08x11 - Mermaid Man Begins/Plankton's Good Eye

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you!

Aye aye, Captain!

- Ooh!

- So why are we goin' to Sandy's house?

- To see our vacation slides for the--

Oof!

- We got the slides, sir.

- Who? What? Why?

Whoa!

- Those two agents from the bureau of dry-land security

just confiscated all my vacation slides, boys.

Or so they think.

You see,

someone already made a secret copy.

Yes, Spongebob?

- Who is this "someone?" Do we know him?

- By "someone," I was implying me, Spongebob.

Yes, Patrick?

- Can you not imply anymore? It's confusing.

- Okay.

No more questions 'til the end of the slideshow, Kay?

Good. This first slide is of me,

gettin' some last-minute readings,

before I took off on my vacation.

And this is me

givin' the thumbs-up, goodbye-for-now salute.

And this--

this is where a little, square pal of mine

decided to pay me a visit.

- Sa-a-a-a-a-- -a-a-an-n-n-dy

pom!

Whoa.

- What do you think of my moon wagon?

- I'm sorry I activated it.

How was I to know it was hooked up to your doorbell?

- Oh, no, Spongebob.

That was what you call a co-een-ci-dance.

I'm gettin' ready for my vacation.

- Where are you going?

- The moooon.

- You're goin' on a moooon trip?

- Yup! I'm all packed and ready to go.

Wanna help me-- - I'll be right back.

- Load up the moon wagon?

- Morning, Mr. Baker man

oh. I'm sorry, I'll take a number.

It's usually...Perforated.

Argh!

Number .

Um, yes, I am number .

What can I get for you today?

- I need a bon voyage sheet cake, please.

- Can you put yummy words on it?

Um, let's see. What would those yummy words be?

I got it.

Have fun on the moon.

Let's see, what rhymes with moon?

Tune. Rune. Noon. Goon.

- How 'bout loon?

I got it! See you soon!

- T minus ,

, ...

, ...

- No-o-o, wait! - Seven.

- Sandy! - Six.

- You can't go without your sheet cake.

- Five, four. - Whoa!

Aah! - Three, two.

- Whoa. - One.

- Spongebob? What in cold chicken and pickles

are you doin' in my ship?

- I wanted to get ya-- so I went to the--

and I came, and the guy's all "t minus" something, and--

- launch commencing.

- Never mind! Can't stop the countdown now.

You better strap yourself down.

Looks like you're goin' on a moon-cation.

- I am? Whoo!

Hey, Sandy. Sandy. Sandy. Sandy. Sandy? Sandy? Hey, Sandy.

- I-i-I'm kind of busy here, Spongebob.

Gotta re-calculate to account for the extra weight.

- Oh. I just wanted to show you the--

- brace for the afterburners.

What were you saying, Spongebob?

- Oh, i--brought you a bon voyage sheet cake.

- You can't bring regular food into space.

- Wh-wh-wh-why not?

- Because, as we leave earth's gravity,

everything becomes weightless,

and any uncontained food

will float off in all directions.

Is that a problem?

- Only if it gets sucked into

the reverse spatial linearity drive

- aw, nuts!

- Oops. Sorry, Sandy.

- Well, it's a good thing I brought my...

Hwah!

Special spacesuit,

designed for just this kind of situation.

Now, try not to foul anything else up

while I'm out saving our necks.

Aha! There's the problem.

Could've used more nuts.

Okay, I got her up and running again

now, can you please sit with your hands folded

for a while, Spongebob?

- Roger that, folding hands.

- Now get ready for lunar module --

- what do you think, Sandy?

- Just don't touch anything while we separate.

Okay.

- That looks like a good spot.

All right, Spongebob, now that we've got our camp set up,

it's time for some moon crater boardin'.

- What's moon crater boarding?

- It's simple. You ride these...

On that...

Like this!

Yee-ha!

Right here's the flippity doo-dah.

Right there's the classic Texas tail-grab.

And this I call the nut job.

Munchy!

And let's not forget my grandpappy's favorite,

the tour de saturn,

star-gazer.

Yee-ha!

Nothin' like extreme sports in zero gravity.

All right.

Your turn.

- Oh. Gee, I don't know, Sandy,

i-i-it looks kind of scary.

- Ah, come on, Spongebob, you got this.

It's a can o' corn.

- Well, I don't know what corn is, but I sure like cans.

All right, I'll give it a try.

Sandy, th-this doesn't seem right.

Looks like Spongebob's too light in the lunar gravity.

