03x17 - Along Came a Duke

[bunniefuu]

Yep, that's Bo and Luke.

Just like you'd expect,
burning up the road.

I'll tell you one thing:

If they knew the mess
they're about to get into...

they'd slow down a little bit.

Now there's the
mess: Boss J.D. Hogg.

Folks in Hazzard take their
American heroes seriously.

Like Gen. Stonewall
Jackson, for instance.

If they knew what old Boss
was doing in Jackson's name...

they'd be chasing him
north of someplace terrible.

We'll just park right here
next to good old Gen. Jackson.

General Lee would like that.
Jackson was his right-hand man.

Check out the guy in the stilts.

Now, if that ain't a walking
disgrace to the uniform.

Gotcha.

Cletus, we ain't
done nothing wrong.

Yes, you have.

Not to mention parking
on this side of the street...

you're loitering in front of the
portrait of Stonewall Jackson.

That's gonna cost you $ ...

unless you'd like
to buy two tickets...

to Boss' exhibit at $ apiece.

Cletus, it seems to me you
jaywalked your way over here...

making our ticket
illegal in the first place.

Let's see. Jaywalking,
that's a $ fine, ain't it, Luke?

Tell you what.

Why don't you take
them exhibit tickets...

to the kids at the orphanage?

And we'll drop
charges against you.

You will?

- Sure.
- Sure, we will.

- Thanks. That's mighty generous.
- What are friends for, Cletus?

Thanks.

Oh, boy, those guys
sure are nice to me...

I think.

Dad-gum it, they...

Dressing up Hazzard for
Stonewall Jackson Day.

You know, there ain't nothing
Boss wouldn't do for money

There is not

I thought you were gonna
do some bodywork last night.

Well, I did.

We're just gonna have to
work on the General tonight.

Now, get in that car. That's it.

Two to one.

Why don't we go down
there and see if we can't...

even up the odds a mite?

Come on, get up, now. Don't
worry, Luke, I can handle them.

Here, let me help you up.

You okay?

Considering the
alternatives, I think so.

That kid sure packs a punch.

- I'm obliged to you two.
- We're just glad to help out.

No, I think a
reward is in order.

Sir, we can't take nothing
for just doing what's right.

Well, well.

I certainly intend to relate
your heroic intercedence...

to the Cultural Commissioner
of Hazzard County.

- The who?
- Of what?

I had his card in my wallet,
which it seems those ruffians...

have absconded with.

If I recollect correctly,
his name was Hogg.

- Well, thank you.
- Yeah.

- Thank you again, gentlemen.
- Yes, sir.

- Take care.
- Thank you, boys.

Hold on a minute. Wait!

Best get in the General
and chase him down.

Not with that busted radiator.

Unless you wanna
drop the whole engine.

What do you suppose
we should do withit?

Take it to town and return it.

As soon as we get the
radiator fixed, alright?

What do you suppose the
curator of the Atlanta Museum...

would be doing with Hazzard's
Cultural Commissioner?

I suppose it's got something
to do with Stonewall Jackson.

For once, we ain't
getting involved, right?

We're not involved already.

Did y'all hear that? By
meeting the museum man...

The Dukes were already
in it up to their ears.

Now, Gen. Stonewall Jackson
never set foot in Hazzard.

Even the Yankees
tried to avoid it.

But that didn't stop Boss
from putting on a special day...

each year at the bank...

to honor Gen. Stonewall Jackson.

Gen. Stonewall
Jackson, that's who.

I'm talking about the personal
sword of Gen. Stonewall Jackson.

It's gotta be worth $ , .

That's what I'm asking
from you, Beauregard Mason.

That sword is not
only historical...

it's an art treasure.

Art treasures are
hard to dispose of.

Which is why people like
you come to people like me.

But I'll give you
$ , for it.

$ , ? You've got yourself
a deal, Beauregard. Bye.

- I done it.
- You done it.

I'm gonna make this
the most profitable...

Stonewall Jackson
Day we ever had.

