02x11 - People's Choice

[bunniefuu]

Yee-haw!

She does alright, though.

Now I know what you're thinkin'.

It ain't natural to see
General Lee losing a race

like this to cousin Daisy.

But the last time Bo and
Luke beat Daisy into town

she put starch in
their undershorts.

And it gave 'em a little
somethin' to think about.

You lose, boys. Another
blow for equal rights.

Next time, my pride's
gonna come before my shorts.

Not mine. Ahem.

In most big cities, the
airport is an exciting place.

But in Hazzard County,
the bus station can provide

about as much excitement
as anybody would want.

Mmm, get my drift?

- I think I'm in love.
- Well, I saw her first.

- She ain't your type.
- She sure is.

Howdy!

Excuse me and my
cousin here, ma'am

but we're conductin' a survey
on whether women prefer

little boys with blond
hair or men with dark hair.

I prefer men who are bald.

That's no problem at all.

I got a razor in
the car, I'll get it.

Alright, I got you this
time, you Duke boys.

Section - ,
violatin' a fire hydrant.

Ghkuh-ghkuh.

Wait a minute, Duke boys?

- Yes, ma'am.
- Yeah.

Don't you remember
me, T.C. Rogers?

Thelma Claire Rog..
You're Jim Rogers little..

Oh, w-what happened to your
buck teeth and your bone legs?

I lost 'em in college.

'There you are.'

That's gonna cost
you boys at least $ .

I love it, I love it.

- Rosco.
- Hm?

Ain't you gonna learn that Luke
and me ain't out-of-towners?

I believe this belongs to you.

Thanks, Rosco.

You smart aleck..

How long you home
for, Thelma Claire?

Well, um, that kinda
depends on if I win or lose.

If you win or lose what?

'The election.'

I've decided to run
against Boss Hogg

for supervisory administrator
of Hazzard County.

Judas Priest on a pony!

Administrator? Oh. Oh.

You got your work cut out for
you if you runnin' against him.

Heh, he wrote the dirty
campaign cookbook.

You think I don't know it?

He beat my daddy out of
the same job years ago

by stealing the pencils
out of the voting booths.

'But not this time.'

You know, I kinda like your..

Your spunk. Ha ha.

Tell you what? If you
need a campaign manager

you got one right here.

Seein' as how you're
running against Boss Hogg

you probably need a couple
of campaign managers.

Ah, why don't we just discuss
strategy over a tall, cool..

- Excuse us both.
- N-n-now, fellas..

- Excuse you, Luke.
- N-n-no, I don't have time.

See, I've gotta get settled in
and get over to the courthouse

to file as a candidate
before o'clock.

Well then... what
are we waiting for?

Give me that, Bo.

'Revenge, revenge!'

Revenge, Rosco. Revenge.

- That girl wants revenge.
- I tell you, she wants it.

- For her daddy.
- Mm-hm.

Old man Rogers, whom
I beat years ago.

Unfair and unsquare.

Yeah. So the sorehead said.

Boss, I don't know what
you're gonna worry about

'cause you done
won last two times out.

That's because nobody
was runnin' against me.

- I was go..
- Here you can have that one.

Oh, thank you.

Well, listen, let me
ask you something.

Exactly what does a
supervisory administrator do?

'All that itty-bitty
nitpickin' things'

'I'll never bother to look up.'

Because it only takes
an itty-bitty amount

of Hazzard County tax
money to run that office.

Still, we don't wanna lose

'our share of even itty-bitty
tax money, now, do you?'

sh**t, no.

Boss, uh, how come you
never gave me any of that little

itty-bitty tax money?

Because after taxing
your share of the itty-bitty

there just wasn't nothin' left.

Oh.

Rosco, somehow, I
gotta stop that Rogers gal

from runnin' against me.

How you gonna do that, Boss?
Once she files as a candidate

I mean, she can
run, that's the law.

You know, in that dark tunnel
of your head you call a brain

'there's a flickerin'
night-light.'

- Oh, I apprecia...
- File, o' course!

If she can't file,
she can't run.

How are you gonna
keep her from filin'

with Emery Potter
over at the courthouse?

Oh, the night-light
just went out.

We get rid of Emery Potter..

Before o'clock tonight,
when filin' time is over!

