08x19 - Karen 2.0/InSpongeiac

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

- Spongebob

Squarepants!

- Another bag of chum...

Blech!

Now to shape this into his highness' dinner request.

Almost done!

- Here ya go! Eat up!

- What's this supposed to be?

- Chum seaweed, chum pot pie,

chum con coral, and chum tea. Also known as "dinner."

- Karen, your memory banks are gummed up again!

I did not request chum pot pie.

I requested chum stir fry!

- Well, I told you months ago that my memory is full,

but you've been too busy with your latest project.

So tell me, Plankton, how do you plan on failing

to steal the krabby Patty formula this time?

- Computer wife, Don't start with me!

This plan is foolproof, I tell you. Foolproof!

Not only will I soon grasp the formula,

but i'll be rid of your bad memory as well!

Karen, I want you to meet my new computer wife!

Karen two!

Karen two?

I've been... replaced?

- I'm afraid so. But can you blame me?

She's got triple the processing,

all the latest software, and a sleek space-age design--

the whole package!

- I can't believe this.

After all i've done for you,

you dump me for this cheap pile of plastic?

- Well, I had to cut costs somewhere.

- Who are you calling "cheap"? At least I Don't rust!

- You know, you're gonna wish you deleted that comment!

- Hey, come on, babe. Don't take it so hard!

You'll find love again.

Maybe you'll meet a nice, uh, adding machine!

- Oh, that does it!

- Oh, why did I program her with a jealousy scheduler?

And why did I outfit her with a molecular rearranger ray?

- Here's your stir fry, little man!

- Uhh, let's not do something we might regret!

- You should know...

Regret's the one thing you left

out of my operating system.

- Huh? What happened?

- I accessed the chum bucket's power grid,

remotely cutting off Karen's power at the source.

- Ha! Karen two, I knew you were special

the moment I laid eye on your motherboard!

Good-bye, Karen classic. Hello, Karen two!

- The end of another lucrative workday, Spongebob!

- Yes. The end.

Quitting time is almost too much to bear!

- Seriously, son, ya gotta lighten up.

Well, good night, kiddo!

- Good night, sir!

See ya tomorrow!

- Yes, sir! Sure as the sea's wet!

- Catch ya later!

So long!

Bye-bye! Toodle-ooh-ahhhh!

Wouldn't be the first time i've been saved

by a pile of trash.

- This isn't a pile of trash. It's a free computer system!

- Free? Now what kind of barnacle

would throw out a perfectly good computer?

- Judging from our location, i'd say Plankton.

- Heh. Always has been a knucklehead.

- Could this be one of Plankton's elaborate ruses?

- Perhaps. But who can pass up a free computer?

Let's plug her in and see what she can do!

She's loading up!

Now let's see how this dial-up thingy works here.

This thing does text mails, right?

- Yeah, I think so.

- Ooh! That sounds promising.

Aaaaah!

- Are computers supposed to emote?

No need to cry, little lady--

- Don't tell me not to cry!

Aaaaah!

- She's malfunctioning!

- Must be the dial-up thingy!

- You're right! Must be interfering with her circuitry!

- Oh, it's not the dial-up thingy.

It's Plankton! He dumped me for a newer piece of hardware!

- Help me out here, buddy!

- Oof! Hey, there!

Dry those computer tears.

I'm sure you two will get back together.

Plankton just needs some time to realize how much he needs you.

I mean, you guys were made for each other.

Well, you were made more for him.

And more specifically, by him.

And now he's built someone with more modern features

who's better in every way.

That's no-- what was my point again?

You men are all alike!

- Wait! Where are you going?

Smooth, Spongebob. Real smooth.

Let's talk this out!

- Careful, Mister Krabs. This could still be a ruse.

Karen's loyalty may still be with Plankton.

- Spongebob, what part of "free computer"

are you not understanding?

Tonight we celebrate.

And tomorrow the secret formula!

- I Don't ever want to see that lowlife again as long as I live!

Good-bye, you miserable little bug!

- Well, in that case...

Welcome aboard!

- All right! - Yee-ha!

- Yeah! Whoo-hoo - yay!

- Welcome to the krusty krab! May I take your order?

- My order? - I see Squidward

must not have gotten the last company textmail.

Karen will be taking over your duties

from now on, Mr. Squidward.

She's efficient, and, more importantly,

I Don't have to pay her.

- So i'm fired? No more taking orders?

No more interacting with customers?

