Maybe Baby (2000)

[bunniefuu]

I won't be until after lunch.
No, I'm not sick. f*cking.

Visions. Energy.
Dedication.

Three career-promoting words.

Here are the other two:
"Listen to me."

Things are starting to change.

Change with them -

or leave your pass
and disappear -

the best TV company in the world.

Soft thinking
is the job of the sheep.

The fox collects the creams from the top.

Second, the best
is not an option.

Receive the message!

- Sorry. So?
- My egg is ready.

- f*ck me now.
- f*ck you? I'm just meeting.

Sorry, Nigel. One colleague
has not yet received the message.

Sorry.

EMERGENCY EXIT

BABY FEVER

Good morning.

Did the lady order a pan service?

Yes! Yes!

Yes!

- What the hell have you been?
- At an important meeting.

Horizontal deep penetration.

Good.

You haven't missed much.
Some idiot sounded the alarm.

When trying to make a baby -

a woman's egg is like
cooking an egg. Timing is difficult.

You just have to seize the
opportunity.

- Sorry but now was the right time.
- It's a pleasure to help.

- Isn't it beautiful?
- Yes, I think so.

Not comparable to our wedding.

Hey? Quick "I want"
and snacks in the park?

Picnic and sonnet.

The most important thing is not
how, but with whom you get married.

- I have been lucky.
- So do I.

Do you still feel
lucky? Despite everything?

I'm lucky because of everything.

You are everything to me.
In adversity and adversity.

I hoped it would work.
The church was close by.

Maybe next month.

- You promised to try.
- I can't write a diary.

It is not a diary
but a letter to yourself.

Maybe if we wrote
about our thoughts and feelings -

we would not feel so
at the mercy of destiny.

I didn't come up with anything to write.

I'm not going to talk to Sam about it.
It also applies to him -

and he handles the
matter in his own way.

He bought this lovely William.

The diary has helped me.

If you cry,
I write about my thoughts.

However, as I write
about my thoughts, I begin to cry.

No dice. My imagination is
as fruitless as my testicle.

Do not say that.

I'm sorry, Lucy.
I did not mean it.

It was a silly joke.
Everything is going to be alright.

Wait a minute,
I'll see if you ovulate first.

- I was thinking of studying accounting.
- He's like a short Brad Pitt.

- We would save a lot of money.
- Short red-haired Brad Pitt.

- What if you bump into fat?
- I'll take the baby to work.

No can do! No
milk leaking breasts are needed here.

Under European law, you are
obliged to arrange treatment.

Shut up, you fool!

I'm a vegetarian
and heroin use have finished.

I'm not on chicken
but on tofur granules.

Ota kokokuvaa.

- Heroin stuff before 9 p.m.
- The new boss wants that.

- Drug jokes to the top.
- You should like Nigel.

- Should make more movies.
- Rewind to the vomiting site.

I thought you wanted to write a
movie. Here is your chance.

Lucy says
little Cuthbert is wonderful.

He cannot speak, drink milk
or control his gut.

Hello?

- Those don't work here.
- Duty calls.

I have to leave control in
your hands, George.

It's a matter of care. Cut for
a couple of minutes, then on the beer.

This is Cuthbert.

I'll call him a plum,
you'll probably see why.

I would laugh, but I would tear the
stitches that were put in after I got him.

You should have greased your
perineum with Vaseline.

- Is there an animal in that?
- Just a little chicken broth.

It is not worth eating. Decaying
meat stays in the intestine for a month.

You can't get pregnant
if you're full of rotten meat!

- How's work going, Sam?
- He hates his job.

- You think life flies past you.
- Relationships require sacrifices.

Women sacrifice the most.
Now think of Lucy, too.

- You didn't graduate, did you?
- I read Shakespeare by distance learning.

I don't have a brain anymore,
just a mushroom full of milk.

If you have a problem,
Sam, it's up to you.

It's not anyone else's fault. You must
not stand in the way of your happiness.

My hands just miss.
I have to look at my innermost being.

But I don't have one.

- Write about something you know.
- I do not know anything about anything.

- Write about your feelings.
- I do not feel anything.

That's God's way of saying -

- you are not a writer.
- Don't listen to him.

I'm serious, Lucy.
Western culture is the only -

who has lost all his
fertility rituals.

The only culture where the
birth rate is declining. Hello!

- Now we have to... Listen!
- I'm listening.

We need to harness the
ancient power and mystique of your vag*na.

The air is full of
pagan spirits.

There are them everywhere. Why not
take advantage of them?

Court! Court!

Do not laugh.

It may have worked. I can't
leave anything untried.

Druscilla talked about
alternative therapies.

Visualization group,
aromatherapy massage.

If you f*ck a character in Dorset on the
penis can get pregnant.

Is there anything closer, like
Brent Cross?

Primrose Hill has
some good power lines.

Let's find out one thing: I
guess you're not going crazy?

