( slurps )
Ah...
I don't know how you do it,
Gar Bear,
but that's the best cup of
French toast I've ever had.
( meows )
Well, time to punch that clock,
but not before checking
my motivational
quote-a-day calendar.
"You are a winner."
Oh! And today's the first day
of summer.
( door opens )
Happy first day of summer,
Squidward.
Care to join me for
solstice caroling?
♪ Walking in the grass,
it's all fine ♪
♪ Don't need shoes
in the summertime. ♪
I'm not much of a summer person,
SpongeBob.
Davy Jones on the jib!
Do my ears deceive me?
Is it really
the first day of summer?
Is it?!
Yeah.
Oo-whee-hoo!
Gee, Mr. K,
you sure have
a scorching case
of summer fever.
What is it about summertime
that makes us so happy?
The firefly-lit nights?
The intoxicating aroma
of a charcoal briquette?
The hypnotic sound
of a lawnmower
running over a flip-flop?
The money.
The money?
Er, uh, I mean, uh...
the children.
Oh.
You see, boy,
during the summer,
the children are excused
from their classes.
A recess commonly
referred to as summer break.
Tell me more about summer break.
( bell rings )
Well, during the summer break,
the children wander
Bikini Bottom unsupervised,
their pockets lined
with allowance,
free to spend their money
without any parental guidance
whatsoever.
I guess that's what I like best.
( cash register rings )
Sure I suppose some would try
and take advantage
of this situation
by selling them toys or candy.
But I sleep well at night
with the knowledge
that I'm providing them
with something they need...
a nutritious meal.
Come here, you little piggies!
I've been taught the true
meaning of summer.
Almost closing
time, Mr. K.
What?!
But that's impossible!
What about the money?!
l mean, uh...
uh, what about the children?
( sighs )
I guess summer isn't
coming this year.
Hey, maybe they're all
at that new playground
over there.
Playground?!
Luring away me young customers?
Warm up the boat, SpongeBob.
See anything, Mr. Krabs?
Oh, they're here all right.
Just look at them, SpongeBob.
So weak and malnourished
with nobody trying
to sell them nothing.
Breaks me heart.
( sniffs )
( cries )
No!!
l got nothing to
live for, SpongeBob.
The way you drove the boat
while lying on the ground
was kind of cool.
True.
But that's not going
to get these munchkins
away from this playground.
Unless...
Hmm.
See you tomorrow, boy.
Got a lot of work to do.
You got it, Mr. Krabs.
Hey!
Another day, another dollar.
Gee, I wonder what Mr. Krabs has
been up to since I saw him last
and then went home to do
nothing of particular interest
till this very moment.
Huh?!
( drill whirs )
( hammering )
SpongeBob!
You're just in time for
the grand unveiling of...
Krabby Land.
Krabby Land, sir?
Yes, Krabby Land.
Where a kid can have fun.
For the right price.
( chuckles )
Welcome to The Krusty
Krab, young man.
What's your name?
Monroe.
Nice to meet you, Monroe.
Whee!
( chuckles )
( change jingles )
Aha.
Okay, Money...
I mean, uh, children.
It's time for the grand
unveiling of Money!
I mean, Krabby Land!
( cheering ): Yay!
Okay, kids,
now promise Uncle Krabs
that if you get hungry
while you're playing
you'll come inside
for some delicious
nutritious Krabby Patties.
ALL:
We promise.
All right, here we go.
I give you... Krabby Land!
Yay!
Whoa! Ooh!
Where am I?
Uh... that reminds me.
I forgot to give you
these coloring books
slash liability waivers.
Everyone who hands theirs back
gets to meet the one and only
Krabby the Clown.
\-hYay! Yay!
Have fun.
And don't forget to eat plenty
of vitamin-enriched
Krabby Patties...
Krabby the Clown's
favorite meal.
We want Krabby!
We want Krabby!
Where is Krabby,
Mr. Krabs?
He'll be here after
I count their money.
Just stall them.
Stall them?
How do I do that?
I don't know, be entertaining.
Duh-uh... duh.
Hey, kids.
You're not Krabby the Clown.
