♪ Love ♪
♪ exciting and new ♪
♪ come aboard ♪
♪ we're expecting you ♪
♪ and love ♪
♪ life's sweetest reward ♪
♪ let it flow ♪
♪ it floats back to you ♪
♪ the love boat ♪
♪ soon will be making
another run ♪
♪ the love boat ♪
♪ promises something
for everyone ♪
♪ set a course for adventure ♪
♪ your mind on a new romance ♪
♪ and love ♪
♪ won't hurt anymore ♪
♪ it's an open smile ♪
♪ on a friendly shore ♪
♪ it's love ♪
♪ welcome aboard,
it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪
Your sun Princess looks
like it's a wonderful ship,
captain nordquist.
It must have
an excellent crew.
They have
an excellent captain.
Oh, there you are.
Perfect.
I want a picture of you two
old salty sea dogs together.
Uh, right over here.
Right over here, gentlemen --
against the wall.
That's nice.
Now, if you'll just stand
a little closer together.
Good.
Charlie, take it low. Ah...
Captain nordquist, sir?
If you would be smiling,
that would be very nice.
I am smiling.
Yes, ah, okay.
Happy...happy...
And sh**t it.
Perfect.
Okay, now go inside
and take a picture
of the three of us
walking in.
We'll all be smiling
when we walk in.
We'll just go in
for the opening ceremony,
and we're gonna love this.
Here we go --
snap it, Charlie.
May we help you?
Oh, thanks.
I'm Ellen Van Bowen.
This is Jesse dobson.
How do you do?
How do you do?
We think we're
on this deck.
Ha ha!
Van Bowen...
Yes! Yes, you are.
You are in cabin ,
which is w-a-ay over...
There.
If we can be of service,
please don't hesitate.
Oh, thanks.
That won't be necessary.
We plan to stay
in our cabin the whole trip.
So I guess the only thing
you boys can do
is just knock on that door
when we get back to Los Angeles.
I think people
are starting to take
these "love boat" ads
way too seriously.
And I think we better
get to the lobby
or we'll miss
the ceremony.
Ladies and gentlemen,
can I have your attention,
please?
How are you?
For those very few of you
who don't know who I am,
I'm Steve blum.
As the publicity director for
the cruise ship association,
it's my pleasure
to welcome you to the klondike
carnival cruise competition.
Thank you.
We will be matching the crew
of the pacific Princess,
under the leadership
of captain merrill stubing...
Against...
The crew
of the sun Princess,
under the leadership
of captain Gunnar nordquist.
Thank you.
Now...
The first round
of the competition
will begin
in Vancouver, Canada.
Then, after a short stopover
in Juneau,
the second and final round
will take place
in ketchikan, Alaska.
Good luck,
and may the best boat...Win!
Ha ha!
Thank you.
Very nice,
Mr. Blum.
I thought you said
Barbara Walters would be here.
Oh, she'll probably, uh,
meet us in Vancouver.
Mm.
Listen, could we go somewhere
and discuss the details?
My office
is available.
Something wrong
with your leg, sir?
Oh, uh, nothing major --
just pulled a few ligaments.
Anything to avoid
the competition, eh, stubing?
Harry, you really didn't
need to see me off.
I'm on my own now.
Hey, Dorothy,
we're still friends.
Besides, who else
would schlep all your luggage?
Would you stop
babying me?
You've been doing that
for ...Years.
Hello.
Hi, welcome aboard.
I'm Adam bricker,
ship's doctor.
Oh. Meecham --
Ms. Dorothy meecham...
Adam.
Ah...meecham.
There must be a mistake here.
I see a Mrs. meecham,
but no Ms. or Mr.
No. No,
you got it right.
The mistake was
Mr. and Mrs. Meecham.
She's Dorothy,
I'm Harry meecham --
my wife's future ex-husband.
I won't be going along
with you. You see --
Harry...could we please
just enjoy our cruise?
Both? But I thought
you weren't going.
