02x13 - The Picnic

[bunniefuu]

[announcer] It's Rockhead and Flintstone way out in front.

Watch out for the water, Fred.

[announcer] Uh-oh! Looks like Rockhead and Flintstone are headed for trouble.

That's what I said. They're in trouble, all right.

But look at them go!

It looks like a substitution, but I don't think the judges will allow it.

Are you still with me, champ?

[snarls]

You're not, are you?

[whistles]

[siren wailing]

All right, Fred. It's up to you.

It's your move. Okay, Wilma.

I'm glad this is the last hand. I'm sleepy.

[Wilma] Fred, Joe and Rita would like to go to sleep. It's your play.

[Fred] Just a minute. I'm thinking.

[Wilma] About what? You have only one card left.

Oh, well, I think it's our trick with my ace.

Sorry, Fred. I trump it.

Where did you get that trump? I counted all 12 out.

Begging your pardon, Mr. Culbertson, but there are 13 trumps in the deck.

Criticizing, always criticizing. Oh, brother.

Fred, here's the score.

Looks like you're the only loser. You owe me 38 cents.

Well, luckily we were only playing for small stakes.

Maybe next time we'll play for money.

[laughs]

Hey, come on. Pay up, Flintstone.

Boy, you sure have a load of beautiful trophies, Joe.

Mm-mm! What I'd give for one of these first-place cups.

You wanna settle now or wait until next week?

"First place in peanut-pushing race.

Loyal Order of Water Buffalos Annual Picnic and Athletic Contests."

Come on, now pay up. It's only 38 cents.

Are you going to the Water Buffalo picnic this year, Rita?

Yes, and I don't know what I'm gonna do if Joe wins any more trophies.

Our house just isn't large enough. Well, I haven't that to worry about.

Fred's trophies are so small, I've been using them for sewing thimbles.

You know, Wilma, it's only because I haven't had a qualified partner.

Besides, it's nothing to laugh about.

"Rockhead and Slate. First place, sack race.

Rockhead and Quarry. First place, weightlifting."

Joe, you must have more first-place cups than any man in the Lodge.

If you haven't got cash, I'll take a 38-cent check.

Who's the lucky man who's gonna team up with you this year, Joe?

I haven't made up my mind yet.

I might have made a mistake. You wanna add it up yourself?

Did you hear that, Wilma? With the picnic only a week off the champ of the lodge hasn't picked his partner yet.

I heard it. Pay up and let's go home.

Who's going to be your partner, Fred?

[Fred] You mean, who's been my partner? Barney Rubble.

Who else?

He's Fred's best friend, and a very nice person.

But as we athletes all know, nice guys always finish last.

[yawns]

Ain't that true, Joe?

You gotta have the kind of drive that you and I have to be a winner.

Wilma, will you stop yakking and let's go home? The Rockheads would like to retire.

I'll never be able to do that on my winnings tonight.

Good night, folks. [Wilma] Good night, Rita.

[Fred] Next week at our house, right?

Hey, you cheapskate, how about my 38 cents?

Fred, that was a mean thing to say about Barney.

Mean? What did I say? You know perfectly well.

You were suggesting to Joe that you'd like to be his partner at the picnic.

Well, that's ridiculous.

Would I double-cross Barney, my best friend, just to win a couple of those great, big, first-place loving cups that would look so wonderful in our living room?

That I could show off to everybody?

That would make me the proudest man in Bedrock?

Now, would I do that? Yes.

[grumbles]

I don't know why you're complaining. You and Barney have won your share of cups.

Ooh! Sure we have.

"Flintstone and Rubble: Third place. Flintstone and Rubble: Second place.

Flintstone and Rubble: Honorable mention."

I gotta move these cups away from the icebox.

Every time I look at them, I lose my appetite.

But you only enter the contest to have fun.

Let the nice guys have fun. I would rather be miserable winning.

Do you have to get so upset? Don't you remember that old saying?

"It's not that you won or lost, but how you played the game."

Fred, you're not gonna eat again?

Just a little snack, honey.

[Wilma] You know what that does to you. You'll dream all night.

[Fred] So I can dream about winning some first-place cups with Joe Rockhead, can't I?

You know, the difference between me and Barney is that he hasn't got what I got right here, the urge to win.

He hasn't got what you got here, either, the urge to eat.

Speaking of winning, did you pay Joe for the bridge game?

No, I must have forgot. But he should have reminded me.

Oh, brother.

