01x02 - Can an Evil Genius Crash on Your Couch for a Few Days?

[bunniefuu]

Grrr!

[snoring]

[knock at door]

[carries on snoring]

[more knocking]

[groans]

[more knocking]

[heavy knocking]

Man!

-Hi.
-What do you want?

First of all,
thank you for answering the door

at such a late hour.

I realise what an inconvenience
this must be...

Get to it, Eggface.

Well, I... I uh...
I need your help.

-You need my help?
-Yes.

My sinister island lair,
the ultra high-tech stronghold

where I hatch my schemes
to eliminate you,

it was destroyed in the storm.

I was hoping I could crash

with you and Tails
for a few days

until my robots rebuild it.

Please, don't strand me
in this wilderness.

You certainly could use
a roof over your head.

[sniffs]

And a bath.

But how do I know you won't
just capture me and Tails

while we're sleeping?

I swear not to harm you
or your fox friend

during my stay.

I didn't even bring any weapons.
Here, check my pants.

No, no, no, it's OK.
I believe you.

So it's only for few days
and it's just you?

Just me.

And Orbot and Cubot.
They're family.

[groans]

[groans]

[yawns]

-Eggman?
-Oh, hey, g*ng!

Didn't know you'd be visiting
so early.

I'm still in my evil pyjamas.

They've got a trap door
in the back.

[squeak]

What's he doing here?

We have a truce.

Tails is letting him stay here
till his lair is rebuilt.

[clears throat]

Still waiting
on that salmon eggs benedict.

Coming. Coming.

I asked for egg whites.

These are yellows!
See the yellow?

I'm trying
to watch my cholesterol.

And this salmon is farm-raised.

What is this, prison?

It's all some evil plot, man.

First he lures us in with
some terrible roommate ploy,

but then wham, out comes
this -foot obliterator bot

that... obliterates us all.

We gotta get outta here.

Guys, we have to help him.

If we don't,
we'll be no better than he is.

Yeah, you'll be no better
than I am.

Think about how this is for him.

Do you feel scared
without a home?

Do you feel alone?

Are you eating your feelings?

Somebody get her away from me.

Guys, if Eggman needs to stay,
he can stay.

Who knows, he might not be
so bad after all.

[ding!]

Pillow fight!

[Eggman laughs]

[snores and laughs]

[Sonic groans]

[Eggman laughs]

Hey.

[snoring]

Pillow fight!

That's it.
I've had enough of Eggman.

Lair or no lair,
he's out of here.

You can't just throw Eggman out.

Sure, he might be
a difficult roommate,

but it's only because

you guys have
a communication problem.

Communication problem?

He whacked me
with a pillow. Hard.

I'm dizzy and I have serious
short-term memory loss.

I have serious
short-term memory loss.

Why don't we settle this
with a roommate meeting?

Now, Sonic,
do you have something

you'd like to share
with Eggman?

Yes. How to say this
delicately...

You're a horrible roommate.

Nobody in this house
likes you.

Let's frame
our statements with

"When you do this,
it makes me feel this".

Fine. OK.

Uh, let's see.

When you live here,
it makes me feel angry.

You're a horrible roommate.
Nobody likes you.

[sobs]

You're right.

I am the worst roommate.

I've never lived
with other people before.

-What about us?
-You don't count.

[sobs]

Sonic, I think
someone here could go

for two spoonfuls of forgiveness

washed down with a tall glass
of friendship.

-What do you think?
-Urgh.

Eggman,
if we give you a second chance,

will you promise to shape up?

-You bet!
-Roommate meeting group hug!

Not you.

♪Scrubbin' all the dishes♪

♪With my sponge and soap♪

♪Scrubbin' all the dishes♪

♪It's clean enough, I hope♪

Cue the horns.

, , ...

Triple-star bonus kazoo!

[toot!]

Ha-ha, I win again!

That's great.

Well, it's getting late.
Time to hit the hay.

Aw, just one more game.

That's what good roomies do.
We have fun!

I'm all for fun,
but aren't you guys exhausted?

Orbot? Cubot?

They're robots.

They don't get tired
because they have no souls.

-Hey!
-He's right.

-Whatever. Good night, guys.
-Wait! Don't leave.

Just hang a little longer.
I'm so lonely.

Please... roomies?

-[sighs]
-Yay!

[toot!]

We now return
to the Comedy Chimp Show

with your host, Comedy Chimp.

I almost didn't make it
to the show tonight.

I had to go to the doctor.
I had a back ape!

Oh-ho-ho!

I don't have any faith
in that doctor anyway.

He used to be a mechanic.

He tried to fix my problem
with a monkey wrench!

Oh-ho! You, my friend,
are one witty simian.

You're still hanging
with Eggman?

How many hours of sleep
did you get?

Zero.

It's stage two
of his evil plot, man.

We are minutes away
from him summoning

his big obliterator bot

with its obliterator legs
and its obliterator teeth.

Sticks, stop being paranoid.

Eggman's lived here for two days

and he hasn't hatched
a single evil scheme...

[Eggman laughing]

What's so funny?

Remember how I said
my island fortress

was destroyed by a storm?

I... may have fibbed.

You see, I kind of faked
the destruction of my fortress

as an excuse to live with you

and tire you
to the point of exhaus--

Tire you
to the point of exhaustion.

So you'd be too tired to stop
Obliterator Bot!

[laughs]

I knew it!
He did have an obliterator bot.

Why doesn't anyone
ever believe me?

It's not like I'm paranoid.

Stop following me!

Enough!

Obliterator Bot, destroy Sonic
and his four friends.

For-tress? Fortress.

Destroy Fortress.
Destroying island fortress.

What? No!
That's not what I said!

We're still working out
a few kinks.

Obliterator Bot,
do not destroy island fortress.

Do not destroy island fortress!

Affirmative.
Playing up-tempo music

while destroying fortress.

[heavy rock music]

[Eggman] No!

Sonic, you have to help me.

Why? He's your obliterator bot.

Or I'm stuck with you until
I build a new island fortress.

Let's roll.

Gotta stop him... but so tired.

He must have a weak spot.

Maybe there's a clue
on the ground.

This soft...
soft bed-like ground.

What? What's wrong?
Are we under attack?

Oh... right. [yawns]

Eggman, you built that thing.
How do we take it down?

By activating two k*ll switches
at the same time.

They're inside the lair.

There... and there.

Oh, come on.

Right, Amy, Knuckles, Sticks,
distract that metal monstrosity.

Tails and I are
on the k*ll switches.

Eggman, you'll have to show us
how to activate them.

-[yawns]
-Pre-mission group hug?

No.

[groans]

[sighs]

[snores]

Jam the kinetic
barrier processor.

The kinetic barrier processor.

[yawns]

[snoring]

OK, power down
the central operating system.

I knew you were coming.

But you will never
obliterate Sticks

because Sticks is un-obliter...
un-olib... un-oblitery...

You can't k*ll me.

Jam the kinetic
barrier processor.

[toot!]

Pillow fight!

Yes!

No!

Hey, fellas, as you know,

my fortress is now
a smoking ruin.

So I was wondering maybe...

if I could stay with you guys
for a little while?

Just until it's built back.

I can keep you company.

Let's explore your feelings
about being a roommate.

Pretend this balloon
is your self-esteem.

Stop. Stop. Stop!