03x07 - The Buffalo Convention

[bunniefuu]

Come on, Doozy. Get your cr*cker.

Start the car, Barney.

Out of that car. Out! Out!

Don't be rough with him, Fred.

Now get in that cave.

Okay, Barney. Let's go.

[caws]

[caws]

Yabba-dabba-doo!

♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones They're the modern stone age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock They're a page right out of history ♪

♪ Let's ride with the family down the street Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ♪

♪ A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪♪

[snoring]

[whistle blows]

[man] Mailman!

[Dino yipping]

For Mrs. Flintstone, Dino.

Wilma, here's Dino with a letter. Probably just a bill.

That's all we seem to get. Thank you, Dino.

You can stop with the tail now.

We sure get the wettest mail in town, Betty.

[giggles]

Who's it from? It's a birthday card from Mama.

She never forgets. Ah.

Will Fred remember what day this is?

Fred never forgets my birthday.

Isn't that nice?

You see, my birthday falls on the same day as the big Annual Lodge Meeting.

Oh, yeah.

The big secret meeting of the Loyal Order of Water Buffalos.

That's it. When the mystic imperial Pooh Bah visits Bedrock.

So Fred doesn't dare forget my birthday.

Or else he might have trouble getting to the meeting, huh, Wilma?

Right, Betty. Nothing but trouble.

Wilma, look. The vacuum cleaner.

[Wilma] Oh, no! It's going to sneeze!

[gasping]

[Betty] Hold it close, Wilma.

Oh, dear! Too late, Wilma. Yeah.

[coughing]

When the fallout stops, I'll have to clean the whole house again.

Thanks for the help, Betty.

Now I can get this cake baked before Fred gets home.

What do you think he'll give you?

Just one minute, Betty.

"Add one egg." Okay. One egg coming up.

There. Okay, Betty.

Have you any idea what your present will be, Wilma?

No, but I told Fred I don't want anything like last year.

He gave me a bowling-ball carrying case.

What could you do with that?

Let Fred use it. What else? What a present.

I told Fred, "Some wives have everything. They're hard to buy for."

"But I'm a cinch. I have nothing."

What did Fred say?

He said he'd really shop around and get me something different.

Anything would be different from a bowling-ball case!

Whatever it is, I'll like it, just so long as it's not from that sporting goods store.

They sure have nice sporting goods here.

Let's go, Fred. I'm tired of window-shopping.

Barney, I can't go home without a present for Wilma's birthday.

If I do, she won't let me go to the Lodge meeting.

Okay, let's pick out something here.

Boxing gloves, barbells, 12-pebble shotgun, set of matched golf clubs, sport-fishing outfit.

No, no, no. They're all swell gifts, but I wanted to get her something different this year.

Jewelry would be different, Fred. Jewelry?

Any husband who can't think of a present for his wife always falls back on jewelry.

Because husbands have no imagination, wives get jewelry all the time.

That's right, Fred.

But the wives are pretty good sports about it.

I never heard one complain about getting jewelry.

Jewelry is out. I only got five bucks.

Psst. Hey, bud, come here.

[Fred] You mean m... Me?

Yeah, you. I got something to show you.

[stammers] Well, what do you want to show me?

It's in the bag. What's in the bag?

Take a gander. The only one of its kind.

Fred, what is it? Just a dodo bird.

Not just a dodo. He's a Doozy dodo.

[laughs]

[Fred] A Doozy dodo?

Yeah. Doozy dodos can talk.

Don't let him kid you. Dodo birds can't talk.

Yeah. Dodos can't talk.

This one can, and he's yours for five bucks.

Barney, that's it! Wilma's present.

You got to be kidding. No, this is perfect.

It's just the unique gift I've been looking for.

Why, there isn't a wife in town with a talking dodo bird.

Well, that's for sure, Fred.

If he can talk, you sold yourself a bird, mister.

Okay, Doozy. Say "Fred and Barney."

[caws] Fred and Barney.

You hear that, Barney? He knows us already.

He's pretty smart for a dodo bird.

I'll take him, mister.

I'll take him, mister.

Boy, wait till Wilma sees Doozy. She'll love him.

He's sure a nice present, Fred, I guess. He sure is.

I'm glad we stopped and had him gift-wrapped.

Just think, a real talking dodo.

Wilma will be mad about him.

