05x09 - Just Desserts/The Big Dig

[bunniefuu]

♪ Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view. ♪

( laughs )

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen
to your heart ♪

♪ Listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together and make things
better by working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other. ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day. ♪

Hey!

Arthur:
Hey, D.W.

Hey!

Whoa!

( crash )

Arthur:
Whoa, look at that monster!

I wonder if he's going to...

( gasps ):
He did, he ate that kid--

bones and all.

That's so gross.

I bet you thought I was reading
a Scare Your Pants Off book.

Well, I wasn't.

It's Fairy Tales.

These are some
of the weirdest, scariest

most exciting stories ever.

There are
talking pigs...

( snorting )

And I was doing this

hundreds of years before Babe.

Two-headed trolls...

I say we bake him
in a pie.

I say we put him
in a soup.

( chuckling ):
I say we let him go.

I didn't always like
fairy tales.

I used to think they were
really babyish, until one day...

But I should begin
at the beginning.

Comfy?

"Once upon a time,
there was a boy named Arthur

whose Dad was an amazing cook."

Wow, what kind of cake is that?

Chocolate fudge brownie
with a vanilla custard filling

topped with butterscotch icing
and peanut butter toffees.

Could I try a teensy...

No-- it's for a wedding
Mom and I are catering tonight.

Maybe Grandma
will make

some of her
chocolate chip cookies.

Ow, my teeth!

Terrific.

Film announcer:
Many sea creatures live
on or near the ocean floor...

( snoring )

Announcer:
...such as the sea cucumber

the jellyfish
and the wedding cake.

( dreamily ):
Peanut butter toffees.

I thought it was
a piece of cake.

You've got cake?
Can I have some?

I was talking
about the history quiz.

I thought
it was easy.

Oh, sorry, Buster--
my dad made this
incredible cake.

I've been thinking
about it all day.

Lucky you.

No, unlucky me.

I won't get any because
it's for a wedding.

And my grandma's
making dinner tonight.

Y-y-you mean...
that cheesy tuna-noodle thing?

( sighs ):
Probably.

Then you might want
to stock up on
some real food.

Arthur:
Chocolate, nougat, caramel

peanut brittle and gummy eels.

A balanced meal
of all the food groups.

Mmm-mmm.

( gasps )

Where's the cheesy
tuna-noodle thing

you usually make?

Sorry to disappoint you, Arthur.

Your father left
dinner for us.

He did?

Hooray!

I mean...

um... how nice you don't have

to do any work, Grandma.

Thank you, dear.

Now, if you both
clean your plates

I have a big surprise
for you.

Whew!

Now, what's the surprise?

We get to watch
scary movies until Mom
and Dad come home?

D.W.:
Are we going
to a toy store

and you're going
to buy us any toys
we want?

No.

Your father left us
some of the wedding cake.

( stomach gurgling )

Arthur:
I really shouldn't.

I'm going to burst.

Maybe just one tiny bite.

( groans )

Serves you right
for eating two slices
of cake.

Would you like me
to read to you, Arthur?

That's what I used
to do when you had
an upset stomach.

Yes, read to us,
Grandma.

Oh, not fairy tales,
they're so boring.

Why don't you read the new
Scare Your Pants Off book

Bloodsucking Beavers
of Bavaria?

No.

I bet these fairy tales

are just as exciting and
frightening as that book.

Maybe if you're a baby.

Grandma, I think
Arthur wants to go to bed early.

All right,
settle down,
you two.

Now, let's see...

Ah, here's a good one.

"Once upon a time

"there lived a poor woodcutter
who had two children:

"a boy named Hansel
and a girl named Gretel.

One year, a great famine
fell upon the land."

Huh? Where am I?

D.W.:
Oh, dear brother

we are stranded in the middle
of a deep, dark forest

with only a crust of bread.

You can have my half,
I'm stuffed.

It's not for eating, silly.

It's for marking a trail
so we can get back home, see?

( gasps )

But some animal
has been eating the crumbs

and now we're lost.

( burping )

Mmm, bread!

Let's walk further
into the forest.

Maybe we'll find
a nice stranger
who'll help us.

( wind whistling )

Boy, I'm tired
of these leather shorts.

They may be cute,
but I'm freezing.

Me, too.

All I get is this dress
with lace trim.

It's like wearing
a tablecloth--
I'm freezing.

( animal howls )

D.W.:
Great, now we're
even more lost.

