03x07 - Uncle Boss

[bunniefuu]

You know what's in that little white car.

Boss' secret w*apon to
put the Dukes away for good.

His nephew, Hughie Hogg.

What's he doin' back
here in Hazzard County?

Nail them Duke boys.

They are headed
right for the trap.

Yee-haw.

Come on, you're
gonna miss all the fun.

This is as close to
heaven as I wanna get.

'Yee-haw!'

In Hazzard County, there
are some things in life

that are certain
besides death and taxes.

Dukes chasin' girls and
Rosco chasin' Dukes.

That Rosco. What do you
suppose he's chasin' us for this time?

Well, I'd wager this for doin'
in a mile-an-hour zone

seein' as how he
was switching signs

as we passed him back there.

Uh, Young Pup, this is Top Dog.
You got your ears on. Come on?

Yes, sir, Hound Dog.

It's not Hound
Dog, you dipstick.

- 'It's Top Dog.'
- Yes, sir.

Could we change
the handle, sheriff?

Every time you call me Young Pup

I don't know whether
to talk or bark.

Now, we've got those
Duke boys right between us.

So I'm coming on.

'You got that, Young Pup?'

Here comes Enos.

- You better do something, Bo.
- Hold on.

- 'Hold on, sheriff.'
- 'Get over, dipstick.'

'Let me through there.'

- Take a left.
- You got it.

Hang a right here.

Times change everywhere

but Hazzard County
is still full of surprises.

Whiskey stills.

Yee-haw.

I sure hope that still don't
belong to one of our friends.

It wasn't. That still
belongs to Boss.

You know where this stupidity
of yours is leading, don't ya?

I know, uh, I know, uh..

Well, I'm gonna have to
unleash my secret w*apon

against them Duke boys.

- What w*apon is that?
- A w*apon I've been savin'.

- Which one?
- Hopin' against hope.

When you can
do the job yourself.

- Which one is it?
- But you leave me no choice.

So... I'm calling in..

Hughie Hogg.

Sure it's pretty
county, Nephew Boss.

'Even the cars are
bright and colourful.'

Well, I'll be. Bo and Luke Duke.

Hey, let's turn their
faces red as that paint job.

- 'Alright?'
- 'Okay'

'Go ahead, boy,
and give it to 'em.'

They say that blood will tell.

And anybody who'd
pull that kind of stuff

has to be related to Boss Hogg.

That sawed off little runt.
You know, that's Hughie Hogg?

Yeah, and just as mean as
he was back in grade school.

What's he doing back
here in Hazzard County?

And now that I hear that he has
cheated his way through college

and swindled the class president
out of his phi beta kappa key.

And blackmailed the
dean into graduating him

summa cum laude

well, I've figured that
he is smart enough

to nail them Duke boys.

- Good.
- Quicker then.

Oh, Boss.

Bones and all?

Waste not, want not.

Now, are you sure it was Hughie?

It's been a long time since you
two have seen him, you know.

Well, he might've growed
a couple of new rattles

but he's still the
same old snake.

Yeah, that makes
everybody in Hazzard County

likely candidates to get bit.

Especially us.

You know, waitin' to see
what that Hughie's gonna do

is about like havin' a weasel
guardin' the henhouse.

It's unnerving.

Now, Jesse wasn't the only
one worried about Hughie.

While Rosco was waitin',
bitin' his nails outside

inside Daisy was
hostin' a bridal shower

for her best friend,
Mary Belle Digby.

- Oh, wait.
- Yeah. Open mine.

Aw... this is so pretty.
Thank you, girls.

Well, welcome.
Welcome home, Hughie.

I'm Rosco P. Coltrane.
You remember me, don't ya?

You can just call me Rosco.

You can just call
me Nephew Boss.

Now, take them bags
inside on the double.

Well, listen, I-I got it..

I just wanna say I wouldn't miss

Mary Belle's wedding
tomorrow for anything.

Especially since I'm
gonna be maid of honor.

You always did have a
way with words, Daisy.

Thanks, Hughie.

