07x02 - China Cruise: The Pledge/East Meets West/Dear Roberta/My Two Dumplings: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making
another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something
for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard,
it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

Attention, passengers.

We have just docked
at xingang harbor,

the port of entry

to the heavenly capital
Beijing,

known to us as Peking.

♪♪

I don't believe it.
Locked up with my own cuffs.

Always a first time,
Charlie.

And what you doin',
writin' love letters?

Hardly.

I think the lady
deserves an explanation

as to why she'll never
see me again.

You won't get away
with this.

Okay.

Sorry, pal. No choice.

I need the time.

But the steward'll
find you

when he comes in
to make up the cabin.

Let's see.

I'll leave the key
to those cuffs at the airport

at the China airlines
ticket counter.

So long, Charlie.

♪♪

Hi.

Do me a favor,
will you?

When you see Ms. Stanton,
give this to her for me.

-Sure, Mr. Gardner.
-Burt! Burt!

Never mind.
I'll give it to her myself.

Bye-bye.

Come on. I've got us
a private taxicab
and a lovely lunch.

I can't wait for you
to take me to the great wall.

We're gonna have the best day
of our lives.

All right. Come on.

Just have to make a quick stop
at the airport,

and then,
we're off to Beijing.

♪♪

Doc: It's amazing.

All you see are bicycles
and pedestrians,

no cars.

Leslie: Well,
that's because citizens

are not allowed to own
private cars,

only officials
and government workers.

Do you think we could find
a bicycle built for two?

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

That's a monument
to the people's heroes,

in memory of those
who died for the revolution.

Incredible.

I'm actually standing
in tiananmen square.

You know,
what's even more incredible

is that million people
can stand in this square

at the same time.

Now, that's the museum
of Chinese history.

And what's that red building

with chairman mao's picture
on it?

Leslie: That's the gate
of heavenly peace.

In ,
that's where chairman mao

proclaimed
the establishment of

the people's republic
of China.

And that very large one?

Ah, the great hall
of the people,

which houses
the people's congress

and a banquet hall
which seats , people.

That's what I like --
small, intimate dinners.

[ Laughs ]

Uh, that building
over there looks newer.

It is. That's chairman mao's
memorial hall,

which contains the body
of chairman mao

in a crystal coffin.

What a beautiful
final resting place.

Oh, Adam, there's so many
beautiful things

I can't wait
to show you.

You know what i'm
looking forward to most?

What?

-Being alone with you.
-[ Laughs ]

Adam! Leslie!

Hi.

Uh, Vicki and I were gonna
explore the city together,

but then, we realized that

Leslie is practically a native.
-Well...

Ooh. Would you mind
if we could tag along?

Oh, uh, gee.

No, not at all.

Great!

♪♪

You should've seen the look
on Greg's face

when I told him
I love gopher.

Poor gopher. He runs now
every time he sees me.

I can't wait to take a picture
of Greg's face

when I tell him that
I'm in love with gopher too.

Better make
it a double exposure.

He's so two-faced.

[ Laughs ]

Hey, mister,
you trying to ruin my picture?

Glad you're here.

So am I.

I just hope
you're still glad

after you hear
what I've got to say.

Well, it's about time you
told me what's bothering you.

Did you really mean what you
said about dear Roberta?

That's it?

All this time, you've been upset
about that silly comment?

Hey, it isn't
a silly comment.

Well, don't tell me
you work for her.

Barbara...[ Sighs ]

I am dear Roberta.

[ Laughs ]
You're kidding me.

No, I'm not.

I don't believe this.

What is it about my column
that upsets you so much?

Because your idiotic advice
ruined my marriage.

-You wrote to me?
-No, my husband did.

He wanted a woman's
point of view.

You told him to get a divorce,
and he did.

What's the matter?

No pearls of wisdom,
dear Roberta?

♪♪

Gopher: The tour book sure
is right about the ming tombs.

What a great place
to take pictures.

♪♪

Isaac:
Come on, gopher.

By the time you get up there,
the sun'll be down.

Just a minute. Okay.

Isaac, did you know that they
call this the sacred way,

and there are pairs
of animal statues

and six pairs
of human statues on this road

that leads to the ming tomb?

How would I know that?

I've never been here before.

I just...I did it!

