01x29 - Pas de Trois

[bunniefuu]

Are you kidding me?

You must've missed
a decimal point or something.

We owe, we owe,
it's off to work we go.

This is $ , .

Everything, the whole wad.
We don't get paid for two months,

Not to mention utilities
and keeping up stock, our lease.

- You know what they say about taxes.
- Not funny.

- I want you to take another look.
- I've looked at this, Jake.

Day and night for a week
and , is as good as it gets.

- I should've gotten a real accountant.
- How did I know that was coming?

If you didn't know what you were doing,
you should come out and say it.

Tell you what. Go and hire
a real accountant for $ .

And he'll tell you the same thing.
And then you'll owe $ , .

This is a real mess.

- We're in real trouble.
- No, you're in trouble.

- I am out of here.
- Jo!

- Jo.
- Do your own books.

No, that's fine,
. tomorrow is great.

OK, thanks.
Bye bye.

What's up?

Doctor's appointment.
A doctor's appointment.

That must be
the fourth oldest lie in the world?

You're welcome to call
the hospital, Amanda.

In fact, I bet you can talk to
my doctor directly, if you'd like.

He could sign a note
like grammar school.

Alison, I'm kidding.

Go ahead. And I hope
everything's OK.

Alison, Amanda, if you all could please
step into my office, it's important.

Right there.

Well, it's official.

I'm engaged.

Oh, that's wonderful!

It's out of the blue,
the last thing you'd expect.

- Who is he? Do we know him?
- Wait.

The salt-and-pepper guy with curls?

Yes, Irving Marshall, Jr
of Marshall and Westel.

We're giving a small
engagement party...

...a huge engagement party
at his family's house.

And you both have to be there.

Everything is so last minute,
it's madness.

- I've never seen you this happy.
- It shows? Good.

Well, we know he's handsome. And rich.
So, I assume in the bedroom he's...

- Amanda...
- Phenomenal.

I figured as much,
to jump in so quickly.

When you know something's right,
it's pointless to wait.

Absolutely.
With my last boyfriend, Billy,

one night in bed with him and I moved
him in. He had unbelievable stamina.

Even with an . meeting
the next morning.

Yeah, you just don't let a guy
like that get away. Ever.

You're looking for that region
of the back where the spine

makes its contrapuntal curve
into the tailbone...

Excuse me, continue without me
and I'll catch up.

Hello, doctor.

I have been incredibly distracted
all morning.

I'm having the same problem.

What are we gonna do about this?

This is complete madness.

I can't make a move without Amanda
making some comment, a pointed remark.

The worst part is me doing it back,
trying to match her dig for dig.

You should try a swim.

It's a great way to wash away
the frustrations of a work day.

Nancy likes an article a week
out of her staff writers.

I'll be burnt out in a month.

At least you don't work
for Amanda the Hun.

- That's good. Amanda the Hun.
- Go ahead, laugh. You got off easy.

You break her heart,
she breaks my back.

What do you want me to do?
She knows it's over between us.

That doesn't mean she's given up.

She still talks about you
like you're the love of her life.

- There's nothing I can do about that.
- Stop making this into an ego trip.

It is clear the woman punishes me
because of what happened between you.

- Want me to go out with her again?
- No.

OK, then. This latest today,
that was the worst.

What?

- Never mind. It's too embarrassing.
- Tell me.

It's just this insinuation
she keeps making that she's this...

...experienced woman.

And I'm some kind of
Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.

You? Well, maybe, Joan of Arc.

Billy...

Alison, you're a wholesome woman.
Some men, they get turned on by that.

Well, like farmers and the -H crowd.

You are not helping.

Think about it. She's trying
to make you doubt yourself.

It's the exact same thing she did to me.
The woman is totally transparent.

For your information,
I was president of my -H club!

Hi. I was wondering if you
could just explain a few things.

These forms are so complicated.

Now that I'm not doing your books
I have all this time,

I'm going off to a movie, actually.