Now, quick, girls. Cover
the cream before it curdles.

Even if you couldn't spell 'em.

Yeah.

He hasn't changed.

'We figured if Jeb saw you
in this he'd never leave you.'

Hughie! Is that you?

Who else, Uncle Boss?

You sure have changed
since I've seen you last.

And you sure have turned
into some fancy dress up.

I like them duds.

Only out of admiration for the
man who made me what I am.

- Uncle Boss.
- Oh, Hughie.

You look good, you talk
good and you dress good too.

In a word, a real Hogg.

Oop!

It seems only yesterday
that you was in short pants.

Yeah, you were teaching
me how to cheat at marbles.

Well, blood is
thicker than shine.

Which is why I brought
you down here, Hughie.

To nail them, Duke boys.

I know that, Uncle Boss.

See, I figured what you need

is a whole new
approach to the problem.

- That's it.
- Yeah.

- Some modern thinking.
- Right.

What's it worth to you if I get
rid of them Duke boys in a week?

Hughie, my undying gratitude.

Yeah. Oh.

And for another thing

I'll give you % of
my entire operation.

- Fifty?
- Two percent.

- Twenty five.
- Three.

- Fifteen.
- Four.

- Ten.
- Five.

- Deal.
- Si... Hmm?

- Why did you quit?
- Uncle Boss, I don't know.

Five from you is like a
from anybody normal.

Oh. Thank you, Hughie.

Five percent. Phew.

I was nearly out
hogged by another Hogg.

- Alright, that's a deal.
- Yeah.

But you don't get a penny
until them Dukes is behind bars.

- Right?
- Deal.

Alright.

- When do you aim to start?
- I've started, Uncle Boss.

- You have?
- What time is it?

Well, it's exactly, oh..

My watch.

Is that a thing to
do to your own kin?

- Here you go, Uncle Boss.
- Alright.

Give me that.

Just keeping in
practice, Uncle Boss.

That's my Hughie.

'You know, one of these nights'

I'm goin' to unweld these doors

so... a fellow can
get in and out of it

without looking like a monkey.

Geez!

You know, cousin, I
don't know about you

but I feel mighty silly
crashing a bridal shower.

That could be because with the
exception of Daisy you've been

practically engaged to
every one of 'em girls in there..

Including the future bride.

- 'Yeah.'
- 'Yeah.'

You might say Nephew
Boss was waving bye-bye.

'Cause that signal is
the beginning of the plan

to get rid of the
Duke boys for good.

Hello, Jesse. Daisy. Too
bad you had to be here.

Now, you get to see
me arrest Bo and Luke.

- For what?
- Now, wait a minute, Rosco.

You know we didn't run
into that still this mornin'

a-and you can't prove
we were speedin'.

Which we wasn't
doin' at the time.

Who's talkin' about speedin'?
I'm not talkin' about speedin'.

I'm chargin' you
with hit-and-walk!

- 'What?'
- Hit-and-walk?

There ain't such thing, Rosco.

What do you call clobberin'
the Boss' car out front just now?

That's hit and then you walked
in here like nothin' happened.

'That's hit-and-walk.'

Rosco.

J.D.'s car wasn't anyways
near when we parked out there.

Don't you believe 'em, sheriff.

I saw the whole thing
and I'll testify in court.

Oh, Hughie, no jury
in Hazzard County

will take your word
on a stack of Bibles.

Well, I think they
will when they see

the corroborating
witness, the victim.

'Oh, he's a mess.'

It's nice of you to
come visitin' me

in my hour of pain, Jesse.

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

Ooh, this here whiplash.

- Whiplash?
- 'Killin' me.'

You weren't nowheres near
the car when we pulled in.

Wrong.

I was scrunched
down in the backseat

taking a little nap
when you clobbered me.

Now, I can't move my head nohow.

'Oh, and a condition like
that could last for years.'

- Maybe even forever.
- Forever.

Yeah, which means
when you two boys

are behind bars
I'm gonna sue you

for everything you've got!

If he's serious, where are we
gonna get the money for lawyer?

