06x11 - SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One/ SpongeBob SquarePants and the Big Wave

[bunniefuu]

Are ya ready, kids?

Kids: aye, aye, captain.

I can't hear you.

Kids: [shouting]

Aye, aye, captain.

♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple

Under the sea? ♪

Kids: ♪ spongebob squarepants ♪

Captain: ♪ absorbent and yellow

And porous is he ♪

Kids: ♪ spongebob squarepants ♪

Captain: ♪ if nautical nonsense

Be somethin' you wish ♪

Kids: ♪ spongebob squarepants ♪

Captain: ♪ then drop on the deck

And flop like a fish ♪

Kids: ♪ spongebob squarepants ♪

Captain: ♪ ready? ♪

All: ♪ spongebob squarepants ♪

♪ Spongebob squarepants ♪

♪ Spongebob squarepants ♪

Captain: ♪ spongebob

Squarepants ♪

[Captain laughing]

[Whistling]

[Waves crashing...

Seagulls squawking]

[♪...]

[Sighs]

If it gets any hotter in here,

We're gonna have to put

Fried calamari on the menu.

It's a good thing

That new ceiling fan

Mr. Krabs installed

Is still working.

Were you talking to me,

Squidward?

Mr. Krabs, the fuh-fuh...

Ooh, good word, boy.

Don't sneak up on me like that.

The... Fan... Eh...

You're not wearing shoes, lad.

You're not going

"Section eight" on me, are you?

I was wearing shoes, they...

It's so hot, they melted off.

Melted off?

The fan stopped working.

Huh?

Mr. Krabs, you didn't

Forget to pay the power bill

Again, did you?

Of course not.

Here, just fan yourself

With some of this junk mail

I keep finding in my mailbox.

That reminds me,

Where are all me customers?

Probably out enjoying this

Beautiful day

Where it was meant

To be enjoyed.

Could you be

A little more specific?

They're at the beach.

Boys, I forgot to tell you.

Close up shop,

We're going to the beach today.

Krabs: ahoy there...

Whoa.

My name is eugene krabs.

And I would like to know if

I can interest either one of you

In a fresh, delicious krabby

Patty fresh off the grill.

Are they free?

Yes, today they're

Only $ ... Each.

Sounds great, but I left

My wallet up on the sand.

I told you.

Sandy: yee....

What?

Sandy: yee...

...haw, I love the beach.

Oh, that noise was sandy.

Y'all be careful.

Looks like some

big waves a-comin'.

Who are you?

Either you buy a patty

Or get off me wave.

Cowabunga.

What next?

[Sputters]

Oh, no, oh...

Aloha, patrick.

Hey there, young fellow.

How'd you like to be

Our first customer

In over working days?

I'd love to.

Squidward, show him a menu.

Uh...

I can't quite see it from here.

I'll just have to

Climb on board.

[Laughs]

That's a good one, patrick,

On "board."

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Careful, you're gonna

Capsize us.

Almost up.

[Spongebob stammers]

You idiot.

Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh...

Eeh... Eeh...

Patrick, look out!

Locals only.

What'd she say?

[All screaming]

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

Wipeout...

[Screaming]

What, where'd the beach go?

These waters are calm.

Too calm.

Black sky.

Waterspouts... Of blood?

Jelly donuts

Falling from the sky?

What could this mean?

There's only one logical answer.

I've landed right in the middle

Of dutchman's triangle.

[Chorus sings eerily]

Right above davy jones's locker.

[Chorus sings eerily]

In the devil's galley.

[Chorus sings eerily]

Guys, look.

Spongebob, what are you doing

With that seaweed?

Just dragging it around.

Man: hey there, ho-dads.

Welcome to our remote island.

Island?

-Island?

[Snores]

That's right, kemo sabe, island.

Although we sometimes

Refer to it as an... Island.

We were just in goo lagoon

Selling krabby patties

When this big wave hit us,

Now we're on an island?

The ocean works

In mysterious ways.

And waves.

Mysterious waves.

Om...

Om...

Well, how did you guys get here?

Oh, we've been here since we

Dropped out of junior college.

This is awesome eddie, big g.,

Chip and silent stan.

And I'm twitch.

Why do they call you twitch?

[Grunts] what?

Never mind.

So what did you say this house

Was made from again?

Guano.

Right.

Well, it's been fun

Hanging out with you guys

But mr. Krabs didn't

Give us the day off

So we gotta head back

To goo lagoon.

Well, you're miles from

That tourist trap now, dude.

Yeah, the only way back

Is to surf there.

Only way...

Back... Surfing?

Bikini bottom?

[Screams]

I don't know how to surf.

[Cries]

Wo-ho, chill out, little dude,

We can teach you.

Cool.

Narrator: ah,

Learning how to surf.

To some, it comes as easily as

Eating an ice cream cone

On a hot day.

Others... Well...

To them it's like eating

An ice cream cone on a cold day.

Sometimes in surfing,

It's the approach that's

Most important.

And sometimes, it's the retreat.

[Screaming]

Once in a lifetime,

That perfect wave comes along.