- Oh, that's a good idea.
- Come on, let's go find 'em.

Now, this may look like the
town square to most people

but for county registrar, Emery
Potter and Mabel Wooster

it's been a lunchtime
meeting place

for the past years
of their engagement.

Oh, Emery. Emery, honey

when are you and me gonna
set a date to get married?

Oh, Mabel! How many years
do I have to keep tellin' you?

Well, honey, just as soon
as I can afford to support..

And feed you in the manner
in which you are accustomed.

Emery, that moment has arrived.

Mr. Hogg, sir. What
brings you here?

Conscience, my boy, conscience.

I haven't slept a
wink since I realized

that I'm the one to blame for
keeping you and Mabel here

'from the altar of matrimony.
Ain't that right, Rosco?'

Right. You can tell by
his beady little red eyes

he hasn't slept in a week.

And so, Emery, I'm
going to raise your salary

in an amount to
be pre-determined

by cross dividin' the
cost-of-living index

by your net capital gains.

Plus, I'm giving you this
cash bonus as a weddin' gift.

So, now, you just get this
adorable little thing here

to a preacher and
let me get some sleep.

Oh, Emery. Emery,
the day has finally come!

- N-n-now, hold on here.
- Oh.

Plus, I hope that you
both will accept the use

of my summer cottage
down at Lake Chicamahonee

for your honeymoon.
Available now.

It's a very romantic place to
consummate your nuptials.

Consummate, oh, Emery.

I can't..

M-Mr. Hogg, sir.

'I can't, I can't get
away right now.'

I got my job as
county registrar to do.

Oh, nonsense, my boy, nonsense.

I'll have Deputy Enos
Strate substitute for you

while you're doin'
your consummatin'.

Oh, Emery, please.
Please, please, please!

- Huh?
- Aha..

'Look here, Emery.'

If you two leave for
Lake Chicamahonee

right this instant, I'll
pay for your nuptials, too.

Hot darn! That's
good enough for me.

Oh, boy, Emery.
We're gonna be married!

Oh, Lake Chicamahonee,
here we come!

You know, Boss, gettin'
rid of the county registrar

that's a new high
and lows for you.

- After you.
- Yes, sir.

Howdy, ma'am.

Hey, Bo. Hi, Luke.

- Hey.
- What can I do for y'all?

I'm here to file as a
candidate for the office

of supervisory administrator
of Hazzard County.

The name is Rogers,
Thelma Claire Rogers.

Against Mr. Hogg? Well, I'll be.

Yeah, how about that?
Why don't you ask Emery

to come out so we can
muddle through that paperwork?

- Yeah.
- Well, Emery ain't here, Luke.

He's gettin' married
today in Chicamahonee.

Hallelujah, Mabel Wooster gonna
nail him proper after years!

- You're kiddin'.
- Alright.

Well, in his absence, why don't
I file my application with you?

Well, I can let you have
an application, ma'am..

But I ain't got the
authority to sign it.

'You mean, she
can't run for office'

'unless Emery signs this dang
piece of paper all by himself?'

- 'It's true, folks.'
- 'That don't sound like Emery.'

Did you talk to him?

I mean, did he say why he's
getting married in Chicamahonee

'instead of right
here in Hazzard?'

I never seen him, Luke.

'I heard sheriff talkin'
to Mr. Hogg about them'

'honeymoonin' in Mr. Hogg's
cottage on the lake.'

From chapel to the
cottage with no lost motion.

- Boss Hogg, don't that figure.
- We better get movin'.

Yeah, we better go
grind some gears.

- Wait a minute!
- Bye, y'all.

Would one of you
Duke boys kindly tell me

where we're going now?

You, me, and Bo better
get over to Chicamahonee

with that application
and get it signed.

'Let's do it.'

Bye, Enos.

So the boys cooked
hell-for-leather

gettin' to Chicamahonee.

And Rosco burnt the
same hell-for-leather

gettin' over to
Boss with the news.

You know, I can't afford
to lose this election.

And I'm talking about
the financial loss.

- Oh.
- Itty-bitty or no.

I just gotta look me up
all them nitpicking duties

of supervisory administrator.

Well, that's a good idea.

- Got 'em here some place.
- That's old. That's..

Here we are.
What did I tell you?