We'll probably be eaten
by bloodsucking beavers.

Any more
bright ideas?

D.W., I think
we're in luck.

Look.

This is no ordinary house.

There are chocolate chips
in the walls

and the windows are made
of... fruit rolls.

Hey, look what's in the mailbox.

Junk food mail.

Mmm, spicy nacho flavor.

Must be a letter
from Mexico.

( in Ratburn's voice ):
Well, well, well,
what have we here?

Two scrumptious
little children.

Oh, sorry, sir.

We were just admiring
your house.

It's, um, very tastefully
decorated.

This?

This is nothing.

Wait till I take you
to... the mall!

Woman:
Semi-sweet chocolate cookware!

It's a cinch to clean.

Arthur:
The sight of all this
candy is making me sick.

Can we go home now?

Right after I buy
a new oven.

Let's see, you look
like you're a medium.

Arthur and D.W.:
Let us out!

Let us out!

Oh, I will...

as soon as the oven heats up.

Now, where did I put
those cloves?

Arthur.

The bars on the cell
are candy canes.

We can lick our way out.

( Arthur's stomach gurgling )

I can't.

I'm too full.

We're ready.

( giggling )

( Mr. Ratburn screaming )

Mr. Ratburn:
I'm melting... I'm melting!

Tommy and Timmy,
you saved us!

I'm not Tommy,
I'm Pesky.

And these are my brothers:

Whiny, Grouchy, Angry, Noisy,
Creepy and Stinky.

Brothers:
And you're our princess,
Doe White.

I'm not Doe White.

I'm D.W.

It stands for Dora Winifred.

Brothers:
You must come with us,
Princess, it's nap time.

D.W.:
No! Put me down!

Arthur, go to Grandma's!

Get help!

( panting )

( laughing )

Nice pants, Arthur--
where's the flood?

I've got to find
something else to wear.

A cape.

This'll do.

( Binky laughing )

That's even better.

Who are you?
Superdoofus?

( laughing )

( doorbell rings )

Grandma Thora:
Come in.

You'll have to excuse
my appearance.

I've been a little
under the weather.

Grandma, what
creamy skin you have.

It's my new
moisturizer.

And what frosty hair you have.

And what dark,
chocolaty eyes.

The better
to be eaten by you!

( gulps )

( groans )

Arthur Read!

Did you eat Grandma?

It wasn't Grandma.

It was
that wedding cake.

I've heard
that one before.

Sheesh, I spent my day cleaning
and cooking for the Tibbles

and this is what I find.

I'm telling
Mom and Dad.

Don't worry,
little girl.

It is I, Buster the Woodcutter.

I'll have your grandma
out of him

in a jiffy.

It's me, Arthur.

No, it isn't.

You're a grandma-eating wolf
disguised as Arthur.

Or maybe you're
a grandma-eating alien

disguised as a wolf
disguised as Arthur.

Either way...

( gasps )

No!

Are you all right,
Arthur?

Did you have
a nightmare?

It's probably from all those
fairy tales you were reading.

See? They are scary.

My stomach really hurts.

Grandma Thora:
Chew these

and in a little while,
you'll feel better.

D.W.:
You get us lost in the woods,
then you eat Grandma

and now you've sold
my Mary Moo Cow for some beans!

But... but...
they're magic beans.

That's what I think
of your magic beans.

Whoa!

( loud rumbling )

You better hope
there's another toy for me

at the top
of that thing.

( grunting )

Why couldn't I have dreamed
an elevator for this thing?

( gasps )

Wow!

Boy, this place is bigger
than Home Hardware Heaven.

( goose squawks )

Watch it,
you silly goose.

Hey, D.W. will
love this.

( bellowing ):
Fee, fi, fo, fum!

( screams )

Who are you?

I am everything
you've ever eaten--

½ years of food.

And that's my goose.

( footsteps thundering )

I hope this is a dream
where I can fly.

( screaming )

( goose squawks )

( gasps ):
What a cute little goose!

D.W., we've got to get
out of here!

The giant's coming.

Buster:
Stand back.

I'm also a beanstalk cutter.

( growls )

Timber!

( loud thud )

( burps loudly )

I feel much better.

I guess that last fairy tale
really did the trick.

Arthur:
And from then on, Arthur
never ate too much candy

and he lived
happily ever after.

The end.

Well... maybe the "happily ever
after" part will come true.

I have the coolest grandpa
in the whole world.