No, I'm not. I'm, uh...
I'm Krabby's beloved sidekick
the Krabby Patty... Burglar.
Lame.
Krabby will be here soon.
He, uh, had to take the bus.
But in the meantime,
let's have some fun!
You kids like bubbles?
No.
Well, you've never
seen my bubbles.
Voila!
A bubble shaped
like a jellyfish.
How about that?
Still lame.
Okay.
Prepare to be blown back
on your tail fins.
Ta-dah!
Uh. Uh.
You stink!
Bring on the clown!
Okay.
Now for a finale.
Boo!
Boo! Boo!
Boo!
Boo!
Boo!
Boo!
( booing )
( sizzling )
( screaming )
My eyes!
( screaming )
Whoa-oh-oh!
( laughing )
They seem to respond
to me being in pain.
They enjoy
other people's misery.
Hey, kids.
Check this out.
( screaming )
( cheering )
l've got them
right where I want them.
Aah!
( cheering )
( screams )
( screams )
( screams )
( cheering )
( cheering )
( laughing )
( screams )
( cheering )
( chattering )
( chattering )
( laughing )
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ooh! Yow! Ow! Ooh! Yow!
( laughing )
( hands rip, SpongeBob screams )
( cheering )
Mr. Krabs
l can't take much more
of this stalling stuff.
Always thinking about yourself.
Get out there and stall!
What happened to your arms
and legs, boy?
The kids are using
them as boomerangs.
Boomerangs?
Oh, no!
They might break my windows.
What are we going to do?
Well, now that all
their money's counted
tell them Krabby
has just arrived.
Really? He's here?
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh,
boy, oh, boy, oh, boy...
Get out there and tell them!
Listen, everybody.
Krabby the Clown
is in the building!
( cheering )
Who do you want?!
Krabby!
When do you want him?!
Now!
Krabby! Krabby!
Krabby! Krabby! Hooray!
Hey, kids.
Are you ready to meet
Krabby the Clown?
Yay!
All right. Here you go!
( drumroll )
( squeaky voice ):
Hey, kids.
Uh, thank you all for coming.
Thank you.
Eat plenty of Krabby Patties.
♪ Doo-doo, dee-doodly-doo ♪
♪ Doo-doo, dee-doo. ♪
Ah, Krabs, you've done it again.
I'll say you have.
SpongeBob?
How could you, Mr. Krabs?
You promised these children
Krabby the Clown.
But all I saw up there was...
Cheapy the Cheapskate.
Hey, I ain't cheap.
Now take this tomato
back to the kitchen
before it spoils.
But what about
the true meaning of summer?
What about the children?
The children?
I don't care about the children.
l just care about
their parents' money.
Ah, the fact that their feeble
minds are easily manipulated
by cheap playgrounds
and talentless clowns
is no skin off my nose.
Survival of the fittest,
SpongeBob.
Survival of the fittest.
Heh-heh.
( clears throat )
Oh. Hey, kids.
Uh... Uncle Krabs
has to go to the bank now.
Get him!
( yelling )
( sighs )
( blows thudding )
I suppose I'll never know
the true meaning of summer.
I thought I knew it once
but that was a long,
long time ago.
You mean this morning?
Yeah.
( clank )
( children cheering )
Come outside, Mr. SquarePants.
It's a summer miracle.
Hoorah!
Wow, thousands of dollars
fluttering in the breeze.
I guess that's the true
meaning of summer.
( cheering and laughing )
Where's Mr. Krabs?
He's missing out
on all the summer fun.
Let me go!
I got to get some
of that green stuff.
No!
Not that green stuff!
( crying ):
No!!
Ah, finally,
the weekend is here,
and this isn't just
any old weekend.
This is the weekend SpongeBob
and Patrick go camping.
Wouldn't it be great
if they got lost in the woods
and never came back?
Patrick, I'm scared.
Ho-ho, that would be great.
You've waited
a long time for this.
A soft bed...
warm tea...
a good book...
and two whole days
with no ( silly laughter ).
( silly laughter )
What the...?
( silly laughter )
SpongeBob!
Aren't you two
supposed to be camping?