Look at that.

County air-pollution
controller means money.

Money.

County sanitation
advisor, money.

County earthquake consultant,
county cemetery coordinator

county probation
officer, all mean money!

All money.

Did I say county
probation officer?

- Yeah, you said...
- Shut up, I did!

And I never knew it.

It's probably because
it doesn't pay no money.

Probably because it
doesn't pay no money.

- Yeah.
- Rosco, this is it.

This how I'm gonna take
care of them Duke boys.

Oh, that's great, that's great.

Aside from the
regular probation officer

they should've been
reportin' to the Hazzard County

probation officer.

- Namely, you.
- Namely, me.

- But they forgot.
- But they forgot.

Now, most everybody
in Hazzard County

loves getting married in the
rustic setting of Chicamahonee.

And that includes the
reluctant and the eager.

To unite these here two people
in the holy bonds of matrimony.

- Help me, guys.
- Sure.

There you go.

Come on, we gotta hurry y'all.'

No, no, no.

Uh, you people will all
just have to wait your turn.

I've got a christenin'
and three more weddings

following this. To
be followed by a...

Excuse us, preacher,
uh, Mabel, and the Lord.

We just need Emery
here for just a second.

It's urgent business.

- What can I do for you?
- It won't take but a second.

This here lady is
Thelma Claire Rogers.

'She's running
against Boss Hogg'

'as supervising administrator
of Hazzard County.'

Right, and you being registrar
and all, I need your signature

on this piece of paper to
make me eligible to run.

Oh ho ho, well,
that ain't no problem.

Go ahead.

Let's get out. Oh, excuse me.

What the problem is, is
my signature on that thing

ain't legal and bindin'
without the great seal

'of Hazzard County
stamped on it.'

- And where is that?
- Back in Hazzard.

Look, could we please get
on with the ceremony here?

'I'm sorry, Mabel.'

We're gonna have to take Emery
back to Hazzard by o'clock.

Mabel, we promise
to get him right back.

My schedule is very tight.

And if it ain't now, I can't
marry you two or four

'Thursday, uh, late afternoon.'

Please, Mr. Potter. It's
almost time for my deadline.

Yeah.

- Sorry, Mabel.
- Huh?

But it's my sworn duty.

Oh, Emery. Listen, you put
us down for Thursday noon

'because we are gonna be back.'

- Thanks, Mabel.
- Come on, Emery. Come on.

- 'Thanks, Mabel.'
- Oh, Emery.

Now, you wait for me, honey.

Come on, sweetheart.
Emery, wait!

Those boys, they
drive like maniacs.

Hang on.

Now, the time between
Chicamahonee and Hazzard

is minutes as the crow flies.

- You alright, Emery?
- Uh-huh.

Ain't nobody knows
how long it takes

as the General Lee flies.

A new Hazzard open road
time of minutes, seconds

and counting down to o'clock.

Come along, Emery.

I don't wanna have
to tangle with me.

Let's go, come on.

Enos, the county seal! Quick!

- 'Enos!'
- 'We got ten seconds left.'

Hurry!

- Phew!
- Yaa-hoo!

- Alright!
- Ha ha!

T.C., you are now
officially a candidate

for the supervisory
administrator of Hazzard County.

Oh, and a candidate
couldn't ask for two better

'campaign managers.'

- Oh.
- A-ha!

Well, it's gonna be
hard to campaign

in a little tiny
jail cell, isn't it?

'Cause I'm arresting you
for violating your probation.

Alright, hand's up.

I swear old Rosco would raid
an orphanage Christmas party.

Now, Rosco, the last we
heard, our probation officer

had been transferred. We
was never assigned a new one.

How come you never told
us it was... it was Boss?

Eight will get you
ten, he never knew.

Hush!

Now, sheriff, don't you think
under the circumstances that

these two boys could be released
under their own recognizance?

Well, they recognize
each other, ma'am.

They've been cousins for years.

Alright, let's move
out. Move out.

We ain't going nowhere
till you read us our rights.

Oh, Bo, I've read those
rights to you a hundred times.

I'm sick of reading
those rights to you.

Don't you thr*aten me.

Alright..

Now!

Tell Uncle Jesse
still site four.

Freeze! Freeze!

- Let's hit it, cousin.
- You got it.