That sounds like Fred's car now. It is Fred's car.

I'll go out the back way.

No, stay right here, Betty. You're gonna see my birthday present.

Oh, I'd love to, Wilma.

Happy birthday, sweetheart!

Fred, you shouldn't have.

I got the same feeling. He shouldn't have.

I hear something moving. I just can't guess what it could be!

I'll lay a million-to-one on that.

What's Wilma's present, Barney?

[whispering indistinctly]

You're kidding. Honest. Cross my heart. It's a Doozy.

A Doozy dodo?

Opening the package is almost as much fun as seeing the present.

More fun in this case, I venture to say. Barney, shh.

Well, here goes. [caws]

Happy birthday!

Yabba-dabba-doo!

You don't like it?

What's to like about a dusty old dodo bird?

But Wilma, that's a genuine Doozy dodo!

[Wilma] Who needs it?

[Fred] A Doozy dodo is a dodo that talks.

[Wilma] There's no such thing as a talking dodo bird.

Honest, there is. He says my name and everything.

[sobbing]

Really, Wilma. It is a talking dodo.

Fred figured it would be company for you around the house.

Yeah, that's right, honey.

I still don't believe it. Let me hear him talk.

Okay. Where did he get to?

Here, Doozy. Here, Doozy.

[Barney] There he is. On the table. [Fred] Oh, yeah.

Now listen to this, Wilma.

Hi, Doozy-boy. Tell her who I am, kid.

He's thinking it over. You see, he only met me once, you know.

Here it comes. He's opening his mouth.

[yelps]

[Wilma and Betty laughing]

He said it so plain. Yeah. "Fred Flintstone."

He's a doozy, all right.

All right. All right. Laugh if you want to, but this bird talks.

Ow! [Wilma] He bites too.

Oh, dear. I never had so much fun out of a present before.

[Fred] This bird has got to go.

No, he doesn't, Fred Flintstone. He stays.

I want everyone who comes into this house to see the kind of birthday present my husband gave me.

But, Wilma...

And he'll remind you, Fred, not to buy me any more nutty presents.

I wonder how you'd taste barbecued.

Fred, leave my bird alone. Okay. Okay.

You'd better start yakking it up, or I'm in big trouble.

[Barney] Are my horns on straight, Betty? They're fine.

Barney, I hope you come home right after the Lodge meeting tonight.

It's our most important meeting.

The Grand Pooh Bah will be there to give us the exalted word.

Our leader will draw back the veil to reveal the ancient mysteries of Water Buffaloery.

Then, we retire to contemplate.

Contemplate what?

Contemplate a table full of pizza pies and brontosaurus burgers.

[laughing]

Big deal. Go on. Fred must be waiting.

And have fun.

Hiya, Wilma. Is my brother Water Buffalo ready yet?

Almost, Barney. I'll tell him you're here.

Don't bother, Wilma.

I'll summon Fred with the Water Buffalo cry of distress.

[yowling]

[barking]

[crash]

Dino, stop that!

Bad Dino! Bad Dino!

Chewing on Barney's hat. Bad Dino!

I'm sorry, Barney, but Dino thinks these Lodge hats are some kind of strange animal.

What's all the racket? What's going on out there?

Oh, no!

No, Dino! It's me, Fred!

Dino, no! Stop that!

Down, Dino! Heel, boy! Heel.

Dino, let go of Fred's hat!

Now get back to your corner, Dino. Bad Dino. Bad Dino.

[barking]

Getting past Dino with these hats is like being initiated into the Water Buffalos all over again.

But it's worth it. They're a great bunch.

Watch it. The light's turning. I see it.

Hey, uh, these traffic lights have only one flaw, Fred.

What's that?

Whenever a monkey burns his finger, he quits the job.

[monkey screams]

That's another traffic light out of order.

Boy, looks like all the Water Buffalos showed up tonight, Fred.

Yeah. They want to hear what the Grand Pooh Bah has to say.

Look, Fred. The curtain's going up.

Welcome, brother Buffalos.

As you know, every year we are honored by a visit from our exalted leader.

[all cheering]

Okay, okay.

And here he is...

[playing fanfare]

The Grand Pooh Bah!

There he is, Barney. Yeah, our leader.

Greetings, brother Water Buffalos.

I, the exalted Grand Pooh Bah decree that all Water Buffalos shall gather for a three-day convention next weekend at Frantic City!

