03x18 - Stakeout at Surfrider Beach

[bunniefuu]

"Tonight on" Baywatch:

I'm an actress.
My name's Lena.

Hi, Lena. I'm Mitch.

Looks like you made
a new friend.

She's a doll, huh?

I'm leaning towards
settling down.

Hobie needs
brothers and sisters.

No!

Stakeout at Surfrider Beach?

- Mama!
- Guido!

"You told her you were"
a lifeguard?

Please!

You got to do something.

Lena!

Hey, pal.

How can you make me
go to school?

Look at those sets.

I know, it's cruel

and unusual punishment.

What are you writing?

A shopping list.

What do you want
for dinner?

Hot dogs.

Come on, I was thinking about
my famous seafood gumbo.

Yuck! Talk about
cruel and unusual punishment.

You know, I've had it with your
jokes about my cooking.

Why don't you just

put up or shut up?

Fine. I'll make
dinner tonight.

I'm talking about a healthy,
balanced, edible meal.

No hot dogs,

no frozen pizzas.

No problem. I've been taking
a cooking class at school.

I get extra credit for
everything I make at home.

What time do you want to eat?

: .

: it is. See you then.

Okay, pal.

Don't study too hard.

I won't.

I love you.

Swimmer,
you're in a surfer area.

Please move south.

Swimmer,
you're in a surfer area.

Please move south
towards the pier.

What!

Damn it!

Here. Take the can.

Thanks.

Hold on.

You okay?

You took a pretty good shot from
that board out there.

It wasn't that bad.

I think it scared me
more than it actually hurt.

Do me a favor...
try moving your neck.

Any pain?

Oh.

Actually, yeah.

Wow...

If you want,
I got a cold pack in the tower.

It will help prevent
some of the swelling,

take care of the pain.

Yeah. That's a good idea.

Okay.

Yeah. God, I'm sorry.

It's okay. Come on.

Man.

Here.

Put this on your shoulder.
Help the swelling go down.

Thanks.

Listen, I'm sorry
about all this,

but didn't you see the signs?

This beach is for surfing only.

Oh.

No, I'm sorry.

I should have been
more careful.

That's a real pretty accent.
Where are you from?

Italy.

Rome?

No. I live in a small town
outside of Naples.

You're on vacation?

No. I'm an actress.

Oh.

I'm here working
on a film.

My name's Lena.

Hi, Lena. I'm Mitch.

I'm from Venice...

Venice, California.

Oh. The other Venice.

Hey, Guido,
what's wrong?

Who's the letter from?

Mama.

Is everything
all right?

No. Everything
is not all right.

Mama's coming
for a visit.

Why is that so bad?

Because, when she gets here,
she's going to discover

that I'm... not a lifeguard.

You told her
you were a lifeguard?

Guido, how could
you do that?

Well, when I left my home,
I promised Mama

I would become someone
she would be proud of.

That's the only time

I've ever lied to her.

Who knew this was going to
happen?

Did you think you were
gonna get away with it?

Well, because Mama spent her
entire life in the old country.

She never even left her village.

Who knew one morning
she would wake up

and decide
to come to America?

Well, I'm sure if you tell her
the truth she'll understand.

Oh, you don't know Mama.

Telling her the truth

would be like taking a dagger
and plunging it into her heart.

Everything will be okay.

"Now, Garner, I've met a
million girls on this beach.

More than I can remember.

It's just that now...

Starting to come up empty
for you, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm just tired of doing the same
old thing, you know?

Hobie needs
brothers and sisters.

It's no fun growing up
an only child.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

I come
from a big family myself.

You know what I remember most?

What's that?

Waiting to use the bathroom.

Seriously, I think

my priorities
have changed, you know?

It's not a physical thing
anymore with a girl.

Kind of leaning towards...
I don't know.

I'm leaning
towards settling down.

It's called
getting old, Mitch.

I feel the same way.

I'd settle down
in a minute

if I could connect
with the right woman.

Hi.

How's the shoulder?

Oh, much better.
Thank you.

Good. I got an incident report
I've got to fill out here.

Do you mind if I ask you
a couple of questions?

Oh, no, no, not at all.

All right.

Okay. So, I know
your first name is Lena.

What's your last name?

Fiori. F-i-o-r-i.

What's your address?

Malibu Road.

That's a nice part of town.

