03x10 - Hawaiian Escapade

[bunniefuu]

What's Fred doing out there?

I don't know, but I don't like it.

[man] Okay, we're gonna make a take.

Stand up. Ride it. That's fine.

Wave, Flintstone. Wave and smile.

Great, Flintstone. Great!

Hey, I'm pretty good.

Careful, Fred! Watch out!

[thudding]

[theme music playing]

[shrieks]

Yabba-dabba-doo!

♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones ♪

♪ They're the modern Stone Age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock ♪

♪ They're a page right out of history ♪

[horn honks]

♪ Let's ride with the family down the street ♪

♪ Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones ♪

♪ Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ♪

♪ A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪

[huffing and puffing]

[comical instrumental music playing]

The barbecue is just about ready, Wilma. Got the steak?

[Wilma] Right here, Betty.

Oh, wait, let me give you a hand with that.

[Wilma] Hope we timed it right.

You know how fussy the boys are, especially about barbecued steaks.

They should be pampered a little. They're pretty good husbands, you know.

And pretty cute, too.

[Betty] Bless their hearts. Wait till they get home and see this.

[Wilma] Yes, sir. If there's one thing our tubby hubbies are experts on, it's smoky steaks.

[cawing angrily]

I do all the work around here, and they get all the steaks.

Wilma, it's 7:00!

[Wilma] Oh, my gosh! We'll miss him. Come on.

Hold on, Larry. I'm coming. Me, too, Larry.

[fast-paced instrumental music playing]

Gee, we just made it in time.

[Hawaiian instrumental music playing on TV]

[ululating]

[Wilma] Isn't he beautiful?

What a man!

[Wilma laughing]

[Betty] Golly. I'd like to see Barney and Fred do that.

Barney and Fred who?

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Bring on the barbecue!

Right, Fred. After a hard day on the golf course, there's nothing like a nice, thick brontosaurus steak.

Cooked by our ever-loving and devoted wives.

Who stay home all day thinking of nothing but how to please us.

Making those steaks tender and juicy.

And succulent.

Drive faster, Fred. I can taste them now.

Wilma! Betty! We're home!

[Barney] Uh-oh. Hey, Fred.

You can bring out the steaks now.

[Barney] Hey, Fred. Uh, look here, Fred.

What the...? How do you like that?

Anybody else would use charcoal, but not our wives!

They make a fire out of old shoes.

Uh, look again, Fred. Huh?

Huh? Oh, no! No!

I hate to say anything, Fred, but I think we were supposed to eat this old shoe.

You mean this was once our tender, juicy...

Wilma!

[Betty] Watch out, Larry! The beasts are after you.

Wilma! [Wilma] What daring!

[Fred] Wilma! [Betty] What bravery!

[Barney] Betty! [Wilma] What muscle!

What about this?

[Wilma] Fred, what are you doing? The program's not over yet.

Wilma, the steaks!

Oh, my gosh. We forgot all about them.

Oh. Fred, I'm so sorry. We planned such a nice dinner.

We were watching Larry Lava and we lost all track of time.

Who? [Wilma] You know.

The star of Hawaiian Spy? Look.

[Barney] Never heard of him. What did he ever do?

[Betty] Isn't he marvelous? How does he do it?

[thudding]

[Barney] That's simple. With mirrors. Right, Fred?

[Fred] Of course. Some Hawaiian spy.

That guy couldn't hurt a fly.

[Wilma] Now, Fred.

Listen, the only thing he has that I haven't is a stuntman.

Of course, I wouldn't need one. You know it, Fred.

We better feed them fast. They're so hungry, they're delirious.

[Betty] Here comes a commercial.

Well, I've got some teratuna at my house. I'll run over and get a can.

Canned teratuna. Some dinner for a hungry man.

Yeah, but they wouldn't burn no steaks if Larry Lava was coming over.

[shushing] There he is.

[Fred] Yeah. Looks like he's bringing his own tuna.

How's that for beautiful?

I ask you, C.W., is that not beautiful?

Not interested in beauty, Goldrock.

