04x07 - Sin...

[bunniefuu]

That was truly pitiful.

All right, here, watch this. Watch this.

Here we go, here we go...

What does that finger thing mean anyway?

All right, all right, all right, everybody calm down.

Calm down.

Anybody want to take a guess as to what I'm holding here?

A press break that'll help us against Beecher's full court press?

I wish.

Uh, Beecher's scout report on us?

I'd love to take a look at that, but no.

Anyone else?

The names and addresses of all the women who won't go out with you?

That's a much, much, much, thicker file.

No, ladies, these are the academic progress reports I've been asking your teachers for every week since the season started, and I have to say, they make interesting reading.

I've read these and the ones before them over and over and over.

And they all say the same thing.

They say that, in spite all the warnings I've given all of you over the past few weeks, your grades continue their downward spiral, except for a hardworking few who've managed to maintain a fragile grip on academic mediocrity.

Now, I understand that some of this has to do with "senioritis."

I don't care.

You were told in no uncertain terms that your studies were the priority, and your grades had to show immediate improvement.

Unfortunately, these report show that they haven't.

Now, I don't know if you didn't have an understanding of just how serious I was or you didn't have time to study...

...but now you have both.

Practice is cancelled?

You are students here who play basketball.

You're not basketball players who show up to classes whenever the mood strikes.

Until you prove that you understand that, by bringing your grades up, this season and this team are canceled.

Hold on a minute! What!

You can't do that.

Kennedy High School court is now in session.

All right.

Mr. Donnelly, Theresa Harvey, Kevin Dorce.

Mr. Donnelly, it's says...

Guilty.

Next.

You didn't even put this in your own words.

You might as well have just photocopied it.

Guilty. Next.

You've had 52 podiatrist appointments?

Uh-uh.

David, your mother spells her name with a "K."

"K"?

Yes, there is more than one way to spell it.

Guilty. Next.

Hey, guys. Hey. How're you doing?

I've got an English Lit test coming up in about a half an hour, and unfortunately, I'm more than half an hour not ready.

Been there.

We've got a half hour until Chem Lab, and I'm starving to death.

At least our neighbor's stereo is still working.

Somebody needs to hit the store.

I'll leave a note for the maid.

You going to finish that?

Oh, yeah. I am so hungry.

It's not like I hurt anyone.

I don't care.

It's an incredibly rude, and vulgar gesture that should never be done in public, or anywhere else for that matter.

You're lucky to still have those fingers.

My friends and I do that kind of stuff to each other all the time, and no one cares.

It's, it's just a guy thing.

It is not a guy thing.

How would you know?

We heard the door slam. Everything okay?

Don't ask.

I drove up to school this afternoon, and your son was making a gesture with not one, but both hands.

And your son wasn't hailing a cab, hitchhiking, or saying "come hither."

On top of that, the principal saw your son not making the peace sign, and the three of us have an appointment with her tomorrow.

Yikes.

What are you doing here?

You're never finished with basketball practice before student court lets out.

We had a short practice today.

Why aren't you sweaty?

The coach lectured us, gave us some things to think about, which I am doing as we speak, and that was it.

Now, do you want to interrogate me some more, or do you want a ride home?

How far is home from here?

Oh, I don't know-- two, three miles.

So, quite a day, huh?

The guys and I were just goofing around.

Darryl burped, and before I knew it, my fingers were just kind of levitating around on their own.

It just happened.

And all in about three seconds.

And, just so you know, everyone thought it was funny.

Except your mom, who picked those three seconds to drive up, and the principal.

Uh, I'll admit, there was, uh, an unfortunate element of bad timing at work.

On the other hand, you know your mom and I aren't fans of that particular gesture.

That, it's, it's disrespectful.

It's rude and obscene.

I know.

But I was just hanging out, being one of the guys.

I get it.

I really do.

There's something great about hanging out with just the guys.

As long as being one of the guys doesn't mean being swayed by the guys.

'Cause for some reason, a lot of guys do really stupid things when they're with other guys, things they wouldn't even think of doing if they were alone.

And I just don't want you ever to lose your great ability to think and make decisions for yourself.

I won't.

Your mom and I talked about it and we think, uh, a little break from the guys might be a good thing for you.

Say, the weekend?

Your mom and I love you, kiddo.