You, you dumb dipstick,
you're obstructing justice!

Freeze! Just...

Enos, this is Sheriff
Rosco P. Coltrane.

You got your ears on? Come on.

Hi, there.

'Enos, you got your
ears on? Come on.'

I'm right here, sheriff.

Listen, I was going over to
the Busy Bee Cafe for lunch.

'You want to bring
you a corn dog?'

I'm going to corn
your dog, you turnip.

The Duke boys have
just escaped on now.

I want you to go down
to Harvey Mills Crossin'

'and head 'em
off. You got that?'

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

I'm gone.

I got it blocked up
ahead for you, sheriff.

Here they come, sheriff.

Dang!

Here comes Rosco.

Alright!

Hey, you gotta hand it to Rosco

at least, he's predictable.

Yeah, well, let's go
see Uncle Jesse, alright?

You got it.

'You want me to keep looking
for 'em or you wanna go eat?'

No, Enos, just forget it.
Do you hear? Just forget it!

Yes, sir, this here
is Enos. Forgettin' it.

Over and out.

You boys knew when
you got your probation

that you were supposed to
report to your Hazzard County

probation officer
every once in a while.

'Now, isn't that true?'

- Yes, sir, we did.
- Then why didn't you?

Because they never told
us who the dang guy was.

Watch your language.

Yes, sir.

Well, I guess you
know who it is now.

When it comes to nailin' us

Boss is getting to be a
master at splittin' hair.

You know, maybe I
shouldn't run against Boss.

That's exactly what
he wants you to think.

I even tried to buy
some time at W-H-O-G-G.

Boss Hogg's radio station?

I know. Needless to say,
he refused me equal time

till the day after
the elections.

'You know, it just doesn't pay
to fight the system sometimes.'

Oh, it pays, young lady.

Indeed, it does.

Why, I've been fighting
the system all of my life.

Now it's time for you young'uns
to take over and fight it.

'Why, if you don't
love something enough'

'to keep it healthy
and honest and clean'

well, then, it's time to
give up and move on.

You see that there?

That there is good
Hazzard County dirt

and we love it. And that's
why we fight the system.

And your daddy loved it,
and that's why he fought.

And if you love it,
then you gotta fight.

'I got an idea.'

Just meet me and Bo over
at Cooter's garage in an hour.

Christmas is coming early
to Hazzard County this year.

- Ah, come on.
- I guess.

- Put it up right there.
- Okay.

Oh.

Rosco, you hammer
like you run your office.

You always miss it.

Now them Duke boys are missing.

I want 'em in jail, you hear?

Not out there, helping
that female run against me.

Don't you worry about it, Boss.

I'm gonna catch 'em
Dukes. I'm gonna nail 'em.

Oh, you better, or I'll
nail you to that tree.

- Oh.
- And I won't miss!

Oh. Oh.

Little fat..

Oh, grabber.. I'm just..

Hey, Cooter.

- Cooter, come here!
- Come here.

We gotta talk to you.

What's up?

You know, there's election
coming up, don't you?

- Hunh-uh.
- Well, now you do.

You know that that means
that Boss Hogg's gonna be

in this courtyard giving
that same old dull speech.

You remember
Thelma Claire Rogers?

She growed up and
she's running agin him.

Alright.

She got the same right to
express herself as he does.

- Right on.
- That's right.

We also figure since you
got the equipment we need..

- You got it.
- Alright.

But the main thing Cooter
had that they needed

was a flat-out, purity, old,
country, shade tree genius

for things mechanical.

That's righteous.

Now, the next thing I got
in mind works on the C.B.

See, we're gonna
have to run some..

That ol' boy's
nearly as laid-back

as Willie what's-his-name.

Yaa-hoo!

In Hazzard, that's
the sound of genius.

Ladies and gentleman, and
voters of Hazzard County.

If you all want to, you can
come down here a bit closer

'if you want. You wanna
come on down here?'

I don't think they hear me.

Well, they would
if you used the mic.

Oh, oh, yeah. Yeah, I just..

Testing, one, two,
three. It's workin'.

Uh, citizens of Hazzard County,
uh, I guess you all know me.

I'm Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.

And you also know
what I stand for.

- Funny, just...
- Hold it, hold it, dodo.

