07x15 - Victoria's Secret of NIMH

[bunniefuu]

[Thunder crashes]

[Laughs evilly]

[Sawing]

[Electricity crackles]

It's alive!

[Thunder crashes]

[Laughs evilly]

[Smooch!]

[Laughs evilly]

Hut one!
Hut two! Hut...

Aah!

Double cross, bitch!

Wilson! I see a boat!

There's a boat coming this way!

We're rescued!

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

What are you doing?

We are hijacking your ship,
Captain.

Call your government and
tell them we want $ million,

or we will k*ll you.

Everyone thinks
I'm dead already.

Okay, this is, uh,
clearly a mistake.

Aah!

Holy crap!

Is that a Bengal tiger?

[Growls]

Aah!

Richard Parker!

Wilson!

Richard Parker!

Wilson!

Richard Parker!

Wilson!!

Richard Parker!!

Welcome back to boxing
night here in Bangkok.

The champion is
Saensak Payakaroon,

a proud Thai fighter.

His challenger is
another Thai fighter...

Tie Fighter.

[Bell clangs]

And the bells clang, and
Payakaroon advances on his

opponent and lands a
right jab and a hook,

and now another solid jab,
and it doesn't seem to be

fazing the Empire
starfighter at all!

If anything, Payakaroon
seems to be injuring his own hand,

sh**ting punches straight
into the metal hull.

Ooh!

And there's a laser
blast from the Tie Fighter,

and Payakaroon's head
is blown clear off.

Tie Fighter wins his first
fight with a decisive victory.

They are trying to attach
the championship belt to his waist,

and he does not like it!

Baby, I've got a secret,
but I'm afraid to tell you.

It's okay, baby.

You just say it.

I-I just put on this
frosting so you'd like me.

I'm actually a bagel.

[Sobs]

You're Jewish?!

- Kal-el.
- Father?

I've programmed a hologram
of myself to assist you.

Get out of here before
general Zod arrives.

Thank you, father.

Looks like you're eating
too much dairy, Kal-el.

Dad! I don't need your help!

Your digestive tract
suggests otherwise.

That's going to
be a triple wipe...

maybe more.

Aim for a one-wiper.

Try to eat less cheese.

Ugh! Ridiculous!

Oh, Clark.

I think I'm ready
to go all the way.

Game time, Lois.

[Both smooching]

I'd begin with
foreplay, Kal-el.

What's going on?!

Who's that?!

Start by kissing
her inner thigh,

then spell out the alphabet on
her clitoris with your tongue.

The Krypton alphabet,

specifically the letter
[babbling wildly]

Dad!
This is so embarrassing!

Your dead father makes some
good points about cunnilingus.

Thanks.

Jor-elcome.

Are you a house?

Uh, no.

[Machine beeping]

[Dramatic music plays]

Fly with me to Neverland!

[Children laughing]

Children! No!

These are the Lost Boys.

They're not vampires.

[Telephone rings]

We... have a phone?

Hello?

I don't know who you are.

I don't know what you want.

I don't know why you dress like?

A gay Robin Hood.

Like a gay Robin Hood.

But I have a very particular
set of skills that make me a

nightmare for people like you,

by which I guess I mean
flying gay Robin Hoods.

Good luck finding
Neverland, Grandpa.

[Receiver slams]

Oh, what's he saying?

[Dial tone]

He's saying "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh."

That's the dial tone.

Dial tone?

This is a very old phone.

He's holding your children in
what I presume is an underground

sex club called "Neverland."

Oh, thank goodness you do
security work for bankers,

like myself, Mr. Mills.

But how will you
reach the children?

They were flying.

I think I heard them
say something about

"Thinking happy thoughts."

Happy thoughts, eh?

No! No, please!

Aah!

Whoo-hoo! Off I go!

[Crash]

Aah!

Ugh!

Aah!

[Farts]

I just pooped in my tail!

Where are the children?

[Farts]

I've never met real-live
mermaids before!

Oh-ho!
That's so fun!

Let's drown this bitch.

No! Please! Don't!

No! No! Oh!

Wendy, where are your brothers?

There!
On the pirate ship!

Time for these little
chickadees to walk the plank!

[Laughs evilly]

Ticktock. Time's up.

Hyah!

Aaaaaaah!

I'm taking you home, children.

PETER PAN:
Not so fast, you old Codfish!

Ooh! Nah nah nah!

Nah na...

Tink!

Good luck getting home without
her fairy dust, assh*le!

Why would I want to leave
when my happy thought's

about to come true?

Your what?

Oh! No! No...

Aah!

Okay, but seriously, man, how
the f*ck are we getting home?!

Hang on.

Oh! No! No! Wait!

Aah!

[Humming]

"A But Tuba"?

This looks like the work of...

Was it a bat I saw?

Palindrome.

I see you're still talking in

sentences that are spelled the
same forward and backward.

What are you planning?

Evil I did dwell,
lewd I did live.

Tell me, why do you continue
to haunt Gotham, Palindrome?

Mr. Owl ate my metal worm.

Mr. Owl?

I don't know Mr. Owl!

Go hang a salami,
I'm a lasagna hog.

Over my dead body, Palindrome.

Yah!

Yarg!
God dam mad dog.

I should feed you to the dogs.

No, Sir.
Prefer prison.

It's not too late for you,
Palindrome.

You could still do good.

Do good, I? No!

Evil anon I deliver, I maim
nine more hero men in Saginaw,

sanitary swore to tuck carol I.

Lo! Rack, caught a
drowsy rat in Aswan.

I gas nine more
hero men in Miami.

Reviled I, Nona, live on.

I do...
oh, god!

Wow.

That was impressive.

Yah!

Yarg!

Look, honey!
A sh**ting star!

Aww!

Domino, m*therf*ckers!

[Machine g*n f*ring]

BOTH:
Ah! Ah! Aaaaah!

Thanks for throwing me a
welcoming party, Count.

I've never been to a party
hosted by a vampire before.

I do it for all
the newcomers, Alex.

After tonight,
I guarantee you'll be...

One of us.

Anh anh anh anh!

[Techno music playing]

Mmm.

Mmm.

I guess when our show's guests
include Katy Perry and Ice-T,

it's a slippery slope.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Hey, Grover.
Hi, Snuffy.

Huh?

Oh, no!

The Count... h-he turned
you all into the undead!

If you assumed I was a
vampire in every other way

but that, then I count one...

one moron.

Aah! Aah! Oh, no!

Aah! Oh!

[Dramatic music plays]

Oh, nice character intro.

How long you been waitin'
here watching me sh*t myself?

Get him!

Ooh!

Aah!

"S" is for "Sever."

Ha!

Flawless built-in
defense system.

Wait!
W-what are you doing?

Aah! Oof!

I see one...
one dead mother...

Oh, my goodness.

There's not a speck
of blood on you.

What, do you keep a pack of
handi wipes in that flak jacket?

No. Just this.

One. Two...

Stop counting.

That was a play-by-play.

I just pissed and
sh*t in my own pants.

Aah!

[Choking]

Wow.

So, I guess if you've hunted
all the way to Sesame Street,

you must have gotten every
vampire in the world.

Not quite.

Who wants some of my
Count Chocula cereal?

Which, if looked at from a
very specific point of view,

is a nutritious part of
this balanced breakfast.

[Shotgun cocks]

You!

Almost done there, doc?

Just a second, Mr. Peterson.

I...

Yes, I am done.

I'd like to do further tests,
but I...

My watch!

Yoink!

[Nerdy voice]
What's going on?

[Nerdy voice]
They announced the premiere

date for
"Star Wars: Episode Vll."

It's gonna be so cool!

Yeah. It's so cool.

♪ I should be happy
about "Star Wars" ♪

♪ But just like blue milk,
I feel blue ♪

♪ 'Cause what if
it's a mess? ♪

♪ I can't help
but obsess ♪

♪ About all the horrible
crap they could do ♪

♪ They could give
lightsabers to Ewoks ♪

♪ Make Boba Fett have
a talking dog friend ♪

Voiced by Eddie Murphy.

Heh heh heh heh...

♪ Product placement
would be sad ♪

♪ Plot twist,
Luke is his own Dad ♪

I'll never join me!

♪ And everyone
high-fives in the end ♪

ALL:
Yeah! Don't do dr*gs!

♪ They could shave all
of the Wookiees ♪

♪ And dress them up
in business suits ♪

♪ Ackbar said... ♪

It's a rap!

♪ And then he starts to rap ♪

♪ And Han says a
catchphrase when he sh**t ♪

Oh, did I do that?

♪ Oh, I've been b*rned
so many times before ♪

♪ Green Lantern, Prometheus,
Girls Cup ♪

♪ But "Star Wars" is the one
that I most adore ♪

♪ Please, J.J.,
don't f*ck this up ♪

ALL:
♪ U-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-up ♪

[vomits]

♪ I don't know
what's real anymore ♪

♪ "Star Wars"
has become my sad fixation ♪

♪ Mom wanted me to
be a surgeon ♪

♪ I'm and still a... ♪

comic collector.

Ohhhh!

♪ But never mind ♪

♪ These movies
could be awesome ♪

♪ A million force ghosts
going on a k*lling spree ♪

♪ Giant space worms
everywhere ♪

♪ Chewie's grown
back all his hair ♪

♪ I'll camp out for a
whole year just to see ♪

♪ "Star Wars: Episode Vll"
sh*t in IMAX and -D ♪

and starring me as Luke
Skywalker's favorite son,

who gets the best stuff,
like Lightsabers made of gold!

♪ And finally has sex ♪

[all cheer]

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

Ba-gawk! Bawk.

Wilson!

Richard Parker!

Wilson!

Richard Parker!

Wilson!

Richard Parker!

Stupid monkey!