02x06 - The Rock Quarry Story

[bunniefuu]

You're going to have to excuse me.

My girlfriend and I are going to Central City to see our very favorite film star, Rock Quarry.

[screams]

It's him!

Fred! Fred! It's him! It's him! Do you know who that is?

That's Rock Quarry out there!

[theme music playing]

[whistles]

[siren wailing]

Wowee!

Did you read this, Wilma? Read what?

Rock Quarry will be in Central City tonight. Listen.

"Rock Quarry, famous film star makes personal appearance at Central Theater tonight."

Rock Quarry, my very favorite movie star.

I thought Gary Granite was.

Oh, he is, he is. He's another of my very favorites.

I've got a lot of very favorites, like Jimmy Slagney, Tab Boulder...

Oh, lots of them.

I have, too, but Rock is my very, very favorite.

Betty, what do you say, after dinner we drive over to Central City and see Rock in person.

Oh, wonderful, we'll rush the boys through dinner and take off.

I never have to rush Fred through dinner.

He eats as if food is going to be declared illegal any minute.

I'll go home and start Barney's dinner right away.

I'll see you later, Wilma. Oh, Betty!

Uh-huh? Don't forget your autograph book.

Don't think I won't bring one. [giggles]

[sighs]

I can't believe it.

Rock Quarry. So near.

Just over in Central City.

[women chanting] We want Rock!

We want Rock!

We want Rock!

We want Rock!

We want Rock!

Well, I don't understand why you're beefing, Rock.

Everything is going great.

Oh, sure.

It's bad enough I have to act in the kind of pictures you get for me at Lemon Studios.

But now I've to go out on these personal appearance bushwhacking junkets... to help sell them.

So what's wrong with that?

I'm sick of being mauled by crowds. Everywhere I go, I'm mobbed.

I never have a minute to myself.

Signing autographs, shaking hands.

I'm fed up with all this adulation.

I have no privacy.

I can't even look out the window. Watch.

[crowd cheering]

[woman 1] Hey, Rock! I love you, Rock!

[woman 2] Blow me a kiss, Rock!

[woman 2 moans]

See, what I mean? I'm tired of all this.

But you're not tired of picking up that fat check every week.

You're not tired of that heart-shaped swimming pool in Hollyrock.

Maybe you'd like to go back to being just Gus Schultz, attendant in that gas station we found you in, hmm?

But, Rock-baby, look at me. We're fighting.

That's not like us.

I love you like a son.

A son? Better than a son.

Who has a son that grosses four million a picture?

Rocky-baby, take a nap.

You've got a big night ahead of you. Seven shows.

Think of me as your friend, Rock, not as the head of a studio that owns your long-term ironclad contract.

[laughs]

I'll see you later, Rock-baby.

Oh, boy. The star system.

He can say what he wants but at least at the gas station, I had friends.

They liked me because I was just plain Gus Schultz not because I was Rock Quarry, the movie star.

I got to get out of this rat race. I got to get away from all this.

I'll get in the car, drive to some small town, lose myself.

There's got to be some place where people don't know me, some place where they'll talk to me without asking for my autograph.

Hello, Lemon Studios? Rock's gone.

That's what I said. He disappeared, ran away.

I want no publicity on this, understand?

On this end, I'll say he had to rush back to Hollyrock for retakes.

You know how to handle it out there. I'll keep in touch. So long.

Oh, boy, how could Rock do this to me?

It doesn't look good when a star runs away from his own picture.

Hey, Fred, Fred, there's a boulevard stop coming up.

Barney, my eyesight is as good as yours.

And I can see that stop sign as plain as you.

So I'll ask you to stop being a back-seat driver or...

[crash]

What's the matter with you, mister?

Why don't you put your hand out when you make a left turn?

A left turn? I was going straight.

Look, buster, you're at fault, and I can prove it.

I got a disinterested witness here, my neighbor and best friend, Barney Rubble.

Tell him, Barney buddy, tell him just how it happened.

You drove through a boulevard stop, Fred, and hit that man's car.

What did I tell you? Right through the boulevard stop and...

And you hit that man's car.

I don't understand.

It wasn't there yesterday. [chuckles]

It could happen to anyone.

Think nothing of it. I'll forget about it if you will.

Oh, well, okay. but drive a little more carefully next time, will you, bud?

Sure. And to show you there's no hard feelings, join me in a cool drink at the Bedrock Juice Bar.

Well, thanks. That sounds great.

You must be a stranger around here, fella.

I've never seen you before. What's your name?

Uh, uh...

Gus, Gus Schultz.

He doesn't know me. I didn't think it was possible.

This is great.

Uh... And what is your name, mister?

I'm Fred Flintstone and this is my ex-buddy and false friend, Barney Rubble.

You went right through the stop sign.

I'm in the market for a new best friend.

Are you going to be in town long, Gus?

Right through the stop sign! Pow!

You'll get "pow" if you don't keep quiet.

Sorry, Gus. What were you saying?

Well, I just quit a job, and I could stay here.

It seems like a nice, friendly little town.

Friendly? Gus, I'll show you how friendly it is.

You're coming home with me for dinner.

Stop sign. Car.

[mimics engine revving]

Pow!

Well, that's the way it happened, Fred.

Now what's keeping Fred?

The one night I want to do something, he's late.

Well, I'm going over to see Rock Quarry with Betty, no matter what.

[phone ringing]

Now, who could that be?

Hello? Oh, it's you, Fred. Where are you? Why aren't you home yet?

Listen, honey, have I got a nice surprise for you.

I'm bringing home a friend for one of your wonderful dinners.

[Wilma yelling indistinctly]

Is everything all right, Fred?

Sure. She said she'd be delighted.

Yeah, Wilma. Steaks will be fine, sweetheart.

We'll be home in 10 minutes, dear.

You know, Fred, maybe you better not take me home.

Are you kidding? Wilma's anxious to meet you. Let's go.

Oh, okay, if you say so.

[Wilma continues yelling]

Oh, boy.

You'll like Wilma, Gus. She's a lot of laughs.

You're sure she won't mind?

Listen, Gus, we've got the continental system in my house.

The man is boss.

It's my domain, and I am king.

You ought to be, Fred. You've been crowned enough times.

[laughing]

Wilma, we're home. Come on out and meet my friend Gus.

[Wilma] Will you step into the kitchen for a minute, Fred?

Sure, honey. Excuse me a minute, will you, Gus?

Oh, sure. Go ahead, Fred.

Ah! This is it. A real home.

Not like those ornate, plushy hotel suites.

This is basic, a man's castle, his loving wife.

[Wilma] I don't care, Fred Flintstone.

I'm not cooking meals for every character you meet at juice bars.

Shh! Gus will hear. Oh, Gus, schmus. I just won't do it.

Please, Wilma. Nothing fancy. Gus will take potluck.

[Wilma] Potluck, huh? Okay, here, the pot!

[thud]

Now go out there and tell Gus to get lost.

Gee, I can't do that, Wilma.

Well, I can. I'll have no problem at all.

Oh, what's the matter with me?

I'm being downright rude to Fred's guest.

I'll explain the situation to him.

And he and Fred can fix their own dinner.

Mr. Schultz, you're very welcome to stay for dinner but you're going to have to excuse me.

My girlfriend and I are going to Central City to see our very favorite film star, Rock Quarry.

Well, that's quite all right, Mrs. Flintstone.

[screams]

It's him!

It's him! It's him!

Fred! Fred!

Fred! Fred! It's him! It's him!

Do you know who that is? Do you know who's in our house?

Of course I know who it is. It's Gus Schultz.

Gus Schultz?

Fred, that's Rock Quarry out there!

And who is Rock Quarry?

Who is Rock Quarry? Who is Rock Quarry?

Why, Rock Quarry is one of the biggest stars in Hollyrock.

[laughs]

That's a laugh.

A big Hollyrock star has nothing else to do but come here for dinner be insulted by his host's wife, and eat cold cuts all because he has no place else to go.

He can't get a date.

So he has to spend the evening with the Fred Flintstones at their Bedrock mansion.

Makes a lot of sense, don't it? No, it doesn't.

Wilma, you read so many movie magazines, you think everybody is a star.

Now go on out and chat with Gus while I fix us some cold cuts.

Okay, Fred.

Gus, did anyone ever tell you, you look like Rock Quarry, the movie star?

Yep. There must be a slight resemblance.

A couple of people have mentioned it.

[knocking on door]

Yoohoo, Wilma, I've got my autograph book. Let's go.

[Wilma] Okay, Betty, but first, I want you to meet someone. Come on in.

Who is it, Wilma? A new friend of Fred's.

This is my best friend, Betty Rubble.

How do you do, Mrs. Rubble? Huh?

Aah! It's him!

It's him! It's him!

Wilma!

It's him!

Hey, what's the matter with her?

[Betty] Wilma, Wilma, come in here, quick.

That's the meanest thing I ever heard of, Wilma.

You have Rock Quarry over here all to yourself and you don't even call me.

Betty, he is not Rock Quarry.

What do you take me for, Wilma?

As if anybody could fool me about Rock Quarry.

Well, I'm going to get his autograph, and then I'm going home.

Barney and I are packing up and moving from this double-crossing neighborhood.

And I thought you were my friend. Some friend!

[laughing]

Would you sign my autograph book, please?

Why, certainly, Mrs. Rubble. It would be a pleasure.

[giggles]

Here you are. Oh, thank you. I'll always treasure this.

"To Betty Rubble, from Gus Schultz."

[sighs]

Gus Schultz? You are Gus Schultz?

That's my name, Mrs. Rubble.

He had me fooled for a minute, too, Betty.

And if we're going to see the real Rock Quarry we'd better get started for Central City.

Gus Schultz. Can you imagine?

Enjoy yourself, fellas, and just leave the dishes.

Ta-ta!

I've never seen the girls act so goofy before.

I guess they're keyed up about going to see what's-his-name, the movie star.

Yep. I guess that's what it is.

Hey, Gus, instead of eating cold cuts, what do you say we grab a bite out, like, down at the bowling alley.

Swell. And maybe we can bowl a few games.

Okay. Loser pays for dinner and bowling.

What's your average? Well, not too hot.

The last league I bowled in, my average was 197.

A 197?

Well, I say we'll have to get Barney to come along with us.

I thought you were mad at him.

Mad at Barney? No. How could I stay mad at him?

He's the only guy I know I can beat every time at bowling.

And a bowling pigeon is hard to find.

Hey, Barney, get your bowling ball. We're gonna roll a few games.

Quiet, Fred. I got an important call going here.

Oh, I'm sorry, Barney. Take your time.

Excuse me, Joe. Someone just walked in.

Like I was saying, we were driving along and we come to this boulevard stop, see?

But do we stop? We do not. Fred drives right through the stop sign.

And pow! Right into another car.

Yeah, that's right. He didn't even slow down.

Just pow! Right smack into another car.

Well, I gotta go now. Be seeing you, Joe.

My regards to the missis. So long, Joe!

Come on, Barney. You're holding up the game.

Okay, okay, Fred. Don't rush me.

Huh?

Oh, no!

I got nice action on that one, right, Fred?

Oh, brother. Another stylist.

Nobody just plain old bowls anymore.

My hook is working pretty good today.

And so is your luck, buster.

What's the matter, Fred?

My finger must be all swelled up. It's stuck in the ball.

Oh, I'll get it out, Fred. A little tap with this will free it.

Well, be careful. Don't nick the ball. I'm still paying on it.

Hold still, Fred.

Works every time, Fred. Why, you...

Whale on the beach! Whale on the beach!

Whale on the beach! [laughs]

[laughs snidely]

Whale on the beach! Whale on the beach!

Oh, boy. Someday.

Someday he's going to go too far.

Look, Wilma, that mob of women in front of the theater.

They're mad about something. What's going on?

It sounds like a revolution. Let's go see.

Don't let them get away with it. We got our rights.

What's happening, miss? They called the show off, that's what.

And we women are going to do something about it.

What're you gonna do?

We're gonna tear the building down brick by brick.

Okay, girls! Charge!

Here they come. Now hold tight.

[woman] Let us in! Let us in!

[whimpering]

Oh, they're going to get us, B.L.

Oh, they'll overrun us with their bouffant hairdos and their long, painted nails.

[wailing]

Charlie, Charlie, don't. Get a grip on yourself.

Charlie, pull yourself together, man.

This is no time to go to pieces.

[shouting and blubbering]

Thanks, B.L., I needed that.

We'll go down together like heroes.

We won't have to. I've got an idea.

Hold it! Hold it out there!

I send in a couple of representatives and I'll explain what happened.

You mean Rock Quarry was suddenly called back to Hollyrock?

That's right.

He had to make some stupendous retakes.

That's why he's not here.

How do we know you're telling the truth?

I'll prove it to you. I'll let you talk to him yourself.

Operator, let me talk to Rock Quarry at the Lemon Studios in Hollyrock.

Person-to-person.

Person-to-person call for Rock from Central City.

Get that promotional record from his last picture, quick.

All set, boss.

Hello from Hollyrock.

This is Rock Quarry speaking to you.

It's him, Betty.

- If you liked me in my last picture... We did, Rock.

- You'll love me in my new picture, Rock with Rock.

[both] Ooh!

That sounds great.

I hope you go to see my new picture when it plays at your local theater.

We will! We will!

This is Rock Quarry, saying a fond farewell from Hollyrock.

[both sigh]

Goodbye, Rock.

There, you see. I told you he was in Hollyrock.

Ladies, Ladies, I'm talking to you.

After talking to Rock Quarry, who wants to talk to you?

We had a good evening, fellas? Yep. Swell.

