04x02 - Don't Trust the G in Apt 4B

[bunniefuu]

(spooky music playing)

(sewing machine clicking)

Alright! (squeals)

I'm all done with
the Halloween costumes!

Woo‐hoo!

Cutting it close, Auntie Rae.
Halloween's tonight.

That's why I said
"woo," Levi. Woo‐hoo!

Oh hey, kids!
Look‐look‐look
at what I got you!

Oh. These are cute.
And they are?

Star Peeps and Super Peeps.

I know you kids love
your Super Space Peeps.

Oh! And Levi, here!
I got you a ghost costume!

This is a baby bed sheet.

Yeah, I don't like
the implication.

Thanks, Mom, but I already know
what I'm gonna dress up as.

A high schooler who is too old

to beg for candy
in these streets.

Yeah, Mom, we loved your
homemade costumes as kids,

but we are adults now.

Young adults.

Agreed. I don't
wanna be a ghost.

No sheets in these streets!

I can't pull that off, huh?

You are never too old
to dress up, okay?

Hey, guys! Look! Look.

I got my diaper back
from the cleaners. Ooh!

I can't wait to show you
my Baby New Year costume!

Be right back!

‐Okay, she's too old to be
dressing in that outfit.
‐(thunder rumbling)

(spooky, distorted theme song)

♪ Let me tell you somethin' ♪

♪ Had my vision all worked out ♪

♪ But then life
had other plans ♪

♪ It's crazy when things
turn upside down ♪

‐♪ But ya gotta get up
and take that chance ♪
‐(witch laughing)

‐♪ Maybe I'm
just finding my way ♪
‐♪ Learning how to fly ♪

‐♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪
‐♪ Ya know I got you, right? ♪

♪ It might be wild, but ya
know that we make it work ♪

‐♪ We're just kids caught
up in a crazy world ♪
‐(deep laugh)

‐♪ C'mon! ♪
‐♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

‐♪ We get loud! ♪
‐♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough, but together
we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other
like family should ♪

‐♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
‐♪ When it's tough ♪

‐♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
‐♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cos no matter the weather,
ya know we gon' shine ♪

♪ There for each other,
ya know it's our time ♪

Yup! That's us!

(laughing)

(spooky music playing)

Scaring the kids into the
holiday spirit is genius, Rae.

I still have so much
to learn from you.

(chuckles)
Well, pro tip number one.

Teach through terror,
never an error.

Wow. Chills, Rae.
Literally, look!

‐Wow! ‐Question.

What's pro tip number two?

If you do number one right,
you won't need number two.

‐Ha ha! Hide! ‐Whoa!

(sighs) Cue spider.

‐(hiss) ‐(witchy cackling)

‐Cue scream. ‐(recorded scream)

(witchy cackling)

Cue cobwebs.

(laughing)

Mom, Aunt Chelsea,

you guys do these same
scares every year.

Yes! Every year, you love them!

Why‐why‐why do you not
love them this year?

Mom, we do love your scares,

but these are just a little...

‐what's the word?
‐(cough) Amateurish.

(both gasp)

Did you just call us amateur?

Uh, I'm afraid he did.

Ish. Amateurish.

You know, you kids and your

"too cool for holidays" attitude

‐is ruining our fun.
‐Yeah! Listen,

we spend every day of
the year protecting you.

Let us, today,
scare you. You know,

‐let us scare you!
‐Tess: Trick or treat!

‐(screaming)
‐There's blood on her shirt.

‐What? This? ‐Blood... Blood...

This is just tomato sauce!

Apparently, you're supposed
to toss the pizza in the air

before you sauce it.

‐Okay, then what's this?
‐A ghost pepper.

Apparently, you're supposed
to put the toppings on

after you toss it!

I've a lot to learn about pizza.

Ghost pepper? How spooky!

We ain't afraid of
no ghost... pepper.
(laughs)

‐(eerie low whisper)
‐We are afraid of
the ghosts in apartment 4B!

You guys are kidding, right?

There's no such thing as ghosts.

(laughs)
Yeah, of course!
Right! Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Have fun being too cool
for Halloween. Bye!

Guys, Ms. B and Ms. G are right.

Okay, apartment 4B
is for sure haunted.

Every time I pass it
on my way to the roof,

I feel an eerie cold draft.

