03x18 - By-Line, Daisy Duke

[bunniefuu]

Reporter Daisy Duke
uncovers her first scandal.

And guess who's it.

Be careful, Luke.

Why don't you go fry
yourself a snowball?

- Hang on, Luke.
- Come on.

- What is that?
- Over and out.

No, look out!

When you see the
Duke boys poke along

like they ain't got a
care in the world...

things on the farm
are about to change.

'Cause Dukes and
trouble go together

like cornbread and buttermilk.

What a day!

Come on, hurry up!

Get on board here. Hurry
up, before the owner gets here.

In the big city, robbers
steal something they can tote.

But in Hazzard they
think big. Like a tractor.

Okay, let's get our
tails out of here.

You don't want to
sit around all day.

I can't hardly wait to
get over to Cotton Lake.

Cooter says them
catfish were getting harder

than barflies at the Boars Nest.

Better give that
truck some horn...

or Cooter will be fishing
us out of Sutter's Pond.

Come on, guys!

Boy, you near
tore that car in half.

You want me to go
back and try again?

- Dang it.
- Really!

Them turkeys didn't
even give an inch.

They didn't stop to see what
kind of trouble they caused.

I can tell you right now. They
picked a poor spot for fishing.

Meanwhile, Daisy was
cooking on a moonlighting job...

that she'd taken at
the Hazzard Gazette.

I know I'm not a
real reporter or typist

there's some "E's"
and "O's" missing...

'cause the typewriter at the
farm's at least years old.

"Mabel Horton's chicken
laid a five-yolk egg"?

Yes! Can you believe that?
And I got it first. A scoop.

"Sy Meeker got
laryngitis and withdrew

from the county
hog-calling contest."

And Ed Purty wants to swap
his rooster that crows at a.m...

for one that crows at
a.m. which I can understand.

I understand you're not
a professional reporter.

You're just contributing items
to make a little extra money...

So I can take the correspondence
school's modeling course...

for when I'm on stage
with my singing career.

I appreciate your
ambitiousness, but at $ an item...

I'm gonna need something
with a little more bite to it.

Okay.

I'll tell you what, I'll
pay you for these items.

But you go over to the
Boars Nest and find out...

what the emergency town
meeting's about. You hear?

I'm gone. Forgot
the tools of the trade.

I'm sorry. Bye.

The town meeting
at the Boars Nest...

was about the large amount
of tractor stealing in Hazzard.

There goes another.

This is like sh**ting
fish in a barrel.

And after the town
meeting was over...

Miss Daisy decided to
do an in-depth interview.

Just like on TV.

It sure was nice of you, Jesse,
speaking up for me like that.

I wasn't speaking up for you.

I was just keeping some
friends out of trouble, that's all.

- Say "Grits."
- Grits!

- What's that for?
- Hazzard Gazette.

Listen Daisy, if you're
gonna take my picture...

take the left profile,
that's my best...

Clam up, dodo. What've you got
to do with the Hazzard Gazette?

I'm moonlighting as a
contributing reporter.

Can you tell me if you have
any information on these crooks?

Unless you stop poking your
nose into official police business...

your moonlighting
job ain't gonna

have a sun-lighting
job here to go with it.

Do you hear me?

Come on, we got more
important things to take care of.

You coming?

Come on.

Come on, get on out of here.

That's three. Them
boys do move fast.

Why are we taking tractors
from kin and neighbors...

of the County of Hazzard?

- We ain't doing that at all.
- We ain't?

No siree, Bob, we ain't.

- What are we doing?
- I'll tell you what.

I'm merely correcting a previous
professional, financial error.

That's what I'm doing.

I hear you clucking,
but I can't find the nest.

I'll make it plain and simple
so you will understand.

- I'd appreciate that.
- Listen.

I loaned them the money to buy
them tractors seven years ago...

when interest rates were low.

Now that they're high, I'm
losing a good % a year.

So I'm taking back them
tractors to recoup my losses.

Ain't that illegal? I mean...

It's perfectly legal. I'm
borrowing back my own money.

