08x09 - Old Charlie

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Bonanza". Aired: September 12, 1959 - January 16, 1973.*
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Set during and after the Civil w*r, "Bonanza" is the story of Ben and his 3 sons on the family's thousand-acre spread, known as the Ponderosa, near Virginia City.
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08x09 - Old Charlie

Post by bunniefuu »

- Sorry.
- Sorry.

Miss Annie.

Hello, Hoss!

Here, let me do that.

You ain't got no business
doing all this old heavy work.

Why, I say, I been cleaning
stalls and pitching hay

since before you was born.

Yeah, well, maybe it's time
you was taking a break, huh?

Uh, Charlie will be
back in a minute.

Say, I'm... I'm afraid he,
uh, ain't found time yet

to order that new harness
that your father wanted.

Oh, that's all
right, Miss Annie.

I can come back
later, pick that up.

Whoa.

Annie!

I'm here!

Oh, there you are.

Oh, howdy, Hoss.

Howdy, Charlie.

Good to see you.

Wait till you see
what I got here.

Yeah?

You didn't bring home
another one of them

surefire moneymaking
deals, did you,

like that posthole digger
that did everything except dig?

No, sir. No, sir.

That was foolishness.

Wait till you see this.

This is the pure quill.

I can sell them for ten
dollars apiece, maybe more.

Thousands of them.

99% profit.

That's a... that's a
stirrup, ain't it, Charlie?

Not a stirrup; it's the stirrup.

That's-that's the kind
them Eastern dudes wear

on them pancake saddles.

Feel it.

No slip.

Guaranteed to hold the boot.

Silver-plated.

Guaranteed silver-plated iron.

Not wood like ours.

Guess how much
they're gonna cost me.

Oh, I ain't got no
way of knowing it.

Go on, guess.

Well, I don't
know, Charlie. I...

How much are they
gonna cost, Charlie?

50 cents apiece.

Fifty...?

How much money have
you given them so far?

Who said I give them anything?

This calls for a
celebration, Hoss,

and the drinks are on me.

We'll be back directly, Annie.

I don't want you doing any
heavy lifting while we're gone.

Just leave
everything where it is.

I'll straighten it up
when I get back.

You always do, Charlie.

Now, mind you,
don't forget dinner!

And, Hoss, I'm expecting you.

Miss Annie, I'd love to,
but I've got to get back...

Don't you say no.

I've got the nicest
peach pie waiting for you.

Doggone it, Miss
Annie, you got the...

you got the most convincing
way of arguing I ever heard.

Good. I'll see you later.

You know, Hoss, I didn't
let Annie in on everything.

These females ain't got
too good a head for finance.

Well, what would you say
if I could get the franchise

on that stirrup for every
state west of the Mississippi?

Oh, Charlie, they gonna...

they gonna give
you that for nothing?

Well, the next door to nothing.

A hundred dollars.

I got that much tucked away.

How many horses do you think's
in the state of Nevada alone?

A million? Two million?

At ten dollars apiece.

That's why I say things never
looked better, Hoss. Huh?

So, there I was,

pinned down in that dugout,
freezing blizzard wind...

Bruno!

Blizzard blowing down on me.

Out there on that hogback
sits old Black Kettle,

surrounded by his warriors,
over a hundred of them.

What'd you do, Charlie?

Did you fight 'em?

Fight 'em? No, no, no.

That would've riled them up.

No, sir.

No, sir, I rigged
me up a white flag.

And I walked out there...

knowing any minute
one of them savages

might run me clean
through with a lance.

And I says, "Black Kettle...

"I know you boys
is hungry, I know it,

but you're not gonna get
no grub fighting for it here."

And then a lot of other
palaver, all in Injun, of course.

And... well, anyway, I ended
up trading an old slab-sided beef

for two of the
prettiest pinto ponies

you ever seen in your life.

The general told me
afterwards, he says what I done

probably saved
the whole settlement

from being burnt
clean to the ground.

They give you a medal, Charlie?

No.

But I got something
a lot better.

I traded them two
pintos to the general

for a half dozen draft horses.

And that was the
foundation of my first fortune.

When did all this
happen, Charlie?

Uh, Christmastime,
December, I think it was.

This was Kansas Territory?

That's what I said.

You better get
your time straight...

'cause the Cheyennes had
already gone south by then.

You calling me a liar, sonny?

Well, the Seventh
Cavalry was my outfit.

