03x13 - It's Not Easy Being Green

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

Raven: Raven's Home
was filmed in front a live
studio audience.

Uh... oh, come on, now.

Now I don't look like that.
My head is not that big.

(giggling)

Well, it is when
you're this close.

All right. Okay.

Okay. You wanna play,
you wanna play?
All right. Uh-uh.

I'll draw little legs here.

-No! No, come on, Booker!
I do not look like that.
-And that's you. And that's you.

Yeah, you're right.
You're way cuter.

Do you see the cupcaking
going on on my couch?

Yes. I see it.

But it's a lot more fun
watching you see it.

You about to have
a lot of fun right now.

I'm about to mommy
this situation.

Hey, study buddies.

Hey, you know what?
I never thought
I would say this,

but I think you guys
have done enough homework
for the night.

It's dinnertime.

Yeah, I'd better head out, BB.

Oh, I like this girl.
She understands that
I have enough mouths to feed.

Bye, Danni.

Hey, uh, uh,
text me later,
D-nice.

You know what's funny?

I got that door fixed,
so it just...

doesn't open
by itself anymore.
(chuckles)

The door was a*t*matic?
I've been using my hands,
like a fool.

Mom, do you have to
embarrass me like that?

Oh. Oh, really?
Well I can go get
that picture of you

sitting on the potty
doing your first poo poo.

You want me to go get that?
Danni, come back!

-Danni!
-No, no, no!

-♪ Hey ♪
-♪ Yo ♪

♪ Let me tell you somethin' ♪

♪ Had my vision
all worked out ♪

♪ But then life
had other plans ♪

♪ Tell 'em, Rae ♪

♪ It's crazy when things
turn upside down ♪

♪ But ya gotta get up
and take that chance ♪

-♪ Maybe I'm
just finding my way ♪
-♪ Learning how to fly ♪

-♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪
-♪ Ya know I got you, right? ♪

♪ It might be wild, but ya
know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just kids
caught up in a crazy world ♪

-♪ C'mon! ♪
-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

-♪ We get loud! ♪
-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough,
but together
we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other
like family should ♪

♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ When it's tough ♪

♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cos no matter the weather,
ya know we gon' shine ♪

♪ There for each other,
ya know it's our time ♪

(Raven laughing)

Yep! That's us.

(laughing)

(in British accent):
Anchovious, I know
exactly what to do.

But my plan isn't fully cooked.

So why are we playing with
Booker's dolls?

No, no, no, no, no, no.
They're, they're action figures.

As soon as I get
my stop-motion camera,

I'm gonna make a movie
starring Booker's dolls.

They're action figures!
They're action figures!

All right, my little filmmaker.

It's time to put
your actors away and...

-have my coq au vin
avec pomme frites.
-Mm.

I don't know what that is,
but I know I'm gonna eat it.

No, it's just
chicken and fries
with no bucket.

Okay, fam-bam. Uh-uh.

What y'all doin'
this weekend?
Whatcha gettin' into?

What can I say no to today?

Well, I need your
thrift store donations
by Saturday morning.

I can't say no to that.

Oh, and Tess and I
will be doing some
tutoring at school.

It's gonna be so much fun.

Learn up.

-Yeah.
-Well, yes,
volunteering can be fun.

I remember when
your mom and I
used to...

dedicate our time
to a lot of lost causes.

-Right?
-That was called dating,
Chels.

Oh. (laughs)

All right, Booker.
What are you doing
this weekend?

-Well, you know,
I'm hangin' with Danni--
-No, you're not.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I mean, um...

You, you spend so much t--
so much time with her.

I know, right?

Change of plan.
You're volunteering with
your sister and Tess.

What?
Mom, but what about Danni?

I'm sure you and Danni
can survive a weekend apart.

Mom, I can't believe
you'd do this to me.

(laughs)
I know, right?

♪♪

(bell rings)

Booker, it's the end
of the school week.
Are you ready?

Friday is our jam.

♪ Oh, oh, oh,
get it Levi,
get it Levi ♪

You know,
I'm starting to think

some of my swag
is rubbing off on you,
little bruh.

But I still can't believe
I have to spend my weekend
volunteering

instead of with Danni.

It's only two days.

What's the worst
that could happen?

(whooshing)

No, Booker.
I think we should
only be friends.

I just had a vision.
Danni said she just
wants to be friends.

Ooh. That's girl code for
"I want to break up with you."

-How do you know?
-Because I'm the...

love genius.

I gotta find some kind
of way to hang out with her
this weekend.

Otherwise we might be over.

I don't know, Booker.
Your mom has a way
of finding these things out.

But I'm still gonna volunteer.

I know a way to do both.

Hey, guys. You ready to roll?

Hello, my favorite sister.

How are you today?

Booker, the last time
you asked me how I was

was when you lost
your gym shorts
and had to borrow mine.

Ugh. We all remember that day.

What do you want?

I need a favor.

Wow.
Booker needs a favor from Nia?

That's the first time today.

Look, I was just thinking...

uh, maybe you could text Danni
and invite her to volunteer
with us this weekend?

Booker, you heard what Mom said.

If you spend the weekend
with Danni, "You gon' get it."

Yeah, but she didn't say
you was gon' get it.

Come on, Nia.
You have to do this for me.

-I don't have to do
anything for you.
-Ooh.

-For less than two weeks
of TV control.
-Ooh!

You're not a humanitarian.
You're a shark.

♪♪

Hey, Rae, what do you think
about these titles for my new
self-help book?

Um, Stop in the
Name of Chelsea.
Ahem.

Get Out of Your Head, Ted,
and Other Life Musings.

Or, um, Gundhufkidnt.

Gesundheit.

Oops. No, I must have
left my hand on the keyboard.

Look at us, Chels.
I'm a fashion designer
with her own mind,

and you are a life coach.

Learning basic typing skills.

-We're living the dream.
-Yeah! Yeah.

Hey, guys.
Since you're so successful,

how about you spot me
$70 for a stop-motion camera?

Oh. (scoffs)
Levi, honey.

I don't want to just
give you money.

You know,
I want to teach you
good work ethic, okay?

Well, I'm b*at.

Where are my pinking shears?

Top drawer on the left.

Oh. Thanks, Levi.

Where is my cashmere
from Cashmere?

Box by the fireplace.

You said that you'd never forget
that you put it there.

-Where's my--
-In the refrigerator
under the lettuce.

Levi, you are incredibly
intuitive.

You know what I want
before I know what I want,

and then when I know
what I want, you know
where to find it.

Okay, all right.
Ahem. Lightning round.

-Vacuum.
-Closet.

-Charger.
-Closet.

-Coat.
-Under the radiator.

Soaking up that leak.

Chels.

Chels.

Do you realize how amazing
your son's memory is?

Uh, yeah. Duh.

He gets it from me.
(chuckles)

I'm sorry.
What did you just ask me?

Levi, how would you like
a job as my assistant?
I'll pay you $5 an hour.

Hey, hey!
I want in on this.

How about I give you another $5,
and you assist both of us, huh?

$5 from you, $5 from you.
That's $20 an hour.

He's doing that new
common core math.

I am.

Wow. Our neighbors
really came through
for the clothing drive.

Yeah, but I don't know
if I can donate
Catman Clark's stuff.

I can't tell where
this sweater ends
and Mr. Whiskers begins.

It's sweet, BB,

but you really don't
have to carry those for me.

Nah, nah, nah.
It's cool.

I wasn't able to make it
to the gym this week.

(exhales)
Aah!

(laughs softly)
Well, thank you for
inviting me, you guys.

-Why wouldn't we?
-Of course.

I used to do a lot of
volunteering work

with my friends
back in San Francisco,

but after moving here,
I just didn't know
where to start.

Oh. well, Danni,
if you're really interested,

I have a list of city-wide
activities that we can
participate in.

Cool. I'm down.
I'd love to do this
more often.

Uh, yeah. Me, too.

Whenever and wherever you want,
D-nice.

I'm an open book... er.

(giggles)

Raven:
Just a second, Chels.

I have to put the rest of
these donations in the hall.

-Time for some cardio.
-Oh.

♪♪

Tape. Mop. Label. Sip.

-(slurps)
-Mm.

Tape. Mop. Label. Sip.

-(slurps)
-Mm.

-You are amazing.
-Thank you, Auntie Rae.

Five minute restroom break?

Actually, I'm okay.
I want to--

Ooh. Ooh, I got--

You're great.
I gotta go to the--
I'll be back.

So he was all, "Come on!"

And I was like, "Whatever."

Okay, uh, Sasha,

communication is really
the most important pa--

Levi? Levi, honey,
can you help me?
My computer's acting weird.

-Oh, sure thing, Mom.
-Okay. Yeah.

-I don't know.
It's just not--
-(keys clacking)

Uh, trying sitting
somewhere else.

-You may be out of
the Wi-Fi hot spot.
-Okay. All right.

Sasha? Sasha,
can you hear me?
Coming in, Sasha.

Sasha? Sasha? Hello?
Sasha? Sasha?

Hello. Coming in.
Can you hear me?

-Sasha.
-Come on, Levi.

Aah! The placard says Chelsea.
That means it's my turn.

Problem solved.

What? Rae, come on!
Aah! Oh. Hey, Sasha.
There you are.

-Sasha (over computer):
Are those your clothes?
-Well, look at that!

Look who said a sentence
without saying "like,"

or "whatever," huh?

Yeah. Goodbye, spoiled child,
hello, uh, you know.

Person who should still
buy my book. (chuckles)

Whatever. Can you angle me
so I can see that
amazing jacket?

-Oh. Oh, you mean
this amazing jacket?
-Oh.

Sasha (over computer):
Whoa.

Ha ha. Listen, if you want
your insides to feel good,

you should probably
wear this on the outside,
right?

-Chelsea, move.
You in my light.
-Huh?

♪♪

A train leaves the station
going 60 miles an hour

at 4 p.m. and it arrives at 7.

How far did it travel?
So--

Well, is it going uphill
or is it going downhill?

Is it raining,
or is it snowing?

Is there a tail wind?
I need more details.

(chuckles)
Okay.

I would rather fly, myself.

In a plane, of course.

Uh, that would be
a very short flight,

because three hours
times 60 miles would be
180 miles.

Okay, okay, okay.
Well, how about me and you
fly on out of here?

You know, hit the cafe,
grab a couple snacks.

Come on, Booker.
Be serious.

I have to tutor.
That's why we came here.

But why don't you
go tutor someone?

You know what?
You are absolutely right.

I'm gonna go ahead
and drop some science
over at the science table.

(clears throat)
Eh, yo, what's up, bruh?

Mm. All right,
here's some science
for you, okay?

Danni is the sun.

And you know, I'm--
I'm the Earth.

And, and I'm kind of trying to
revolve around her,
right, right, right?

But my mom is the moon.

And my sister
is like the shadow.

And, and Tess is like, um...

Well, well, I ran out of hands.
But you get my point.

(giggling)

What's so funny?

You're teaching science
at the French table.

(giggling continues)

Oh. Ah, no, no, no, no.
I knew that.

Look, let's, let's get back
to that lesson, right?

So we got our French toast,
our french fries, and our
French onion soup.

A bonjour.

And if you go through life
believing that you're rubber

and the other person's glue,
and everything you say

bounces off of them
and sticks to you,

then, you know,
maybe basketball's
not your sport.

But if they're rubber,
wouldn't things
bounce off of them?

I thought the other person
was glue.

I'm confused.