- Why, from me, of course.
- From you, of course.

Jesse, I'll give you
$ for your farm

lock, stock and barrel.

'Provided, of course, you're
out of Hazzard in hours.'

I suggest that
you take it, Jesse.

That way you can
be close to prison

so you can visit Bo and Luke.

Rosco, you got a point there.

I mean, after all,
J.D. does look..

'...pretty well
bunged up. He's..'

Stop! Thief! Get your hands out.

'Get out that cash register!'

Knaves, thieves, stop!

Nobody steals my
money in front of my face.

Well, J.D., it looks
like you've had yourself

one of them miraculous cures.

Case dismissed.

You boys still ain't learned to
give thanks for small blessings.

- Have you?
- How's that?

Well, at least now we
know why J.D. Hogg

had Hughie come in here.

- Well, why?
- Well, to get us, Dukes.

Oh, yeah!

- Don't walk on that car.
- Uh, yes, sir.

Boss' gettin' as nervous as an
alligator in a handbag factory.

So Hughie just let him cook
for a while before he told him

about the new plan
to nail ol' Bo and Luke

for parole violation.

Relax, Uncle Boss. Relax.

We're gonna get them
for grand theft auto.

- We are?
- Yeah!

See, somebody just stole my car

half an hour ago in
order to get even with me.

'Oh, sh**t.'

Half the folks in Hazzard
would like to do that.

'True, true, true'

but this time,
there's only one place

'where they're gonna
find the evidence.'

- The Duke farm.
- Exactly.

That's my Hughie.

Rosco.

Off your brains and get
out to the Duke place.

- What?
- Get out to the Duke place.

Bo and Luke just
stole Hughie's car.

'They stole your..'

'I can hardly believe that
they would do a thing like that.'

They got too many
smarts for that.

No, no, no. Look,
turkey. I took care of that.

I had Elmo steal it

hide it in their hay
pile for you to find.

'Oh, that's mean.'

'That's meaner than
a sack full of snakes.'

I'll get out there. I'll
get Enos and we'll..

I'll arrest 'em Duke boys
and put 'em behind bars

for years before
they know what hit 'em.

Yeah, you do that.

Uncle Jesse, Bo, Luke.
Come on, it's Daisy.

This is Uncle Jesse,
Daisy. Is anything wrong?

Everything's wrong.

Hughie had Elmo stash
his car in our hay pile.

'They're settin' us up for
grand theft auto, Uncle Jesse.'

Not if we can get there first.
Thanks, Daisy. We're comin'.

Ten-four.

Hold on, y'all, we're gonna fly.

'Breaker , breaker . I
might be crazy but I ain't dumb.'

'Crazy Cooter comin' at you
crackin' down old Willow Road.'

I heard Miss Daisy Duke
talkin'. Anything I can do to help?

You can help by prayin' and hope
the good Lord guides your way.

And if that don't work, you can
guide your way into our barn.

'Be there before
we do. We're gone.'

How're we gonna get to
that farm before Rosco?

He's miles
closer than we are.

By road.

- And who needs a road?
- You got it. Let's do it.

'Yee-haw!'

Well, the takeoff looks good

but I figure they're gonna
land in a heap of trouble.

Don't you?

The boys come close

but close only counts
in pitching horseshoes.

'Freeze!'

Alright, you two, just
freeze it right there.

There ain't nothin'
in this haystack.

Get over there.
Get-get-get over there.

'Don't you come
any nearer, either.'

Why would anybody
wanna come closer to you?

Because you're
criminals, that's why.

And criminals always return
to the scene of their crime.

That's what it says in my
mail order detective book.

Not that I believe
y'all are criminals, Bo.

We appreciate that, Enos.

Well, I believe it.
And this is the scene.

- 'Hold it, Rosco.'
- What?

You got a warrant to
search that there haystack?

Jesse, I'm in hot pursuit.

I don't need a warrant to
know that there's a vehicle

hidden under this haystack.

I, uh, don't know nothin'
about no hot pursuit.

But I'll tell you one thing.