That just sounds
like wind, Tess.

We do live in the Windy City.

Well, ghosts are 92% wind.

Okay, well this one time,
I was dribbling my ball in the hall,

and the door opened
all by itself!

The ball bounced off
my shoe and rolled in,

never to be seen again.

And it was signed, too!

Guys, guys, that's it!

Here we are, we've been looking
for high schooler scares,

and it's been under our
noses this entire time.

I‐I guess above our noses.

You've got resting idea face,
so what are you thinking?

Let's spend Halloween
in the apartment upstairs.

Nope! No! Not a chance!

Why not, Tess?
It's not really haunted.

It's just a little spooky, huh?
What do you say?

I have plans with Ramon tonight,

but good luck with
your death wish, Book.

So does anyone want this
ghost pepper from Tess' hair?

♪ ♪

Raven, Chelsea, hi.
Trick or treat.

Ah! Well,

I'm gonna say treat
since it's always

a treat to see you, Peggy.

Aw. And look at you, Jillian,

in that adorable
Unihorse costume.

My kids used to love that show!

‐Remember, Chels?
‐Yeah. Uh, um...

♪ My little Unihorses ♪

♪ Flying steeds
with magic forces ♪

‐♪ Always to defend ♪
‐♪ To the end! ♪

(laughing)

Oh, you really are so adorable!

Honey, let me see. You know,

they don't make this
costume in my size.

Ageists.

Well, that's a cute
costume, too, Peggy.

What is that, a nurse? Ha ha!

Hilarious.

Oh no. Actually, I just
got called into work.

What? You guys get to
wear costumes to work?

You must have so much fun!

Well, it's a hospital,
so not really. (laughs)

Uh, Peggy's an actual nurse.

Who has to work on Halloween.
That's a bummer.

I know, and Jillian was
really looking forward

to tonight. You ready to go?

Hey, wait a minute!
Peggy! Peggy, listen!

Chels and I have to
go down to our store

for the big Halloween
block party,

and since our kids
are "too cool"
to dress up this year,

we'd love to take
Jillian with us.

Yeah! There'll be
a lot of fun and games,

and she can help us
pass out candy.

That sounds so great.
Thank you so much.

Hey, what do you say, Jillian?

Yes! How perfect is this?

You guys are lifesavers,
and I love

these costumes, by the way.

It's a foot and a...

‐Is this a bug? ‐No.

No, I'm a spider. Yeah? (laughs)

You know, I'm webby, eight legs.

I was supposed to be a baby,

but someone poo‐pooed
that idea. Oh!

Baby! Poo‐pooed! Get it?

(laughs) I'm so funny!

♪ ♪

Hey, Book. You rang?
And by rang,

I mean you sent us
a string of emojis.

A rooftop, a ghost, a pumpkin,
and a cheeseburger?

Yeah, meet me on the roof
to discuss Halloween,

and bring a cheeseburger.

I cracked that code.

Yep. Gotta fuel up for tonight,

when we spend Halloween
in apartment 4B.

This burger has no cheese.

Again with this 4B thing?

Yes! It's really important
to me that we spend

our first Halloween
together as high schoolers.

I'm not a high schooler.

Bruh, don't k*ll my vibe.

Booker, not in
a million, billion,

trillion, zillion years

will you get me to go up
to that haunted apartment.

You sure about that, Tess?

Yes. Ramon and I
are watching movies

from the safety of his
five‐piece sectional.

Yeah. That's right.
My guy is rich.

Hey hey! I got your text, Book.

Super excited about
spending Halloween

in that haunted apartment.

‐Come on, man! ‐Yeah. Booker,

how dare you use Tess'
love for Ramon against her.

(quietly):
Hey! We're not using
the L‐word yet, Nia.

(whispers): Oh. Sorry.

Nice try, Book,
but I'm still not going.

Okay, sweet boyfriend here,
fear of ghosts

way up here!

Sorry, sweet boyfriend.

(whooshing)

(echoing):
There. We made it till midnight.

Hey, Ramon,
why don't you finish this

while I talk some
sense into my peeps?

Guys, I just had a vision.

We were in apartment 4B
at midnight!

‐So?
‐So, if we're still in
that apartment at midnight,

obviously,
there aren't any ghosts.