Oh, I'm going,
but, you see,
I'm going on your other ship
that's sailing to Alaska --
the sun Princess.
Which is about to sail
from way over there.
Yeah, right, right.
Well, bon voyage.
Enjoy whatever it is
you're hoping to enjoy.
Bye.
Oh!
Harry, you forgot
your bag.
Ooh.
Oh,
thank you.
My, uh, soon-to-be ex-wife
was throwing that at me.
I'm sailing
on the sun Princess.
[ Norwegian accent ] Good.
Let me show you the way.
I work there.
I'm the masseuse.
I'd like to make
an appointment...
For the entire week.
Ja, your body looks
like it could use
some strong hands
on it.
I've seen that woman
somewhere before.
I don't know where...
It bothers me.
Maybe you're just not used to
seeing him with any other woman.
That's not it.
No, we were hoping something
like this would happen.
Well, I guess
I shouldn't worry.
He's in good,
strong hands...
Maybe I am, too.
[ Telephone rings ]
Yes, sir?
Excuse me.
Uh, my name's Dave pursinger.
Ah, Mr. Pursinger, yes --
fiesta deck, cabin .
Uh, tell me -- all these parties
you have scheduled
for the carnival cruise...
Do I need a date
to get in?
You certainly don't,
sir.
But we practically guarantee
you'll have one when you leave.
Just a sec.
Excuse me...Um,
two large special-delivery
boxes arrive for me yet?
Name's Van damme --
Dr. Van damme.
Well, Dr. Van damme,
why don't we check?
This way.
Excuse me...
Where could I find
a brochure
on the carnival games?
Uh, take mine -- I've already
read them anyway.
Thank you.
Uh, this is
Mr. Dave pursinger.
Hi, nice to meet you.
And you're...
Megan --
Megan Lewis.
Megan Lewis.
Oh, say, I have
some extra confetti.
It's more than one person
could possibly throw.
Maybe we could go out
on the deck together
or something?
I really appreciate it,
Dave,
but I've already made
some plans with my fiancé.
Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.
I-I didn't realize.
Thank you very much.
Yes, they're here.
Oh, terrific.
Correct me if I'm wrong,
but, uh...
Didn't that guy just try
to pick up my fiancée?
Oh, that had to be
a mistake.
That's one shy dude.
I wouldn't worry
about it.
Worry about it?
I think I found
just the man I'm looking for.
Excuse me.
Excuse me...
Could you tell me where
I could find captain stubing?
Well, he's pretty busy
right now,
but I'm Julie McCoy,
the cruise director.
Can I help you?
Well, thank you.
I-I think I'd like that.
[ Elevator bell dings ]
So, if you have
no objection,
I'll sail up to Alaska
with captain nordquist
and come back
with you.
Sounds fine to me.
Mm.
See you later.
Trig?
Oh, no.
What a nice surprise.
Hi, dad.
Captain stubing,
this is my son trig.
How are you?
Hello, captain.
Came to join my crew.
Just recently graduated
navigation school.
As of today, he will be
assistant navigation officer.
[ Chuckles ]
Come, trig...
Come see a real ship --
a nordquist ship.
I can't, dad.
What do you mean,
you can't?
I'm working
on the pacific Princess.
I'll be sailing
with captain stubing.
So...you steal my son
from under my nose.
Come on, nordquist.
He was assigned to my ship.
I didn't know
he was your son.
It's true, dad.
He planned this
to embarrass me.
I know him better
than you do.
You'll pay for this,
stubing.
I'll make you
a laughingstock.
I'll crush you...
And your ship.
And I'll deal
with you later.
Excuse me, captain.
Fasten your safety belt --
there's a bumpy ride ahead.
[ Air horns blow ]
This is captain nordquist.
Welcome aboard
the sun Princess
for our mighty
cruise competition.
[ Air horn blows ]
This is captain stubing.
We'll be sailing in company
with the sun Princess.
First stop --
Vancouver, British Columbia.