Not too big, not too small.

And the surfer

Has to act fast...

Go...

Narrator: or he stands to miss

The ride of his life.

Hey, patrick, want to

See something cool?

You bet.

Down here.

See, it's a picture

Of squidward.

Wow...

Narrator: but all in all,

In life...

It's not whether we win or lose,

But whether we get

Totally stoked.

Well, dudes, I give up.

What?

These ho-dads are

Impossible to teach.

[Sputters] especially the one

On the end over there.

[Coughs and wheezes]

What's that?

[Coughs and wheezes]

Oh, no, there's no way,

Dude, he'd never do it.

[Coughs and hacks]

What's he saying?

Eh, he reminded us

That there is one dude

Who could possibly teach you...

If you can find him.

Who?

His name, [grunts],

Is jack kahuna laguna.

Or j.k.l. For short.

Aw, man.

We say that legend says that

J.k.l. Was last seen upriver

At the kahamamoku cove

Where every wave is perfect.

Will there be nachos there?

Thanks again for letting us

Borrow these surfboards, twitch.

[Grunts] no problem.

And just keep following

The river straight up

Till you hit kakamuko cove,

Can't miss it.

How far upstream

Did you say it was?

Well, we don't know

'Cause we've never

Ever been there.

We're deathly afraid

Of this river

And wouldn't even set foot in it

If you paid us.

Yeah, interpret that

Any way you want.

[♪...]

Oh, where am i?

Where is everybody?

[Breathing heavily]

I'm stranded.

Spongebob, where are you?

Man: ♪ I make a beeline

For the tree line ♪

♪ Getting back to nature

Always does me good ♪

♪ I'll make a beeline

For the tree line ♪

♪ I just can't wait

To get back in the woods ♪

♪ And when I need to

Close my eyes and dream ♪

♪ Beside a quiet

Mountain stream... ♪

[Sighs]

Man: ♪ that's when I make

A beeline for the tree line ♪

[Screaming]

Man: ♪ ...beeline for

The tree line. ♪

Could you pull over here?

I gotta tie my shoe.

Again?

Spongebob: "welcome to

Kahmamoku cove."

[Whispers]: j.k.l.

Guys, guys...

I found the cove. [Giggles]

I bet this guy

Won't even be here.

If he's anything like that

Last group of dirty drop-outs...

Oh, don't worry, squidward,

He'll be here.

You've never even seen him.

You have got to stop judging

People by the way they look.

[Donkey brays]

You're right.

Look.

[♪...]

It's him.

[Sighs]

Oh, my...

[Moans indistinctly]

It's j.k.l. [Gulps]

[Breathing heavily]

Hail, o great swami

Of the gnarly pounders.

We seek audience with thee.

Plus we want to talk to you.

Will you teach us how to surf,

O great one?

So we may get back home?

-Uh...

-Look, surf-boy...

Are you gonna teach us

How to surf

Or are we just gonna stand here

And stare at you all day?

I kind of like staring at him.

[Squeaking]

[Sniffles] I've never seen

Anything more beautiful,

Have you, patrick?

Not since I saw my first

Triple-layer cheesecake.

That... Was your first lesson.

What, you call that a lesson?

We just stood here

And watched you surf

For two-and-a-half hours.

[Exhales briefly]

Just keep breathing.

[Sputters indistinctly]

Or locusts... Call larry.

Oh, look, cashy.

Earrings.

Well, cashy, I guess

The devil's galley isn't so bad.

As long as that

Flying dutchman doesn't appear

And stick us in

Davy jones's locker.

[Laughs]

But that won't happen,

Will it, cashy?

Ow.

[Screams] it's

The flying dutchman.

[Screams] it's some guy

I've never seen before.

Argh, who be disturbing

The flying dutchman's walk home

From the convenience store?

You've even spilled me milk.

Well, there ain't no use

Crying over it.

[Screams]

Don't worry, cashy,

I'll protect ye.

[Chorus sings eerily]

Isn't jack kahuna laguna the

Most totally awesome surf guru

You've ever met, squidward?

I don't know about you two

But I'd like to get out of here

At some point.

And if his idea

Of teaching us is...

Oh, wonderful.

Quiet, squidward,

I think we're about to

Receive another lesson.

Just keep breathing.

That's it?

I just want to go home.

Would it make you feel better if

I went and talked to him?

Oh, thank you,

Thank you, spongebob.

Well, did you talk to him?

Yep.

And?

He said, we just have to

Stare into this fire all night

And the secrets

Will be revealed.

We're gonna be

Stuck here forever.

Well, sandy,

Using only your bare hands

And the resources found on

This deserted island

You have not only survived

But thrived.

You built a five-star hotel...

A steam-powered generator...

A car that runs on

Coconut milk...

And even an espresso bar.

I almost don't want to leave,

But I miss bikini bottom.

Now I can find spongebob and

The g*ng and fly us right back.

Acorn-one to tower,

Request clearance.

Roger, acorn-one,

You are cleared for take-off.

[♪...]

Oh, please, mr. Dutchman.