Line by line deductions. Bummer.

You'll get the hang of it.

You're being a child about this!

- Billy.
- Hi.

Alison's at a doctor's appointment.

- A follow-up to her surgery.
- Then you must be here to see me.

I came down to figure out
what's going on.

- What you're doing and why.
- I don't understand. Doing what?

You're driving Alison crazy. Every night
I hear of the latest t*rture inflicted.

If you're punishing her cos of me,
that's not fair.

If you wanna have it out, fine,
but I want Alison left out of this.

This is what she tells you,
I t*rture her?

- That's ridiculous, ask anyone.
- She says you act like we're going out.

And she tells me that you've been going
out with other woman, is that true?

No.

If you want the truth,
I've been holding her up.

She's brain dead since
she broke up with Keith.

Distracted, disorganized.
Look at her desk. Go look at it.

She can barely keep up.

- Remember when you gave me that?
- Yeah.

I guess it's been hard for me
to let go.

So living together didn't work out.

But the rest of what we had,
friendship and companionship.

I really miss that.

I hope you're not mad.
It's only a photograph.

I just don't want her
to become a victim in this.

- A part she plays so well.
- Amanda.

OK, all right, you win.
I'll be more sensitive.

But I'm telling you, it's Alison
with the problems, not me.

- I've got to get back to work.
- Keep in touch, OK?

Sure.

Everything checks out.
You're in perfect health.

Great. I really appreciate it.

- Remember, check-ups every six months.
- Got it.

Oh, I'm all turned around.
Where's the parking lot?

Take the elevator to the main floor
and parking is right outside.

Thanks.

Let's say I go to Lucy's
engagement party with you.

Amanda's there, she makes
a big deal out of everything.

There's tension, right?
A conflict develops.

Things at work will go
from bad to worse.

Or she realizes she can't mess with us,
that she's not making inroads.

- What, scared you'll be tempted?
- I'm thinking about you.

- I don't want you to be uncomfortable.
- Amanda will be uncomfortable.

- Which would be a nice change.
- I hope it's not black tie.

- I don't have money for a rental.
- Dress is California hip.

Whatever that means.

Janey, remind me to call Mr Kay.
We need a new washer.

It's not Janey.

If you think we're going to
have a talk about this, forget it.

You've had a whole day
to think up a story, or an excuse.

I'm sure you've dreamed up a
better scenario, what's the point?

I don't know what explanation
there could be. I know what I saw.

Kimberly had a tough morning.
I was trying to comfort her.

Doctors who work in extreme situations
tend to become close.

Not that you'd understand.

You're having an affair with her,
aren't you?

God, Michael,
how could you do this to Jane?

- How did Keith do it?
- That's different.

Was it?

You two are the only
happy couple I know.

And we'll stay happy,
if you don't say anything.

You tell Jane,
it'll destroy her and us.

Then you'd have the blood
of two marriages on your hands.

I just don't understand why.

Why would you risk something
so perfect for...

For what? Instant gratification?

Guys are like that, Alison.

Sometimes we need variety,
we need to feel good about ourselves.

Sometimes we can't say no
to temptation.

Any other questions?

Good. That washer's out of order.
You'll have to use the other one...

See? The seams have to be invisible.
Otherwise when it's wet,

it'll bunch and show.
Try it again. Wet it down.

Start over. I need all of them
redone right this time.

Watching you is like looking in a
mirror, and that is not a compliment.

- The buyers will be here tomorrow.
- If I may share some wisdom,

bathing suits are not worth dying for.
Nor are dresses or low-paying jobs.

- I want everything perfect.
- I want designers who aren't burnt out.

You're no good writhing on the floor,
speaking in tongues.

- You're exaggerating, Kay.
- Nancy Schessler, two years ago.

- Somebody's gotta do it.
- Jane, as your boss

and not very close personal friend,

I'm ordering you out to lunch
with your husband,

who I'm sure you've been neglecting.