Exactly what did you do, Boss?

- You remember Beauregard Mason?
- Yeah, big man.

Yep, the biggest fence of
stolen goods in the South.

I just sold him the personal
sword of Gen. Stonewall Jackson.

How could you do that?

I thought that sword was
in the museum in Atlanta.

Yeah, it is.

But according to Article ,
Section of the State Charter:

"Any historical object
can be borrowed...

from any state
museum for exhibition...

"by any County
Cultural Commissioner."

And in Hazzard County...

- That's you.
- That's me.

But, Boss, if you
borrow it and then sell it...

aren't they gonna
accuse you of stealing it?

Not if that sword gets stolen
before I take possession.

How are you gonna do that?

That's easy. Couple of boys
who are working for me...

are ready to get their
hands on that sword...

from the man who's bringing
it over here this very minute.

It's just amazing what comes
out of that fat head of yours.

Now, that dollar
that's brilliant.

Of course, now we know
that them boys of old Boss'...

didn't get that sword
because of old Bo and Luke...

who don't think
they're involved.

They all thank you
till it gets complicated.

My, my! A picture of
the personal sword...

of Gen. Stonewall Jackson.

And tomorrow, when
our exhibit opens...

the real sword
will be on display...

thanks to Mr. Hastings,
here, and the Atlanta Museum.

Boy, that thing
must be valuable.

- $ , valuable.
- That's valuable.

Tell me, do you think
them bushwhackers...

you told me about who gave
you all that trouble on the road...

might have been after the sword?

- No, I don't think so.
- No, you don't think so.

No, my wallet's missing, that's
most likely what they wanted.

- That's what they wanted.
- That ain't what they wanted.

Rosco, you...

You're gonna show
Mr. Hastings here...

that Hazzard ain't
no criminal paradise.

So you just get
yourself out on the road.

And don't you show
your face in here again...

until that missing wallet is
in my pocket In my hand...

and them hoodlums in cuffs.

Boss, you hired them hoodlums...

- I know what I did.
- You got another plan?

Yeah, I got another
plan. Of course I do.

But I need time
to put it into effect.

So you just get out there...

and sell some
exhibit tickets, too.

- Take that flea farm with you.
- Flea farm? That's Flash.

That ain't no flea farm.
That's just my little puppy.

We'll get them this time.

The shape that
radiator's in, it looks like...

this is one chase
Rosco's gonna win.

A citation is cheaper than
a new engine. Pull her over.

Guess you're right.

Rosco, we didn't do it.

You didn't do what?

Whatever it is you're
about to accuse us of.

What I'm accusing you of
is polluting the atmosphere...

with this steaming radiator.
That's what I'm accusing you of.

It's gonna cost you a $
fine, unless you wanna buy...

two tickets to...

What is this wallet doing
here on your dashboard?

That there wallet
belongs to the curator...

of the Atlanta Museum.

Then you admit taking it?

Alright, then. Bo
and Luke Duke...

I charge you with
grand theft wallet.

Now get out of there. And
don't give me a hard time...

because Flash
hasn't been fed yet.

- Rosco.
- Move it on.

I can't believe it.

You realize, Commissioner...

that the Museum will
assume responsibility...

for that sword in-transit.

But when you take possession
and sign the receipt...

it becomes your responsibility.

- $ , .
- I know that, Mr. Hastings.

And speaking of picking up
and delivering that sword...

I got just the men for the job.

Harry Joe, Tiny,
show yourselves.

Y'all recognize them?

Mr. Hastings, I can
personally vouch...

for the integrity of these men.

I know I shall sleep
well at night knowing...

that sword is
being transported...

I need someone whose
integrity I can vouch for, Mr. Hogg.

Of course you do.

Boys, wait in my office.

I know I'll find something
else suitable for your talents.

Yes, sir.

- Listen...
- Alright, stuff your...

Alright, I got the
wallet thieves.

Alright, Cletus, take
these two rowdies...

and put them in
the holding cell.