Maudine there, she,
uh, she don't take kindly

to having her lunch interrupted.

Oh.

'Well, ain't that just too
tough about Maudine?'

Bu there happens to be
a vehicle under this hay

and I aim to find it.

Oh!

You-you alright, Rosco?

- Ooh. Ooh. That smarts.
- Well, of course, it smarts.

But you can't say
I didn't warn you.

If I was y'all, I'd
haul butt outta here

before Maudine really gets mad.

Bo's right, sheriff.

There ain't no stolen car there
no matter what Nephew Boss says.

We must have got a bum
steer. No-no offense, Maudine.

Oh, Enos, will you
hush? Hush. Just hush up.

Listen, we're leaving,
but I'll tell you one thing.

We're comin' back
just as often as it takes

to put you two in jail.

Come on.

I still don't get it.
Where's the dang thing?

I guess it's safe now.

- Hey.
- Cooter, when did you get here?

I got here about four and a
half minutes before y'all did.

Feast your eyes.

Ta-da.

Whoo-hoo!

Cooter, you are a prince! What
are we gonna do with this thing?

I don't know.

Well, since one good
turn deserves another..

We're just gonna rub
Hughie's nose in it.

Now, don't think Rosco was
madder than a sore-tail bear

they wasn't nothing

compared to the way
Nephew Boss was riled.

I just couldn't find that car!

What do you mean you
couldn't find the car, Rosco?

'It was hidden in
plain sight in that barn.'

Nephew Boss, I'm tellin' you

I searched every
inch of that haystack.

And I swear if that jackass
Maudine had been a goat

she ate it.

Ooh. Ooh. Ow.

Well, you can't frame
people for grand theft auto

'unless you catch 'em with
the auto they grand thefted.'

That's right.

So the question is,
where is that auto now?

- I'd s...
- Sheriff, come quick.

We got a real genuine
emergency in the booking room.

Get out of the way then.

- Ooh, ooh.
- Oh, oh, hey, oh, oh.

I found your auto.

Those dangblasted, dangnabbed,
double-crossing Dukes.

They done it to us again!

Sheriff, does this mean
we gotta arrest ourselves?

Let's get outta here
before I bust a gut laughin'.

Hughie, I'm beginning
to get a little nervous.

You underestimated
your adversary.

Those Dukes ain't dumb.

'This is the second time they
whupped you in an unfair fight.'

So they beat off a
couple of frontal assaults.

What we've gotta do now
is counterattack their flanks

when they least expect it.

I love it! I love it.

When do you plan
on flanking 'em?

What time's that wedding
where Daisy's the maid of honor?

Well, I think tomorrow at .

- I don't see how a wedding...
- 'You will, Uncle Boss.'

You will.

Alright, gentlemen,
you too, Rosco

synchronize your watches.

Uh, alright.

'H-hour begins first
thing tomorrow morning.'

Sheriff, what does H-hour mean?

It means, hush!

I'll synchronize it.

The only problem is we've
to keep our eyes peeled

for whatever trick they come
up with next to get back at us.

I'm not gonna worry
about it. Drink up. Let's go.

I'm off till lunch. I wanna pick
up my dress for the weddin'.

Ten-four.

Whoo-hoo!

Where did you
get that old truck?

Bought it off ol' E.W. Brown.

Before I go, thank you, Cooter,
for what you done yesterday.

If it weren't for you, Bo and
Luke'd be in a mess, now.

Well, Daisy let's just say
it was a small step for man

'but a giant step
for Hazzard-kind.'

Is that ol' Rosco again?

I swear, Luke, we've seen
so damn much of him today.

I think he's turned
into a pair of twins.

I can't say I'm thrilled about
seeing either one of 'em.

Yeah, me either.

Alright.

Y'all just step back here
'cause I got a warrant

to search the rear
end of this car, Daisy.

- 'Gimme the key.'
- Rosco...

Cooter, just hush.

- 'Give me the keys.'
- 'Be my guest, Rosco.'

'You ain't gonna find anythin'
except a tire as bald as Boss.'