Do you?

Cheers, Carl. We are glad
you decided to choose us.

Thank you, Sheila. After this silly
celebrity chore -

I have felt
more product than the actor.

I want to grow up as an actor,
take on challenges.

The dream of a
summer night is made Welsh in North Wales.

At least it's challenging.

I want a job that is in London,
mostly in English.

Or en francais... Tai italiaanoksi.

No niin, Carl... Welcome.

Should I dress like this?
We just look like Addams Family.

We need to bring out our
ancient sexuality.

Like timeless horny animals.

- For God's sake.
- What?

I stepped to largest dog
a row, upon which I have seen.

There is no guarantee of a mortal
dog. I sank to my knees.

- Shut up, Sam!
- An elephant who escaped from the zoo.

I didn't like these shoes.

- Isn't it beautiful?
- Yes it is.

This makes you feel so small.

But what we came here to do -

is as large
as the universe itself.

New life, Sam.

- It was wonderful.
- The knees just hurt.

It is reminiscent of a scene from a
Midsummer Night's Dream.

- Is there sex under the power line?
- No, I mean magic.

Hermia and Lysander fall asleep in
the enchanted forest next to each other.

- Do you remember that point?
- Twilight.

I remember reading
sonnets to me.

I tried to impress.
You don't go to that thread anymore.

Pants on the leg
so we are not arrested.

Film is the art of the
millennium. British films are in.

Last year, three films
gained popularity in the United States.

What am I trying to say?
Can you guess?

- We should make movies.
- Thank you, George.

I need scripts,
smart and provocative.

Hands that define
the spirit of time. Follow the signs.

"Thank you, George."

Come now.

The green light is on.
My heat is optimal.

- I guess I didn't interrupt anything?
- Not really.

Let's get started then.

Where has it gone?

Yes, it still excites me about this.

- Is anything going on there?
- Certainly not if you ask about it.

In the morning, a
towel could have been hung on it!

Anyone gets it
when they don't want it.

The door knobs of the bouncy castle
are also harder.

- Do I breathe a little life into it?
- If it doesn't hurt.

- Well done, my orh.
- I think it should be taken care of.

Do you have to land around? Do my
sperm just swim downhill?

We must use all means.

- Do you have to leave already?
- I have to go to work too.

- BBC's main lunches.
- It feels so mechanical.

According to Druscilla, a gentle massage
promotes fertility.

Drusc has a crazy witch-akka.
Where are my socks?

It would be nice if there was
more mystique and romance in life.

Right, mysticism. Gotcha.

Hi, I'm Sam Bell.
How are you? Nice to meet you.

Sam... If the BBC is serious about
producing comedies -

Kiss My Ark is the company
you want to work with.

- Two words: Zeit and Geist.
- Tomorrow's comedy today.

Well done. That's what the
new production manager wants.

Sick Junkie is a comedy about
just ordinary young people.

Everyone is a junkie.
Welsh, Irish, Scots.

We follow
their weekdays for a week.

They cannon heroin in their
eyes, giving birth in toilets.

They get AIDS and look for an
intact vein in their genitals.

k*ll a social worker,
buy stuff for a**l sex.

The stuff has been mixed with
bleach and they will die.

Do abortions.
They are being r*ped by the police.

Do I understand correctly now?
So this should be a comedy?

It's a full comedy,
but based on reality.

What really happens, and
no escapist shit.

Thank you.

It's not about whether I
shouldn't. Not at all.

- "I hate" is closer to the truth.
- Well that's good.

- Not in this case.
- What do you mean?

I don't think the BBC's job is to
fund cynical stories -

depicting real life -

so that the fashion pellets that make them
can jump to work in the US.

That hell of an English soap.

Do you want a movie or not?

I will contact.

I wish Sam was more romantic.

I don't want any Carl Phips -
not that he's a Pull -

However, he smiles so lovely
even though I am a poor thing.

You look great, Lucy,
if I may say so.

After all, I was just wearing
a short skirt and a tight top.

I looked awful.
Stupid to claim anything else.

Am I massaging you now?

Rose and iris
promote estrogen production.

Rub gently but vigorously
on the back and back.

- Rub gently. I'm not dough.
- I'm thinking about something else.

- Before, you liked my ass.
- It's not a question.

- I just have worries.
- So you don't like me.

You'd be sure to rub the
oil on Cameron Diaz's butt.

- Maybe, in theory.
- Do so. Don't let me stop.

- I'm not going to do that.
- But she's charming to you.

It doesn't matter. Charm
does not mean infidelity.

- So you want other women.
- I don't want to.

The fact that men are faithful
is proof of love.

If you're about desperate,
then just let go.

I book tickets for the Frenzy of Love
show at the Barbican.

I am writing an essay for a
Shakespeare course.

For God's sake, do
you do it voluntarily?

- You don't want to join?
- It would be nicer to watch the paint dry.

Sam...

I would like to talk about our sex life
and having a child.

Basically the same thing.
That doesn't bother me.

We have a problem.
It's time to go to the doctor.

Psychologically, it's a
pretty big step.

We may have to admit
we don't have children.

We don't have children.

Alan likes him.

- I need to give a sperm sample.
- I do not want to know.

Don't sober up. You have produced a
giant baby, Cuthbert.

Sperm is like a fart.
It doesn't matter if it's yours.

If only I fail and I find out
there are no coincidences in the swamps.

- m*therf*cker!
- How do you know?

I just found out you loved
Ewan Proclaimer.

You proud assh*le too.
Proclaimer is the latest peak.

He is a God-given antidote
to the bull produced by your department.

- Why did you love him?
- Because his idea was bad.

I made a favorite decision.
I guess that's my job?

Yes, it's your job.
For now.

You are jealous.
Where is your own script?

Where is Sam Bell's masterpiece?
Nowhere.

In the same place you
are and where you are going.

I messed up my cause at work.

- I might lose my job.
- Oh no.

Maybe everything will turn out for the best
. Maybe it's an opportunity.

- An opportunity to do what you want.
- I want to write again.

I just don't know where.

What happened?

- Did that hurt?
- I fell with my bike...

Don't touch my son!
You must not touch my son.

Don't be paranoid now!
He was just trying to help.

Damn.

For some, the world revolves only
around their beloved children.

I wouldn't be like that.

- Except, of course, you would.
- Probably.

If I had the chance.

- Now I came up with!
- What?

A topic to write about.

I should write about us.
A comedy about a childless couple.

Of course! A modern
tragicomic story -

life and its absence.

Sad jokes, they are the best.

About sperm tests and
imagination exercises.

The couple's sex life breaks down, the
woman only thinks of the baby.

- She cries when she sees the baby clothes.
- No, Sam.

- Don't like the idea?
- How can you even consider that?

No, you're right.
It was a silly idea.

- I just wouldn't stand it.
- Why should I.

But you said
I should look inside.

I did not ask to make our
tragedy a laughing stock.

That's right, you don't.

What could Carl read
at the gala for the warriors?

You know Shakespeare, don't you?

It must not be too gloomy.
The subject is love.

The gala being televised should
be positive and sexy.

- Don't Sheila now.
- Don't forget to think about your career.

- Lucy?
- Would an eighteenth sonnet fit?

It's a little sweet -

but the most beautiful love poem
ever written.

- How does it go?
- You must have heard it.

Sua summer day would I compare

But you are gentler

Spring wind buds grate

And summer time is too short

May the eye of heaven burn hot

So often its splendor dims

And everything beautiful
will eventually disappear

Coincidentally or through destiny

But your eternal summer

Never fade away

You never go in the shadow of death

When you grow into eternal beauty

- Wrong number.
- As long as the person is breathing

So live this And give you life

You're about to turn me
back straight, Phipps.

Thanks for the tip, Lucy.

You are so wonderful...
When you help these orphaned children.

So.

- Are you going to sleep soon?
- Soon.

Don't monitor too late.
There is an early meeting tomorrow.

How could I forget?

- Do you want me to help?
- Thank you for the offer -

but the seriousness of the situation
requires the expertise of an expert.

- Alright. Then think of me.
- Women!

Can a man be unfaithful when
he is alone?

You think Cameron Diaz.

Did I! According to some psychologists
, a lively imagination -

is an important part of a
monogamous relationship.

I will not discuss this further.

According to the invitation, Steffi Graf,
the girls of Corrs and Baby Spice.

I'm sorry
about the film-from the idea -

- but I guess you understand?
- Sure, of course.

Good night.

- Am I taking this to the bathroom?
- Yes please.

Tomorrow I'll give you a sperm sample

And the cup is waiting on the shelf

Tomorrow I'll give you a sperm sample

And the cup is waiting on the shelf

I sit in the bathroom

And I pollute myself

Less than I hoped.

- Did you get everything to come?
- As much as I could.

What a disappointment.
Like a little bird sneezing.

If only I would continue it
with water and flour.

Would not it? Best left. It must
be taken within 50 minutes.

In pants, it stays warm.
I hope I don't get under the car.

Bye then.

Taxi!

- I have an important meeting.
- I have sperm in my ass.

Sam Bell.
I have delivery.

Let it go deep... I got it.

Good morning.

So for the sake of the Creator.

When he was younger,
he was a master of masturbation.

Now he is like being
hanged from his testicles.

But does Sam support you?
I guess he'll take your needs into account?

Of course.
She is wonderful, in her own way.

- Look, there's Carl Phipps!
- Where?

Sorry, my plate is dirty.
I guess that's my main course.

This then is a film art
genius who thinks that I am -

"tasteless, cynical
exploiter."

- So the fax arrived.
- Ewan Proclaimer, George.

- Hey.
- What's up dude.

When was the last time you
wrote, my backward Englishman?

You never, right?
And why?

Because you are a talented piston.

A parasite that fattens the
ass to the spikes of others -

and wishes himself a better
f*cking hell.

About well no one
could say that, dude.

- It was a great hand, of course...
- It's shit and I threw it away.

I already knew it before you
but nonetheless -

My shit shit on
your shit because I even write something.

You tell
shit writers they write shit.

You're pretty pathetic.

Bastard.

- I will disappear.
- I like him.

Great color choice, by the way.

- You look first.
- This is not a final exam.

The result of the blood test is good.
I was apparently ovulating.

Then the fault is in me.
I am a eunuch.

Look, I can't.

"Samuel Bell's sperm sample:
30% lazy."

"Lazy"?
Is that the word they use?

Why not "relaxed"
or "unhurried"?

- Casual sperm would be rockier.
- "Low mobility."

That's already outrageous!

- "41% are moving in the wrong direction."
- They're in a plastic jar!

There is no right direction in that.
Sperm is lazy and stupid.

For years I
stumbled back and forth towards my cock.

"Assessment: Normal."
So here it is said.

Your sperm is no worse
than anyone else.

Great!

The score is now 1-0.
Sperm test passed.

Developable but
good result at this point.

Would you go for lunch?

Carl Phipps came into the office
and was as gloomy as Byron.

He was like a gloomy lord whose
castle has been deprived of him.

Her aftershave
smells like Kanerva!

I was as cool as a file.

You are nice when you ask,
but I'm here alone today.

Sheila has bronchitis
. As a medicine, set 40.

He coughed something
that looked like a pond dweller.

Joanna is in Los with Trudi Hobson
. Some action movie.

A sequel
called Shit 2 or something.

- Everyone has the right to a lunch break.
- Yes, it is.

I'm celebrating. An American
big movie. Want to chat.

Aromatic oils...
I took the course once.

Therapeutic massage.
I have an official qualification.

In Shiatsu
and reflexology as well.

I don't get enough of
alternative therapies. Beautiful.

This is really nice,
but if you want to party -

Don't want to party with someone
important?

That's what I do.

Creator! My neck starts
to itch again.

As a teenager, if the boy approached, the
neck was immediately reddish.

What do you mean, Carl?

Unbelievable that I write like this,
but he caressed my palm -

which, as far as I know, means,
"I would love to put you now."

And why do birds have
such naughty names?

Haarapääsky, punarinta...

Is he more fun or have I
just stopped resisting?

Lucy and I are having a post-
intercourse test.

After having sex, the
doctor looks at the aftermath.

Why do you think
I want to know that?

Your doctor will see you now.

Pooter is a medical student.
Does it matter if he watches?

Of course I want
some silly teenager -

tuck open the applied vag*na.

No, of course not.

Good.

This, Pooter,
we do not need today.

This may be necessary later.

And this is necessary.

On a moped, I save 17 minutes
every day. Admittedly, I say that.

See how everything is...

Try to relax, Lucy.

Try to relax yourself with a
trumpet in your ass.

I try.

That was it.

There is now a little slipperiness at
the lower end, due to the ointment.

Don't be embarrassed, it was me.

- A children's program?
- Exactly. Tea water for children.

We aim to develop light
entertainment in this area.

You want me out, but this
is cheaper than firing.

Hello? Melinda!
Now doesn't really fit...

Oh no.

Suspected meningitis.
We will only receive the information later.

Nothing is known now.
Thanks for coming.

I was right.
I lost my job.

We don't have to starve,
I move on to children's programs.

- Melinda may lose her child.
- I know. What can we do?

We do nothing.

If we are childless,
there is no need to endure such a thing.

- Yes, think positively!
- I'm not that...

How else did it go?

- How did the test go?
- Well, it went well.

Medically, we are compatible.

Hey, Lucy.
Sheila and Joanna are...

You have cried. What's wrong?

My friend's child may die.
Suspected meningitis.

Come sit here.

The majority of suspected
cases are just that:

Doubts.

- How do you know that?
- I've starred in the doctor sometimes.

In these cases, the symptoms are
often quite vague.

Sometimes the right cause doesn't
figure out, the baby just gets better.

Babies are tenacious. Brave...

Although they don't look like it.

Carl, I...

I like you, Lucy.
Too much, I guess.

From now on, I will try to keep
more distance between us.

That's the best thing.

If you want to chat...

Okay?

Do you want a piece of cake,
Mrs. Turriainen?

Us us.
Hall hall.

I don't like that the Turrians
live a completely heterosexual life.

What do you think, Sam?
You're the boss. You decide.

We need to negotiate with
the target group.

Well. Thank you for coming.

You make us a
television channel.

The BBC is yours.

So... Do you have any comments?

Anything.

Is there any other little damage?

That's what you see.
They really like you.

Why are you awake?
What are you writing?