- It's what you call reloaning.
- Reloaning.

- Look at that. Not even a pound.
- Not one.

And I gotta lose at least
for my life insurance.

You gonna leave Lulu
your life insurance?

Lulu? Of course not.

Rosco, I'm the only man
living who's his own beneficiary.

I'm taking it with me.

The way I see it

it's gonna be up to us to
find them tractor thieves...

before folks around
here get all riled up...

and start taking the
law into their own hands.

Now, what we got...

Daisy, what are you doing?

I'm listening and typing
up my story, Uncle Jesse.

That can wait until we
get an ending to the story.

Speaking of endings, I
wouldn't be a bit surprised...

that when this story winds
down we find Boss Hogg there.

Old Boss don't like no outside
crime coming into Hazzard.

So we know what we gotta do now.
Here's how it's gonna come down.

Cooter, you and me
are gonna go around

keep our eyes peeled
for any strangers.

I'll interview the
farms that got robbed

and see if I can
get any information.

You do that.

Bo, you and Luke
go hire yourselves out

to some people who
ain't been robbed yet.

Sooner or later, them
thieves have gotta

come snooping
around those tractors.

- Yes, sir.
- Alrighty.

Listen, Boss...

I hate to keep
harping on this...

but about those tractors...

Daisy's gonna trace
those tractors right to us.

No, Daisy Duke ain't gonna
be able to trace nothing.

I mean, tractors
ain't like autos.

Once you rub the
serial numbers off

you can't tell one
from the other.

Maybe so, but listen...

she is desperate to get
a story for the Gazette.

Who cares about Daisy Duke
and her story for the Gazette?

I don't care.

I do.

Then I do, too.

Come the right time...

we're gonna give Daisy
Duke her story for the Gazette.

Wonderful! We're
gonna arrest ourselves.

Rosco...

you know, if you had a brain,
you'd be downright dangerous.

What we're gonna do...

is pin the whole thing
on Daisy Duke's own kin.

You mean Bo and Luke Duke.

I didn't think of that.
Where'd you get these ideas?

Rosco, don't leave me here.

The search began.

Jesse and Cooter both
scouring the countryside.

Daisy digging with
pad and pencil.

Bo and Luke just
digging and digging

like they're just
digging to be digging.

Luke, I think...

we can put fences around half
of Hazzard before we find them.

Look at it this way. We
learned ourselves a trade.

Always looking
on the bright side.

You got it.

Hey, Luke, look at that.

Those are the same guys.

I don't know but we ain't
hanging around to find out.

Ain't that them two fellas
that run us off the road?

If this starts you best take it
easy. This ain't the General.

We ain't got time to
get to the General.

Come on, baby.

Alright.

I think they'd do better if
they'd saddled up the cow.

No sign of them.

Reckon they know
what we got in the back?

- Possible.
- If they do...

we're gonna have a hard
time outrunning them in this.

That's a real
bright observation.

I didn't figure we was. That's
why I picked the Ridge Road.

Can't you get this
thing to go any faster?

I've got both feet to the
floor, and I'm looking for more.

- It don't go no faster.
- Alright.

There's the truck.

What's it doing sitting in the
middle of the road, though?

It ain't sitting in the road,
it's heading right towards us.

I don't know. What
would y'all do?

Well, Luke..

This ain't the place to be.

- You alright?
- Yeah, a little dizzy, though.

How about you?

I feel like I just went a couple
of rounds on the losing end.

You know, I'm so
mad I could chew nails.

If I get my hands on them, I'll
turn them every way but loose.

And we thought they
was bad to the General.

You mean to tell me
you ain't got no idea

why they ran you
all off the road?

Well, the way we figured it...

they must've thought
we was a mite upset...

about them running us
off the road this morning.

You mean to tell me they
did it twice in one day?

Cooter, don't rub it in.

It's better to be rubbed in
than rubbed out, brother.

J. D. HOGG - COUNTY
COMMISSIONER Cletus!

- Where in tarnation is my lunch?
- Right here, Cousin Boss.

