03x12 - Losin' the Wobble

[bunniefuu]

It's alive!

In "Tonight's news," you can
find the words "night," "tight,"

"tits," "tots," "stew," "wino,"
"ghost" and the name "Toni,"

if spell it with an "i. "

Oh, my god!
Oh, my god!

Oh, my god!

Oh, my god!
Not one more day of this!

Not one more day!

Oh, this is gonna be good.

Honey, what are you doing?

Shut up!

That's what I'm doing.

Ha!

Time to go to work.

Be careful, dear.

You are not the boss of me!

Aah!

Jewish f*cking holiday!

Ha!
Are you not entertained?!

No!

Do a dance!

# Ah doo bop da-da la doo da #

# Da ooh dah #

# Ah ta da dun dun dun da-dun #

# Diddly daa! #

Are you not entertained now?!

Tell a joke!

A priest, a rabbi, and a monk
walk into a...

What's a rabbi?!

Okay, I'm gonna show you these
cards,

and you just tell
me what you see.

Breasts!

Boobs!
Knockers!

Funbags!
Hooters!

Dirty pillows!

Milk sacks!

Ta-tas!
Melons!

Gazongas!
Flesh pumpkins!

Sweater meat!
Nipple backstops!

Big, bopplin' boobly oobly
ooblies!

Two moons in tractor beam!

Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-
mmm-mmm!

Just tell me your demands and
we can end this!

There's no reason to hurt those
babies!

All I want is for someone to
tell me that they love me!

I knew nobody loved me!

It's your fault,
mom!

Why didn't you love me?!

Veringular... we're dropping
your calls on purpose,

and there isn't sh*t you can
do about it.

Happy birthday, son!

Wow!

It's the mustang
I've always wanted!

Wow, dad!

I can't believe that you...
Hey.

Aw, dad, what'd you do that for?

Wait, that's my car.

Yours is over there.

Oh...

Aw!

I've made a deal

that will keep the empire out of
our affairs forever.

We'd be honored if you could
join us.

C- can I get a little more
water?

What?

Nothing!

I just asked for more water.

Hmm?

Ckk!

Rrr!

Pkww!

Rrr!

So, how we doing?!

Leia, how's the soup?

You ever have soup this good?

Yes, on Alderaan.

Hey, princess, let it go.

"Oh, help me!

We're a peaceful planet!"

"You may fire when ready. "

Boo-o-o-o-o-o-o-a-a-a-a-a-a-h!

Big laser!
Pkk-k-k-k-k-k-k!

Alderaan chunks everywhere!

Ps-s-s-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!

Anyone, uh...
anyone got a joke?

I've got one.

Who's got two thumbs and
betrayed his best friend?

This guy!

Uh... too soon?

Well, it's been a time and a
half, but...

Lot of torturing to do.

A boo-oop bah boo!

Doo deedle-dee doo doo!

Aroo-oo!

From the people who claim
" " is a true story

comes the tale of our nation's
birth.

General Washington,

the Redcoats outnumber us a
billion to !

Fear not, American!

For tonight, we dine...
in Virginia!

King George would like to
speak with you.

This is a British colony!

British?

This is America!

Hancock, now!

Y-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-h!

It ain't accurate,
but it'll blow your f*cking mind.

And the power cell recharges
as it moves.

It's a revolution
in robotic longevity!

Yes?

Can you f*ck it?

Excuse me?

Can you f*ck it?

No.

Oh, jeez! Come on!

Tragedy struck today as
beloved children's icon

Raggedy Ann committed su1c1de
by steam press.

Viewers will remember that her
longtime companion,

Raggedy Andy,
d*ed in the late ' s

and is now a permanent part of
the AIDS quilt.

All too common.

While boys hang on to action
figures forever,

girls dump their old playthings
with a cruel lack of compassion.

But enough about
my personal life.

What happens to girls' toys when
they're no longer loved?

Jem was on top of the rock 'n'
roll world in the ' s,

but when she fell,
she fell hard...

some say right into a
cheesecake.

# The wheels on the bus go
quack quack quack #

# Open and shut #

# Beep beep beep #

# The driver on the bus goes
swish swish open quack #

# Bus beep beep #

# That's how it goes #

No, they don't!

You're ruining my party!

# Little stupid bitch better
shut the f*ck up #

You want to know what's truly,
truly outrageous?

Chlamydia.

$ , right?

You know, this is really
embarrassing, but in the ' s,

I used to masturbate to you all
the time.

Yeah, you were just a boy then,

but now you're a man,
right?

Well, yes... a married man.

So, is it an open marriage
or...

So, is it an open marriage?

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
briefly added

a fifth member with a very
special accessory... a vag*na.

But after getting dumped from
the team,

Venus chose to end her life

the way all discarded
turtles meet their maker.

Seen it a million times...

tried to flush herself down the
toilet.

Ironically, when she d*ed,
she crapped herself.

Is that ironic or just funny?

Strawberry Shortcake
was bullied

for years by the evil
Purple Pieman.

Now, for the first time,

she'll get to confront her
former tormentor.

Eh?

Who's there?

I am blind now.

The diabetes saw to that.

Cha-cha-cha cha.

Still got the moves, ha ha.

And so Strawberry Shortcake

has been denied the
confrontation she so craves.

Oh, no!

Bull crap!

Aah!

What the...

Fucker!

Aah!

m*therf*cker,
take my berries now, bitch!

Yaah!

Whoo!

I told that m*therf*cker I'd
bury him,

and that's not some
fruit-related speech impediment.

B- u-r-y... bury, like in the
f*cking ground.

Rainbow Brite was a huge hit
with girls...

and boys who
wanted to be girls.

So, Rainbow,
what have you been up to?

Well, after I retired as
ruler of Rainbow Land,

I continued to seek out all the
pretty colors of the world.

I dated a black guy, a Korean
guy, a black guy,

a Puerto Rican guy, a black guy,
some Indian guys...

dot and feather... a
black guy, a black guy... oh,

another black guy... daddy was
so pissed.

And how does Sailor Moon make
a living these days?

I sell my used panties to old
men online.

It's a tragedy when a beloved
icon is discarded on purpose.

We Cabbage Patch people were
abandoned

as soon as we grew out of our
cute baby stage.

Adoption, my assh*le.

With nobody to care for them,

the Cabbage Patch community fell
on hard times.

Perhaps the greatest tragedy of
all befell Chatty Cathy.

After witnessing a mob crime,

the mafia tried to make sure she
couldn't talk.

They cut out my tongue,

but I would not be
intimidated.

I testified anyway.

Oh, good for you.

I wish I was dead.

Let's never again forget that
those girls' toys of yesteryear

should be treated with the
dignity

and respect that they deserve.

Am I done yet?

You'll know, Chatty Cathy.

You'll know.

# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #

# Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk #

# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #

# Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk #

# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #

# Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk #

Ba-gawk! Bawk.