[ Blows ]
No shark repellent?
[ Laughs ]
I know --
I'm overprepared.
Harry calls me
"the movable medicine chest."
[ Laughs ]
But then...
Harry isn't here, is he?
Would you...
Like to join me in a drink?
I'm sorry.
I'm on duty.
But, uh, how about tonight...
In the acapulco lounge?
I'll be looking forward
to it.
Not as much as I.
Oh, skip, I know I'm just
gonna love this cruise.
Canada will be beautiful.
Alaska will be beautiful.
The weather
will be beautiful.
And I'm overpoweringly
gorgeous, too, right?
Right.
But the most beautiful
thing of all
is that we're away
from the laboratory --
no more test tubes.
Skip, you didn't...
Skip, you did.
Honey, I just had to
bring along the equipment.
We're so close to a major
scientific breakthrough.
A major breakthrough
on a product
scientifically proven
to make men irresistible...
Except it doesn't work.
Oh, it will.
And the love boat is the perfect
place for the experiment.
I know I'm on
the right track.
And I'm on vacation.
I don't believe it.
You brought
the lab rabbits?
Meg, try to understand.
Now, all of my professors
at Harvard
expected me to make an important
contribution to science
by the time I was .
And you will.
Just give it time.
But not all your time.
Well, I have to.
Already three of my classmates
are congressmen,
and one
has even been indicted.
What have I got to show?
You've got us
to show for it.
What we need to do
is get your mind off of work...
And we can start with
the cocktail party tonight.
Hey, how about asking that guy
you met in the lobby to join us?
I bet he'd love the idea.
Skip, that man was
as timid as a mouse.
That's right,
and for my first experiment,
I'm going to change that mouse
into a Guinea pig.
Julie: The first round
of competition between the ships
includes wrestling,
log sawing, pole climbing --
and what else are we going to do
in Vancouver, Vicki?
Um...tug of w*r.
That ought to be fun.
Yeah,
and in ketchikan,
we'll have a cross-country
marathon race.
You'll be on our team,
won't you, trig?
Well, I suppose so.
It sure won't please
my father,
but, then, nothing I do
seems to please him.
At ease, trig.
We're not all
that formal around here.
Captain, to get our group
in shape,
I've ordered exercise bicycles
and a jogging program.
Well, I appreciate
your enthusiasm, Julie,
but let's not
get carried away.
Practice if you wish,
but remember,
this is just a friendly
little competition.
Enjoy it.
Ha ha! There!
No clothes for the rest
of the cruise, right?
Right.
Here's to Jesse and Ellen,
those daring explorers
going all the way
to Alaska and back
in just their jammies.
And I already know
what we'll discover --
that we're as perfect
for each other mentally...
As we are physically.
Mm...mm...mm --
let me get rid
of this messy table.
Then I want to hear
your whole sordid life story.
Oh. [ Giggles ]
Everything!
Ha ha ha!
Why, Jesse, you hardly
touched your salad.
Well, there were all those
vegetables, Ellen.
I'm not much
into vegetables.
Oh, wait till you taste
the way I fix my broccoli.
Hmm-hmm.
Broccoli.
Whoa, ho-ho-ho. Here. Listen,
let me help you with that.
Here we go.
So, how's it going?
Um, I mean...
Um...can I just
go back to "hi, there"?
Probably wondering why
we never leave the cabin.
Oh, hey, totally
your own business.
It is certainly not
my place to ask why.
Why?
You see,
Jesse and I just met.
It was love at first sight.
We want to get married
right away.
He's divorced.
I'm a widow.
But we want to be sure
that we're really right
for each other.
Yet...
We're too impatient to wait out
a long engagement, so...
So you figured that if you took
the whole cruise together
that would do it, huh?
Ha ha!
It's working great.
Oh...it's just
a heaven-sent miracle --
at this time of our lives --
that we've found each other.
Well, in that case,
I'll see you when you
get back to Los Angeles,
and I will call for you
personally...
[ Laughs ]
...with the paramedics.
[ Both laugh ]
Ahh!
Who were you talking to
out there?
What? Oh, that
was just --
hold it,
don't answer!
That's a stupid,
jealous question.
We'll have none of that.
Complete trust --
no nosiness.
I like that...
Just like I like
everything about you.
[ Spits ]
Ah, do you
do windows, too?
I'm a neatness nut.
Does that bother you?
Oh, no, not a bit.
But now it's wine time.
I want to hear all about
the early days...
From that very first gurgle.
I'll get the door.
Oh!
One, two, three, four!
One, two, three, four!
One, two, three, four!
One, two, three, four!
One, two, three, four!
One, two, three, four!
You're not here
to enjoy yourselves.
One, two, three, four.
This is w*r!
One, two, three!
One, two, three!
One, two, three!
One, two, three!
One, two, three!
How much have they done
so far today?
One, two, three!
Today --
push-ups,
sit-ups,
jumping Jacks,
and laps in the pool.
Good.
Now that you're warmed up,
run miles around the deck.
Yes, captain!
[ Shouts order
in native language ]
Hup!
Hup, hup, hup, hup,
hup, hup, hup,
hup, hup, hup,
hup, hup, hup, hup!
Say, uh, brita,
what's the chances
of us getting together
later?
Ze-ro!
Can I consider that
a "maybe"?
It's quite an impressive team
you've got there, captain.
Team?
It isn't a team, blum.
It's a w*apon.
It's a viking broadsword,
and it's aimed
right at merrill stubing.
Why do you hate him
so much?
For years, I've been
following in that man's wake.
When we were in navigation
school, he was first in class --
I was second.
And then when he made captain,
I was still first officer.
Now, my own son is making
his maiden voyage
with merrill stubing...
And again, I'm --
I'm second best.
But that --
that's the last time, blum --
the last time.
When we get to Vancouver,
I'm going to blow that --
that -- that -- that...
Merrill stubing right out
of the water!
Gopher: All passengers
are cordially invited
to the klondike carnival
jamboree
in the acapulco lounge.
[ Country music playing ]
Hi.
Hi.
How's it going?
Fine.
Oh, hi!
Nice talking to you.
Now, this
is more like it.
There he is.
What's his name again?
Dave pursinger.
Hi...
Good to see you again.
I'm skip Van damme.
I think you already know
my fiancée.
Yeah, gosh,
I'm sorry about that.
I don't know
what got into me.
Oh, hey, hey,
forget it, uh...
I see you're alone.
May we join you?
I'm sure Dave's waiting
for somebody.
Not somebody --
anybody.
What's the matter, guy?
Strikeout city?
I can't even get
into the ballpark.
Well, I might have
just what you need.
Megan has a sister?
Better. You see, Dave,
I'm a research scientist.
Megan here is my assistant.
We're on the verge
of discovering a substance
that will attract
women to men...
Like bees to honey.
You mean an aphrodisiac?
Well, no, not exactly.
You see, it's a reinforcement
of the natural male scent.
The cavemen had it,
but it's been weakened by
centuries of civilization.
You mean, if I took this stuff,
I'd attract females?
You'd attract
female rabbits.
Uh, we haven't exactly tried it
with a man before,
but that's only because
it's so new.
What do you think?
It's still in
the experimental stages, Dave.
Well, in that case,
I think I'll pass.
I'd feel better about finding
a girl on my own anyway.
Uh, if you'll excuse me,
I guess I'll go try my luck.
I'll see you later,
huh?
I'm sorry, skip,
it -- it's just that
he seems so innocent.
Oh, that's okay. There are a lot
of daves in the world.
We'll find another one.
Let's get back
to the lab.
Honey, it's party time,
and we're on the love boat.
Meg, please, look...
We have a chance to make
the whole world a love boat.
Hmm?
[ Sighs ]
Trig, thank you so much
for your help with the party.
