01x01 - The Sidekick

[bunniefuu]

Grrr!

[Sonic]
You can't lose me, Egghead!

Eggman! You know
my name is Dr Eggman.

You do that on purpose.

Do what, Egghead?

Whoa!

(Sighs)

It all ends here, old friend.

Prepare to be destroyed...
by Burnbot!

He's gonna burn me
with flamethrowers or something?

Flamethrowers? No.

Oh, um... acid?
Incendiary grenades?

No, no, no, no, no... claws.

He has claws, very painful claws.

Then you should have
called him Clawbot

or The Lacerator
or Pinch-a-tron , .

But Burnbot? I mean,
that's just false advertising...

I name the robots, Sonic.

Burnbot, attack!

Hmm...

Blue leader, this is Yellow Sky.

I have eyes on Burnbot.
He's on the move. Over.

Thanks, Tails.

Initiate
Speeding Swing Surprise.

Get up, get up, get up!

Bail, Tails, bail!

Tails! No!

We'll be back, Sonic.

Oof, you are heavy.

Seriously, Burnbot, you could
stand to burn a few calories.

[heartbeat]
Ohh...

Keep resting, pal.
I'll get you home.

Promise, I'll never let
anything like this

happen to you again.

Sonic?

Hey, buddy. How you feeling?

I'm great.
Ready to get back in action.

Yeah... about that...
Um... I've got some great news.

You, my friend,
are taking early retirement.

-Early retirement?
-Yeah.

You'll be able
to play lots of golf

and spend time
with the grandkids.

I don't have grandkids.

Well, now's your chance
to get some.

Trust me, it's for the best.

I'll see you around, pal.

Wait... what just happened?

I fired you.

OK, just checking.

Don't look at me like that.
I did what I had to do.

And now we're gonna make sure
Tails stays retired.

"Sidekick tryouts.

All qualified candidates
welcome.

Best candidate gets the job.

Resume and references required."

Can you believe this?

A resume and references
aren't unreasonable.

Especially in this job market.

What fool would want
to be Sonic's sidekick?

Spending every day with him,

enjoying
his friendship and respect?

Not me, that's for sure.

Unless...

Lousy security camera.

I'm Amy Rose
and I'll be auditioning

for the part of sidekick.

Amy, I know who you are.

Great, because
I am fine with nepotism.

Under "special skills"
add juggling and singing.

♪Oh, when the saints♪

♪go marching in
Ba-be-da-be-da-bop♪

Next.

My biggest weakness?

Actually,
it's my incredible cowardice.

Oh! Improv! I love improv.

I'm a crazy pizza man...
who juggles and sings!

♪Oh, when the saints♪

♪go marching in♪

I think you would be
a great sidekick for me.

No, Knuckles, I'm looking
for someone to be my sidekick.

We'd have to change your name,
though. I'm thinking Knuckles Junior.

OK, last question.

What would you do
in a no-win situation?

If I'm with you,

there's no such thing
as a no-win situation.

Huh, you really get it, new guy.

I do get it.
But I'm not a new guy...

In reality,
I am none other than...

Tails! You cannot be
my sidekick.

"All qualified candidates
welcome.

Best candidate gets the job."

I'm a lock.

Unless there's something
you're not telling me.

Fine. But get ready
for the tryout of your life.

-Hello.
-Eggman!

What are you doing here?

My name is Dr Eggman

and I'm here
about the sidekick position.

Wha... But you're
my arch nemesis.

That's true.

But I could be a valuable asset
to your organisation.

For example, I'm a doctor.

Not a real doctor,
a PhD, but still...

You can't be my sidekick.

"All qualified candidates
welcome."

OK, fine. You both
can move on to round two.

But neither of you
is gonna be my sidekick.

Who else is there?

Actually,
do you validate parking?

Congratulations.
You're the third candidate.

Actually...

All right, being my sidekick
is no easy task.

This competition
will test your strength,

stamina and endurance.

The winner will be
whoever makes it...

Actually, it's "whomever."

The winner will be
whomever makes it

through all of
the unimaginable hardships

and brings me the red flag

I planted
atop the incredibly dangerous

but inaccurately
named Mount Safety.

Actually...

Aaargh!

Aaargh!

Actually, I'm OK.

What's going on here?

Nothing I can't handle.

Actually,
I'm just gonna lie down

in the foetal position and weep.

Give up, Eggman.
This job is rightfully mine.

I'm not here to be Sonic's
sidekick, you nincompoop.

I'm here to get rid
of you both once and for all.

-Tails!
-Sonic, I'm stuck!

Tails, I didn't really want
to fire you.

I was just trying to protect you.

How? By putting me
in more danger?

The plan had holes!

Oh, Sonic? I have
one last surprise for you.

I took your advice.
Burnbot can burn things.

I can't swim!

You're waterlogged.
I can't lift you.

Don't worry about me.
Get outta here.

That's not how sidekicks do.

I'll be back! With a new robot
who has an accurate name.

And super-laser eyes
and he'll feed me ham.

Evil ham.

About this job...
What are the hours like?

Well, it's seven days a week.
But you get your own plane.

[bell ringing]

Let me in! I demand a callback!

Knuckles, what's wrong?

[sighs]

Knuckles Junior
isn't working out.

Oh. So you're saying
you need a--

I'm a crazy pizza man...
who juggles and sings!

♪Oh, when the saints
go marching in♪

[Knuckles] Knucklina!