I didn't get to sleep and thought to
write in my diary.

As you said: A
letter to myself.

- Can I read it?
- Absolutely not.

I know it's private.
I would die if you read mine.

I'm going to sleep now.

Some have sex on a
lime man's penis.

- The heat has finally dropped.
- That's good!

Maybe I'm reminded like this
that I can't live without him.

That's fantastic.
Gloomy, dramatic...

- When did you write this?
- You know how creative I am.

Sorry I'm late.

- Cuthbert is reportedly safe.
- Not from me.

He returned my Baumler suit.

Everyone has liked your hand.

How does Lucy feel?
This is pretty personal.

- As the back side of the pads below.
- Miracle that you can write.

He has not given permission.
He asked to forget the story.

- He will k*ll you.
- But I couldn't forget the thing.

I hate my job.
Have you seen the Turrias?

Cuthbert doesn't want to watch it.

The script is the best
thing I've done in years.

Lucy understands.
That's my story, too.

Another one? I can't anymore.

Forced. The test tube in fertilization
has its own tests.

It is not the end of the world.
You don't have to f*ck a hedgehog.

I'm
undergoing hysterosalpingography!

I masturbate in public.
What could be more awful?

Application and scraping,
cold metal objects -

and be pumped full of air.

UK every doctor
staring at her p*ssy on a daily basis.

Oh, you're invoking that woman thing.

Will William have fleas?
You scrape yourself all the time.

It just tickles me at certain
points. Probably an allergy.

Nowadays, he
just wants to write in his diary.

I should be happy
when he deals with his feelings -

If only he would share
them with me.

You don't have
to f*ck a hedgehog.

- Whether you are suddenly excited.
- I just want to get acquainted.

I didn't even know
what laparoscopy was before.

Damn.

I forgot to shave my bikini line.

That sounds ridiculous,
but I want to look good.

- That's good. That's fun.
- It's not fun, Sam.

- The whole thing is humiliating.
- Of course. Sorry.

The bed is ready,
Mrs. Bell.

- Wish luck.
- Good luck.

Laparoscopy, shave bikini line.
Looks good.

You have great guts.
Beautiful, really beautiful.

And a large colon too.
Definitely works great.

Large, porous stools.
Well done.

What do we have here?

Endometriosis,
abdominal attachment -

malignant fibroids,
cyst, abdominal disease -

- congenital defect in the womb...
- Dear time!

And you don't have any of them.
And excellent intestines.

You've just ovulated,
which is great news.

Omelettes cannot be
made without eggs.

By omelet I mean baby.

That was it. Everything looks
good, there is nothing wrong.

I'm not pregnant.

Except you're not pregnant.
We don't know why you don't -

- but that is good news.
- Is it?

You could have had a
Pavarotti-sized cyst.

Everything feminine should have been
removed from the sides to the knees.

It is called unexplained
infertility.

Or in technical terms:
No damn smell.

Very ordinary space, indeed.

In the world of unintentional
infertility, therefore.

- Is it too wonderful?
- No, that's really good.

- It's personal.
- It becomes more personal.

You dramatize your life,
you and Lucy.

- What happens when he finds out?
- Most ideas don't come true.

If this is filmed,
I will think about it then.

Until then, it's a crazy dream
and we have permission to dream.

Is not it true?

The door is open.

Hey.

Welcome.

I included an agreement
you wanted to discuss with me.

That's what I said to Sheila.

It's a standard contract,
quite simple.

It is a standard contract.

- I am not interested in the agreement.
- Sheila said that...

I know what I said.

- What do you mean?
- I wanted to be with you two.

- I'm married, I love my husband.
- You're lonely.

- I'm not.
- You are, and so am I.

And...

I've tried to stay away from -

but I can not.

Please stop...

Make love to me.
I'm in love with you.

You don't mean that.

I mean.

I can not.

You are lovely and beautiful
but I love my husband.

It's not exciting,
but nothing is forever.

Is not it?

A sad way of thinking.

I'm sorry, I have to
go. Are you calling a taxi?

Toki, totta kai.

I'm sorry, Carl -

but I love my husband.

I won't meet Carl anymore.
There is such a bad conscience.

I don't want Carlia.

I want Sam,
he's the only one I want.

And that we have a child.

Dear God, if you read this:

Let the in vitro fertilization
succeed.

I so desperately want to
have a baby.

There was rubbish in my eyes.

There are problems with the hand.
It's too manly.

- "Manly?"
- Colin masturbation is fun -

but Rachel worries us.
He is too superficial.

He has good replicas,
but the perspective is masculine.

Would we get a woman as a
second screenwriter?

Have you gone crazy?

Rachel can be improved,
it will be arranged.

- That's my story! Me and Lucyn.
- Exactly.

You have to tell Lucy.
Blame the female writer for everything.

No one robs my script.

Then destroy your marriage. But a
woman's voice needs to be included.