You're making a
big mistake, Rosco.

Sheriff Coltrane don't
ever make small ones.

Sheriff, Mr. Commissioner,
these are the two men...

who came to my rescue.

- Is that a fact?
- Yes.

My, my. Ain't that just
like my young friends...

Bo and Luke Duke... to do
a good turn to someone else.

Sheriff, put that g*n away...

and give his wallet
back to Mr. Hastings.

Thank you.

Boys, I'm deeply sorry...

that you had to suffer this
humiliation because of me.

We were bound to see
the seamier side of life.

You know, our meeting
may be heaven-sent.

The Museum is lending
the sword of Gen. Jackson...

to the bank here...

and I need someone, at
fair pay, to transport it for me.

Do you think you boys
can see your way clear...

to help me out one more time?

Sir, you said something
about fair pay?

Yes, Mr. Hogg will
pay you $ each.

I will?

Read the State Charter
on borrowing for exhibition.

I arrange transport,
you pay for it.

Oh, yes.

- In advance, Mr. Hogg.
- Now?

Alright.

Here you go. $
for you, $ for you.

- Thank you.
- One more thing.

Let me and Bo say...

what a pleasure it is
being on your cash payroll.

- Yes, sir.
- Why, thank you, boys.

Now, you be there at
: tomorrow morning.

And, Mr. Commissioner,
I'm counting on you...

to look on that sword
like it was your very own.

I will. Indeed, I
most certainly will.

- Now, boys, shall we?
- Sure.

- Wait, you listen...
- Bye, Rosco.

You gave each $ , and
they're gonna work for you?

Rosco, do you know why I'm
the biggest man in this county?

Because you eat more
than anybody else.

No! It's because I can look
adversity right in the eye...

and twist and turn it
to my own advantage.

At this time tomorrow...

we'll not only have our
hands on that sword...

but guess who's gonna be
sitting in that cell over there...

charged with the
crime of stealing it?

- Harry Joe and Tiny?
- Come on!

Yeah, Harry Joe and Tiny
are gonna steal that sword.

But we're gonna pin
the theft on the Dukes.

That's wonderful.

- Could you turn loose...
- Yeah.

I can't get my finger out!

Yeah, but look at this.

Atlanta.

Which sure bounced back
from the way old Sherman left it.

It's where the boys are gonna
pick up Gen. Jackson's sword.

Eustice Hastings didn't
get to be the curator...

of Atlanta's museum...

by not being a careful man.

If anyone knew the sword
was being transported...

they'd go after
that armored truck.

So he put the real
sword in General Lee.

Yep, he had it all
figured out. Every angle.

Y'all recognize them?

Now, this one's gonna
make a great publicity photo.

How do I look, Rosco?
Like a regular urban cowboy?

No, Boss, you look more
like a little urban fatboy.

Willis, you make
sure that the caption...

on these here pictures...

mentions that my
great granddaddy...

Lighthorse Harry Hogg...

rode with Stonewall
Jackson himself.

Lighthorse was the one who
rode in the other direction...

wasn't he, Boss?

We've got company.

I think you're dead right. And
we seen that car there before.

Alright, just hush up
and get that phone.

And thanks for bringing
my lunch, Daisy.

I wanna stay and
watch the picture taken.

- Alright, you can do that.
- Rosco P. Coltrane here.

Boss, it's Beauregard Mason.

Alright, I'll be right down.
Somebody help me dismount.

Here, hold this.

J.D. Hogg speaking.

I got the money, Hogg.
You got the sword?

Well, I'll have it by noon.

You bring them ,
you-know-whats...

to my office, you hear me?

Then I'll see you at noon, Hogg.

Alright.

Come on, help me
back up on my... Careful.

- There you go.
- There we are. Alright.

Come on now, let's
get another shot.

Rosco, people don't
want your picture.

Just me, sitting up here
like Gen. Stonewall Jackson.

Move it!

What did you do? No!

- You're gonna...
- Ride it, little fat buddy!

God help me!