On the boardwalk at Frantic City! Hooray!

Barney, the girls won't let us go away for three days.

Oh, gee, you're right, Fred, especially to Frantic City.

Now some of your wives might not cooperate by letting you go for three days.

You ain't kidding! That's right.

But everyone is going.

Good old Doc will call on each and every member, and he will prescribe a, uh, three-day rest away from home.

Yabba-dabba-doo! Yabba-dabba-doo!

To the convention we will go! To the convention we will go!

Go, go, go!

Well, old banana snoot, this weekend we'll be taking off for Frantic City.

You said it, Fred.

Strolling the boardwalk, tickling people with our buzz canes.

Yeah. Now, don't forget, Doc will be at my place tomorrow night at 7:00.

So he can send us away for our health.

Our health. Ha, ha! That's a laugh!

Nobody gets healthy at a convention.

[both laughing]

The boys must have had a good meeting last night.

Yeah. They came home laughing and giggling.

When I asked Fred what happened, he said it was a Lodge secret.

How silly.

Say, Wilma, that dodo is sort of cute.

In an offbeat kind of way.

Has he said anything yet?

No. Imagine Fred thinking a dodo could talk.

See you later, Doozy.

I feel guilty about being over here again this evening, Wilma, but Barney insisted.

Fred kept wondering when Barney was coming over.

It looks like those two are up to something.

It sure does.

It's almost time for Doc to arrive, Barney.

Is he a real doctor, Fred?

No. Doc's a nickname. He's really a plumber.

I hear he's been doing a good job springing the boys for the convention at Frantic City.

[Doozy caws]

[Doozy] Convention.

Barney, that bird just talked.

That's good, Fred. It's bad. He said "convention."

That's a pretty big word for a bird, Fred.

You numskull.

He says that word in front of the girls, we're ruined.

Maybe you're mistaken, Fred.

Boy, I hope so.

[caws] Doc is a plumber. Convention. Frantic City.

Barney, we got to lose this bird somewhere.

We haven't time. The doctor should be here any minute.

We're sunk. No, Fred. I got an idea.

We'll feed Doozy some dry salt crackers. Crackers?

Ain't you ever try to talk while eating dry salt crackers?

Hey, yeah.

Hey, Doozy want a cr*cker?

[caws]

Doozy want a cr*cker. Doozy want a cr*cker.

He loves them, Fred!

Doozy want a cr*cker?

Works real good, Fred.

Great. Keep feeding him. Doc will be here any second.

[doorbell rings]

Dr. Ben Casement?

Yeah, from the Water Buffalo Lodge's health plan.

I'm here to give Fred his free medical checkup.

Free checkup? Well, the price is right.

Be my guest, Doctor.

Fred, the doctor from the Lodge is here.

Okay, Wilma.

Hey, come on, Barney, leave the whole box with Doozy.

Okay, Fred.

I'm glad Dr. Casement is giving Barney a checkup too, Wilma.

Fred's been needing one for a long time. Here comes the doctor now.

How do they check out, Doctor?

Well, I'm afraid they both have it.

It? Have what, Doctor?

A bad case of dippy-doodlitis.

Dippy-doodlitis? Yeah.

You must have heard dippy-doodle will get you if you don't watch out.

It sounds familiar.

Is it catching?

It ain't dangerous if patients get a three-day rest away from home. By themselves.

They must have caught it at the Lodge meeting.

All the Water Buffalos have it. Good night, ladies.

Dippy-doodlitis, my foot. It's got to be a gag.

[Fred and Barney moaning]

Look, Wilma. I see them.

Does it hurt much, boys?

Only when we breathe.

We have to get away for three days. Doctor's orders.

Yeah, we know.

Doc Casement gave us the bad news.

Struck down in our prime.

We'll give it a good fight, buddy-boy. Right.

What do you suppose it's all about, Wilma?

I don't know, but let's go along with it.

Something will give them away. It always does.

[laughing]

Smooth, Barney? They don't suspect a thing.

[caws] Frantic City.

Doozy ate up all the crackers.

Get some more and get the car started. We got to ditch this gabby bird.

This ought to be far enough, Fred. We've gone a hundred miles.

Okay, Barney. Stop the car.

Come on, Doozy. Get your cr*cker.

Start the car, Barney.

Out of that car. Out! Out!