Leave it to me.
Was there anything else?

Would not it? Thank you.

Whatever happens, I am going to stay a
mentally healthy woman.

I read to my child
Beatrix Potter and Winnie the Pooh.

The gear cannot be changed
if the legs are crossed.

I found myself looking at
baby clothes again.

Sometimes when everything
feels overwhelming -

I pray.

Hei, Lucy.

Was it a nice bath?

Good.

- Are you well?
- Yes, just fine.

You haven't had dandruff before.

Psoriasis.
The skin is dry and flaky.

It cannot be cured.
Arrested Development.

It often strikes when there is stress.

Do you have stress?

No!

So nothing.
I have no worries.

- Action!
- I want freedom.

- I demand security.
- I'll do what I want.

Tajuutteks too?

Across. Rampant reign.

Let's go to lunch.

Tamponimainos. To pay the bills.

I got your hands on it. You can be a
shit dude, but talented.

Needs healing,
but I will film it.

When do I get the rest of the hand?

About six weeks. This
should stop ovulation.

In a month and a half
we can be older.

It's best to start hiding
breakable valuables.

Cuthbert did not
intentionally break the model. He crawls.

When not screaming,
Shit or vomit.

- That looks awful.
- I think it's the highlight of the day!

You better get used to it.
You have to prick me too.

That would be a funny scene.

What did you say?

If anyone could see
it, it would be funny.

If someone saw from the window.

This thorny thing is great.
We show a peak on the screen -

which is not a heroin spike.
So original and liberating.

It has not been done for years.
It could be more fun.

Even if the hormones mix
with Colin's hepo store -

and Rachel would prick
them instead of dr*gs?

Have fun. Except that
Colin doesn't use dr*gs.

- Would not it? Are you kidding me?
- En.

Fascinating. So is it true
that you practiced pricking?

- It's true.
- Absolutely insane.

Adults learn to use the syringe.

Totally unbelievable.

The orange did not seem
to feel pain.

It shouldn't hurt if I do
it quickly and decisively.

Are you ready?

One two Three...

The hallways pulsate with repressed
sexual energy.

Love channels with doors. Add
light to make it look sterile.

Absolute umbilical cord but
cold, calcified and dead.

How is the division of roles going?
It's starting to be in a hurry.

The actors are like cattle.

- How old is the girl? 22? 23?
- Closer to thirty.

Leave it undefined.
She must not be a teenager -

but even somewhat naive looking.

Anything from a mature
19 year old to a young 25.

I'm just asking you to handjob,
not marry a hedgehog.

I'm
undergoing hysterosalpingography!

Thank you...

Tilda Bustle. 175 cm, 75B.
Horse riding, martial arts.

That was touching, Tilda.
You have depth.

Thank you. Next.

- Everyone is too young.
- Isn't that awful?

- Is the place booked for the whole week?
- Is.

Good. Brilliant.

Picture, sketch... Use this.

Good. I can
already see it in the eyes of my soul.

Sam! Such
needles did you use?

It is injected into a muscle,
normally in the buttocks. It hurts.

The name of the film should be
My Ass is an orange.

- Its name is Pure.
- Yes. For now.

Sam is better at his job,
but not at sperm tests.

I took the
draft contract to Carl Phipps today.

I'm afraid it ever since
when he kissed me.

- What are you doing there?
- Nothing!

He had planned it,
but it was my fault too.

I went to the bedroom with him.

He took off his shirt
and asked me to stay.

I said I love my husband
and he called a taxi.

Thank God nothing happened.

At least almost.

Why are you staring at me like that?

One last remark.
If you can.

My sperm is stupid. For years I
stumbled towards my cock.

It's lazy, sluggish,
and doesn't know where to go.

Like a tavern full of men.

That was great, Carl.
Really great.

- It can become something.
- Petra, Justin...

- Brilliant. Bravo.
- Thank you for coming to the test.

No one is too big.
Especially if Ewan directs.

What an assh*le.

- What did you like?
- In view of the threats of rainforests -

was unecological to give
some woody performance.

- Tight, stiff...
- Absolutely convincing my Englishman.

Couldn't you do something about
that psoriasis?

The worst thing about incurable
disease is -

- that everyone knows the cure.
- Cousin had psoriasis.

The naturalist recommended
banana peel for the entire skin.

That's what you see.

- If you told Lucy...
- Dandruff is more pleasant than death.

Lucy has suggested
alternative therapies.

Lots of mucus. Very slimy.

Very warm inside.
Very dry, very slimy.

Too much mucus. Too slimy.

No tomatoes, no meat.
Plus...

Make tea.
I saw a lot three times a day.

Then drink.

I put six needles in
your acupuncture points -

and twelve needles for anus.
It helps to relax.

You are excited.

Unbelievable that all of
this is made into a movie.

Infertility is made into a
film. We got a hand.

