03x06 - The Late J.D. Hogg

[bunniefuu]

If you spot General Lee
tearing through Hazzard

not being chased by
something, check your calendar.

It's probably the
first of the month

and the mortgage
is due to Boss Hogg.

Boss don't own
every farm in Hazzard.

But the ones he don't own
wouldn't support a rabbit.

We got plenty of time.

Bank don't close for
another couple of hours.

I'm not gonna rest easy until
the money we got for that heifer

is in J.D. Hogg's
sweaty little hand.

I don't blame you at all.

We've been late for the
last few mortgage payments.

Yeah, but we always made it.

J.D. still don't caught, their
waiting for Duke money.

Stay, Flash, stay.

'I know you're eager.'

Them Duke boys.

They'll be coming by
here just any moment now.

I can feel it in my bones.

I just can't wait to get..

We'll get them just
like Boss told us to.

- Rosco.
- Don't fret now, Uncle Jesse.

Rosco ain't caught us
in a month of Sundays.

- But this here is Wednesday.
- Alright, hang on.

Dang it, we lost the trailer.

That smarts.

Jumping Jehoshaphat.

I'm gonna..

Mabel, are you there?

Mabel here.

'Hello, Mabel there.
This is Rosco here.'

Listen, would you patch me
through to Doc Carney's office?

I wanna talk to the boss.

Won't get the results..

The Boss gets a physical
every year to ensure a long life.

But, since the good die young

most folks figure old Boss
is just wasting his money.

Just a moment, please.
Mr. Hogg, it's for you.

Who knows I'm here, anyhow?

Hello, J.D. Hogg speaking.

Old Flash don't like the look,
the smell or the sound of Boss.

Boss, that was just Flash.

He was just wanting to
know if your little fat body

was in the pink of
condition, that's all.

It's pink enough to kick you
up and down Hazzard County

unless you got good news for me.

Well, that is a little negatory.

Rosco, I finally got me a chance

to foreclose on Jesse
Duke's farm all legal-like..

And now you're gonna tell
me you blew it for me, right?

Don't get your fat
feathers all fluffed up.

Listen if Jesse Duke shows
his face in my bank today

before : closing time

I'm going to deposit you
on the unemployment line

tomorrow at : .

Listen, I do have a Plan B,
which is a backup plan, Boss.

And Cletus knows
just what to do.

You're blocking the road. Would
you get out of the dang way?

'What's this all
about, anyways'?

Hi. Sorry about this,
boys, but I had to stop you..

In order to give you a
motor vehicle inspection.

- What?
- What for?

We're in a big hurry. Couldn't
you catch us on the way back?

- Sorry Bo, Luke, Uncle Jesse...
- I ain't your Uncle Jesse.

Sorry about that, too.

Rosco said I had to
stop each and every car

especially yours, and give
you a complete safety check.

If y'all would kindly step
out of the car, I'll get started.

I ain't getting out.

Now, you wanna inspect
this, you inspect it with me in it.

All yours, Cletus.

Take it away.

Alright.

Over at the Hazzard Post Office

these two ugly things
were hanging out.

And are fixing to
do some mischief.

Now, you're gonna
see more of them later

whether you want to or not.

In a couple of hours
we'll have our hands

on over $ , worth
of social security checks.

Thanks to the post
office shipping through

this jerkwater town.

Come on. We still got some
last minute details to take care of.

And that, friends, tells
you what they're about.

The Dukes are about to lose
the farm, thanks to Cletus.

Cletus, it's
minutes till : .

I gotta get to town.

I can't help it. Rosco said for
me to hold y'all here till :

'and I'm almost out of tests.'

Let me see. Headlights,
bumper, windshield wiper..

You forgot to check
under the hood, didn't you?

Dadgum. How could I miss that?

I don't know. Why don't
you open the hood?

Give me the keys.

I'll start the engine
so you know it's there.

- Guys are being good sports.
- Aren't we?

Here you go.

- Where's the dipstick?
- You're under the hood.

I'm not finished yet!

Wait a minute,
transmission's the next test.

Flapjack on a Ferris wheel.

Dang Dukes done
did it to me again.

'Calling Sheriff Coltrane.'

Them Dukes are getting
away ahead of time.

sh**t out their
tires, you dipstick!

I would, Sheriff.

But I used up all my live a*mo
yesterday at target practice.

If you let them Duke boys escape

I'm gonna use you for
target practice tomorrow.

