06x22 - I Like to Be in America/He Ain't Heavy/Abby's Maiden Voyage

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making
another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something
for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard,
it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

Hi. Neil Holmes.

Well, hello.
Welcome aboard.

I'm Julie McCoy.
Let me see, Mr. Holmes.

Oh, you're on the fiesta deck,
cabin .

Thank you.

Pretty girl, huh?

Yes, uh, but I'm not interested
in pursuing girls.

-Oh?
-Of course,

if she should throw herself
at my feet, I'd probably submit.

I'm a very compassionate man.
-I see.

Enjoy your cruise.

Thanks.

Hello.
I'm, uh, tisha Hudson,

and this is Abby foster.

Hello.
Welcome aboard.

You're on the promenade deck,
cabin .

You haven't seen a good-looking
guy pass by, have you?

Could you be more specific?

I've seen quite a few.
-Good!

Um, just make up a list of their
names and cabin numbers

for my friend here.

Tisha, please!

I'm perfectly capable
of finding a guy all by myself.

Well, you're , and you haven't
found the right one yet.

How soon can I get that list?

I really can't give you
that kind of information,

but I'm sure a girl with
your looks can find a dozen men.

-A dozen?
-Uh-huh.

Is it too late
to change my mind?

If you want to.

No, I guess it's got
to happen sometime.

You'll have
to excuse my friend.

She's a little nervous.

You see,
this is her maiden voyage.

-Oh, hello.
-Hi.

We're George
and Phyllis cowens,

and this fine young man
is our son, Jimmy.

Well, welcome aboard.

I'm sure
you'll all enjoy the cruise.

Oh, we hope so.

This cruise is Jimmy's
high school graduation present,

so we're hoping everything
will be perfect for him.

Believe me,
he won't be disappointed.

I'm sure I'll have a great time.

Let's see.
You're in aloha ,

and you're right next door
in aloha ,

Mr. and Mrs. Cowens.

-Ah. Thank you.
-Enjoy your cruise.

Jimmy, if there's anything
you don't like about your cabin,

now, you be sure
to let us know, okay?

Sure, mom.
But, uh, right now,

I'm going to take a walk
around the deck, all right?

I'll see you later.
-Okay, son.

See you later.

Uh, excuse me.

Could you take this
to my cabin?

Aloha , please.

Let me get you a steward.
I don't handle luggage.

Uh, here's bucks.

Now do you handle luggage?

I'm sorry,
but that isn't my job.

Hey, come on.
Anyone can use bucks.

I'm sure anybody
can use bucks.

So, why don't you
keep it for yourself?

Rick, can you help
this gentleman with his luggage?

Aloha .

Hi, Greg.

Isaac,
why do people with money

think they can get you
to do anything?

What do you mean?

Some obnoxious kid
thought I'd carry his bag

just because he shoved
bucks in my face.

Some nerve.

I'd like to see him try that
with me, a lot.

-Oh, sir.
-Yes?

Come here, look at this.

I found a. Lopez
listed on the manifest.

Do suppose
that's April Lopez?

Well, I don't think so,
gopher.

I'm sure she'd tell us
if she were coming.

Yeah, I guess there are a lot
of a. Lopezes, huh?

-Cuchi, cuchi!
-April!

There may be a lot
of a. Lopezes,

but there's only one
April.

Capitán!
Gopher!

What a surprise!

Not for me,
I knew I was coming.

April,
it's great to see you.

How are you
and Mr. York doing?

Mr. York and me are over.

Uh-oh, what happened?

Another woman came between us,
his mama.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Hey, life isn't always
feast or famine.

Sometimes it's indigestion.

Anyway, I am taking this cruise
so I can see you,

my best friends,

for the last time.
-For the last time?

How come?
Where you going?

I'm going to live back
home in Mexico.

I am never coming back
to america.

But I thought
you liked living here?

Oh, I do, capitán.

I love it more than anything
in the whole world,

but to stay here, I have
to take a citizen test.

And I could never
pass that.

Why not?

Tests make me
too nervous.

I break out
in moose bump.

That'd make anyone nervous.

Anyway, April,
you are on aloha deck .

Thank you, gopher.

Anyway, going back to Mexico,
it won't be so bad.

I love Mexico.

Ay, chihuahua.

I hope they can understand
my American accent.