Don't lose me votes,
just introduce me.

Just a second now.

With no further
ado, that's French

uh, I-I..

I want to introduce the
present and the future..

Eh, supervisory administrator

the Honorable
Jefferson Davis Hogg.

Thank you. Thank you, thank you.

My fellow citizens
of Hazzard County

you all know me well.

- Just a second.
- '...who's lived amongst you.'

Right about..

Alright, let's do it. Come on.

'...urges you to exercise
your God-given right to vote.'

And to vote for...
'Thelma Claire Rogers.'

That's right, folks. Vote
for Thelma Claire Rogers.

'If you want honesty
in local government'

vote for Thelma Claire Rogers.

- Uh, now, friends..
- Vote for Thelma Claire Rogers.

Now friends, just pay no
mind to that upstart female.

- 'Vote for Thelma Claire..'
- Pay no attention to her.

A vote for Thelma
Claire Rogers will return

'the office of supervisory
administrator, once again'

into a position, of
integrity and trust.

Pay no mind to that
upstart female over there.

Don't pay no attention.
Hush out there, hush!

Pasture pie, them Duke
boys are back. Go get 'em.

- Oh, uh, will you just...
- Just don't stand there, go!

I'm gone.

Hush up! Hush!

Freeze!

'Fellow citizens.
Fellow citizens.'

They did it this time, this
time they're gonna pay for it.

I just want to say that my
only wish is to serve you all.

So that I can...

Manipulate your
taxes into a private fund

'that serves no purpose
other than to fill his fat pockets.'

Lies! Lies!

'Lies! Honest, my
fellow citizens, lies!'

I urge you to vote
for me, J.D. Hogg

and I will be eternally
grateful to you

from the bottom of my heart.

'Rosco!'

Oh, uh, oh, oh, oh.

My friends, I have been
in this office for years

'and I want to ask you..'

'...so that I can repay
you for your kindness..'

by serving you well.

'Pay no mind to
that upstart female.'

'I urge you to vote
for me, J.D. Hoggs'

who has served you
faithfully for years

'and I will see that I will
return your great kindness'

'by serving you well
in the coming days.'

Rosco, go get 'em!

Go get 'em! Get 'em! Get!

That ain't bad for a day's
work. Let's get out of here.

Enos, this is your
commanding officer and leader

Rosco P. Coltrane calling ya.

'Listen, the Duke boys
are heading out '

and I'm hot on their
tail. I want you to circle

around Prescott, that's Presquat

uh, Pres... uh, the crossroads.

'Circle around there
and head 'em off.'

'You know where I mean.'

'Enos, will you
get out of my way?'

'Move it over there
so I can get by.'

'Your gravel's
scuffin' my car now.'

'I'm serious, now.'

'Enos, you're not
paying no attention.'

'He's turnin'! He's turnin'!'

Enos!

Enos, now you done messed up.

Will you let me get in
front? I'm your leader.

Enos, what are you doin'?

Enos, this is your
superior officer talking!

Now, you just pull
over and let me pass.

Enos! Can't you hear me?

I swear I'll get Dr. Pettibone
to clean your ears out.

'You're making me seasick here.'

'Will you get out of the way?
I am your superior officer.'

Let me by. Let me by.

Now I'll show him
how to really drive.

'I love it. I love
it. Ghke, ghke!'

'Reckon we got a choice?'

- Nope.
- I was afraid you'd say that.

I thought dip meant down.

- Did you see that, sheriff?
- 'No, Enos. I didn't see it.'

I was drivin' with my eyes
closed and sneakin' a snooze

you dipstick.

- Phew, you alright back there?
- Fine.

- Let him try that.
- That did it.

Now remember, T.C.
still ain't won the election.

The Dukes will
have to build a fire

under a lot more
folks to win it.

So the next day, Luke
put the second part

of his campaign plan to work.

Well, that oughta 'bout do it.

Now what?

- Back towards town.
- Oh, what about Rosco?

I said towards
town, not to town.

I figure anywhere is within a
ten-mile radius ought to do it.

I don't understand this.

Cooter hooked up our
C.B. so it'd be on the same

radio frequency as
the radio station in town.

All you gotta do is talk
into that microphone.

'You'd be broadcasted
all over Hazzard County.'