They date back
to the th century,

and they guard the tombs
of the ming emperors.

I did it.

Look, I can't hold... ah!

Come on, gopher.
We haven't got all day.

Get up there!

Hold it. Hold it.
Hold it. Right there.
Hold it right there.

That's good. Got it.

Leslie:
Sit back and relax.

Next stop --
the great wall.

♪♪

The great wall
is over , miles long.

The Chinese
started building it

in the, um,
th century b.C.,

but they didn't complete it
until the th century a.D.

Wow. I hope they put in
for overtime.

That's the most awesome sight
I've ever seen.

Thanks for letting us
tag along.

Oh, it's our pleasure.

This is incredible,
dad.

We're actually
on the great wall.

Look. If we happen
to get separated,

let's meet back
at the hotel at : .

Fine. But how could we
possibly get separated?

Watch this.

Oh. [ Laughs ]

This is unbelievable.

Can you imagine
what it would cost

to carpet this place
wall-to-wall?

Greg, I have to talk
to you, please.

Ni hao!

That's Chinese
for, "how ya doin'?"

-Hi.
-This is an incredible sight,

isn't it?
-So, you came along too, huh?

Gopher:
Yeah. Whenever I'm in China,
I always visit the great wall.

-Isaac, come take my picture.
-Me too.

No, gopher,
I want you to stay.

Greg,
I've been living a lie.

And I can't keep
it a secret any longer.

I think I will be
running along.

No, gopher,
I want you to stay.

I never told you
the real reason

why I came
on this cruise.

You see...

I wasn't certain
whether I really loved you.

And I thought if we spent
some time alone together,

I'd know how I felt.

And now, I'm certain.

I love you, Greg.

And I want us
to get married.

Well, you really want
to marry me?

Yeah, I really do.

Hey, guy!
Congratulations!

You too, Laurie!

Joanne. Sorry.

♪♪

♪♪

Carole: You were right.
This is spectacular.

Thank you
for bringing me here.

Burt:
And to think that this wall
was built by hand

over , years ago.

Just about how long
I feel I've loved you.

You know something?
If I'd known you way back then,

I'd have had this wall
built for you

to keep all the other men
away.

You know, I've been traveling
for the past year,

trying to see
everything I can

and experience everything
possible.

Hmm. Have you experienced
everything possible?

I thought I had
until these last few days.

Carole, there's something
that I must tell you.

I know.
And I feel the same way.

I don't ever want
to be without you.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Leslie:
Adam, we could spend a month
in the imperial palace

and still not see it all.

The courtyard
we're walking through

was once used
for imperial ceremonies.

Scores of military officials
and their legions

would kneel before the emperor.

This is the ceremonial gate
of supreme Harmony,

guarded by
these huge, bronze lions.

The ferocious beasts are
a symbol of imperial strength.

♪♪

Come on. Let me take you
through some of the palaces.

They are filled with collections
of artwork and belongings

of the ancient emperors.

♪♪

Well, what'd you think
of the imperial palace?

Well, when you told me
it had , rooms,

i didn't think we were gonna
walk through all of them.

[ Both laugh ]

I thought it was called
"the forbidden city."

Oh, it is.

You see, when the emperor
built it in the th century,

it was strictly forbidden

for anyone outside of the court
or government to enter.

And our captain thinks
he runs a tight ship.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, Adam.
Look at this.

Isn't it beautiful?

This is
the imperial garden.

People like to stop
and rest here

before they go exploring
further.

Do you mean there's more?

Of course. acres.

And we still haven't seen
the palace of heavenly purity,

the hall of earthly peace,

and the palace
of peaceful old age.

The palace
of peaceful old age?

By the time
we get to that one,

I'll be ready
to move right in.

[ Both laugh ]

Are you all right?

You hardly touched your dinner
last night.

You haven't had
a thing to eat all day.

You know, Adam....

...if you would forget
that you're a doctor
for just a moment,

you'd realize
it's perfectly normal

for a girl to lose her appetite
when she's falling in love.

No.

No?

No.

Oh, you see, in China,

it's considered rude
to kiss in public.

Oh.

Mm.

♪♪

I don't see
anyone around here.

Do you?

♪♪

Vicki: Thanks for taking me
to the zoo, dad.

