05x04 - The Incredible Hunk/Isaac, the Marriage Counselor/Jewels & Jim

[bunniefuu]

[Theme - Jack Jones, "love
boat"]

Theme song: Love,
exciting and new.

Come aboard.

we're expecting you.

And love, life's
sweetest reward.

Let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat soon will
be making another run.

The love boat promises
something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

[Music playing]

Julie McCoy: Enjoy your cruise.

Hi, I'm Hank Austin.

I've been book to
perform on this cruise.

Well, hello.

I'm Julie McCoy,
your cruise director.

I booked you.

Adam bricker, ship's doctor.

Nice meeting you both.

Yeah.

According to your agent, you're
the hottest thing to happen

to dancing since feet.

Well, there's something you
should know about my agent.

Oh?

He's totally honest.

[Giggling]

Mr. Austin, you're on
the aloha deck, cabin .

Thank you.

We'll see you all later.

[Interposing voices]

Good looking guy.

And he's a good dancer, too?

Well, to tell you the
truth, I haven't seen his act.

But if he dances
anything like he looks,

it's going to be a sensation.

Mel, how much would I owe
you for driving me down here?

Oh, forget it, Hank.

What are friends for?

Well, at least let
me pay you for the gas.

No, no.
Come on.

You're embarrassing me.

Thanks.

I'll tell you, if they paid
us enough as schoolteachers,

we wouldn't have to take
these part-time jobs.

Just what I didn't need.

What?

Look who's taking the cruise.

Trouble.

The new head of our local pta.

What are you going to do?

I don't know.

It's too late to cancel.

Yeah, but it sure won't
help your teaching career

when she finds out
you're a male stripper.

Hello.

Welcome aboard.

Hello.

Welcome aboard.

Isaac!

How you doing?

Isaac!

It's so good to see you again.

You remember me, don't you?

Uh, yeah, sure.

You're Mr.--

frank.

Frank Dalton.

Frank Dalton.

Isaac, it's so good to see.

You're my best friend
in the whole world.

I am?

It was a year ago today.

That's right.

A year ago today, I came
into the pirate's cove.

And you were tending bar.

You know what it was like?

It seemed as though
the sky opened up.

And a light shone.

And there appeared to be
a halo around your head

when you said those words.

I'll never forget those words.

Those words changed
my entire life, Isaac.

I'll never forget that, Isaac.

Never.

Isaac, look, I'm going to go
downstairs and get refreshed.

But I want to see you later.

We got a lot to reminisce about.

I want to tell you
about my new life.

It's so good.

What a guy.

What a guy.

What was all that
shaking and hugging about?

Oh, well, this guy says
that the sky opened up

when I gave him some advice
and a light shown down

and there was a
halo around my head.

What do you think
he meant by that?

I haven't got
the slightest idea.

I don't even know
who he is or what

the hell he's talking about.

Please, could
you give me a hand?

Oh, of course.

Oh.
Thanks.

Oh.

My arms were
beginning to give out.

"Rafting down the
Amazon," "Hawaiian holiday."

Are you sure you're
on the right ship?

Yeah, well, I'm a travel nut.

I like to read about vacations
even when I'm on one.

I'm a bit of a
travel nut myself.

Perhaps we could get together
sometime during this cruise

and compare trips.

I'd enjoy that.

Good.

I can take those now.

And thanks again.

Any time.

Yeah.

Mr. Pickett, i'm
captain stubing.

May I have a word with you?

You know me, captain?

Well, I don't think there's
a ship's captain in the world

who doesn't know that face.

Your reputation precedes you.

I'm flattered.

To be known as an
international Jewel thief?

Captain, I'm a new man,
my slate wiped clean,

my debt paid to
society, my intentions

toward my fellow man honorable.

I hope so.

I don't want any unpleasant
incidents on this cruise.

Unpleasantness
is the last thing

I have on my mind, captain.

I know what I want
out of life now.

Good.

Oh, yes.

I definitely do.

[Music playing]

[Horn blowing]

Hello.

Oh.

Were you resting up
before the show tonight?

Yeah.

By the way, Julie.