Not his, anyway. Interested in ratings.

And if they get any lower, I'll have to go underground to read them.

Know what I mean?

But, C.W., there's a million women in love with the star of Hawaiian Spy.

Right, Larry? How's your fan mail, sweetheart?

Simply exhausting.

[chuckling] Hey, watch it, buster. Those hangnails tickle.

As long as Larry sells your cereal, what do you care?

Do care, Sam. It's a status thing.

I want big ratings!

So don't panic already. Tonight we announce the contest.

In one week, every man in the country will watch this show.

Then you watch those old ratings climb the flagpole!

[snoring]

Gee, I'm sorry. I couldn't find the tuna.

Oh, we'll fix something later.

This is thrilling, Betty.

[Betty] Be careful, Larry. Ooh, watch out!

What's he doing now? [Betty] He's wrestling an alligator.

An alligator? This I got to see.

Oh, brother.

Wrestling alligators.

Anyone knows there's no alligators in Hawaii!

That's a fake alligator.

[Wilma laughs]

Fred, you're jealous of Larry Lava.

[Fred] Ha! That'll be the day.

Fred "Muscles" Flintstone jealous of that Hollyrock phony? Ha!

Barney, who's the best bowler in Bedrock? You are, Fred.

[Fred] Who burns up the golf course? You do, Fred.

Swimming?

[Barney] You're the champ. And don't forget football, Fred.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

And who is Bedrock's heaviest half back?

Who else? Fred "Muscles" Flintstone.

You know, Barney, as long as we're out, let's get something to eat.

I'm with you, Fred. Bye, Muscles.

[both laughing]

You know, they have a right to be mad about dinner.

Let's surprise them with a dessert. Good idea.

Cactus berry pie à la mode ought to make them forgive us.

[Betty] Ready, Wilma?

Yes. Did you find the berries in the freezer?

Yeah, they were hidden behind the peas. Pour the berries, Betty.

I'll turn up the TV so we can hear the end of the program.

I'll put the top layer on, Wilma.

Okay, Betty.

[caws]

What do you want to bet I don't get any pie, either. [caws]

[man on TV] And now, an important announcement.

The makers of Rock Toasties, cereal of champs, like Larry Lava, offer you men the chance of a lifetime.

Sounds like another contest.

Merely write, in 25 words or less, "Why I like Rock Toasties."

Heh. Barney should enter this. He really eats the stuff.

The winner will be awarded an all-expense-paid trip to Hawaii for two.

My goodness.

Plus a paid appearance in one episode of Hawaiian Spy.

So, come on, you armchair athletes...

[chuckles] Sounds like he's talking about Fred.

Write to Larry Lava, care of Hawaiian Spy, and let him know why his cereal is your cereal.

Program's over. I'll turn it off.

[chuckling]

Betty, I just had the funniest thought.

[chuckles] I got the message, too, Wilma.

But we couldn't get them to do it. Not them.

We'll send it to the Larry Lava contest and sign their name.

[laughs] Yeah! Let's do it.

That does it.

[laughs] Read it, Wilma. Okay.

"Dear Mr. Lava, I like Rock Toasties because, as a former champion all-around athlete, I need energy to start my day.

And whether I'm setting new records water skiing, climbing mountains, or wrestling dinosaurs, Rock Toasties never fails me.

"Signed, Barney V. I. Flintstone."

What's the "V.I." for?

Vivid imagination. That covers both of them.

Aren't we the devils?

[both laughing]

I smell something burning.

[in unison] The pie!

Oh, no! Oh, yes!

Boy, Fred, it's sure swell of us to give the girls another chance at barbecuing.

I warned Wilma if she's gonna burn anything tonight it better be her mother's picture.

Steaks are too expensive.

Don't you think we should wait for the boys before we put the steaks on?

Don't worry. I've got everything timed perfectly.

[doorbell ringing]

[Betty] There's someone at the door, Wilma.

[Wilma] Yes, what is it?

This the Barney V. I. Flintstone residence?

No, this is the Fred Fl...