What do you want me to do?

Cut 'em off at the end of
Hazzard, I'll take this end.

'We can't let them get
to that bank before : .'

Roger.

Flash, everybody's a dipstick,
except you and me, I guess.

I'm just sick of it!

Just sick of you.

Flash!

Put your paw on the brake!

'Get your foot on the brake!'

You're gonna crush me!

Flash, it's gonna hit the tree!

You alright, Flash?

You done scuffed my vehicle.

You are a lousy driver.

At least you're
wearing your seatbelt.

Turn out the lights, will you?

Time was flying, and
so was General Lee.

And Cletus.

And Rosco.

And Boss Hogg.

- J.D., you...
- Jesse Duke..

It is my official
duty as owner...

of this here duly-sanctioned
and government-chartered bank

to inform you that you
are late for the third time

this calendar year in the making

of your regular scheduled
mortgage payment.

You could just wind
down to a breeze

because I'm here
to make the payment.

According to this here
Chapter , Section

Paragraph B of this
here Federal Bank Code

you have already
automatically forfeited your land

and all real property and
improvements thereupon!

I got the money right here.
See, there's the money.

- The bank is closed.
- It ain't : yet, J.D.

Yes, it is. Right here
on my personal watch.

Just like this is
my personal bank!

But, J.D., you gotta let..

Open this door.
J.D., open this..

Uncle Jesse, you alright?

- Rosco!
- What?

Did you see that? You and
Cletus are my witnesses!

The Dukes just
broke into my bank!

- Just get on out!
- Wait a minute.

Get off!

I'm going.

That's it, you get them!

HAZZARD POLICE

I'm sorry to have
to tell y'all this

'but Cousin Boss' bank's a
certified member of the FTBC"

What's that?

Federal Trade and
Banking Commission.

What's that supposed to mean?

Breaking into it is not only
a Hazzard County offence

but it's also a federal one.

Well, boys, that tears it.

Boss, with all his
technical mumbo jumbo

owns our home place
lock, stock, and Maudine.

I did a little bit,
too, didn't I?

I ought to get
something out of it.

You will. Your usual cut.

- - .
- - .

- Money ain't everything.
- I don't want everything.

I want a lot of something.

Like some money when
you sell the Duke farm.

- When I sell it, you'll get it!
- Good news! I love it!

- J.D. Hogg here.
- J.D., Doc Carney here.

I just got back the
results of your tests.

Listen, Doc, I ain't
giving up nothing.

I never felt better in my life.

You look good,
you little rascal.

We've known each
other for a long time.

This is the most difficult
thing I've ever had to do.

That's a good one.
A doctor apologizing

for the bill he sends.

This is serious, J.D.

According to the
results of your test

There ain't no way
to soften the blow.

I'm afraid you only got
a couple of weeks to live.

What's that?

Just two weeks, J.D.

You gotta hang it up. This is
a business phone, you know.

If you don't hang it up, I can't
get them emergency calls.

Friends and neighbors,
I think we're about to see

the only man that ever figured
out a way to take it with him.

Boss, you look like
you just saw a ghost.

I did. Mine.

Your chubby little
jowls are a little peaked.

Are you feeling alright?

I was, till I got that
there phone call.

- Who was that?
- Doc Carney.

What did he say?

My days are numbered.

I got just two weeks.

And then I become
the late J.D. Hogg.

Resting in peace.

See, that's what's wrong.

You've been working too hard
and you should rest in peace.

Did you say, "Rest in peace"?

Like in... dying?

Now, sweet Daisy just got word
about the Dukes being jailed.

Boss, you're really gonna
get a piece of my mind now.

She's even prettier
when she's mad, ain't she?

- Not a word of this to nobody.
- Nobody.

Especially that loudmouth
sister of yours, my wife, Lulu.

Especially her.

- Till..
- What?

The time comes.

Boss, what did the Doc say
your condition was, exactly?

- Something very terrible.
- It has to, to be so fatal.

- It ain't catching?
- He didn't say.

'Boss Hogg!'

You stole my Uncle Jesse's farm.

Your judgment day is gonna come.

And you're gonna have to answer
for everything you've done here.

And you know what? I
hope you got fire insurance

'cause you're gonna
need it where you're going.

I never heard anybody ever
say anything as nasty as that

to a man in your condition.

I ain't worried about
what she's saying.

I'm worried about what
St. Peter is gonna say

when I start knocking
on them Pearly Gates.