I know. Unfortunately,
it's only a temporary address.

I'm renting for the month.

It's always been
my fantasy

to act in a Hollywood movie,

live in a Malibu beach house,

drive a brand-new Corvette...

you know, just like

Annette Funicello.

And now I have even been rescued
by a handsome lifeguard.

Well, sounds like
you are on a roll.

Yeah.

Okay.

Any other questions?

Uh... yeah.

One last question
right here.

Um... "Would you like
to have dinner

with me?"

That's a very tempting offer.

But I'm on a very tight
schedule.

It's true.

I should be home right now
learning my lines.

Uh, excuse me.

Was that a yes or a no?

That was a maybe.

A maybe.

A definite maybe?

Maybe.

Aha!

Ah...

I know, I know, I know.

It's a terrible habit.

I am trying to quit.

Look...

people in Europe just
aren't as health conscious

as you Americans.

Oh, I'm not a vegetarian either.

Neither am I.
Do we have a date?

Maybe.

Whoa, ho, ho.

Ciao!

Hey, pal.

Hey. Looks like
you've made a new friend.

Maybe.

Maybe? You saying that old
Buchannon charm

is starting to wear thin?

I don't know, pal.
She's a doll, huh?

Ooh, nice car.

Probably has money.

Let's follow her home
and find out.

Malibu Colony.

Looking good.

Don't say a word,
sweetie.

Give me the keys!

Hurry up.

Let's go.

Don't scream, baby.

Yeah, but see, she's very
sensitive, you know?

At this time in her life
something like this could be...

Guido, I wish we
could help you out, I really do,

but you know, if Mitch or
Stephanie were to find out

we let you pretend
to be a lifeguard

we could get suspended.

No, we can get fired.

Yeah, yeah, I understand
and everything,

but, look, look...
don't worry about it.

I'll just break it
to her gently

and then hope that it's not
too much of a shock.

When's she coming?

Huh? Oh! Her boat arrives

early tomorrow morning
at the docks.

She's coming on a boat?

Mi scusi.

Could you tell me please where
I could find Guido Torzini?

Mama.

Guido.

Mama.

Guido.

Mama.

Guido.

Mama.

Guido.

Oh, let me look at you.

My son, the lifeguard.

I thought you were coming in
early tomorrow morning.

Oh, that was on
the fishing trawler.

I took a freighter instead.

Oh, Guido,

you make your mama's
dreams come true.

If only your papa
could see you...

God rest his soul...
he'd be so proud.

Oh, Mama, don't cry.

Come on, Mama,
please, don't cry.

Control yourself.

Mama!

You're not going
to introduce me

to your friends?

Huh?! Um... Mama,
this is C.J. And Summer.

C.J. And Summer,
this is Mama.

Hi. It's nice
to meet you.

Hi.

Che bella,
che bella.

You didn't tell me
they were so beautiful.

Well, we better be going,
but don't forget

your shift starts tomorrow
morning at : sharp.

Yeah, tower .

It was nice to meet you,
Mrs. Torzini. Bye-bye.

Bye. Ciao.

Likewise.

Guido, Guido.

Mama.

Guido.

Mama.

Guido.

Hello.

Flying in... oh!

Thank you.

What happened?

I'll clean up.

Not without federal aid.

Did you get onions?

The recipe calls
for finely chopped... one?

Great. What about
the parsley?

In the fridge.

All right.

What are you
making, anyway?

Chicken Parisienne,
Hobie-style.

This number mean
anything to you?

Uh... Garner.

That's where he's at.

Oh.

Ellerbee.

Hey, buddy,
what's up?

Uh, that actress
you met on the beach...

well, she, uh,
ran into a little trouble.

What happened?

A couple of guys broke
into her house.

Looks like a follow-home.

I'll see you
at the station.

Here you go.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you for coming.

It's okay.

Garner said
you could use a friend.

I've never been
so frightened in my life.

I thought I was going to die.

Look at my hands.

They're still shaking.

It's okay. Hey, hey!

It's okay.
You're safe now.

Lena, the police
forensic team's

gonna be at your
house for a while.

I think it's a good idea you
spend the night in a hotel.

You're right.

I don't think I'll be able
to stay in that house anymore.

Okay, anything you want
to pick up on the way?

Well, I haven't
eaten anything all day.

Maybe I should stop
and get something.

No, that's-that's
no problem.

As a matter of fact,
I know the perfect spot...

a little place in Venice

that specializes
in experimental cuisine.

Okay, okay.
Come on.

My compliments to the chef.

Where did you learn
to cook like this?

Don't look at me.

It's absolutely delicious.

Thanks.

So, um, what's the name
of the movie you're in?

It's called
The Golden Rose of Tangier.

What's your part?

Are you, like, the star of it?

I play a harem girl
who falls in love with a sheik.

Cool.

We're gonna be sh**ting
at the beach tomorrow.

Why don't you come to the set
and watch?

Oh, can I, Dad?

Sorry, pal, you already missed
enough school this semester.

Oh...

your father's right.

School comes first.

Sorry.

That's okay.

What's a harem?

Uh...

go ahead.

Oh. Um...

well, you're making
a movie about it.

Go ahead, tell him.

A harem, it's...
every man's dream.

Still hurt, huh?

Uh... a little.

You know,
where they tied me up.

A long day...

I'm sure
you'd rather forget.

Oh, not entirely.

It had its high points.

Thank you.

Thank you...

for being so nice
to a stranger.

I, um...

I think I better get you
to your hotel.

Yeah, yeah, I think so, too.

Okay.

Oh my God!
What?

I just remembered
they stole my bag.

It had my money,

my credit cards,
everything.

Oh.

Well, if you want, um...

you could, um...

I think I'm going to lend you
the money for the hotel.

Oh, Summer... thank you

thank you, thank you.

You're welcome.
You're welcome.

Stop it.

Oh, C. J!

No, you've already
thanked me.

You've already thanked me.

It's time to get down
to business.

You are right.

I'm sorry.

So, which tower do I get?

Well, you don't
get a tower.

County regulations.

But-But Mama, she, you know...

No way, it's not
going to happen.

But you can patrol the hardpack
between our two towers.

Mama can watch.
She's got a ringside seat.

That should work.

But now, however, there is
one tiny, little catch.

What catch?

Well, before we
stick our necks

out for you, we think you should
get a little prepared.

Starting with a five-
mile run up the beach.

What?

Let's go.

At last, you return.

Who is she?

What is the meaning
of this?

You promised
to make me your wife.

Cut. Cut, cut.

Why?!

Sweetheart...

the only performance
I'm getting here

is from one horse.

Once more from the top,
and, Lena remember,

don't slap your lover
until after your line.

And Bob, don't flinch.

Once more
from the top.

Okay.

Hey.

Hey. Uh, it's okay?

Yeah. Come over.

What are you
doing here?

Well, actually, I'm working.
The county requires a lifeguard

to be on the set when you're
filming on the beach.

Good. Good, I'm glad.

Maybe you can help me
with my lines.

Sure, sure. Love to.

So what do you think?

It's quite
a harem.

What's all this, man?

Hey, check it out.
They're sh**ting a movie.

No kidding, Sturgis.

Okay, okay.

Okay, people, listen up.

Here we go.
Okay, Lena...

Now, remember, you're off the
coast of Morocco

under a burning midday sun.

You see Ahmad
for the first time

and you want
to slit his throat

so you slap him.

Then as the scene unfolds,
you realize

you're still in love
with him, okay?

Okay. Thanks.

Let's go, people. Come on.
Let's get this before lunch.

I'm dying.
We're losing the light.

You're k*lling me, people.
Let's go.

Camera rolling.

Speed.
And action!

At last, you return.

Who is she?

Hey, look, man.
That's her.

It's that babe
from last night.

You promised to love me
the rest of your life.

You promised to
make me your wife.

Mitch. Mitch.

Cut, cut, cut!

Mitch, it's them...
the guys who robbed me.

They're right there.
It's them, Mitch.

- There.
- Hey, what is the prob?

Come on, man.
Come on. Let's go.

Look out, man.

Ow! Excuse me.

Easy, girl.

I only got a short look
at the guy.

He's frizzy hair,
surfer type, , .

Right.

You're positive these are the
two men from last night?

- Yeah.
- How can you be sure if

they were both wearing
ski masks when they broke in?

The one with the frizzy hair,
he had my lighter.

It's an antique.
My grandfather gave it to me.

You saw it.
Yeah, I did.

That's what
I recognized.

Stakeout
at Surfrider Beach?

Yeah, if I had the personnel.

You're looking at him.

First team on the set.

Yeah! I have to go
get into wardrobe.

- See you later.
- Yeah.

She just talked
to the cops, man.

She's going
to nail us.

No, she's not.

We're going to pay her
another little visit

and make sure she doesn't.

Who is she?

What is the
meaning of this?

That's my boy.

You must be proud.

Well, so far so good.

You know, in a way, Mrs. Torzini
kind of reminds me of my mom.

I'm sorry, I don't see the
resemblance.

No, it's the way she's looking
at Guido. I mean,

look at her, her face
is all lit up.

That's the way
my mom looked at me

the first time she saw me
on duty.

Ma'am, this yours?

It's your favorite, Mama...

tongue on a kaiser roll,
extra mayo.

Oh.

Oh, Guido,
you think of everything.

Sit down and
eat, huh?

There's plenty.

Not while I'm on the job, Mom.

Keep the change.

Thanks.

Oh.

I'll save you some, huh?

Thanks, Mama.

Yeah.

Guido.

What's wrong?

There's a rip forming
at the south end of the jetty.

They just called us
down there.

What about me?
What do I do?

Nothing. You stay here
and you watch your water.

- Everything will be fine.
- Yeah, but...

We'll be back
as soon as we can.

Yeah, but, you know, what if
a? But, uh...

yeah...

Lifeguard,
I can't find my son.

He-He... he went
in the water,

and now he's gone.

Please! Please!

You got to do something!

Guido...

Guido, do something!

There he is.
There! Hurry!

Oh, my God, he's not breathing.

No, no, there's a pulse,
there's a pulse.

Okay, everybody step back.

Are you okay?

He's going to be fine.

Oh, way to go, Guido.

I don't know what to say.

You're a hero.

Yeah, I'm a hero...
I'm also in shock.

Listen, Summer, I appreciate
everything you did for me,

but I quit.

I would much rather

face Mama than have to do this
all over again.

Yuck.

I've heard of junk food
on stakeouts

but this is ridiculous.

Since when have
you been picky?

Since I found out my son's
a budding five-star chef.

Hobie? He's
a good cook?

Awesome.

He must have
gotten that

from the other side
of the family.

Probably did.

What do you think about
this girl, Lena?

She's gorgeous...

and charming...

generally sexy.

You going

to see her tonight?

Yeah, yeah, I told her I'd come
by and help her pack up

the rest of her things.

Mind if I tag along?

I'd like to sit down
and talk with her...

see if she remembers anything
else about those guys.

No problem, pal.

Let's go.

It's time to go
visit our actress.

The deck looks
slippery to me.

Yeah, real easy
to fall off.

Rocks below... brutal.

No!

It's the van, Mitch.

I'll take the side.

You going to talk, huh?

Don't move,
and don't make a sound.

What was that?

Mm-mmm.

Aw, man, let's split.

We can't.
She'll talk, man.

What are we going
to do, bro?

Hey, let's get
rid of her.

Guido, Guido.

Mama.

Mama, I got something
to tell you.

I'm not really
a lifeguard.

Oh, I know.

You know? How do "you" know?

Guido, when are
you going to learn

you can't fool Mama?

Can you ever find it
in your heart to forgive me?

Guido...

you're my baby.

I'll always love you,
no matter what you do.

Besides...

we all tell little white lies
every once in a while.

For instance...

in my letter,
I said this was going

to be a short trip.

That wasn't exactly true.

It wasn't?

Mmm...

I've come to live with you.

Mama.

Guido.

Another day, another dollar.

cents after taxes.

What's happening
with you and Lena?

She's going back
to Italy tomorrow

after she finishes
sh**ting her film.

I guess L.A. Was
too much for her.

Easy come, easy go.

I guess it wasn't
meant to be.

Hell, that's the story
of my life.

Do I sense a little bit

of datelessness on
your part this evening?

Got a call
around lunchtime.

Her cat's sick.

Having a cat scan, huh?

Well, if it's
any consolation,

the whiz kid is cooking
veal scaloppini tonight.

You're invited.

Veal scaloppini?

He doesn't mess around.

What can I say?

The kid's a culinary genius.

You sure he's not adopted?

You want him?

Oh! No, no, no, no.

Let's get out of here.