There you go.

I can't do this, fellas.

It's against FCC regulations.
I would be breaking the law.

Boss broke the law by refusing
you equal time, didn't he?

That's right.

Now would you
please get in the car?

Here you go. Ready?

And now, ladies and
gentlemen, direct from his office

in the city hall..

Your next supervisory
administrator

the Honorable
Jefferson Davis Hogg.

Eh, my.. Eh, oh-oh..

Yeah.

Eh, my fellow citizens
of Hazzard County

'I'm callin' upon you all to
vote in the comin' election'

'for a hardworkin',
honorable man'

'who's earned your
trust. Namely, me.'

Modest, ain't he?

Yeah, and I thought he
made it on his good looks.

- Ha ha.
- That takes gall, honey.

And friends, as most of
you listenin' out there know

I just happen to hold
most of the mortgages

on your farms and property.

'uh, not to mention the
notes on your bank loans.'

'But of course, I'm
not the kind of man'

'who would try to
influence your vote.'

It's all yours,
T.C. Do it to it.

But today, I will
promise you one thing...

'Higher taxes and bank rates,
and a secret set of books.'

'This is Thelma
Claire Rogers, folks.'

I'm not promising you
the same pack of lies

that Boss Hogg has
been feeding you.

What I am promising you
is to see that your tax money

'is used for the
purpose it was intended.'

'That's for better schools'

'better roads, better
social services.'

'All the things that Boss
Hogg has ignored in favor..'

Yaa-hoo! Ha ha ha.

'And Boss Hogg,
if you're listening'

'I want you to know
that if I'm elected'

'I intend to..'

Cut her off! Cut her off!

Cut the whole
station off! I own it.

Cut it off! Cut it off!

That's right, Boss Hogg,
a complete federal audit

'of your books.'

I guess you're off the air.

But I think you got in some
pretty good sh*ts, anyway.

On election day, all the polls
in Hazzard County are located

in one place, the Boars Nest.

Next.

Howdy.

Oh-h, honeybun. Uh,
here, here's your ballot.

Now, you never mind
my ballot, Emery Potter.

You just remember your
solemn promise as a registrar that

you and me is gettin' married
today after the polls close.

Well, ye-yes,
sugar, but you see...

But nothin'. Now, after I vote

I'm gonna be waitin' right
over there with my bags packed.

Well, it sure looks
on the up-and-up.

Yeah, I know, but
elections in Hazzard County

don't always stay
in the up-and-up.

Yeah, I know what you mean.
I'm worried about Bo and Luke.

If I can't arrest 'em for
violation of probation

then-then I think I'll
scare 'em out of town.

- Scare 'em?
- Yeah.

Rosco, you proved you
couldn't scare a crow.

Now you just let me handle the
winnin' of this election my way.

Plan A, synchronize our watches.

Oh, I like..

The time is exactly
two minutes to : .

I've got two minutes till : .

Oh! I said two
minutes to : , dodo.

Plan B depends on
our closin' the election

one hour ahead of time.

- Got it?
- I got it.

Meanwhile, the boys
knew that Boss Hoggs

still had more tricks
than Houdini's trunk.

- Howdy, Emery.
- Hi, Enos.

Now, who do you dispose that is?

Hey, Mr. Hogg.

- Hi, sheriff - Hey, Enos.

I'm fixin' to vote.

- Oh, Enos, think pig.
- 'Yes, sir. He he.'

Yes, sir. He he. Excuse me.

Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
my name is Wheeler.

- This here is Mr. Peters.
- Howdy.

We're the state election
board and have been assigned

'to transport the ballot box to
Hazzard County Courthouse.'

You have seconds
before the polls close.

Hey!

This is ridiculous,
we still have an hour.

Yeah, it's not
even o'clock yet.

Sorry, ladies, I have o'clock.

So do I.

Rosco, what does your watch say?

Uh, well, Boss,
I'm a little slow.

We all know that,
but what time is it?

Oh. Uh, well, I-I
got about o'clock.

You know, give or take
a few seconds either way.

Uh, poll's closed,
ladies and gentlemen.

Uh, Mr. Peters, the ballot box.

Now, wait a minute, most
people haven't even voted yet.

Ain't true, Daisy.

I know most everybody
in these here parts.