And your fingers.

Just not in their upright and locked position, okay?

If mom loves me so much, then how come I'm not her son anymore.

I'm just your son, your son.

These babies remind me of that painting.

You know, the one where the woman's eyes follow you around everywhere?

You mean, the Mona Lisa? Yeah, that's the one.

Well, their eyes are supposed to follow you around-- they're living human beings.

Well, it's creepy, and I don't like it.

Hey, guys.

Hey, how's my number one son?

We have so many, now we have to number 'em.

Why do you smell like furniture polish?

I don't smell anything.

Hey.

Hey.

What smells so lemony-fresh?

You.

Uh, new-new laundry detergent.

I-I-I'm not sure.

Uh, anyway, I... had an early shift at the hospital, so I thought I'd swing by and say hi.

So... hi.

Dinner'll be in a while, and you know where the washing machine is.

If you're heading downtown, stay clear of Flower and Hope Streets.

A water main break has two blocks underwater.

Also, in a decision that has taken the whole community by surprise, Kennedy High School girls' varsity basketball coach Jason Cleary has staged a lockout of his own team.

Despite the impressive win-loss record Cleary and his Lady Wildcats have amassed over the past few seasons, Coach Cleary has apparently canceled basketball for the girls of Glenoak for reasons that for now remain undisclosed.

This is Carrie Chadwick reporting live from Glenoak.

Now back to our regular programming.

Hi. How was your day?

Don't you ever knock?

If someone makes me. Come downstairs.

I don't want to.

Mom's mad at me, I just got grounded, and frankly, I've had a bad day.

Mary's basketball coach just canceled a bunch of stuff, and it was on the news, and everybody saw it.

And Mary just got home.

Well, if Mary's gonna have a worse one, I don't want to seem unsupportive.

Okay, so we were all standing around in the hall waiting for Coach Cleary to show up to start practice, and instead, the guy locks us out of the gym.

I mean, he can't do that, can he?

Can't he be fired for something like that?

I mean, the man works for someone.

I don't know, I've never heard of this happening before.

I'm not sure what the legal precedent is.

We haven't come across anything like that in court, either.

This can't happen-- this is my senior year, and I have a scholarship to play basketball.

I mean, somebody has to do something.

Why'd he lock you guys out?

Okay, everybody, break it up.

Yeah, there's nothing to see here-- go on back to your rooms.

Go on, we'll get back to you.

Yeah, it's okay. Go.

Why do you smell like furniture polish?

So?

So, I-I heard that some of the girls' grades were slipping, and the coach wasn't gonna let them play until they improved.

Are you one of the... "some girls"?

I'm not sure, but this whole thing could mean no team and no season, which could mean no scholarship.

And... not to mention, all of the major humiliation which is already underway.

Yeah, w-we understand all of that, and, granted, the news and media aren't helping, but... hey, look, in a couple of days all this'll probably blow over.

We want to talk to the coach and see what's going on.

I just told you what was going on.

Yes, and beautifully, but I still want to talk to the coach.

Well, I wish someone would.

I don't want to jump to the worst-case scenario, but we can't swing Mary's college tuition without getting some scholarship help.

No. No, we can't.

What are we doing?

Nothing.

Mom and Dad said I can't hang out with the guys this weekend.

You could hang out with me.

It's not the same-- you're not a guy.

My friends and I are.

I even have the chest hair to prove it.

Let's see.

Ow!

Ooh, sorry, I thought that was sweatshirt fuzz.

Well, it wasn't-- it was a chest hair!

And it was the only one I had.

Well, if you're such a guy, grow more.

Dad and Matt can't stop.

I will... when I feel like it.

Right now I'm just... pacing myself.

Oh, sure.

But with or without chest hair, I can be just as good a guy as you or your friends.

I don't think so.

I mean, half the stuff we guys do would probably make you throw up.

If I can watch the twins eat, nothing will make me throw up.

Lame.

I don't have to do the fake kind.

So, you got a good case of senior-itis and decided to coast through the year, didn't you?

Did you really think no one was gonna notice that your grades took the big plunge?

What kind of disciplined, mature person decides to coast through their senior year?

The kind with a scholarship, but you wouldn't know what that's like, would you? Mom had two babies, Dad just had a heart att*ck, and now this?

They have enough going on without having to worry about the stuff you've been letting slide.

