[Whirring]
[Title music]
[Whirring]
Man: It's alive!
[Thunder rumbles]
Narrator: Now back to Davenport,
the Drama Llama.
The tempter or the tempted,
who sins most?
[Spits] Tis not she ...
nor doth she tempt ...
but it is I that...
lying by the virtue of the...
sun does as the carrion and...
not as the flower,
corrupt with virtuous...
[Continuous spits]
...beauty.
[Cheers and applause]
Thanks for inviting me, Penelope.
Oh, I'm sorry ... Peppa-Mint.
So what's Chef Club about?
- Chef Club is about friendship!
- Cool!
All: And owning stuff!
Like my new
Sparkle Clean dishwasher.
[Laughing heartily] Hey, gals!
Why don't you slide
those dirty plates in me,
like you're supposed to?
I always let my husband
do the dishes. [Chuckles]
[All gasp]
She didn't mean it, Baby!
Hey, do you guys want to take a
walk or something, like, outside?
You haven't even tried out my
super rare Moonlight Dazzle Mop.
[Laughing heartily]
Drag my face on the floor!
Holy sh*t!
Okay, does he feel pain?
- Who cares?
- Yea... [Gargling]
Yeah, I think I might take off.
Aw, come on, Sara.
Sit on my face some more.
Oh, my God!
The chair talks, too?
Mm-hmm.
Just like the locks on the doors,
and the bars in the windows,
so we never,
ever, ever have
to leave our stuff again!
[All chanting] Stuff! Stuff!
Hello? Jeff?
I need you to come pick me up,
right now.
I'm your husband now, Sara.
Euuaaaggghhh!
Aah! Aah!
[All chanting] Stuff! Stuff!
[Screams]
- Ready for our first patient, Doc?
- Achoo!
I'd say he has a cold, Mom.
You're right, Doc.
What do you recommend?
Plenty of rest
and some chicken soup.
And he'll be good as ...
My baby!
She got hit by a car!
Pupils fixed and dilated.
Possible subdural hematoma.
[Gasps] We need to intubate.
Wind pipe is crushed.
Trach her!
[Gasps]
Her heart stopped!
I'm going in!
- Maybe she just needs a pick-me-up song!
- Rib spreader!
♪ A doctor's office
is a real nice place! ♪ [Grunting]
♪ A lollipop puts a smile
on your face ♪
[Exhales sharply]
Come on, breathe, damn it, breathe!
[Retches]
[Vomits, coughing]
Phew!
All in a day's work, right, kiddo?
I want to be an accountant.
I can be anything I want!
After all, we animals
overcame our baser instincts
and now we're thinking,
caring, talking creatures.
Wahhhh!
My insides are outside!
[Whimpers]
What kind of world is this?!
Eughh, bugs! Gross!
[Vipers whirring]
[Chuckling] Whoops!
Almost forgot my life preserver.
Oh, Jesus,
I just need to see this.
Oswald, you know
you're an octopus, right?
- You literally cannot drown.
- Safety first!
- Oh [bleep] me.
- [Grunts] Oohh!
Huh.
Um... Huh.
[Heavy metal music]
♪ Road Hawgs, Road Hawgs ♪
♪ What, what ♪
♪ Mutant teen
pig-people hogs are ♪
♪ Road Hawgs, Road Hawgs ♪
♪ Road Haaaaaawgs! ♪
♪ Manpig, Pigman,
Flank, and Steve ♪
♪ They're pigs on wheels
that honk and squeal ♪
- # Road Hawgs
- Used to be human, no one fightin' #
♪ But their dad accidentally
turned them into swines ♪
♪ Road Hawgs, Road Hawgs ♪
♪ Swallow porcine DNA ♪
♪ Road Hawgs, Road Hawgs ♪
♪ Now they're mutated
in a terrible way ♪
- # Road Hawgs #
- Hawg-tacular!
If we're ever gonna
find an antidote,
we'll need to stop
Dr. Bovine from...
- Hey, where's Flank?
- Saw him out back earlier.
Steve, have you seen Flank?
Uhh...
[Dramatic music]
- No.
- Steve?!
Guys, uh, look...
[Laughing] I just ...
I love bacon soooo much!
- It's so good!
- Us too, buddy. Us too.
- Then I guess... Let's eat, man!
- Trickin' awesome!
♪ Road Hawgs! ♪
Announcer: Brought to you by
the makers of "Cheese League."
Narrator: And now, Taking A Guess
At Shows We Don't Watch.
Nacho cheese!
Nacho cheese!
In... Seattle?
_
[Splashing water]
_
Cheese...
Seattle...
in...?
_
Oh, my God. The time!
[Gulping]
Ahh!
Shake it off!
[Bleep] keys! Ruhh!
[Glass shatters]
[Tires screech]
Oh, my God!
I'm so sorry.
- Smells like beer.
- Buddy, I just forgot.
[Sighs]
You always forget.
Son...
Daddy's going through
a tough time, but...
- I love you more than life ...
- Look out!
[Screams, tires screeching]
Please, God!
Someone help me!
- My son needs a doctor! Please!
- I can help!
- You can? Are you a doctor?!
- Yes, my friend.
My name is Dr.
Sunjayvandanacandanapecarpecar.
Huh?!
_
Welcome to Westworld,
where you can you live out
your every fantasy.
This better be good, Ford.
I present to you our very first
host, Dolores, generation one.
She's... so... lifelike!
No, no, no. Not "she."
It.
We must never forget that
the hosts are not real.
I mean, I'll try, but...
Wow.
[Clears throat] Dolores, take one.
Howdy, y'all!
Can they, you know, uhhhh,
have... sex?
Why don't you ask it?
Hello, Dolores?
You look lovely.
May we have
sexual intercourse?
[Take recorder rewinding]
Yes ... to the thing you said!
Whoo! Ow! All right!
Don't wait up!
[Door opens, slams shut]
Imagine a whole world
of these hosts.
[Grunting]
Catering to your every ...
[Moaning, air hissing]
I broke it.
Also, the tape recorder gave me
a gash on my forehead.
[Tape recorder rewinding]
[Mumbling nonsensically]
[Tape recorder rewinds]
[Mumbling nonsensically]
Huh.
That's a boner k*ller.
Wow, I can't believe I'm
finally getting Lasik surgery!
Wow, I can't believe they sold
a laser to a rabbit!
Hi, we're the American Pickers,
cruising the country
and learning about history
while digging through
other people's junk.
Mind if we come in
and have a look around?
[Mumbling]
- Whoa, Frankie, do you see that?
- Yeah, Mike. I do.
Goldstein Brothers
cast-iron stove.
In the stove-picking game,
this is the holy grail.
So what would you need
for the stove? $ ?
[Chain saw buzzing]
- Wow!
- As usual, Frankie comes out
the gate with a low-ball offer
and nearly blows the whole pick.
What about these meat hooks?
Would you take... $ apiece?
[Mumbling agreeably]
I'm a meat-hook guy.
Meat hooks are big sellers
in our Nashville store.
I got Leatherface to
come down on the stove,
and even though it cost me
an arm, it didn't cost me a leg.
That's what I call a good pick!
_
__
_
Woman: What happens when
four best friends
write each other letters
about how they really feel?
[Music]
The letters have been delivered.
"We're best friends, and I love you."
Aw!
"But I have to tell you
that you're weak.
I mean, I've heard
of damsels in distress,
but you make Princess Peach
look like Ronda Rousey"?
What?
Okay, who wrote this?
Can't wait for that letter.
[Chuckles heartily]
"For the love of God,
get some [bleep] contacts."
That's all they wrote?
"I think you two have
a serious addiction problem."
Like, oh, boy, Scoob.
They're sayin' we gotta stop
eatin' Scooby Snacks!
They rrha'?!
[Chuckles] What do you
mean I don't have a letter?
Man: Um, the show is only
about four best friends.
[Chuckles nervously]
You're kidding, right?
I didn't make the cut?
Did the dog make the cut?
Woman: Each friend has one week
to improve themselves.
I can't believe they called me
a damsel in distress.
[Train whistle approaching]
Wait a minute...
[Chuckling]
This is not my yoga class.
- Give us the mic!
- Give me my letter!
Like, dude, we can do it, old pal.
Just one week.
With nuh... with no ...
With no [bleep]
Scooby Snacks, man!
Like, I'm freakin' out!
[Bleep] No!
Woman: It's been a week since
the g*ng received their letters.
Let's see if they fixed their flaws.
Like, man, I will sell you a
body part for one Scooby Snack!
I'd rrhuck your rrhick!
[Sobs]
Guys... I got Lasik!
- Rra'?!
- They're still healing.
[Door bursts open]
[Grunts]
Enough sittin' around,
sh*t for brains!
- Let's do this!! [Grunts]
- Ow!
Hmm...
if the owner d*ed a decade ago,
why start haunting now?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Were you talking to me?
- The fifth wheel? Because ...
- Let's get this son of a bitch!
- Hey!
- Who's your mother?!
- Ow!
- Yeah! Get over here!
[Glass shatters]
[Grunting]
Now let's see who
the "ghost" really is.
[Grunting]
[All gasping]
[Vomits]
Butler.
Called it.
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
- Ba-gawk!
- Bawk.
09x02 - Scoot to the Gute
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
American adult animated comedy with a series of pop-culture parodies about everything.
American adult animated comedy with a series of pop-culture parodies about everything.