Cousin Lulu just
wheelbarrowed it over here.

What're you doing here now?

Get back to your speed
trap and earn your keep.

No tip, just a trap?

What you got in there?

I got celery, scallions,
lettuce and half a carrot stick.

Rabbit food, not Hogg food.

You chubby little rascal.
You got a pie hidden in there.

There's no pie in this.

I'm really putting myself
through some punishment.

I sure hope it's worth it.

It is 'cause you're fat.

Rosco, Boss, we
gotta talk to y'all.

Get out of here before
you curdle my lunch.

Alright. Rosco ain't
eating. We'll talk to him.

I was just going out to lunch.

We're here to tell you somebody
stole Len Hickey's tractor.

- How do you know?
- We were just there, Boss.

The guys that stole it are
probably the same ones

that ran us off the Ridge Road.

Is that a fact?

Have you got a
description of the truck?

Rosco, how did you
know it was a truck?

What Rosco means
is it's hardly likely...

that anybody's gonna
carry off a tractor...

using a jeep,
auto or kiddie car.

You see, that's just
plain police logic.

No pie!

Besides, we don't know
if there really was a truck.

- What's that supposed to mean?
- Nothing.

Except, you know,
there's a good possibility...

that these Dukes made up
this story out of whole cloth

just to cover their tracks.

Boss, you ain't insinuating...

I ain't insinuating
nothing, I'm stating.

And I'm asking myself here...

if he might not just investigate
these strange circumstances...

of you boys being at
the scene of the crime.

Why don't you go fry
yourself a snowball?

We'll find them
crooks ourselves.

sh**t a bug. Come the right
time, I might do that myself.

- What do you mean by that, Boss?
- You'll find out.

Now, you just get out of here.

And you let me eat this
excuse for a lunch in peace.

I can't believe it.

Just can't believe it.

How are you, Charlie?

Them two, they gotta be
as low as a snake's belly

in a wagon rut.

They're looking for
someone to take the blame.

Me and Bo are always
the most likely candidates.

Boss Hogg's just
blowing off steam.

Ain't no way he
can pin this on us.

If there's a way,
he's gonna find it.

I think we're obliged to
find them fellas in that truck.

We gotta do it fast.

Cooter and I will
cover everything

on the other side
of Deer Springs.

You fellas take
everything on this side.

What am I supposed to do?

There's information floating
around the Boars Nest.

You get to keep all the
secrets you can overhear, right?

- I'll check with you later.
- Yes, sir.

You be careful now.

Charley, have you seen...

Will you watch what you doing?

- Here we go.
- Come on, let's git.

Look. The guys who
ran us off the road.

Come on, let's go.

Cletus! Just what we need.

You never can tell. We can
use all the help we can get.

Looks like our
company's got company.

I got ears. I thought those
cops was working for us.

No, just the sheriff himself.

Let's not stick around
and explain to his helper.

Rattle some slats, boy.

They're gaining on us.

Let's give them our
reverse field running.

Now, Boss had put
Cletus on a ticket quota.

And if he fell short, it
came out of his paycheck.

So no amount of pleading or
explaining by Bo and Luke...

about who they
was chasing or why...

was gonna have any
effect on old Cletus.

The Duke boys...

breathing down our necks
every time we turn around.

You get them out of our
way, or we will, Boss...

permanently.

Wait a minute. There's
no need for v*olence.

No siree, them Duke boys
are gonna be took care of.

The only thing we're
gonna have to do...

is temporarily sacrifice
that last tractor you took.

And the truck it's in.

Wait a minute, Boss. Let
me ask you something.

Listen...

if we put those Duke
boys in the slammer...

how we gonna take
any more tractors?

I didn't say put them in
jail. Did I knucklehead?

We're gonna just let
them stay on the loose

until we are all done.

All done.

- Would you look at that?
- What?

I still ain't lost nothing.

In fact, you gained a
little half pound here.

And all them carrots
I've been eating...

Alright. Now, you listen.

This is what you're going to do.

Bo! Luke! Answer the phone!

Hello, Rodney.

Anybody get the phone?

Hello?

This is a friend of Bo
and Luke's. A little advice.

For their own good

they better get rid of what's
behind the Duke barn...

before law gets here.

Who is this anyway?

That does it.

It's all coming together now.

Just like flapjacks
and molasses.

Don't bring them up. Please.

Oh, I'm sorry fat little buddy.

Holy mackerel! That looks
like Len Hickey's tractor.

Bo! Luke!

- Find anything, Uncle Jesse?
- Back here.

Right here in our own
backyard. Look at that.

And there's our truck.

And one of the tractors, too.

How the heck did it
get behind our barn?

It has Boss Hogg
written all over it.

That means that JD's right in
the middle of this whole thing.

Looking to get us
caught with all the goods.

Wouldn't be the first time.

What are we waiting for?

- Let's get rid of it.
- I'll get the door.

Alright, everybody.

It's time for the other call.

I love it. I just love it.

Operator, give me
the Boars Nest. Bar.

Boars Nest. Yes, Daisy speaking.

Sure, hold on.

- Sheriff!
- What is it?

Got a telephone call.

Must really be important
to call me out here.

Rosco P. Coltrane here.

How's that?

Those tractor thieves
done struck again?

Well, isn't that a shame?

What all did they get?

They got a truck and a tractor?

That's terrible.

I'm on my way.

Truck and a tractor.

- She bite?
- Did she bite?

Hook, line and crawdad.

Hello, Mabel?

Yes, get me Mr. Clyde
Amos at the Hazzard Gazette.

And hurry Mabel,
it's real important.

You get out there
and call Cletus.

Tell him to watch the Duke
farm and then report to us.

Right.

- Don't tell him why.
- No.

He's from the stupid
part of my family.

Just starts blabbing
to everybody.

Yeah, stupid.

And when he does report,
I'll go out there with you.

- Go on, get going!
- I'm going.

Alright, I had enough of this.

I'll get dressed
and get out of here.

I can't get out. I'm stuck.

I'm stuck!

I start out in a steam box, I
end up in an electric chair.

- Where are you gonna take it?
- As far from here as we can.

I'll follow you in the General
Lee so you have a ride back.

We'll go on the main road
as far as Hidden Pines...

and cut off the road from there.

- I'll be right behind.
- Yes, sir.

Maybe we can sneak
it back to Len Hickey.

Cletus Hogg calling...

Deputy Cletus Hogg calling
Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.

The Dukes boys just shot out
of there like a wad of buckshot.

This is Sheriff Rosco.

Listen, which way
were they headed?

Come back.

Hidden Pines.

That's a - .
Now listen, Cletus...

now you stay on their tail
but stay loose as a goose.

We're gonna box them
in like a new pair of boots.

I'm going. Bye.

I tell you, Boss. We got them.
We got them now. I can't wait.

Alright, slow down.
Just slow down.

We don't want to lose
that star witness behind us.

She wants to be a reporter,
so let's let her report.

Let her report.

Sure got something you can
dig your teeth into this time.

This thing might
even get you a by-line.

If it's all the same to
you, I could use cash.

I'd sure like to get my
hands on Boss and Rosco.

Don't look like you'll
have to wait too long.

My guess is that's
them headed this way.

Uncle Jesse, this here is Luke.

We got Boss and Rosco
knocking on our front door.

Forget the back door.
Enos just closed it.

You boys got any ideas on
how to get out of this mess?

The only way I can see
is do a little square dance.

- I'll do the calling.
- Square dancing?

Hold your partner
close and tight.

Do-si-do with all your might.

And I'll swing left
and you swing right.

Let's do it.

Buzzards on a buzz saw.

Truck's getting away.

Not with my by-line and my
modeling course money, it ain't.

Cletus, you idiot!

Mr. Amos, wanna reach back there
and hand me that bow and arrow?

Right. Bow and arrow?

Bo and Luke have been
teaching me how to use it.

Might as well put to
practice what I learned.