Well, w-we'll just
see about that.

Bo, will you get out of the way?

Ooh, ooh.

Well, lookee here.

'Well, well, lookee here.'

Look at this. This one
is really bald, isn't it?

Oh, I never saw that
stuff before, Rosco.

Tell me somethin', Rosco.

How come you're framin'
Daisy and ain't framin' us?

Well, we'll see
who's framin' who.

'Alright. Alright, Daisy.'

- 'I hate to do this.'
- Can you believe that?

Now, get in the car. Come on.

Now, why would Nephew
Boss pick this time

to take pictures of Daisy?

Smells like a rat.
So y'all stick around.

Now, watch the
birdie. Say cheese.

Possum on a gum bush if
that ain't the prettiest picture.

You mind if I order
extra for my wallet?

Just as long as you get one
without these numbers on it.

Oh, boy. Wow.

I don't get it, Hughie.
I just don't get it.

Must be a breakdown
in communications.

You were supposed to put
Bo and Luke behind bars.

So how come you framed Daisy?

Just trust me, Uncle Boss.
I'm just using Daisy as bait.

J.D. Hogg..

You've done some mean,
contemptuous things in your day.

But puttin' Daisy in jail is
lower than hell's root cellar!

There ain't a jury in Hazzard
that'd put Daisy away for it.

Oh, you're right.

We haven't a prayer in the world
to make that phony charge stick.

Except Daisy's still
gonna have to stand trial

and, hmm, that could
cost a few dollars.

Yeah, yeah, so looks like
you better accept Hughie's offer

of $ for your farm,
Jesse, and clear out!

Except the offer's
gone down to $ .

I'd like to get my
hands on him just once

so I could whup
some sense into you.

Bo!

No, soon as you
lay a hand on him

he gonna get you for
as*ault and battery.

Violation of our probation.

Well, looks like we almost
had 'em, Uncle Boss.

Oh, which reminds me,
I'm due at Rockville College

'to pick up one of them
doctorates in the humanities.'

Shouldn't take no more
than three or four hours.

Well, you just do that, doctor!

Yeah.

'I'll handle things
here while you're gone.'

You know, it's amazing
how the air in here clears up

just as soon as he leaves.

Maybe to you. Not to me.

Let's go down and see
if we can cheer up Daisy.

Yeah.

'Rosco!'

Alright, Jesse, talk fast.
You've only got five minutes.

It's only gonna take me five
seconds to say what I gotta say.

Rosco, why don't you just let
her out of there and save me

the trouble of goin' to Judge
Druten and posting' bail.

Well, you just do
that, you old coot.

He'll be back from Atlanta
early Monday morning.

I love it. I love it.

Cooter, get out of the way.

Y'all... Rosco ain't lying
about old Judge Druten.

I tuned up his car right
before he took off for Atlanta.

Oh, great! It's gonna be one
heck of a wedding with Daisy

'stuck in this dang
jail cell all weekend.'

The only way I'm
gonna be maid of honor

is if Jeb and Mary Belle
decide to get hitched

'in this old jailhouse.'

Now, that ain't necessarily so.

The Duke word of honor
ain't never been broken.

I don't see reason to start now.

Well, maybe you
need glasses, Luke.

There's a bunch of
reasons in front of you.

'Even Hughie
admits it's a bum rap.'

So instead of waiting for
Judge Druten let's do it now.

Now-now, wait a minute.

You-you're talking
about busting her out?

And busting her right
back in after the wedding.

The whole sh**t' match
shouldn't take more than..

A couple hours.

It might work. I mean, providin'
nobody knows she's missin'.

The way I figure it, Boss is too
lazy to come down here himself.

Hughie's over in Rockville
for three-four hours at least.

Feeding time's not till .
Nobody's gonna notice till then.

Now, wait a minute, Daisy.

Luke, you're forgetting about
one real important thing. Rosco.

'How you suppose you
gonna get around him?'

- I ain't. You are.
- What?

Well, with a little help from
the rest of us, of course.

Yeah.

Yeah.