Don't be rough with him, Fred.

Now get in that cave.

Okay, Barney. Let's go.

[caws]

I couldn't get a word out of Fred about where they went last night.

When I asked Barney, he just groaned and went to bed.

They're almost ready to leave, and we still don't know what the deal is.

Girls, we're ready to go.

Goodbye, Fred. Get a good rest.

[moaning]

Goodbye, Barney.

[groans]

Goodbye, girls, and don't worry. We'll pull through.

Wilma, we must be out of our minds to let them go gallivanting for three days.

It's my fault, Betty.

I thought something would turn up to expose their scheme.

Wilma, look.

[Wilma] It's Doozy. He's exhausted.

[Betty] He must have been walking all night.

[Wilma] I'll take him in and give him some food and water.

There. How do you feel now, Doozy?

[caws] Frantic City.

Wilma, he talked. Yes. He really is a talking dodo.

And did you hear what he said?

It sounded like "Frantic City." He must have heard it somewhere.

Let's find out what else he's heard.

Come on, Doozy. Say something. [cawing] Frantic City.

We know that one. Let's have another.

Doctor is a plumber. Doctor is a plumber.

Convention. Frantic City. [caws]

Frantic City. Frantic City. [caws]

Yabba-dabba-doo. Convention. Three days.

So that's it, Betty, a three-day convention at Frantic City.

Yeah, and without us, Wilma.

Hello? Mrs. Stonewall?

Did your husband leave this morning for three days?

Bad case of dippy-doodlitis, eh?

Mrs. Stonewall, I have news for you.

Frantic City, huh?

I'll get in touch with the other wives, and when we all get to Frantic City, it'll be a lot more frantic.

Here comes the bus, Betty.

It didn't take the wives long to get organized.

[caws] Organized.

All aboard for Frantic City.

Frantic City, here we come. [caws] Frantic City. Frantic City.

Here we are, Barney-boy, on the boardwalk at Frantic City.

By the shores of the blue Frantic.

[both laughing]

Great convention town. Right, Fred.

We'd better go to the convention hall and get a good seat.

We don't want to miss that opening ceremony.

What's that, Fred? There's this big cake and out of it come all the bathing beauties from the beauty pageant.

All waving their national flags.

Let's go, Fred. I love to see flags waving.

[laughing]

Sorry, this is the rear entrance to the Water Buffalo convention hall.

No ladies allowed.

We heard some ladies were allowed.

Oh. They're just the bathing beauties for the big cake.

They don't count. Bless their little hearts.

[Wilma] Well, they count with us!

[girls scream]

[woman] Get out! Get back!

[screaming]

Those beauties got out of the cake sooner than they expected.

They had lots of help.

[laughing]

Welcome to Frantic City, brother Buffalos.

We will open the convention with our traditional ceremony, cutting the convention cake!

Yabba-dabba-doo! [cheering]

Boy, have we got good seats. Yes, sir. The very first row.

I know you're not as interested in the frosting as you are in the filling.

[laughing]

We need two brother Buffalos to lift the top layer off the cake.

How about you two?

That's us, Barn.

Oh, boy, We get to see the bathing beauties close-up.

Okay, bathing beauties. Come out, wherever you are!

Dippy-doodlitis, eh?

Hi, Betty. Oh, boy.

Come on, Barney, under the boardwalk.

Good idea, Fred. Under the boardwalk.

I wonder where they went. They've disappeared.

[caws] Under the boardwalk. [whistles] Under the boardwalk.

That sounds like Doozy snitching on us.

He's more like a stool pigeon than a dodo. Head for the water, Barney.

Now, where are they? I don't know. I lost sight of them too.

[caws] Head for the water, Barney.

Head for the water. [Wilma] Thanks again, Doozy.

Do you see them, Betty? No, I don't.

Just their hats floating on the water.

[Wilma] They're both good underwater swimmers, but they have to come up sometime. And we'll be right here waiting for them.

How long can we stay underwater, Fred?

I don't know, but if we're smart, we'll set a new world's record.

[Doozy] Set a new world record. [caws]

[whistles] Frantic City. Convention. [caws]

Yabba-dabba-doo. [caws]

♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones They're the modern stone age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock They're a page right out of history ♪

♪ Someday, maybe Fred will win the fight Then that cat will stay out for the night ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ♪

♪ A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪♪ Wilma!