02x05 - Fred Flintstone Woos Again

[bunniefuu]

Looks like Wilma don't scare easy, Fred.

We've been waiting 15 minutes, and she hasn't come looking for you yet.

Poor Fred. He's still out there waiting for you to run over and make up.

Good. I've got an idea that's going to make Fred a model husband.

[horn honks]

Buddy, is this where Wilma Flintstone lives?

[Fred] Yeah. Thanks a lot.

Who's that, Fred? Search me.

Whoever it is, he's got a box of candy and some flowers with him.

Hey, you! Just where do you think you're going with that candy and those flowers?

I'm gonna give them to Wilma Flintstone, if it's any of your business.

I'm making it my business, and you're not giving them to Wilma Flintstone.

Says who? Says me!

[theme music playing]

[whistles]

[siren wailing]

It's still light out. If we hurry, we can get an hour in at the driving range.

Right, Fred. I'll ask Betty if I can go.

What do you mean ask her? Tell her.

I'll meet you here in five minutes.

Okay, Fred.

Wilma! Get the golf clubs ready!

Me and Barney are going to hit a bucket of balls before dinner.

[whimpering then yapping]

[Wilma] All right, Dino.

I'll open the door for you.

Go ahead. Say hello to Daddy.

[laughs]

Fooled you that time, Dino.

[barking]

Wilma, Wilma! Do something.

All right, Dino. Daddy loves you too.

Let him get up now.

Bowling ball, tennis racket.

All right, all right, Wilma. Where are they?

Where's what, Fred?

My golf clubs. That's what.

They're exactly where you dropped them last time you played golf under the dining room table.

Oh, uh...

Thanks.

Fred, I just realized why I married you.

Yeah? Why, honey? You're so thoughtful.

You wouldn't dream of interrupting me when you come home from work by kissing me or saying hello.

Now what's bugging you?

Wilma, if you've had a hard day at the laundromat don't take it out on me.

Oh, please, forgive me. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

Okay, but watch it.

I'll be back in an hour.

Goody!

That'll give me just enough time to scrub the floor and dust the furniture while I keep your dinner warm.

Sounds like a good idea, Wilma.

One more thing, darling.

Wilma, it's getting dark. What do you want?

Would you like your dinner served in front of the TV when you get back?

Okay, that way I can listen to the news while I eat instead of reading the paper.

Wonderful!

Now I have one final thing to say, Fred.

Come on, Wilma! Come on!

You can't drive golf balls in the dark. What is it?

One of these days, Fred Flintstone, you're going to come home from work and yell "Wilma!"

But Wilma won't hear you because Wilma won't be here.

I know what's wrong.

You're irritated because you had an argument with the butcher, right?

Wrong. Then the grocery boy, right?

Wrong. Well...

Look, we'll talk about it when I get back.

Really, Fred? You mean, we'll sit around after dinner and talk like we used to when we were first married?

That argument with the butcher must have made you lose your memory.

You know tonight's the semifinals in the bowling tournament.

I give up.

Women! Sheesh!

Let me have a ball, Barney.

Sure, Fred. Here you are.

How, uh, do these a*t*matic tees work?

You just step on that lever by your foot, Fred, and the tee will pop up.

You mean like this?

Hey, that's pretty good, Barney.

Beats putting a new tee in the ground all the time.

Fore!

Boy, what a shot! Let's see you top that one, Barney!

[Barney] Okay, pal.

Keep your eye on the ball, Freddie-boy.

Well, it's a living, ain't it?

Not bad, Barney. A few more like that and you'll have the old arm in shape for bowling tonight.

Uh, I ain't going tonight, Fred. I'm staying home with Betty.

What's the matter? She sick or something?

No, Fred. I've just been going out too much lately.

I think you ought to stay home too.

You mean give up my bowling night? You must be the one that's sick.

Betty told me that Wilma is very upset with you, Fred.

Upset with me? What for?

I've been so busy every night, I hardly even talk to her.

Maybe that's why she's upset, Fred. You take her too much for granted.

Maybe I have been neglecting her a little lately.

I'll straighten it out when I get home.

Attaboy, Fred. She'll feel better.

Yeah. I'll pay her a few compliments, flatter her a bit, tell her the usual things a wife likes to hear.

What's that, Fred?

You know, how great she cooks, how nice she cleans the house, stuff like that.

I don't think it'll work, Fred.

Are you kidding? All wives love to hear their husbands tell them how hard she works around the house.

We better get going. I'm due at the bowling alley in an hour.

Fred, I've been thinking. Yes?

I've been thinking, Fred, Wilma's mad at you because you don't take her anyplace anymore.

Barney, I'd be glad to take her places, but she don't like bowling she can't play golf, and you know the fellows don't allow women in the pinochle game.

Well, how about taking her some place she'd like to go, Fred?

Wilma's always telling Betty what a wonderful time she had at Rock Mountain Inn where you once took her.

I had to take her there. It was our honeymoon.

Okay, Fred. I was just suggesting.

Hey, I got an idea.

Got a great idea. Yeah, Fred? What?

I could take her there on a second honeymoon.

Now you're talking, Fred. She'll love that.

Yes, we'll go this weekend.

I've got to hand it to you, Fred.

When you get an idea, you don't waste any time.

You know, Barney, there's one thing I'll always remember about our honeymoon.

Oh, what's that, Fred?

The great fishing they had at the Rock Mountain Inn.

[laughing]

I tell you, Betty, I just didn't believe it until I heard him call for reservations.

Yeah. Wasn't it sweet of Fred to talk Barney into taking me, too?

The old dear. I'll never doubt Fred's love again.

After all, how many husbands are romantic enough to take their wives on a second honeymoon?

Oh, gee, Fred, I feel kind of funny going along on your honeymoon.

Why should you, Barney-boy? After all, you're my best friend.

Besides, Wilma and Betty will have a ball together while we go fishing.

There it is, Wilma. The old Rock Mountain Inn.

Hasn't changed a bit, has it?

[laughs]

Oh, I wonder if the desk clerk will remember us.

After 15 years? No.

Well, it's you again! How do you do, Mrs. Flintstone?

You look exactly like you did about 15 years ago, wasn't it?

[laughs]

That's right, and thank you for the compliment.

Yes. But who's the fat guy with you? I don't remember him.

Fat guy? Why, you... I'm Fred Flintstone, her husband.

Indeed. My, my.

Well, Mr. Flintstone, you look like you've been living off the, uh...

[laughs]

Fat of the land for 15 years.

One more crack like that and you'll be living with a fat lip.

Let's cut out the comedy and show us to our rooms.

You made reservations, of course. Of course.

Mr. and Mrs. Flintstone and Mr. and Mrs. Rubble.

Flintstone and Rubble. Yes, and are you lucky!

You got the last two cottages in the place.

The last two? You only got two cottages.

Yes. How about that?

I don't know what it is, Fred, but there seems to be something missing.

There's the same tree. [Fred] Yes, ha, ha.

I carved our initials into it.

And there's the same garden. I picked your first bouquet from there.

[Wilma] And you paid a fine for picking the flowers Everything looks the same.

It just doesn't feel the same. It feels the same to me.

The only thing that's different is we stopped at the Justice of the Peace first to get married.

That's it! That's what's missing.

Fred, why don't we get married again?

That would be so romantic.

Yes. Kind of sentimental-like.

Now just a cotton-picking minute!

A second honeymoon is okay, but a second marriage ceremony is absolutely, positively out and that's final!

"Justice of the Peace and Coffee Shop."

"Second ceremony and second cup free."

Coffee must be to keep you awake during the ceremony.

[laughing]

That's right. The second ceremony is free, but that's providing you have the reception here.

Never mind, I'll pay the two bucks. Let's get it over with.

What's the name, please? Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Flintstone. Flintstone. Yes, here we are.

Say, were you married the first time by Judge Wedrock?

Yes. Is he in?

I'll say he's in, for about seven years!

He never did have a license to perform marriage ceremonies, and they threw the book at him.

In that case, we were never really married!

This is your lucky day, Miss.

Never mind the wisecracks, buddy.

Just get us the license to sign and marry us right now.

Betty, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Wilma, you wouldn't dare!

Oh, wouldn't I?

If he really loves me, let him prove it.

[both giggle]

It's a wonderful opportunity to find out.

Right, come on. Let's get out of here.

Okay, Wilma, your turn. Just sign on the dotted line.

Wilma?

Where did everybody go?

I think you got left at the church, Fred.

Wilma, come back here!

Hey, Fred! Wait for me!

[Fred] She shouldn't have done it, Barney.

She should have signed those papers.

And then locking me out of my own cottage like that is ridiculous.

I don't care what that guy says.

As far as I'm concerned, we're still married.

You want to try and get some sleep, Fred.

Sleep? Would you sleep if you found out your wife was still single?

Wilma's just having a few laughs. She really loves you, Fred.

And tomorrow morning, the whole thing will be straightened out.

You really think so, Barney? Sure, Fred.

Yes. Maybe I'm losing my sense of humor.

It is kind of funny when you think of it.

Imagine me spending my second honeymoon with Barney Rubble.

Yes. That's funny. Yes. Very funny.

Yuck.

Honestly, Wilma, don't you think you're going too far?

After all, Fred does love you.

I know he does, Betty.

But I'm going to take this opportunity to make him show it.

How, Wilma?

By forcing him to act like he did before we were married.

Oh. Ha!

If it works, maybe I'll try it on Barney.

Good night, Wilma. Good night, Betty.

Wake up, boys, it's morning.

[grunting]

Oh, yeah. Good morning, honey.

Hurry up, Fred. I thought we'd stop by at the Justice of the Peace before breakfast.

Betty and I'll wait in the car. Okay, Wilma.

Fred, see how anxious she is now?

I told you she was just joking last night.

Yes, she must have got a big laugh out of it.

Let's see how funny it is when I refuse to sign on the dotted line.

That was quite a gag you pulled last night. Ha, ha.

You sure got a sense of humor.

Can't you drive a little faster, Fred?

What's the hurry, Wilma? There's plenty of time to sign the license.

Sign what license, Fred? I left my compact there yesterday.

And I'd like to pick it up and go home.

Fred, who's going to know except me and Betty?

We won't tell nobody.

I will not do it, and I do mean not.

N-O-double-T! Not!

I will not telephone my own house and ask my own wife for a date.

Betty, are you sure that's what Wilma told you to tell Fred?

Absolutely. Wilma says if Fred wants to marry her he can prove it by acting like any man who's in love with her.

I ain't any man. That's what Wilma said.

I'm her husband. She says she can prove you're not.

"Wilma says that." "Wilma says that."

What about what Fred says?

Wilma says I shouldn't pay any attention to that.

Go ahead and call her, Fred. What's the harm?

[Fred] Oh...

Oh, all right.

Hello, Wilma? - Yes. Who is this?

Come on! You know who this is!

Your voice sounds familiar.

Is it Tom? d*ck? Marvin?

No, it isn't Tom, d*ck, Marvin. It's Fred!

Fred? Do I know a Fred?

Oh, you must be Fred Flintstone.

That does it! I ain't going through with it.

Come on, Fred. You went this far.

Just ask her for a date.

I'm warning you, Barney, if you ever mention this to anybody, so help me, I'll...

Word of honor, Fred, word of honor. Nobody will know.

[ringing]

[Wilma] Hello?

[Fred] Uh, ahem...

This is Fred Flintstone.

You want to have dinner with me tonight?

Oh, I don't know if I can.

I have an appointment with the dentist.

You're having dinner with the dentist?

No, silly, but I'll postpone the appointment till tomorrow.

I'd love to have dinner with you.

Okay, I'll be right over.

And, Fred, I just know you're going to surprise me with flowers and a box of rock candy.

Flowers and rock candy. Wilma, you know I don't like rock candy.

Bye, Freddie. See you in an hour.

Okay. Okay. I'll bring flowers and rock candy.

Open up, Wilma. It's me, Fred.

[barking]

What's the matter with you, Dino? It's me, Daddy.

[Dino barking and snarling]

Benedict Arnold.

[Wilma] Oh, hello, Fred. Come on in.

Thank you.

So nice of you to remember I like flowers and rock candy, Fred.

Okay. You got what you wanted. Now let's eat.

What are we having for dinner, Wilma?

I won't know until I see a menu.

A menu? Of course. Where are you taking me?

I'm taking you right into the kitchen. That's where.

What's with this menu bit?

Well, you invited me to dinner, remember?

The Paradise Night Club would be fine. We can dance after we finish eating.

Oh, you feel like dancing, do you? Well, I feel like dancing too.

Did you ever see me do an "off to buffalo"?

I don't think so, Fred.

Well, watch this.

Good night, Wilma!

Bringing candy and flowers was bad enough, but inviting me over to dinner and expecting me to take her to The Paradise Club to eat, that's too much!

I think you're being too sensitive, Fred.

[phone ringing]

I'll get it.

I'll bet that's Wilma. Yes, ready to apologize.

Hello?

[Wilma speaking indistinctly]

Oh. Yes, he's here, Wilma.

Okay, I'll tell him.

Well, what did she say? She's sorry?

She didn't say anything about you, Fred.

Wilma wants me to ask Barney if he could use an extra bowling ball.

What? Give my bowling ball away?

Well, that's the straw that broke the camel's back.

You tell Wilma I am moving into a hotel, and if she wants to apologize, she can come look for me.

All right, Fred. I'll tell her.

You sure you know what you're doing, pal?

Of course I do, Barney.

Come on. Let's watch this. Okay, Fred.

I want to see the expression on Wilma's face when Betty tells her what I said.

Really, Wilma, I think maybe you're being too rough on poor old Fred.