You don't have to worry
what he's gonna say...

'cause you'll be going
the other direction.

- What I meant was...
- I know what you meant.

- Just like I know what she did.
- I know what she meant...

All I can say is that
whatever I done in the past

whatever I had to do

it was all for the sake of
my beloved Hazzard County.

And if I did stoop a little low

or stepped on some folks' toes

it ain't too late, is it?

No, it ain't never too late.

Late for what?

I mean, I've gotta make
amends for the errors of my ways.

I gotta find peace with my
Maker by doing some good deeds.

That's... like what?

First of all, you go get them
keys over there to the sales

downstairs and go release
'em Dukes right now.

Good news.

Alright, you Dukes.

Come on out of there.
You are free, free to go.

But, before you go, here
are some ice-cold drinks

courtesy of Boss Hogg.

- Did you hear that?
- I heard it, don't believe it.

That ain't all.

Boss has cancelled all your
back due bills from the Boars Nest.

He's given me orders to take
the General Lee out of impound.

- How's that grab you?
- It don't.

Now, Rosco, what's
J.D. really up to?

He has just had
a change of heart.

Come on, you gotta have a
heart to be able to change one.

Everyone knows Boss would
steal a dead fly off a blind spider.

'Cause a skunk's playing possum,
it don't change it's smell none.

Come on, boys. Let's
go shake some trees

and find out what he's got up
his sleeve beside a crooked arm.

Thanks, Rosco.

Alright, J.D.

You have us thrown in jail and
then you take away our farm.

Now, you're having us put
out of jail and brought over here.

'Now what in
tarnation is going on?'

Alright, I'll tell you
what's going on.

I just finished signing
these here papers

before mailing them off
to be recorded in Atlanta.

This one, Jesse,
gives you full title

'lock, stock and
barrel, to your farm.'

You can't mean that?

'And this one gives Bo
and Luke a full pardon'

for all traffic violations.

Are you kidding?

And this here one gives
my selfish center parking lot

to the Hazzard
County Little League.

And then this here one
gives to the County Orphanage

and all the poor
widows in Hazzard

the net gain of Hogg
Enterprises, Inc.

Now, how do you
like them crab apples?

Them apples.

County Orphanage and all
the poor widows of Hazzard

is going to get took. Now, how?

Wait a minute.

I'll admit that the
Boss here has not been

the straightest
sh**t in the County.

After all, he is a
little, fat human.

May he rest in peace,
and I'm gonna miss him.

- Keep your mouth shut.
- No, you hush.

I'm serious, this time you hush,
because I wouldn't ordinarily..

Listen, Boss. It's only
right that these folks know

what's gonna happen to you

so that they can give you
the respect you deserve.

Rosco, what in the world are
you running off at the mouth about?

Trying to tell you, the Boss
is not long for this world.

'And all these good
deeds that he's doing'

he hopes will not go
unnoticed by us down here

and upstairs.

Is that true, J.D.?

He's a goner.

They're gonna plant
him with the spring crops.

Is it really true?

Yeah, Jesse, it's true.

Now, y'all got to remember
that old Jesse and J.D. started out

driving moonshine
together during Prohibition.

Funny how you usually only
remember the good times

if they're good enough.

Somebody stop them, will you?

Charlie, you're gonna
get yourself k*lled.

Luke! Bo! Two guys
just stole my car.

Stay out of the
street. We'll get them.

Well, as Bo and Luke
started chasing them crooks..

Another chase
was about to begin.

You're positive?

How could you make
a mistake like that?

Dang.

That report we got on
Boss Hogg was wrong.

Somebody named Boggs
over in Hamiltonville.

Boss is about as
healthy as you can be.

Better get on that phone.
We gotta reach him right away.

That ain't gonna matter.

'Cause when old Boss
realizes what he's given away

that'll k*ll him.

You gonna tailgate him
or you gonna catch him?

I just got here. I ain't
made up my mind yet.

They ain't cops. Who
do you figure they are?

Why don't you sh**t first and
save your questions for later?

Good idea.

They ain't supposed to do that.

Keep it on the road, Bo.

Looks like we got them now.

Hang on.

Looks like Bo and Luke
may see the Pearly Gates

before old Boss does.

While Bo and Luke were
sort of hanging around

and Doc's office was
still hunting Boss' haunts

to give Boss the good news

the bad news was the two
uglies were moving along

with their plans
for the big robbery.