Did you break anything
important, little fat buddy?

You okay, Boss?

Well, he must be
alright. He's eating.

- I thought you fixed it.
- Dang it, so did I.

We won't be able to outrun
them now. Not with that radiator.

Maybe we can outfox
them. Hang on, Cousin.

We couldn't outfox them.
Maybe we can out-fight them.

Outrun them?

Let's just teach these
two boys a lesson.

Now, friends and neighbors
right there is what makes...

living in Hazzard
County so interesting.

You two, move it on.

I got an account to settle
with these two Dukes.

Now git!

Out of the frying
pan and into the fire.

Lets see if we can
cool him down Sir...

I'll be damned.

- Jeb Stuart Duke!
- Son of a g*n!

My favorite boy
cousin. How you doing?

Good to see you.

Which one of you advantaged
that man's daughter?

Come on, it weren't
nothing that serious.

- Help me up with my bike.
- Sure thing, Jeb.

The last time we saw you was
when we all went on probation.

Where you been keeping yourself?

It's tough enough staying
on probation in Placid County.

Sure is lucky you came along.

I was just heading
for your place.

I entered me in the
County Motocross.

Figured you'll help me
tune her up, run some laps.

We'd love to. This is
quite a bike you got.

We're gonna have to do
some catching up later.

Got some business to
do and fix that radiator.

I'll give Uncle Jesse a call,
let him know you're coming.

Hold on, Cousin.

If you don't mind, I kinda
like to announce myself.

Okay, you can look now.

Well?

Well, it's awful
pretty, Daisy...

but I don't think
it's hardly befitting...

the memory of Gen. Jackson.

Uncle Jesse, I think if the
general was here, he'd like it.

Yes, he probably would.

Holy mackerel.

There's only one fellow I
know who can ride like that...

but he's in Placid County.

- No, he ain't, Uncle Jesse.
- Jeb Stuart Duke, there you are!

Who be this little
hussy, Uncle Jesse?

Jeb Stuart Duke, don't you
recognize your own cousin Daisy?

Daisy, you growed some.

And in a whole
lot of directions.

You two stay here and
visit. I'm going in the kitchen.

When I call you, we're
gonna have ourselves...

an old fashion, Duke visitation.

That bushwhacking
had to be Boss' doing.

He's the only one who knew
where we was gonna be and why.

No sense in
reporting it to Rosco.

Thanks to Jeb, we
still got that sword.

I still aint gonna rest easy...

till we get Boss's
signature on that receipt.

Rosco, you can come
out. I ain't gonna hurt you.

Will you tell me why did
I ever hire them morons?

Well, Boss, I have an idea.

Why don't you sell
this sword to Mason?

- Out of the mouths of babes...
- Thank you.

- And baboons.
- Boss, you calling me a baboon?

No, you're a jackass.
But you're my jackass.

And you just gave
me a wonderful idea...

how I'm gonna get that
sword away from them Dukes...

before they
officially deliver it.

Luke, I can't believe
that radiator's holding out.

I say a little prayer
every morning.

Better keep an eye out in
case them guys show up again.

Yes, sir.

- Here comes the Dukes.
- Alright.

You remember
your cue, don't you?

When I pull my ear, like this.

Yeah, when you
pull your ear like this.

I got that. Did you
get that, Flash?

Luke, what you got there?

Rosco, I need me a
receipt for this here package.

Boy, let's see what
you got in there.

- Alright.
- Look at that.

- Ain't that something?
- That's sharp, I'll bet even.

You can slice your meatloaf
with that, or your ham.

Well, well.

- Morning, Boss.
- Hello, Luke.

I need me a receipt for this
here Gen. Jackson sword.

Oh, yeah. Of course
you need a receipt.

This sure is a nice sword.

Ain't that a doozy?
That's a doozy.

- Your ear bothering you, Boss?
- No. Oh, yeah.

That's one of the better ones.

You could slice
salami or baloney...

Hush! Flash, listen.

Luke, look out,
there. He's vicious.