Your decorations
really made it.
You're welcome.
Don't tell my father
I've been doing this
instead of working
on my navigation charts.
He'd have me shot.
Hey, uh, trig, captain stubing's
looking for you.
He's on the bridge,
and I think you'd better hustle.
Thank you.
Excuse me, Julie.
Sure.
Doc, he's not
in any trouble, is he?
I don't know,
but the captain
didn't look too happy.
Hmm.
You sent for me, sir?
Trig, I've been going over
your navigational charts.
If we take your course,
we should be
in downtown Denver by morning.
In navigation school,
didn't they teach you
that the blue part is the water?
You won't tell my father
about this, will you, sir?
Probably not.
We barely speak to one another.
I'll be honest with you,
captain --
the reason I applied
for a job on your ship
instead of
the sun Princess is...
Well, I didn't want to foul up
in front of my father, sir.
He expects
a great deal of me.
I expect a great deal
from my officers, too, trig.
Yes, sir, and I will try
to do better.
You'll have to do more
than try.
I can appreciate
your problems,
but this ship
is my responsibility.
I don't want to be forced
to have to let you go.
Yes, sir.
Now...
About this chart...
Well, howdy, Isaac.
Howdy, partner.
Hi.
Schoolmarm and me'd like
two klondike coolers --
all the same to you.
All right, partner.
It's all the same to me --
two klondike coolers.
And the first round's
on me.
Well, much obliged,
ma'am.
Oh, no,
Harry's got my wallet.
On the sun Princess?
Yeah, I asked him
to carry it for me
when we went to see
our lawyers
to sign our separation
agreement yesterday.
So typical he forgot
to give it back.
For years he's been
carrying things for me
of one kind or another.
Well, here, you can
give him a call on his ship.
Isaac, could you place
a ship-to-ship call
to Mr. Harry meecham
on the sun Princess?
Ah, d-don't bother.
Uh, I don't need
anything from him.
I'm a big girl now,
with credit cards to prove it.
If that's how you feel.
But, then, if he realizes
he's got my wallet,
he could start
worrying about me,
and, uh...Get one
of his migraines.
What do you think, doc?
Well...
I guess one last call
might be helpful.
You know...It's funny.
I don't feel
married anymore,
but I'm not really
divorced.
What do you call
in-between?
Isaac: Okay, fine.
Thank you.
I have the other ship.
They've located Mr. Meecham.
Harry:
Yeah, this is Mr. Meecham.
Harry?
Oh, is that you, Dorothy?
Um, I hate to bother you,
but I just realized that --
that you have my wallet
and all of my money.
Dr. Bricker
thought I should call.
I-I could get it from you
at the games
in Vancouver so you don't
have to worry about it.
Okay, I won't.
Oh...
Are you all right,
Harry?
Oh, never better.
There's something
about the sea air
and this newfound freedom.
I think I'm learning
to relax.
Oh, I see.
Well, um, that's all
I called about, so...
Harry, how's it going
over there?
Oh, fine.
It's very quiet.
No action at all.
[ Smack ]
Oww!
Ow, hey, take it easy.
[ Joints cracking ]
Oh, Harry,
you are worried about me.
Are you getting
one of your migraines?
[ Muffled ]
No, i-I'm just getting
a little m-massage.
A massage?
At this hour?
Harry...
That woman --
that -- that masseuse --
I hate to sound
suspicious...
Never mind.
Have fun, Harry.
Come on, doc,
let's dance, laugh,
and make it
a night to remember.
Okay, let's cut a rug.
Mmm...
Look, corn on the cob.
Oh, that's right --
you hate veggies.
Not veggies.
No, Ellen, the word
is "vegetables."
If you're going to
marry a writer,
you have to use
all the syllables.
[ Chuckles ]
I can always tell when you're
trying to decide something --
you rub your nose.
No, I don't always.
Oh, yes, you do.
Hey, that's okay.
It's kind of cute.
[ Both laugh ]
I'll have steak
and French fries.
Oh, hey,
and no napkins, please.
I hate for trees
to be k*lled for that.
But just a couple of napkins
won't make any difference.
Oh, yes, they will.
Jesse, we -- we're not
quarreling, are we?
Of course not.
Don't you think I know
when I'm quarreling?
Now, maybe you're quarreling,
but I certainly am not.
Oh, uh, remember --
no paper napkins.
Right. You don't want
them to k*ll a tree.
But remember --
if you order French fries,
they're going to have to
k*ll an innocent potato.
Hi, trig.
Hey, come on back to the party.
We missed you.
Well, I don't feel much
like partying.
I made a huge mistake
on my navigational chart.
Oh, come on,
that's just new-job jitters.
Come on.
No, Julie, I'm no sailor.
Charts...sextants...
Semaphores --
I hate all that stuff.
And I'm no good at it.
I'd rather do what you do.
Well, then, why don't you?
I'll bet your father
could help you find
a cruise director's job.
My father would rather die.
I mean, he's the direct
descendant of Eric the red,
and he's been preparing me
for life at sea
since I was years old.
Might as well tell him I want
to be a cocktail waitress.
Well, you're going to
have to stand up to him
sooner or later,
aren't you?
[ Sighs ]
Gopher: Good morning,
and welcome to Vancouver,
British Columbia,
Canada's third-largest city
and gateway to the orient.
Today marks the first round
of competition between our crew
and the crew
of the sun Princess.
[ Marching-band music plays ]
Brita:
Welcome to Vancouver.
The weatherman has promised us
a bright, sunny afternoon
for our contest
with the pacific Princess.
Come and cheer
your crew on to victory!
Skip, come on, honey.
Let's go to the games.
Meg, look at this --
Romeo has been chasing
Juliet around the cage
for two straight hours.
Give you any ideas?
Yeah, I better cut
the dosage in half.
I give up.
You can't give up.
We're so close.
Close?
Us? You haven't come
near me in weeks.
You know who
you're close to?
Romeo and Juliet.
You three are so tight,
there's no room for me anymore.
Meg, I guess you're right.
I guess I've been doing
the mad-scientist number.
I'll tell you what --
we'll spend
the whole day together, hmm?
Go into town and check out
the ships' athletic contest?
The whole day?
Mm-hmm.
Just us?
[ Knock on door ]
Ignore it.
[ Knock on door ]
I'll get rid of them.
Dave.
Are you still
recruiting Guinea pigs?
Well, I thought you said
you didn't need us.
Boy, was I wrong.
Great, uh, come on in.
I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.
Oh, no, no, no,
nothing important.
[ Sighs ]
Steve: Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
This is
Steve blum speaking.
On behalf of captains nordquist
and stubing,
I want to welcome you
to the first round
of the klondike carnival
cruise competition --
pitting the mighty crew
of the pacific Princess
with the powerful crew
of the sun Princess.
As promised by the weatherman,
we have sunny skies
and a comfortable degrees.
We have an exciting day
coming up
with these two great teams.
And speaking of teams,
ladies and gentlemen,
here they are.
Let's give them a big hand.
They put in a lot of hard work
getting ready
to fight it out here
for the honor of their ships.
Yes, sir,
they're all primed up
and ready to put on
a whale of a show.
All right...
Ladies and gentlemen,
our first exciting event
will be the pole climb.
[ Crowd cheers ]
Representing the sun Princess
is Helmut johanssen.
[ Crowd cheers ]
For the pacific Princess...
Burl "gopher" Smith.
[ Crowd cheers ]
Everyone stand by for the start
of the pole climb.
Okay, judge,
whenever you're ready!
[ g*nsh*t ]
Come on, gopher!
Come on, boy!
Come on, boy!
Come on!
Man: Get up!
Helmut!
...made it all the way.
Congratulations,
both of you.
I'm sure the captains
are proud of their boys.
Smith gave it his best,
but the sun Princess
wins the first event.