- Actually, he's been just as busy.
- All the more reason.

Go, drink too much,
rent a motel room.

That's it.
One foot in front of the other.

Hup two, three, four.

- I'm looking for Dr Mancini.
- Mancini. Out to lunch, I think.

The sign-out sheet's over there.

- Albion's?
- Right down the street.

Great cheese bread.

Look, I can't explain it, either.

But all I know is just that there
is this incredible attraction.

And I think I feel
the same thing from you.

- Does Dr Mancini have a reservation?
- Yes.

- Show me his table?
- My God.

- Jane! Over here.
- Thanks.

- Hi.
- Unbelievable.

- Great. How'd you find me?
- Sign out sheet.

- I wanted to surprise you.
- You have. Sit down.

Join us, slip in there.
You remember Kimberly?

- Hi.
- Hi.

We're celebrating
two appendectomies and a bypass.

- Wow, busy morning.
- Yeah.

Wine? Gosh,
this is a special occasion.

- Bring another Chardonnay and menu.
- Sure.

- You don't mind, do you, Kimberly?
- Oh, not at all.

Things were nuts at work,
so Kay suggested I go out to lunch.

- My first lunch out in a month.
- Really? Ours too.

Jane's got a line of swimwear
coming out.

- Great.
- It's not exactly all mine.

But it's a big step up.

By the way, you'd look great
in my one piece.

French cut with a plunging back,
and the colors...

We're getting the material from Bali,
it is unbelievable.

- What's your size?
- Four. Know what?

I just remembered that Levin
wants me in on a biopsy.

- What about your lunch?
- Jane can have it, if you like shrimp.

- Sure, love them.
- Great. Well, enjoy it.

It was nice to see you again.
Michael, I'll see you later.

Oh, thank you.

Sweetheart, it's weird.

I get the feeling that
that woman has no life of her own.

You've got that right.

I was expecting somebody
more dashing, debonair.

They're coming this way
so just smile and kiss butt.

- Hi, Alison.
- Hi, Lucy.

Sorry, I never remember your name.
You're the roommate?

- Billy.
- Billy.

- This is Irving, my fiancee.
- Nice to meet you. Thanks for coming.

- Thanks for having us.
- There's Shirley. Come on, excuse us.

- Shouldn't somebody warn him?
- Did you see that grin? He's in heaven.

- Let's go get a drink.
- Yeah, sure.

- Man, look at this place.
- Hello again, Billy.

Alison. Lucy sure knows
how to throw a party.

Yeah, no kidding.

- Great dress, Alison.
- Thank you.

Yeah, yours too.

- You like it?
- Where's your date, Amanda?

It was so last minute,
I couldn't find anyone.

- Pitiful, huh?
- You want to dance?

Later.

So, wow, you guys came together?

Is this a date, friends?
Or is there something I should know.

He didn't have anything to do, so...

- You know, I'm starving.
- How about a dance?

For old times sake?

- You don't mind, do you, Alison?
- Of course not. Go ahead.

- Nice fit.
- Yeah. It's very flattering.

I wasn't talking about the dress.
I was talking about us.

Oh. Yeah. Right.

All right, I'm confused.

- This guy Billy, he's your roommate?
- Right.

But Amanda has a picture of him on her
desk and refers to him as her boyfriend.

- What is this? I don't get it.
- That is a very good question.

I always wondered if a man was at the
heart of the problems you have with her.

Oh, believe me,
it's nothing that melodramatic.

Come on, Lucy. Mother's here.

I'll be right there, honey.

So he's got a minor mother thing.
No guy's perfect.

It's really not like me
to be this forward. It's just...

...I miss you.

The jumping into bed quickly, moving in
together, of course it would flare out.

Of course we were going to
say things we didn't mean.

But I know you miss me too.

I saw it in your eyes at the office,
under the pretence of protecting Alison.