Spongebob, grab ahold of this!

- Okay.

Got it! Yeah, well--

Aah!

Wah!

- Wow, Spongebob, what do you call that trick?

- Wa-a-ah!

- Interesting.

Maybe you can teach me how to do a "wa-a-ah!"

- Wa-a-ah!

Aah-a-ah!

Wa-a-ah!

Wha-a-aoh!

Wa-a-a-ah!

Hey, this is kind of fun.

- Carol, your real father is--

- wha-hey! Who's Carol's real father?

- Watch this, Sandy.

All right. Uh, no-look,

let's see, uh, one-footed,

tongue out, flip, leg out--

- Smash into the side of the rocket.

- You did great, Spongebob.

But you should call your trick the one-footed, tongue out,

flip, leg up, puncture the fuel t*nk on the rocket.

- Oops.

- Come on, Spongebob!

We gotta get

while there's still enough fuel to make it home!

Wait!

I have to do something very important.

There.

So, w-w-we are gonna make it, aren't we, Sandy?

- If the fuel holds out, there's no reason to panic.

- Without the engines, we've lost all control!

We're coming in too steep!

- Is that bad?

Only if you consider

being consumed in a giant fireball bad.

- Oh. Well in that case, I won't even--

giant fireball!

Aah!

Oof. Sandy, where are you going?

- I'm going to take this bull by the horns.

- Are we gonna be consumed in a giant fireball?

- Not if I can keep her nose up, we aren't.

Hang on!

It's gonna get bumpy when we hit the atmosphere.

- Aah!

- Yee...ha!

- Oooh...

My goodness.

Aah! - Yip! Yip! Yipee!

Yee-ha!

Yee-ha!

- Aah! A-a-a-ah!

- Woo-hoo!

Yee-e-e-ha-a-a-ah! - A-a-a-ah!

O-o-oh!

No!

O-o-oh. Where am--

oh, my gosh!

Sandy.

Sandy, are you okay?

- Oh, Sandy. I'm sorry I ruined your vacation to the moon.

- Uh, ruined? Aw, heck no!

You didn't ruin my vacation.

That was the most fun I've had in a toad's age.

Soon as I fix my rocket, you and me is headin' to Mars.

Now, let's go get us another one of those sheet cakes.

- Who's ready for some excitement?

We are!

- Who's ready for some fun?

We are!

- Who's ready to look at some vacation pictures?

We--uh. Huh?

- I'm sure you all know this charming feller.

Here's the one that almost got away.

Look at these proud towers of gold and green.

Here's where the whole thing started.

- That'll be $ . , please.

- Attention!

Attention all employees of the krusty krab.

Report immediately to the main office.

- Hey! What about my change?

- You called, Mister Krabs?

- That's right. You better have a seat, laddie.

Gentlemen, I have an announcement to make.

As of tomorrow,

I'm closin' the krusty krab.

- Hallelujah!

- Relax, boy. I'm just goin' on vacation for a few days.

Yessiree, laddie. I think the old krusty krab

can afford a few days in dry dock

while I take little Pearl on a long-overdue vacation.

And I was kinda hopin' that you'd come along with us,

Spongebob.

Come along with us, Spongebob.

Come along with us--

for a nominal fee, of course.

So, what do you think, boy?

Spongebob? Spongebob?

- Yes. Please.

- Great!

We'll have some fun.

Pearl, my dear?

Are you all packed and ready to go?

- You bet your bottom dollar.

- My bottom dollar?

Why, I'd never do that.

- It's just an expression, daddy.

I just mean I'm really, really excited!

- Daddy, one of your employees is in the back seat!

Hey, travel buddies.

- Daddy, I thought this was

supposed to be our family vacation.

- Uh, it still is.

Spongebob's like a son I never had.

Plus, he's payin' top-dollar to tag along.

- Hi, Pearl.

Looks like you and I get to spend

some quality time together.

- You know, Spongebob, we've got an old family tradition

of having our guests ride on the floor.

With the luggage, until we leave town.

- I will happily honor this family tradition.

- See. You two are already havin' fun together.

- And there they go. Two whole days with no work,

and no Spongebob.

It's almost too good to be true.

Nothing could possibly go wrong.

- Did you hear something?

- Just the sound of this vacation dying!

- Oh, cheer up, pumpkin-puss.

We're almost there.

- Um, is it time to come up, yet?

- Sure. Why not? Join the funeral.

Super mega mall world!

Is that where we're going?