I didn't read it, but embarrassed
when I stopped you from writing.

Do you mean I
should have written about it?

I couldn't stand it being
based on our own lives.

It would have been too personal.

One of our actors, Carl
Phipps, plays a husband.

He's definitely good.
Nice and sensitive actor.

- Sam!
- I'm sorry.

Good God, let me get
pregnant. I want so badly.

Would it be better
if I was closer to the camera?

Let's try.

- Good God, let me...
- I thought I'd try a dialect.

Just try. Start:
"You don't even want kids."

- You don't even want kids.
- Theoretically, no.

- It does not work.
- It was just an idea.

Once again, when you're ready.

Theoretically, I -

but as part of you, as an
expression of our love -

I want it more
than anything else.

But if we don't have children,
it doesn't hurt either -

because we still
have each other.

Our love is no less perfect.

This is already almost perfect.

This is an important monologue, Nimnh.

- This is the crux of the story.
- I cried when I read this.

Good girl.

When you are ready.

As I approach the day I see
or don't see a version of myself -

the longing within me takes on an
almost physical form.

Morning sickness due to infertility
and deficiency.

When I see a young
mother, I feel joy and despair.

I don't know why women have such a
deep need to create life -

why they long for
the comfort of their own flesh and blood.

But I know they miss.

Feeling that many women
with children -

never experience.

Woman's deep grief -

and the fear that
children will never get a life.

Well done. You've really
reached the right mood.

We need to talk.
Sam wants his hands back.

- It's mine.
- Is not. We bought it.

- I haven't written the final scene.
- Someone's writing.

I'll k*ll you.
This is my life.

- Is the wife a problem?
- Take it easy.

Sam. Listen.

You have written something wonderful
that needs to be shown to people.

It's your art and
you have to suffer for it.

That's just the way it is.

- You don't realize. It's worse.
- Lucy understands. You are a writer.

I'm not!

I am a plagiarist and a thief.

I am the worst villain of what is.

That woman's voice. I didn't invent
it, I stole it.

- How did you "steal"?
- It's Lucyn.

Lucyko wrote it?

Kind of.

I read his diary.

It was on display. I could not
resist the temptation.

That's even worse.
You have to tell him.

It will not work now. Because of the
treatment, her hormones are mixed up.

He is hypersensitive.

I'll tell him soon. When I know
how the story ends.

Well. I hope your
fitness is good, the journey is long.

Now we have arrived.
Please visit here.

Just jump on it, spawn
off and pull this to your neck.

Back a little sincere, but the
doctor needs to get access.

Now we need your input, Sammy.

Deposit here like this.
I say when the checkout is free.

I'll see you soon.

An uplifting little garment.
Suitable for premiere.

What premiere?
What do you mean?

For any premiere.
Take it easy. It was a joke.

Now to the men's room. Seize
Partner, fist mambo begins.

- I will not make this happen.
- Let's try something.

I know you don't like Carl,
but this is an important scene.

Tell me
how you see it in your mind.

- Ewan?
- Not now.

This is an important moment for Colin.

A lot is at stake.

His wife, who
he really loves a lot -

has gone through six weeks of
humiliating treatment.

The ovaries weigh swollen
and make it sore.

He has traveled through London
to queue with others -

that his most private
part is being invaded.

Because she desperately
wants to have a baby.

Yeah yeah.

If her husband
does not ej*cul*te successfully -

all his troubles
have been in vain.

These pressures on his shoulders -

Colin has to sit
alone in the room -

and to do his duty
to his beloved wife.

Alright.

Of course we can't
show him handjob -

so you have to express
everything without words.

Just like that. Brilliant.
Keep that look.

Action.

The white dot on the screen
is the needle.

I place it next to the follicle.
Now it's bursting.

We remove the fluid
that becomes the egg.

Like so.

Few can see the image itself
as three cells in size.

Maybe these don't get either.

Let's give d*ck and Debbie
positive energy.

- d*ck and Debbie?
- That's what I call them.

- Is that a good idea?
- They are fertilized embryos.

This is already a big step for us.
We have made a lot of progress.

But the chance is one in five.

I know, but the 20 percent
chance isn't bad.

Just think. They were alive
when these pictures were taken.

The two lives we have created.

They just have to
last a few more days.

They just have to persevere.

Share it, d*ck and Debbie.

Share it, d*ck and Debbie.

Well, girls, let
's practice now.

Training!

Well. The back is pricked
and the vaginal needle is in place.

Hopefully, they will realize what
I have done for them.

- One day you may tell.
- The chance is one in five.

Your child would be
one in a million.

When it's all over and
this gets a happy ending -

I want to talk with you.

I love you, Sam.

- Okay, that's great.
- Everything is going to be alright.

Everything will be fine.
It has to.

May I have Sam Bell.
I'm his wife.

This is important.
Where is he?

Let's start with the picture from
behind Rachel.

Try to highlight
his vulnerability.