And he's finally coming
to visit me.

Arthur!

My favorite grandson!

What do you want
to do first?

Should we explore
the forbidden caves

or do you want to wrestle
some alligators?

And say, do you think

we could get out
of here without D.W.?

D.W.:
He's not coming
to visit you.

He's coming
to visit me!

( both laughing )

Grandpa:
I could do this for hours, D.W.

Hours and hours!

Arthur:
As I was saying

Grandpa Dave hardly
ever gets to visit us...

because he lives
so far away.

But now he's coming
for a long, long time!

I'm talking!

And he's
going to take me
to Ponyland...

No, he's not!

He's going to take me
to Wonder World!

And he'll buy
me presents!

( Arthur groans )

I just love Grandpa Dave.

( crying )

( snoring )

D.W.:
Mom, when is
Grandpa Dave going home?

It's been a week already.

What's the matter?

All he wants to do is
sleep and play checkers.

And he didn't
bring any presents.

Kids!

I know Grandpa isn't
as active as he was...

You can say that again!

Mom:
And I know you've had
to give up a lot of TV

because he can't
manage the stairs.

But he's still
the same Grandpa.

D.W.:
No, he's not.

He's a different
grandpa

and I don't like it.

Hey, how are
my favorite grandkids?

Fine.
Fine.

Any plans for the day?

Any great adventures brewing?

Uh-uh.
No.

Well, how's about

we play checkers
when you get home?

Kids?

Look at
the time!

I'll be late
for school!

Me, too!

I have to go... play!

See you later, alligators.

So, you want to come
over to my house?

I can't--
I have to go home.

My Grandpa's visiting.

But I thought
you liked him.

I used to, but
he's so boring now.

All he ever
wants to do

is sleep
and play checkers.

Checkers isn't bad.

You haven't played
with Grandpa Dave.

Grandpa?

( snoring softly )

Grandpa!

( snorting ):
Huh? Wha...?

I moved.

It's your turn.

Oh, so you did.

Well, I move... here.

( snoring loudly )

Oh, brother.

Wow, sounds fun.

( sarcastically ):
Yeah, it's a blast.

See you.

Quick!
Think of something!

Grandpa just woke up
and he wants to play checkers.

We'll be bored for three hours.

Grandpa:
Is that you, Arthur?

Ready for a game?

Sure!

But I have to, uh...
do something first.

Can I help
with your homework?

I'm in preschool.

I don't have homework.

Grandpa:
I'm waiting!

There's nothing like
a game of checkers.

Here you are!

Okay, how about
if D.W. goes first

and Arthur...

you keep score.

King me.

Grandpa!

King me.

What did you say?

Hey, look at that, D.W.--

you won!

Anyone for
another game?

We've played eight already.

Only eight?

Why, when I was your age

I'd play , games
in a single afternoon.

One time...
( stifling a sneeze )

( sneezes )

( checkers rattle )

What's this?

Oh, just a little...

Nothing for little children
to worry about.

I am not little.

I'm eight!

Well, that's true.

But this... this is big stuff.

For grown-ups, really.

I'm a grown-up in spirit.

Mom says so.

Hmm...

Well, maybe it is time
for you to hear the story

of your great-great-great...

great-great-great-great--
whew!-- Uncle Blacktooth.

Argghh!

The meanest pirate
to roam the seven seas.

That's me!

Argghh!

Actually, there are seas, sir

and that doesn't
include oceans:

the Indian,
the Arctic...

( coughing )

( Arthur yelling )

Grandpa:
Besides being mean,
and never brushing his teeth

Blacktooth was very, very rich.

He'd been robbing ships
for a long time.

Blacktooth:
Ten million and one...

ten million and two diamonds
and , pounds of candy!

Whoo-ee! I'm rich!

Grandpa:
In fact, he had
so much treasure

it was sinking his ship.

He had to find a place
to hide it.

By sheerest coincidence, the
nearest port was Elwood City.

Late at night, the treasure
was unloaded and buried.

Blacktooth drew a map of
where the treasure was buried

but it was years
before he came back for it.

I know it's around
here someplace.

Would you read
the map, already?

Or ask somebody!

Hey! Hey you!

Seen any treasure
around here?

Poor old Blacktooth

never found his treasure.

It's still buried...

right here in Elwood City.

Wow...

Where's the map?

For a long time,
the map was lost.

But it was recently rediscovered

and I tell you, I intend
to go looking for that treasure

just as soon as I feel better.