And tomorrow we'll sh**t some pool. That ought to be a lot of fun.

Maybe he doesn't know how. [Fred] Yeah, I know.

And we'll get him into the Secret Order of the Dinosaur Lodge next week.

Oh, uh, yeah, sure.

Oh, boy, this "being real folks" is not for me.

I'm a star, I miss the crowds, the adulation, the autographs, the smog, the Hollyrock parties.

That's my real life. I'll tell Fred and Barney who I am.

They'll get a big kick out of it.

Fellas, I have a surprise for you.

Wilma and Betty were right. I'm really Rock Quarry.

[both laughing]

Did you hear that, Barney? Gus thinks he's Rock Quarry.

Look, fellas, don't you know me? I really am Rock Quarry.

Don't you want my autograph? No. Do you want mine?

[laughing]

I am a big star, loved by millions. Honest, fellas.

[Fred] Look, Gus, you got your laugh. Let it go at that.

Fred, we're home. And you'll never guess who we talked to.

All the way from Hollyrock.

From Hollyrock? Who?

[Wilma] Rock Quarry. Rock Quarry?

You couldn't have.

Listen, Gus, our wives just said they talked to him.

[Rock] But that's impossible.

Why do you say it's impossible, Gus? Because I'm Rock Quarry.

[both laughing]

I am! I am honest, I am!

Barney, this guy's off the deep end. We got to get him out of here.

I hate to say this, Gus, but you better leave.

What? You're telling me to leave?

A movie star may get thrown out of nightclubs but never out of people's homes.

Oh, yeah? Well, you're gonna get thrown out of here.

Wait, I can prove I'm Rock Quarry.

Wait, let him prove it, Fred. That should be fun.

Now, you girls have seen all my pictures and you know all the parts I've played.

I'll go into this room and come out in one of my favorite roles.

I hope I can keep a straight face. Me, too.

[Rock] You remember my big hit, Dr. Jekyll's Hide?

Well, get a load of this.

[roaring]

Great, isn't it?

[all laughing]

[Wilma] Oh, Gus, you k*ll me.

Okay, okay, maybe you didn't see that picture but you won't miss the next one.

Do you remember The Dancing Playboy?

I can't stand it. Stop laughing! I am Rock Quarry, honest.

Do you remember Fast-Draw Rock, my great Western?

Well, watch this.

Pow. Pow!

[all laughing]

[Wilma] Stop it! I can't stand it.

Hey, Gus, I bet I'm faster than you.

Pow. Pow! [laughing]

Oh, boy, what a kook. I am not a kook.

[Fred] All right, that does it, Schultz! Out! Out! Out!

I'll help you, Fred.

I tell you, I'm Rock Quarry. I am Rock Quarry!

I am Rock Quarry.

I am so Rock Quarry.

Rock, Rock-baby!

Oh, we've been looking all over for you.

Where you been? You know me, don't you, B.L.?

[B.L.] Of course, baby. You're Rock Quarry, the great Hollyrock actor and here comes your fans.

[women screaming]

[woman 1] There he is, girls! There's Rock Quarry.

[woman 2] Give me your autograph, Rock.

I love you, Rock. Here you are, miss.

Oh, sign mine next, Rock. I was here first.

Gee, you're great, Mr. Quarry.

Wilma, Gus Schultz is Rock Quarry!

And he's driving away! Come back, Rock!

We believe you! We believe you!

Wilma, we had Rock Quarry right here all to ourselves.

And he'd still be here except for... Fred and Barney.

Wilma, what are you doing? Put me down!

Hey, what did I do? What did I do?

Why did the girls throw us in the pool, Fred?

I don't know, but something tells me we ought to stay here for a while.

Aren't we the ones?

Once in our lifetime we meet a movie star and we kick him out of the house.

We should have our heads examined.

[doorbell rings]

I'll see who it is, Betty. Okay, Wilma.

Hey, pardon me, miss. I'm looking for my friend, Rock Quarry.

I heard he was here.

My name is Gary Granite.

[Wilma] Gary Granite?

Betty, Betty, you'll never guess who's here.

Come in, Mr. Granite. Come in.

Oh, it's wonderful talking to you like this, Mr. Granite.

It's my pleasure, ladies.

We had Rock Quarry here, and we didn't even know it.

Oh, can you imagine?

[ringing]

Flintstone residence.

Yes, he's here. It's for you, Gary. Here.

Hello, Ingrid.

Huh?

I'm sorry, I can't. I'm all tied up at the moment.

He's not kidding, Betty, and it could be for a long moment.

Right. We're not letting this one go.

[laughing]

[theme music playing]

Wilma!

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma, open the door!

Wilma!