I can't wait
to see the pandas.

Merrill:
I read there are only ,
wild pandas left in the world,

and all live in China.

[ Camera shutters clicking ]

Vicki: You know what
he looks like, dad?

An oreo with fur.

Do you have color film
in the camera, Isaac?

Isaac: Yeah. What for?

It's a black-and-white animal.

My hat!

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

Hi. I'm sorry I'm late.

Oh, that's okay.

At least I had
this beautiful view to look at

while I was waiting.

Yeah.

Oh, did you tell Greg
the bad news?

Well,
how did he take it?

Well, I told him
that I was in love with gopher,

and he started to cry.

I mean, he practically
got on his knees

and begged me
to marry him.

He did?

Yeah. I told him no,

but he said I was the only girl
that he ever loved.

I couldn't turn him down.

You mean you two
are getting married?

Yeah.

When?

Tomorrow on the ship.

The captain agreed
to perform the ceremony.

Well, congratulations.

Thank you.

Would you tell Greg
I said congratulations, too?

Sure.

♪♪

Uh, excuse me a moment,
Leslie.

Hello, Ms. Stanton.

Why, hello, doctor.

Enjoying the summer palace?

Yes, very much.

Isn't this one of the most
beautiful places in the world?

Oh,
if I could only paint.

I'm surprised
I haven't seen more of you.

Well, I've been trying
to stay out of the way

as much as possible.

Thank you.

I have noticed that
you've been putting in

pretty strenuous days.

And nights.

All I'm asking
is that you just --

just maybe...

Please stop.

No lecture.

You see this man?

If I died this moment,
it will have been worth it.

I just want you to have
more of those moments.

I hope you understand
what you're doing.

I do understand
what I'm doing.

I hope you understand
what I'm feeling.

♪♪

♪♪

Whoever named this
the temple of heaven

must have known
you'd be standing here one day.

That's the hall of prayer
for good harvests.

It was built in .

Now, it's entirely of wood.

You know,
there's not a nail in it.

Gee. I wonder what they'd get
for that in Beverly Hills.

Oh. [ Laughs ]

Oh, I almost forgot.

I have a present for you.

Ooh.

Oh, gee.

No, no.

In China, it's impolite to open
a gift in front of its bearer.

Oh, okay.
I'll open it later.

Okay.

Thank you.

You know, Leslie,
it's funny.

Here I am,
falling in love with you,

and I hardly know anything
about you.

Okay. Well,
what would you like to know?

Well, like,
what day you were born,

and how you've spent
every minute ever since?

[ Laughs ]

Okay. Well, let's see.

I was born and raised
in a little town

just outside of
Baltimore, Maryland.

Baltimore?

Yeah.

I went to medical school
at Johns Hopkins.

Johns Hopkins?

Yeah.

Did, uh,
you know a Dr. Felcher?

Elliott felcher?

Yeah.

Well, sure. Brilliant man.

When I was an intern,
I was lucky enough

to assist on a surgical team
he worked with.

Do you know him?

Yes.

He's the doctor
that gave the anesthesia

that k*lled my mother.

Oh, Leslie.

Yeah, Adam.

For all I know,
you could've been right there.

Leslie --

stay away from me.

Leslie: My darling, Adam,

inside is a qilin,
a Chinese symbol of good luck.

I know it works because I was
carrying it the day I met you.

All my love.
Leslie.

♪♪

Robert: Barbara?

Aren't you
gonna hear me out?

What could you possibly say?

Look. I'm sorry
your marriage fell apart.

But I can't accept the blame
for that.

You ruin people's lives.

I've got bags of mail
that say the opposite.

Now, I'm not the cause
of your divorce,

only the excuse.

-Are you finished?
-Yes, I'm through.

So are we.

♪♪

Carole:
Peking was wonderful, Burt,

filled with excitement
and love.

Yes, it was.
A time to remember.

Driver, stop here,
please.

Why are we stopping?

I'll tell you in a moment.

Carole, darling,
I must say goodbye.

Goodbye?

-Burt, where are you going?
-You have to trust me.

I -- I can't go back
to the ship.

But I love you.

Don't leave me!

Burt, don't go.

Burt, please.

You're my life,
all the life I have left.

Carole, I love you,

but I can't --

what is it, darling?
What's the matter?

