01x27 - Rooms for Rent

[bunniefuu]

[Fred] Wilma.

Wilma!

Oh, Wilma!

Uh-oh. The cat's out of the bag.

Wilma!

Or more accurately, the saber-toothed lion is out of his cage.

Wilma, who is that?

Who is what, dear?

The guy sitting on our bed making all that racket.

Why, that's our new boarder, silly.

[whistles]

[siren wailing]

A hundred and seventeen, 62.50, 41 .75, 11 .82, and 26.70?

Wilma.

Hey, Wilma, I wanna talk to you.

Oh, dear. I've been expecting this.

What's wrong, Wilma?

Fred's been looking over the checkbook stubs.

Uh-oh! I'd better go home.

Husbands become so unreasonable when they get their nose in a checking account.

You're right, Betty.

Men just don't understand a woman's bookkeeping system.

Mm! They like our figures before we get married, but not afterwards.

Not when it comes to checkbooks.

[both laughing]

[Fred] Wilma.

I got a bone to pick with you.

See you later, Wilma. I hope.

[both laughing]

I see you've been going over the checking account, dear.

How do we stand? Stand?

We don't stand. We're flat on our face.

We have no checking account. We're way overdrawn.

Why, that's impossible. The bank must have made a mistake.

Naturally.

What good are all their bookkeepers, adding machines, double checking compared to your system, whatever it is.

Are you going to believe your wife or the bank?

Huh?

Does the bank cook your dinner for you every night?

Does the bank wash your clothes? Clean your house?

Now don't go feminine on me, Wilma.

I stay home and sl*ve all day.

And what thanks do I get? And what thanks do I get?

[Wilma] Hmm.

Overdrawn, huh?

Way overdrawn.

I'm sorry, Fred.

Okay, Wilma. Okay.

In the past, I used to get mad about this, but no more.

No reason why we can't discuss this calmly, like adult people.

Right? Right, Fred.

The way I look at it, Wilma, being married is like running a business as partners.

That's a lovely thought, Fred.

And partners must sit down every once in a while and discuss how their business is going.

Right? That makes good sense.

Now, partner, I have a report to make in regards to Fred Flintstone and Company if I may open the discussion?

Go right ahead, Fred. It's your right as senior partner.

Thank you.

Let's see.

Yeah, here it is.

Partner. Yes, partner?

You are spending too much money!

You use checks like they were coupons.

They're money. Money.

Hard-earned money.

But, Fred, we're partners.

Partners. What's partners about the Frilly-Frilly Sweater Shop or the Bedrock Tearoom?

Or the Jolly Boys Tavern or the Sure Strike Bowling Ball Company?

[Fred] That's different.

That's business expenses.

[Wilma] Since when do you conduct your business at the bowling alley?

Hey, Betty.

What is it, Barney?

Oh, Fred and Wilma are having a real ring-a-ding over there.

Hey, what's the trouble?

They're arguing over their checking account.

Fred was looking over the checks.

Checking account?

That gives me an idea.

I better check my checks.

Ouch!

Oops. I'm sorry.

Serves me right.

Me and my big mouth.

Good morning, Betty.

How about coming over for a cup of coffee?

Okay, Wilma.

Did Fred leave for work yet?

Yeah. The old bear slammed out of here earlier than usual.

I'm afraid we got pretty loud last night.

Did you hear us? - Of course not.

I couldn't hear a thing over Barney's yelling.

Barney's yelling? About what?

Our checking account, what else?

You too, huh?

Well, come on over. I'll make the coffee real strong.

Okay, Wilma, I'll be right there.

If we could only earn some extra money.

It would eliminate all these arguments over bills.

Sure, but the boys won't let us go out and get a job.

Yeah. I can just hear Fred saying, "A woman's place is in the home."

I bet it wasn't a wife that started that saying.

Betty, I've got an idea.

sh**ting them is against the law, Wilma.

[giggling]

Boarders. Huh?

Boarders.

We can make some money right here in our home by taking in a boarder.

That's right.

We're cooking and doing housework anyway.

Sure. We might as well make some money on it.

Wilma, that's a great idea. You're a genius.

There. How does it look?

Great.

Now all we gotta do is wait for results.

As soon as I rent the room, you can hang the sign at your house.

That's right. We're not in competition.

[doorbell rings]

I wonder who that is.

Maybe someone wants the room already.

[Wilma] Just a minute.

Yes?

Oh, hello, ma'am.

We're a couple of students working our way through college.