And well, far as I can
tell, they've all voted.

The election's over.

'Yeah..'

And you and me got a date
with a preacher in Chicamahonee.

Grab them bags, Emery.

Bye, Emery.

Well, what with with Emery
gone, looks like it's all over

but the screamin'.

Gentlemen, you now
can take the ballot box

over to Hazzard
County Courthouse.

'Take 'em all.'

There ain't no doubt about it.

Them two turkeys must get their
watches from Boss for Christmas.

I ain't sure what's up, but
we won't find out by losing 'em.

- Come on, buddy.
- Yeah, you're right.

This ain't exactly the way back

to the Hazzard
County Courthouse.

Yeah, no kiddin'.

We're being followed. Lose 'em.

They spotted us.

Let 'em think they lost us.
Hang a turn the other way.

It's okay now. You
know where to go.

Don't figure that
was too hard, Bo.

They're headed right
back to the Boars Nest.

Yep.

Them boys are
really swift, ain't they?

Do you get the same bad
feeling about these characters

that I do?

I sure do.

Get the dummy ballots.

They're in that
left-hand drawer there.

- They're changing them ballots.
- Well, not if we don't let 'em.

- You ready?
- Yeah.

- Let's do this.
- Go!

Better look out, Bo.

I don't think he's fixing
to use that stool to sit on.

Get up.

- Let's get out of here, Bo.
- Yeah.

Hey, Boss man, we done it.

- We done it.
- Yeah.

And you know, Rosco,
when the votes are counted

and I mean, thevotes are counted

I just got me the
strange feelin'

that I'll get re-elected
unanimously.

Boss, I don't even think
it's gonna be that close.

Have you ever considered
re-admission to the first grade?

This is Wheeler
calling Boss Hogg.

J.D. Hogg here. What's
holding you boys up?

I thought you'd be
here by now, over.

We're chasing two good
ol' boys down Highway .

'They grabbed the ballot
box and hightailed it.'

Did one of them have yellow
hair, the other dark, over?

- Yeah, they're the ones.
- Oh!

Well, you get 'em
and get that box!

- 'Right.'
- That was Bo and Luke Duke.

Well, of course, it
was Bo and Luke Duke.

Now you go and follow
them, get 'em arrested

and get me that ballot box back!

I'm gone.

Gee.. Aah!

I ain't about to get
myself whooped again

for the small change
that we've been paid.

We done all we're
gonna do for Boss Hogg.

- Right.
- Let's cut.

You bet.

Well, looks like we just lost
'em two flunkies of Boss, eh?

- Looks that way.
- Huh.

The ballot!

Here they are.

- Listen...
- Start countin' because..

We ain't got no
time to explain..

Rosco's behind us.
We've gotta.. Thank you.

Wait now, wait. Hold it!

- What?
- You haven't voted yet.

- Alright, come on.
- Alright.

Alright, you Dukes, I just..

- Gee-gee-gee-gee.
- Where? Huh? Ooh.

Ooh, ooh..

Just a normal everyday
happenin' in Hazzard County, T.C.

What?

Well, the dang car's flooded.
What're we gonna do now?

'Cooter!'

Nice mornin'. We'll
have to borrow your truck.

Oh, sure. Yeah.

You'll get it back
when we lose Rosco.

Ah, okay. Yeah, y'all
knock yourself out.

- Come on, Bo.
- Hey, do me a favor.

Put a couple of dollars
worth of gas in there.

- You got it.
- That's a big - , Cooter.

Ah!

Well, I'll be ding-danged.

Well, Enos, what is it?

- How many did I win by?
- It's a tie, Mr. Hogg.

'A tie.'

A tie?

Well, what the devil
do I want with a tie?

Well, J.D., it proves one
thing, at least half of the people

in this county ain't
afraid to vote agin you.

Yeah, that's right

but I wish just one
more had felt that way.

Well, according to this here
ledger, there is one more vote

that ain't accounted for.

- Who's that?
- Emery Potter.

Emery Potter? Emery Po..

Emery Potter forgot to vote.

Hello, out there. You
boys out there somewhere?

'This is your Uncle Jesse.'

We're right here, Uncle Jesse.

And I'm hot on their tail.
I'm comin', I'm comin'.