[snoring]

[muttering]

He's my husband, and I ought to know. He's a nice guy.

Nice guys finish last.

Fred Flintstone is my best friend. He's the nicest guy I know.

Nice guys finish last.

Fred's a very nice guy. Nice guys finish last.

And the booby prize again goes to Flintstone and Rubble a couple of nice guys who of course, finished last.

No! No! I'm not a nice guy!

I'm a dirty, no-good... Fred, what's the matter?

Are you having a nightmare? What?

[groaning]

Yeah. Yeah.

Must have been that sandwich. What time is it?

Quarter to four, but I think I'm fast.

Good night, Fred. Good night, Wilma.

Hello, Joe?

Hello, who is this?

This is Fred Flintstone, pal. Did I wake you?

It's all right. I had to get up to answer the phone, anyway.

Joe, baby, I just got an idea that's gonna make you do handsprings.

Please, Fred.

Not in the middle of the night.

- Take it easy. Just relax. Relax? You kidding?

Just tell me how this sounds to you.

Ladies and gentlemen may I present the winners of every event on the program, the two greatest athletes ever produced by the Loyal Order of Water Buffalos, Joe Rockhead and Fred Flintstone!

How about it, Joe?

Joe?

He must be doing them handsprings.

Joe?

Joe? Did you get it, Joe? Did you?

Huh, huh? Oh.

What did you say, Fred?

I said, Flintstone and Rockhead, side by side, shoulder to shoulder, nose to nose.

Is it a deal?

Yeah, sure. Okay. Anything you say, Fred. Let me go to sleep.

Sure, partner.

Pleasant dreams.

Yabba-dabba-doo!

[Rita] Joe, who were you talking to?

[Joe] Fred Flintstone.

[Rita] What did he want? [Joe] Nothing important.

He wanted to be my partner at the picnic, and I told him okay.

I told him what? Oh, no!

Hop, two. Hop, two.

I gotta get in shape for that Water Buffalo picnic. Hup, two. Hup, two.

I may be small, but I'm wiry.

[laughing]

Breakfast will be ready in a minute, Barney.

One minute is all I need to show Fred that the Rubble half of Flintstone and Rubble is in the pink and raring to go.

Hurry, dear. We're having scrambled dodo eggs and kippers.

I'll be back in a flash for the fish.

[laughing]

What I'll do is give these second-place ones to Barney when I bring the big ones home.

[Wilma] Fred, if you're ready, I'll put your breakfast on the fire.

How do you want the brontosaurus steak done?

Hold it a minute, Wilma.

I'm going over to tell Barney the deal I made with Joe Rockhead.

Well, it's beyond me how you could do such a thing to your best friend.

What's one thing got to do with the other?

Even though he's known as Second-place Rubble he'll always be my best friend.

Why, there's nothing in this whole wide world I wouldn't do for that dear old pal of mine.

And I venture to say there's nothing he wouldn't do for dear old me.

That's for sure.

[Wilma] I just know he'll feel very hurt when he hears you're teaming up with Joe Rockhead.

Wilma, I'm gonna prove to you that nothing could come between the true-blue friendship that me and Barney have for each other.

Hi you, Barney.

I wanna chat with you.

[thud]

Wilma, I'll take that steak now.

How do you want it? Raw. How else?

Fred!

True-blue friend, my eye.

What a sorehead.

Oh, boy, why do you always wait until Saturday to go marketing?

You know perfectly well why. You get paid on Friday.

[yapping]

Dino, get back in the car.

I'm sorry, baby. You're not allowed in the market.

Never mind whether he's allowed or not. He's gotta learn to obey.

Get in the car, I said.

And don't think that whining is gonna get you any sympathy.

Come on, Wilma.

Daddy's right, baby.

You shouldn't have to be bribed to obey.

Here, boy.

Wait a minute, Wilma. I wanna put his leash on.

Now stop whining and do as I say.

Here, boy.

He'd be better trained, if you didn't spoil him, Wilma.

Yes, Fred.

Watch those a*t*matic doors, Wilma. Yes, Fred.

Oops! I slipped.

Well, nobody's perfect.

I think we've got everything, Joe.

Joe, are you listening to me?

If I disguise my voice I could call Fred and tell him his uncle in Texas just left him a fortune.

That might get him out of town fast.

Will you please try to get Fred off your mind?

Maybe he'll get sick or something.

There's another way I could get rid of him and the jury might call it justifiable homicide.

Every place I go, I hear that voice.

