08x07 - SquarePants Family Vacation

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob Squarepants! - Ready?

- Salutations, heroic devotees.

I hope you're securely seated

and sufficiently hydrated,

because, coming up next,

it's the mermaidman & barnacleboymarathon.

- We got to make sure we have the necessary supplies

for this marathon.

- Let's do this.

- Okay, how are we on snack?

I don't know.

We might be able to pull through...

The first hour.

- Check. Mermaidman & barnacleboyaction figures?

Check. Drapes?

- Check.

- Lampshade? - Check.

- Thermometer?

Check.

Ukulele, throw pillow,

screensaver, incense, snail cozy, headgear?

- Check.

- And...

- It's time. It's time.

It's time to fight...

- It's time, Patrick!

I hope we can make do with the few provisions we have.

- For -some-odd years,

mermaidman and barnacleboy have quadruple-handedly

kept the sea crime-free.

And in celebration of such longevity,

we're kicking off this weekend-long hero fest

with the never-before-aired mermaidman & barnacleboy

origin special.

And now without further fanfare...

The mermaidman & barnacleboy origin spe...

- No.

No!

Noooo!

This is terrible.

How will we see the origin specialnow?

- Squidward! Squidward! - Let us in!

- We're missing the mermaidmanmarathon!

- Go away!

I've got better things to do

than to watch grown men prance around

in ridiculous outfits.

What?

Circuit must have blown again.

- Hey, thanks for letting us in, Squidward.

- Yeah, we owe you one.

What now, Spongebob?

- I don't know, Patrick.

All the tvs in bikini bottom are knocked out.

We have to find a secure place,

some place that can survive this whirlwind.

Hey, that's it.

If we want to see

mermaidman and barnacleboy's origin,

we'll just go to the source.

Follow me, Patrick.

- Thanks for nothing, Squidward.

- So sorry to have put such a wrinkle in your plans.

- We made it.

Patrick, get up.

We have found the mermalair.

Again!

- Oh, boy.

Again!

- Do you mind telling us

what you're doing here?

- We want to watch your TV.

- I hate to break it to you, kids,

but you'll have to go somewhere else.

Our power got knocked out in the storm.

- But--but... now how will we ever learn

about their secret "gorinin"?

- Hang on a minute, Patrick.

We've got mermaidman and barnacleboy standing

right over here.

- Yeah, so?

- So if we want to hear their origin,

why don't we just ask them?

- Whoa!

You're like a brain professor.

- Mermaidman, barnacleboy,

we want to know how this all started.

- You want to go back to the start of it all, eh?

Well, you see, in the beginning, it was all dark.

And then all of a sudden an event called the big splash

formed the seas--

- not the beginning of time, mermaidbrain.

They want to know how we became a crime-fighting duo.

Right.

Well, it all started

when I was just a young, handsome, muscular lad.

When suddenly I noticed that my washing machine had stopped.

- What are you talking about? - Huh?

- You're supposed to be telling the story

of how we became superheroes.

- The story. Yes.

I was a young, handsome, muscular lad

soaking up the sun's rays on the beach

when suddenly I became drowsy.

A wave came ashore

and drew me back into the ocean.

Help!

Help!

Suddenly I realized

I was being sucked under by a violent whirlpool.

I was running out of oxygen fast.

But before I drowned,

I was rescued by mermaids.

They took me to the ocean floor

where they gave me a magic sea star

that allowed me to breathe underwater.

- Wake up, you old coot.

Finish the story.

- Yeah, mermaidman, what about barnacleboy?

- Yeah. How'd you two meet?

- Ooh. Sorry, boys.

There I was in the ocean,

the only human who could breathe underwater.

Alas, such a life got lonely real fast.

I had no other humans to talk to.

What was a man to do?

Then my question was answered.

- Hey, barnacleboy, make sure you scrape

the barnacles underneath too.

- Aye-aye.

- A boy in trouble.

I got to act fast, or he'll drown.

Fear not, young man.

I'll take care of this.

I used my new telekinetic powers to draw barnacles

into barnacleboy's body where they took the place

of his lungs so he could breathe underwater too.

- It was at that moment we decided to team up.

- Oh, so that's how you guys got together.

- No, no, no, the reason I teamed up

with this joker is because I was stuck

breathing underwater for the rest of my life.

Yeah.

- Anyway, from that day forward,

we became...

- Mermaidman and barnacleboy!