I never got a chance to properly
thank you for booking me.

Oh, that's ok.

To be frank, I
ordinarily don't book

an act I know nothing about.

But we had that
last-minute cancellation.

Well, if there's
anything you want to know

about me that my agent hasn't--

no, that's ok.

I'll see it all tonight.

Well, pretty close anyway.

Pardon me?

[Music playing]

Um, excuse me, Julie.

I've got to go.

Who's chasing you?
The FBI?

Worse.

The pta.

Oh!

Are you ok?

Excuse me.

Mr. Austin?

Um, yeah.

Why, Ms. Duran.

I didn't recognize you in--

in that suit.

Oh, it's not too
extreme, is it?

I mean, for a pta president.

We're all entitled
to our little secrets.

I'm afraid not, not
when we're expected

to set examples for children.

Right.

Well, isn't this a coincidence,
meeting on the cruise

like this?

More of a surprise,
in view of the claims

you teachers have made regarding
the need for pay raises.

I'll be paying for this cruise
for the next two years, three

if we don't get that pay raise.

But I just had to get away.

This is nice
meeting you like this.

You know, my Tracey
thinks the world of you.

She's a very
bright little girl.

And cute, too.

And I can see where
she gets it all from.

Thanks.

I just discovered my little
girl has excellent taste in men.

Would you think
it terrible of me

if I asked you what you were
doing for dinner tonight?

Oh, on the contrary.

I'd be very flattered.

Great.

Then it's a date.

And maybe afterwards
we can take in the show

in the acapulco lounge.

Um, show?

They told me I
shouldn't miss it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's what
they told me, too.

[Music playing]

(Laughing) Wrong again.

Oh, hello.

Hi.

Is your cabin
on this deck, too?

No.

Actually I was looking for you.

Oh.

And since I never
got your name,

I decided to start
knocking on doors.

Well, knock no more.

Lila Chandler.

James pickett.

I was just going
for a stroll on deck.

Do you care to join me or do
you have something else to do?

Even if I did, how
could I turn down

such an attractive invitation?

Here you go.

And happy honeymoon.

And remember, never go
to bed mad at each other,

even if you have to
stay awake all night.

Will you listen to this man?

Listen to this man.

A regular old Sullivan.

He takes a problem that
someone couldn't solve

in a million years,
and in five minutes

he's changed an entire life.

Mr. Dalton, you keep
talking like that,

people are going to
think I'm a miracle man.

That's what you are, Isaac,
a regular old miracle man.

Hey, hey, come here, son.

Let me tell you about
one of Isaac's miracles.

He's too modest to
tell you himself.

A year ago, I was
on the same cruise.

I was having a little
trouble with my marriage.

And let me tell you what
this wise man said to me.

I came up to the bar.

He said to me, he
said, Mr. Dalton--

those are the exact words.

I remember them, Isaac.

He said, Mr. Dalton,
sometimes a man

just has to put his foot down.

So I went home.

I put my foot down.

My wife left me.

And it ended a -year marriage.

I can't tell you how happy I am.

If you truly are happy,
that's really great.

That means you're
a very lucky man.

Did you hear that?

Again.

Another one of those
profound statements.

Yeah, that's right.

Happy, lucky, if that's
what you'd call it.

Old lucky me.

Lucky me.

Happy, lucky me.

[Music playing]

Just happy, lucky.

[Sobbing]

I'm lucky!

[Music playing]

I'm having a terrific
time just taking in the sun,

reading a good book.

And having dinner with
a very attractive man

is not hard to take either.

Well, coming from a
very attractive woman,

that's nice to hear.

By the way, Hank,
I hope you didn't

take offense with my remark
about teachers' pay raises.

I'm all for them.

It's just that we have so many
other priorities-- textbooks,

building maintenance, supplies.

Sure, I understand.

Hello.

You two seem to have
it all under control.

Well, you throw
a wonderful party.

Oh, sure.

Just a few hundred of my
dearest, most intimate friends.

Well, are you all
set for the show?

Right.

What time does it go on?

Whenever you get
there, Mr. Austin.