You can't be happy in that apartment.
In your room, all by yourself...

- I'm surviving.
- We're both surviving, Billy.

That's the problem.
Surviving isn't living, it's existing.

Look, you can close the door
on our romance,

I can learn to live with that.

But please, don't shut me
out of our friendship.

Why would I want to do that?

You don't know how happy
that makes me.

Just to know that you're there.

I'm sorry, I wasn't...

God, why does this keep
happening to me?

- Alison, wait.
- No.

- I'm gonna go home.
- Alison.

I told you, you didn't have to leave.
If you wanted to stay...

I didn't want to stay, or kiss her.
That's what this is about.

I saw you fight her off
on the dance floor, the gazebo.

- You resisted her all over the place.
- Oh, you're losing it.

Next you'll tell me the sex was lousy
and you don't miss it.

- Well, no, the sex was great.
- Exactly my point.

So all it takes is good sex
to keep me happy?

Amanda wiggles her behind
and I come running?

- I didn't think I was implying.
- Where is this coming from then?

- Michael. That's what this is about.
- Michael? What?

Never mind. Forget I said anything.

I wanna know, if I'm being judged
based on someone else.

He's having an affair, OK?
With someone at the hospital.

That Kimberly. And it's not about love
or anything, just sexual desire.

I can't believe I'm telling you this.
Forget I said anything.

- This does not leave this apartment.
- Whatever he does, it's not me, OK?

I'm not so unfeeling I'd just fall into
bed with a woman I'm not in love with.

I know how to say no.

Look at our relationship.
I've slept in a room next to you,

and not once have I acted
on my temptations.

If either one of us
had temptations,

don't you think we
would have acted on them?

Yeah, you'd think so.

- This is a stupid conversation.
- I'll say.

Good night, Billy.

Good night.

No!

Hold him.

Are you OK?

Kimberly.

- What is it?
- I can't do this.

Ever since lunch,
all I can think about is Jane.

Don't. You can't.

- She has nothing to do with us.
- You're married to her!

Sweet, innocent Jane
doesn't deserve any of this.

Kimberly, I'm only gonna say this once.
This, what we have, you and I,

it is completely separate from her.

I don't know. I'm so confused.

OK. Look, you're right,

We shouldn't have let it happen.

But it did happen.

- So, now stopping it, or ending it...
- I just can't.

- Amanda, do you have a sec?
- It can't wait?

I have a presentation in minutes.

I'd like to get it out
before the day begins.

I'm waiting.

It won't work, that's all,
what you're doing.

You think you can smile,
steal a kiss here and there,

and play on whatever it is
you had before.

Great sex, that's what we had before.

And you're wrong when you say
I think I can do it,

because I know I can.
I understand men, Alison.

- Well, last night he came home with me.
- And what did you do once you got home?

Got a dose of what he thinks of you.

You need a dose of something,
but it isn't talk.

And as far as Billy's concerned,
he's as red-blooded as the next guy.

You're wrong, Amanda.
Billy's different.

He's special.

Oh, my God.
You're in love with him.

How sad. Everyone out there
is getting what they want.

Everyone except Alison.

I can't stay with this another second.
I'm going to sh**t, want to come?

No, I better not.
I've got to finish this. Thanks.

So how was Amanda today?

- Better.
- Really?

All quiet at the D & D front.
Has she tried to call you?

No. Thank God. Every time
the phone rings, I duck for cover.

- You sure you don't want to come?
- No, thanks. You go ahead.

- Have fun.
- OK. See you.

OK.

Get a grip, Alison.

Honey, we are too young
to be working this hard.

The price of success.

I'll be done in a little bit,

and then we will have
some dinner and wine.

Look, you've got a deadline to meet.

So I'm just gonna go out,
you know, get some air.

- OK.
- All right? I won't be late.

Can I get a scotch on the rocks,
please?

- What's up, Michael?
- Hi, Billy.

