08x23 - It's a SpongeBob Christmas!

Episode transcripts for the TV show "SpongeBob SquarePants". Aired: May 1, 1999 - present.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise

A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.
Post Reply

08x23 - It's a SpongeBob Christmas!

Post by bunniefuu »

Ready for Christmas, kids ?
Aye Aye Captain.

I can't heeeaaar yooouuu!.
Aye Aye Captain.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Sponge Bob Square Pants!

Absorbent and yellow and porous is he.
Sponge Bob Square Pants!

If nautical nonsense be somethin' ya wish.
Sponge Bob Square Pants!

Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish.
Sponge Bob Square Pants!

Sponge Bob Square Pants!

La la la la la la.

Christmas.


It's a Sponge Bob Christmas.



Bikini Bottom.

Oh, its drawing very near.

My favorite time of year.

The snow is falling and the cold wind blows.

Christmas is almost, here.

And i heard that Santa Santa Santa,
Has his jolly little eyes on me.

It keeps me warm and filled with glee.
Santa has his eyes on me.

I like my house like a Christmas Tree.

Cause Santa Santa Santa,
Has his jolly little eyes on me.

Hi Squid Bird what are you doing to day?

Stringing lights so Santa knows,
in no uncertain terms ....

to .... GO AWAY

...okay.

Santa Santa Santa,
Has his jolly little eyes on me.

He sees everything i do,
: : , --] : : ,
With his left eye on me,
And his right eye on you.

Ooh , whats that?

...its a trap.

A trap for Santa.

Pave it with Christmas treats.
: : , --] : : ,
I will trap Santa in my box,
locked up like Fort Knox.
: : , --] : : ,
And make him stop the clocks.

And wil have Christmas all year long.

Hey, a cookie.

Oh, Santa Santa Santa,
Has his jolly little eyes on me.

And who is that i see?
Underneat that Christmas tree.
: : , --] : : ,
Oh Christma, Oh Christmas,
Its a sweet mistery.

a gonna dance a Christmas cheer.

Whit a candy cane.

Deconstructif alchemy.

Merry Christmas, Sandy.
Merry Christmas, Sponge Bob.

Santa Santa Santa,
Has his jolly little eyes on me.

Hi, mister Crabs.
Are you ready for Christmas?

What,
Christmas is my favorite time of the year.

After all, it is the season of getting.

Dont you mean the season of giving?
: : , --] : : ,
exactly,
The more you gave the more i get.

Oh, Santa Santa Santa,
Has his eye on me.

He sees everything i have done.

every plot plan and sceme.
: : , --] : : ,
its just a bit of fun,
Santa has a eye on me.

Every naughty deed,
is written in his scroll.

So every Christmas morning.

I get a stocking full of coal.

Maybe you would get a real present from Santa,

if you weren't the biggest jerk in Bikini Bottom.

I am way ahead of you, gary.

There is one element in the known universe,
That can turn the nicest sap,
into the biggest jerk they can be.

And I, Plankton, have discoverd it.

...behold.
: : , --] : : ,
Jerktonium.
: : , --] : : ,
I give everyone in Bikini Bottom,
a present of the most innocent of all holiday goodies.

The fuitcake.

And each and every slice,
will be laced with Jerktonium.

Ones ingested, no one can help becoming
the biggest creepiest meanest jerk ever.

And Santa will realise,
that Sheldon j Plankton isnt so bad after all.

And then i finaly get,
what i realy want for Christmas.

The Crabby patty secret formula.

And now, for the main ingredient.

Jerktonium.

Okay, Jerktonium.

Do your stuf.

It is complete.

The Jerkmaker will make
doling out tainted fruitcake a breeze.

Now who is gonna be my first victim?

Hi plankton, what do got there.
: : , --] : : ,
Is that a fruitcake dispencer?

You dont supose i could have a piece,
do you?

Surething fruitcake, here you go.

Hot from the oven, and full of lovin

Oh , hot hot hot.

Whow , thats great.

So, how do you feel?

Kind of cranky?
No.

Sort a surly?
No.

Maybe just a littlebit, jerky?
No.

I feel just like this cake tastes,
Lovely delicious.