Uh, uh, that is, yes. Yes, it is.

Telegram for Mr. Flintstone. [Wilma] Thank you.

Betty, you don't suppose... Hurry! Read it.

"Mr. Barney V. I. Flintstone."

Congratulations, the C. W. Crater Company is happy to inform you

"that you have won first prize in 'Why I Like Rock Toasties, '" etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Oh, Betty, we're going to Hawaii!

[Betty] Yahoo!

Rockiki Beach, here we come!

[Betty and Wilma in unison] Yabba-dabba-doo!

Oh, well. Somebody wins, somebody loses.

[sniffing]

Hey, Fred, something's burning.

You're imagining things.

Well, maybe so, but I still say where there's smoke, there's...

Fire!

The hose, Barney. Hurry! Hurry! Right, Fred. Here it is.

[tense instrumental music playing]

It's out, Fred.

[Hawaiian instrumental music playing]

♪ Queen Rockymoolah Dinner rocky hula ♪

♪ And all the natives will say ♪

♪ Pass that papaya today ♪

♪ We'll hula and hula With Queen Rockymoolah ♪

♪ And wicky wacky hula away ♪

♪ Wicky wacky hula away ♪

[Wilma and Betty giggling]

They've flipped.

[Wilma] Oh, Fred, Barney, wait till you hear!

Papaya and poi.

Aloha kelakahui!

And Larry Lava too. We're going!

[Fred] Hold it. Hold it! Who's going where?

We entered a contest on Hawaiian Spy.

Signed your names to it and we won!

Just think, an all-expense-paid trip to Hawaii for two!

Yeah, but for which two?

What do you mean, which two? We're all go...

Which two? Let me see that telegram.

"Congratulations. You've won first prize... [mumbling]

"Paid appearance on show." [mumbling]

Uh-huh. Hey, the winner of this contest appears as an actor in one of the shows.

Well, that decides it. Only one of us could do that.

I'm glad you see it my way, Fred. I'll send you a coconut.

Don't be ridiculous. You're no actor, Barney.

Are you? Wait a minute. I've got a solution.

Fred gets the free trip as the winner.

He turns over his salary as an actor to you two, to pay for your trip.

And we all go. Wilma, you're a genius!

[chuckles] Pass the suntan oil, Betty.

We're going to Hawaii.

[chuckling]

Happy flying, everybody. We shall arrive in Hawaii in five hours.

During our flight, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.

[Barney] Oh, I got a question. Yes, sir?

Could I take your picture? Why, certainly, sir.

[Barney] Oh, I'll go get my camera. Now don't go away.

Uh... Yeah, this must be it.

Hey, I don't see no luggage here.

I better go in and ask her another question.

Uh-oh. The door locked.

[tense instrumental music playing]

Hey! Let me in. Hey!

Tickets, please, Mr., uh... Mr...

Flintstone. Barney V. I. Flintstone. I'm a TV star.

Like you to meet my manager, Fred Rubble.

Hey, where's Barney? [whistles] Here I am, Fred.

[Fred] Barney, what are you... [exclaims nervously]

Get in here!

Thanks, Fred. [shudders]

Ooh, it was cold out there.

Now, then, my dear, if you want to see my studio when you get to the island, just ask for me anywhere.

Barney V. I. Flintstone. The actor.

Thank you, Mr. Flintstone.

Hey, I forgot to ask you, Wilma, what's the "V.I." stand for?

Very important. What else?

Well, here we are in Hawaii. Having fun, Betty?

Some fun. I thought we'd rest while Fred worked. Ha!

Well, you know how it is with actors. They gotta keep up appearances.

There's the set. This must be the place.

Places, everybody. You all set, Joe? [Joe] Check, boss.

Get a shot of that big funny-looking thing.

[Joe] Right, boss. How's that?

[director] Let me take a look.

I, uh... I meant the other funny-looking thing, Joe.

[Joe chuckles] Uh, there. There we go.

[director] That's better. sh**t it.

[Joe] I think the other one was funnier, but you are the boss.

I guess I'm working with you on this picture, Larry.