Look, Shelly, about
this show tonight--

if you're asking me to go
with you, the answer is yes.

Great.

That's exactly
what I had in mind.

But I've got some letters
that I promised to get out.

So I thought that i'd
write them after dinner

and then pick you up
in time for the show.

Perfect.

That way I can get more
time in on my book.

You know, everything
on this cruise

is working out just right.

Great.

What's the matter with you?

I don't know what
I'm going to do.

That Mr. Dalton is so miserable.

And it's all my fault.

Dr. Adam bricker:
Well, what'd you do?

Make him swallow
his swizzle stick?

Isaac Washington: No,
a lot worse than that.

Isaac, you cannot
blame yourself.

You didn't tell Mr. Dalton to
break up his -year marriage.

I know that.

But he thinks I did,
which is the same thing.

And regardless, I'd just
kind of like to cheer him up.

Look how lonely he is,
sitting there all by himself.

Well, maybe I'll
let him take my place

at the captain's table.

Oh, would you?

That would be terrific, doc.

Oh, no.

Wait.

Just think how that
would lift his spirits.

Never did much for me.

No.

He couldn't.

Oh, please, doc.

Please, just just for me.

Please.

All right, if you'll
explain to the captain.

You bet.

Thanks a lot.

Come on, Mr. Dalton you're
eating at the captain's table.

- I am?
- Yes.

Yes.

Come on.

You know, you're a
very important person.

I am?

Yes, you are.

Here you are, right over here.

Captain?

Yes?

I'd like to introduce
you to Mr. Frank Dalton,

one of the most interesting
and witty passengers

on this cruise.

And Dr. Bricker
thought that you should

enjoy his company for dinner.

Oh yes, of course.

Please, sit down, Mr. Dalton.

Allow me to introduce my guests.

This is my daughter, Vicki.

Hi.

How do you do?

How do I do?

How do I do?

Just great.

Just great, ever
since Isaac here

ruined my -year marriage.

I'm doing just great.

[Quiet sobbing]

Enjoy your dinner.

Oh, in Paris--

what?

--There is this baker named
Michel Gabrielle who makes

the world's best croissant.

[Laughter]

Truly.
- Yeah.

I'm going to give
you the address.

Just knock three times and tell
them James pickett sent you.

And what will that get me?

You?

Nothing.

But he'll be very
grateful to me for sending

him such a beautiful customer.

Oh, thank you.

But I don't know when
I'll be getting to Paris.

I mean, my travel
budget's already

wiped out until the year .

Well, I'll tell you what.

I will meet you on
top of the eiffel

tower new year's day .

You've got a date.

All right.

Ok.

Provided that my boss
will give his faithful

and by then aged
secretary some time off.

What do you do for
a living, James?

I'm a cat burglar.

Oh.

How's business?

Rotten.

Rotten?

Rotten.

[Giggling]

Nobody seems to want to
buy a hot cat these days.

[Music playing]

The trouble with
traveling so much

is I don't have money
left for any other treats.

Such as?

Oh, the ballet,
mink coats, and food.

Well, material things
aren't important as long

as you're doing what you like.

Oh, that I am.

You have to admit, that
necklace is one material

thing I wouldn't mind having.

Jim pickett: It's
a bit too flashy.

Lila Chandler: Oh.

She'd look better without it.

Yes, much better.

Isaac, I want to thank
you for my dinner companion.

Look, captain, i--

I never realized how
witty and interesting

minutes of hysterical
crying could be.

He made us all
feel so inadequate.

I'm sorry, captain.

But I thought his
being around you

would bring him out
of his depression.

Oh, I see.

And how do you plan
to get me out of mine?

I know you don't
mean that, sir.

Well anyway, I think
I solved his problem.

I introduced him to a
very nice young lady.

You better stick around.

I'm sure she'll
want to thank you.

[Band music]

Ladies and gentlemen,
tonight we have

a real special treat for you.

Take a tablespoon of gene Kelly,
add just a dash of Fred Astaire

and a whole lot
of John Travolta,

and what you have is a
recipe for excitement.

Hank Austin.