We have to think of some way
to keep April in america.

I've got it, sir.
Don't pull up anchor.

I'll keep working on it.

[ Air horn blows ]

Abby, are you sure you want
to go through with this?

Oh, I'm positive.

I'm tired of being a freak
in the modern world.

Virginity
is hardly freaky.

At ,
what would you call it?

Well, perhaps odd.

No, definitely odd.

Well, I'm the only definitely
odd person in our office.

I bet I'm the only definitely
odd person aboard this ship.

I'm probably the only
definitely odd person

left in the world.

We've got to get someone
that's incredible.

What I don't understand is,

what stopped you from
going through with it before?

Well, every time
it's about to happen,

I panic
and get the giggles.

Oh, in that case,
we'll have to find a man

with a strong ego
or a great sense of humor.

Tisha, you're the sexiest girl
I know.

So, how do I
turn a guy on?

Try this.

It's guaranteed
to turn guys on fast.

Well, I hope it works.

But where's the rest
of it?

You're the rest of it.

I hope Jimmy's
enjoying himself.

I'm sure he is, dear.

Last time I saw him,

he was jogging around the deck
to stay in shape.

Imagine,
a scholarship to usc.

What he lacks in size,

he certainly
makes up in determination.

I'll say.

He's the best gymnast
in the state.

Honestly, Phyllis, I couldn't
be prouder of that boy

if he were our own flesh
and blood.

George, he's been with us
for years.

He is
our flesh and blood.

Dad,
I decided not to try out

for the gymnastic team
at usc.

I'm going straight
to the Olympics.

[ Laughter ]

Hey, Isaac.

There's that spoiled brat
I told you about.

Oh, well, looks like
today's your lucky day.

Why?

These are for his parents.

Great.

Look on the bright side,

maybe they'll insult you
with another big tip.

Here you go, folks.

Two piña coladas.
-Thank you.

Oh, you shouldn't leave this out
on the table like this,

Mr. Cowens.
Could get lost.

Hands off!
That's mine!

Don't worry about it.

Jimmy won't let
anybody touch that.

That's his
good luck charm.

He got it for scoring
a perfect on the high bar

in the state championships.

Yeah?
That's really something.

Yeah, right.
Bring me a cola, would you?

Yes, sir.

You were a little short
with him, weren't you, son?

Yeah, well,
he was very rude to me

when we boarded the ship.

Oh, I thought it was something.

Now, you know Jimmy
wouldn't be rude to someone

unless he had a good reason.

April, I can't believe

you're afraid
of the citizenship test.

You're such
an intelligent person.

Oh, Julie, Julie, Julie.

You know me,
but you don't know me.

Ever since
I was a little girl,

whenever there was a test
in the school, bingo!

I would get all sweaty
in the palms

and lump in the throat.

That's normal.

Of course, if you had
lumpy palms and a sweaty throat,

that'd be a problem.

I'm trying to help.
-Okay.

Okay.
You are my good friends,

but this is something
that cannot be helped.

If I try to take,
uh, that test,

I am going to have
a nervous breakup.

That's breakdown.

See what I mean?

Just thinking about it makes
me lose my direction.

Julie, gopher,
have you seen April?

Oh, yes, sir.
She just left.

Oh.

Well, I'd like to have
you meet judge Kramer.

This is Julie McCoy,
burl Smith.

-How do you do?
-How do you do?

Judge Kramer
is very familiar

with the immigration
departments.

And their
citizenship tests.

Yes, and she's been
kind enough to make a list

of some of the most
important questions they ask.

Oh, that's great.

Now we can help April
with the test.

Boy, these questions
look tough.

I'm glad
I'm not in April's shoes.

Good, you don't have the legs
for high heels.

♪♪

Hmm.

Good-looking group of guys
to choose from.

I guess you've noticed
that already.

That one's cute.

Okay.

Watch carefully.

Attention-getter
number one.

Now you try.

Look, uh,
maybe we'd better split up.

Well, a guy's a lot more likely
to approach a girl

if she's alone.

Well, how will I know
what to do?

You'll know.

Just look sexy.

Think sexy.

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations,
soft music plays ]

.

One of our favorites.

We like it so well,

we ordered the entrée
to go with the wine.

Excellent taste.
It's a fine wine.

This corks looks
a little dry, dad.