You're supposed to be the oldest.

How can Mom and Dad trust that you're gonna keep an eye on everyone else when you can't even keep an eye on yourself?

Oh, boy, one more lecture about what it means to be the oldest?

How many times do I have to hear this stuff from you?

Till you get it right.

Just go away and take your lemony-scented self with you.

So, how were things on the court today?

Thanks for asking.

I know it's only student court, but... it feels kind of important.

I know that's dumb.

Hey, there's... there's nothing dumb about any part of that.

In fact, in some ways, what you do is similar to parts of what I do.

You know, people come to me and they... they tell me what they're thinking or doing or feeling, and I listen, and I give them my perspective.

Tell them what the consequence certain ways of thinking or behaving or believing can be.

Do you think anyone you saw in court left with a new perspective on themselves or their behavior?

I don't know. Yeah. Well, all you can do is try to provide them with a different perspective.

The rest is up to them and their free will to see what's gonna happen next.

It may not seem like much, but it is.

I guess we have something in common, huh, Dad?

We have a lot of somethings in common.

This is just one of them.

Your job is a lot harder than most people think.

Well, I'll admit there are days.

But... there's that saying:

"You have to be the change you wish to see in the world."

The Bible, or one of those saint guys?

Gandhi.

Hm. I'll give it a try.

It's easier to say than do.

Hm. Amen.

Ha! Hey, Matt, what does this finger thing mean?

Ruthie's been showing me some of the guy stuff you taught her.

Like she ever listens to me.

No, but apparently, she does watch you.

All right, quit the witch hunt.

Look, I was just messing around with the guys after school, a-and it just happened.

Mom saw me, the principal saw me.

And I saw him-- he kind of wiggled his rear around when he did it, too.

He was so cute.

Shut up, please.

Smooth move, ace.

Like you never did it.

If I ever did anything like that-- and that's a big... if--

I sure as heck wouldn't stand in front of the school and wave it around like I'm trying to land planes.

There was an unfortunate element of bad timing involved.

There was an unfortunate element of bad judgment involved, too, because better, wiser, more mature judgment would've told you to look around and scope things out first.

I got caught up in the frenzy of the moment-- that doesn't make me criminal.

It just makes me a guy.

I-I get it, believe me.

But, you know, when I got older, I learned that being a guy is one thing and being a man is another.

That guy stuff has nothing to do with being a man.

A man stands up for himself and the people he loves.

He looks out for them and protects them.

And he takes responsibility for his actions.

That's it? Yeah.

That can't be right-- there has to be more to it than that.

It sounds easier than it is.

I'm sure.

And in the meantime, you got to have fun doing all that guy stuff with your friends until you got older and figured out it was stupid.

But thanks to you, I know that now, seven years too early.

And now nothing's gonna be the same, because every time I go to burp, every time I think, "Hey, spit on Darryl," a little voice in my head is gonna say, "That's stupid."

But thank you, Matt.

Thank you for making me a man.

Yeah. Thank you.

I-I'm sorry.

Wh-Why don't you come and hang with me and the guys at my apartment tomorrow, watch the game, eat some pizza? I'll get back to you.

Ditto.

Oh, uh, by the way, that under the arm...

Honking.

Oh, yeah, Mom hates that other word.

But she can live with "honking"?

As a word, not an activity.

And that under the arm honking thing you do... needed a little work anyway.

I'm sorry, but don't you have other dreams to dash?

I mean, shouldn't you be telling the twins about prostates and taxes?

You'll thank me one day.

Oh, I'm sure.

Of course.

Do you think Simon's right?

I don't understand what guy stuff is because I'm not a guy?

Well, guys are wired differently, but you seem to know that...

Matt doesn't seem to have suffered because he was raised by a dad and a mom who wasn't a guy... instead of by a dad and a guy.

Simon was just acting...

Like a guy. I know.

No, like a 13-year-old who was embarrassed in front of his buddies.

He'll get over it.

Little help?

Hello?

Cramp, cramp.

Whoa.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you very much.

That was Ms. Russell.

A-Apparently, there's been quite a response to the team lockout.

Coach Cleary had to take his phone off the hook.

Well, I guess that explains why I couldn't get through to him.

Ms. Russell has scheduled a group meeting for tomorrow afternoon.