He must have gotten a piece whitout,
Jerktonium.
: : , --] : : ,
Here try some more,
dont mind if i do?

How is your dender, is it up?
No.

How can i possibly be angry,
When my tastebuds are swimming in Christmas cheer.
: : , --] : : ,
Oh boy, here comes some more.

Have some more.

Have a whole load.

Have a big discounting.

Well ??
...well.
: : , --] : : ,
I think everyone should taste your amazing fruitcake.

You know wat,
Knock yourself out.

Stupid hunk of Junktonium,
my gift to Bikini Bottom.

Boy, oh boy.

Hello fellow ramblers.
Would you like a Christmas treat?

Well sure , Sponge Bob.
Yeah, who dusnt like treats.

Nothing loosens up the old pipe like fruitcake,

Dig in.

Its like a present for my mouth,
I knew you like it.

He ,do we came here to sing,
or eat fancy cake?

Wow, calm down Bill.
What do you wanna sing?

Well, I wanna sing the only song who matters,
and that is Jingle Bells.

From the top.
And a one and a two and ...

No! hold your holly! We will sing,
the best song ever, and that is silver bells.

Wrong bells, buddy.

Hé, i wanna sing,
Randolpf the red nosed seehorse.

Great to see people so passionate
about the holidays.

Whats all the racket?

What do you know?
Jerktonium seem to work on these jerks.

very interesting.

Oh boy,
a Christmas parade.

A perfect ocassion to spread
some mouth watering joy.

Oh everyone try some hot fruitcake today.

Eat it all up and you will shout, hooray.

Everyone can get behind,
a mouth full what unshinend.

Every need a Christmas time cliche.

Everyone can get behind,
a mouth full of Christmas time.

Let all eat some hot fruitcake today.

Its just keeps, futher and futher.

So little boy,
what would you like for Christmas?
: : , --] : : ,
I want a sled and a truck,
and a bike and a train.

Hi, Santa.
Have some fruitcake.

and a waterpistol,
and a helicopter and .....

Wel, why dont you get a job,
and buy all that junk yourself.

And while you're at it,
why dont you try brushing your theet.

Have some fruitcake,
thanks.
: : , --] : : ,
Thats it , i am out of here.

Ooh yeah , and i want a trampoline.

Succes,
soon all the Bikine Bottomites will be Jerks.

Now i just need to figure out,
...what to do about ole Sponge Boy.

Ones again your masterplan is fatally flawed.

It seems that SpongeBobs innocent love of the holiday,
shields his heart from the effect of the Jerktonium.

Ooh, that tickle.

Dreds.

Thats squarehead is going to throw,
my whole naughty to nice curve right off.

I gess its time to introduce, plan B.
: : , --] : : ,
Plan B, meet Gary.

Now go, my automated agent of naugthyness,
Go and destroy SpongeBobs good name.

Oh, yeah.

I am ready,
: : , --] : : ,
I am ready,
: : , --] : : ,
I am ready,

Ready ... to destroy Christmas.

Whats going on out here?

Oh its just you , Sponge Bob.

Oh Sponge Bob,
You've been a bad bad toy.

Oh, merry Christmas fellows.

Oh go stuff a stocking.

Gee, that wasn't very nice.
: : , --] : : ,
Season greetings mister Crabs.

Well you got some nerve, Sponge Bob.
This is coming out of your salary.

Whats that all about?

Hi Patrick, whats up dude.

I think its pretty obvious, Sponge Bob.

I eat fruitcake and setting
a tiger trap for Santa.

Now if you dont mind,
i am bussy right now.


Gee, ok , no need to jerk about it
Everybody is on edge today.

Must be the holiday jitters,
Nosy Bob.

He, it works.

Hello big stripe shrimp.


Christmas eve, and all Bikini Bottom
is filled with good will.

Merry Christmas, Frankie.

Merry Christmas to you to, Johnny.


Gosh , if the people start acting nicer.

Santa gonna fligh right past Bikini Bottom,
this Christmas eve.

I gonna need some help.

Squid Bird,
I am not home.

Gosh , wat i will do now.
Why dont you go bother Sandy?
: : , --] : : ,
Sandy is the word.
I have to thank you when you get home.

I said, i am not home.

Sponge Bob, give me back my door.

Sandy, Sandy i need your help.

Its Christmas eve and everyone
in Bikini Bottom are acting like Jerks.

You got to help me find out why?

Why shell i help all them Jerks?
Because those jerks care about Christmas anymore, Sandy.

Its a problem.

Problem? My only problem is that i am out of fruitcake
the only thing i heve left to is boring old nuts.

The problem isnt the fruitcake.

The problem is that everyone including you
is acting like a jerk.

I'll have to solve this by my own.

Damnnabit, SpongeBob you put fruitcake in my
Christmas analyzer.

Well be horn swable.

My analyzer found someting in the fruitcake.

Oh, this is terrible.
What is it, Sandy?

The fruitcake is contaminated with, Jerktonium.

No wonder i have been as ornery as a sidewinder
on a hot driveway.

Jerktonium is the orneryest element of them all
and your fruitcake is full of it.

Where did you get the fruicake anyway?
From Plankton he baked it.

You took food from Plankton,
And fed it to everyone in town?
: : , --] : : ,
Your an idiot.

No wonder everyone in town is an big old meany.

I have eaten tons of fruitcake,
I must be the biggest jerk in town.

You dont act jerky,
for some reason it not affecting you.

It must be a combination,
of your tiny brain and pure heart.
: : , --] : : ,
You are imuun to jerktonium Spongebob,
But the rest of us will need a antidote.

I will set the analyzer to calculate the formula.

Why , this formula of the antidote
dont make no sense at all.

Thats no formula.
Thats a song.

Sandy, the song is the antidote.

Oh yeah? your fins are ....
: : , --] : : ,
Ahoy, everybody.

Bring joy to the world,
its a thing to do.

But the world does not revolve around you.

...dont be a jerk.

Its Christmas.

Be nice to babys and animals and old folks too,
Because thats how you want them to treat you.

Use turn signals.

Dont screen my calls.

Dont you wreck the house when you deck the halls.

Spit your gum where it wont wind up on my shoe.

Squeeze toothpaste from the bottom of the tube.
: : , --] : : ,
...dont be a jerk.

Its Christmas.

Its Christmas.

When others are talking never interupt.

Tell the people down ore leave the toilet seat up.


Its the time for family and holly and turkey.
: : , --] : : ,
Its the season to be jolly not jerky.


Santa braught nearly every gift,
on your list

Why whine about the one you missed.

Dont be a jerk.

Its Christmas.

Its Christmas.

Dont be a jerk.

Its Christmas.

Concratulations Sponge Bob,
Your song works.

And not a moment to soon.
Santa should be here any minute.

Oh Boy , Santa you made it,
coole your jets there son.

I am afraid i am the bearer of bad tidings.

Oh no,
Oh yes.

It seems your all on my naughty list this year.

Naughty list? No doubt about it ,
you have all been a bunch of jerks.

But,
But nothing.

All for everyone, accept Plankton

What?

I am just as surprised as you.

He's bin a saint.

You go, Sheldon
I believe this is what you asked for.

The secret formula,
How did you get that?

I have my ways.

Umh, dad.

Get out of my pocket you foul goblin.

But Santa , you have got it all wrong.

On the contrary, Spongebob.

You were the worst of all.

I am ready to destroy,

Christmas.

Destroy Santa.

...you want Santa

You gotta get through me

Oki Doki.

Oh my.

Is that all you got?

I am out of here.

You do realise that this counts as naughty.
: : , --] : : ,
You put down that jolly old ....

Hot from the oven.
All up live.

Hurry up Santa.
Hop on.
: : , --] : : ,
Thanks again for saving my kiester.

...oh that was nothing.
you are clearly a very good lad.

Unlike the owner of that wind up monstrosity.

What do you got there?

If found please return to the Chum Bucket.

Plankton.
: : , --] : : ,
Hand it over, Sheldon.
Dont make it any worse.

Okay boys,
lets give Plankton what he deserve.

So long, kiddys.


Has anyone seen Patrick?

Got you.
Post Reply