Superhero crime fighters!

A crime in progress.

- Stop! Thief!

- See if you think this is funny, evildoer.

- Who's laughing now, thieving scum?

- Thank you, sir.

And to whom do I owe

this debt of gratitude?

- You can thank me, mermaidman.

You're mine.

- How'd you like to taste my tentacle zapper,

man ray?

Hello.

- So what are you wearing?

In that case, can I get a large pepperoni pizza,

extra cheese?

Thanks.

That didn't happen.

- Oh, yes, it did.

- Oh, no, it didn't. - Ha ha, oh, lot you remember.

You don't even remember where you live.

- It didn't happen. - And now

without any further delays, the mermaidman & barnacleboy

origin episode.

- Oh, this is it!

- The story of mermaidman and barnacleboy

all started here.

- Come on, Ernie.

The movie's about to start.

Where's the popcorn?

- It's in the microwave, Tim.

- At that very moment in the apartment directly above,

a rogue scientist doing tests on radioactive ants

knocks over a jar of his infected specimens,

one of which, without any hesitation,

crawls down one floor and miraculously

lands undetected.

It viciously bites our soon-to-be superhero.

He screams in pain.

- Aaahhhh!

- Stumbling backwards...

- What on earth?

- In a split second, both men find themselves

in a freefall... both:

- That sends them squarely through the roof

of a vats of acid factory

and into a vat of acid

that is tipped over by an errant alien spaceship,

carrying the two blindly on a wave of acid

during a solar eclipse on a leap year,

precariously careening into a b*mb-testing site

where a cataclysmic expl*si*n exposes our heroes in waiting

to highly toxic radium gases.

Then, as fate would have it,

magical storm clouds move in, zapping both men

with a neon plaid lightning bolt

and raining radioactive ooze,

which, through centrifugal force and electromagnetic turbulence,

causes a powerful earthquake deep in the jungle

, miles away, consequently unearthing

a magical crystal with wings

that flies to Ernie and Tim's exact location

and, powered by super gamma energy currents,

pilots them to open skies until, not paying attention,

the crystal clips the top of a billboard,

flinging the two back to their apartment miraculously unharmed,

when...

- Hey, the popcorn's ready.

- They proceed with movie night

and eat slightly overcooked popcorn.

- Mm. I think you overcooked this a little.

- Suddenly an amazing reaction to the overcooked popcorn

hits them with a jolt of cosmic super energy,

metamorphosizing Ernie into an incredibly strong,

sea star-wearing superhero

and Tim into a slightly less strong, but also super

sailor-looking guy.

- I have the sudden and incredible urge

to breathe water instead of air.

- As do I.

- And that is how they became the superheroes we have come

to know as...

Mermaidman and barnacleboy,

defenders of the deep.

- Oh, feels just like yesterday, doesn't it, mermaidman?

- No. Not really.

So what do you boys think?

Boys?

- Okay, Patrick, the overcooked popcorn will be ready

in minutes.

- This is gonna be so super awesome.

- So superhero awesome.

No! Stop!

- But you're not superhero material.

- Look at those shoes...

- The krusty krab is stowed and ready to slumber.

- Good job, laddie.

Another fruitful day pushing patties.

- Pushing what?

- You know, turning patties into lettuce.

- Um, I'm not following you.

- Cabbage. Greenbacks.

Money!

- Oh, you mean your obsession.

- Obsession is kind of a strong word.

Sleep tight, my little angels.

- left,

right,

and finally left.

Open says me!

Hey, what gives?

I was looking right at the combination.

Why isn't it opening?

Aagh!

- What's going on in here?

Everything seems to be in order.

The safe is still safe.

I must be hearing things.

Hey, how'd that pickle get on the floor?

Now what was that rule about dropped food?

Was it five seconds or five minutes or...

Ah, well, waste not, want not.

- Plankton, where have you been?

- Trust me, you do not want to know.

- Did you get the krabby Patty formula?

Like I have to ask.

- No, and I probably never will.

- You need a more positive outlook.

- Oh, Karen.

If you could just see things the way I do.

- Plankton!

- What? - I think you hit it.

You couldn't see the correct combination

because you have only one eye.

You lack depth perception.

- Maybe you're right.

That would explain why I stink at darts.

- What you need is a second eye.

- Karen, my dear,

I think you're onto something.

Looks like it's time for an upgrade!

Success!

That ain't good.

No, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no!

I can see every-- aahh!

