13x08 - Fernlets by Fern/Prunella and the Haunted Locker

[bunniefuu]

♪ Every day, when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view ♪

(laughing)

♪ And I say, hey ♪

♪ And I say, hey ♪
Hey!

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen to
your heart, listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together and make things
better by working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message,
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪
♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪
♪ Place to start ♪

♪ Place to start ♪

♪ And I say, hey ♪

♪ And I say, hey ♪
Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!
♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we can learn to work
and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

Hey!

Hey!
♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

Hey!

Hey!
♪ What a wonderful kind
of day ♪

♪ What a wonderful kind
of day ♪

Hey!

ARTHUR (on TV):
Hey, D.W.!

Hey!

Whoa!

Whoa!
(loud thud)

(loud thud)

(letters shattering)

(riders screaming)

(screaming)

That was amazing!

Nothing's better than
riding this roller coaster.

MUFFY:
Oh, yeah?

How about riding
this roller coaster

and getting paid for it?

She has a point.

Yeah, that would be better.

Great!

I'm entering a photo contest
and want some exciting sh*ts,

so look excited.

(Arthur and Francine screaming)

MUFFY:
More energy!

Look like you're thrilled!

(screaming)

Come on, people,
work it, work it.

(screaming)

(yawns)

(groans)

I can taste breakfast.

You ever find that something fun

becomes a lot less fun

when you have to do it?

MUFFY: You call
that excited?

You two look like you're
getting your teeth pulled.

Let's do it again,

and this time, I want
to see you having fun.

(bar clangs)

(both groan)

MUFFY:
"Happy Mother's Day, Mother."

"Mother, have a happy day."

"Happy mother, happy day."

I think I like this one.

"I love you more than Boston
cream pie, because...

because I spell love
M-O-M-M-Y."

BOTH:
Oh!

(crash)

Watch where you're going.

Sorry.

Mother, no expense
was spared to show you

that Mother's Day
isn't about money.

It's about what money can buy.

You wrote me a poem!

(clears her throat)

"Mother, oh, Mom,
you are my mommy,

"I love you more
than deep-fried salami,

"I love you more
than Boston cream pie,

because I spell
love M-O-M-M-Y."

Muffy, I love it!

Oh, uh... great.

But why does it say
"Love, Fern"?

(giggles meekly)

MUFFY:
And then I explained how
we got our cards mixed up.

My mom was
a little disappointed.

Luckily, I realized
I had the wrong card

before I gave it to my mom.

I have it here
if you want it back.

I can't give that card
to my mother now,

not since she read yours.

Do you always make
your own cards?

Yep. My family calls
them "Fernlets."

I've already started working
on my Father's Day one.

I'm sure my dad would love
a Mufflet.

But I'm not a poet.

Hey! (gasps)

Why don't we make
a card together?

You write a Fernlet,
and I'll put my painting

on the cover.

That is really good.

Okay, you've got a deal.

(sucking)

Ta-da!

Wow! It looks
so professional.

My Dad's going to love this.

ARTHUR:
So is mine.

Thanks, guys.

Huh?
How did Arthur...?

Hey, could I buy
a Father's Day card, too?

Buy?

Muffy, what's he
talking about?

Well, I just thought,
why should we be

the only ones with
such great cards?

I gave you credit, see?

"Muffern Cards,
featuring Fernlets by Fern."

BINKY:
"Dear old Dad, Dad old dear,

"I love you more
than cold root beer,

Or chocolate bar so chocolatey,
I love you, Dad, my D-A-D."

(sniffles)

That's really beautiful.

One dollar,
please.

What's this?

Twenty cents. Your cut.

I get more, since I have
to cover

printing, advertising,
distribution...

I don't care
about the money.

I just...

May I put in an order?

I just love those little poems.

Of course.

What kind of Muffern card with
Fernlets by Fern would you like?

A Father's Day card
and two birthday cards.

Do you do
birthday cards?

Well, Fern,
do we?

Um... well, I guess so.

Great!

I'll put your order in
right away.

(groans, cell phone rings)

Hello?

MUFFY:
Hi, Fern. Muffy.

Great news.

We have tons of new orders.

Write this down.

We need Fernlets
for a Bar Mitzvah,

a get-well card,

a "sorry I accidentally
shaved your hamster" card...

(indistinct mumbling
as Fern groans)

(yawns)

BUSTER:
Smile!

(camera shutter clicking)

There she is,
the queen of greeting cards.

Fern, would you answer a few
questions for the Frensky Star?

So, what's it like to be

Elwood City's greatest
greeting card poet?

Greeting card poet?

Do you find some occasions
harder to write for than others,

or is every one the same?

(time clock clanks)

Good morning, Fern.

Do you know
what time it is?

Time to make the Fernlets?

Correct.

Start the Poetron .

(whistle blows)

All right.

MUFFY:
We need a Groundhog Day
Fernlet,

a Summer Solstice Fernlet,

a Casual Friday Fernlet...

Wait.

I wrote "Ground Dog"
by accident.

Solstice, solstice...
what rhymes with "solstice"?

A Bastille Day Fernlet,
a Cinco de Mayo Fernlet...

faster, faster!

I can't keep up.

(whistle blows,
Muffy continues ordering)

I am not a machine!

MUFFY:
, , , ...

Hi, Fern.

Guess what.

Muffern cards
are doing so well,

I'm giving you a raise.

Here. My latest Fernlet.

Oh, goody!

What's this?

A haiku.

You know the Japanese
poetry form?

See? There are five syllables
in the first line,

seven in the second,
and five in the last.

It's...

Fresh, right?

I was going
to say "weird."

Muffy, I'm not just a greeting
card poet, you know.

I want to explore
new artistic forms.

All right.

Let's test it out.

Brain, how would you feel
if you got this card?

"Dear Best Friend, someone

"Left your cake out in the rain,

Smile, it's your birthday."

That's sad.

No, it isn't.

It means even a wet cake
can't ruin a birthday,

because it's about love,
not cake.

I appreciate the subtlety
of classical Japanese poetry

as much as the next kid, but I
like the old Fernlets better.

Look, graduation is
in a couple of weeks.

That's a greeting card
goldmine.

Give me something
I can sell.

Here.

Have an ice cream on me.

MUFFY:
"Refrigerator
cats ride

"pickle gloves.

Happy
graduation"?

I can't sell this.

I don't even know
what it is.

They're random words I cut out
from here and there.

It's called "found verse."

Well, I think
you should lose it.

But I want to experiment,
try different things.

Fern, different is fine,
as long as it's the same.

I'm sorry, but...
you're fired.

You can't fire me.

We're friends.

MUFFY:
I've got to think of the future
of Muffern Cards.

Here, it's your share
of the business.

Keep your money.

FERN:
Silly greeting card business.

What a waste of... (gasps)

My mother's birthday is
tomorrow!

I completely forgot.

Oh...

MOM:
Your Fernlets are always

the best part
of my birthday.

Well, um, I...

"You've touched my life
in so many ways.

May you have the happiest
of Mother's Days."

(clears her throat)

Well, it's very pretty
and such good quality paper.

That's the card Muffy got
for her mother

for Mother's Day.

It's a plain old
store-bought card.

I don't understand.

I tried to write you
something, but...

I've used up all my inspiration
on Muffy's greeting cards.

(sniffles)

I'll never write
another poem again.

Of course you will.

You just have to let
writing be fun again.

Can I owe you a card
instead of giving you that?

Fern, we have to talk.

What's that?

A Muffinky card,
with Binklets by Binky.

So, I guess you found
a new writer.

Yeah, kind of.

"Happy graduation,
you've worked really hard,

"And if you know
what's good for you,

You'll buy this card."

It's very... direct.

I haven't sold a single card.

In fact, I have to pay Binky
to stop writing Binklets.

I'm sorry, I never should
have fired you.

I need you back.

I'll give you a - split.

- , and that's
with pension and health.

I told you, I'm done
with greeting cards.

Really?

Then what's this?

Are you working
for somebody else?

That's for my mom.

I haven't decided what
I'm going to write yet.

Nice card.

Where'd you get it?

I painted it.

You think she'll like it?

The cover should fit the person.

This one says:
I'm elegant and classy.

Bold, but not flashy.

Is your mom like that?

Yes.

In fact, can I use that?

Sure.

Wait!

How about a line
of Fernfy cards?

You'll do the covers,
and I'll do the poems.

(gasps)

Or better yet, T-shirts!

How about just doing
some for fun?

Fun.

KIDS:
And now...