Good. You guys are going to go, right?

Well, we have a meeting with Simon's principal tomorrow, but we'll be at your meeting, too.

We want to hear what the coach and Ms. Russell have to say.

You won't believe it when you do.

Probably not.

Sorry for interrupting.

Would it be okay if I stayed here overnight?

My apartment is hugely loud.

Oh, of course.

Yeah, I just need a little peace and quiet to think about things.

Any of them things we can help with?

No, it's a little bit of everything-- classes, life, maybe moving back home, that kind of thing.

Ah, that kind of thing.

I'm pretty sure you won't be surprised to hear that Simon's behavior is considered unacceptable at school.

Well, it's also considered unacceptable at home or in nature.

A three-day suspension from school is the standard consequence.

Look, I'm not advocating what he did but, three days?

That seems like a little bit of an overreaction.

Simon's behavior falls in the category of harassing, g*ng or indecent gestures.

But Simon's a good student with a good track record at school.

And as far as his gesture goes, it-it was rude and vulgar, but nothing more or less than that, and he has apologized to us and to you.

Simon is not, and never will be a harasser, g*ng member or indecent.

I'm sorry, but we are talking about school policy.

No, we're not.

If you had been listening at all, you'd know that we've been talking about my son.

Come on.

I'm sorry, Reverend Camden.

Please... talk to your wife.

Don't worry, I will.

I want to tell her she's right.

Hey, are you okay?

We'll figure something out.

If nothing else, we'll have three days of quality time.

It's not that.

It's just that... yesterday...

I thought you didn't want me.

For what?

Your son.

What?

I overheard you telling Dad that "his son" did this and "his son" did that, a bunch of times.

The front tire, looked a little low and that can't be good.

I didn't mean it that way.

It just came out.

That's what happened with my fingers in front of school.

They just came out.

I guess we have something in common, huh, Mom?

I guess we do.

I think I was upset with you because that gesture is just so...

Vulgar and indecent?

Yeah.

But it's also... ordinary.

It's like the people who use that gesture aren't smart or clever enough to think of something better to do.

I remember when I had just had you in the hospital, and I was all by myself, and I was holding you, and looking at you and thinking how amazing it was that I could be part of this extraordinary thing.

And you, Simon Camden, have grown up to be one of the most extraordinary people I know.

So, I guess, even if it was a normal guy thing, I was disappointed to see you doing something so ordinary.

I'm sorry, Mom.

Me, too.

For everything.

I love you, Simon.

I love you, too, Mom.

Did you see the thing about the team lock-out on the news last night?

We heard what happened.

What was Cleary thinking?

I mean, you guys are tied for first place.

You got a sh*t at the league championship.

Word is, it's some kind of grade thing.

So what?

I mean, if you guys are meeting the league's minimum GPA, that's all that matters.

That kind of information is in the league by-laws.

Maybe Cleary should read them.

Yeah? Where could we get a copy?

The league office should know. You should give them a call.

Well, good luck, guys. Yeah. Yeah, hang in there.

Thanks. Thanks.

Got a quarter?

I heard that a couple of girls failed drug tests.

That's why Cleary locked the team out.

What?!

I heard the whole team was into buying tests and papers and stuff and that's why he locked them out.

You've got to be kidding.

I also heard that a couple of the girls are really Russian ringers brought over here to help win the championship.

And with the collapse of the Soviet Union's economy, it makes sense.

On what planet?

Okay, then what happened?

You can't tell anybody, but... their grades fell.

That's it?

You've got to be kidding.

Man, I thought if it was on the news, it had to be something good.

Yeah, the woman on TV made it sound really juicy.

But, don't tell anybody I told you.

I promised Mary I wouldn't say anything.

No problem. You've got it.

Thank you, thank you. I'll see you later.

Hey, what's going on?

I know we had a study date, and I'm sorry I'm late, but something came up and I had to keep an eye on the twins for my parents.

I can't take much more of living like this.

Is everything okay?

Not exactly.

Mary's basketball coach has temporarily canceled the season because the team's grades, including Mary's, are down.

Simon got caught giving the finger at school, got suspended, and Ruthie gave it to me and asked me what it meant.

What'd you tell her?

I told her to ask my dad.

You know, I'd laugh too, except my parents have two new babies, my dad just had a heart att*ck, and my brother and sisters have lost their minds.