It keeps saying, "Hi you, partner!

Hi you, partner."

Hi you, partner.

There it goes again.

[Fred] Well, this is the big day for the team of Flintstone and Rockhead.

How do you feel?

Sick. And with a little luck, I'll get sicker.

Don't you worry about a thing. I'm in good enough shape for the both of us.

Get a load of this.

Yeah. Quite a load.

Hit me, Joe. Hard as you like.

Mm.

Well, uh... No, I'd better not.

Go ahead. It's like a rock. [chuckles]

Come on. Come on. Afraid you'll hurt your hand?

Well, all right, Fred. If you say so.

Oh, boy. I can't look at this.

[Fred grunts]

[Joe] You sure can take it, partner.

[laughing]

[clicking tongue]

Yeah, never felt a thing. Ooh.

[Fred] Wilma, will you hurry up?

I don't wanna miss that first event. Relax, will you? There's plenty of time.

Just keep warming up.

Need any help, Wilma? Our lunch is packed.

No, thank you, Betty. I'll be finished in a minute.

Did Barney get a partner? He didn't even try.

He said if Fred wasn't his partner, it wouldn't be any fun.

Let's face it. The picnic won't be the same with the boys not talking to each other.

Men. You can't live with them...

[Fred] Wilma. And you can't live...

I sometimes wonder about the rest of that saying.

Ain't it the truth? [laughs]

Remember, no members come through here unless they are wearing the official Loyal Order of Water Buffalo hat.

Hold it, Flintstone.

You know you can't get in here without no official Loyal Order of Water Buffalo hat.

I got it in the back some place, Charlie.

Well, put it on. You gotta wear it. That's the rules.

I can't drive with it on. Rules are rules.

Put a badge on a guy and it goes to his head.

Fred, please.

Smart guy.

Barney, I just won't have you sitting around all day with that long face.

Would my face be any shorter if I stood up?

I'm sure glad the supermarket had a sale on pterodactyl drumsticks, Betty.

You know what a huge appetite Fred has on one of these picnics.

Yeah. I wish Barney would get his appetite back.

Well, I just signed in for the first event. Better clear some room around here.

I'll need some place to put the cups.

I certainly wish you luck, Fred.

[Fred] At least one member of the Rubble family is a good sport.

[Betty] Oh, I'm sure Barney wishes you luck too, Fred.

I'll do my own wishing, if you don't mind.

And it shouldn't happen to a dog.

Well, honey, as the saying goes, I'm off to the races.

I'll be right here when you get back, with the first-aid kit.

Ladies and gentlemen Water Buffaloes.

If you'll kindly take your seats, we shall start the contest.

[cheering]

And the first event is the two-man steeplechase.

The Water Buffaloes are at the post.

Are you ready, gentlemen?

For Pete's sake, Flintstone. We haven't got all day.

Being a champ, Joe. I'm surprised you don't know limbering up when you see it.

There seems to be a slight delay while Fred Flintstone stamps out a fire or something.

We're ready! We're ready, wise guy!

And on your mark.

Get set. Go!

Look at them go.

Go, go, go, Joe.

Hang on, Flintstone, while I throw it into high.

Boy, look at Rockhead and Flintstone go!

That's pouring on the old steam, Joe. Yabba-dabba-doo!

Fred, watch out!

[thud]

Will the contestants for the ever-popular three-legged race, take their places, please?

Hey, Flintstone, are you in this race or aren't you?

Fred, do try to be more careful this time.

Can I help it if some guy plants a tree where you can't see it?

[Joe] Flintstone! Coming, champ.

I'll be rooting for you, Fred.

Flintstone, control your enthusiasm and you'll be all right.

Get it? Sure, champ.

All set, gentlemen?

All set.

You may fire when ready, Grizzly.

On your mark.

Get set.

Go!

It's Rockhead and Flintstone way out in front.

And they're really moving.

Watch out for the water, Fred.

[Grizzly] Uh-oh! Looks like Rockhead and Flintstone are headed for trouble.

Yep. That's what I said. They're in trouble, all right.

Up to their ears.

But look at them go! What a team!

Nothing slows them down.

Wow! What a race this turned out to be!

Uh-oh!

It looks like a substitution, but I don't think the judges will allow it.

Are you still with me, champ?

[snarls]

You're not, are you?

Flintstone, you knot-head!

Our next event, the tug of w*r!

Men, when the whistle goes off, pull like anything.