Hey, this burger
doesn't have any cheese.

I'm sorry!

What do you say, Tess?

Trick or treat?

♪ ♪

(knob clicks, door creaks)

Uh... the building's probably
just built on a slant.

‐(creak) ‐Like a‐‐

like a super slanty slant!

Let's, uh, let's go with that.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(eerie noises)

Whoa. This place is...

‐great. ‐So great!

Okay, we've seen it now.
Can we go?

No! Not until we've had
the best Halloween ever.

Hey, you guys, check it out.

It's the grandfather
clock from my vis... it.

My visit.

To my grandfather's house.

He has the same clock.

I'll get the lights.

(fizzling)

Oh, come on!

Guys, we came up here for
some real grownup scares.

When is the scary stuff
supposed to happen?

Nia!

Why do you wanna hurt me?

Well, usually in the movies,
the scary stuff happens

when you turn around for a sec,
then quickly look back.

Hoo!

Well, that didn't work.

Well, maybe if we all do it.

Yeah, like in unison.
Okay? We just turn around.

And then we turn back.

(all screaming)

What happened?!
It's the ghost, isn't it?!

You know what?
Um, why don't
we just split up

‐and check the apartment?
‐Split up?

Why would you taunt
the ghost like that?

The sooner we prove to you
that ghosts aren't real,

the sooner you'll feel better!
Isn't that what you want?

Yes.

Hoo!

It was worth a sh*t.

(bouncing)

♪ ♪

‐Bye, you guys!
‐Bye, you guys! Be good!

‐See you later!
‐Happy Halloween!

‐Wow! Trick or treat!
‐Oh well, hello!

Trick or treat!
Wow, the My Little Unihorse
costume

is all the rage this year.

‐I know. It must be
because of the reboot.
‐Yeah.

I love a reboot.

Oh my gosh, I thought
this would be easier, Rae,

but I miss when Levi used
to dress up, remember?

Oh, don't get me started,
Chels! Look, look!

Here is Booker and Mia as
peanut butter and jelly.

Peanut butter and banana. Ah!

Peanut butter and cat!

Yeah. Booker wore that a lot.

Yeah, you know, he didn't
grow for about three years.

Almost four.

Peanut butter and witch!

‐Remember that? ‐Oh.

(crying):
It's starting, Chels...

(crying): Oh, my babies!

♪ ♪

Booker:
Hey, this is the same
bedroom as ours.

Wow. Wow!

Look at how big this
place is when it's empty!

I mean, I would have so much
more room if Levi wasn't there.

You have to know
I'm standing right here.

Oh, look, a closet.

(deep growling)

Hey, very funny, Levi.

I know that's just you
trying to scare me.

I can't make sounds that deep!

(voice cracking):
At least not for a couple
of years. (clears throat)

(deep growling)

Okay, Tess.

The ghost is clear.
Oh, the coast!
The coast is clear.

That's what they
want you to think.

Guys, is it kinda warm in here?

Aw. Is it 'cause Tess
makes you nervous?

‐Well, normally, yes. ‐Both: Aw.

No, but right now, like,
I'm literally burning up.

(steam hissing)

Wait, w‐why is that happening?

Uh, more importantly,
why aren't we listening

to the mirror that's
telling us to leave?

♪ ♪

(screaming)

(all screaming)

Did you guys, uh,
spook yourselves out?

Whatever. Why are
you guys out here?

‐Because he spooked himself out.
‐No!

No, I didn't!
That's not what happened.

The closet made a noise,

and I came out here
to check on you.

Okay, well when a ghost
writes me a message

in a bathroom mirror,
I listen! Let's go!

No, Tess, there has to be
an explanation for all of this!

Levi, do you still have that
camera from when you thought

you were gonna be
a big‐time director?

Really don't love how you
phrased that but, yes, I do.

♪ ♪

(whispers):
Hey, Chels.
Hey, Chels. Listen.

If you tell anybody,
I'll deny it, but, uh,

I actually had a really fun
time tonight without the kids.

Yeah. You know,
if the kids are too old

to dress up,
this might not be so bad.

‐(giggles) ‐Exactly.

Aw! Look at little Jillian.

Aw, she's so cute!