We are camping.
SpongeBob, it's not camping
if you're ten feet
from your house.
It doesn't matter
where you are
as long as you're
outdoors.
While all those soft city folk
are safe in their beds
reading books, we're out
here pitting ourselves
against the formidable
forces of nature.
You want to join us?
No.
Okay. Have fun inside.
( laughing )
What do you mean,
have fun inside?
Just...
have fun inside.
See you tomorrow.
Oh. Bye.
You little sneak.
I see what you're doing.
What?
Don't think I can't
see what you're doing.
What?
You're saying I can't take it.
But all I...
You're saying I'm soft.
You think your little
"have fun inside" challenge
is going to make me
come camping with you,
but that is
never going to happen.
There's no way I'm going
to sit out here all night
with you two losers.
So, get used to it.
Okay.
Have fun inside.
That's it!
I'm in!
I'll show you camping.
Squidward's going to come
camping with us.
( giggling )
( panting )
Now you'll see how a real...
...outdoorsman does it.
Here we are...
My remote-controlled
self-assembling tent.
Watch and learn.
That was great, Squidward,
but how do you get inside?
Yeah, it's all crushy-looking.
It isn't put up yet,
you idiots.
( grunting )
( ripping )
Huh?
Customization.
Genius.
( yelling )
He's tenderizing the ground.
Of course.
Write that down,
write that down!
Huh?
Voilà.
But what could compare to just
lying out under the stars?
( cheering )
Well, I've worked up an appetite
as big as all outdoors.
Time for a little grub.
I suppose you two
are going to stew up
some twigs and rocks, right?
No, we got something
even better.
Marshmallows.
( gobbling )
( swallows )
Mmm-mm.
Just like the astronauts eat.
( imitates static )
Patrick to SpongeBob.
Patrick to SpongeBob.
Do you read me? Over.
( imitates static )
SpongeBob to Patrick.
I read you. Over.
( imitates static )
Patrick to SpongeBob.
I like going
( imitates static ).
Over.
( imitates static )
SpongeBob to Patrick.
( imitates static )
Me, too.
( imitates static )
( imitates static )
( both imitating static )
SpongeBob to Patrick,
help yourself. Over.
Yummy.
( glass shattering )
Patrick to SpongeBob.
The deliciousness
has landed.
Well, you two astronauts
can eat marshmallows.
I'm going to have a can
of Swedish barnacle balls...
just as soon
as I can get my can opener.
But, Squidward,
didn't you take a can opener
when you hiked out here?
Why would I bother?
We're ten feet from my house.
But this is the wilderness.
It just doesn't seem to
fit the camping spirit.
Pretty weenie.
All right, all right.
Give me a marshmallow.
( gasping )
( gasping )
( gasping )
Ha-ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha.
Okay, besides spitting
molten foodstuffs at me,
what else do you do for fun?
Well... after a long day
of camping,
it's nice to unwind with
a nice, relaxing campfire song.
l call this one
"The Campfire Song Song."
♪ Let's gather round
the campfire ♪
♪ And sing our
campfire song ♪
♪ Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E
S-O-N-G song ♪
♪ And if you don't think
that we can sing it ♪
♪ Faster, then you're wrong ♪
♪ But it'll help
if you just sing along... ♪
♪ Bom, bom, bom ♪
♪ C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E
S-O-N-G song ♪
♪ C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E
S-O-N-G song ♪
♪ And if you don't
think that we ♪
♪ Can sing it faster,
then you are wrong ♪
♪ But it'll help
if you just sing along... ♪
♪ C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E
S-O-N-G song ♪ Patrick!
♪ Song. C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E... ♪
Squidward.
Good.
♪ It'll help... ♪
♪ It'll help... ♪
♪ If you just sing along... ♪
♪ Oh, yeah! ♪
( sighs )
Now, wasn't that relaxing?
No.
This is relaxing.
( playing "Michael,
Row the Boat Ashore" )
Oh, no!
I'll save you, Squidward.
Squidward, are you all right?
That's it.
Chew... chew...
and swallow.
( gasping )
There. Better?
Better?!