Yeah, no worries.

I thought that basketball thing
didn't make sense.

Levi, could you please
fix Margaret some tea
while I finish pinning her?

Levi, Levi, Levi.
I'm sorry.

Where were we?

Margaret takes her tea
with sugar.

Problem solved.
I'm on a break.

Levi!

Insubordination.
I'm taking it out
of his check.

(Chelsea grunts)

-(sighs)
-Hi, Margaret.
Hi. I'm Chelsea.

-Oh, hi.
-Hi.

I was just noticing, um,

you don't seem really happy
with this design.

Oh, no, I love it.
I'm just not sure
it's for me.

Oh. Yeah.

Um, do you think it has
something to do with
your, um...

lack of confidence?

How do you know
everything about me?

Wait, what are you,
a witch?

(cackling) No!

No, no.

-I'm a life coach.
-Oh.

How about I give you
a session, huh?

I can give you
the witch discount.
Or...

as I like to call it,
the witch-count.
(cackles)

♪♪

-(all giggling)
-Yeah. I sit next to Kyle
in history class.

-He smells like a rain forest.
-(sighs)

I sit next to Bernard.

He smells like pickles.

Probably 'cause his family
own a deli. O-kurr.

(laughs)
Well, Booker smells like he...

Uh, we-- we know what Booker
smells like.

Yo, yo, yo. Nia and Tess,
here are your favorite snacks.

Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
Uh, D-nice,

I thought maybe me and you
could, uh, go get some
D-nice cream.

Booker, we still need to go
to the thrift store.

Uh, yeah. All I have to do
is grab some clothes

from the school donation box,
and then we're out of here.

Hey, dude,
that is not lost and found.
Get out of here!

Do you really need to
go to the thrift store?

I mean, let Nia and Tess handle
the donation drop-offs.

I don't need to go, Booker.
I want to go.

We're having fun.
I like hanging out
with my girls.

Tsk. Your girls.
They wouldn't even
be your girls

if I hadn't asked them
to hang out with you.

Wait. What?

Well, I asked them
to hang out with you

so that me and you
could spend more time
together.

But Booker, we see
a lot of each other.

I'm hanging out
with Tess and Nia.

But what about us?

Hey, Danni.
You ready?

Yeah. Come on, let's go.

Booker, I'll catch up
with you later.

(sighs)

♪♪

I want you to look
into this mirror

and repeat this affirmation,
okay?

I love and approve of myself,

every day in every way.

I love and approve of myself,

every day in every way.

Chelsea?

A word?

Margaret has been here
two hours,

and she has not bought
one piece from me.

That's because you
life-jacked her

into doing some
mirror-mirror-on-the-wall
mumbo-jumbo.

What? Well,
you fashion-jacked
Sasha, earlier.

I need Margaret
and all my clients

until the dough
starts rolling in
for my Girl Power line.

You messin' with their heads
is messin' with my money.

It's amazing. Okay, I have
always loved Raven's designs.

And after my session
with Chelsea,

I finally have the confidence
to wear them every day!

In every way!

-I did that.
-What? That was all me.

-No, that was me.
-No, that was me.

-That was me.
-It was me.

-That was me.
-No, it was me.

-That was you.
-It was you.

Thank you.

♪♪

Ooh. Hey, guys. Look!

Kind of cute, don't you think?

On you? Or your grandma
who lives on the prairie?

No, but I can totally see it.

Maybe rock it
with a pair of combat boots?

So, her prairie grandmother
who's in the Marine Corps?

(chuckles) Okay, forget it.
I'm just gonna put it back.

-My grandma's taking
too many hits.
-(chuckles)

Danni, just so you know,
we really like you.

-Oh.
-Yeah. Look,

hanging out may
have been Booker's idea,

but this time,
it was a really good one.

Yeah. I'm, I'm over it.
I'm just glad we're here.

Oh! But this is lit.

You have to try that on.

