06x21 - Sand Castles in the Sand/Shell Shocked

[bunniefuu]

-Are you ready, kids?

-[kids] Aye, aye, Captain.

-I can't hear you.

-Aye, aye, Captain!

Oh...

♪ Who lives in a pineapple

Under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow

And porous is he ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense

Be something you wish ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck

And flop like a fish ♪

-♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

-Ready?

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants

SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

[captain laughs]

[piccolo playing]

[ocean waves crashing,

seagulls calling]

Get up, Patrick! It's time!

[groans] Time for what?

The big shindig, remember?

No. Besides,

I don't really think

my shins should be involved.

They're a bit flabby today.

That's shindig, buddy.

We're spending

a day at the beach

in honor of our best friendship.

The beach?!

Just you and me?!

So, am I ready for the beach,

SpongeBob?

Uh, sure.

A little sunscreen,

and I'm sure you'll be fine.

I'm spending the whole day

at the beach

with my best friend.

[groans, grunts]

You're hurting me.

Guess what?

[sighs] What?

I'm going to the beach

with my best friend!

-[sing-songy] Oh, bus driver?

-What?!

OK, out of everyone on this bus,

guess which one

is my best friend?

I don't care.

You know what this situation

calls for, Patrick?

A few verses of

the "Best Friend" tune.

♪ Best friend... ♪

Ow.

Hey, wait! This is not our stop!

Oh, how are we gonna get to

the beach now, Patrick?

We don't even know where we are.

I knew it. We've been abandoned!

No! No, no, Patrick!

No one's ever gonna

find us out here!

[both wailing]

A little help, brah?

Look, Patrick, we made it!

Hey, best friend...

check this out.

It's a small plastic disc

that you throw.

Small plastic disc

that you throw?!

I love playing small plastic

disc that you throw!

I do, too, buddy.

If only small plastic disc

that you throw

had a shorter, catchier name.

Oh... Oh! How about "small

plastic disc that you toss"?

Perfect!

Now run along, Patrick,

and I'll toss it to ya.

Ready?

[laughs]

[chuckles] That's why

they call it a sandwich.

[gags]

[ding]

I got it! Whew!

Wasn't that cool, SpongeBob?

I can assure you

that was not cool.

Look at what you've done.

Your buffoonery has destroyed

the lifeguard tower.

Why don't you find something

to do that's less obnoxious?

-Like what?

-I don't know.

Go play in the sand

or something.

Oh, I don't know.

Playing with the sand

sounds pretty boring.

Nonsense, Patrick.

There are plenty of fun things

to do in the sand.

We can draw or practice

our cursive writing or...

Boring, SpongeBob, boring.

I know.

We can make sandcastles!

That sounds un-boring.

No one's ever been annoyed

by a sandcastle. [laughs]

Nothing quite like the joy

of sandcastling, eh, buddy?

How you doing over there?

Everything's dandy

in Patrick's kingdom.

Oh, a structure like that

can't protect a king

and his subjects.

Here, let me help you.

First, you should

start all over.

Oh, what are you doing?!

You destroyed my castle!

I'm just trying to help, buddy.

Well, I don't need any help.

Here are those architectural

plans you requested.

Why, thank you.

Here's a little something

for you.

I suppose I should just tend

to the affairs of my own realm.

And I'll start my making

a queen to rule by your side.

Now we're even.

Alright, Patrick,

have it your way.

You keep to your territory,

and I'll keep to mine.

[grumbling]

This will show SpongeBob

he's not the only one

who can build a castle.

Let's see SpongeBob

destroy this castle!

I'd better build a wall

just in case King Pinky

gets any funny ideas.

Oh, sir,

you built onto my side.

So?

So you don't do that!

There.

That restores the integrity

of our shared border.

You tyrant! You did it again!

I'll show you what for.

Wh-Wh-What for what?

[yells, grunts]

Now we're even. Again.

OK, Patrick, I can accept that.

No more destruction

from this point forward, OK?

OK, back to square one again.

[saw buzzing]

Aha!

[plays note]

I hereby propose

a non-aggression treaty

to end hostilities

between our two kingdoms.

Patrick, by signing

this historic armistice,

you have brought peace

to our lands.

May your kingdom prosper.

That went well.

What are you doing?!

What about the treaty?!

This treaty ain't worth

the sand it's printed on.

Oh, is that so?

Well, if you think you can

take down this castle,

my answer is, bring it on!

[laughs]

-[coughs nervously]

-[horse neighs]

Patrick, I'm trying to be

the nice guy here, OK?

Let's call

this silly business off.

No way! You started it.

Fine, have it your way!

[laughs] Whatever. [gasps]

Oh, no. No, no, no!