[ Sniffs ]

I think you should send it back
and order another bottle.

George:
Well, if you say so, son.

Um, may we have
another bottle, please?

But, sir, wouldn't you at least
like to taste it first?

He's right, George.
At least try it.

It does taste all right.

It should taste better
than all right, dad.

As long as you're paying,
don't you deserve the best?

Maybe the boy is right,
Phyllis.

Um, another bottle please.

Whatever you say, sir.

Don't worry, April.
We're going to teach you

everything you need to know
to pass that test.

Yeah, and I can help you
with American history,

it's my best subject.

Sure, and I've seen
"Mr. Smith goes to Washington"

at least nine times.

If that doesn't qualify me
as an authority

on American government,
nothing does.

So you see, April,
you don't have anything

to be nervous about.

Come on, April.
What do you say?

Gopher: Come on.
Come on.

How can I say no when you
look at me through your faces

like that?

Yes.
I'll do it.

-Hooray!
-All right!

A toast to April Lopez,
future American citizen.

Mm, I like that.

It has a nice ringing
in my ears.

That guy you were interested
in last afternoon

is sitting right there.

I know,
but I am so embarrassed

about falling into the pool,
I can't even look at him.

Well, maybe it's time
you tried a different approach.

Well, I think falling into
the pool is a little different.

I meant direct approach.

Just walk right up to him,
introduce yourself,

and, uh, tell him
you find him interesting.

I can't do that.

Why not?

Oh, because
it's just not me.

Well, then it's about time
it was you.

You're right.

I'm going to go over there,
introduce myself,

and tell him I find
him absolutely fascinating.

If I can find him
at all.

♪♪

Man, at dinner,
I had to go back three times

before I found a bottle of wine
he'd let his father accept.

Well, Greg,
it's quite possible

we could've gotten a case
that was bad.

Isaac, the only thing bad
around here is that kid.

He's a royal pain
in the neck.

Well, don't let him
get to you.

After all, the customer
is always right.

Excuse me,
I can't drink this lemon coke.

Could you make me
another one, please?

What's wrong with it,
sir?

It's much too sour.
Be right back.

What's he talking about?
This is perfect.

Now Isaac, remember?
The customer's always right.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

Look, uh,
I know how much girls

hate guys who are always
trying to hit on them.

Oh, yeah.

I hate that.

If I promise
not to make a pass,

could we have
a drink together?

Oh, sure.
Your cabin or mine?

Funny, I thought you said,
"your cabin or mine?"

I did.

I did.

♪♪

Okay, next question.
Vicki?

Let's see.

When did congress adopt
the declaration of independence?

It was adopted?

Chihuahua.

It always thought
it was born right in america.

You're right, April, it was,
but do you know when?

Not for sure.

I know it happened
before I got there.

Vicki?

The congress voted it
in July , .

The fourth of July!

They were working
on a holiday?

I'm gonna go
to another question.

Oh, here's one.

Yeah, this is
one of my favorites

and I hope one of yours.
Okay.

What is the president's cabinet
made up of?

Wood?

No, we call it
the president's cabinet

because it consists of
his most trusted advisors.

Oh, I got it.

They call it the cabinet

because the president keeps
all his important people in it,

right?
-Right!

-Ah!
-Let's keep going.

Okay, yes.

I'm ready for more questions.
sh**t me another.

sh**t me another.

Maybe I should turn
the lights off.

Abby, you just
turned them back on.

Well, I just want to make sure
we do it the right way.

-Is there a wrong way?
-No.

Oh, of course not.

I mean, any way
that I've ever done it

has always been
the right way.

Abby,
if you'd like me to leave...

No.
Um, kiss me.

[ Laughing ]

What is it?

What's what?

What's so funny?

Oh, don't ask me.

You're the one
that's laughing.

Look, Neil,
if you're not in the mood,

then you're just, um,
not in the mood.

Who's not in the mood?

Oh, look.
I understand.

I am just not
one of those girls

who would force myself
on a guy.

Oh, who am I trying to kid?

♪♪

Ah, just the person
I was looking for.

Sir,
what can I do for you?

I'd like something cold
to drink.

Sure. Let me finish
cleaning these empties.

I'll be right with you.

Can't the empties wait?
I'm thirsty now.

I'll be with you
in a second, okay?

Has it always been
this ship's policy

to hire to rude employees?
-I'm not rude.

Rude, and you've got a chip
on your shoulder,

and I know why.

It's because you have to do
this menial kind of work

for a living
and I don't.

Take it easy, kid.
Your mouth is working overtime.

I have the right
to say anything I want.

I'm a passenger.

Don't push your luck.

You just don't know
your place.

That's your problem.

And this is your problem.

Look. I'm sorry.
Are you okay?

You're finished
on this ship.

Excuse me.

What's going on in here?

Nothing, captain.

I just tripped.

That's all.

One nation
under god, indivisible,

with Liberty and justice
for all.

Perfect.
Perfect, April.

How's our star student
doing?

Oh, gopher,
she's great.

April knows more about america
than we do.

I got everything perfect,
right in the nose.

That's great, April,

'cause I got
a little surprise for you.

This is judge Kramer.

A judge?

Yeah, now, just relax.

She's gonna
ask you a few questions

so you'll have an idea
of what the real test is like.

A real test?

Okay, judge.
Go ahead.

Ask her anything.

All right.

A test usually
begins with the examiner

asking you to state your name.

My name?

My name.

Yes.
Your name, please.

Go ahead, April.
Tell her your name.

I...uh, I can't.

I can't.

My brain -- my brain is frozen.

[ Crying ]

I can't!

Oh, April.
April, come back.

April.

She doesn't even
know her own name?

Well, we didn't go
over that part.

Abby, I'm beginning to think
you're hopelessly victorian.

Well, tisha, I know I would've
gone through with it

if it hadn't been
for the lighting.

Mm-hmm.

What's your excuse
gonna be this time?

Watch this.

-Hi.
-Hi.

You, uh,
wouldn't want to pick up

where we left off
last night, right?

Wrong!

Oh, then
I guess we should just

head on down
to the ol' cabin.

I'm right behind you.

Well, that is unless

you want to finish
your breakfast first.

I just went on a diet.
I choose immediately.

Well, it is a little early
in the morning.

Not for me.
I'm a morning man.

This is the time of the day
that I feel the most physical.

Oh, me too.

Well -- well,
then I've got it.

Let's go swimming.

Just what I had in mind.

Here we go.
Who had grapefruit juice?

I did, Isaac.
Thank you.

All right.
And your juice.

-Morning.
-Morning, son.

-Morning.
-Ah.

Jimmy,
what happened to you?

Oh, it's nothing.

I slipped in the shower
and bruised my hip.

Orange juice, please.
-Certainly.

Well, it looks
like your friend

slipped in the shower
and hurt himself.

The fates got even.

It wasn't the fates.

It was me, I shoved him.

You did that
to a passenger?

I can't believe it either.

He just pushed me
too far.

The kid's a creep.

You know, he could
get you fired for that.

Had his chance,

but he didn't say anything
to the captain.

Can't be too much
of a creep, then.

I guess you're right.

Maybe he just wants to put
the whole thing behind him.

That's a good idea.

Why don't you
forget about it, too?

Forget what?

-Oh, April, morning.
-Good morning.

-Buenos días.
-Where you been?

We been looking
all over for you.

I was getting my exercise.

I was jiggling around.
-Try jogging.

No thanks,
I just finished jiggling.

Hey, uh,
I'm very sorry.

I got so upset last night,

but when the judge
starts to ask me questions,

I get so nervous
that my mind goes blank.

Well,
don't worry, April.

We're going to find some way
for you to pass that test.

Yeah, bet on it.

-Hey.
-Hmm?

What are the odds?

I really enjoyed that swim,
didn't you?

Yes, for the first hour.

I don't think
I'll ever get the wrinkles

out of my fingertips.

Well, maybe
we can smooth them out later.

You know, you're so
off-again, on-again,

I can't figure it out.

There's something
really different about you.

You don't know
how right you are.

Whatever it is,
I think I like it.

How about something
to drink?

Sure.

-You got it.
-Thanks.

-Hi.
-Hi.

I've been reading an article
in this magazine,

and it could be the answer
to your problem last night.

What is it?

Well, remember when you said
how you kept turning

the lights off and on?
-Uh-huh.

Well, it says here
that that could be

a little leftover fear
of the night from childhood.

That could be
what's causing those giggles.

Well, if this is true,

then I won't even snicker
in the daylight.

Greg: Yeah, coming.

Well, this is a surprise.

Come on in.

You know, I was just thinking
of going to look for you.

-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.

Uh, I want to apologize
for what I did last night,

and I'd like to thank you
for not saying anything.

Yeah? Well,
save me the gratitude.

I'm not here
to make friends.

Why are you here?

Well, now
that no one's around,

I thought I'd repay you
for this.

I want to have it out
with you once and for all.

Forget it, kid,
I'm a lot bigger than you.

Yeah, well, I'll cut you
down to my size.

Look, this is stupid.
I don't want to fight you.

Well, it's not gonna be
a fight,

it's gonna be a m*ssacre.

I'm going to beat
your head in.

Come on.

My god.

Where did you get
this picture?

I've had it all my life.

Is that you?

Yeah, what's it to you?

I'll show you what it is
to me.

It's me, too.

You're
Gregory Steven Leonard.

You were born
August , .

It's me, Jimmy.

Your brother.

You're not my brother.

Of course
I'm your brother.

Look at the picture.
How can you say that?

I can say that

because I don't want you
to be my brother.

What?
-You know,

i prayed all my life some day
I'd find you again.

I should've also prayed
you'd be worth finding.

Get out of my cabin.

♪♪

Abby, I'm beginning
to feel like a yo-yo.

Well, it's time to play

some more adult games
now, Neil.

Kiss me.

[ Laughing ]

No, not again.

Where you going?

To throw this magazine
in the ocean.

Welcome to magnificent
acapulco,

ladies and gentlemen.

Parachuting, snorkeling,
sailing,

or just lazing on the beach.

Take your pick, they're
all yours for the asking.

Enjoy your day.

Wish that judge
would get here already.

Oh, me too.
I feel like I'm the one

taking the exam,
not April.

How you doing, April?

Fine.

Fine.

You're not nervous,
are you?

Nope.

Nope.

The tranquilizer
I gave her must be working.

[ Knock on door ]

-I'll get it.
-I'll get it.

Oh, judge Kramer.

How nice of you to come.
Thank you.

We really appreciate it,

particularly after
what happened last night.

I can certainly understand
why Ms. Lopez was so anxious.

I remember when I had
to take my bar exam.

Oh, she's gonna
do a lot better today.

She's really eager
and excited.

Aren't you, April?

April?

She doesn't look very eager
and excited to me.

April, wake up.

April?

It must be
the tranquilizer.

Am I an American yet?

Man, it's hard to believe

Jimmy turning out
to be your long-lost brother.

Yeah,
I wish he'd stayed lost.

I'm surprised
the adoption service

let the cowens
split up brothers.

The cowens
didn't split us up,

I did.

I ran away from the orphanage
before Jimmy got adopted.

But why?

Isaac,
when most people adopt kids,

they're only interested
in the cute, little ones,

like Jimmy.

He was only then.

But when any would-be parents
discover

there's an older brother
included in the package,

they always backed out.

I wanted Jimmy to have a shot
at a good home,

i knew that just wasn't gonna
happen with me around.

Can I ask you
a personal question?

Sure.

Do you remember
how you felt the day

you ran away
from the orphanage?

Yeah, I remember.

I was scared, lonely,
and I missed Jimmy.

Greg, you ran away
because you loved your brother.

If you can remember that love
now, don't run away again.

I don't know, Isaac.
It just isn't the same.

-Thank you.
-You bet.

-Oh, thank you.
-Thanks.

Well, tish, tonight's the night.
Wish me luck.

Oh, I do, but you have
to make your own luck, Abby.

I know, and I intend to.

I'm going to go
through with this tonight

if I have to giggle
to the bitter end.

Mad at me?

Not really,

but if I had to depend on you
for my love life,

I might as well
join a monastery.

I know it looks
as if I've been

leading you on.
-I'll live.

What difference could
one shipboard romance make?

More than you'll ever know.

I guess you're right,
it could make a difference.

Dance?

All right.

Frankly, the single scene
is beginning to bore me.

Really? Why?

I guess I'm changing.

Getting tired of the fast flow
and right to bed.

I have a little trouble
dealing with that myself.

My friends think I'm either
getting old or going crazy.

My dad always said
the most important thing

was to do
what you felt was right,

even if the whole world
thinks you're crazy.

And for what it's worth,
I think you're pretty terrific.

I'd love to kiss you
right now,

but I'm not
in a laughing mood.

Neither am I.

Maybe we should
give it a shot.

I think we could be
on to something.

Sure, in a public place,

but what happens
when I get you alone?

There's only one way
to find out.

♪♪

April,
I wish there was some way

we could talk you into
coming back to america with us.

What can be said?

The handwriting was on the boat.

-On the wall.
-It was there, too?

April, if your mind is made up,
we can't stop you,

but, uh,

we'd love it if you would sing
again before you leave.

Of course I do.

Thank you,
and it means a lot to all of us.

Listen, if I cannot be mean
to you, who can I be mean to?

Oh, that's great.

Thanks, April.
We'll see you in the lounge.

-Thanks very much.
-Bye-bye.

Adios.

You know what's funny?

April can stand up
in front of hundreds of people

and sing and dance
and play the guitar,

but she can't stand up
in front of one judge and answer

a few simple questions
about america.

-Captain, that's brilliant.
-It is?

Yes, and you're a genius.

-I am?
-Yes!

Jimmy, darling?

I've been
looking all over for you.

We were worried, son.

That's not like you
to be so, well, moody.

Mom, dad,
what would you say

if I told you...
I found my brother?

Jimmy, have you really?

I can't believe it,
after all these years of trying.

Did you find him
on the ship?

Gregory,
the ship's bartender.

The one that served us
at dinner last night?

Are you sure?
-Positive.

He has the same picture
I have in my wallet.

Oh, Jimmy,
I'm so happy for both of you.

Don't be.
He hates me.

He doesn't want to have anything
to do with me.

Jimmy,
how could anybody hate you?

He just needs time
to adjust to the shock.

Yeah, lots of time.

Like,
the rest of our lives.

Is there anything
we can do, son?

No, dad.

You and mom
have been great to me.

You've given me everything
I ever wanted.

The only thing I had to go
without was a brother,

and now it looks like
that's not gonna change.

Unless you change it, Jimmy.

♪♪

Neil?

Yeah?

I can do it,
I know I can.

Fantastic.
What are we waiting for?

Well, now that --
now that I know I can,

I don't think I will.

Tell me you didn't say
what I just heard you say.

I think it's about time
you knew something about me.

Abby, believe me, nothing
about you could change the way

that I feel about you
right now.

I'm a virgin.

Except maybe that.

No wonder.

Why didn't you tell
me before this?

Well, I was embarrassed.

I felt like a freak,

but all the time
that we were kissing,

i -- I kept thinking
about having the courage

to do what I know is right
for me

even if the whole world
thinks I'm crazy.

I want you
to know I understand.

I'm not happy about it,
but I understand.

Well,
I'm glad that you do,

but tisha will tease me
for not going through with this.

I tell you what,
to save your reputation,

I'll tell tisha that we made
mad and passionate love.

Oh, Neil,
thanks but no thanks.

I think that I'll just
tell tisha I feel it's all right

to be the way I am.

And I think the giggles
were nature's way of stopping me

from doing something
that I really didn't want to do.

I'm just not ready yet.

Okay.

But how about
a ballpark figure?

Will you be ready
in an hour?

Two weeks?

Seven years?

Why do you want to know?

Because I intend to wait.

[ Intro plays ]

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen,

tonight we have a very special
treat for you.

A great friend of mine
and a superb entertainer,

Ms. April Lopez.

[ Spanish guitar plays ]

♪ I know something about love ♪

♪ you've got to want it bad ♪

♪ if that guy's got
into your blood ♪

♪ go out and get him ♪

♪ if you want him to be
the very part of you ♪

♪ that makes you want
to breathe ♪

♪ here's the thing to do ♪

♪ tell him that
you're never gonna leave him ♪

♪ tell him that you're always
gonna love him ♪

♪ tell him, tell him,
tell him, tell him right now ♪

♪ I know something about love ♪

♪ you got to show him
and make him ♪

♪ see that moon up above,
go out and get it ♪

♪ and if you want him to
make your heart sing out ♪

♪ if you want him to
always think of you ♪

♪ tell him that you're
never gonna leave him ♪

♪ tell him that you're always
gonna love him ♪

♪ tell him, tell him,
tell him, tell him right now ♪

Wow!