I didn't mean to

Spill your groceries.

Well, normally I wouldn't mind,

But I'm a little low

On cash this month.

So I have no way to pay

For more.

Unless you have

Some money I can borrow.

No, i... Cashy.

Please, cashy is

The closest thing to a friend

I've ever had.

[Moans and mumbles]

Please tell me you two didn't

Stare at that fire all night.

Ok.

All right, I'm done.

Hey, blondie.

Teach me how to surf so I can

Go home, or I'm gonna...

You obviously didn't

Stare into the fire all night

Like your friends over there.

Those dudes are gonna make

Awesome surfers.

Spongebob: where's he going?

Come on.

[Breathing heavily]

[Screams]

Look, he's on top of that

Big drinking fountain.

[Grunts]

[Breathing heavily]

J.k.l., Is this the next part

Of our training?

[Exhales eerily]

[Whimpering]

These clouds...

They can only mean one thing.

Increased chance

Of precipitation?

Yes.

Every thousand years or so

The planets align in such a way

That a perfect wave is formed.

A perfect wave?

The world's biggest, fastest...

Longest, gnarliest...

Most totally awesome,

Perfect wave.

They call it...

The big one.

Hey, that's what

They used to call me.

It's probably

The only wave big enough

For you to ride all the way

To bikini bottom.

You'll have to catch it,

Or you'll be stuck here...

Forever.

The big one...

Is almost upon us.

Please, please, mr. Dutchman.

Let cashy go.

I promise I'll never

Soil your waters again.

Ya promise?

Oh, yes, I promise on my

Dear aunt sally's false teeth.

Liar!

[Chorus sings eerily]

What?

Your aunt sally doesn't

Wear false teeth.

How do you know?

Because I dated her

In high school.

[Gasps] no...

Whoops.

This weather sure is dangerous.

I'd better be careful.

Mayday, mayday, I'm going down.

Repeat, down.

And now, just to make sure

This never happens again...

I'm gonna send you on

A little trip down to...

Oh, ow, ooh, ow, ooh.

Uh... Where is that, exactly?

Sandy: mayday...

[Coughing]

[Sighs] all alone again.

[Bell dings]

Cashy.

[Groans]

What the?

Tube sock?

But that means...

Yeah, that's right, baby.

Welcome to my locker. [Laughs]

[Groans]

[Laughs]

♪ For a daydream believer

And a homecoming queen ♪

[Laughs]

The monkees: ♪ cheer up,

Sleepy jean ♪

-[Screams]

-[Laughs]

The monkees: ♪ oh, what can... ♪

J.k.l.: Get ready, dudes,

It's coming.

J.k.l., Thanks for

Teaching us how to surf.

Little dude...

I didn't teach you anything

You didn't already know.

Here it comes.

Well, j.k.l., I guess

This is good-bye.

Wait, there's something

I forgot to tell you.

In return for its awesomeness...

The big one always

Demands a sacrifice.

One of you will not return.

I volunteer spongebob.

Keep paddling, patrick.

This wind feels like

Broken glass mixed with

Razor blades.

Spongebob: it's the big one!

[Gasps]

[Laughs evilly]

No!

[Roars]

Hey, I was gonna eat that.

Patrick, grab on.

[Screams]

Hang on, squidward.

This is it.

Time for those lessons

To pay off.

Look, that's

Mr. Krabs down there.

You like it when I comb

Your hair, don't you, cashy?

Mr. Krabs, hop on

Or you'll be stuck here forever.

Who said that?

Mr. Krabs!

I never even got a chance

To tell him that i...

J.k.l.: Looking for this?

J.k.l.

And mr. Krabs.

And cashy.

[Bell dings]

Cashy!

J.k.l.

No!

Little dude...

I was born to do this.

[Burping]

I guess this big one

Prefers a high-protein meal.

Now what're we gonna do?

[♪...]

You hear a noise?

Everybody, look.

A you-foe.

A spaceman.

Don't make any

Funny moves, spaceman.

You're not conquering

Our world without a fight.

I'm not a spaceman,

You dunderhead.

It's me, sandy,

Spongebob's friend.

[Crowd murmurs]

Shucks, now I'll never

Find spongebob and patrick.

Who?

My friends.

They went surfing

And never returned.

Is one of them, like,

A little square dude

With big teeth?

You some kind of mind-reader?

No.

Crowd: welcome home.

[Cheering]

Hey, twitch.

[Grunts] grab a guitar, dude.

Let's party.

[Coughs]

I love this song.

[Laughs]

Whee...

[Loud splashing]

Look.

J.k.l.

[Cheering]

Just keep breathing.

Cashy.

Turn it up, chip.

["Daydream believer" plays]

Monkees: ♪ cheer up,

Sleepy jean ♪

♪ Oh, what can it mean ♪

♪ To a daydream believer ♪

♪ And a homecoming queen... ♪

♪ Cheer up, sleepy jean ♪

♪ Oh, what can it mean ♪

♪ To a daydream believer ♪

♪ And a homecoming queen. ♪

[Children laughing]