And my dad's heart att*ck proves that there is a limit to how much he can handle, but, nobody understands that, but me.

Hey. Hey.

What's going on?

Things are out of control at my house, um, with my dad's condition and all, I'm, I'm thinking about moving back home.

Well, did your parents ask you to move back?

No, but you know them. I mean, they... they wouldn't no matter what they were going through.

Well, I can't handle the rent on this place alone, so I hope you give me some notice whenever you're done "thinking" about it.

Of course I will. I...

What's his problem?

You know, if I do this, if I do it, I'm doing it for my parents, not for myself.

Are you sure?

Absolutely. Yeah.

Okay then.

Danny was right.

The league requires that a player have a GPA of 2.0 or higher to be eligible to play. That's it.

Coach Cleary, a comment on the unprecedented lock-out of a team by its own coach?

Coach?

Hey, I hope I'm not interrupting.

I'm Carrie Chadwick from Channel 8 news.

It looks like the Lady Wildcats may be locked out.

They're still a team.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know, after the big meeting today, the coach and the school might issue a statement, but, it's an official statement, and official statements don't always tell the whole story, if you know what I mean.

Oh yeah.

Coach Cleary didn't have the right to do what he did.

You're kidding!

No.

Don't worry about us. We'll be fine.

Yeah, these guys are in good hands.

Ignore her.

She's just trying to be one of the guys.

Underarm honking is not a guy thing.

It is, too. No, it's not.

Anybody could do it.

We shouldn't be gone long.

I'm sure the whole thing's just a question of airing a few things out.

Okay.

They're a mess.

Hi, sweetie. Hi.

Hey, over here.

Hi.

Hello, Camdens.

Good to see you.

Hi, Dee Dee. Hi, Reverend.

Good to see you.

Shh. Shh.

If everyone shuts up, we can still hear.

Ten bucks if you trade places with me.

20, and you can have both of ours.

Lucy will tell us what happened.

I know you all have a lot of questions about the coach's recent decision, but why don't we let him explain a few things and then he'll answer your questions. Coach?

Well, I'm not sure how much or what version of the story your daughters told you, but you're holding your daughters' most recent academic progress reports in your hands.

And I know, you don't track your kids grades on a week by week basis, but I do, and, I'll bet more than a few of you will be a little surprised at what you see.

You-you weren't sure your grades were slipping?

And let me point out, that despite repeated warnings and offers of academic assistance, the girls on this varsity team have continued to allow their grades to fall.

My daughter's grades are my business, not yours.

You're just a basketball coach.

True, true.

But as their coach, I care enough about them to do what's best for them.

And making them take their schoolwork seriously is what's best for them.

Is it true the girls met the league's eligibility requirements?

Yeah, but the league's eligibility requirements are substandard, especially for these girls.

Who are you to say?

Basketball is the only sh*t my kid has at a scholarship.

Now, how dare you take that opportunity away from her.

How dare your daughter give that opportunity away?

And just where do you think she's going to get a scholarship with grades like that?

The guys' team doesn't do this.

Well, then, your maybe daughter should try out for the guys' team.

No, you should be fired, and we should sue for discrimination.

Wait a minute.

All right, all right, everyone, look, no one wants to see this situation come to that.

But everyone seems to be forgetting that the girls are dictating the schedule here.

Now, when they get their grades back up, practices will start up again.

But until that happens, the athletic director and I are going to support the coach.

Mary Camden is our daughter.

She's... senior captain.

She's the first freshmen to make varsity in years.

She's overcome injuries and knee surgery to keep playing the game.

As hard as she's worked and sweated through everything, so have we.

Our commitment to her, and this game and this team may be different from hers, but it's no less invested.

Did you know your grades were slipping?

Is there something you could of done to stop them from slipping?

Did Coach Cleary tell you what would happen if your grades kept slipping?

Then for now, we're gonna respect this lock-out.

What?

What?

I'm sorry, kiddo.

Your coach didn't blow it, you did.

Sure is quiet around here.

Too quiet.

Mary's not yelling, door slamming or stomping around.

That's not good, not good at all.

No, not good at all.

Hang on, I've got an idea.

Go on, Happy, go upstairs.

Go see Mary, go.

I hope she goes to the right place this time.