- Those were the good old days.
- Yeah.

Fussing and feuding, each
of us trying to outdo the other.

Speaking of days, I
sure ain't got many left.

- Anything I can do to help?
- That's mighty nice of you.

Matter of fact, there is.

I sure could use some company
while I go visit a lot of people

for whom I wanna
do some good deeds.

- I'd be glad to help.
- That's nice.

And another thing.

I need some help with
my final arrangements.

Nothing elaborate, mind you.

Just a couple hundred
words carved on my tombstone

about all that I've done
for Hazzard County.

Don't think there's a
piece of marble that big

in Hazzard County.

Then we could use two or
three of them. Couldn't we?

Never thought of that.

Mustn't forget to
take these envelopes.

Got to mail them to the
Hall of Records in Atlanta.

Any luck?

No answer, Doctor.

I tried Mr. Hogg's house,
his office at the bank

even his private number
at the Sheriff's office.

Keep trying all over Hazzard.
He'll be out there somewhere.

There's no telling how that
poor man must be suffering.

This is gonna be some day!

Oh, my, oh, my.

What a sweet little girl, you
are. Bless you, honey child.

Here, now. That's for you

to buy yourself some pralines.

On second thought, here,
buy her a whole praline factory.

Come on Jesse. That's quite
a dog you got there, sonny.

Alex, I'm gonna drive, so you
go on and take the whole day off.

On second thought,
take the whole year off.

- At full pay.
- Thank you very much, Boss.

That's another one.

Someone's trying to
get you on the CB, J.D.

Probably just
another business call.

And I've had my fill of
wheeling and dealing.

That's what I think of business.

From now on, I'm
gonna live till I die!

Now, what do you reckon
them two old boys are up to?

Bet you never thought you'd
see the day when I'd be doing

a thing like this.

Only over your dead body.

You know what I mean.

I do. I'm learning
to live with it.

Here, go ahead. It's your
farm. You do the honors.

Well, here they go.

What are you two up to?

Your Uncle Jesse's volunteered
to help me do some good deeds

and then help with
my final arrangements.

'I figured it was the least
I could do, seeing as how'

'you know the situation.'

And since Boss just mailed
off half of his fortune right there.

Yeah.

Beers on the house
at the Boars Nest.

'Help yourselves.'

Tell the whole County
to help themselves!

Mighty kind of you.

- We'll catch up with you later.
- Thanks a lot, Boss.

He might've been a pretty
nice guy if he'd have lived.

Boars Nest, Daisy speaking.

Daisy, Doc Carney wants
Boss Hogg. It's an emergency.

Dr. Carney, it's Daisy.

You gotta find Boss Hogg
right away. He's not dying.

'You sure?'

No question about it. That
laboratory report was wrong.

Okay. Bye-bye.

You alright?

Yeah, I'm alright
and so is Boss.

There's been a mistake.
Boss Hogg ain't gonna die.

- Great news.
- Alright!

- So he ain't gonna croak?
- But Boss don't know that yet.

We'd better find him right
quick and enlighten him.

- He'd like to know that.
- Bye-bye.

Everybody, free
drinks on the house.

While Daisy was giving
away drinks at the Boars Nest

Boss was at the County Orphanage

trying to buy his
way into Heaven.

I've arranged to turn over
the house and the grounds

to you good folks,
lock, stock and barrel

at absolutely no cost to y'all.

If Boss don't get the word soon,

he's liable to shock
some folks to death..

Doing good.

Bo Duke calling Rosco's little
fat buddy. Got your ears on?

Bo Duke calling Boss
Hogg. Please come in.

Couldn't take it, huh?

There are just some shocks
the human system can't take.

Did you hear that one, up there?
That's another one for old J.D.

Alright, Jesse. Say
here, have a cigar!

Oh, well, thank you, J.D.

Dang it. He ain't in his car.

That there is a $ bill.

Who cares? I got money to burn.

Dang it. He ain't
listening to his radio.

I sure hope nothing
happened to him.

With him walking around
thinking he's a dying man

he might get himself hurt.
We better find him fast.

'Cooter, you got your ears on?'

That's a king-size
- , good buddies.

I'm still kind of negativo

on spotting Boss
Hogg or Uncle Jesse.

But I'll just keep on
keeping on. And I'm gone.

This here is Crazy
Cooter coming at you.

Boss Hogg just came by me

looking like the Orange
Blossom Special.

He was moving, and he's
headed your way. I'm gone.