Binocular vision, here I come.

What?

Oh, mama.

Stop. I command you.

Oh, come on, please stop.

Next.

Karen, what am I doing wrong?

- Your experiments are missing one essential ingredient.

- It's not love, is it?

Because you know I hate that stuff.

- No, it's cells from another eye.

Even a single teardrop would contain enough DNA.

- Tears, huh?

I guess if I have to.

Will these do?

- No, silly.

They have to be from someone who already has two eyes.

Two eyes, huh?

I think I know a crybaby who fits that description.

- Hi, Plankton.

- Hey, Spongebob.

Want to hear a sad story?

- No. Not particularly.

- Once upon a time, there was a yellow doofus

who loved to drink milk with his lunch.

Unfortunately for said doofus,

his milk was tragically spilt.

The end.

- S-s-sad story.

And so timely.

- Get a grip.

- I suppose he's right.

Good thing I always bring backup milk.

- Are you sure you want to go through with this?

- Yes. Let's hurry up and get it over with.

Mommy!

Here come the pain!

That wasn't so bad.

Here we go.

Eureka! - So does it work?

- You tell me.

Bull's-eye!

Now for my next target--

the krabby Patty secret formula.

What?

Why does everything look so Weir...

Look so beautiful?

- Hi, Spongebob. Great to see you, buddy.

- Hi, Plankton. What you doing?

- I thought I was gonna steal something,

can't imagine why,

so I'm just enjoying this lovely day.

- Okay. Buh-bye.

Honey, I'm home.

- Oh, you're a happy camper.

Did you finally steal the formula?

- Formula? What formula?

I forgot the formula.

I can't imagine what got into me.

- It's that new eye of yours.

Your evil DNA has become corrupted

by Spongebob's nice DNA.

You've gone from evil to neevil!

You're becoming as harmless as that fry cook.

- Nonsense.

You're imagining things.

- Really? Let's test it, shall we?

Tell me what you see

in these ink blots.

Looks like...

A pretty butterfly. - Nope. Try again.

What does this remind you of?

- Aw, it's a little puppy doggy.

Try this.

- Um... - I'll give you a hint.

- A bouquet of flowers?

Would you like some flowers, honey?

- Cells from that sponge

have changed your whole point of view.

- A few blobs of ink doesn't prove a thing.

I'm as evil as ever.

I'll prove it right now by stealing

the krabby Patty secret formula.

- Fire!

It's burning!

- Such lovely destruction.

- Help! Save me!

Save me!

- I'll help you.

Do not worry, citizen.

I'll catch you.

Coming down.

- Oh, no.

- Thanks, buddy.

- Unbelievable!

I've committed another selfless act.

This eye is taking over.

But I must stay strong

and concentrate on swiping the krabby Patty formula.

What's this?

It's the krabby Patty formula.

Huh! Wha-- krabs must have lost it!

- And that's why your promotion

means a % cut in salary.

Understand, Spongebob?

- Yes, sir, Mister Krabs.

- Hey, Eugene.

You missing anything?

Me krabby Patty formuler!

- That's right, krabs.

Unbelievably, I found it lying on the ground!

So I'm giving it back to you. Take it.

- Hey, something smells, and it isn't me long Johns.

Let's see here. You had the formuler.

Why didn't you run off with it?

- Why didn't I run off with it?

Why didn't I run off with it?

Because that would be stealing.

- Since when do you care about stealing?

- Oh, it's this cursed new eye!

I've got to get rid of it.

Must become monocular again.

I did it.

You know, I don't think I trust

this nice, polite, pleasant Plankton.

- Mister Krabs, I think Plankton has really changed.

He just needs some encouragement.

And I know just how to do it.

My life of evil is over.

Hey. Why is it so dark in here?

Surprise!

- Aagh! The chum bucket's been invaded.

I'll never surrender. Never!

- Aw, this isn't an invasion.

We're here to show you how much we appreciate

all the good deeds you've done lately.

We came to give you a great big hug.

- What? No. Not hugs.

Not hugs.

Yay!

- It's gone.

That disgustingly good eye is finally gone.

I'm cured!

Thank you. Thank you all!

Especially you, Spongebob.

- Hey. Glad I could help.

- Yes, thanks to you, I'm evil again.

And as a token of my appreciation,

I'll give you all a rousing sendoff

with my infrared security attack lasers!

Oh, well, depth perception's overrated anyway.