Of course, you know, the winners will be covered with glory.

The losers, with... Yuck! Mud.

Are you all right?

All right. It's all right.

Dig in, Flintstone, and make sure you got a good grip.

I'll make sure, champ. Champ!

Of course, you know, Flintstone, this dissolves our partnership.

So, what if Joe got another partner for the big race?

You can get another partner too.

After what happened, who would be stupid enough to team up with me?

I might be stupid enough.

See, Fred? Go ahead, ask Barney. No.

Just because I lost a few races don't mean I lost my pride.

Let him ask me. What about my pride?

I'm a person too.

[Betty] You can swallow your pride for a minute.

How come it's always me that's gotta swallow my pride?

Why don't he swallow it for a change?

Ask him, Barney. Okay. Okay, I'm asking.

Fred, he's asking. Ask him what he's asking.

What are you asking, Barney?

[Barney] Will he be my partner for the big race?

Will you be his partner for the big race?

Well, okay. Let's go.

Don't forget, it ain't how you play the game.

Just win. I'm with you, Fred.

Here we are, folks.

The final event of the afternoon, the wheelbarrow race.

And then we eat!

Okay, you Water Buffaloes.

May the best team win.

On your mark.

Get set.

-Go!

They're off! They're off!

Hold tight, Barney-boy! Hold tight!

That first-place cup is practically in the bag.

Right, Fred.

I can just see that cup now. Rubble and Flintstone, the new champs.

What do you mean, "Rubble and Flintstone"? It's Flintstone and Rubble.

Okay, Fred. Have it your way. Come on, pal.

I got the urge to win and you're just the guy that can do it.

Right, Barney. And all you have to do is enjoy the scenery.

Fred, stop talking and start running.

Joe Rockhead and his new partner Sam Slate have moved into the lead.

But here comes Flintstone and Rubble.

Let's go, Fred. I'll show that Rockhead guy a real champ.

Geronimo!

Wow! Flintstone and Rubble are gaining fast.

They're right behind the leaders and driving hard.

Come on, Fred! Come on, Barney!

[panting]

Oh, no. Oh, no.

They're slowing down.

Step on it, Fred. I am, Barney. I am.

It looks like the Flintstone-Rubble team are out of the race.

What's the matter, Fred? I ran out of gas, Barney.

Well, don't worry, Fred. I got that urge again.

What urge? The urge to win.

Look, Wilma, the boys are back again. Yeah, and they've changed places.

Hang on, Fred.

I remember what you said, "It isn't how you play the game as long as you win."

Right, Barney.

There's teamwork for you.

Flintstone and Rubble are moving ahead again.

They're gaining on Rockhead and Slate.

Boy, what a race!

Come on, Barney! Yahoo, Fred!

Now what's wrong? Something's wrong with the wheelbarrow.

Hey, Barney, the wheelbarrow's falling apart.

Hang on, Fred.

Uh-oh! It looks like Flintstone and Rubble are in trouble again.

They're dropping way behind.

No! No! They're gaining again. Boy, what a team!

Just hang on to the wheel, Freddie-boy.

And here comes Flintstone and Rubble. They're passing Rockhead and Slate.

Hello, Joe.

Goodbye, Joe.

It's a tremendous effort by Flintstone and Rubble... the new champions!

Yahoo!

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Wilma, I've been thinking it over, and you're absolutely right.

What's that, Fred? Barney deserves this cup more than I do.

I'm going over and giving it to him.

That's wonderful, Fred. Hey, Barney!

At last peace reigns over our households once more.

To the winner of the wheelbarrow race and new champ, Barney Rubble.

Oh, You keep it, Fred.

Oh, no. To the victor belongs the spoils. So here's the spoils.

Nope. You always wanted it, Fred.

Take it, I said. Keep it yourself.

Take it, or I might change my mind.

It's like the sound of music. [Barney] I told you, I don't want it.

Like old times again.

[Wilma] Excuse me. There's something I must get in the kitchen.

Oh, sure, Wilma. Mind if I tag along?

Not at all, Betty. [Fred] Are you gonna take this cup?

[Barney] Nope, and definitely nope!

Ah!

What a beautiful steak, Wilma. How does Fred like it?

Usually medium.

If you don't take this cup, so help me...

[Fred] Wilma!

But lately he's been taking his steak raw.

Here you are, Fred.

That Barney.

Remind me never to speak to him again.

[moans]

My eye.

Wilma!

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma, open the door!

Wilma!