Flash ain't about to snap
nobody, are you, sweetheart?

Just don't you pay
attention to that dog, there.

I mean, she'll gum...
She'll snap you.

Don't... Look out, there!

She's about ready to snap.

Can I get that
receipt? I gotta go.

You mean, a receipt for this
sword which you just delivered?

Well, it's a mighty
pretty sword...

considering it was
"made in Japan, ."

Hold on, let me see that.

This ain't the Gen.
Jackson sword.

I take that to be a confession!

Rosco, arrest him!

And his cousin sitting
out there in the car.

And have Cletus guard them
both until the US Marshall gets here.

I'll do it.

Which US Marshall is that?

The one in Cedar City
whom you're gonna call...

on account of this sword...

I mean that sword, is
government property...

which makes it a
federal offense to steal it.

I'm happy to say it takes the
whole matter out of my hands.

- Boss switched swords on me.
- Just hush.

You know he switched them.

- He even included Flash, here.
- You're sneaky, Luke Duke.

I know. Uncle Jesse, I know.

Yes, I know, but there's
nothing I can do. I'm sorry, too.

Yes, sir, federal pen.

Okay, bye.

I don't see how we're gonna
be able to clear ourselves...

when we're sitting behind
dang bars at the federal pen.

They can't take us
there if they can't find us.

Cletus, come on
over here a minute.

Okay, just a second.

- Got an idea?
- Not yet.

Think of something.

Yeah, what can I
do for you fellows?

Me and Bo would
like to thank you...

for calling Uncle Jesse for us.

Sure thing, Luke.

I figure no matter
what a fellow's done...

his family's got a right
to share in his shame.

Guess what that is.

That feels like a handgun!

You got that right.

- Bo, get his keys.
- Yes, sir.

Don't you move, Cletus.

Luke, don't sh**t him just yet.

These are his car keys.

Dad-gum it.

No wonder I can't start my car.

I been trying to do
it with my jail keys.

Gotcha.

Handgun, I get it, Handgun

We just ain't got
enough money...

to get Bo and Luke
out of a federal prison.

You know what?

Maybe we could get
ourselves a public defender.

Yes, but if they go
to federal prison...

they may be there months.

Maybe years, Uncle
Jesse, with all that red tape.

- They ain't gonna a prison.
- What do you mean?

You got my words,
as a Duke on that, sir

Try telling that to
the US Marshall.

The keys.

I didn't think it was
gonna be this easy.

Well, it ain't.

You just hold it
right there, partner.

Looks like the jail's is fixing
to have a full house of jokers.

Just where do you
think you're going?

Congratulations, Deputy.

A lesser man would've
let my prisoners escape...

before I got here.

Your prisoners? Who are you?

I'm the Federal
Marshall, of course.

Didn't you know I was coming?

You don't look like a marshal.
You're not dressed like one.

- Neither are you.
- I got a badge.

We heard of the Duke
g*ng over in Cedar City...

so I came undercover.

I'd best be getting them out
before they organize an escape.

Look, I'll see to
it personal-like...

that you get a commendation
for your cooperation, Deputy.

- Me?
- Yes, sir.

- A commendation?
- That's right.

- Get on out of here.
- Marshall.

- Sorry, we got places to go.
- Bye-bye.

Wait a minute!

Hey, mister!

Does that mean I ain't
gonna get my commendation?

You three, hold it...

right there.

Obliged if you can point
me to the Sheriff's office.

- It's right over there.
- Right there across...

- It's been a while.
- We ain't seen him.

I think those Duke boys gave
that federal marshal the slip.

Get off of me.

I don't understand it.

It seems like I
spend half my days...

either meeting or
looking for them boys.

No need to be so
nervous and jumpy.

The boys will be along directly.

You're the only one that's
nervous and jumpy, Uncle Jesse.

I ain't nervous and jumpy,
and I ain't your Uncle Jesse!

What are you grinning about?

I was just thinking
about the look...

on J.D. Hogg's
face right about now.

I'm gonna start
to count to one...

and if you two flea
brains aren't out of here...

and on your way
to find them Dukes...

and whoever it was who
aided and abetted them...

Why ain't you gone?

You ain't started counting yet.

Who'd most likely be dealing
merchandise like that sort?

Beauregard Mason comes to mind.

He handles the fancy stuff
in this part of the country.

I think you're right.

Daisy told me she
overheard Boss Hogg...

talking to a Mr. Mason
on the phone...

about bringing ,
you-know-whats to his office.

What , ?

Seems there ought to
be something we can do.

There might be.

Uncle Jesse, you know if this
Mr. Mason has himself a son?

Who'd know a thing like that?

Then it don't really
matter, does it?

Jeb, you up to one more
monkeyshine? Might be risky.

Wouldn't be no fun otherwise.

What do you think if
Mr. Mason sent his only son...

to deliver the money in person?

If Boss hadn't seen him
would he recognize Jeb?

I figure Boss would be
breathing too hot and heavy...

looking at that $ ,
cash money that Jeb had...

to recognize anybody.

Will somebody tell me what
this $ , is all about?

Alright. Now,
what if Mr. Mason...

Looks to me like old Jeb's
cut from the same rock...

as the rest of the Dukes
to go along with this.

Boss says that
he ain't paying us...

and that he don't
need us no more.

But we ain't leaving
Hazzard County yet.

Seems like Luke ain't the
only one cooking up a plan.

We got them two
$ bills from Boss...

one from Uncle
Jesse, one from Cooter.

- Here you go.
- That leaves us one bill short.

No, you're not one short.

Entry fee for the Motocross.

Alright!

Cooter, this suit fits
good. Where did you get it?

I got it from my cousin
Earl. The undertaker?

Now, if Jeb's gonna pose
as Beauregard Mason's son...

it stands to reason
that Beauregard...

couldn't be allowed
to reach Hazzard.

And that was up
to Daisy and Jesse.

Here he comes, Uncle Jesse.

In that sassy car,
just like you said.

- Tell the boys.
- Okay.

Rover Boys, come on in.

We read you loud
and clear, Tinker Bell.

Big Daddy just went bye-bye.

Alright.

- Well, how do I look?
- You look great, Jeb.

Alright, here's the cash.

Good luck. Your wheels
will be waiting outside.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Y'all think he can pull it off?

Sure, Cooter. He's
a Duke, ain't he?

Yeah, I see what you mean.

- Don't worry about a thing.
- I ain't worried about him...

but that suit's gotta be
back for a funeral by : .

Might not be a bad idea
to keep an eye on him.

Who's gonna keep an eye on us?

Come in, Beauregard.

- You ain't Beauregard.
- No, but you must be J.D. Hogg.

Daddy said you were an
imposing specimen of manhood.

I'm J.D. Hogg, alright,
but who might you be?

I'd be Beauregard's boy.

- You are?
- Yes, sir.

You sure don't look like him.

You're the first
person to noticed

Is that so?

Alright, come on in.

Tell me, just where
is your daddy?

He got called to
Atlanta, so he sent me.

I may never have met you
before but you sure do look familiar.

Daddy must have shown
you some baby pictures.

- Can we get down to business?
- Wait a minute.

No offense, but I
gotta make dead sure...

who I'm doing business with.

Where's your identification?

- I don't have any.
- You don't?

If I get caught with
stolen merchandise...

it wouldn't do for folks
to know who I was.

Yeah, that makes sense.

- You brought the money?
- Yes, sir.

Five stacks of fifty $ bills.

$ , .

No offense, sir, but the
merchandise, please.

You sure are your
daddy's boy. Alright.

- There it is.
- Yes, thank you.

- Now...
- No!

Any man insulting
my daddy's integrity...

ain't no man we
gonna do business with.

I wasn't gonna count it. I
wasn't even gonna touch it.

Lookie here, you can put it all
by yourself into my money box.

- He done it.
- Let's go get the wheels.

Alright, then.

- That concludes our business.
- Yes, sir.

Not quite, Boss.

Harry Joe! I was thinking
about the money I owe you.

- Forget it.
- No, give me that.

I sure gotta hand
it to you, Hogg...

hiding your money under
these newspaper cutouts.

Newspaper cutouts?
I've been slickered!

Dang blast it!

The rest of the money in there
belongs to widows and orphans.

My mama's a widow,
and Tiny here's an orphan.

Tie them up, and
start with Blondie here.

Blondie?

Jeb Stuart Duke! I
knew I knowed you.

Listen, Harry Joe, maybe you and
me and Tiny can make ourselves...

What are we gonna
do with this sword?

We're gonna sell it
to Beauregard Mason.

Dang it, Jeb should
be out here by now.

Unless there's
some sort of trouble.

- There is. Lets get them.
- Hold on a second.

They'll keep. Jeb might not.

Here you go, stranger. Let
me get you out of those ropes.

Thanks, Cousin. The
man knows who I am.

Boss, you're not supposed
to talk with your mouth full?

They're long gone. Let's fly.

Friend's and neighbors,
this ones got more curves...

Than a sack full
of rattle snakes.

Freeze!

- I got you, didn't I?
- Cut it, Boss.

I can't understand a word...

with that paper
sandwich in your mouth.

- You'll need this as evidence?
- Yes.

- Leave him right there, Cletus.
- Why, you slimy...

They were heading
towards Highway .

Cut across Elysee
Meadows, we can take them.

- I'll stay in your dust.
- You sure will, Cousin.

Hit it! Hit it! Hit it!

Come on, after them
Dukes! Don't waste a minute!

Come on, get moving. After them!

We'll take my car. That'll
give us the advantage.

We got Flash.

Man, what are we gonna do?
They could be on the road by now.

Don't get your
tail over the dash.

I gotta surprise or
two up my sleeve.

They're coming right at us.

No, I've got a better one.

Them Hazzard kids
must be used to this.

They hardly even stop to notice.

By the way, you ought to go
to one of their football games.

What're you doing here?

No!

Watch it!

Here they come. Get down.

Get in the car. Hurry up!

Now let's get out of here.

Dang it, they're gone already.

Boy, what a way to go.

Jeb, we've been snookered.
They weren't even in the car.

- They had another car stashed.
- Come on, let's go.

- Your helmet radio working?
- Yeah.

Watch it. They're
coming right at us!

Slow down! No!

They're gonna be across
the county line in a minute.

They gotta go past Chalk Hills.

Jeb, do you read me?

Clear as glass.

You remember the Flying Cross?

Affirmative. Where
do we make it?

We're gonna do it at Chalk
Hills. It's coming up directly.

- You come in from the north.
- Gotcha.

Luke, you ain't even sane
enough for me to call you crazy.

Me, crazy? You're driving.

Looks like this is it.

- What's that supposed to mean?
- I'm not sure.

Every time anybody gets
in a situation like this...

they say, "Looks
like this is it."

- Alright?
- Absolutely.

Tiny, look out!

I'll tell you what:

I wouldn't want to be chased in
Hazzard County at a fast walk.

Alright, come out of there.

Bo, they look to
be in one piece.

- You okay?
- I'm fine. Get out of there.

Come on out.

Get up.

After we get these two and
that sword back into town...

we'll give you
lessons on that bike.

You look a little rusty.

Harry Joe and Tiny
was behind bars...

and Boss had both Cletus
and Rosco on guard...

to make sure nobody
got in to talk to them.

Gen. Stonewall Jackson was
a big success for everyone...

excepting maybe Boss Hogg.

All the money that he
made went up in smoke...

with the car that old
Harry Joe crashed.

And he still had to
pay all the expenses...

for Stonewall Jackson Day.

Well, patriotism does
have a price, you know.

Bo and Luke said
goodbye to Cousin Jeb...

who promised that he'd
come visiting more often.

How many more strange
Dukes do you reckon there is?