You interested in joining me?

Mom:
You've been in here
a long time.

Could somebody help
set the table?

But we're having fun!

Grandpa's telling us a story.

Go on, kids.

We can finish
after supper.

That's more like it.

I think their favorite grandpa
is back in business.

Arthur?
Are you awake?

I am now.

I can't go to sleep.

I keep thinking
about that treasure.

Me, too.

What if we found it?

Arthur:
Mine!

All mine!

( gasping )

( Arthur coughing )

Female chorus:
♪ You know you've
always dreamed it ♪

♪ And with money
dreams come true ♪

♪ You've dreamed your
plastic unicorn would grow ♪

♪ Just as big as you. ♪

We have to find

that treasure!

But we don't
have the map.

At least not yet.

So, uh, Grandpa,
we were just wondering

what the treasure map
looked like.

Well, it's
old and yellow

with lots of Xs
and dotted lines--

just what a treasure map
should look like.

You up for another
round of checkers
this afternoon?

Yeah, sure!
Anytime!

Arthur:
It was a white shirt, right?

With red buttons?

With blue buttons!

It's not here.

( TV droning )

D.W.:
How can anybody
sleep that much?

Shh!

It's got
to be here.

Maybe we should
just ask him.

No! He said he wanted
to wait until he felt better

and that could take forever.

I mean, it would be nice if we
could find the treasure for him.

Hey, wait!

I've got it!

Huh? Wha...?

( TV continues droning )

Let's go.

Arthur:
"I, D.W.,
solemnly swear..."

I, D.W.,
solemnly swear...

"To never reveal
the contents of this map..."

To never reveal the contents
of this map--

not even if someone tortures me

or makes me eat worms
and dead...

"And to obey the commands
of my brother, Arthur..."

And to...

Forget it!

Open the map.

You know what?

No. What?

Oh, wow!

What?! What?!

I think
the treasure's buried...

right by the tree house.

( gasps )

Bye!

See you later!

Have fun at the doctor's!

Take your time!

Don't hurry back!

( whispering ):
Quit it.

Now!

So, we need to go
paces towards the creek.

What's a pace?

It's... a...

like that.

of those.

Both:
One... two... three...

Both:
Nineteen...

Twenty.

Whoa!

And now we have to go
paces... east.

Stupid pirate!

This is it.

"X" marks the spot.

Hurry up.

Diamonds, rubies, candy

here I come!

Arthur?

Where are you?

Arthur:
Down here!

I don't get it.

We're right
where the map said.

Grandpa:
What in tarnation
are you doing?

We've been
looking for you.

We're finding
the treasure, Grandpa--

Blacktooth's treasure!

We found the map

and the diamonds and candy
are supposed to be right here.

Only they're not.

Oh, gee.

You see, it was just a story.

I thought you knew that.

I didn't realize you kids
would take it so seriously.

You mean, the map's not real?

It's not a pirate's map?

Well... no.

See, I drew
it up myself.

I was going
to hide some candy

and then let you
dig it up, but...

well, you kids
got ahead of me.

You lied, Grandpa.

You lied!

I don't care if
this is Grandpa's room.

I'm watching
Bionic Bunny.

Me, too, and I don't
even like Bionic Bunny.

I know you kids are mad at me

but there's something
I've meant to give you

and now is probably a good time.

What is it?

It's a real treasure, Arthur--

a gold compass that belonged to
your great-great-great-uncle.

Sure...
Blacktooth, right?

( chuckling ):
No, Matthew was his name

and he sailed
all around the world.

I've treasured this compass
my whole life

and now I want you both
to have it.

Is it worth a lot of money?

I don't really know
about that.

But I do know
that it saved Matthew's life.

He and his crew were caught

in the storm of ' ,
the worst of the century

and ended up drifting
for days in a tiny lifeboat.

All they had was water
and this compass

and a checkerboard.

Is this for real?

Cross my heart
and spit in your eye.

Matthew was a fiend
for checkers, just like me

and they played checkers
to pass the time.

How small was the lifeboat?

Ooh, it was
a tiny old thing.

Fit for a couple
of mice, really.

Seven men had
to cram aboard

in the middle
of the night

and then watch as their ship
was swallowed by the waves.

feet high,
some of them were!

But with the compass,
they were able to keep track

of where they were drifting.

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen
to your heart ♪

♪ Listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other. ♪

Hey!

Hey!