No more Spongebob?

I'm free! I'm free! I'm free!

Whoo!

- Not so fast, Mr. Squidward.

- Hi, there. Can I get a krabby Patty

and a side of coral bits, please?

- You'll get your krabby Patty when i'm good and ready!

Sorry, i'm just going through a lot emotionally right now.

- Well, you know what always cheers me up

if i'm feeling down?

- You defragment your hard drive?

- No.

Putting in a hard day's work

at the greatest job in the world--the krusty krab!

- Hey! What's the hold up, Karen two?

That secret formula's not gonna steal itself, you know!

- I'm trying to open the door!

You didn't exactly design me with arms, you know.

- Yes, I suppose that's true. All right, I got this.

What's she doing here?

Karen? Working at the krusty krab?

What the--oof!

- Well, if it isn't little miss homewrecker.

- And if it isn't the washed-up analog has-been.

- Analog? Who you callin' analog?

- I see you've taken your proper role as a cash machine!

- At least I Don't look like I was designed

to be a glorified vacuum cleaner!

- Well, at least I can say I was designed.

Why, I oughta--

- you rusty bucket of bolts!

- You glorified toaster oven!

- You poor excuse for a housewife!

- Hey, what's going on?

- I Don't know, but my money's

on the one with the chrome backside.

- Excuse me, did you say "money"?

Welcome to the fight of the century,

where, for only $ . plus the purchase of two krabby patties,

you will glean the answer to the age-old question:

Which is superior--high-speed integrated circuits...

- Prepare to have your motherboard rattled!

- Or old-school vacuum tubes and diodes?

- You're about to have your cookies crumbled!

- Bring it!

- Wait, this isn't getting me any closer to the formula.

- That'll defrag your algorithms!

Plankton?

- Stop! He's hurt!

- You're throwing in the towel?

- You heartless homepage-wrecking hussy!

No one runs down my man!

Planky? Say something.

- Take me home, baby.

- Even though you're a tiny green loser,

I could never stay...

Mad...at...you.

Karen!

Don't you leave me, Karen!

Not again!

I hope this works...!

Oh, Karen, please wake up!

I promise never to take you for granted again!

- What happened?

- I had a reality check, that's what happened.

- Come on, let's go home to the chum bucket, honey.

- I had the strangest dream! I dreamt there were two of me!

- Two of you? Well, that is strange...

- Oh, great! There goes me revenue.

What am I gonna do now?

- Well, we could rebuild Karen two!

- Welcome to the krusty krab.

May I take your order? Beep, beep.

- Keep it up, Mr. Squidward. The kids love robots!

- Oh, what I wouldn't do to have my face in a toilet right now.

- Spongebob! Why Don't you mop your way over

to the kitchen? We need another krabby Patty.

- Sure thing!

What's that?

- Perfection.

- I Don't think so.

You used too much mustard!

- But, Mister Krabs--

- you obviously didn't use your hydraulic mustard Gauge!

Ya think mustard grows from seeds?

Oh, at this rate, i'll be broke in...

years! - Really?

- Your skills are rusty.

You're not your usual sharp self!

Did ya have breakfast this morning?

- Yes, I had a cup of sea kelp and a Neptune muffin.

- Hmm, well, what about sleep, young man?

Did you get enough sleep?

- I did go to bed two minutes later than usual.

- That's it! You're an insomniac!

- An insomni-what?

- You're a person that can't sleep!

If you can't get enough sleep, your mind starts to go!

- Here. Come on, boy.

Now cook! Ah! Aha! I knew it!

You lifted the Patty from one side, instead of straight up!

What are you tryin' to do? Sabotage me?

Now you go home and get some rest!

- Oh, but, sir, I can't miss work at the krusty krab!

- "Miss work"?

If you keep makin' mistakes like that, boyo,

there will be no krusty krab!

- No krusty krab?!

- That's right! Now get! - Yes, sir!

And come back first thing tomorrow.

After a good night's sleep.

- I just Don't get it, Gary.

I Don't usually have a problem sleeping.

Do I?

Well, I am not going to allow a mistake

like today's to happen again.

I am going straight to bed.

This pillow is hard as a rock!

Oh, what to do?

- You're right, Gary.

Warm milk puts me right to sleep!

Now that should do the trick.

Boy, it sure is quiet around here!

Only five hours left before I have to go to work.

Come on, Spongebob, you can do this.

hours, minutes, seconds!

hours, minutes, seconds!

hours, minutes, seconds!

What if I Don't get to sleep at all?

Oh, Mister Krabs was right.

I am an insomniac.

What am I gonna do?

I need some help!

Patrick?

Patrick! Wake up!

- Mmm...sponge cake.

Never mind that, Patrick.

I need your help desperately! I'm an insomniac!

I need to sleep!

- Say no more, buddy! I know just the thing.

Get comfy!

- Oh, boy, a bedtime story!

- Okay.

"Once upon a time, there was a sleepy little boy..."

- Yay!

- "The sleepy little boy

was the sleepiest boy in all the kingdom..."

Sounds like me.

- "One night, he nestled into bed

for a long slumber..." - Slumber...

- "...and sir Cecil, the sea sleep king,

sprinkled him with mystical sleepy dust."

- Oh, thank you, sir Cecil.

- "He couldn't have been cozier...

"When, without warning,

"an excitable sea troll burst through the window!

"'wakey! Wakey! Sleepy-doo!' he bellowed.

"Then suddenly he was whisked away

by eagle-winged mollusks into the night sky!"

- Patrick, what are you doing?

What kind of a bedtime story was that anyway?

- It's called the land of perpetual excitement.

You know, it's a "get out of bed" story.

- Patrick, i'm trying to go to sleep.

- Oh, right.

I know! I'll sing you a lullaby from my childhood!

- Patrick, this--

- it's a catchy little ditty, pat--

- an excellent number, but--

- Patrick? Patrick? Patrick!

- Patrick! This isn't helping either.

- Well, what am i--

I Don't know what you want from me.

It's not like I have a magic wand to wave.

Or do I?

- Oh, barnacles

- hocus, krocus!

- Patrick, get serious, please.

- Abra-zap-tabra!

- I really appreciate your efforts,

but I gotta try something else, buddy, 'kay?

- Spongebob, I see you're serious about this now.

I didn't want to have to do this,

but i'm gonna let you in on a little family secret.

Old grandma suffered from severe toe barnacles.

- And she invented this secret elixir

for just such an emergency.

Drink up.

- Okay.

Patrick, how is this going to hel--

- drink it!

- Hey, that wasn't too bad. What was it?

- Coffee.

- C-c-c-c-coffee?

For the last time, Patrick, I am trying to go to sleep!

- Oops. - Uh-oh.

Feeling jittery,

heart p-pounding,

teeth grinding...

No! No! Stop! We gotta go to sleep!

Well, I guess i'll just have to let my legs tire out

and catch up with my weary brain.

- Wakey! Wakey! Sleepy-doo!

- Aagh! A sea troll! Huh?

Just a shrub.

Keep going till you crash, Spongebob.

- Spongebob?

Why did you drink me?

- I'm sorry, Mr. Warm milk. You just tasted so good!

That billboard is definitely not talking to you.

- Why, Spongebob? Why?

- Stop wastin' all me mustard, boyo!

- Me profits! Me profits!

- Mister Krabs is gonna be upset!

- Sponge...cake.

What's this? Another vision?

Oh, why? Why?

Please, please, please, let me sleep for just five minutes!

- Do not despair, my child!

Sir Cecil, the sea sleep king?

- Just close your eyes and slumber...

With some magic dust.

- It's getting all sleepish around here...

Oh, thank you, sir Cecil!

Hey!

Looks like I finally got some shut-eye!

Now to prepare for work.

Perfect.

Bye, Gary.

- Boyo?

- Spongebob!

Yes,

Spongebob reporting for sleepy and tired.

Ew, your stinking like a swabbie's short pants

after a clam dig.

You sure you didn't forget something, boy?

- Forget...oh! Right. Right, Mister Krabs!

How could I be so forgetful...

That's my boy!

What the barnacles?

- Employees must wash their hands before cooking.

Oh, that's nice.

- That ain't the sink, kiddo!

I know, I know.

I just needed a quiet place to nap.

- Me mustard!

You didn't heed my words, did ya?

Ya couldn't be bothered to get some shut-eye, could ya?

- I'm sorry, Mister Krabs.

I tried! I really, really tried!

But my insomnia got the best of me!

- Now he's crying away me mustard!

That's enough, boy! Me profits!

- You're crying the perfect amount!

Hold it, boyo.

You're a natural-born mustard dispenser!

- Is that a good thing?

Oh, no, no, boy. It's--it's terrible!

- Just terrible!

- Best day at work ever.