Yeah, and then buy it,
so I can borrow it from you.

(all giggling)

(tumbling)

Psst.

Psst. Nia!

Booker, I heard you
the first time.

Well, why didn't you respond?

Because I was hoping
you'd go away

but you didn't
take the hint.

What's up?

Nia, I need a favor.

Another favor?
How much TV time are
you trying to lose, buddy?

Look, Nia, I need you
to stop hanging out
with Danni.

Booker, why would I do that?

If she starts liking you
more than me,

she's only going to
want to be friends with you.

And then our relationship
is doomed.

So you're gonna
have to tell her

you can't be friends
with her anymore.

You know what, Booker?
I got a lot of words for you.

But it looks like
Danni has more.

So I'm, I'm gonna let her
say 'em.

Wow.

So, uh...

You, you heard all that?

We all heard that.

Look, I really like you, Booker.

And I want to thank you.

Because of you,
I have some real friends.

And that includes you.

Yeah, but...

We're more than friends, though.
Right?

Actually, no, Booker.

I think we should
only be friends.

Well, that was my vision.

♪♪

Um, excuse me, Chels.
I reserved the conference room
until 6 p.m.

(scoffs) Well, then.

I guess I'll just bring this
to the executive suite.

May I have your attention,
please?

Mom, Auntie Rae,
if you'd both sit on the couch.

Oh, you mean
the executive suite?

Okay. All right.
Just sit down.

As the 4:15 assistant
to Aunt Rae,

and the 4:30 assistant to Mom,

I think I have insight
into what you both need.

Uh, Levi, could you hurry up,
please? All right. It's 4:17.

And time is money,
and you on my clock.

Eh!

Careful with those
office supplies.
Those easels aren't cheap.

Mom, your life coaching skills
helped Auntie Rae's client

-feel confident enough
to wear her clothes.
-Yeah.

And Auntie Rae,

your design talent
helped my mom's client

look great enough to feel great.

So here's my proposal.

Both your businesses
are about inspiring people
to be their best.

So why not combine them,

so that people can live
their best life?

Well.

Gosh.
If I'm doing my math right,

one plus one equals one.

Life coaching and styling.

-(gasps)
-Both: Life styling!

Chels, Chels.
Listen, a complete makeover

-inside and out. You know?
-Yeah.

Combining our companies
makes sense in every way!

A ha ha ha! Yes!

My job is done here.
I quit.

I expect prompt payment
for one stop-motion camera.

Thank you.

(knocking)

So, um...

-I guess the girls told you
about what happened with Danni?
-No.

No. No, no.

Yes. Yeah.

So, um, I guess you're
pretty happy right now.

No. No, I am not happy
that you're sad.

But I have to admit,
I was a little worried.

You guys were spending
too much time together.
It was too much, too soon.

I guess I'm still trying
to figure out the whole
boyfriend-girlfriend thing.

And you have a lot
of time for that.

You don't have to rush it.
You're only 13.

And on the bright side,

you know, you guys can
hang out as friends.

You're right.

And I guess that frees me up

to spend some time
with my number one girl.

What are you doing
this weekend, Momma?

(happy squealing)

Oh, I love you!
Well, I'm free.
But you grounded.

Woo! Wow.

Look! It's the arch-villain
Anchovious.

-(growling)
-I bet he wants to
cover us in pizza sauce.

And steal our candy.

If only we could get a hold
of our little brother.

Who is stronger,
and wiser, and--

Oh, come on, Levi.
Give me a break.

Levi:
Just read
what's on the page.

Fine. If only
we could get a hold
of our little brother

who is stronger and wiser
and could easily save
those weaker than himself.

Levi-osaurus has
his hands full.

But have no fear.

His sidekick,
insert-cool-name-here,
is here!

Really, Levi?

Levi: What?
I'm up for suggestions
on a cool name.

How about...
hi-ya!

-(growling)
-Tess: Cut!

♪♪