- Where's Jane?
- Home.

It's true what they say about
when it rains it pours.

Last month I didn't have a job,
or a girlfriend.

Now I got a job and a girlfriend
who won't take no for an answer.

You remember Amanda?

It takes everything
out of me to resist her.

Maybe I should just go for it,

satisfy the need and worry
about the consequences later.

Or maybe you should stop
drinking so much coffee at work.

What can I say? I'm a dumper.

Some people, they bottle
things up, I dump.

Go for it.

- It's that easy?
- Sure.

Until somebody finds out
and somebody else gets hurt

and your life falls apart.

I see.

So how much did Alison
actually tell you?

I wasn't going to say anything.

But you're a dumper
and dumpers have to dump.

I couldn't believe it.
I just think that maybe...

Everybody in this world
has different needs,

and has different ways
of taking care of those needs.

- I wasn't...
- Everybody in our building

is too damned concerned
with everybody else's business.

I'm the manager, OK?

I collect the rent
and I keep up with repairs.

You pass that around.

And the rest...

...keep to yourself.

I'm losing my mind.

Since I got back from Seattle
my life's just been insane.

My relationship with Billy
is on this rollercoaster,

and no matter how hard I try to get it
back to the way things were, I can't.

I mean, we have this friendship, right?

And it's a great friendship.

And I guess neither of us
wants to jeopardize that.

But I am thinking
about doing something about it,

but something Amanda said is
getting right smack in the way.

- I wouldn't listen to Amanda.
- But she's right.

I am too timid.

I don't know the first thing
about going after a guy.

The Amandas of the world
blow me out of the water.

- Cos you're always the one pursued.
- Like with Keith.

It is so much easier.
I don't know what to do.

Well, you and Billy
would make a great couple.

All right.

I'm going down there.
He's coming home any second

and I'll just...

Be spontaneous,
don't plan anything.

Exactly. Exactly.

Good night, Jo. Thank you.

Any time.

Sorry. My place.

I guess it hasn't felt that way
since you left.

Listen to me, I'm rambling on.

- What's up?
- Not much. Going out for awhile.

OK.

Billy. I'm sorry,
I know you didn't want me to call.

I'm just so lonely tonight
and I really need a friend.

Could you come over tonight?

I'm here, at our place.

Sorry. My place.

I guess it hasn't felt that way
since you left.

Listen to me, I'm rambling on.

Yeah, come in.

Well, there you go.

All finished.

Let's just skip on down
to the last page here.

Zero dollars owed.

What'd you do?

Well, you remember those four
bikes we sold in December?

Guess what?
We didn't sell them.

We'll sell them this year in June.

And I also wrote off some inventory
that we don't exactly have

and I exaggerated slightly
on our travel expenses.

We didn't go anywhere.

Does the computer know that?
Does the computer care.

- We'll get audited.
- Months from now.

- We'll go to jail.
- Jake.

Your taxes are finished.

You don't owe $ , .
So just sign them and send them,

and we'll get back to some
semblance of a real life.

Jake, this is no time
to grow a conscience.

Everyone cheats on their taxes.

And it's not like
we're not gonna eventually pay.

Sort of a...

...a deferred payment plan.

Our own private deficit.

Where's a pen?

I came right over
when I got your message.

Thanks. Come in.

You sounded upset.

I've just never felt this way.

I used to be happy living alone
and being alone,

but ever since you moved out,
I've realized

how much I've been missing
and what I've been missing.

Having someone to share
your feelings with,

and your fears
and your successes.

I just feel so alone now...

You're not alone.

- Then why do I feel that way?
- I don't know.

Oh, Billy.

Let's go to bed.

Jake Hanson, open up!
We have a warrant for your arrest!

Come out with your hands
above your head!

Stay low.

Don't sh**t!

- What's the matter?
- What time is it?

- Midnight...
- Good, we still got half an hour.

Come on, get dressed!

Alison?