'You can go back now,
Elmo. I think they took the bait.'

Now, it ain't too often

that you get a picture
of a worm turning.

But then this worm is a snake.

I sure hope I ain't being
too hard on that boy.

Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane here.

Now, sheriff, get
this and get it straight

because I'm only
going to say it once.

Say what? Who is this?

This is a concerned
anonymous informer.

Now, what I want to tell you is

that the Duke boys
are loading shine.

Right across the street
from you at this very minute.

I got 'em.

This time I really got 'em

with both hands
in the cookie jar.

I love it. I love it.

There's the signal.
Come on, let's go.

I got you. This time I got you.

Quit that. Quit it.

What did I tell y'all?

While Luke was playin'
his part in the scheme

to get Daisy to the weddin'

ol' Bo was starring in a part
that he didn't even know about.

- Bo.
- Shh.

- Reckon we leave a note?
- Sure.

While Bo was rushin'
Daisy to the weddin'

Luke and Cooter was
doin' everything they could

not to lose ol' Rosco
for the next two hours.

Which meant everybody
was keepin' busy

includin' Nephew Boss.

Hughie, just what
are you up to, boy?

First you bust your butt
to get Daisy arrested.

Then you set up every
inch of her escape.

Why, I just don't
understand what you're doing.

We're only on step number four.

I'll show you step number five

just as soon as I
can piece it together.

I reckon Rosco's time
has just about run out.

Hang on to your hat,
Cootarus, here we go.

'Well, there goes Rosco.
Sure hope he don't get lost.'

Y'all don't do
nothing I wouldn't do.

Woah! Was that a long wedding!

I thought they'd have
their first anniversary

before that
preacher got through.

We better get you
back to that jailhouse

before we all wind
up in there with you.

I was right behind 'em Duke
boys and all of a sudden I lost 'em.

They disappeared.

You mean you drove right by
'em without seeing 'em, don't you?

Because you can't tell grits
from gumdrops, can you?

Well, yes, the grits
are the whites with...

You won't have to worry
much longer, sheriff.

Why don't you have a
seat and watch the show?

What show?

Well, I've got a
presentation here

that I know you're
gonna like, Uncle Boss.

Hey! Popcorn?

Can't enjoy the
show without popcorn.

- Well, thank you.
- I appreciate that.

- Good. That'll be a quarter.
- Take care of it, Rosco.

Thank you so much, Rosco.

Say, I know a TV
set when I see one

but what's that funny-looking
contraption over there?

It's a videotape playback.

I won it in a poker
game last month.

I ain't never seen
anything like that.

Well, I'm not surprised.

Little too modern
for you, Rosco.

But then it's because
of your antique thinkin'

that you've never
nailed the Dukes.

Leave the Rosco insults to
me and get on with the TV show.

- Yeah, just get on with it.
- 'Alright.'

I reckon about now
we're ready to see

what old slimy
Hughie's come up with.

"Hughie Hogg presents a
Hughie Hogg Production.

"Entitled The
Demise Of The Dukes.

Written, produced,
directed and edited"

by none other than
me, Hughie Hogg.

Here we go.

"'That's our leading
lady there, Daisy Duke.'

"The reason she's behind
bars is because of this evidence

"provin' she was runnin' shine.

Rosco, get outta there.

Boss, get your cabbage
collectors out of mine.

"Oh, yes, and here's
our ever-vigilant sheriff

"who's supposed to be
watching the prisoner.

"It almost looks as if the
Dukes paid him to leave

"the cell unguarded.

Dang, Rosco!

Get some table manners
or go eat in the gents' room.

- I'm sorry about that..
- Oh, leave me alone.

'"Well, now..'

'"...see, with the
sheriff sleepin'

'"it was easy for Bo to grab
the keys and let Daisy out.'

"But there was one
thing standing in their way.

'"That fearless
protector of the people'

"County Commissioner, J.D. Hogg!

Yay!

That's you.

'"Why, the rest was easy.'

'"Up to the roof,
jumpin' the next buildin'

'"slidin' down the fire
escape with Rosco's snorin'

'"even drownin' out
the sound of the engine.'

"And away they go!

"To run off with Bo Duke

leavin' poor Uncle Jesse
behind to sell the farm to me."

For $ !

Oh, oh, that's beautiful.
That's just beautiful.

I love happy endings.

Which brings us
to step number six.

When I show this
videotape to the police

at the state capital

that jailbreak will prove

that the Dukes
committed a felony.

A felony!

You did it, Hughie! Just
like you said you would!

You finally found the perfect
way to nail them Dukes

and revoke their probation.

Well, wait, wait just a
second here gentlemen now.

I mean, if he takes that
tape to the state police

it'll make me look
just like a, uh...

- A prize idiot?
- Prize id... No.

I tell you what, Rosco,
how about a prize dipstick?

Yes, dipst..

That's my Hughie!

- Hey, buddy.
- Whoo-hoo!

We're a little behind schedule.
Where do you suppose Rosco is?

Oh, no sweat.

He's probably still wandering
around somewhere in the boonies.

- Let's hit it.
- You got it.

Alright. Freeze!

Just... freeze it. Freeze it.

'Now, listen, you don't
watch your horsin' around'

I won't hesitate to
use this w*apon.

If I was y'all, I'd stick
around for the comeuppance.

Can't you see we're getting out?

Get out.

Rosco, I can't believe you
could sink so low as to try

and put me back in jail.

Well, I wouldn't, but I
will if it'll keep me out.

Sheriff says you've been framed.

Hughie Hogg took TV pictures

of every foot and
jump of that jailbreak.

That's right, and then he took
that tape and he's gonna give it

to the state police, so
they revoke your parole.

So that's why Hughie planted
that moonshine in Daisy's car.

He knew we wouldn't
stand for leavin' her in jail.

It looks like Hughie Hogg's
learned some new tricks

up there at state college.

You know what I'm gonna do
after I show this video cassette

to the state police?

No, what?

I'm gonna lower the offer
on Jesse Duke's farm to $ .

Yeah!

Looks like y'all been
burned but good.

- Well, he burned me, too.
- How's that?

Well, made it look
like that y'all bribed me

to sneak a snooze
while you escaped.

That made me an
accessory before the fact.

'Isn't this gonna
be nice and cozy?'

All of us in the same
jail, fussin' and feudin'.

Well, Daisy, now you
know all that other stuff

that was not personal.

Now, what we gotta do now
is, we've gotta quit fighting

among ourselves and join
forces and fight a common enemy.

Now, let me get
this straight, Rosco.

You want us Dukes
to join up with you?

Yeah.

Just temporarily, not permanent.

Just till we get those
tapes away from Hughie.

- Yeah.
- Oh, that ain't gonna be easy.

That was in a briefcase
chained to Hughie's wrist.

He and Uncle Hogg lit out for
capital city a few minutes ago.

- It was chained to his wrist?
- Yep.

How're we gonna
get it away from him?

We don't have to get it away
from him. There's one other way.

If we can degauss it.

- De-what it?
- Degauss it.

I-It's a technical term.

It means putting it
through a magnetic field

strong enough to erase it.

Kinda like erasing
a blackboard, see?

And there's only one
place in Hazzard County

with a magnet strong enough...

And I'm gone.

They got a passel of
fields in Hazzard County.

Corn fields, cotton
fields, tobacco fields.

And they even got
one magnetic field.

Luke's game plan
was to herd old Hughie

right smack dab
in the middle of it.

H-How come your own
deputy's trying to catch us?

I don't know unless
he's lost his mind.

And we ain't stopping
to check it out.

Come on, Elmo, get moving.

Elmo, Elmo, turn left.

We can pick up the state
highway again just down the road.

I reckon we'd
better get after 'em.

Just in case Enos decides
to get over-rambunctious.

That crazy dipstick
is still after us.

We gotta shake him.
T-Try the creek bed.

'Yeah, try the creek bed.'

So far, Luke's game plan
was right on schedule.

Only now it's time for Boss
and Hughie to come to bat.