[Applause]

[Music playing]

[Clapping]

[Cheering]

Sir, I had no idea.

My heavens.

He's taking off his p--

I don't believe this.

I wear more than
that in the shower.

Sir, his agent never told
me that he was a stripper.

He kept it a secret.

Oh.

Well, the secret's out.

[Music playing]

Mr. Dalton!

Mr. Dalton, please don't do it.

Don't do it.

Please.

Isaac, after listening to
your wise and wonderful advice,

I can't go on.

Oh, Mr. Dalton, stop.

Please come down off there.

I mean, I know things look bad.

But they'll get better.

I promise you.

It couldn't get better, Isaac.

It couldn't.

You couldn't find a better
night to jump in the ocean.

Wait, wait, wait!

I've got a good idea.

Why don't you and I talk
this thing over, time?

Isn't that a good idea?

We'll just talk it over.

- You-- just you and I, Isaac?
- Yeah, yeah.

Me and you.
- My buddy?

Yeah!

Me and you.

Ok, Isaac.

Ok.

Ok.

You're a wise
and wonderful man.

And it's because of your
wise and wonderful advice

that I am what I am today.

Let's talk about it.

All right.

This is my buddy, Isaac.

Ok.

He wants to talk
about it, so--

yeah.

--We'll talk about it.

All right.

[Sighs]

Wait!

[Crash]

You're fast, Isaac.

I like you, Mr. Dalton.

I really do.

You're really fast.

You're my friend.

- You're my buddy.
- Come on, this way.

Yes.
- You're fast.

Hi.

Show time?

Shelly, I owe you an apology.

I got so involved in
writing my letters

that I lost track of the time.

And we missed the show.

Oh.

Well, it's just a show.

And I really was
enjoying reading my book.

I'll make it up
to you, though.

When we get back, I'll take
you to any show in town.

You're on.

But for now I
was thinking maybe

we could take a little
stroll on the deck

and come back to the
cabin for a nightcap.

Thanks, Hank.

But I'm really not up
for a stroll on the deck.

Oh.

How about just
the nightcap then?

I'd love one.

[Music playing]

[Moaning]

[Snap]

[Gasping]

James!

Hi.

You came.

I was hoping that you would.

Oh.

I was thinking about you so
much that I couldn't sleep.

And i-- I went by your room.

And-- and I noticed
that the door was open.

I left it open?

Well, I got in, didn't I?

Yes.

I-- I guess I must have
done it subconsciously.

You know, I just love the
way your subconscious works.

[Music playing]

[Muttering]

But Mrs. Dalton,
your husband needs you.

Ok, he's your ex-husband.

But he still needs you.

I'm so happy.

I'm so very happy.

Mrs. Dalton, could you fly to
acapulco and join the cruise?

You could save your
husband's life.

Oh, Janet.

Ok, you can save
your ex-husband's life.

Wow.

I'm sorry you won't come.

But thanks anyway.

Oh Janet.

Janet!

Janet, my dear wife.

Where are you?

Where are you?

Everything's fine.

Fine, thanks-- thanks to you.

Yeah, thanks.

Thanks to you.

[Music playing]

Good morning.

Wonderful night.

Lila Chandler: Let's make
it a wonderful morning, too.

I have to get
back to my cabin.

Oh.

I have a few chores to do.

Do you have to?

Listen to me, Lila.

What?

I want to spend every
second with you that I can,

because I think I love you.

And you have no idea how amazed
I am to hear myself say that.

Bye-bye.

You hurry back.

Good morning.

Morning.

Oh, good morning.

Sorry I'm late.
I overslept.

I hope you started without me.

I'm afraid I did.

I was starved.

Must be the sea air.

It seems we missed
quite a show last night.

Hmm?

The whole ship's
talking about it.

Guess what the main feature
of the entertainment was?

Uh, tell me.

Would you believe
a male stripper?

[Chuckling]

You're kidding.

Honest.

Well, maybe we really
did miss something.

Well, I for one
am glad we did.

I'm really shocked.

Who would expect something like
that on a cruise like this?

Not I. I mean, what will it
be next, female mud wrestling?

Oh, bight your tongue.

Terrific show last night.

Woo!

Uh, yeah.

So I hear.

Wish I'd seen it myself.

[Laughter]

Yeah.

You know, maybe that's
what the public wants.

Well, include me
out of the public.

Me too.

[Music playing]

You ought to cover up.

The sun's very strong.

Captain merrill
stubing: Ms. McCoy,

I never again want to see an
act like that on this ship.

Yes, sir.

I quite agree.

But you must admit that men
wear bathing suits that brief

on the lido deck all the time.

Swimming on the lido
deck is one thing.

Shimmying in the acapulco
lounge is another.

[Clears throat]

Gopher Smith:
Excuse me, captain.

Sorry to interrupt, but
Mrs. Landis's diamond

necklace was stolen last night.

Perhaps we should wait till
the cha-cha lesson is over.

Oh no, come right
in, Mrs. Landis.

This is going to be
one of those cruises.

Mm-hmm.

[Music playing]

Woman (on speaker): Welcome
to fun-filled acapulco, Jewel

of the Mexican riviera.

Arrangements for land tours can
be made in the purser's office.

Well, Mr. Dalton is
still in the doghouse.

But not for long.

After I called his
ex-wife this morning

and she refused to come
down, I decided to take

matters into my own hands.

Oh, that's a good idea.

You tried that last night.

He almost jumped overboard.

Fear not.

You are watching a master
psychologist at work.

Right.

[Music playing]

(Whispering) Girls.

He is going to have a
wonderful time in acapulco.

Dr. Washington, you think you
could handle one more patient?

I'd like a blonde, about .

[Interposing voices]

Are you kidding?

I had to promise to pick
up all their bar tabs.

If I save one more
life, I'll go broke.

I cannot wait till you get
to that restaurant in acapulco.

You are going to love it.

Well, tell me what it's like.

Well, I'm not going to
tell you what it's like.

Why not?

Excuse me, Mr. Pickett.

May I have a word with
you, please, right away?

Of course.

Excuse us, please.

Excuse us.

Yes, of course.

What can I do
for you, captain?

I'd like to search your
cabin, with your permission,

of course.

Search my cabin?

Whatever for?

It seems that a diamond
pendant was stolen last night.

Captain, we've already
discussed my past.

I resent the accusation.

Does that mean you're
refusing permission?

It certainly does.

Mr. Pickett, my request
was merely a courtesy.

As captain, I have the
power to order a search.

Excuse me, captain, but I
couldn't help but overhear.

When did this
robbery take place?

Sometime after midnight.

Oh.

Well, for your information, Mr.
pickett was with me in my cabin

from : until morning.

Ms. Chandler, you're
absolutely sure about the time?

Oh, I remember every minute.

I see.

I apologize.

But be prepared
to be interrogated

when we return to San Pedro.

Thank you.

Now, why did you lie for me?

Because you were in trouble.

And because I love you.

We'd have had a beautiful
future if you weren't a thief.

[Music playing]

Woman (on speaker): Passengers
interested in seeing

acapulco by night may
still sign up for the gala

tour in the purser's lobby.

Hank, that was wonderful.

Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

Look, Shelly, I've got
to tell you something.

Not while you're
wearing that silly hat.

Why don't you go change and
you can tell me at dinner?

Ok, I'll pick you up at : .

Hello.

Julie, we just
had a great day.

Well, I'm glad somebody did.

Oh, something wrong?

Well, I wasn't
going to tell you.

It's not your fault.
But you did ask and--

what's wrong?

Your friend.

That's what's wrong.

Hank?

He's gotten me into a lot
of trouble with the captain.

I just don't follow.

When I booked him to
entertain on the ship,

I expected a
straight dance act--

you know, jazz, tap.

I had no idea he
was a male stripper.

Hank?

Julie, you must be mistaken.

Huh-uh.

I saw him, in the flesh.

You mean he--

he did that?

He was in the show last night?

I don't know why
he didn't tell you.

Well, I guess he had
to cover up something.

[Music playing]

Lila.

No, no.

Leave me alone, James.

Did you mean what
you said before?

What?

That I love you?

Why, is it important?

It is if it's true.

It won't change anything.

Oh, I'm not so sure.

I have something to
tell you, but not here.

Will you come with me?

Please?

James, where
are you taking me?

You'll see.

Captain merrill
stubing: Come in.

After you.

Yes, Mr. Pickett?

Captain, I have
something to tell you.

I brought Ms. Chandler because
I want her to hear it too.

Well, would you
like to sit down?

No, thank you.

This won't take long.

It's about Mrs.
landis's diamond.

Captain, look.

Look.

I found it.

I found my necklace.

You found it?

It must have fallen
down behind my dresser.

I hope I didn't cause
you any problem.

No.

No trouble at all.

We're all delighted
that you found it.

Yes, delighted.

Well, I wanted you to
be the first to know.

Have a lovely afternoon.

Thank you.

I'm glad that's settled
for all our sakes.

Here.

So what were you telling me
about Mrs. Landis's diamond?

I was saying that
she'd probably find it.

And she did.

Good day, captain.

Good day.

Captain.

Look, I'll meet you at the
pirate's cove a little later.

I have a little something to do.

- Oh, ok.
- Ok?

- I'll be waiting.
- Good.

Mm-hmm.

I got to admit it, Isaac.

He looks like a happy man.

Happy?

Are you kidding?

I have made his life ecstatic.

[Laughter]

Excuse me.

Are you Isaac Washington?

Yes, I am.

Thank goodness.

I'm Janet Dalton, frank's wife.

I didn't want to
come, but I had to.

I mean, if I can save frank
from committing su1c1de--

where is he?

Don't look at me.

I'm in the bathroom.

Did you say where is he?

Yes, yes.

Where is he?

Frank Dalton.

Now where would I go if I
were a desperately unhappy man

who still loved his ex-wife.

Isaac, more bubbly
for my lovelies.

I know that voice.

Hello, frank.

Hey, Janet!

Janet.

Yep, that's Janet.

Janet, I can explain.

Oh, you don't have
to explain, frank.

I mean, you're a divorced man.

You can see anybody you want to.

I'd just like to ask you
three simple questions.

What are the questions?

What is she doing here?

What is she doing here?

And what are you doing here?

Janet!

Janet!

Janet.

Isaac, were you on the Titanic?

[Music playing]

Woman (on speaker): We hope you
enjoyed your day in acapulco.

Our next stop, our home
port of Los Angeles.

Shelly, it's Hank.

Oh, what a surprise.

You're all dressed up.

I mean, the surprise is
that you're dressed at all.

Oh.

You found out.

Look, Shelly--

you've done nothing
but lie to me.

Admitted.

But I had my reasons.

Fine.

I'll put an asterisk next
to your name in my diary.

A liar with reasons.

[Music playing]

Julie, I really don't feel
like doing anything tonight.

Oh, come on.

It's better than being all
cooped up in your cabin.

Have a seat.

Would you excuse me
just a minute, please?

Sure.

Hank.

Um, just leave
me alone, please.

Hank, I'd like to apologize.

I'm really sorry.

You're sorry.

Yes, I am.

I realize it's not
your fault. I needed

somebody in a real big hurry.

And your agent told me
you were a great dancer.

He didn't say you were--

an exotic dancer.

No.

No, my agent's only concerned
about getting his %.

I knew there was something
funny about this booking.

Look, I am not ashamed
about what I do.

And the money I make
doing it is putting

me through graduate school.

I understand.

But why keep it a big
secret from Shelly?

She's the head of the pta.

How could I ask her
to accept the fact

that one of her teachers
moonlights as a stripper?

I see.

What a break.

Finally fall in love.

I'm sorry, Hank.

I couldn't hear you.

I said, I finally
fall in love.

It isn't fair, Julie.

It just isn't fair.

I'll tell you what isn't fair.

Shelly.

It isn't fair that i'm
the only one on this ship

that hasn't seen your act.

You, um-- you
really want to see it?

Uh-huh.

What do you know?

My first command performance.

D you going to
tell me or do I have

to figure it out all by myself?

Well, figure it out.

Make believe that
you are a detective.

Well, that will be a switch.

All right, let's
review the facts.

Your key was in the fuse box.

Right.

So obviously you put it there.

Right.

And just as
obviously, you took out

Mrs. Landis's necklace,
which previously

had occupied that space.

So far, so good.

Then you gained entrance
into Mrs. Landis's cabin

and placed the necklace
behind the dresser

where she would
believe it had fallen.

You are marvelous.

And you're so much
cuter than Columbo.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

But now the sticky part.

How did you know that
I'd stolen the necklace

in the first place?

Are you a cop?

You were doing so well.

You see, we happen to
have a lot in common.

I came on board to steal
that same necklace.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

I'm a Jewel thief, too.

[Music playing]

Incredible.

But when I saw
that you were here,

I figured I'd let you
do the risky work.

But then why
did you return it?

Because I fell in love.

Why were you going to
confess to the captain?

Because we have more
in common than you know.

You see, I fell in love, too.

Well then, shall we drink
to two former Jewel thieves

who are now going straight?
- No.

What?

Not unless they'll continue
straight to the altar.

[Music playing]

Well, ain't you something.

A big swinger.

sh**t.

You're just jealous
because all those other women

find me so attractive.

Jealous?

Five days at sea, they find
shamu the whale attractive.

Very funny.

Very funny.

I'm glad we got divorced.

My only regret is that I
didn't divorce you sooner.

Yeah, well my only
regret is that you

didn't get your only regret.

[Scoffs]

That's it.

That's it.

- Isaac!
- Isaac!

What are you doing, child?

What's the use?

I can't do anything right.

I ruined your marriage.

Isaac, Isaac, you
didn't ruin our marriage.

Right!

He ruined our marriage.

She ruined our marriage.

No, no.

It's all my fault. You flew
all the way to acapulco

just to save his life.

You did do that, didn't you?

Isaac Washington: It
has to be my fault,

because every time you
talk about your divorce,

you start to cry.

You cried when you
thought about our divorce?

Oh, I didn't cry.

I didn't, I mean, cry, cry.

I might have--

I might have sobbed
hear and there.

But I didn't cry.

That proves it.

Yes, it does.

Proves that every time I
needed her, she was there.

Frank.

I love you, Janet.

I love you, frank.

Oh, watch out, Isaac!

Isaac!

[Music playing]

And I hope you come sailing
with us again sometime.

Well, we hope you come
sailing with us sometime.

Yes.

We're thinking about buying a
boat this size for our lake.

[Laughter]

Au revoir.

Bye-bye.

Aloha.

Captain?

Yes.

I want you to be
the first to know

that we are getting married.

And I am opening up a
theft protection service.

Well, congratulations.

Look at the beautiful diamond
ring that James gave me.

Diamond ring, Mr. Pickett?

It was my mother's, I swear.

[Chuckling]

Oh, two of my favorite people.

Isaac, frank and I are
going to be remarried.

That's great.

Congratulations, Mr. Dalton.

Thanks a lot, Isaac.

You know, we just
have one small problem.

We don't know whether to
have a big church wedding

or a small, intimate gathering.

Well, in my opinion--

hold it, Isaac.

No more of your gems of wisdom.

We might have come
over on the same ship,

but we're in
different boats now.

(Laughing) Oh, frank.

So long, guys.

So long.

Bye.

Hello.

I'm glad to see you two got
things straightened out.

Well, thanks to you, Julie.

I think Julie should
be the first to know.

We're engaged.
- That's wonderful.

Oh, congratulations.

That means no more
moonlighting for Hank.

I think I can afford
to put my husband

through graduate school.

Does that mean you'll
be giving up the act?

Oh, not entirely.

Just won't be doing
it in public anymore.

Thanks again, Julie.

Mr. Austin, i'd
like to apologize

for any misunderstanding.

Oh, no problem, captain.

Oh, by the way,
captain, Mr. Austin

may be sailing with us again.

On his honeymoon.

[Laughter]

Wonderful!

But no dancing.

[Laughter]

[Music playing]