What's wrong?

♪♪

Woman: Attention,
ladies and gentlemen.

The Pearl of scandinavia
will be sailing in minutes.

♪♪

Help,
will you, please?

Well, I'll be damned.

Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.

As we bid farewell
to the enchanting city

of Beijing and its port city
of xingang,

we set a -day course
for Hong Kong.

♪♪

[ Door opens ]

Ms. Stanton certainly
has an iron will.

Can I see her now,
doctor?

No, not now.
I just gave her a sedative.

She's going to be all right,
isn't she?

Well, we're doing the best
we can.

Is there anything
that I can do?

Yes.

Just make sure
she stays calm.

Doctor, what is it?

It's her heart.

I'm afraid any further shock
might prove fatal.

♪♪

Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.

At : ,
you are all welcome to attend

the wedding of joanne Morgan
to Greg munford.

The ceremony will be performed
by captain stubing

and will take place
on the observation deck.

All those wishing
to attend are welcome.

Hello, Greg.

Uh, Laurie.

-Yeah, would you, uh...
-Oh, sure.

Yeah.

Greg...

I hate losing you,

but I do wish you
the very best.

Thank you, Laurie.

And I hope you're not too upset
about that dumb joke

joanne and I pulled on you,

telling you that we were both
in love with gopher.

Both in love
with gopher?

Well, we only did it
because we were hurt.

And we wanted to get even
with you.

Greg, time to walk
the last mile, guy.

But I'd --

would you excuse us,
please?

But...

[ Wedding march plays ]

We are here to join this man
and this woman

in the holy state
of matrimony.

If any of you know
any reason

why they should
not be thus joined,

speak now or forever
hold your peace.

W -- wait a minute.

[ Crowd murmurs ]

Greg?

Look.
You lied to me.

And you also lied
to Laurie.

Well, you lied
to both of us.

Well, I guess one liar
in the family is enough.

Isn't that right?

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Laurie, I'm sorry
that I deceived you.

See, I got all mixed up.

I didn't really know
what I wanted.

And now I know
exactly what I want.

That's you, only you.

Can you forgive me?

I do.

Can you save that, "I do,"
for the ceremony?

♪♪

Go away, Adam.

Are you all right?

It's nothing.

Just a little pain
in my side.

Please don't touch me.

Well, you've got a fever.

Let me look at you,
Leslie.

Aah!

Aah!

All the signs
are there --

no appetite, fever,
sharp lower abdominal pain.

I could run
some blood tests,

but it looks like
appendicitis.

Well,
if you were thinking of --

Leslie, it's just
a routine operation.

No.

That's what they told
my mother.

♪♪

♪♪

Attention, all passengers.

Would Dr. Louise chen
please report to the bridge?

Dr. Chen to the bridge
immediately, please.

♪♪

I wish we would hurry
and get to Hong Kong.

Leslie,
there's a good chance

you'll never make it
to Hong Kong

if you don't
change your mind.

Absolutely not.

I told you,
you could operate.

No anesthesia.

And I told you
that's impossible.

[ Knock on door ]

Come in.

Adam, I think I have an answer
to the problem.

This is Dr. Chen.

She's an acupuncturist.

Well, how do you do,
doctor?

How can you help?

Acupuncture has been
used for many years

as a method
of anesthesia.

Would you be willing
to assist me on an appendectomy?

Of course!

Doc: Leslie?

Mm.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Right away.

♪♪

Hi.

Hi.

I know that
you're on vacation

and you don't want
to be bothered,

but I --

what's on your mind?

Being a bartender is
a lot like what you do.

I hope you don't mind,
but sometimes,

I quote your column

when my customers
ask me for advice.

My column?

I know,
no one's supposed to know

that dear Roberta's
on board.

And believe me,
I haven't told a soul

that you're here.

Go on.

It's not about me.

It's about my aunt Phyllis.

Things weren't going so well
in her marriage,

so she wrote to you
for advice.

My aunt Phyllis
would never forgive me

if she knew
I met dear Roberta

and didn't say
thank you personally.

What happened
with your aunt?

She and my uncle Larry

are celebrating
their th anniversary.

To them,
you're not just dear Roberta.

You're family.

Thank you for telling me that,
Isaac.

No, dear Roberta.

Thank you.

♪♪

Thank you.

Ms. Stanton,
shouldn't you be --

I won't be long.
I promise, captain.

Carole:
Hello. May I join you?

The same.

What are you doing here?
You should be in bed.

Not without you.

I love you, Burt.

We are unswerving.

No, darling, no.

Burt, please.

Look.

When we get back
to Hong Kong tomorrow,

i have a little business
I have to do ashore.

So I'm getting off
the moment we dock.

You sleep a little later.

Tomorrow night, : ,
the peninsula hotel bar.

Let's drink to that.

♪♪

Together.

Forever.

♪♪

How do you feel?

Pretty good, considering.

Guess my number
wasn't up after all.

You were very brave
in that operating room.

It's easy to be brave
when you don't feel any pain.

Please thank Dr. Chen
for me.

I will.

Thank you too, Adam.

You're a very good doctor.

Thank you.

♪♪

I've been looking for you.

If you're here for round two,
I pass.

Just listen.

I heard you out.

Dear Roberta...

I fell in love with a man
on a cruise

but scuttled
the relationship

when I blamed him for something
I was responsible for.

My question is,

after the rotten way
I've treated him...

...how do I tell him
I love him

and don't want
to lose him?

Signed,
distressed at sea.

♪♪

Dear distressed at sea,

there is no short answer
to your story.

I'm afraid my response
might take years.

Now that's the kind of advice
I like.

♪♪

On behalf of the entire crew,

I'd like to welcome
all of you back to Hong Kong.

We hope you enjoyed
your cruise,

and we look forward
to having you sail with us

again in the future.

♪♪

Joanne! Listen.
We just wanted to say good-bye.

Oh, good luck, you two.
Listen.

I -- I hope
there's no hard feelings.

No hard feelings.

Oh, good.

In that case, give me a call
if you know anyone

that wants to buy
a slightly-used wedding dress.

[ Both laugh ]

I'll see you later.
-Bye.

Gopher, how can I thank you?

Easy, guy.

Just take joanne back
to the ming tombs,

and I'll take Laurie
on the honeymoon.

Hi!

Hello.

Thanks for your help,
both of you.

Oh, I'm really glad
things worked out.

I really feel
like cupid.

Me, too.

And don't worry.
I've kept your secret.

I got another secret
for you.

You?

Ah.

[ Laughs ]

Leslie!

Oh, I can't tell you
how happy I am

to see you up and around.

Oh, you look terrific.

We were really worried
about you.

Thanks, Vicki.

But I owe it all
to Adam...

Aw.

...and, uh, Dr. Chen,
of course.

You're forgetting
my other assistant.

He never left my side
throughout the entire operation.

What is it?

It's the qilin
I gave Adam.

In China,
it's a good luck piece.

Soon, I'll be putting it
to an even bigger test.

If it really does work,

some day, it'll bring us
back together again.

Come on, Charlie.
Do we have to have these cuffs?

I'm not gonna run away.

Charlie: You did once.

Now, I'm going
by the book.

This ain't
no traffic violation, Burt.

You did m*rder a man.

At least
put your coat over 'em.

Carole: Burt!

Burt!

I thought you were
going to sleep late.

I tried,

but when I stopped
dreaming about you,

I woke up.

I love you.

I love you, too.

♪♪

Don't forget --
the peninsula bar, : .

♪♪

♪♪

Oh, I can't believe
this trip is over already.

Yeah, it's gonna
be a real culture shock

being back in the states.

I know.

I think I've forgotten
how to eat with a fork.

-Hi, guys.
-Hi!

-Are you ready to go home?
-No!

No.

Merrill:
It's almost : .

We should be getting
to the airport.

Where's Adam?

Julie: At the bar.

Merrill: Excuse me.

It's been some kind
of trip for you, Adam.

Yeah.

How's Leslie?

I was with her this afternoon.
She's doing fine.

Good. I'm glad.

I'm just thinking
about Burt and Carole.

He gets carted off to prison,
and she --

Adam,
you did all that you could.

Her heart
just ran out of beats.

Oh, it's a shame.

She had so much
to live for.

I know.

I really thought they were meant
to be together forever.

♪♪

Merrill, look.

[ Glasses shatter ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