You take this wheel
and hold it steady.

Alright.

- Got it?
- Got it.

At least we got rid
of Boss and Rosco.

That we did.

Now if we can just figure out
what the heck Daisy is up to.

Daisy don't do that.

Daisy!

You know, it just dawned on
me. Daisy don't know who's driving.

- Hang on, Luke.
- Bull's eye!

We did it.

- Go get them.
- We'll get them.

- Come on, hurry.
- Alright there.

- We got you.
- Freeze!

Alright. Get out of there.

- This is it.
- Come on now. Get out of there.

Put your hands up. Put 'em up.

Rosco, Cletus, get
out of the way, please.

Bo! Luke!

JD, if you think these boys
have taken to stealing tractors...

you're crazy now.

Put your paddle back
in the water, Jesse.

This truck they were
driving speaks for itself.

Alright, you boys...

get over there to General Lee,
put your hands on the hood.

I'll keep an eye on them.

No! You keep your
eyes glued on the truck.

Alright, everybody,
gather round.

I want to interrogate
you as witnesses.

- No time like the present.
- Wanna drive?

Did you or did you not
see this here truck...

trying to escape the
lawful pursuit of the sheriff?

I want each one of you to
answer, and remember...

it's the same as if
you were under oath.

- Now...
- Look there. They're escaping.

Alright. Not too fast now.
We don't wanna catch them.

We don't?

No. We just want to mark
them as "wanted men."

- He gaining on us?
- No.

I know this sounds
wild and crazy

but just slow down, will you?

Do it.

They're slowing down.
What do you want me to do?

Slow down yourself, dodo.

Just like I figured.
He slowed up, too.

Why the heck you
think they're doing that?

Let her rip now. The way
he figures... Drive, okay?

Alright.

If he's stealing tractors,
he ain't quite through.

He don't want his pigeons
comin home to roost.

There he goes,
he's gonna escape.

Alright. Let him.

This part of my plan is
working just beautiful.

Now, lets turn
around and go back.

Turn around and go back.

Mr. Amos, you can't
print those pictures.

Bo and Luke are innocent.

We told you everything,
just like it happened.

Them boys was set up.

Look, folks, I know
just how you feel.

No, you don't. I took those
pictures of my own kin.

Now you're gonna turn it
around and throw them in jail.

Daisy, newspaper folks
are neither judge nor jury.

We just report things
the way they happen.

But things didn't happen
the way they happened.

At least they didn't happen
the way they happened

to look like they happened.

I'm sorry, Jesse.

But I'm not gonna
destroy these pictures.

Now we got eight
hours to press time.

If you can prove
that these pictures lie

then I won't have to print them.

That's the best I can do.
You've got eight hours.

- Eight hours.
- We can do it.

Now, eight hours didn't
seem like no whole lot of time

to Jesse and Daisy to prove
Bo and Luke's innocence.

But the boys weren't
letting any grass

grow under their feet.

Not that high up anyway.

Alright.

You'll be getting five tractors
at the end of the week.

Right. That's good.

I know I promised six, but
one's being used for evidence.

You'll find out. You
just bring the money

we'll bring the merchandise.

You know the time and place.

Well, hang up,
he's off. That's it.

- What do you see?
- Two guys from the truck.

Right. Boss is
in on it, alright.

Hey, pull me up.
They're coming out.

- All six, right?
- No, two of them.

They want six of them.

Well, come on, boy.

The smoothest
thing I ever seen...

The boys are off and running.

And the Hazzard
Gazette clock is running.

But for Daisy and Uncle Jesse...

time was standing still

while they pondered
on what to do next.

We just gotta do something.

There ain't much we can do
until we hear from Bo and Luke.

Maybe we can try
them on the radio again.

I've been trying
for the last hour.

Try again.

HOTEL

Shepherd to Lost Sheep.
You got your ears on?

Yeah, we got our ears on...

and eyes peeled.

We're sitting across
from that hotel

where them crooks
are hid out at.

Somehow I get the feeling
there ain't much room

for tractors up there.

Seems to me the only way you
boys gonna clear yourselves...

is get them
tractors, the thieves

and Boss Hogg all
together at one time.

Pretty much what I was thinking.

I got a notion about how to
do that, too. Where you at?

At Cooter's. Where
did you say you was?

Just around the corner.
I'll be there in a minute.

I'd appreciate it if you'd
keep your eyes on the hotel...

instead of the girls walking by.

If I could do that, I
wouldn't be a Duke.

We've only got four hours left.

That's why we make Boss
move up his time schedule.

Daisy, you call
over to the hotel.

Tell them dudes that
Boss has changed plans.

He wants the
merchandise delivered

to the buyer within the hour.

You know where
they'll meet the buyer?

No, but they do, see?

Cooter, you cut her
about minutes slack...

and then you go convince Boss...

that these two guys split
town real sudden like.

And Boss'll think
they're ripping him off.

With a suspicious mind like his

he'll be after them
in two minutes.

And we follow him
to the meeting place...

And I get pictures
of the real crooks.

Don't count your
chickens, though.

Okay.

I guess I'll get
ahold of Mabel first.

Anybody who believes
it's gonna be that smooth...

would buy beachfront
property in Tennessee.

But Daisy's phone call
to Boss' confederates...

worked like a
charm to start with.

And Bo and Luke
followed their lead.

Meanwhile, Cooter
was telling Boss

the two friends at the hotel...

had skipped town
without paying their bill.

Almost gave Boss apoplexy,
or something like that.

Did you hear that? If
what Cooter says is true...

them two boys of ours
left town bag and baggage.

- Why would they do that?
- Why?

I asked you first.

Because, lamebrain, they're
gonna try to double-cross me.

Come on, I gotta go change
quick, so we can go after them.

- I can't go with this bill here.
- Come here and help me.

Better get going, don't
wanna lose them again.

You two thieves,
hold it right there.

Like I said, it ain't
gonna be easy.

You got this all wrong.

Mr. Perkins, you're
making a big mistake.

No mistake.

I heard the sheriff's got a
warrant out for your arrest...

and proof that you two
are the tractor thieves.

Now, you boys get
on over by my truck...

- while I use your CB to call.
- Yes, we will, sir.

Sheriff Coltrane. How does
this doggone thing work?

Sheriff Coltrane,
farmer Perkins here.

- Mr. Perkins, your truck.
- Better give us a hand.

Well, stop it. Stop it
before it rolls down the hill.

Thank you, boys.
I appreciate it.

You better jump in there and
check the emergency brake.

Make sure it's working.

- Perkins, don't forget your g*n.
- Keys.

BOARS NEST - BEER

Where's my driver?
Alright, you drive.

Okay.

- Where are we going?
- The old livery stable.

They'd have to go there first.

- We're going.
- Come on.

DIXIE

RIDGE ROAD - CEDAR CITY
FINCHBURG - ELDERBERRY LANE

sh**t, we lost them.

I can find out where they are.

Daisy, this here is
Luke. You read me?

Daisy, come back.

Static.

It's about time to teach
you more about electronics.

Yeah, I know it.

There it is.

Little Bo Peep to all the sheep,
turn to Shepherd's channel.

Fox and The Bear headed
towards Wild Hollow.

Hang loose, fellas, we
don't want to scare them off.

I repeat, Boss and Rosco are
headed towards Wild Hollow.

Don't scare them off, fellas.
Little Bo Peep, over and out.

That sounds like
the old livery stable.

Bo and Luke, this is
Shepherd. Did you read that?

We better get on down the road.

- Here we are, Boss.
- They're gone.

All my tractors
are in the truck.

That's naughty. Those
sneaking lowlife crooks.

Probably gonna sell
them to my buyer.

Probably.

Alright. Dry Creek Road
and Willow Corners. Come on.

We're going.

Stinking lowlifes.

Fixing that loose wire
ought to take care of things.

They just left the livery
stable on Bent Oak Road...

headed towards Willow Corners.

- How's that for timing?
- Not too bad.

We read you loud
and clear. We're gone.

Alright, come on, will you?

- There they are!
- I see them.

Cut them off,
Rosco, cut them off!

Alright, come on out.
You dirty double-crossers!

Y'all pay attention
'cause things are fixing

to come to a head.

While Boss and Rosco was
accusing Vic and Corey...

of trying to
double-cross them...

Vic and Corey tried to explain

they were just
following Boss' orders.

They didn't know that they
was all on candid camera...

and that the Hazzard
cavalry was about to charge.

If you'd calm down, Boss,
we got a message to get going.

And I never sent
no such message.

No, he didn't send no such
message, did you, Boss?

I just said I didn't,
didn't I, pea brain?

- Somebody sent it, Boss.
- Hold on a minute there.

Y'all hear some
kind of clicking noise?

Yeah, right over there.

Daisy Duke.

Well, don't just stand
here posing for her.

Let's grab that camera.

The Dukes always were
ones for cutting it close.

There she goes. Come on.

Come back here, Daisy.

Dang, blast it.

Rosco, get me up, will you?

There she goes. After her!

Get the camera.

Ain't that Daisy something?

Dropping the camera
in Boss' own car...

was one way of making
sure he didn't catch her with it.

Now how do you reckon
she's gonna get it back?

Bo, Luke, got your ears on?

Right here, cousin.
What you got?

I'm on Rocky Ridge Road
with Boss and his cronies

right behind me.

The camera is on the floor
in the back of Boss' car.

Keep them flying but head them
down Shady Tree Lane. Got it?

- , honey. I'm gone.

Uncle Jesse, this
is Bo and Luke...

We could use a little
interference on the competition.

You know what to do.

You got yourself
Saturday night in town.

Hold it steady.

Be careful now.
You ain't no squirrel.

Now don't go nodding
off now, Grandpa

or you'll miss all the fun.

'Cause while Boss and his
g*ng was chasing Daisy...

Jesse and Cooter
were cutting into line,

running interference
for Bo and Luke.

Or something like that.

Get out of my way, Jesse!
Coming through here!

Be careful, Luke.

What is that? Luke Duke!

The camera!

The camera!

You think that's something?

You ought to see the
Hazzard High basketball team.

They play in cars, too.

- Here's your camera, Daisy.
- Thanks!

Throw it here.

I got the camera!

That's real good,
Boss, but I got the film.

Now hold it steady, Bo.

- Did you get it, Bo?
- I got it.

We gotta get them doors
open one of these days.

Well done!

Hazzard County Gazette - Hi, y'all.
- Hi.

Here's the headline.

TRACTOR THIEVES CAUGHT

That was Daisy's first headline.

It cost Boss about
$ , in contributions

to the Hazzard
County orphanage...

not to have his picture
shown with Vic and Corey

who went to jail.

Bo and Luke were
cleared of all charges

and Boss managed
to put on five pounds.

All that exercise gave him
some kind of an appetite.

But one thing was working,
Boss' Celebrity Speed Trap.

And this time it nailed
Miss Dottie West.

Alright, Cletus, you tear
up that ticket right now.

It'll be my pleasure.

Miss West, would you be so kind
as to autograph my ticket book?

Sure, just as soon as you
tell me why I've been arrested.

'Cause you violated Traffic
Ordinance Number ...

which has been on
the book since .

I never heard of that.

I thought maybe
you didn't, so look

I brought here a book
of every ordinance.

Here we are, Traffic
Ordinance Number :

"No person shall drive
a horseless carriage"...

and that means an automobile,

"through the
streets of Hazzard...

"unless preceded by a man
six feet ahead of said vehicle...

"waving a red lantern."

Come on, Boss.

How come I never heard
of anything that important?

And another thing. It
ain't very flattering...

to be working
off a traffic ticket

when you're not even
charging admission.

Don't you worry your pretty
head about that, Dottie.

I may have let them in free...

but I'm charging them
$ a piece to get out.

Ain't it nice to know
there's a place in this world

where things never change?