(phone ringing)

Oh, look, it's Peggy.
She says she found someone

to cover her shift.
She'll be here to get
Jillian in a minute.

Oh great! Well,

it looks like you'll be
able to go trick or treating

with your mom
after all, Jillian.

I'm not Jillian.

Well, who are you?

Who are you?

I'm Chelsea Grayson.
It's nice to‐‐

Wait a minute! Where's Jillian?!

‐Where is Jillian?
‐(both shouting)

‐Jillian! Jillian!
‐Okay, okay, okay.

Who do we call, Rae?
The fire department, huh?

The president? My pedicurist?

Probably not, but she
is good in a crisis.

‐Jillian! Jillian,
where are you?!
‐Jillian!

Where are you, Jillian?!

‐(kicking) ‐(both screaming)

♪ ♪

Okay, if we can capture
this weird stuff on video,

then we can explain it
and finally put

all this ghost talk to rest.

All my memories from
the past few years

are on this camera.

I haven't had a chance to
back it up, so everyone...

be careful.

Levi.

Stop hugging your camera.

♪ ♪

‐(creak, door slams)
‐(screaming)

‐(camera breaks) ‐Oh no!

My memories!

You guys, it's probably
just because of the whole

slanty building thing!
It... 'Cause it...

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(panicked murmuring)

Okay, okay, okay, okay!

Everyone, calm down!

There has to be a logical
explanation for all of this!

You've been saying
that all night!

Yet, look around!
Logic is nowhere to be found!

(voice cracking):
Yeah, dude, this is scary!

(normal voice):
I mean, whatever, bro.

I'll fight a boo for my boo.

Yeah, Booker. That door
closed all on its own.

How do you explain that?
And please,
don't just say slanty.

Know what?

Hey. You guys, look.

There's an air vent pointed
directly at the door.

I bet you the AC's on a timer,

and when it turned on,
the door slammed shut.

Okay, well, what about
the flickering lamp?

(fizzling)

(squeaking)

The bulb was just loose, see?

And how do you explain my
camera flying out of my hands?

♪ ♪

Greasy fingers.
You had some treats

when you went to pick up
your camera, didn't you?

I‐I'd like to see you resist
my mom's butter cookies.

Come on. Let's check out
the rest of these

unexplainable occurrences.

I mean, her cookies
are irresistible!

Tell me I'm not alone!

Uh, I'm alone.

♪ ♪

Think, think, think!
This is gonna be fine.

This is gonna be fine.
This is gonna be fine.

This is gonna be fine, right?!

I don't know, Rae!

How attached do you think
Peggy is to Jillian? I mean,

this kid's pretty cute.
M‐maybe it's okay, huh?

Wait! Wait, wait, wait. Cutie,

were you with that mom
and that group of
My Little Unihorses?

‐Mm‐hmm. ‐Well then, that's it!

Jillian's with them,
and she's safe!

Right? We just have to
catch up with that group.

Yes, genius, Rae! You know,

you do not get enough
credit for being a genius.

‐Well, thank you. ‐(both laugh)

‐Chelsea: Yeah,
let's do it! Let's go!
‐(both yell)

Okay, you first,
you first, you first!

Someone's gonna need
to stay with the kid.

Right, genius. I'll stay.

(nervous laugh)

Hey, it was...

I wanna say Beatrice?

‐Alexis.
‐Oh! So close. Uh, listen,

how do you feel about
changing your hair?

It's a maybe?

♪ ♪

(steam hissing)

Hey, uh,
this tub right here, Nia?

Yeah, it was running
all on its own.

That's what happens
when someone else

in our building
is taking a shower.

Ours used to do that too
before we got it fixed.

Old building, faulty pipes.
That checks out.

Well, what about
the mirror that,

very convincingly,
told us to leave?

Yeah. That ghost made its point.

You guys, look, there's
more to the message.

Oh, neat! Just text me
what it says. Bye!

You guys, it says
"leave the keys."

It's obviously a message
from the landlord

to the former tenant.

Why would someone leave
an important message like that

‐on a mirror? ‐Yeah! Why don't

we leave this apartment,

and go talk about that?

♪ ♪

See what I mean
about all this space?

What do you say, Nia?
Will you take Levi?

No way. I just got a real bed.

You can see me, right?

Am I the ghost?