Let's describe it now.

No jaa...

An uplifting little garment.
Suitable for premiere. Sorry.

No, that was good.

Next -

comes a really touching moment.

A half-crazy, emotionally
disturbed woman -

jokes even though
his heart breaks.

A close-up of this is taken.
Listen, Nimnh -

this scene culminates
his drift into madness.

Trust Sam's script.

A doomed attempt to remain a
mentally healthy woman.

Beatrix Potter
and Winnie the Pooh fantasies.

Sometimes he prays.

She is considering having
sex on the character's penis.

Her sex life is a
series of clinical performances.

Sam, you shit too!
Heartless pig!

I have a menstrual period. We
failed. They are gone.

Of course, don't be embarrassed,
however, he will tell you soon.

- What is happening here?
- Ask him. He tells.

- You have used everything!
- Sorry -

- but we should film.
- Lucy?

Don't come near me. You read
my diary. You stole my thoughts.

You don't have to
read this in a diary:

I hate you!
More than I can imagine!

I don't want to meet you and I
will never talk to you again.

Lucy...

I hope you looked closely.
That is the intensity we are seeking.

Listen, Lucy.
You overreact to failure.

I was going to tell.
Let me explain.

- I really hate you.
- Don't do this.

You read my diary.
I wanted to have your children.

I do not want anymore!

Good thing d*ck and Debbie died.

I didn't see Sam for a long time,
I didn't even apply for a divorce.

I was a little crazy. I
even had a relationship with Carl Phipps.

It could have changed my life.

- Are you nervous?
- A little.

You rarely get a premiere
that you have written yourself.

Sam is noble
when you share it with me.

You are gorgeous. Catherine Walker's
haute couture is so wonderful.

What you said on the phone...

I'm not going to oblige you
to do anything if it turns out...

Lucy dear, don't think about it.
I will do my duty.

I am damn excited.
It's just a surprise.

You said you couldn't...

That's what I thought, but
now it looks like -

maybe I can.

And it's wonderful. It's...
It's really great.

Come lets go.

Shall we?

You've been dreaming
since this little boy.

Good thing you came.
I would have been pathetic with William.

- I don't mind Melinda, do you?
- No, we'll meet him there.

I read your new script.
It's good.

All too. Do you miss him
so much? Stupid question.

This is going to be a fun evening.

The nude seizures were wonderful.
We Celts are passionate.

- I hated every second.
- That's a hit movie!

Of course, my people have talked to the
Bond people -

but I want to jump bungee
jumps with a Peruvian tribe.

Don't get me wrong. The movie was
good. I deserved worse.

God, those
Englishmen are strenuous!

- You look dazzling.
- You look like Rasputin.

Great movie, Sam.

- You wrote the best pieces.
- Don't go crazy.

I identified four replicas. It
's your movie. You would be proud.

It wasn't worth it.

I learn a lot. I wish you
had told me about your feelings.

It would be nice to meet and chat.
William misses you.

I do not know. Maybe someday.

All right, William. At the ready?

Now!

We already agreed on this. Ulise.

Ulise, pöhkö koira. Ulysses!

Come on, Sam.

Lucy!

Please listen.

Love is not love

Which always changes shape

No, it's a fixed star

Which never slips

Every walker is guided

I am in the park tomorrow.
And every day.

Thanks a lot.
You were great.

- You look wonderful, like a dream.
- Do not say that.

No worries. I know.

Sheila said.
You are expecting a baby.

He shouldn't have told.
It is at an early stage.

I haven't seen a doctor.
I'm going today.

That is great news.

You deserve it more
than any woman I know.

Of course I would like to list
Phipps. I am jealous.

Carl doesn't want a baby.
He doesn't even want a relationship.

And I don't want to be with him.

I am happy,
but I did not want it this way.

Too bad we don't...

Anyway, goodbye, Sam.

Hi then, William.

Come back, Lucy.

Please.

I made a stupid mistake,
and I've regretted it ever since.

- Please come back.
- We can't just keep going.

Especially if I'm expecting
another man's baby.

I will grow it.
I'll take care of it.

- I am the father of it.
- You don't even want your own children.

You live for writing.

Isn't that supposed to change?
I said I was going to father it.

If I have to suffer a lifetime -

can't I suffer with you

- Is that a replica of your hand?
- No.

Or in fact it is.

But I still mean it.

Please.

You have to shave that beard.

Should not have been excited about the
result of the home test.

After all,
it says it could be wrong.

But the doctor said
you could be pregnant.

Possibly for a while.
But not anymore.

What do we do now?

We've only tried it once.
There is nothing wrong with us.

So I suggest that -

we love each other -

completely and unreservedly for the
rest of our lives -

beautiful day by day.

And they tried...

And tried...

And tried.

- Where is that fertility symbol?
- On a hill in Dorset.

Do I drive a highway
or follow power lines?

Maybe yet?