I was just fine
until you launched
that ballistic junk food
into my windpipe!
But I had to. It's
too dangerous
to play the clarinet badly
out here in the wilderness.
It might attract...
a sea bear.
A sea bear?
You mean like the ones
that... don't exist?!
What are you saying?
There's no such thing.
They're just a myth.
Oh, no, Squidward.
Sea bears are all too real.
lt says so in the
Bikini Bottom Inquirer.
"I married a Sea Bear"?
Yeah, and Fake Science Monthly.
"Sea Bears and
Fairytales Are Real"?
That's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
Well, maybe it is stupid,
but it's also dumb.
Patrick's right, Squidward...
Sea Bears are
no laughing matter.
Why, once I met this guy
who knew this guy
who knew this guy
who knew this guy
who knew this guy
who knew this guy
who knew this guy
who knew this guy
who knew this guy
who knew this guy
who knew this guy
who knew this guy
who knew this guy
who knew this guy
who knew this guy
who knew this guy's cousin...
You're right!
I should be more careful.
In fact, why don't you tell me
all of the things I shouldn't do
if I want to keep
the sea bears away.
Okay, that's easy.
First off,
don't play the clarinet.
Okay, then what?
Never wave your flashlight
back and forth really fast.
Flashlights are
their natural prey.
You're kidding.
Don't stomp around...
They take that
as a challenge.
Yeah.
Go on.
Don't ever eat cheese.
Sliced or cubed?
( whispering )
Cubed. Sliced is fine.
Yeah, yeah. And?
Never wear a sombrero...
... in a goofy fashion.
Or clown shoes. Or
a hoop skirt.
And never...
Ever...
Ever!
Duh!
Screech like a chimpanzee!
Wow. It's amazing
how many things
can set a sea bear off.
They're horrible.
And... and suddenly,
I have the sense
we're all in danger.
Why?
Why?
I don't know...
Just a feeling!
No.
Yes.
No.
( hooting like a chimpanzee )
Squidward, please don't!
( screeching
like a chimpanzee )
SpongeBob, what are
we going to do?
A sea bear is sure
to come and eat us.
Don't worry, Patrick.
I'll draw us an anti-sea bear
circle in the dirt.
Good thinking.
All the experts say
it's the only defense
against a sea bear attack.
Ha-ha-ha-ha. You guys
are so gullible.
See? I did everything
that attracts a sea bear
and nothing happened.
If sea bears really exist,
why didn't one show up?
Maybe it's because
you're not wearing
your sombrero
in a goofy fashion.
Oh, pfft. Sorry.
How silly of me.
You mean like this?
( laughing )
( laughing )
No. Like that.
( growling )
( shrieks )
( loud roaring )
( yelling )
( fighting )
( growling )
Squidward, are you okay?
No.
Quick. Jump inside our
anti-sea bear circle
before he comes back.
Yeah. Sea bears often
attack more than once.
Are you crazy?
A dirt circle won't
stop that monster.
I'm running for my life.
No!
( sea bear roaring )
( Squidward screaming,
blows thudding )
( growling )
Don't run! Sea
bears hate that.
Thanks for the tip.
I guess I'll just
limp home, then.
No!
( Squidward screaming,
blows landing )
( growling )
They hate limping
more than running!
Well, I guess I'll just have...
( Squidward screaming,
blows landing )
( growling )
I should have warned you
about crawling.
( Squidward screaming,
blows thudding )
( growling )
What did I do that time?
l don't know. I guess
he just doesn't like you.
Pretend to be somebody else.
Here, draw a circle.
Okay.
( Squidward screaming,
blows landing )
( growling )
That was an oval!
It has to be a circle!
Move over!
( growling )
( growling )
Hey. It worked.
You guys saved my life.
( cheering )
( cheering )
Yeah. I'm glad it was
just a sea bear.
This circle would never
hold back a sea rhinoceros.
What attracts them?
The sound of a sea bear attack.
( snorting )
Huh. Good thing
we're all wearing
our anti-sea rhinoceros
undergarments.
Right, Squidward?
Uh-huh.
03x17 - Krabby Land/The Camping Episode
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A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.
A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.