I was there.

I asked you... you
calling me a liar?

Well, uh...

Well, maybe I got a
little mixed up myself.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Maybe you did, you
young whippersnapper.

And let that be a lesson to you.

All right, everybody to the bar!

Drinks are on old Charlie!

You have another
one, too, Hoss, huh?

No, thank you, Charlie.

I imagine me and you
better be heading for home.

Miss Annie's
gonna skin us alive.

Mr. Conners, would you
mind if I sat down a minute?

Buddy, we was
just fixin' to leave.

Sit down, sit down.
We got lots of time.

Not Mr. Conners.
Folks call me Charlie.

Well, I was just listening
to your stories, and...

well, you must
be a real rich man

with all them deals
you got going, huh?

I do all right. Lord's
been good to me.

- What's your name, sonny?
- Barker, sir. Billy Barker.

Where you from, Billy?

Uh... oh, all over.

I'm just fixin' to go
down to Arizona now.

Mm-hmm. So you're
a little strapped, eh?

Oh, no, no, sir. I... I ain't
looking for no handouts.

I'm just looking for a job,

and I thought you might
need a little help somewhere.

Well... well, you come around
the barn tomorrow morning.

We'll see what we can do.

Yes, sir. I'll do that, sir.

Bruno...

Uh... I seem to have
run off without my cash.

- I got it, Charlie.
- No, no, no, this is my party.

Put that on my bill, Bruno.

Thank you, Charlie.

Thanks, Hoss.

See you tomorrow, boys!

Hoss, you, uh, you go on in.

I'm going down to
the barn for a while.

Charlie, Miss Annie's
waiting supper for us.

Yeah, I know, but I got
to get at that paperwork.

There's a lot of paperwork
connected with setting up

- a big deal, you know.
- Yeah. Charlie.

If I was you, Charlie, I'd...

I'd give that stirrup thing
a whole bunch of thought

before I invest any money in it.

Well, don't you worry, Hoss.

I'll get that hundred back
and a hundred times over.

Tell Annie I'll be
along after while.

Yeah. I'll tell her, Charlie.

Come in.

- Hi, Miss Annie.
- Hello, Hoss.

Supper's ready.
Isn't Charlie with you?

No, ma'am, I... I don't reckon
Mr. Charlie's very hungry.

He's down there working
on that stirrup thing.

- Here, let me get that. Let me get it.
- Oh, thanks.

- I got it.
- Another one of them,

and my arms was
ready to drop off.

You ain't got you a
kitchen pump yet, huh?

Charlie's gonna do that
for me one of these days.

Sure he is.

What does that mean?

Well, I mean...

I know Charlie, Miss
Annie. I... Do you?

Well, I mean...

I mean, we're friends,
you know, like...

What do you know about him?

Know that he's a...

a nice old man that likes
to buy drinks for everybody

and tell stories...

and go around pretending
that he's something that he's not.

Is that right?

Yes'm.

What story did he
tell in the saloon?

Oh, it... wasn't
important, Miss Annie.

Just... he told the story

about the Cheyenne and the beef.

It wasn't nothing. You know.

Well, why don't I just tell
you what really happened.

There was Indians, all right.

There was Cheyennes.
There was a whole tribe.

And Black Kettle
was their chief.

And there was a beef.

That cow was all that we
had between us and starvation.

I'll never forget it.

It was when our first
baby died of the fever.

And I had it, I
was down with it,

and Charlie had it.

And that's when these
people came along.

Oh, they were pathetic.

They were the most forlorn,

starved-lookin'
bunch of Cheyenne.

Their babies was just
crying from hunger.

And Charlie come into
me where I was laying sick,

and he said...
"I'm sorry, Annie...

but they needed it
worse than we do."

He had given
them... our milk cow.

There's all kinds of
heroes in this world, Hoss.

All kinds.

You understand?

Yes'm, I do.

Charlie.

Do you know that he
traded a sound horse

for a broken-down old ox yoke

because that farmer
needed a horse

to plow his ground,
or he'd have starved?

We didn't need an ox yoke.

We didn't even have an ox.

And this decoration, this
broken-down coffee grinder...

He gave Mel Fletcher
ten dollars for this

because Mel had
sickness in his family.

I tell you, this house
is just filled with junk.

These are Charlie's medals.

He doesn't think
they're worth anything,

but I do.

Hoss, why don't you
go and fetch Charlie

and tell him supper's ready?

Yes'm. Be right back, now.

Who is it?

Oh, uh, me, sir. Billy Barker.

Oh. I'll be with you
in just a minute here.

Got something to finish first.

Uh, yeah, well, I'm
sort of in a hurry.

Um, your-your
friend, the big fella...

Is he around here
somewhere, is he?

Hoss? Oh, he's over at my house.

If I know Hoss,
he's still eating.

But I didn't expect to see
you till tomorrow morning.

Then I suppose a fella's got to
have someplace to sleep, huh?

You hungry?

You bet your sweet
life I am, old man.

But I ain't gonna be
much longer, am I?

I mean, it just doesn't
seem right to me

for an old man like you to
have all that money, and...

and I ain't got none at all.

Wh-What are you talking
about? What money?

Well, I heard
you tell your friend

that you got some money
hid around here somewhere,

and I want it.

I ain't got no money hid.

Look, I heard
you tell your friend

that you got a hundred dollars.

Now, you gonna
tell me where it is,

and you're gonna
tell me right now.

Please, that's all I got left.

That's all my wife and me's
got left in this world, son.

Now, you tell me where
you got that money hid,

or the next time you
open your mouth,

you're gonna be chewing on this.

I-I'll get it for you.

Charlie.

I'll k*ll you.

Charlie.

You all right?

The boy's dead.

Howdy, Hoss.

Hi, Roy.

Glad I found you at home.

I'm going over to Carson City,

and I brought that deposition
statement of yours by to sign.

All right.

You take a good look
at it, and if it's all right,

you can sign it right
there on the bottom.

Yeah, I'm sure it's fine,
Roy. You got a pencil?

- Yeah.
- Let me use you for a desk here.

All righty.

I knew I seen a wanted poster
on that Billy Barker somewheres.

Yeah?

Look at this.

He's wanted up in Millers
Falls for stealing a horse.

Ain't much of a reward, but
you may as well put in for it.

I'll tell you what, Roy.

Why don't you... why don't
you just give it to old Charlie?

I got an idea he and... he
and Miss Annie could use it.

Well, that's up to you if
that's the way you want it.

Yeah, let's do it that way.

You, uh, planning
on holding an inquest?

No, I think the facts speak
for themselves, Hoss.

You might drop by
the office, though,

say the day after tomorrow,
in case the coroner wants

to ask you any questions
or anything, huh?

- Be happy to. R-Roy?
- Yeah?

About that reward...
Let's just keep that

a little secret between
you and me, all right?

That will do. Good-bye, boy.

Adios.

Well, I sure do thank
you for coming by, Hoss.

Yeah.

I'll tell you folks,

you'd never believe
it if I was to tell you.

But I will tell you this.

A lesser man than old
Charlie'd never been able

to face up to him.

I give up trying

to get him off that soapbox,
'cause to hear him tell it,

he's Davy Crockett, Daniel Boone

and Wild Bill Hickok
all rolled into one.

Yeah.

Well, but he's harmless, Roy.

I reckon if it takes no more
than that to make a man happy,

the least me and you can
do is go along with it, huh?

You're right about that.

- See you, Roy.
- Yeah.

He had that cold
k*ller gleam in his eye.

Well, he has his p*stol in
his hand when he comes in,

and he threatened me with
it, and I dared him to sh**t.

I said, "You pull that trigger,

"and you'll have this
whole town down on you

in the flicker of an eyelash."

Well, he paused
there for a minute while

he tried to stare me down.

Finally had to avert his
gaze, and in that second,

I started to make my play.

But I give him
credit. He was quick.

"I don't need no g*n for
you, old man," he says.

"I'll just cut your
gizzard out."

Then he makes a lunge for me,

and I sidestepped
and let him go on by.

- How'd-how'd he do that, old man?
- I don't know.

Well, was he all crouched
down at you, or did he...?

It all happened so
fast, I couldn't tell.

Pretty quick, was he?

Why, he was faster
than greased lightning.

What kind of a knife did he use?

Well, it was a
wicked-looking thing. Spanish.

Like that?

Who are you boys?

We're Billy Barker's
brothers, old man.

What-what do you want?

What do you suppose
we'd want, old-timer?

Just thought maybe we'd
even up the score a little bit

until we got a look at
you and heard you talk.

Now I don't know
as we're big enough.

Real ferocious-looking,
ain't he?

You get out of here.
Leave him alone!

Go on. Get out of here.

Yeah, we got us
a regular old pair

of mountain lions
here, don't we?

I think you two
boys better move on.

Oh, well, I guess we better
move on, then, brother.

Yeah.

You're standing
in our way there.

I ain't intending on moving.

Now, I asked you peaceful-like.

Now, beat it.

These boys giving
you trouble, Hoss?

No, no. No... no
trouble, Sheriff.

These fellas were just
leaving, wasn't you, fellas?

Oh, yes, yes. There's
no trouble, Sheriff.

Come on, George.

Uh, we'll see you
around, old-timer.

It's a good thing you
showed up, Sheriff.

I was starting to get mad.

Yeah. Say, Hoss, if them
boys do give you any trouble,

you let me know, now, you hear?

Yeah.

Ah, they ain't gonna
give nobody no trouble.

They're just a lot of talk.

Hoss and I could have
handled them with one hand.

- I - don't doubt that, Charlie.

By the way, there is $100
reward money coming to you.

That boy Billy was wanted.

Well, by jingo.

A hundred dollars.

Uh, I... I figured that boy

for a hard case the
first time I ever seen him.

Wait till the boys hear about
this down at the saloon, huh?

Yeah, yeah. Charlie,
you got a minute?

- I'd like to talk to you.
- Sure. Come on in.

I want to tell you something.

Things are sure looking up.

They never been better.

Do you know how much
money we've taken in so far?

- Let me show you.
- Charlie?

Huh?

Charlie, you know the
truth is gonna out, Charlie.

You got to know that.

What do you mean, the truth?

Well...

Charlie, what I mean
is, you can't just go on

telling people that
you k*lled Billy Barker.

I mean, when-when
he died by accident.

That-that's the plain truth.

Accident?

Why, he come at
me with that knife.

He come at me
all over the place!

Charlie... He thought
he had me scared,

but he found out different.

Come right down to it, he wasn't
so tough as he might have been.

I've handled his kind before.

They used to laugh at
old Charlie. They did!

But now they got to
listen when he talks.

Charlie... Yeah,
Hoss, I... I, uh...

I got something out
back I want to do.

I wonder if you'd kind
of look after things here

for a little while, huh?

- Where's Charlie?
- Hi, Miss Annie.

Why, he... he's out
in the corral. Why?

Good. I need to talk to you.

I've been talking to
Roy about them Barkers.

Yeah?

They k*lled a man over
in Millers Falls last year.

He insulted their
sister, they said,

and then they provoked him
into a fight and shot him dead.

Nobody did anything
about it. Self-defense.

Miss Annie, I
guarantee you they...

they ain't gonna hurt Charlie.

Oh, no?

No, see,

Charlie didn't have nothing
to do with k*lling Billy Barker.

Well, I know he didn't.

You know?

Oh, you... Oh, you forget.

I've been married to
Charlie for 30 years.

Yeah.

Then you know what
he's got to do, don't you?

You really want him to stand
up in front of this whole town

and tell them that
he's a liar and a fake?

Well, Miss Annie,
dad-burnit, I...

I know it ain't
gonna be easy, but...

there ain't no
other way around it.

Well, that would
just k*ll him, that's all.

I don't mean the
outside kind of k*lling

that would put him in his grave.

I mean he would
shrivel up inside,

and that's the
worst kind of death.

That's the death of the soul.

Hoss... there is another way.

I got a little money
put by I've been saving,

and I don't think
he knows about it.

It ain't much, but
I think it's enough.

I want you to tell Charlie

that you need him to go away
on business for the Ponderosa.

Maybe Montana. He'd like that.

Something real important

that would keep him
for several weeks.

You think you
could do that, Hoss?

Oh, I... I reckon I could
come up with some kind of a...

But would he do it?

Well, I-I could try
to persuade him.

When do you want
me to talk to him?

Well, I-I...

I don't know, but I
could let you know.

Yeah.

Look... Miss Annie...

don't you worry about nothin'.

Charlie's gonna be all right.

Hoss, you're...

- you're a real good friend.
- Aw... ♪♪

Hello, Hoss. Like a beer?

Hi, Bruno. No, thanks.

You seen the Barker
boys? They been around?

They're in the back room.

- Thanks.
- They been, uh...

hitting the bottle
kind of heavy.

- You take care.
- Yeah. Thanks, Bruno.