And we're looking for a nice pad-like.

Pad? What's that?

Well, it's like your sign says, "Pad for hire."

Oh, you mean "room for rent."

Come on in, boys.

You say you're majoring in music at Bedrock College?

And you work at night?

That's right, ma'am.

Well, it sounds okay.

One can stay here and the other can rent a room from you, Betty.

Crazy, man, crazy.

What kind of a job do you boys have?

We work at the Granite Club, ma'am.

You mean that jazz joint downtown?

Yes, ma'am.

Music will be our life's work, and that place is the most.

It's like an internship and way-out groove-a-roonie.

Would you like to glom our act?

We'd love to. There's a piano in the corner.

[boy] Lead me in to it, Sully.

[playing hot jazz]

Hey. They're good, Betty.

I'll say.

That's wonderful, boys.

You have lots of talent.

Yes, ma'am.

Talent we got, money we ain't.

No money?

How do you expect to pay for your room and board?

We thought maybe we could pay by giving music lessons.

You know, maybe teach to beat the skins or sock out a tune on the 88.

Or teach you the latest dance steps, maybe.

Come on, Sully. I guess it won't work.

I'm sorry, ladies, but by the time we pay our tuition at college and buy new skins for the bongos and the latest records, we got no money left.

It's all very discouraging.

This is our first time away from home, and...

Oh, well, thanks anyway, ladies. Goodbye.

Oh, the poor kids.

Wait a minute, boys. I have an idea.

Betty, why don't we let them help us with the act we're gonna do?

You know, the contest at the Annual Dinosaur Lodge Affair.

Wilma, I was thinking the same thing.

And if we win first prize, we'll be $500 richer.

Right.

And in the meantime, we'll be giving the boys a home.

Right.

Okay, fellas, I think we can wheel and deal.

We'll give you room and board for two weeks if you'll coach our act.

Gosh.

You're two of the nicest middle-aged ladies in the whole world.

Gee, thanks a lot.

I think I'll call about my Social Security, Wilma.

Maybe it's time for me to collect my old-age pension.

Yeah. Me too.

[both giggling]

Fine thing.

We gotta walk home from work because we can't afford gas for our cars till payday.

Oh, the exercise will do us good, Fred.

Exercise. Nah!

My feet are k*lling me.

Come on, let's take the subway.

Papers! Get the latest papers here!

Paper, mister?

Hey. How about that, Barney?

Says the army has developed a new bow and arrow.

Yeah.

Yeah, the slingshot is obsolete now.

[Fred] This arrow really must be something.

It has an atomic warhead.

Wowee.

A guy can get hurt playing around with one of those.

Would you big spenders like me to turn the page now?

Fresh kid.

Come on, Barney.

Sheesh.

You meet all kinds in this racket.

[Barney] Here's the station, Fred.

Yep, here we go.

Down with the rest of the sardines.

Next stop, Pebble Street.

Pebble Street, next stop.

Hey, that's our train, Fred. Hurry.

Hold it, conductor.

Hold it!

We made it.

Come on, come on. Let's get moving.

Plenty of room in the back.

Take it away, Charlie!

Well, we squeezed in.

Yeah. And there's plenty of room too.

Boy, I got a fat one tonight.

The little guy's got cold hands.

You know, Barney, I've been thinking about our financial problems all day, and I got a great idea how we can make money right in our own houses.

Oh, no. No, no, no. Count me out, pal.

Counterfeiting is a federal offense.

Very funny. Very funny.

Barney, sometimes I wonder why I stay friends with you.

Oh, I don't know, Fred.

Unless it's because I'm true-blue, witty, generous, and I let you beat me in bowling.

[both laughing]

Oh, cut it out, will you? This is serious.

Oh, sorry, Fred. Well, what's your idea, huh?

Well, it was about 2:00 this afternoon.

No, no, no. It was close to 3.

All right, 3.

And I thought to myself, here's my friend, Barney, in the same kind of financial bind I'm in.

How true.

But what to do about it, that's the question.

And then it comes to me.

What comes to you, Fred?

My brilliant idea.

We both got spare rooms in our houses we never use.

So why not put the rooms to work for us?

Let's take in some boarders.

Gee, I don't know, Fred.

Why? What's wrong with that?

I don't think the girls would like the idea.

Now we both agree that taking in a boarder is a good idea.

Right, Barney? Right, Fred.

Good. Now all we gotta do is sell the idea to the girls.

Fred. Yeah, Barney?

If Betty throws me out, will you take me in as a boarder?

Oh, quit your kidding, Barney.

Who's kidding? Who's kidding?

You know how sore Betty gets when she doesn't agree with one of your ideas.

[laughing]

That Barney, what a guy.

Now to ease into the boarder idea with Wilma.

[snoring]

Wilma.

Oh, Wilma.

I'm home.

Say hello to Fred, Dino.

No, no, no, Dino. Down, boy. Down, down.

All right, all right, come on.

[yipping]

Whoever heard of carrying a pet into the house piggyback?

It's just that Dino loves you so much, Fred.

Yeah, well, I'm gonna train him to hate me a little.

Aw, that was a wonderful meal, Wilma honey.

From the pterodactyl soup through the brontosaurus steak New York cut, right down to the dodo bird pie, and the lychee nuts.

Well, thank you, Fred.

[Wilma] Hmm.

He's in a good mood.

There'll never be a better time to spring the boarder news.

[Fred] Hmm. She's in a good mood.

There'll never be a better time to spring the boarder news.

Wilma, I got... Fred, I got something to...

I've been thinking... You'll never guess...

Hold it. Hold it.

I got news for you. We're gonna take in a boarder.

There's no need to having a spare room that's not being used.

Now what do you got to say about that?

That's a wonderful idea, Fred.

Never.

Never, never, never will I ever figure out women.

Hey, Fred, how did you make out?

I talked her into it.

Good, I sold Betty on the idea too.

Good boy, Barney.

Now, let's see.

If I can get $10 a week for the room, that'll be...

40 bucks a month.

Boy, I can bowl a lot of games with that kind of dough.

Now, if I ask for 15 a week...

[door closes]

[bongos continue]

Oh, hi, Mr. Flintstone.

Wha...? Uh...?

What are you doing?

I'm doing my homework.

Now, if you'll excuse me, sir.

[Fred] Wilma.

Wilma!

Oh, Wilma! Uh-oh.

The cat's out of the bag.

Wilma!

Or more accurately, the saber-toothed lion is out of his cage.

Wilma, who is that?

Who is what, dear?

That guy sitting on our bed making all that racket.

Why, that's our new boarder, silly.

Don't tell me you can't remember suggesting a boarder.

Oh, yeah, that's right. I did suggest a boarder.

But I didn't suggest him.

That does it.

No. No, Barney.

No.

Just let me get my hands on him for five seconds.

Please, Betty. Please.

Five seconds, please.

Cool it down, will you, please?

I must have quiet when I'm doing my homework.

He's staying here two weeks, and that's final.

We must help students get an education.

If people didn't encourage musical talent, where would our future Louis Primas come from?

As a matter of fact, it's our patriotic duty.

[mimics bugle call]

I'm putting in for the Purple Heart.

Not only are we helping our nation's educational program, Fred, but in two weeks, we'll be $500 ahead.

Five hundred bucks? How?

How?

Uh... Oh.

It's one of those package deals.

You know, fringe benefits, educational subsidies, stuff like that.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I heard of that.

I think.

Now, why don't you calm down and go bowl a few games with Barney?

That's a good idea.

With so much money coming in, I can afford to put a few games on the cuff.

So long, honey. See you later.

Phew.

He almost had me then.

Betty and I wanna keep that prize money as a surprise.

Watch this, Barney.

A reverse strike off the backboard.

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Hey, that's a pretty good shot, Fred.

There's nothing to it.

I just think of those pins as bongo drums and I can't miss.

[laughing]

Well, it's only for two weeks, and the dough we'll get for room and board is worth it.

Yeah, it'll be hard on the nerves, but for 500 bucks, I guess I can take it for two weeks.

What's holding dinner up, Wilma? I'm starved.

Coming right up, Fred.

I've got two Swiss brontosaurus steaks tonight.

Dig in, boys.

Excuse me, Mr. Flintstone.

Hey, what's the idea of taking the big piece?

I'm a growing boy.

Well, you're not gonna grow any older if you pull that stuff.

Now put that steak back.

Help! Mrs. Flintstone, he's at it again.

Stop that, Fred. You'll make Sully late for work.

I'd like to make Sully late for his next birthday.

I'm telling you, Barney, I can't take much more of this.

I've been on a diet ever since that Sully kid has been in our house.

I didn't plan it. Just worked out that way.

I know how you feel, Fred. Things are the same at my house.

But it's only for 10 more days.

Seems more like 10 more years.

All right, Mrs. Flintstone.