Poem, the word itself,
means "to make."

We're going to make poems.

Peter Payack is coming
to our class today.

He's a poet.

I'm going to ask you
to write little poems.

(reading poem)

That's excellent.

STUDENT:
This is supposed to be

a comedy poem.

(reading)

PAYACK:
And then what we're going to do
is we're going

to type it into the computer.

We're going to print it
and illustrate it

and then we're going
to put them on these buttons.

It's going to be publishing
your poem.

(reading)

STUDENT:
Publishing is
writing an idea on paper.

So you can share it
with a lot of people.

(reading)

These poems are not in a book.

We're wearing them
on our jackets.

(reading)

PAYACK:
First a poem

is in your head, right?

It's an idea.

A poem expresses
a thought or a feeling.

STUDENT:
You could put pretty much
anything in it

and it could be on any subject.

"Baseball, oh baseball,
such a good sport to play..."

(reading)

(reading)

STUDENT:
When someone's sad,
if you read them a happy poem,

it'll make them feel better.

KIDS:
And now...

(applause)

Hello, everyone.

Welcome to your favorite
game show, Face Your Fear!

Let's meet our first contestant.

My name is Buster Baxter,
and I'm afraid of...

(gulps)

p-poached eggs.

AUDIENCE:
Ohh...

Okay, Buster.

Are you ready
to... FACE YOUR FEAR?

(applause)

(cheers)

(screams)

Ladies and gentlemen,
the Fear-o-meter is at... . !

If Buster eats this poached egg,
he'll win big.

But can he do it?

(beeping)

(audience cheers)

Not bad.

Do you have any salt?

Our next contestant

is Dora Wini...

is Dora Wini...
Just D.W., please.

Just D.W., please.

I'm afraid of octopussies.

I think you mean octopuses.

Some people
also say octopi.

No, that's not it.

I'm talking about those
creatures that are half octopus

and half kitten.

Uhhhh!

There's no such thing.

Really?

What a relief!

I guess Nadine was wrong.

I have to think
of something else.

Go to her.

(gasps)

Okay, Prunella,

it's time to FACE YOUR FEAR!

(Prunella screaming)

A locker?

What's so scary
about that?

You'll see.

(all gasp)

(chicken squawks)

(Muffy screams)

Hey!

Where's my...?

Ah, Prunella,
there you are.

I wanted to catch you
before class to tell you

that your locker is gone.

I noticed.

We had to remove it
for some repairs,

but we've put you just around
the corner, in locker...

.

Sorry for the inconvenience,
but it's only temporary.

Did he say... Locker ?

Yeah. Why?

That locker belonged
to Little Jack Murphy.

Who?

It was the s.

The school had just opened.

Little Jack Murphy started
his first day at Lakewood

by putting his things
in his locker.

But this was
no ordinary locker.

It was !

He noticed strange sounds
and even stranger smells.

Then, bad things started
happening to him.

(yowls)

(yells)

(crash)

(spokes clicking)

FERN:
He knew that somehow his
misfortune was connected

to that locker.

(Jack grunting, dog barking)

FERN:
But no one believed him.

Then one day, he just...
disappeared.

Nice try, Fern.

Where'd you learn that one?

A Persimmony Glitchet book?

Don't say I didn't warn you!

(door creaks open)

(dismissively):
Little Jack Murphy!

Wait, not finished yet.

(sucking)

Almost...

(sucking)

There.

Why are you collecting these?

It's for a model
of the Eiffel Tower

I'm making for shop class.

I need as many sticks
as I can get.

FRANCINE:
Hey, look this way,
Prunella!

(shutter clicks)

I'm doing a story on your
haunted locker for The Star.

You have a haunted locker?

What's haunting it?

An old scarf? Mittens?

No, see, there was this kid
named Little Jack Murphy, and...

That's just one of
Fern's creepy stories.

My locker is not haunted.

It sounded pretty convincing,
but I'm looking into it.

Let's get some sh*ts
of fear for the front page.

(shutter clicks)

(sniffing)

Smells a little like... onions?

(clanking)

(gasps)

MARINA:
I said I would help you finish
your project,

not do it all myself.

I'll be right there.

Today, strange occurrences
foretold came true.

Tell us, O Crystal Ball,

will the spirits of Locker
cause me bad luck?

No answer.

Well, that's a relief.

(gasps)

(gasps)

(loud crunch)

That didn't sound good.

What do I do?!

My project's due tomorrow!

Start gluing.

Shop class is cancelled today?

(groans)

I stayed up till midnight
for nothing.

Yesterday it was onions.

Now it's... (sniffs) cabbage?

(eerie laughter)

(Prunella gasps)

(gasps)

Oh...

What is that?

The Eiffel Tower.

I helped.

See? That's my stick.

I'd recognize it anywhere.

I've been carrying it around all
day and now it's falling apart.

Maybe I should just call it
the Awful Tower.

Why not store it in your locker?

Haven't you heard?

Prunella has Locker .

The haunted locker!

That's ridiculous.

PRUNELLA:
I thought so, too,

but now I'm not so sure.

It makes strange noises
and it smells funny.

What locker
doesn't smell funny?

Buster's smells
like rotting fruit.

It's one banana.

I keep it for emergencies.

Prunella, whatever is wrong
with your locker,

there's a logical
explanation for it.

You're right.

I can't let a mindless piece
of metal push me around.

Oh...

This tower is staying in that
locker till shop tomorrow

and that's final!

(metal clanking)

Oh, can it!

(phone rings)

Hi, Francine.

What's up?

I checked the
school records

and there's never been
a Jack Murphy at this school.

That's great!

But...

(groans)

FRANCINE:
In ,

there was a boy named
Jay Mayberry.

It's the same initials.

He might be the kid Fern
was talking about.

Did he have Locker ?

I don't know.

But, get this-- he was only
at Lakewood for one year,

and it was
the fourth grade.

(doorbell rings)

Our take-out's here--
gotta go.

DEEP VOICE:
Delicious!

I love French food!

Hey! Stop eating
my Eiffel Tower!

You want it back?

Here!

(screams)

LOCKER:
You look like a tasty
little morsel--

as tasty as
Little Jay Mayberry!

No!

(gasps)

Phew.

MARINA:
Prunella, it was just a dream.

I know, but I'm still never
going to open that locker again.

What about your shop project?

Don't you have to
hand it in today?

I'll tell Mr. Bevel
I lost it.

MARINA :
You lost a three-foot model
of the Eiffel Tower?

He's not going to buy that.

Besides, you worked
so hard on it.

PRUNELLA:
I can't help it.

I'm just too afraid.

You okay?

Fine.

It happens.

I wish I were brave like you.

You know what bravery is?

Being fearless?

No.

It's being afraid of something,

but not letting that
get in the way.

See you after school!

Don't let that locker win.

(sniffs)

Apple pie?

Well, I guess that's better
than cabbage.

WOMAN:
Needs something.

Jack?

I mean, Jay?

Is that you?

What is it that you need?

WOMAN:
More salt.

"More salt"?

Um... okay.

Why would a ghost want
more salt?

Hey, the smell is
even stronger here.

(grunting with exertion)

(gasps)

It's coming from that vent!

(distant clanging
and clattering)

(clattering grows louder)

You're the ghost?

Ghost?

I don't think so, honey.

Nope. Still here.

Want to try the chicken noodle?

It needed a little salt,
but now I think it's perfect.

It was you!

That vent must lead
to the one behind Locker .

And those were
the pies I smelled.

They're apple, right?

Organic apples.

Mmm...

And if you wanted a slice,

I might just look
the other way.

(sniffing)

FERN:
"Prunella Unlocks Haunted
Locker Mystery!"

So? Admit it.

You made up that entire
story just to scare me.

No, I didn't.

I had no idea where those sounds
and smells came from.

But... I may have made up
a few small details.

Like "Little Jack Murphy"?

I liked the name.

(slurping)

Here you go.

All clean.

Thanks, but I already handed in
my Eiffel Tower.

I got a B.

I kind of wish the locker
had been haunted.

I like believing in ghosts,
so long as they're nice.

Sorry, Buster.

Looks like you'll have
to stick with aliens.

(child laughing)

To watch more Arthur
and play games

with all of the Elwood City
friends,

visit pbskidsgo.org.

You can find Arthur books
and lots of other books, too,

at your local library.

♪ What a wonderful kind
of day ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Hey! ♪
♪ What a wonderful kind
of day ♪

♪ What a wonderful kind
of day ♪

♪ Hey! ♪