Yeah, I know.

It took a big hunk out of my savings to replace the baby monitors after the last time I tried this and Happy went and laid under the Tripp's sprinkler.

I can't believe any of this is happening, Corey.

My own parents stabbed me in the back.

I don't know, what did you have in mind?

Whoa, the last part's a little extreme, but I can handle the part where we go get something to eat.

"That last part's a little extreme."

I'm not sure what that means, but it definitely means something.

Should we tell Mom and Dad?

Probably.

Simon, let's go.

We have to pick up the pizza before the game starts.

Don't worry, Dad, I'll put some money in the pot for you.

And that's what guys do, right?

I mean, they eat pizza, bet on the game, try to cover the spread.

I guess so.

Wait. You can't go, you're not a guy.

Why? I'm just as good a guy as any of your friends.

Why don't you stay home and do something with Lucy and me?

k*ll me.

No, thank you very much.

I'd rather go to guy's night at Matt's.

It's okay with me if it's okay with you.

Well, how "guy" is this evening going to be?

Uh, typical stuff, no big deal.

You know, I do go to school, I play on a football team, and I've seen MTV.

So, if there's something else out there, bring it on.

That is so reassuring, my little flower.

Come on you guys, let's go.

Um, since it's not a school night, would it be okay if I went out to eat with some of the girls from the team.

Or, am I grounded because of everything that's been going on?

I know that you're upset, but I'd appreciate it if you'd watch your tone.

I'm sorry.

They were just going to drop by to see if I could go with them, but I'll just tell them that I can't.

We know you might want to vent with your friends, just do it quickly and come right home.

Thank you.

Your friends are in the foyer.

Thanks. How was student court?

We didn't have it today because of the big team meeting.

I hope we did the right thing with Mary just now.

Well, she can blow off some steam with her friends, then we'll talk to her some more when she gets home.

This whole thing stinks.

It's true, the guys' team doesn't have to do this.

No other team in the league has to put up with this.

No other team in the world has to put up with this.

And I don't appreciate being used as an example.

Especially during my senior year.

No kidding. This is my last year of playing high school basketball.

I've worked since sixth grade to be on this team and the coach decides to go on a major power trip now?

No kidding.

Cleary's a case.

Yeah, well, at least your dad didn't stand up and humiliate you in front of the world before stabbing you in the back.

They had help.

I mean, did you hear Ms. Russell?

You know, this whole thing makes me nuts.

I just want to go over to the gym and... you know. Yeah.

I know. I know.

You know, Matt hasn't said anything more about moving back home since he declared he was thinking about it.

I have a feeling it's going to come up again, don't you?

Yeah, but we don't have to decide to do anything until he does.

Is the game over already? No.

Ruthie's honking got to everyone and we were asked to leave.

What?

I was being one of the guys.

Honking doesn't make you a guy, it makes you a pig.

A pig who gets us kicked out of guys' night.

Okay, okay. I'm not married to it.

I just thought that was what guys were supposed to do when they hung out.

You were wrong. You were very, very toxically wrong.

Great. I just taught myself a lesson.

I hope you're happy.

I wouldn't say happy, exactly.

You know how we feel about burping, sneezing on each other, or each other's food, spitting, or anything to do with your or anybody else's nose, or pretty much anything that comes out of your head.

And yes, honking.

It's rude and gross, but accidents happen and you have to say excuse me.

But accidents shouldn't happen very often.

Yeah.

Close enough.

Matt, excuse me.

You're not excused, but I forgive you.

I'll take what I can get.

Listen, is it okay if I finish watching the game downstairs?

Sure.

Great.

I realize I've been living in a different world lately, but it is definitely time to come back.

Sure, Lucy's doing great.

The nut doesn't fall far from the ol' tree, does it?

Oh, no. No, it doesn't.

You're two peas in a pod.

Yeah.

But what are you hinting at over there-- that somehow what's been going on here lately is your fault?

Well, not exactly, but if I'd been on top of things and you know, at my post, I might have seen them coming.

We love our kids.

We work really hard at trying to be good parents who set the right kind of examples, but there comes a point in life where you just have to throw them out into the world and pray.

What about Mary?

Maybe we threw her too far.

Mary's a good kid.

We'll get through this.

Yeah.

Hold it, that's enough.

You're under arrest.