♪ Tell him that you're never
gonna leave him ♪

♪ tell him that you're always
gonna love him ♪

♪ tell him, tell him,
tell him ♪

♪ tell him right now ♪

One more time!

♪ Tell him that you're never
gonna leave him ♪

♪ tell him that you're always
gonna love him ♪

♪ tell him, tell him ♪

[ Speaking Spanish ]

Now!

Mi guitarra, por favor.
Gracias.

Judge, you're on.

Ms. Lopez?

Yes?

Tell me, Ms. Lopez,

how many members are there
in the house of representatives?

♪ For me,
cuatrocientos treinta y cinco ♪

♪ for you, ♪

That is correct.

Next, would you answer this?

Who wrote the declaration
of independence?

♪ It was
Thomas Jefferson ♪

Correct.

And now, tell us,
what is the bill of rights?

The bill of right

is the first amendments
to the constitution.

They include freedom of speech,
freedom of religion,

freedom of the press,

and the right to the --

come se dice
short sleeves?

Short sleeves?

Bear arms!

[ Laughs ]
Close enough.

Ms. Lopez should have no trouble
passing her citizenship test.

Ah!

♪ I'm a yankee doodle dandy ♪

♪ yankee doodle, do or die ♪

♪ a real live nephew
of my uncle Sam ♪

♪ born on the th of July ♪

♪ yankee doodle went to London ♪

♪ just to ride the ponies ♪

♪ I am a yankee doodle boy ♪

A boy?
Oh, boy!

We're now leaving acapulco,
ladies and gentlemen.

I hope you've enjoyed
your evening

as much as I've enjoyed mine.

Hi.

I've been looking
all over for you.

Uh, I brought you this.

What is it?

Open it up.
You'll see.

This is
your gymnastics metal.

It means a lot to me,
but I wanted you to have it.

I don't understand.

Growing up alone,

i never had to share
anything with anybody.

Now that I have a brother,

I thought it'd be a good time
to start.

It's a little late for that,
isn't it?

It's never too late
to start.

I don't know, Jimmy.

I don't know
if this can work between us.

Gregory, I -- I know
that I'm not the image

of the brother you wanted,

but you got to decide
what you want,

the image or the brother.

I've already made up
my mind.

And I've made up mine...
Brother.

I guess
I disappointed you,

but I decided not to join
the sexual revolution.

Abby,
the sexual revolution

didn't mean everybody
had to have sex.

It just meant
we all had a choice.

And I like my choice
very much.

For a guy
who doesn't pursue women,

you seem to be doing
very well.

Funny how when you
stop chasing after women,

you seem to find exactly what
you were looking for all along,

even if you still have to wait.

Oh, believe me,
it'll be worth it.

Frankly, I kind of
enjoy the chase myself.

Well, to each her own.

I couldn't have
said it better.

Well, lots of luck
to you, Greg.

I'm just sorry
you're leaving us.

Oh, thank you, Isaac.

Jimmy and I have a lot
of catching up to do.

We lost a lot
of good years.

Yeah, but think of all the years
we have to look forward to.

Well,
the pacific Princess' loss

is our gain.
-Thank you.

You sure you won't mind
me staying with you for a while?

For as long
as you'd like, Gregory.

In our house, there's always
room for one more.

Great.
I'll be packed in minutes!

So long.
-Goodbye.

Bye-bye.

Goodbye, judge Kramer,
and thank you.

I can pass
the citizen test now

because you gave me
so much self-compliment.

Well, you were a big hit
last night in the lounge.

If you ever want to get an act
together,

I'm available.
Bye-bye.

-Goodbye.
-Bye.

Goodbye, judge.
Thank you.

April,
we're all very proud of you.

Yeah, you proved you
could pass the exam.

Well, I could not do it
without my friends, okay?

Muchas gracias.
Thank you.

Gopher!

Hey, aren't I
your friend, too?

Of course you are.
Ah!

April, when it's time
for your swearing in,

we're all gonna go
down to the courthouse

with you
and be your witnesses.

And we'll bring along
your guitar just in case.

Listen, with all of you there,
how can I miss?

Just do what you did
last night.

You mean this?

Cuchi, cuchi, cuchi!
-Yeah.

Well, if that doesn't keep you
in this country,

nothing will.

Ah!