- How'd the vote go?
- It was a tie.

It was a tie. Emery
Potter forgot to vote.

You boys remember where
he's gettin' married, don't you?

Uh, yeah, he must be
over at Chicamahonee.

Alright.

Now, since the Boss's
watch was an hour fast

'you've got exactly
minutes to get Potter over here'

and if he can vote, we
might have ourselves

a new supervisory
administrator. Ha ha ha.

There you go, J.D.

Rosco, if you can hear me,
make sure you get to Emery first

and make sure that he
knows who to vote for.

- Or else you can kiss...
- Your badge goodbye.

That too.

Just what I thought.

That little, fat,
white mushroom.

Ooh, ooh.

Ooh.

'Hush!'

Once again, we are gathered
here in the sight of the Lord.

Ah, hey, again.

We've got to take you
back to Hazzard again.

The election's a tie,
and you forgot to vote.

You can't have him.

Would you please consider
inviting these here two

'off of your guest list?'

The election's a tie?

And the polls
close in minutes.

Emery, your vote makes
you the most important man

in Hazzard County.

- It does?
- Yes, sir.

- It does, don't it?
- Emery, don't listen to 'em.

Come on, Emery,
we ain't got much time.

Emery, you can't leave
me at the altar again.

Huh?

Now, sugar lumps,
we can do this later.

Right now, Hazzard
County needs my vote.

My schedule simply will not
tolerate another postponement.

But preacher, may..

Alright.

Does anyone here..

Judas Priest.. Sorry, preacher.

Let him speak up now
or forever hold his peace.

Bo, we only got six
minutes left. Get after it!

But if I go any faster, I
don't think y'all can hold on.

You heard what the preacher
said, now hold your peace.

- Yes.
- Go on, preacher.

Do you, Emery
Potter, take this here

'woman to be your
lawful wedded wife?'

To love, honor, cherish and
obey until death do you part?

- I..
- Emery?

Uh, ah-ha.. Yeah, I-I-I do.

- And do you, uh..
- Mable Wooster.

May the Lord give you a
large family, many children

and I now pronounce
you man and wife.

Emery!

We got-we got no
time for that, Emery.

Come on, Emery.

Emery!

- Come on..
- I'm with him.

There you go.

Here he is. Give him the ballot.

You've got seconds,
Emery, make your "X" fast.

Yeah.

Now, vote your
conscience, Emery.

Vote your job.

Oh.

You got ten seconds, Emery.

Alright, you Duke
boys, I got you!

Five seconds,
Emery, do somethin'.

Here's my vote.

I'll look at that,
give it to me.

Well, what do you
know, we got ourselves

a new supervisor,
Thelma Claire Rogers.

- Ha ha ha.
- Alright!

- Put that in the book.
- Congratulations, honey.

Rosco!

- Golly.
- Quit that, just quit.

Emery, you know the
penalty for treason, don't you?

I'll tell you.

It means you can
consummate your nuptials

on the unemployment line.

You are fired.

No, no, no, Mr. Hogg,
I'm afraid that the office

of county registrar falls
under my jurisdiction.

And Emery stays.

Well, that very well maybe,
but at least I'm gonna arrest

the Duke boys for
violatin' their probation.

- Come on, come on.
- Stop harassing.

Unh-uh, unh-uh.

As the boys new
probation officer

I'll take full
responsibility for them

until their case is reviewed.

- Yep.
- Well, you just.. You just..

You know something, J.D.?

You might have won this
election, except for one thing

Rosco P. Coltrane
forgot to vote.

He what?

It was just a little
oversight there.

Listen, I would-I
would vote, but..

- You forgot to vote, cow chip!
- But I was busy.

Kachow!

Well, let's hear it for
our new supervisor.

No, no, no, no, wait,
wait, wait a minute.

Let's hear it for my
hero, Emery Potter.

Oh.

Oh, and better luck
next time, honey.

Bye, Emery.

That's the Hazzard tale
about the time Boss Hogg

lost an honest election.

And how Bo and Luke found
out that T.C. wasn't about

to celebrate with
neither one of them.

She's married.

Well, she never did
tell that she wasn't..

Did she? You would've
figured old Bo and Luke

would've checked up on that.

Looks like a simple
case of them caught

with their checkers down.