Let's see the act you and Mrs. Rubble have worked out.

Okay. It's a good act, but maybe you can put some polish to it.

We'll try.

Start whenever you're ready.

A-one, a-two.

♪ We're two little girls ♪

♪ Who've lost their dollies ♪

♪ Lost their dollies Lost their dollies ♪ Hold it, Mrs. Flintstone. Hold it.

♪ We're two little girls ♪♪ Hold it!

What's wrong?

You've lost us.

No matter how we try to polish that act, it'd still be dull.

[boy] I think we better work up a new one for you.

With some real way-out singing and dancing.

Well, that'd be swell, huh, Betty?

Yeah.

Considering we've been doing that dolly act for five years and never won.

[laughing]

Boy, I never saw time drag so slow.

Five more days.

[Wilma] Dinner's ready, Fred.

[humming]

Hurry up, dear, it'll get cold.

What's the matter with her?

Here you are, dear.

Okay, hold it. Hold it.

Yes, Fred?

What's with the floor show?

Nothing, Fred. I just feel happy.

Happy, huh?

Let me tell you something, Wilma.

If you get any happier, the happy wagon will back up to the door for you.

Come to think of it, I'm happy myself tonight.

This is my first meal without Sully around.

[door opens]

[Sully] Hi, Mr. Flintstone.

[humming]

[crash]

[Sully] Mrs. Flintstone.

He did it again.

Well, Barney-boy, today is the last day for the boarders.

Right, Fred. Out they go.

Ever since that kid's been boarding with us, Betty has been acting peculiar.

Singing crazy stuff like:

[scatting]

You know, jiggling all over the house.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Wilma's been doing the same thing.

If it wasn't for the dough we're gonna get, I would've knocked it off long ago.

Well, it's all over now.

When we get home, we'll throw them out.

[laughs]

That will be a pleasure.

Well, Mrs. Flintstone and Mrs. Rubble, this is goodbye.

You're doing real well with your new act.

I bet you you'll take first prize.

Thanks, boys.

Are you sure you won't stay longer?

No, thanks, Mrs. Flintstone. A deal is a deal.

Besides, Mr. Flintstone doesn't like me.

Oh, you're wrong.

He just has trouble showing it.

[Fred] Aha!

There they are.

Out you guys. Hit the bricks.

Out, out, out!

You're right, Mrs. Flintstone. He has a real tough time showing it.

Goodbye, folks. You were all swell to us.

Goodbye, boys.

Goodbye.

Drop in sometime to say hello.

Oh, Fred, they really weren't bad kids.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

So long, fellas.

And good luck and...

[scatting]

To you.

[laughing]

Well, that's it.

Okay, Wilma, where's the money?

Money? What money?

What money?

Well, the money your boarders paid you, the 500 bucks.

Oh, they weren't supposed to pay any money, Fred.

No. It was a package deal.

A package deal?

You mean there's a string to it?

[Wilma] Sit down, boys. Betty and I will explain the whole thing.

[tap dancing]

[applause]

I still say this is silly, Fred.

We drive the girls all the way down, and then we stand outside, when we could be inside watching the show.

You mean watching Wilma and Betty make a show of themselves, don't you?

Besides, I'm still sore about putting up with two weeks of bongo drumming for nothing.

[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, the judges have reached the decision on the talent contest.

Hey, Fred, Fred. They're gonna announce the winner.

Nah! The winners are...

Mrs. Fred Flintstone and Mrs. Barney Ruble.

Uh, Rubble.

[applause]

Thank you. Thank you.

Likewise, I'm sure.

Hey, did you hear that, Fred? The girls won 500 bucks.

I can't believe it.

Now, ain't you sorry for being such a sorehead?

Come on, Barney, we got things to do.

Hey, Fred, wait. What are you talking about?

Never mind, pal.

Just get in the car. I'll explain later.

[grumbles]

I can't wait until I get hold of that Fred.

And Barney's got a lot of explaining to do too.

Not coming in to watch our act is bad enough, but taking the car and leaving us stranded is too much.

Men are such soreheads when their wives make good.

Yeah, like spoiled kids.

[jazz music playing]

Fred. Barney.

What are you doing?

Well, I figure that since you gals won tonight, Barney and I will be a cinch to win next year's show with the act we'll work up.

Hit it, Barney-boy.

A year of this?

Don't worry, Wilma, you'll be dispossessed in a week.

I can hardly wait.

Men. Men.

Wilma!

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma, open this door!

Wilma!