03x22 - Fatal Exchange

[bunniefuu]

"Tonight on" Baywatch:

Our new exchange lifeguard
from the land down under.

Sort of a cross between Mel
Gibson and Crocodile Dundee.

Wiley Brown's just
the Australian Mitch Buchannon.

So, it's only natural
you two would butt heads.

You don't remember
my wife, do you?

She died about ten years ago
at Bondi Beach,

when some cocky
young Yank lifesaver

tried to be a bloody hero!

Cheers, mate.

Mitch!

Here, boy.

Fetch.

Attaboy.

Please, allow me.

Thank you.

Voila.

Oh.

What are you staring at?

I just can't get over
how great you look.

This is really pretty, Mitch.

How did you get this
all arranged?

One of the benefits
of being a -year lifeguard.

The beach is my office.

Wiley, take it easy!

No worries, mate.

I'm a natural-born seaman.

Rides like the wind,
don't she, mate?

God, if I had one
of these back home,

I'd turn a few
heads, I tell you.

Oh, she's a beaut.

So what you been doing since
the "Westside Press" went under?

I've been doing
a lot of traveling, and, uh...

I started a novel.

- Yeah?
- But then I ran out of money,

so I just kind of got back
into the freelancing.

So what about you?

Oh, and how's Hobie?

Hobie is approaching puberty
at breakneck speed.

Well, that sounds like trouble.

You know, Kay,
it's a lot different out there

than when we were kids.

You know, frankly,
I don't know

how my mom and dad did it.

Maybe it's because
I had a mom and dad, I mean...

I really think Hobie misses
that strong female presence

in his life.

Ooh, I don't know
about that, Mitch.

I think... I think Hobie's
a well-adjusted kid.

As opposed to his father.

Cheers.

Mitch, there's a dog out there.

He looks like he's
caught in a rip.

I'm sorry, uh...

I'll be right back.

Wiley, over there!

There's a dog
in the water.

Help! My dog!

It's all right.
Take it easy.

Don't panic. It's okay.

You got to get my dog.

We will.

Oh, man, what
are you doing?

Take the wheel, mate.

Come on. Good on ya.

Mitch!

Is she okay?

Yeah, she's all right.

She's okay.

Be right back.

Who is that?

Wiley Brown,

our new exchange lifeguard
from the land down under.

Whoo-whee!

Come on, baby.

Sort of a cross between Mel
Gibson and Crocodile Dundee.

Come on, baby.

Whoo-whee!

Hey, hey, hey!

You did it.

You caught him.

Come on, mate.

Look at the size
of this bloody dingo.

Unbelievable.

- Here you go, darling.
- Star!

Compliments
of the land down under.

Wiley Brown,
at your service.

You've got to admit,
Wiley's got a unique style.

Yeah, sure knows how to
draw a crowd, doesn't he?

Oh, Mitch,
stop being so cynical.

How is that
being cynical?

That wasn't a rescue;
that was a circus act.

All he had to do was scoop
that dog up with a net.

You know what I think
the real problem is?

No, I don't; why don't
you enlighten me?

You guys are
two peas in a pod.

The last of the rugged
individualists.

Brave, courageous, and bold.

Wiley Brown's just
the Australian Mitch Buchannon,

so it's only natural
you two would butt heads.

So you think it's a
male ego thing, huh?

Basically, yes.

Well, that just goes to
show you how wrong you are.

My problem with this guy
is purely professional.

He's more interested
in showing off

than being a
responsible lifeguard.

I'm telling you,

you keep an eye on him
while he's here.

See you later, everyone.

I got no problem
with that.

"I got no problem... "

I need this.

Let's check that duty roster.

G'day.

- Hi.
- Oh, hi.

And where is my mate?

Yo, Matt.

Yo, Wiley.

There you are.

How are you, man?

Look, mate, I was hoping
you'd help me

with that incident
report today.

Well, I'm not too handy with
your Yank lingo just yet, am I?

No problem, man.
I'll get right on it.

Oh, beaut.
Good on ya.

You wouldn't have
a light, would you?

We're not allowed to smoke
in the headquarters.

You're also
not supposed

to wear a towel in the lounge.

All righty.
Have it your way, darling.

No, I mean,
you're supposed

to wear clothes
or a bathing suit.

Yeah. Well, first things first,
eh, love?

Yeah. I'll be right back.

Look, mate, can you help me out
with some change for a soda?

I'm a little short.

As usual.

Ooh-ooh-ooh.

Hi, Summer.
Have you seen Mitch?

Yeah, he should be
down in a minute.

Okay, thanks.

I bet she'll
be spunky, mate.

I'll see you later.

G'day.

Hello.

I saw you on the beach
with a camera.

So, I guess you're
with the press, eh?

No worries, love... I'd
never hold it against you.

Oh, that's so reassuring.

The name's Wiley Brown.

And you are?

The name's Kay Morgan.

Good to know you, Kay.

So, you want
to do the story

on the stranger from
the strange land, eh?

Is there a story there?

A story? More like
a bloody legend, darlin'.

Now, what do you want
to hear about? Huh?

How about the time...

I pulled a dingo
out of a quicksand swamp, huh?

No, wait.

The time the blueys raided

the topless
beach at Tamarama.

Now, there's a day

that won't soon be
forgotten, darlin'.

So...

I'll see you later.

Okay.

Hey, Mitch.

Hey, Matt,
what's happening?

How you doing?

Listen, can I borrow
some aftershave?

Yeah, sure. Help yourself.

- The locker's open.
- Thanks.

- Oh, my God!
- Don't move.

Don't move.

Clementine...

what are you doing
out of your sack?

Sorry about that.

What the hell are you doing
with a snake at headquarters?

Oh, no worries, mate.

She's not poisonous.

Just a little frisky,
that's all.

Hey, Clementine.

Come on, darlin'.

In you go.

Come on, darlin'.

In you go.

How did Wiley
get Tower ?

Because...

he gave me this.

Oh, taking bribes.

That's a nice precedent.

Oh, Mitch, come on... it wasn't
a bribe, it was a gift.

Anyway, he's not out there
by himself.

I'm doubling up
with him.

Of course.

Good morning.

- Hey, Kay.
- Hi.

Hi. What are
you doing here?

Well, you're not
going to believe this,

but you know those pictures
I took of Wiley saving the dog?

Well, I showed it to the editor
at the "Malibu" magazine,

and she wants me to do
a feature story on him

for the next issue.

- All right!
- Thank you.

- Congratulations.
- Oh, well, thank you.

It's not going to win a Pulitzer
or anything,

- but it pays the rent.
- I got to go.

I'll catch you
later.

Was it something
I said? Um...

Nope. Men.

There you go,
mate.

As fresh as a daisy.

No snakes in
the glove compartment?

She's home under lock and key.

Say, Lieutenant...

what do you Yanks
call those little buggers

that eat through wood?

Termites.

Termites. Yeah, that's it.

Why do you want to know
about termites?

Well, back home,
we call them white ants,

but we use the term
in another way, as well.

Now, a white ant is a bloke

that steals
another bloke's bird,

and that ain't me,
is it?

No, sir,
that ain't me.

So, I wanted to set it straight
with you

before I had a go at Kay.

You don't have to ask
my permission

to have a go at her.

Kay's not my bird.

Super.

Then everything's apples, eh?

Look, all I'm interested in
is you doing your job.

What you do on your own time
is your own business.

Fair enough, mate.

Have a nice day.

See, back in Australia,
darling,

everybody wants to come
to Malibu, you know, Surf City.

"Two girls for every boy"
and all that.

Well, has it lived up
to your expectations?

Has it ever.

I just wish
I could stay here full time.

That would be sweet,
wouldn't it?

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Did I ever tell you
about the kangaroo story?

No, no. I don't even know
if I'm ready for it.

Come on,
I got to tell you that.

Okay, okay.

Hey, Mitch.

I thought you were
doubling up with Wiley.

Right after
my workout.

You never told me

you used to go out
with Kay Morgan.

Well, you never asked.

She seems really nice.

Yeah, she is...
real nice.

Another reason to
hate Wiley Brown?

Kay and I are just friends.

We only went out
a couple of times.

Still, you've got to admit,
seeing her with Wiley

adds a little fuel to the fire.

I need this.

Hey, hey, look.

I thought
we were friends.

We can talk
about our problems.

I don't have a problem!

What problem?!
What problem?!

Something has got you
off your game.

I think it's Wiley.

Now, if you question his ability
don't trust him, whatever it is,

I'll call Chief Thorpe

and have him
reassigned.

You don't have
to call anybody.

I'm sorry.

Wiley's not my problem.

Then what is it?

It's about a dream
I started having again.

Stephanie, ten years ago,
I went to Australia

on the lifeguard
exchange program.

I was working a tower
at Bondi Beach...

that's the happening beach
just outside of Sydney...

when a windsurfer went down
just off the pier.

By the time I got to her...
she was probably already dead.

I mean, she wasn't breathing.

That wasn't my concern.

My concern was getting her in.

The waves were huge that day.

We got tossed around
like a Ping-Pong ball.

I knew sooner or later

we were going to smash into
one of the pilings.

What's the lifeguard manual
tell you to do

in a situation like that?

Well, put the victim
between yourself and the piling.

If you get hurt,
you can't complete the rescue.

They teach us that

in rookie school.

Absolutely.

You ever try that in reality?

No.

Doesn't work that way.

There's no way

I was going to use that girl
as a shield.

So I took the blow.

I was knocked out.

When I came to...

I lost the girl.

I had no idea where she was.

Coroner's report
said it wasn't drowning,

that the official cause of death
was hemorrhaging

due to the mast
hitting her on the head.

But from that day on,

the whole time
I was in Australia

every single day,
every place I went,

I saw that girl's face.

Anyway...
I got back to L.A.

I figured I'd better block
this whole thing out of my mind

or else get a new career.

So I erased it from my memory.

I even managed
to forget her name.

It was Sheila Gold.

Mitch, if she was dead
by the time that you got to her,

you can't blame yourself.

Yeah, I know.

I know.

That's why I think
I got a problem with Wiley.

I mean...
every time I look at him...

it just brings up that memory.

He'll only be here a month.

Yeah.

No problem.

No problem at all.

Hell, we'll probably be
best friends

at the end of the month, huh?

No, Chief, he's fine.

Just a few bumps and bruises.

Yes, I'll have
a full report on the accident

on your desk tomorrow morning.

Uh-huh.

Um, no, I'm sorry.

You missed him.

He's on his way home.

Okay. Yeah. I will.

All right. Uh-huh.

Bye-bye, Chief.

That was no accident.

I beg your pardon?

What's that supposed to mean?

We've never had problems with
the brakes on our trucks before.

Are you suggesting

that someone tampered
with your brakes?

Oh.

And who might that someone be?

As if I had to guess.

He was washing my truck
when I left.

Therefore he's guilty
of attempted m*rder?

Come on, Mitch, that's a
stretch, and you know it.

What about the snake? Huh?

Just a coincidence the snake
was in my locker?

And who says
it wasn't poisonous?

Sure as hell
looked poisonous to me.

Hi, mate.

Heard you had a bit of bad luck.

Just wanted to make sure

you're still
in one piece.

Thanks, Wiley.
It's nice to know you care.

Right-oh.

Look, if there's anything
I can do, don't hesitate.

Well, I guess
I'll call it a day, eh?

Cheers.

Good night, Dad.

Mm. Night, Hobester.

You, uh,
you want me

to get you
another ice pack?

No. No, thanks, pal.
I'm fine.

You, uh, you
had a long day.

You ought to
get some rest.

I'll be up
in a few minutes.

Thank you.

Did I tell you
Kay Morgan called?

Yeah, you did.

Did you
call her back?

Yeah. I did
call her back.

She wasn't home.

She said she wanted

to come over for
dinner sometime.

What should I make?

Why don't we talk about
the menu in the morning, huh?

I just want to
impress her, Dad.

You should, too.

She one of your
favorites, huh?

I don't know, it
just seems like...

out of all the women
you've ever dated,

she's the only one I could
really see myself calling "Mom. "

That's real sweet, pal.

I see how you could
feel that way.

But let's not rush it.

I think...

I think we should at least
invite her over for dinner

before you propose.

Good night.

I love you, Dad.

I love you, too, pal.

Night, Dad.

Love you, pal.

Hmm. Hmm.

Mitch!

Hi.

Are you
all right?

Yeah. Yeah. I'm okay.

I'm a little sore,
that's all.

Yeah, Wiley told me
about the accident.

Yeah. Alleged accident.

What do you mean
by alleged?

You've gotten to know
this guy pretty well,

haven't you?

No, I haven't
at all.

Come on, you've been spending
a lot of time with him.

Yeah, I've been listening
to this guy rattle on.

I mean, every time I start
to ask him a personal question,

he, like, launches into one
of his legendary stories.

He say anything about me?

Anything unusual?

He ask about us?

Yeah.

What did you tell him?

I just told him
that we were friends.

That was it?

That was it, Mitch.

What's this
all about?

What do you
want to know?

I'm not sure yet.

Mitch.

What's up, Matt?

Garner just called.

The police found a pinhole leak
in your brake line.

They said it could have been
caused by a nail on the road,

or...

Or what?

Or it could have been
deliberately punctured.

That's it, come on,
give me your truck.

They won't know
for sure

until the results are back
from the crime lab.

What tower is Wiley at?

Switched with Newmie;
he should be down

at Paradise Cove.

Mitch, where
are you going?

To get a few things straight
with Wiley.

Knock, knock.
Hi, Steph.

Hi. This just
came for you

- over the fax machine.
- Oh, thanks.

Oh, great! All right!

What is it?

This is Wiley's personnel file.

He gave me
so many different versions

of his life story that I knew

I had to get
the facts.

Let's go look at it, huh?

Wiley.

Wiley!

Ah!

Ah!

These are just his
vital statistics.

Isn't there a
psychological profile?

I couldn't find one.

Oh, but here's something
interesting.

Wiley told me that he was
a lifelong bachelor, right?

But according
to his family history,

he had a wife

who died two years
before he became a lifeguard.

He said that she drowned
off Bondi Beach

in a windsurfing
accident.

Bondi Beach?

That's what it says.

Does it give her name?

Yeah, but I guess
she didn't change her name

after they got married.

It's Sheila Gold.

Sheila Gold...

Oh, my God.

Wiley's line is dead.

I tried Mitch's truck.

He's not answering.

Come on.

You've led
a charmed life, mate.

I don't know how you managed
to slip through my fingers,

but I'm not taking any chances
this time, am I?

Ooh, I love the smell of petrol.

Don't you?

My wife used to hate the smell.

Said it made her nervous.

I wonder why.

Funny what you remember
about people, eh?

But then you don't remember
my wife, do you?

She died about ten years ago
at Bondi Beach...

...when some cocky, young
Yank lifesaver

tired to be a bloody hero!

It says right here
in your training manual:

Always position the victim
between yourself and the piling.

All you had to do
was follow the rules, mate.

I tried to...

What's that? Uh?

I tried to...

Shut up!

I don't want to hear
your bloody alibis.

Sheila would be
alive today

if it weren't for you.

And I don't care
what the bloody doctor said!

You could have saved her, mate,

but you didn't.

I've waited ten long years
for this moment.

I wish it could last
a little longer,

but then you can't
have everything...

can you?

Lieutenant.

Cheers, mate.

I think that's Wiley.

The tower's on fire!

I'll call it in. KMF- ,
we need assistance, please.

Mitch!

Oh, my god, it's Mitch.

KMF- , we have a burn victim.

Be careful, be
careful, Mitch.

Let me see how bad
you're burned.

I'm okay. Did you see Wiley?

Yeah, he went off
on that Waverunner.

Go after him.

Mitch, we're getting
you to a hospital.

- I said I'm okay... go after him!
- No, Mitch!

I'm not letting him get away.

Mitch!

Mitch, what are you doing?

Come on, Mitch, get him.

It's payback time!

Yes!

Yeah.

Easy, mate, you
bloody got me.

Nice ropin', Mitch.

Not bad for a
bloody Yank, huh?

How about a little Wiley
on the barbie tonight, huh?

Pinch me.

What?

I just want to make sure
this isn't a dream.

Mmm.

Mm!

What are you doing?

You said, "Pinch me. "

That wasn't a pinch.

This is a pinch.

What time is Hobie
coming home?

Hobie is spending the night
at a friend's house.

Oh, I should have known.