I'm Fred... Uh, uh, Barney V. I. Flintstone.

I'm glad for you.

Look, Betty. There's Larry Lava with Fred.

Isn't he gorgeous?

Oh, excuse me, Mr. Lava. Here's your chair, Fred.

[Fred] Thanks, girl.

I'll never wash this hand again.

It accidentally touched Larry Lava.

How did it feel? Like a star.

You can call me by my nickname, Fred. Must I?

Oh, Larry, in this next scene...

I'm Barney V. I. Flintstone. Your new actor.

Who?

Flintstone, contest winner, Rock Toasties?

Oh. Oh, yes. Tell you what, Flintstone.

You go over there, sit down, and when the dancing starts, turn to the man on your right and say, "Pass the poi," okay?

Now, Larry, in this next scene... Then what do I do?

Then you go home, I guess. As I was saying, Larry...

What's the matter, Fred? How do you like that?

One line they give me. Here. Hold my glasses.

I'll show them what an old pro can do.

Okay, ready, everyone. This is a take. Quiet!

Hawaiian Spy. Take 14. Roll them!

Please, pass the poi. Please.

[director] Action!

[chanting in native language]

Hold it! Hold it!

[director] Cut! All right, who's the wise guy?

But the camera wasn't on me! I know that. It wasn't supposed to be.

We're selling the dance in this shot, you see?

Okay, Joe, let's start again from the top.

Hmm... Selling the dance, eh?

[director] Camera. Action!

[chanting in native language]

Cut! Cut!

[scatting]

Say, uh... [chuckles]

Mr. Flintstone, where in the script did it tell you to dance?

Okay, I don't dance.

How about if I start a fight with the guy next to me at the lauwu?

That's luau.

Tell you what, Mr. Flintstone, you sit down and say your line and I'll see you get a close-up.

A close-up? A close-up.

It's a deal. Makeup! [Wilma] Coming right up, Fred.

Not so hard.

Why did I become a director? I liked being a bookkeeper.

[Fred] Ready anytime you are. Uh, yeah.

Camera. Action. That's a take.

Um, pass the... [stuttering]

The... [stuttering]

[director] What seems to be wrong now?

I forgot my line.

I'm telling you, Mr. Crater, he's got to go.

He's blowing my budget sky-high!

I refuse to act with that, uh...

That, uh... That, uh...

You take the words right from my mouth. He's out! Now!

He stays. Flintstone won my contest and he's staying in my picture.

You should read his contest entry. He's a champion athlete.

Water skis, swims, climbs mountains, wrestles dinosaurs.

So, that makes him an actor?

[Crater] Nope. Makes him a stuntman. Know what I mean?

Oh-oh-oh! C.W. you are a genius!

Call in your writers, Sam.

We're gonna put some stunts in this show that'll make your hair grow again.

So, I looked at the film and I knew we had to give you a bigger part.

You were bound to recognize my talent.

Yeah. Now, remember, you're King Maheahea.

I'm King Maheahea.

You stand proud. Proud.

Wave to your people. The people, I wave.

Get it? Yep, yep. Hi, people!

Say, that's very good, very good. You've got a sense of humor, too.

Okay, Now, let's get out there and do it. Out there?

Yeah. You know, you swim out and ride the wave in.

Oh, but... But... [stuttering] You're a champion athlete, aren't you?

But... But... But... Go, man, go!

What's Fred doing out there?

I don't know, but I don't like it.

Hold on. Here he comes.

[director] Okay, we're gonna make a take.

Stand up. Ride it. That's fine.

Wave, Flintstone. Wave and smile.

Great, Flintstone. Great!

Gee, I'm pretty good. Careful, Fred!

Watch out.

[thudding]

What Fred needs is a good stuntman.

Poor Fred.

I wonder what contest we have to enter to get him off this picture.

Okay, Larry. Let's do it as we rehearsed it.

The beast is tied up good and strong, isn't he?

Yes, Larry. As long as you're in the shot.

Roll them. Action!

That's it, Larry. Make it look real.

