06x10 - The Slumber Party/Grooming Gary

[bunniefuu]

-Are you ready, kids?

-[kids] Aye-aye, Captain.

-I can't hear you.

-Aye-aye, Captain!

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple

Under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow

And porous is he ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense

Be something you wish ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck

And flop like a fish ♪

-♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

-Ready?

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants

SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

[laughs]

[plays flute tune]

[snores]

-Unacceptable!

-Pearl!

My friends'll be here

in minutes for my party

and you're laying around, in

your tighty-no-longer-whities.

A man works hard all week to

keep his pants off all weekend.

If you trusted me,

you would leave for the night!

[laughs]

You made cork rinds

come out my nose!

-Dad!

-Look.

I'll stay upstairs

in my room and not interrupt.

-You promise?

-I promise.

-Goodnight, Daddy.

-Goodnight, sweetie!

Dad!

Oh, hi, Pumpkin!

I was setting out refreshments

for you and your friends.

Crackers and tap water?

You are the cheapest crab alive.

Now, don't say that. Here.

-Would your friends like pizza?

-Well, yeah. Yeah, we would!

OK. You can have

your allowance early.

-Ketchup?

-See?

You put it on the crackers

and mamma mia!

You got-a one-a spicy pizza pie!

Mmm. Mmm?

OK, OK. I'm going.

-[knocking]

-Oh! Oh! [giggles] They're here!

Hi! [giggles]

-[knocking continues]

-Dad!

-Just putting up house rules.

-"No dancing."

"No loud music after . ."

"No touching the root beer

cellar."

And the most important one

of all...

No boys allowed!

-Isn't it glorious?!

-[door shuts]

Sweetie?

You accidentally locked

the door.

You're not coming back

in this house

until after my slumber party

is over.

[gasps] This is mutiny!

What are you going to do about

it? Take away my allowance?

Here you go!

Open this door, or I'll...

You want to stay here?

At my house?

With me?

What do you say, boy?

[squeals with delight]

Slumber party!

Maybe I should just sleep

under the highway.

We can stay up

really, really late

and tell ghost stories

and trade socks.

Is that what girls do

at slumber parties?

No, they invite boys over

and destroy the house.

-They what?!

-You know how girls are.

Uh, SpongeBob, do you know

anything about girls?

Ah! Do I know any... [laughs]

No. But Gary does.

Meow.

We now return to tonight's

scary movie,

"Slumber Party Zombie Attack."

-Pillow fight!

-[giggling]

That tickles! Missed me.

[gasps] Look what they're doing

to that man's house!

-Mr. Krabs, it's only a mo...

-Quiet, boy.

Boys are here!

Hi, girls. I brought

my destructive friends.

Nice to meet you.

Ha! Destroying other people's

possessions is fun.

[screams] Turn it off!

Turn it off! I can't take it!

I don't think

this is the scary part yet.

[tires squeal]

I said, turn it off!

Gosh, Mr. Krabs. I never knew

you were scared of zombies.

Not zombies, you barnacle brain.

[whispers] Teenagers.

Zombie teenagers?

No! Pearl

and her no-good friends.

They're probably destroying

my house right now.

Like this! "Oops!"

"I don't care. It's not mine."

"Look! One of the homeowner's

most prized possessions."

-"La dee da."

-Mr. Krabs...

"Ooh, this'll be fun to destroy!

Whee!"

-Now do you get it, boy?

-Oh, I do, Mr. Krabs.

It must be horrible to invite

people into your home

and have them treat your

property with little respect.

That's what teenagers do!

Do you want this to happen

to my house?

Gosh, no, Mr. Krabs!

Get into Pearl's party and find

out what they're doing.

Leave it to me, Mr. K.

I've got the perfect disguise.

[giggling, chattering]

-[knocking]

-Hello?

Hi. I'm here

for the slumber party!

Do I know you?

My name is, um, Girly Teengirl.

Uh-huh.

And I just moved here from,

um, Far Away Ville.

I know it's you,

SpongeBob SquarePants.

I don't know

what you're talking about.

Aah!

You were sent to spy on me

by my dad.

Get him, girls!

Aah!

[weeps]

I'm so moving back

to Far Away Ville.

Who the heck is that?

I don't know,

but she is uh-glee!

Now to put on that disguise

I told you about. Ta-da!

Huh? Huh? Huh?

You are one-of-a-kind, boy.

[knocking]

-Pizza delivery.

-We didn't order pizza.

You didn't?

[whispers] Tell 'em

it's from me.

Your dad sent it.

It's already paid for.

I'd sooner believe space aliens

sent me a free pizza

before I'd believe my dad would.

Now, who are you?

Um... Hey!

[gasps] SpongeBob!

They're on to us, Mr. Krabs!

-Drive!

-Right, boy.

[tires screech]

I wanted to come with you,

Mr. Krabs.

-Get him!

-Whoa!

Oh, big surprise.

Dad was too cheap

to buy real pizza.

What's taking SpongeBob

so long?

I'm getting tired

of looking through his stuff.

-[knocking]

-Hello? Pizza!

I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs.

I failed you.

-I know, son.

-Uh, Mr. Krabs, that's my eye.

And it's ice cold too.

You should've been back here

in minutes or less.

[chomps]

-[knocking]

-Who is it?

Piano repair man.

-[quiet muttering]

-OK, we'll be right out.

Mr. Krabs, it's working.

Have it back by tomorrow, OK?

Maybe we should leave them

alone, Mr. Krabs.

They seem pretty trustworthy.

You get into that party

or you're fired.

Yes, Mr. Krabs.

Whoever could it be this time?

It's me, SpongeBob SquarePants.

Can we talk, Pearl?

Whale to Sponge?

Hold the boiling oil.

[grumbling]

What do you want, SpongeBob?

Oh, please let me stay

at your party!

Oh, please, oh, please, oh,

please, please, please, please!

-Please!

-No.

Give me one reason

why I can't stay.

I can give you a hundred

million billion reasons.

I only asked for one.

Reason number one.

You're just like my dad.

Really?

A no-good, dried-up,

old fuddy-duddy.

So, if I prove I'm fun,

can I stay?!

Sure, SpongeBob.

If you can prove you're

the most fun person

on the planet

in the next ten seconds,

you can stay.

I only need eight.

Whoo! Party! Crank it up!

Five seconds.

These old newspapers

are confetti in fun hands. Whoo!

I'm allergic to newsprint.

Ooh! Ow!

Two seconds.

[laughs]

-Aah!

-[thud]

OK, OK. I got to admit,

that was kind of fun.

-I think he's hurt.

-He's not hurt.

[moans]

-See?

-Maybe he's a zombie.

If he comes back as a zombie

and eats my brain,

I'm totally not going to be

your friend any more.

Ooh.

Mr. Krabs's root beer cellar.

Fun.

We now return to

"Slumber Party Zombie Attack."

-Aah! A zombie!

-[groans]

This movie isn't all that scary.

Yeah, that zombie

looks totally fake!

[creaking]

[garbles]

[all] Aah! Zombie!

Fun!

Aah!

Zombie juice!

Aah! Run!

Aah!

[garbling]

[garbles] Who wants to dance?

No! I already have

a zombie boyfriend.

Let's boogie. Whoo!

[screaming]

What in Neptune's toupee

is going on here?

[gasps, screams]

Me knick-knacks!

[screams] Me root beer!

Me pile of old newspapers!

[sobs]

I was maybe going to read

them some day.

I knew I shouldn't have trusted

you.

Trusted me?! Your employee

destroyed this house.

-The only boy at the party.

-SpongeBob?!

Well, Mr. Krabs,

you know how boys are.

[chuckles] Ow!

It's your fault my party

is ruined!

And now my friends

have Zombie Shock Syndrome!

I'm too pretty to be a zombie!

We were fine with a nice,

simple slumber party,

but now it's going to cost you.

Cost me what?

-[hisses] Money!

-NO!

-Everyone having a good time?

-[crowd] Yeah!

Well, you can all thank my dad

for making this possible.

Thank you, Daddy!

[all thank Mr. Krabs]

You're welcome, sweetie!

Oh, this is so expensive.

You're not allowed any closer,

sir.

Mr. Krabs, I think I know

what will cheer you up.

[grunts]

A mug of ice-cold root beer!

No, SpongeBob, that doesn't

cheer me up at all.

[foghorn blasts]

Bikini Bottom Pet Show today!

Good thing I put those notes

there. I could've forgotten.

And I wouldn't wanna do that!

Cos the Bikini Bottom Pet Show

is where you gotta go

to see the best pets in town!

Not that any other pets stand

a chance against my buddy, Gary.

He's the bestest pet

in the whole world!

Love you, Gare-Bear.

Uh-oh. The show starts

in an hour!

Hey Gar, time to... Gary? Whoa!

Gary! Gary? Gary? Gary?

Looks like another beautiful

day here in Bikini Bottom.

Gary?!

Gary? Oh, hiya, Squidward.

Whoa!

Gary!

Gary? Gary?

Gary, there you are!

What are you doing here

when today is the day

we get to show everyone else

you're the best pet

in the whole world!

Now for a quick checklist.

Let's see.

Eyestalk reflexes. Check!

Slime viscosity.

Hi, Squidward!

Ready?

-Hi, again, Squidward!

-Yello.

Check. And last but not least,

a quick undercarriage check.

[hisses]

Oh, OK.

Maybe we better skip that one.

Let's see.

Yep, that about does it.

Good thinking, buddy.

I'll carry your shell!

[barking, meowing]

Stand up straight. Posture

is everything in appearance.

Roll over.

Your newly trimmed hairstyles

highlight your regality.

Huh. People sure seem to treat

their pets differently here.

That's a good boy, Foo-fee.

Look at your luxurious mane.

Every self-respecting snail

has one.

Luxurious mane?

Reow.

Ah, yes. How could I forget?

Accessories!

Your diamond-studded leash.

I always use an old rope.

I guess that's not good enough.

There's the cherry

on the beauty cake,

the glossy painted shell.

And last but not least,

well-maintained oral hygiene.

Just look at your pearly whites.

-Uh, Gary?

-Meow.

We'd best run along, Foofs.

Your pedicure

is in half an hour.

Pedicure? Ooh. I didn't realize

how much went into this.

-Meow.

-Don't be so protective of me.

I know I've been a horrible

parent, but no longer!

From this moment on forth

I vow to give my Gary

the utmost in empty frivolity!

To live by the standards

of snail grooming

set forth by that guy!

-What's up?

-No, not you!

OK.

Enough dilly-dallying.

We gotta get down to business!

-Meow.

-Hold still, Gary.

-[hisses]

-Come on, buddy!

Ah! There!

Oh, you're like

a little cuddly present.

[laughs]

[sighs]

And the piece de resistance...

...glow-in-the-dark paint.

Hey, where you going?

Gary, wait! We gotta go back

to the pet show!

-Meow.

-Because!

We have got to show those

other pets

that we're just as fancy

as they are!

Oh, come on, Gary.

Don't be this way.

I'm doing it for YOU, not me.

Meow.

That's what I like to hear.

Because now I can bring

this out!

Your very own studded collar,

with two rows of diamonds.

Here, try it on.

Now let's get back out there

and knock 'em

out of their shells!

-Meow.

-Hey, SpongeBob, what you doing?

Patrick! I'm so glad

you happened to show up.

Help me...

[unintelligible whispering]

-[hisses]

-Gary, stop it!

I'm only doing this

cos I love you..

Gary, look! It's him!

Come now, Foof,

keep your tail up, up, up.

Hellooooo!

Sorry to bother you.

I want your opinion on my snail.

[chuckles]

My boy, you don't seem

to get it, do you?

There's only one way to prove

your pet's beauty,

by winning in the pet contest!

But I wouldn't bother.

Seeing as how Foo-Fee and I have

won for the past five years.

[chuckles] Oh, well, enough

mingling with the common folk.

Let's go win our medal, Foof.

This is it, Gary.

This is our time to shine!

Wow, Patrick.

There's a whole lot of

pet loving going on here today.

Yeah, you and Gary

don't have a chance.

Excuse me, sir,

but all non-pet owners

must remain behind this rope.

Now what am I gonna do?!

I'm all alone behind this rope!

-I'm right here.

-You don't understand!

You'll never understand

what it's like to be alone

behind the rope!

-[wails]

-Don't worry, Gary.

He'll be back in time

to see us win first place.

Now, let's go scope out

the competition.

There it is, Mrs. Squiggles.

Your new hairdo.

There you go, Muffsies.

Aw, isn't that cute?

[growls]

Poor Muffsies.

Those shades slipped

right off your little eyes.

Luckily I brought an extra,

smaller pair.

Huh. Maybe you need

some shades, huh, Gare?

[growls]

Silly boy, you're not supposed

to eat the leash.

Come on, buddy.

-Now, let's try this cape.

-[sighs]

Boy, these pets

are gussied up today.

Maybe you need a top hat or

something to class it up a bit.

Gary?

Oh, thanks for reminding me.

I didn't know your collar

was loose.

Now, let's go get

that top hat, buddy.

There you go.

[defeated meow]

All right, let's see. Uh-huh.

Decent stalk length.

Good hinge action.

Ah, Foofie.

Excellent brow stretch.

Well-defined eyelid

capillaries.

Foofie is looking

as good as ever, Charles.

Why, thank you, sir.

OK, let's have a look-see,

shall we?

Ah, yes, good spacing

on the larynx.

Nice gastric chamber.

-All within breed description.

-It's in the bag.

Now, if we could just check

the undercarriage.

[screams]

[all gasp]

Gary, no!

Gary! You spit him out

right now!

I'm sorry,

he usually only bites me.

[meows, garbles]

[garbles]

[all garble]

[garbles angrily]

[wails]

[all wail]

Muffsies... You look angry?

What's going on?!

[all growl]

What a hideous display.

At least I know you'd never

behave like all these heathens.

Right, Foofie? Foofie?

-[growls]

-Foofie?

[fearful muttering]

[garbles]

No, Muffsies! No!

[screams]

Wait... Wait...

[screams]

[squeals]

[screams]

[angry yelling, grunting]

Foofie, what have you done?

What's this about?

Does anyone speak snail?

I speak a little bit, sir!

I know what they are saying!

They are saying, "Owners,

owners, owners, owners, owners,

please, please, please, please,

please, don't be this way."

They are saying they don't want

this type of pampering.

They want to be treated as

companions, not dress-up dolls.

They don't want

scratchy outfits.

They want to be scratched.

They are protesting

the indignity of wigs

and jewel-encrusted collars!

They want to be free

from superficial

and degrading pageants

like these!

[pets growl]

You were trying to tell me that

all along, weren't you?

[meows]

Well, I won't

let it happen again.

Well, I think we can all agree

that this year's Groomer's Cup

goes to...

SpongeBob and his wonderful pet!

[applause]

Did you hear that, Gary?

They're rewarding you

for standing up

and speaking out

against injustice!

Maybe these pageants

aren't so superficial after all.

What are you talking about?

The snail didn't win.

I was referring

to your other pet.

He's SO adorable!

[woofs, pants]