Hello, Harry.
Oh, hi, Dorothy.
Hi.
You come to join me?
Oh, no, no, I just came
to see Adam wrestle.
Ah...
Who's Adam wrestle?
Bricker --
Dr. Adam bricker.
He's going to wrestle
someone in the, uh, mud pit.
Oh, yeah...
Listen, I gotta tell you
that your friend's name
is really gonna be mud,
because, uh, brita says
he doesn't have a prayer.
Brita?
Brita Sorenson --
my friend, the masseuse?
Hmm? She's right
over there.
Oh, her.
Mm.
Oh.
Well, uh, Harry...
I'm glad you
found someone.
I'm glad you
found someone, too.
Ladies and gentlemen,
our next exciting event
will be
the his-and-hers
bucksaw competition.
[ Crowd cheers ]
For the sun Princess,
we have inge lindstrom
and Lars stendval.
For the pacific Princess,
we have Julie McCoy
and trig nordquist.
Judge, any time
you're ready.
[ g*nsh*t ]
Come on, Julie!
Go!
Come on, Julie!
Go, go, go, go, go!
It's down to the wire.
It looks like
they're both...
There it goes, folks.
The winners --
the pacific Princess team!
McCoy and nordquist win
the giant-log-sawing event
and tie up the score
at one event apiece.
How about it, folks?
Let's hear it
for those two teams.
Now, will the contestants
get ready for the next event?
You finally won one,
stubing.
Uh, looks like it.
Yes, well,
it, uh, took a nordquist
to do it for you.
Ow! Hey, come on.
That's not necessary.
I'm just trying to
loosen you up.
Listen, I know
what I'm doing.
I saw "rocky" five times.
I never should have
volunteered for this thing
in the first place.
I only did a little wrestling
in college,
and I certainly didn't
know it was going to
be held in a mud pit.
Hey, that's just going
to make it easier.
Now, will you relax?
Your opponent will probably
be some old waiter
that they're going to
have to carry in.
Yeah?
Yeah.
[ Both laugh ]
And now, fight fans,
the moment you've all been
waiting for --
the Yukon saloon brawl --
a wrestling match
in the mud!
[ Crowd cheers ]
Representing
the pacific Princess --
Dr. Adam bricker!
And representing
the sun Princess --
a real Princess --
brita Sorenson!
What do I do?
H-How do you wrestle
a woman?
Oh, well, why don't you just
go in there and grab --
uh, you could use
the ol', uh --
you'll think
of something.
[ Whistling and cheering ]
You're going to allow one
of your women to wrestle?
I'm an equal-opportunity
employer.
Boy,
isn't she a beauty?
Oh, as masseuses go,
I suppose she's okay.
What is she doing
wrestling with a man?
Oh, there you go again --
suspicious of everyone.
Only of lady wrestlers
that I've seen somewhere before.
So she's got great hands.
So what?
[ Bell dings ]
Break Adam's rib!
Go, Adam!
Knock her on her fjord!
[ Marching band plays
theme to "rocky" ]
Let's go, doc!
Attagirl! Yes!
Brita!
Oh, nuts.
Perhaps I should arrange
for your crew
to compete with
the children of my ship.
Even our women seem to be
too much for you.
That's it!
There's the count!
He's out of it!
The sun Princess beauty
wins it.
Well, how many doctors
do you know
who can win 'em all?
[ Bell ringing ]
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
the grand finale...
The big one...
The walk-a-plank
tug of w*r!
[ Drumroll ]
Both teams are set...
Everyone in position...
Okay, judge!
[ g*nsh*t ]
Crowd: [ Chanting ]
Pull! Pull! Pull! Pull!
Pull! Pull! Pull!
Pull! Pull! Pull!
Pull! Pull! Pull!
Pull! Pull! Pull!
Pull! Pull! Pull!
Pull! Pull! Pull!
Pull! Pull! Pull!
Pull! Pull! Pull!
Pull! Pull!