- No-o. No, the place we're going is much better.

- Uh, Mister Krabs? Think we could make a bathroom stop?

- But we're makin' such great time!

Try to hold it a little longer, lad.

- Holy moley, we're going to planet roller-coaster!

Wha-- daddy!

Wh-why aren't we stopping?

The place we're goin' is a hundred times better

than that old amusement park.

- Is it bathroom land?

'Cause I could really use a bathroom right now.

Bathroom land.

Oh, Spongebob, you k*ll me.

- Yeah, he's a regular chuckle factory.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

- Okay, kids. We're just about there.

Just over that hill is the greatest sight in the sea.

Now close your eyes for a big surpri-ise.

- Teenage boy museum. Teenage boy museum!

- Bathroom. Bathroom!

- Okay, we're here. You can open your eyes now.

- Yay!

The teenage boy museum!

It was right there!

- Aw, it's okay, honey. We weren't goin' there, anyway.

That'swhere we're goin'.

- It's the bikini bottom mint.

Where they make all the money.

Have you ever seen anything more beautiful in all your life?

- There's no way I'm going in there.

I'd rather sift through the rubble

of the teenage boy museum.

- Well, laddie. Looks like it's just you and me.

And of course... the mint.

Isn't this the most exciting day of your life?

- Not really.

- Thank you all for coming to the bikini bottom mint.

My name is bill.

- Bill? Ha!

- And yes, I am aware of the hilarious irony

between my name and my job.

Now, I'll be your tour guide for today.

This tour will take you through the entire money-making process.

- Did you hear that, boy? The entire money-making process!

- Yeah, I...Sure...Did, sir.

- This just to your right is the first part

of the dollar-making process.

Where very special sheets of paper

are prepped for the--

ah-ooh-ah-ooh-ah.

- Uh, Mister Krabs, sir? Everyone is staring at us.

Sir, get ahold of yourself. It's just paper.

- Just paper?

That's like sayin' the ocean's just water.

Or--or, the krabby Patty's just a--

a sandwich!

- Oh. Uh. D--um.

- And in this area here to my left,

we see the process in which the sheets of silver

are pressed into...Shiny, blank coins.

Which are collected in batches of one million pieces

for the coining press.

W-w-w-one million shiny pieces of silver coins!

- They cook--

I thought this might happen.

- Thanks, Spongebob. - Any time, sir.

Ooh, the tour's leaving without us!

- The blanks then spill into this machine.

- We better catch up with them before we miss something.

Right, Mister Krabs?

Mister Krabs!

Hee hee hee hee hee.

I'm not sure how I feel about this sudden change.

Ha! Good one, Mister Krabs.

- Watch out, Mister Krabs!

- Hello. My name is Eugene. What's yours?

Do you believe in love at first si--yow!

- Hoo, that was close.

- I'll say. I almost had that quarter's phone number.

- Now, this machine here is where we destroy old money,

by means of shredding.

- Pretty neat, huh, boy?

That's where they--

destroy money!?

Noooo!

No-ho-ho-ho! Why?

Why-hy-hy-hy-hy?

- Oh, it's okay, sir. I'm sure that--

- aah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

An autographed--

no-o-o-o-ho-ho-ho!

- Mah-- money makes the world go 'round.

Money makes the world go 'round. Money makes the world--

- Mister Krabs, it's okay.

The shredded money is recycled.

And turned into brand new money, see?

It's a miracle!

- Yay!

That is it. I have had enough of your nonsense.

Guards! Show these two good-for-nothing dawdlers out.

Right now--oh. My.

- Angry, thieving criminals aren't part of this tour.

Take whatever you want.

- Take care of 'em.

- No problem, boss

- oh, no you don't, you filthy dollar rustler!

Ung.

That didn't work at all.

- Ta-a-a-ake

thi-i-i-i-s!

- Aah!

- That was easy.

- Yup, sure was.

- Good work, boy.

- You too, sir.

- Clearly, I misjudged you. You are both brave citizens.

And for that, on behalf of the mint,

I would like to present you both brand-new, extremely fine,

limited-edition, limited-run dollar bills,

with your faces on them.

Oo-o-o-h!

- Wow, it's-- - mine!

I haven't charged you yet for tagging along on me vacation.

- And I haven't charged you yet

for taking me on this terrible vacation.

Here's the two dollars I was short on those shoes.

I must've maxed out daddy's credit card.

Yay! Shoes!

- Shoes? - Oh, no.

- Wa-ah-hah-hah-hah!