Betty, you know I love poor old Fred.

I wouldn't hurt him for anything.

But I don't want to miss this chance to show him how inconsiderate he's been lately.

Fred may have his faults, but he does love you.

I can see them talking, Barney, but I can't hear what they are saying.

Watch this, Barney. Wait till you see Wilma's face when she hears what I said.

Look, Fred. They're laughing.

Betty must be telling her a joke.

Wait till she tells her I'm leaving.

But they're still laughing, Fred.

Is she going to stand there all day telling her jokes?

Poor Fred. He's still out there waiting for you to run over and make up.

Good. I've got an idea that's going to make Fred a model husband.

How, Wilma?

I'm going to bring a little green-eyed monster into the picture.

Hello, is this the Rockville Confectionery Parlor?

This is Wilma Flintstone.

I'd like to have a five-pound box of rock candy delivered immediately.

Our regular delivery boy went home, but I'll see that you get it, lady.

What's the address? Uh-huh. I got it.

Hey, Rocky, you can clean up later.

I want you to make a rush delivery for me.

Okay, boss.

Looks like Wilma don't scare easy, Fred.

We've been waiting 15 minutes, and she hasn't come looking for you yet.

Well, she's probably all broken up.

[tires screech then horn honks]

Buddy, is this where Wilma Flintstone lives?

[Fred] Yes. That's right. Thanks a lot.

Who's that, Fred? Search me.

Whoever it is, he's got a box of candy and some flowers with him.

And I don't think they're for you, Fred.

[Fred] And they're not for Wilma, either.

Hey, you! Hold it a minute, mister.

Just where do you think you're going with that candy and those flowers?

I'm gonna give them to Wilma Flintstone, if it's any of your business.

I'm making it my business, and you're not giving them to Wilma Flintstone.

No? No.

Says who? Says me!

[moaning]

What happened, Barney?

Why have I got this brontosaurus steak on my face?

Where am I?

In answer to your question, Fred, one, you got clobbered.

Two, you got a black eye, and three, you're in my house.

How do you feel, Fred?

Awful. How do I look? Awful.

It's no use, Barney.

I give up. I have been treating Wilma pretty shabby lately, and I know it.

I'm ashamed of myself. Oh, gee, Fred.

If you told Wilma that in the first place, this never would have happened.

Well, I'm going home to tell her right now.

It's no use, Betty.

The candy and the flowers didn't get a rise out of Fred.

I admit defeat. And I'm going over and tell Fred right now.

Hello, Wilma.

Fred! What happened to your eye?

Never mind that, Wilma.

I came over to apologize for making you do all those things just to show me how stupid I am.

Oh, Fred, dear, you're not really stupid.

Don't argue with me, Wilma! When I'm stupid, I'm stupid!

All right, honey. Anything you say.

Wilma. Yes, Fred?

Will you, will you marry me again?

Of course, dear, as many times as you like.

Yabba-dabba-doo!

You hear that, Barney?

Come on, everybody. Start packing.

We're leaving for the Rock Mountain Inn right now.

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Well, checking out already, Mrs. Flintstone?

Checking out? We're checking in.

How about that? You look exactly like a couple who checked in yesterday.

Look, Fred, there's that new Justice of the Peace.

Yes, that's him.

Imagine, a man like him sweeping floors.

The marrying business must be falling off.

What's wrong with sweeping floors? It happens to be his job.

His job? He's the Justice of the Peace!

Stonewall? No.

Judge Wedrock has been the Justice of the Peace here for 30 years.

That man is his brother-in-law and is he a card!

[laughing]

He's always pulling some kind of a joke.

He pulled a gag yesterday that was a lulu. Get this.

A couple stopped at the coffee shop to have their marriage ceremony performed again by Judge Wedrock.

Stonewall told them the judge was in jail for marrying people without a license.

[laughing]

And all the time the judge was in the back taking a nap!

Ain't that hilarious?

Yeah. Really tickles my funny bone, but I'm going to break his!

Don't, Fred. It would spoil everything.

Oh, yes, I guess you're right.

How about that, Fred? You were married all the time, but you didn't know it.

[giggling]

Mr. Stonewall, you're a dear.

[laughs] What's that for, lady?

You made me a happy bride.

[Fred] Hold it, Wilma! Hold it!

Uh-oh. What's the matter, Fred?

Wait for the groom, baby! Wait for the groom!

[laughing]

Attaboy, Fred! Come on, Barney.

Let's go see the Justice of the Peace and have a cup of coffee. I'm treating.

Yabba-dabba-doo!

[theme music playing]

Wilma!

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma, open the door!

Wilma!