[gasps]

[descending whistle]

[laughs]

[blows loud notes]

[soldiers yelling]

Oh!

[shivering]

Oh, hello...

and good-bye.

[soldiers scream]

-Aha!

-[screaming]

Come on!

How you like them apples?

[smashing, soldiers yelling]

[Patrick laughs]

You'll never win!

Do you hear me?!

[airlock hisses open]

Uh-huh, mm-hmm.

Well put, General.

We'll create a surprise

military diversion

and break through enemy lines.

What say you?

Yes, we shall ready ourselves

immediately.

How you like me now?

I like you this much.

[stomping]

[SpongeBob screams]

Feel me!

[quavering]

Patrick.

Patrick, are you OK?!

[weakly] Question is...

Will you be?!

[screams]

[laughs]

No fair!

All's fair in love and w*r,

my friend/enemy.

Or should I say my friendenemy?

[beep]

-[electronic device trills]

-Let's have some real fun.

[yells]

What was that?

Come on.

We gotta get out of here.

Grab the children!

[all screaming]

[gasps]

Oh, yeah?

Two can play at this game.

[rumbling]

Jumping jellyfish! Wow!

[laughs]

I wasn't gonna do this,

but you've left me no choice.

[gasps]

[with British accent]

Oh! Let's beat it, dude.

[laughs]

Huh?

[groans]

[groans] What happened?

I'll tell you what happened,

Patrick.

I got carried away.

Me, too. Was it worth it?

No. No, it wasn't.

What started out as a fun dream

turned into a horrible,

brutal nightmare.

As the winds of time change

the silvery sands of these dunes

to a new landscape,

so let us hope that

our own winds of change

will change our spiritual dunes

to a landscape of peace.

Oh, buddy,

let's never forget this lesson.

And let's also not forget

who's gonna clean this place up.

[SpongeBob and Patrick

groan in disgust]

Better get started.

You've got a lot of work to do.

Bet I can clean up

faster than you.

Oh, yeah? Bet you can't.

-Yes, I can.

-No, I can.

-Oh, I can!

-I can!

-Oh, look at this!

-Hey! Hey!

[teeth chattering]

-[loud banging]

-[gasps, pants]

[silence]

-Whew!

-[loud smashing noise]

[glass shattering]

[teeth chattering]

-[dialing]

-Hello? Hello!

Huh? The line's been cut.

Barnacles!

[loud smashing noise

continues outside]

Guess I'd better take a look.

-Who's there?!

-[glass clattering]

-Stay back! I'm armed.

-[glass shattering]

Whoa! Whoa!

[grunts and groans]

-[glass shattering]

-[grunts]

[chattering]

Ah! Wind-up novelty teeth.

How did you wind up down here?

[laughs] Oh?

What the heck is going on

with my fancy boot?

Hey, knock it off!

Alright, I warned you!

[yells]

You're a dirty fighter.

Yeah, I got ya now.

Hi-yah!

[Gary meows]

Gary? No!

[pail rattling]

Gary!

[gasps]

[muffled meowing]

[coughs]

Whew! Thank goodness.

For a minute there,

I thought you were hurt.

-[cracking]

-[yowls]

[shattering]

[squishing]

Gary, I-I've broken your shell.

[yowls]

[heart thumps]

[teeth chatter, wails]

Oh, no, you're in pain!

Don't worry.

I'll make it better.

[wails]

Sorry. Not better.

Oh, I know. Here.

Just use a little tape

and there you go.

Good as new.

Um... Well, that's alright,

because we'll find

a new shell for ya.

-How about this?

-[Gary meows]

Yeah, you're right. Too gaudy.

No, too last season.

I need that.

Ah-ha-ha-ha! Look, Gary.

Here, try this on for size.

[groans]

Of course it's a shell.

Oh, come on.

Don't look at me like that.

[slurping sound]

[meows]

OK, you're right,

it's not a shell. Hmm. Oh!

[robotic voice]

Greetings, Earthling.

I am SpongeBob.

I come from the future.

[robotic laugh]

I bet this'll look great.

Ew. I can see why

snail shells aren't clear.

Hmm.

-[groans]

-Here it is, Gary.

Your new shell!

Oh, you look ready to ride.

"Shell Spiffy."

Great idea, Gar.

I'll order you a new shell.

Are there any you have

your eye on, old buddy?

-[meows]

-Oh, page .

Here it is. Wow!

"This stylish, fully insulated,

dual-coat, ceramic shell

comes equipped with a*t*matic

restroom facilities standard.

And for the affordable price

of just $ , . ?!"

Isn't there a place where

I can get a quality shell

without spending a fortune?

[meows]

"Commercial?" What commercial?

Uh-oh, now look

what you've done.

You've broke

your snail's shell again.

Yeah. Now what do I do?

You come on down to

Angry Jack's Shell Emporium!

I'm so angry about

my massive inventory

that I'm slashing prices

like crazy!

$ . buys

this refurbished shell,

and I'm angry about it!

Or what about this one?

Brand-new plastic shell,

super-gloss coat, only $ . !

Hey, get those numbers

out of my face!

Did I mention I'm angry?

The wife's gone for good,

so I'm gonna sell, sell, sell

all these shells,

shells, shells!

So come on down

to Angry Jack's now!

And remember, I'll match or beat

anyone's advertised rage,

or your shell is absolutely...

Hey, what are you doing

in my commercial?

Oh, sorry, Angry Jack.

Gary here needs a new shell,

and we knew

you'd help us find one.

Hey, shouldn't you be

yelling at me right now?

Nah. I just do that to make

my commercials louder.

And louder is

the same as better!

Now let's see if I can't

get you into a new shell.

Hmm... there she is.

There you are, little guy.

[meows]

Oh, it's perfect!

Just like the old one,

eh, buddy?

Now it really looks

like the old one, eh, buddy?

[meows]

Hey, accidents will happen.

Why don't we try this one on?

Ooh, that's nice!

Love the pattern.

We'll take it.

But first, I gotta make sure

it's battened down.

We don't want this one

slipping off, eh, buddy?

Oops. Hey, what about that one?

Sorry, Jack.

Hey, how much is that one?

Why don't you just

hold your snail?

I'll take care of the shells.

-Good idea, Angry.

-So, how do you like this one?

Well, it certainly is shiny.

It's our most reflective model.

Oh, that is bright.

Can't... see.

Oh! What was that?

Excuse me.

[shells shattering]

Why... can't... I... stop...

breaking... shells?! [screams]

[shells shattering]

Whoops.

Say, Jack, I don't suppose

you have any more to show me?

I do have one more available.

It's the only certified

indestructible shell

I've ever seen,

but I'm sure you'll find a way.

Wait, wait, wait!

Before we do the hand-off,

let me take a few

precautionary measures.

OK, first, shoes are tied,

hands are dry...

And now a thick layer

of bubble wrap.

[crinkling]

You, um, you sure you don't

have any more in the back?

The back?

There is no back anymore.

Yeah, but look at

the bright side.

I reduced your inventory for ya.

Reduced?

You destroyed everything!

And now...

you're gonna have to pay!

Are you really angry,

or are you just

trying to sound louder?

I'm really angry!

And I demand immediate payment!

-Take it. It's all my savings.

-This?

This isn't enough

to replace my fortune!

I'm gonna need more.

Sorry, that's all I got. Honest.

No, it's not.

You got two arms and two legs,

don't ya?

-Yeah.

-Give me one of each.

OK.

I'll also need

some internal organs.

[heart beating]

And an eyeball.

And your clothes.

Oh, Gary,

how I wish your shell could

grow back like my appendages.

Hey, I got an idea!

[meows]

Oh, Gary, it's not that bad.

Square looks good on anybody.

[cries]

Oh, who am I kidding?

It looks terrible on you!

[cries]

I know, Gary,

I ruined your life!

Do you have to rub it in?

[both sobbing]

Hey, what's with

all that sniveling?

Mr. Krabs.

What are you doing here?

I'm just... Oh, well,

um, never mind that, boy.

What's your problem?

I destroyed Gary's shell.

And now I can't

find a replacement.

So I guess he'll just live

the rest of his days

as a lowly slug!

[cries]

[meows]

There, there, boy. There, there.

Not that bad.

I'm sure you'll

think of something.

Mr. Krabs, perhaps you could

help me find

a new shell for Gary.

Well, I'd be honored to help

you and your sniveling snail

during such desperate times.

Cos I love helping others,

by helping me-self.

-Now, how much you got?

-Nothing, Mr. Krabs.

-I'm broke.

-Oh.

I see.

But wait, Mr. Krabs.

If you help me get Gary a shell,

I'll work for free

for the rest of the year.

Only if I can cut

your health benefits for you.

Deal!

[teeth chattering]

[whimpers, gasps loudly]

Oh, another bad dream.

[screaming]

Mr. Krabs?

[meows]

Oh, sorry, Gary. I'm not

used to your new shell.

[hinge creaking]

[shuddering]

-[teeth chattering]

-SpongeBob, my boy,

I need to borrow a blanket.

There you go, Mr. Krabs.

Thanks, boy-o.

Now I'm all toasty.

[sighs]

I guess all's shell

that ends shell.

Huh, Gary?

[laughs] That's a good one!

Gary?

Gary? Gary?