Well, we got company.

Sure we do.

Come right in. Don't
be bashful, Cartwright.

Here, have yourself a drink.

No, thanks. I want
to... I want to talk to you.

Now, we sort of figured on that.

You sober enough
to listen to me and...

remember what
I'm gonna tell you?

I got a mind like
a bear trap, friend.

Once it takes a
grip, it holds on.

Well... I'm sorry
about your brother.

I got brothers of my own.

But you got this
thing all wrong.

You see...

Billy was trying to
rob the livery stable,

and there was a fight, and...

he fell on his own knife.

Looks like you're gonna owe me.

Now, just hold on.
He's not finished yet.

Are you finished?

No, I ain't.

You see... your brother
had knocked old Charlie out.

He was unconscious, cold.

He didn't even see the fight,
didn't know nothin' about it.

And I don't want
you hurtin' him.

Anybody say anything

about hurting that
old man, brother?

You hear anything like that?

No, I didn't hear
anything like that.

Maybe that old man might
have to sweat a little bit, but...

Now, look here...

like I told you, old Charlie
didn't know nothin' about it,

and I want you to
leave him alone.

Oh, come on, you ain't
gonna say you did it.

You ain't gonna say that.

That's right.

Your brother's
fight was with me.

Well, pay me up, brother.

I just won me a bet.

George here said
somebody'd come along

and try to take the
old man's place.

- Now, hold on a minute...
- All right, then,

quit all the talk.

Now, our fight's
with the old man.

And you'd do well to
keep that in your head.

Well... where did you get that?

Well, that Hoke family...
come in last night

and didn't have any
money for feed, so I...

So they gave you the cradle.

Their little girl's outgrown it,

so I figured maybe the Stephens
could use it for their new one.

You mind?

No.

I didn't think you did.

Now, what was that for?

Oh... nothing... in particular.

Charlie, I just had a
long talk with Hoss.

Oh? What about?

Well...

it seems that the Ponderosa
has got something big

doing up in Montana,

only they haven't got
anybody to handle it for them.

Oh?

Yeah.

He was wondering if...

if you'd be interested in
taking care of it for them.

It's a big deal,
Charlie, big deal.

Big deal?

Well, I wonder why
he didn't mention it...

I see.

And how long is this
job supposed to take?

Long enough for the Barkers
to get tired of hanging around?

Charlie, be reasonable.

Annie, I told you not to worry.

Now, I'll take care of things.

Charlie, I know you're
not afraid of anything,

but Roy Coffee
is an old friend...

The answer is still no, Annie.

I'm not gonna run to the sheriff

because of a couple
of saddle bums.

What would the
people of this town

- think if I...
- Charlie.

Charlie. Miss Annie.

Hoss.

Charlie, I was, uh, just
gonna go over and get a beer.

Would you care to join me?


I think that's a great idea.

Now, you get them other
ideas out of your head, Annie.

I'll be right back.

Hi, boys!

Things are looking
up! Old Charlie's here!

- Howdy, Hank.
- Howdy, Charlie.

- Good day to you, Sam. How about a beer?
- Why not?

You're looking
pert today, Charlie.

Well, it's a great
day, and that's a fact.

You might as well draw us
three tall ones there, Bruno.

Sam, you know, that reminds
me, did I ever tell you about the...

Well, how's the missus, Hank?

Fine, Charlie, fine.

Well, I believe we
need another bottle.

- Well... better days, Hoss.
- Yeah.

Say, now...

I ever tell you about
that time down in Natchez

when I run into old
man Reynerson...

Yeah, yeah, Charlie,
you-you told me about that.

Oh, yeah, well... I
guess maybe I did.

I'll tell you one I'd like for
you to tell me again, Charlie.

Tell me about that fight
you had with Billy Barker.

Well, you was
there, you seen it.

What... what do you
mean, tell you about it?

I mean... tell it to me
all the way through.

I want to hear it all.

Well, there's...

no use boring
you with that again.

It just happened, that's all.

I think you told me
that he came at you

with a g*n first, right?

Well, yeah, a... p*stol.

And you took it
away from him, right?

Well, uh, no, I didn't.

He... he dropped
it, and I says to him,

"There's no use coming
to me with that thing.

You better..." So
he... dropped it.

How come the sheriff never
did find it there on the floor?

Come on, now, Hoss.

How do I know what
happened to the p*stol?

Maybe he threw it outside.

Maybe somebody come
along the next day and stole it.

How do I know
what happened to it?

Charlie...

there wasn't no
p*stol, was there?

As far as you know,
there wasn't even no fight.

When I came out there, you
was laying there on the floor

where you'd been
knocked, wasn't you?

- Well, no, I...
- Charlie.

I fought Billy Barker.
I fought Billy Barker.

And he fell on his
knife and he died.

And you was layin' there
on the floor all that time

out colder than a wedge,
wasn't you, Charlie?

Well, you... you trying
to tell me I'm a liar?

I thought he was my friend.

They give me the reward.
Me, Charlie Conners!

And why'd they give it to me?

They give it to me because
I deserved it, that's why.

He tried to rob me,

and I stood up to him like a
man, that's what happened.

That's what happened, Sam.

That's the gospel truth.

I never run from nobody.

I took Billy Barker!

Why else would they
give me the reward?

You tell 'em, Hoss, why else?

Because I told the
sheriff to give it to you,

'cause you needed the money.

Nee... Needed the... the money?

Charlie Conners never
needed no money.

I've had deals all around here.

You... you boys all know.

You all know.

♪♪

Bruno...

you got a little rat
poison for this beer?

Hoss... nobody's gonna blame
you for doing the right thing.

Well, it looks like you're
gonna have to give me back

my five dollars.

Yeah, sure looks
that way, don't it?

Now, me...

I'm real pleased the
way things turned out.

Scaring an old man ain't
much sport, Cartwright.

Now, you, I bet you don't scare.

I've told you boys once,
and I'll tell you again.

Your brother's
death was accidental.

Sure. We'll be seeing
you around, Cartwright.

♪♪

Miss Annie, I...

Why didn't you just sh**t
him and be done with it?

I told you to wait, but you had
to go ahead and do it your way.

I'm sorry. I... Sorry?

You know that this whole
town is laughing at him?

How do you think
he's gonna face 'em?

Didn't you stop to think
what you were doing to him?

Think. Miss Annie, I
thought about it all afternoon.

Ma'am, it-it was
his pride or his life.

Charlie's pride is his life.

Yeah.

Well, maybe you
and me can help him

get back some of that
pride, but if he was dead,

there ain't much we
can do for him, is there?

Where is he, anyhow?

Nobody's seen him
since he left the saloon.

Well, come on. I'll
help you find him.

Don't need any
more help from you.

You done enough already.

Your horse is in the stable.

You can pick him up
whenever you're ready.

♪♪

It's like a tomb in here.

Where have you
been all day, Charlie?

I've... been looking
all over for you.

Been here twice.
Been all around town.

I wanted to be alone.

I suppose you already
heard what happened.

I heard.

How that Hoss could turn on me.

How he could tell the
lies he told about me.

Lie?

You say he lied?

Well, I've had enough for today.

I don't want to talk about it.

Maybe it's about time we
began to tell the truth around here.

Hoss didn't lie.
He told the truth.

- What are you...
- Admit it!

You didn't k*ll Billy
Barker, did you?

What are you trying to do to me?

I'm trying to tell you

that you don't need
another man's courage.

You have enough of your own.

Lord knows you've
lived through enough

to k*ll a hundred gunfighters.

And you've come through it
good and sweet and generous.

You don't need these big
stories and these big deals!

Just a lyin' fool, huh?

No.

Just a pretender.

A man who...

doesn't think enough of
himself to just be himself.

Charlie, I love you
for what you are.

Don't you know that?

I don't see how you can love me.

We-we never had nothin'.

I always wanted to get
you a big house, servants.

Oh.

I... I... never
wanted no big house.

I wouldn't know what
to do with servants.

What I have is enough.

All the work you have to do...

But, Charlie, we work together.

We have each other.

Sure.

I guess there's people
who have fine, easy lives.

And then there's
folks like us that...

do well just to hang on.

But we've hung on
together, Charlie.

And I don't think
we missed a thing.

Well, uh,

I got to go out and fix
something in the corral.

Good afternoon.

What do you fellas want here?

What do you want?

I'm gonna get the sheriff.

Just behave yourself, old woman,

and we might not
have to hurt him.

Say, that's his horse, ain't it?

He ain't gonna walk home.
He's got to come back here.

And we'll just be right
here waitin' for him.

Yeah, well, keep 'em over
here and keep 'em quiet.

I'm gonna have a look around.

Yeah, he'll be around.
We got nothin' but time.

What are you gonna do to him?

That should be pretty
clear, shouldn't it?

- Now, why don't you keep your mouth shut.
- Stop.

We got you and your
old woman sewed up tight.

It's either gonna be
Cartwright or you two.

So when he comes in here,
don't you make a sound.

You hear that?

Y-Yes-yes, sir.

Come right in, big man.

Just take it off and
toss it right over there.

Way over there.

When I get through
with you, big fella,

you're gonna be
about three feet tall

'cause I'm gonna
cut you right in half.

Why don't you let them go.

They-they ain't
done nothin' to you.

No, no. No, sir.

They're gonna
end up on this knife

just like our brother Billy did.

Besides, you oughtn't to
worry about them too much.

You ought to
worry about yourself

'cause you ain't
got long to do that.

I'm gonna carve you like
a big fat hog, Cartwright.

They'll k*ll him, Charlie.

No, they won't!

Unhook me, you...
you little rattlesnake!

Miss Annie, you all right?

Yes. How's Charlie?

Never felt better in my life.

Well, we sure
done it, didn't we?

Yeah, we sure did, Charlie.

I reckon we can kind of turn it
over to the sheriff now, though.

Oh, Charlie, you were wonderful.

Well, if that's what
being a hero is,

I'm never gonna tell
another story as long as I live,

so help me.

So, there they was.

Roy can tell you.

Two of the coldest K*llers ever
to come west of the Cimarron.

Out to carve me up with
their knives because I disposed

of their mad-dog brother
in hand-to-hand combat.

I'm not a k*ller at heart.

Anybody here can tell you that.

But when a man
is looking at death,

he has to rely on
his animal instincts.

I wasn't so worried about me.

It was my friend,
Hoss Cartwright.

Oh. So it was Hoss you
was a-worryin' about, huh?

I guess Hoss was
scared to death.

Well, it's no laughing matter,
my cynical young friend.

Sure, Hoss is a
scrapping young fella.

But he's muscle-bound.

He was outnumbered.

Why, them Barkers
had pistols and knives

sticking out of every
pocket they owned.

So what did you do, Charlie?

What did I do?

I gave 'em the old
Comanche w*r cry

and I jumped right
down amongst them.

No w*apon, bare hands.

For a couple of minutes there,

these old fists were busier
than a windmill in a hurricane.

Say, what was Hoss
doing all this time anyway?

Why, I told you,
he was in danger.

Charlie.

Charlie, I was just
fixin' to take off,

so I want to say so long and...

I wanted to thank you
for saving my life, Charlie.

You're a courageous
and brave man

and a good friend.

Well.

There's the mark of a great man.

Hoss Cartwright.

Not afraid to step
up and say thank you.

I guess Charlie ain't
never gonna change.

And I wouldn't want him to.

I don't blame you.

Sort of like it myself.

Good-bye.

Finest humans I ever knew.

And red men.

Yeah, that brings to
mind a little altercation

I had with Amos Many Wounds.

Charlie, I never heard that one.

Tell 'em about it.

I'm going to.

You remember him, Roy.

Sure, Charlie.
Tell 'em about it.

Amos Many Wounds.

Big chief of the Kickapoo.

You know, them...
them anthropologist fellas

said he was the finest
specimen of aboriginal manhood

ever to come out of the Plains.

Well, Amos and I was
joshin' around one day,

and he challenged
me to a wrasslin' match.

Of course he couldn't
know that I'd been tutored

by the first terrible Turk
ever to step into the ring.

You all heard of
him... Abdul Abulbul.

Well, we didn't have
no ring or nothin'.

We just went out
there in the woods...

Ain't but one way to
pack a load like this, boys,

and that's in a '67 Chevy van...

Roomy, easy-loading Chevy vans.

They're great for
a normal-size load

but, when you got
an extra-long one,

there ain't but
one thing to do...

and that's stretch her out.

And that's exactly what
Chevrolet did for '67...

made the new,
longer Chevy Van 108.

They stretched the
wheelbase out to 108 inches.

Cut the overhang,
for better load balance.

It's a stronger van and
a longer load space.

See the big, new Chevy Van 108.

And the newly
designed Chevy Van 90.

Both available with bigger
six-cylinder standard engines,

and a new, optional V-8.

See the brand-new
breed of Chevy trucks

at your Chevy dealers now.
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