I'm sorry. This couldn't wait.

- Billy, it's the middle of the night.
- I know. I just got home.

What you said about guys,
is not all true.

Sometimes we don't think with our heads,

but we don't always let
our libidos call the sh*ts.

Billy, I know where you were.
I heard the machine.

Yes, she called,
and yes, I went running.

And I could pretend I went as a friend,
because she needed someone to talk to,

- but I knew talk wasn't on her mind.
- All right, stop.

- End of conversation.
- Nothing happened.

I didn't do anything. The opportunity
was there, the temptation, I resisted.

Like Michael can't, and like you think
most men in general can't.

And I did.
I just wanted you to know that.

You were gone for three hours.

Well, after I left her place,
I wandered around the marina for awhile.

You don't believe me?

Billy, I am not blind.
Amanda is very sexy.

You think I made it up
to cover the fact we had sex?

- Well?
- That's insane!

No more insane
than what Michael's doing.

After everything we've been through,
you think I would lie to you?

You have to do something

because she'll tell me
everything the next morning.

This is madness. Honesty
is the basis of our relationship.

I missed it when you were in Seattle.

It's why I'm here, because
I don't have anybody else to talk to.

I'm sorry. I'm out of here.

- Billy.
- Believe whatever you want.

Obviously, this was a big mistake.

OK, let me do the talking, all right?

Hey, evening.

So, this is where I ask if I can
retrieve a letter that I mailed

and you tell me it's against the law.

Once it's in the box,
it's federal property, right?

- That's right.
- Could you be persuaded?

- Or bribed?
- Not likely.

I'm going to be honest with you.

We cheated big time on our taxes
and if we get caught we're dead meat.

We're willing to pay our share.
It's been a tough year

with the big tax bite
and everything, it hurts.

What do you say, give us a
chance to be honest citizens?

I'll need to see some picture I.D.

- Very cool.
- It's those two right there.

- Thank you.
- Thank you so much.

Good night.

Yes.

- Sometimes we really impress me.
- Yeah, well...

Where are we gonna come up
with $ , ?

No idea.
Don't you have a rich girlfriend?

I used to.

Hello, yes, Dr Mancini, please.

- May I say who's calling?
- It's his wife.

I'll see if he's on his beeper.

No, it's important.
If you could just page him.

I'm sorry, Mrs Mancini,
I show him with the day off today.

I can still beep him,
if he's in the area.

No... No, that won't be necessary.

Very well.

Thanks for meeting me.

I figured out

it doesn't matter what I think,

or you think...

...because I'm making this decision
from my heart,

with the part of myself
I keep so well hidden

I can't even find it.

You're what I want, Michael.

Any way I can have you,
for as long as I can have you.

No strings attached.
No commitments.

I think...

...you better kiss me before I make
more ridiculous promises I can't keep.

So tell me something.

Was Billy as exhausted as I was
this morning?

Not at all.

Not this morning and not last night
when he woke me up.

Woke you up?

To tell me about your attempt
to seduce him and how he said no.

He told you that?

Right before he told me
what he thinks of your tactics.

You honestly think he'd tell you
what really happened?

- Yes, I do.
- You don't have a clue.

Amanda.

It's not working. I believe him.

If I didn't last night,
I sure as hell do now.

Call it what you will,
but what Billy and I have

is more than you'll ever have with him.

You know something, you two
may have had a chance at one point.

But whatever chance that was,
it disappeared a long time ago.

What a day.

Must be a full moon.
ER was packed from morning till night.

Babe, open up a bottle of Chardonnay,
will you?

I need a shower.

Hi.

I'm so sorry for doubting you
last night.

I was crazy not to believe you.

As much of a liar as Amanda is,
everything she's said about me is true.

I am too scared to go after
what I want. I'm too timid.

Too self-absorbed.

Too afraid of being hurt.

Too damn blind to appreciate
what's right in front of me.

Good night, Billy.