I reckon that makes
a score Hughie one

and the Dukes nothing.

You know, Uncle Boss, I
almost feel sorry for that yokel.

Well, I don't.

We can't cross here. If we
do, we'll cave in on top of Enos.

We best stay on this side until
we find a better place to cross.

Rosco, this here's
Luke. Now, listen up.

Hughie and Boss are headed
North on your side of Boone Creek.

'We're gonna have to turn 'em
into Seminole Canyon. Got that?'

That's a big - , Luke.

I see 'em coming.

They are as good as
headed out that way

and I mean right now.

I'm gone.

Now, the sheriff's
tryin' stop us.

What? He must've
lost his mind, too.

What there is of it.
Well, that settles it.

I'm gonna get me a
whole new police force

for Hazzard County
and a modern one too.

Now, it's two to nothing,
against the Dukes.

Daisy, you best
go pick up Rosco.

I figure he'll be
waiting about half way

'down the gully on
the Tolliver place.'

- Will do, Luke. How's it goin'?
- Well, that's hard to say.

But if we don't get him turned
into Seminole Canyon quick

it could all be over.

Hey, we got it made
now, Uncle Boss.

This level highway's
straight to the state capital.

- Once we pass the crossroads.
- Not once, you mean if. Look!

Hey, Rosco. Come on,
you're gonna miss all the fun.

Come on.

'Rosco!'

'Get out of there.'

Calling Rosco's
raiders. Rosco's raiders

We can quit playin' cat
and mouse with 'em rats.

They are headed
right for the trap.

Yee-hoo!

Glad to hear it, Uncle
Jesse. We're right behind you.

Y'all remember that magnetic
field we was talking about?

Well, there she is.

A whole ton of her
on the end that wire.

sh**t' fire, I
couldn't hit the rear end

of a bull with a mop.

Dang! My suit sure
don't need no presssin'.

Let's get out of here.

'I Got the exit blocked.'

'That's a - , Uncle Jesse.'

'Daisy, take the
West end of the yard.'

'You got it, Luke.'

'There's old Cooter sittin'
up there in the catbird seat.'

'There they go, Daisy.'

Now, he's got 'em. Over there.

Just like sh**ting
fish in a barrel.

Ah! let's get out.

- We're goin' up.
- Help! Help! Put me down.

'Oh, come on. Oh,
come on, you don't..'

A giant white yo-yo.

Yee-haw!

'We'll be alright. We'll
be alright, I hope.'

I sure hope ol' Elmo's
got a pilot's license.

- 'Help! Put me down!'
- 'Put us down!'

This is as close to
heaven as I wanna get.

Nice going, Cooter.

You got it flying
just like a little angel.

H-h-help!

Can't you make 'em
stop, Uncle Boss?

I thought you were
supposed to stop 'em.

'Oh, watch that, it's
connected with your hand.'

Yeah!

'Hughie, come back!'

'Did you get it?'

Come back, Hughie. Hughie.

Well, I think that
ought to do it.

We're coming down.
We're coming down.

It's electromagnetic. Uh-oh!

Whoo! Look out below.

Let's get out of
here. Come on now.

I have it. I got it.

Easy, Rosco.

You're still with us, Rosco.

Will you get your
pea-pickin' hands off of me?

You oughtn't to be helpin' me.

You ought to be goin' after
them and get that evidence.

Rosco, it'll be a waste of
time. Don't you remember?

Old Hughie just took
care of that for us.

- Remember magnets?
- Magnets?

Ooh! Ooh!

At the State police, ol'
Boss was cock of the walk.

He figured he was
gonna nail the Dukes.

Just like Luke planned

that electromagnet
in the junkyard

did more than wipe
out the videotape.

It turned two Hoggs
into plucked chickens.

Boss wasn't too delicate about
suggesting nephew Hughie

go back to school.

Because against the Dukes
he was way out his of class.

And now that his
own neck was safe

ol' Rosco didn't lose no
time in breakin' the truce

and writin' the Dukes a ticket.

Which is just about up
to par for Hazzard County.