Alright, hang on.

It's Bo and Luke. Think they're
trying to get your attention.

I've spent time chasing them.
Let them chase me for a while.

Hang on, Jesse.

'I'm gonna show them boys
what it is to go hog-wild.'

You get it, "hog-wild"?

Slow down. You're
gonna get us both k*lled.

So what? I gotta go
soon anyways, don't I?

With all due respect

I ain't ready to make
the trip with you.

Dang it, they ain't stopping.

Why don't we cut him off on
the other side of the Corners?

You got it.

- J.D. there's a...
- 'I see 'em. Dang, slowpoke.'

J.D., honk!

Friends, I think
we're fixed to see

if these two old-time Ridge
Runners can still cut it.

They can cut it.

- You alright?
- Yeah.

I sure gave you boys a
run for your money, didn't I?

You could've got us all
k*lled for no dang reason.

I only got a short time left...

Hold on, Boss, that's the point.

You ain't just got a short
time to live. Doc Carney called.

There was a misunderstanding,
you ain't gonna die after all.

- J.D.'s gonna live?
- That's right.

I ain't gonna die?

You boys shucking and jiving me?

No. Daisy got the call herself.

'Doc says you're just
as healthy as all of us.'

The doc..

He did? He did!

Glory be. You're gonna live!

- I ain't gonna die!
- No!

Hallelujah!

'Ain't life beautiful?'

It's a great day for us.

Everything's gonna
go on, just like it was.

What a day. We
got our farm back.

Luke and me can
keep the General.

'And the Orphanage
owns its own land now.'

'And the Little Leaguers
get the parking lot.'

Yeah. I gave all them
things away, didn't I?

All of them letters I sent off.

Excuse me, I've got a lot of
temporary changes to unmake.

Ain't it a shame we can't all
be as good while we're living

as we can when
we think we're dying?

It's good. The
Boss is gonna live.

If he gets them letters
back, we're dead.

We're gonna be off
the farm and back in jail.

Better make sure
that mail gets through.

- Come on, Uncle Jesse.
- Here we go.

Didn't I tell you
that 'em nasty dudes

would show up in our story?

You see, them letters giving
the Dukes back their farm

is in that mail truck.

And right now, they
got it, and he ain't.

And they ain't.

Back at the courthouse,
old Rosco's working two rows

at a time practicing
for the good life.

Rosco, did you hear
about the good news?

Good news? Naughty.

Now you Dukes, I know
you don't like the Boss.

But calling his demise
"good news," that is naughty.

I mean the good news
that Boss ain't gonna die.

He ain't gonna die?

But the Doc over at
the thing, he said...

It was all a mistake.

- Mistake?
- Yes.

Did you hear that, Flash?
The Boss ain't gonna die.

He don't like the Boss.

Goodness, look at you
there. What happened to you?

Let me help you. Come on, now.

You're heavy, ain't you?

Pay attention, 'cause I
ain't gonna say this but once.

Now, first, Boss was
hoping to stop the mail truck

but the mail truck was stolen.

If he'd just stopped to
think, they could've let

them thieves get away

and the letters would
never have been delivered.

But he didn't stop to think.

Second, the Dukes didn't know
that the mail truck was stolen

or they'd have got it back.

I'm not sure where
this leaves us

except I think everybody's
after that mail truck.

Boss, we heard the good
news! You're gonna live.

You call this living?

Get your cotton-picking
little hands off my cigar!

I was just celebrating
your resurrection.

Celebrate on your own time.

Get out there on the double

find today's mail truck.
Stop it and confiscate it.

Cousin Boss, you
can't stop the U.S. Mail.

When it ain't in the hands
of the U.S. of A. government.

- It ain't?
- 'Some crooks done stole it.'

Then I'd better call the FBI.

What?

You see that little
lump on your neck?

'It's your head. Use it!'

I don't want no FBI
recovering no mail.

My good-deed letters gave
Dukes back all their property

and everybody else
everything I gave them.

I don't have to get into
Heaven by paying no more

I sure don't want
that mail delivered.

You mean to tell me you're not
giving anything back to anybody?

Not a stitch.

I did get some
practice in, didn't I?

Let's just call it a good
dry run. Now, get going.

Cletus, I want you to search
every inch of County Seven

clear over to Beaver Fork.

And I'll take Route over
to the Old Mill Crossing.

'Don't you forget that, Cletus.'

Bad news. The mail
truck left minutes ago.

You can bet Boss is out there

turning everything
upside down looking for it.

Why don't you go down
and get Daisy and the jeep?

We're gonna need help stopping
Boss from stopping that mail.

We'll try to catch up with you.

The postman said he didn't know
which route the truck's taking?

He said they change that
schedule so much lately

he don't know whether
he's coming or going.

Cletus, you should be
protecting us, not trying to k*ll us.

What are you doing?

I've got some urgent official
business in County Seven.

- Meeting Boss, huh?
- No.

He's headed out
on with Rosco.

Thanks, Cletus. That's
all we need to know.

'This is Lost Sheep to
Shepherd, come back.'

This is Shepherd, come on.

We've got Boss heading
out on Highway .

We're gonna cut in
across Moss Creek.

You better join in
around Morgan's Meadow.

Like a cow to
it's saltlick. Over.

Hello.

'Billy Bob, you happen to
see the mail truck go by here?'

- No.
- What seems to be the problem?

I don't know. There's something
wrong with my rear end.

I'll have a look for you.

Billy Bob, stop me!

Look out now!

- This the fastest you can go?
- It's not my fault.

It's the fuel pump. It's one of
those good deals that you got.

I never meant for you to put
them on our own vehicles, dodo.

- There they are.
- I see them.

It sure went real smooth.

I figure we got over $ ,

in social security
checks back there.

Not to mention
the sheriff's car.

Shepherd, you got your ears on?

You got something
to say, say it.

We figured we'd
give Boss and Rosco

a little heavy traffic.

Like Main Street,
Saturday night?

Don't you know it?

You did it!

'Alright. What you
waiting for? Go!'

Somebody just
rode shotgun for us.

Don't ask me why,
just keep going.

Poor old Dukes.

They don't know that by
helping them mail thieves

they're cooking their own
goose and helping Boss Hogg.

Boss don't know it, either.

We sure clipped Boss' tail
feathers that time, didn't we?

I'll say.

'Calling Sheriff
Rosco Coltrane.'

'No sign of that stolen mail
truck up my way, Sheriff.'

You don't think we helped
that mail truck get away, do you?

We might've just helped
it disappear forever.

Let's get out of here.

So, the mail thieves
made a transfer

into old Charlie Watkins' car.

And the Dukes'
farm went with it.

- Look out.
- There they are!

- You did it again!
- It's my vehicle. I'm sorry.

Lost Sheep to Shepherd.
Any sign of them?

Not a thing moving on this road.

Charlie Watkins' car
just went by, that's all.

Charlie Watkins? You don't
think it's the same two crooks?

Can't afford to
take any chances.

Uncle Jesse, it might be them.
They might've changed vehicles.

Let's get after them.

'We got company again.'

Dang it. Looks like we
just blew a water hose.

That tears it.

Shepherd to Lost Sheep.

'Shepherd, this is
Lost Sheep. Go ahead.'

It looks like we're out of it.
We've blown a water hose

so it'll be up to you. They're
headed across Morgan's Meadow.

- Try to cut them off at..
- Sweetwater Overpass.

'Sweetwater
Overpass. You got that?'

- You heard the man.
- Sure did.

We got them now, Boss.

Morgan's Meadow to
Sweetwater Overpass.

- Rosco's loose again.
- Let's just go round him up.

Look out for his barn.

It's alright. He wanted
to tear it down, anyway.

Now you did it!

What'd you have to
go in after them for?

We're hung up now.

We're entombed, that's
what we are. Buried alive.

Catch up with you
later. Happy landings.

- .

Don't mess around with the
Dukes when the farm's at stake.

I'm serious now.

- I'm really serious. Freeze!
- You boys got the mail, huh?

- Yeah.
- Now, look, Boss.

Read them their rights, Sheriff.

What with all the witnesses

there wasn't much old Boss
could do about them letters.

And maybe he wasn't
gonna die real soon

but he sure was gonna be
a mighty sick man for a while

trying to get something
back that he gave

to the good people
and children of Hazzard.

But then, every
little bit counts

and old Boss would rob an
orphan for a widow's mite.

Let go of that thing.
Come on, give me that.

And as for the Dukes, Jesse
wasn't about to take advantage

of old Boss'
misunderstanding about dying.

And he agreed to
continue making payments

providing that Boss dropped
his charges against the Dukes.

Finally, y'all can begin to
understand why sometimes

the mail is a little slow
in Hazzard County.