There goes the first one,
folks.
It looks like
it's all over.
It is.
There they go
one by one.
Captain Gunnar nordquist's team
is victorious in this event
and in the overall
first round
of our fabulous
cruise competition.
Well, we'll see you
in ketchikan for round two.
You looked like
a convention of guppies...
And a mud pie.
The entire competition
was a disgrace and a disaster.
Well, sir, we did win
one event.
Yes, but we lost
the other nine.
Well, sir,
it's like you said --
it's just a friendly
little competition.
Did I say that?
Yes, you did.
I was wrong.
It was a friendly
little m*ssacre!
Losing is one thing.
I do not like seeing
my ship humiliated,
especially by nordquist.
We'll do better in the marathon
race in ketchikan, sir.
Oh, yes,
that I guarantee.
As of now, you are all
in training.
Curfew is at hours.
: ?
Bed check at .
Reveille will be
at ,
calisthenics at ,
breakfast at ,
practice session
at .
Are you serious?
Very serious.
Dismissed!
[ Door closes ]
[ Sighs ]
Well, what is it?
Nothing.
[ Door closes ]
Nothing?
Oh, honey, tell me --
did you pick out those pajamas
all by yourself?
Oh, sure.
Do you like them?
Oh, they're great --
great!
Only you might look even nicer
in a plainer pattern...
Different color.
What's wrong
with this...Color?
Oh, nothing -- nothing.
[ Chuckles ]
Gee, I sure hope the ship
picks up some newspaper.
I miss keeping up
with "doonesbury," don't you?
I don't read "doonesbury."
I'm a "snoopy" man myself.
He and that little bird,
they just k*ll me!
Snoopy.
I'm sorry we disappointed
captain stubing.
By the way, trig...
Have you talked to your father
about changing jobs?
No...
Well, I mean
no, not yet.
Well,
he's a busy man.
I'll probably see him
when we stop in Juneau.
Uh, trig...
It may be
sooner than you think.
Go on.
Now's your chance.
Ah...heh heh heh.
Hi, dad.
Hi. I, uh...
I came by
to congratulate you, son.
For what?
Your victory today.
You did well --
very well.
Among those donkeys
you were harnessed to,
you were a stallion.
I was very proud of you.
You were?
There's only one thing
would make me prouder.
Go tell that
so-called captain stubing
that you're leaving.
Dad...
Ahh...
I've been a lonely man,
trig.
But when you join
my ship, we'll --
we'll sail the seas together
for many years to come.
Dad, I can't tell
captain stubing.
Of course you can.
It's what I've been
waiting for.
You've completed
your education.
You're a navigator now.
You'll sail with me...
Your father.
You don't understand.
I understand one thing --
before this cruise is over,
you'll be sailing with me...
Or you're no longer my son.
Gopher: We hope you enjoyed
your stay in Vancouver.
The pacific Princess
will be sailing
through the beautiful
inland passage
to our next port of call --
Juneau, Alaska.
Hi, trig.
Hi, Julie.
It's something,
isn't it?
It's nighttime,
yet it's still light out
up here.
Yeah.
What'd your father say
when you told him
you wanted to be
a cruise director?
The subject...
Didn't come up.
You didn't mention it?
Hey, Julie, look --
he's the only father
I've got,
and he's proud of me
for a change.
So just let me savor that
awhile before I --
before I pile
more headaches on him.
Don't push me.
I thought
I was helping.
05x22 - Pride of the Pacific/The Viking's Son/Separate Vacations/The Experiment/Getting to Know You: Part 1
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Set on the luxury passenger cruise ship MS Pacific Princess, and revolves around the ship's captain Merrill and a handful of his crew, with passengers played by guest actors for each episode, having romantic and humorous adventures along the way.
Set on the luxury passenger cruise ship MS Pacific Princess, and revolves around the ship's captain Merrill and a handful of his crew, with passengers played by guest actors for each episode, having romantic and humorous adventures along the way.