[snarling]

Cut! Okay, Flintstone. You're in.

What? [stuttering] What am I in? What do I do?

Quit kidding, Flintstone. You're a champion, aren't you?

Yeah, but... But... But... You wrestle the dinosaur.

Wrestle the dinosaur? [gasps]

I get it, Betty. It's our letter.

They're making Fred do everything we said he could do, that he can't.

So far, Fred's doing all the work. Some he-man, that Larry Lava.

Yeah, I may wash my hand after all.

[growling]

I'm supposed to wrestle that dinosaur?

Okay. Cut her loose. It's a long shot, Joe.

[tense instrumental music playing]

Will you start wrestling, Flintstone? You're wasting film.

Phooey. Some champion.

For me, he's nothing but a financial disaster.

And he's a big sissy, too.

Don't you dare speak of my husband that way. You and your silly old show.

Come on, Fred. I'm not gonna stand around and let them make a fool of you. We're leaving.

[Fred] Help! Get him off of me!

Help! Fred!

Beat it, buster.

[whimpering]

Let's go home, Fred.

Wilma, baby. I'm with you.

Hey, you two, wait for us.

My, that's a pretty table. I hope Fred appreciates all this fuss.

Well, he needs a little morale booster right now.

They didn't treat him very nice in Hawaii, did they?

No, and it was all my fault so I want to try and make it up to him.

Say, your steaks are about ready, Wilma.

Well, I'd better be going. Bye, Betty.

Oh, Wilma, Barney got some beautiful pictures of you and Fred and the dinosaur.

You wanna come over later and see them?

Oh, oh. Oh, honey. No, thanks.

If there is one subject we never mention in this house, you just mentioned it.

[chuckles] Sorry, Wilma. Oh. Don't forget the steak.

[Crater] No, not that part, Goldrock. I want to see what comes next again.

But, C.W., Larry's not in that. I know that, Goldrock.

But we've got to talk about the Rock Toasties image.

Take a look.

[Goldrock] C.W.!

You want a whole show around that fat contest winner?

[Crater] No. I want a show starring his wife.

She's a girl after my own heart. [Fred] Get him off of me!

[Crater] Spunk, energy, fire! - Fred.

Beat it, buster.

Get her on the phone.

Gee, I better take off the steaks.

[phone ringing]

Oh, dear.

Hello? Yes, this is Mrs. Flintstone.

Oh, hello, Mr. Goldrock.

Yes, I'll speak with Mr. Crater.

Gee, I wonder what he wants.

[dramatic instrumental music playing]

Oh, no! Not again!

No, Mr. Crater. I won't change my mind.

Wilma ought to have a long talk with Smokey The Bear.

[Wilma] I'm terribly sorry, but that's just the way it is.

On the telephone. That's the last straw.

We appreciate the trip to Hawaii, Mr. Crater.

She's talking to that sponsor.

I'm terribly flattered that you want to build a show around me.

Build a show around Wilma?

Of course. I'm honored that you and Mr. Goldrock think you could make me a star.

Wilma, they're trying to take you from me.

No, no. The way I look at it, I am a star.

I'm Mrs. Fred Flintstone. And that's good enough billing for me.

No. You'll just have to find yourself another girl with spunk, energy and fire.

Fire! Oh, my gosh, the steaks.

Goodbye, Mr. Crater. Happy ratings.

Oh, Fred, I did it again. I burned your steak.

Yes, Wilma. And you know what I'm gonna do about it?

What? [chuckles]

I'm gonna take you out and buy you the biggest dinner you ever had, you living doll, you.

Fred, I should burn your steaks more often.

Burn steaks. Fight dinosaurs. Do anything you want, Wilma.

As long as you're Mrs. Fred Flintstone, it's okay with me.

Oh... Fred.

[theme music playing]

♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones ♪

♪ They're the modern Stone Age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock ♪

♪ They're a page right out of history ♪

♪ Someday maybe Fred will win the fight ♪

♪ Then that cat will stay out for the night ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones ♪

♪ Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ♪

♪ A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪ Wilma!