04x09 - Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles

[bunniefuu]

Pazoozoo, you ungrateful gargoyle!

I put you through college,
and this is how you repay me?

Let's get this gargoyle
hunt on the road.

Driving gloves, driving goggles,
driving thong. There!

Maybe I should drive.

You? A woman?

I'm trying to catch a monster,
not find the quickest route to the mall.

Let me just adjust the seat.

My God, he's gonna do it! Everyone,
seat belts to maximum buckling!

Pazoozoo?

Pazoozoo?

Hey, Grandpa!
Move your wrinkly old keister!

Shut up!

For heaven's gate!

This ship can do percent light speed.
Why are we going miles an hour?

Because we're in a hurry, that's why!

Plus, you have the high beams on!

I can't quite read the sign.

Pazoozoo?

Pazoozoo!

Oh, it's : . We can still catch
the early-Bird dinner special.

Aren't we looking for your gargoyle?

My what?

Hello, Mavis. Surprised to
see me back again so soon?

Mavis is dead.

I expect you'll want to see my angry,
crotchety, grandpa discount card?

Sir, this card has expired.
But it's good for a lifetime.

Well, yours expired.

Oh, Lord! Teeth do not belong
in your pants, professor.

Well, I can't keep them in my mouth,
they're nuclear-Powered!

Ow! It bit my finger.

No! No! It's tasted human blood!

Mm. Damn good meat.

Professor, we've talked it over,
and everybody thinks you're too old.

We've decided to do the merciful thing,
and have you youth-A-Sized.

Dear God, no!

Relax, professor. Youth-A-Sizing
is a trendy new spa treatment.

It's this season's
shark-Cartilage enema!

But I like being old!

I don't have to talk to my parents,
no one asks me to help move their stuff

I don't need to understand
today's "edgy" TV sitcoms.

Okay, okay. We're not gonna force you
until I finish this sentence. Get him!

Ah! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh-Ooh-Ooh!

My thong!

Hi! I'm Heather,
your personal youth-A-Sizer.

Let's get started with a nice
botulism treatment, shall we?

Go to hell, Heather!
Oh .

In small doses, botulism toxin
tightens and tones the facial muscles...

Instead of k*lling you in the
most horrible fashion imaginable.

Give me back my floppy face!

Careful with the giblets!

You're still retaining a
lot of grump in these joints.

More pressure.

Ahhh.

Since this is such a serious case of old,
we'll try our strongest treatment:

A soothing, full-Body
bath in searing hot tar.

Sir, it's not necessary
or wise to be naked.

You sound just like
my tennis instructor.

The tar blisters the age
right out of the body...

In what top scientists
suspect is a miracle.

I don't have time for this!

I have to go buy a single piece of
fruit with a coupon and then return it...

Making people wait behind
me while I complain.

He still sounds sort of old,
sort of real old.

Step aside, lady.

Like everything else in life...

Pumping is just a primitive,
degenerate form of bending.

Whoa. Whoa-Oa. Whoa!

Come on, Bender!
Pump harder! Harder!

I'm trying as hard as I can.

Harder, damn you!

Well, that was an utter waste of time.

Professor, it worked!
You look young enough to be my father!

Poodle spit!

Fifty-Three years old?

Oh, now I'll need a fake
ID to rent ultra-p*rn.

Cool, professor.
We should go out and celebrate!

Dear Lord! You've all reverted
to your childhood forms!

Hooray!
I'm a teenage heartthrob again.

While I try to restore
our normal ages...

I expect you all to go about your
jobs like responsible professionals.

It wasn't me, Mr. F. It was Amy.

Stop it, Amy!
You stink!

You know you did it!

Quiet! Quiet, I say!

We're here to take my little
stub of a husband home.

Hermes, say goodbye to Mr. Farnsworth.

Goodbye, Mr. Dumbsworth!

Hey! This is my chance to
spend time with my parents too.

But your parents are
gross sewer mutants. Ow!

When I was an orphan...

I wished I could grow
up with my mom and dad.

And now, thanks to being
hurled backwards in time--

That's not what happened!
Shut up and go live with your parents!

It's gonna be totally awesome, Mom!

You and me can bake, and argue about
my hairstyle hiding my pretty face...

And if some kid picks on me,
my dad can b*at up his dad!

Can't I just b*at up the kid?

Well, okay, Leela.

If you think you can put up with
your father, then welcome home.

We'll try to respect your
independence and freedom.

No! I want the real teen experience.

Chores, curfew, the works!

Fine, sweetiekins, we'll be
the strictest parents ever.

Now, let's all have some
tequila to celebrate!

Dad, I'm underage!

Oh, right.
Here's a silly straw.

Oh, my Amy is sweet little girl again.

This like a mother's dream!

Bad dream, that is. At this rate,
I'm never gonna get a grandchild!

Maybe she not grown up,
but she sure grown out. She fat!

Dad, if you're gonna make fat
jokes till I get cute again...

I'm just gonna stay in my room!

Stay in room? You so fat,
you gonna stay all around room.

I've got to find a way to escape
the horrible ravages of youth.

Suddenly, I'm going to the bathroom
like clockwork, every three hours.

And those jerks at Social
Security stopped sending me checks.

Now I have to pay them!

I'm tired of you yapping!

All you ever do is complain.
You never try to make things better.

Well, I'm running away
from this dead-End family.

I know there's a place for
people like me, with new ideas.

There has to be!
Fine. Get going.

Oh, I'm going, and you're gonna be all,
"Where's Bender? I miss Bender! "

We won't know that until you leave.

Oh, I'm leaving.
There's the door.

I'll be good.

Ah. Do you have to shed
your skin on the couch?

What do we live in, a zoo?

I'm getting the doorbell.

For me?

Hello, sir. It's a lovely
evening you have tonight.

I'm here to pick up your daughter.

Hi, Fry. I like your blazer.

Thanks. These aren't pockets,
they're just flaps.

I put my money in my sock.

So where are you taking
my daughter tonight?

A movie.
A movie, ma'am.

Well, whatever you're really doing,
don't wake us if you get in after .

Dad, you're being too lenient again.

I have to be back by .

Okay, okay! You're the boss.

No, I'm not!

I'd like a sewer burger,
but without the rat feces.

What, are you on a diet?

Leela, you look hot.

Jeez, Moose. Just dump me right
in front of her, why don't you.

Moose, Mandy, this is my friend Fry...

From the surface.

Oh, so this is the famous Fry.
What is he...

Like, the biggest loser on the surface
so he has to hang out in the sewer?

They're onto me!
Hey, come on

Let's act like grownups here.

Wanna race?
Yeah.

Theres. The world's drinkings
water is safes for another days.

Whoas! Cripe!

A tapeworm!

We missed the turn!
We'll never catch them.

Yes, we will. This sewer goes right
under Planet Express, and it's p.m.

The devil take this predictable colon!

All right!
Whoo-Hoo!

Leela, you can stop winning now, we won!

I can't reach the hand brake!

That's detention.

And then a giant tapeworm
tried to play us for chumps...

But we totally dissed Moose.

Yes, I'd like to meet this Moose.

But in the meantime, I have good news!

I may have solved our age problem.

Yay!

It seems the youth-A-Sizing tar was
saturated with time-Altering kronatons.

A thin layer is still
stuck to our DNA...

As well as Bender's robo, or "RNA. "

Question.
Yes?

You stink.

Yes, yes. Anyhow, I've designed
an oil-Eating bacterium...

That should take the tar right off.

Come on. Let's go tell Leela
so we can grow up together.

Thanks, professor,
but I don't want the treatment.

Don't you understand, you little nitwit?

Unless you're treated soon,
the only way to restore your true age...

Will be to grow into it,
just as God intended.

He has a point, honey.
What about your job and your friends?

Do you really want to
abandon your old life?

My old life wasn't as glamorous
as my web page made it look.

All I ever wanted was
to grow up here with you.

Please?
Well, if it's what you really want.

It is, I know it is.

I'll miss you, Leela.

I'll come back and visit
when I'm all grown up.

Bring beer.
No beer till you finish your tequila!

The age-Restoring microbes are ready.

Everyone into the
bacterial spew chamber.

Yes, everyone do the same thing.

Initiating controlled infection.

I'm no doctor, but this
machine guy could use a lozenge.

Ah, poo! We're even younger!

Damn! The bacteria
pigged out on the tar...

And now they're getting freaky deaky...

Spreading kronatons
throughout our systems!

We're getting younger by the minute!

What? I'm gonna revert
through all my larval stages?

Word. We'll all keep getting
younger and younger...

Until we suffer a fate worse than death:

Pre-Life! Then death.

I've got to stop this reverse
aging before we all shrivel up...

And suffer the agony of un-Birth!

Think, you disco duck, think!

What's that squirmal under your shirt?

Oh. Get off me, you parasitic lamprey!

Oh, sure, you need all your blood!

Would you all chill?

I can't think with you
kids cramping my style!

I need a babysitter.

Okay, quiet time.

I know, everyone pretend a goblin ate
your tongues, and I'll read you a story.

Yeah, a story!

I can't see from down here, I can't!

There.

Today's story is from Muteen Magazine.

Who would you rather hear about,
Four-Legged Chachi or Tentacle Chachi?

I want to hear a space story!

It's kind of a baby book,
but okay. Let's see.

"Snow White Dwarf and
the Seven Red Dwarfs."

"Charlotte's Tholian Web."
"The Fountain of Aging."

The Fountain of Aging? Hm.

It is just a legend.

Still, they called the Tooth Fairy a
legend, and now he's head of the FBl!

What's up? Kids ready?

Yay! Professie's back!

Ew. You smell like smoking.

And drinking!

I had a few beers,
but I'm cool to drive.

I wish I could come with
you to say goodbye...

Before you all turn
back into grownups...

But I'm grounded for
knocking the school over.

Who cares, Leela?
It was just a public school.

Now, go with your friends, please.

No! A grounded teenager
must be confined to her room!

Until she sneaks out.

When I grow up,
I wanna be a steam shovel!

According to this, the fountain
is located in the darkest...

Most ancient region of space,
just past Teddy Bear Junction.

Teddy Bear Junction,
the worst scum-Hole in the galaxy.

This solar system is, like, way old!

Look how high the asteroid belt
is pulled up on that planet!

News flash:

Everything's getting older the closer
we get to that ancient, burnt-Out sun.

Dude, the Fountain of Aging
must be on the sun itself!

Shut up! I was gonna say that.

We've got to hurry.
The kids have only one change of pants.

We gotta be real, real careful
to stay in just long enough...

To make us our right ages again.

Zoidberg, get out of there!

The current!
It's too much already! Help!

Jeepers!

Zoidberg is dead!
Zoidberg's brother is dead.

Funny story. I just reverted to the
age when my siblings budded from me...

And my brother Norman split
off and jumped in the fountain.

He always had to be
the center of attention!

Let him go.

Oh, no!

Quick! Get them into the fountain!

Thanks for the help, Leela.

Once we're growed up,
you can go back to your family.

We'll never bother you again.

Well, you could bother me a little.

It's working! Hooray!

I can't hold on!

I'm coming in after you!

No, Leela!
You can't give up your childhood.

You'll never have another chance at it!

We did it!
We're the right ages again!

I think I might be a
couple years younger!

Oh, me too!

Help!

I'm still in mid-Peril, you clods!

He's too far out!
We can't reach him!

With my last breath,
I curse Zoidberg!

Pazoozoo!

You came back to me.

Are you back to your
original age, professor?

Even older! Huzzah!

I'm sorry you had to give
up being a kid, Leela.

Well, I guess every adult wants
to be a kid again sometimes.

But I worked hard to be the person I am.

The fabulous person.
With friends like you guys.

Fabulous friends.

And I'm really happy
I have that life back.

And you, my faithful fiend,
how can I ever repay you?

And that, little one,
is how Papa gained his freedom.

Now, bonne nuit.

Bonne nuit to you all.