(deep growling)

Can we run away
from the creepy noise

coming out of the closet now?

Yeah! As soon as I prove
it's not a real ghost.

(deep growling)

See? Just as I thought.

It's the same thing
with the bath water.

This building's creaky
old water pipes.

Man, this place is a disaster.

No wonder no one
wants to live here.

♪ ♪

‐Raven: I found her! ‐What?

‐I found her!
‐Oh, thank goodness!

I know. She was with the other
group of My Little Unihorses,

safe and sound.

Of course, of course
she was safe and sound!

There's no reason to panic.

(nervous laugh)

‐What's up with the wig? ‐What?

What, nothing! Ha!

No! We were just having fun,
you know, playing dress‐up.

What are we supposed
to do with...

uh, uh, I‐I wanna say Stacy?

(children chattering)

Hey, Mom.

Chelsea: Wow!

Look at us! Solving
problems left and right.

That's right, Chels,
that's right! Listen, listen.

‐Jillian's safe,
and Peggy never needs to know.
‐Mm‐hmm.

‐(chuckling)
‐Hey, you're good? Okay,

your mom will be here in
a second. Don't worry about‐‐

Hey, guys. Thank you so much

‐for taking Jillian tonight.
‐Any time!

‐We had a blast.
‐Yeah? How'd it go?

Good.

‐Thanks, guys.
‐Yeah, yeah, no worries.

(phone dings)

Oh, look at that.
I have a missed voicemail
from you.

Oh, I must've lost
service on the train.

Voicemail:
Hi, I'm Chelsea Grayson‐‐

Wait a minute!
Where's Jillian? Jillian?

I don't know! Who do we call,

the fire department?
The president? My pedicurist?

Wh... You lost my daughter?

‐No. No, we didn't...
She wasn't lost.
‐No...

You know what I mean?
It was more like a, a, a trick!

It was a trick
'cause it's Halloween,
and here's the treat!

Here's the treat!
Uh, trick or treat...

Wait, Peggy, could you,
um‐‐ I'm sorry.

Do you have a bag?
I need that bowl back.
My mama gave‐‐

Keep the bowl.

♪ ♪

Okay, can we please agree

that there's no such
thing as ghosts?

(overlapping chatter)

Good enough.

Look, and we still have three
more hours until midnight!

Guys, this should be
easy peasy lemon squeezey.

Wait. What about my autographed
basketball that was...

never to be seen again?

It was probably just
Mom and Aunt Chelsea

playing a trick on you.
You know they're
always telling you,

"Don't dribble in the hallways."

That's so our moms.

‐(all laughing) ‐(ball bouncing)

♪ ♪

(bouncing)

Mom?

Aunt Chelsea?

A‐a‐are you guys there?

(deep growling)

‐Ghost! Ghost! Run! ‐(screaming)

‐(screaming continues)
‐Nia: Wait, wait, wait!

Wait, weren't
we just in this room?

‐Whoa. Uh‐uh. ‐We were.

(scared murmuring)

Are we in a spooky loop?

I didn't even wanna
come here, Booker!

And now, I can never leave!

‐Hey, quick, the fire escape!
‐Yeah, okay!

Booker: Um, how is it light out?

‐(crickets chirping)
‐(panicked murmuring)

(fizzling)

‐Get me back in!
Get me back in!
‐(banging)

Thank you.

Booker, next time you wanna
invite me to something scary,

‐don't!
‐We need to get out of here!

But my vision said we
made it till midnight.

(clicking)

There! We made it till midnight!

Yeah, that was my vision.

‐Wait, where's the clock?
‐Wait, how are we
outside the apartment?

‐Who cares? We're out.
Just scream and run!
‐(all screaming)

(grunts)

♪ ♪

See? This is more
like it, Chels.

When you teach with terror,
it works every time.

You two had nothing
to do with apartment 4B.

Ah! That's what we
want you to think,

‐right? ‐(giggles)

‐No, you're right. We didn't.
‐Yeah.

But I am glad to see
everyone dressed up,

and, unlike Jillian,
we know our kids

‐are underneath here. ‐(laughs)

(pained yelling)

Calm down! Calm down!
We're just making sure
you're there.

You're here, you're good.

(deep growling)

(Chelsea and Rae screaming)

(shouting continues)

♪ ♪