♪ The ocean and the tides
♪ they have brought you to my side ♪
♪ the ocean never lies
♪ just the waves and tonight ♪
♪ the ocean and tides
♪ they have brought you...
When I was still in my crib,
my father began to read the
ancient Greek myths to me.
He told me these stories
behind my mother's back, of course.
He brought them all to life:
Warring families, capricious goddesses,
violent serpent beasts.
Okay, so you might question
whether they're wholesome
stories for a toddler,
but he insisted.
It was his father's storytelling
that turned him into a classicist.
His students say he's a genius.
That may be so.
But those of us who know
him better know that...
Well, he's got mote keep him together.
Good morning, Professor.
Good morning, James.
Professor?
So you're off for the holidays, Professor?
Ah, yes, of course, Angela.
Unless you want to get together
for some extra tuition
or some extracurricular activities.
Uh, no.
No, your results were excellent, Angela.
Have a lovely holiday.
She likes you, dad.
What, Angela?
Yeah, duh.
Don't be silly.
My career's on the line as it is.
I don't know, dad. She's pretty hot.
How old are you?
Dad? Yes?
Are you worried?
Yes... no.
Well, no, not really.
Except for Professor Ratcher,
everyone else is on board.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, this is preposterous.
It's magic spells,
unsubstantiated poppycock.
How can I justify the expenditure?
My dear Ratcher,
this young man is the most
distinguished academic
this university has seen in a generation.
An American Professor.
I hope you're right, dad.
And what are you gonna do
if they don't go for it?
Um, well, I guess
we're gonna have to go back to Connecticut.
You mean, I'll go back to Connecticut
to live with grandma and grandpa.
Well, just till I get another post.
Besides, it's what your
mother would've wanted,
which is why we're not gonna let it happen.
Dr. Bradley.
Come in.
Dr. Bradley,
you are aware of your very weak position
as visiting Professor Emeritus?
Yes, yes, I am.
You don't have to remind me.
And you are also aware
that the last time we met,
you promised us that your
database would be complete.
I am aware of that, gentlemen.
I'm also aware...
And are you also not aware
that the university grant is over budget?
Gentlemen, I promise you
that what I'm working on
is very, very real.
It will completely change our beliefs
of the ancient Greeks.
Now, if I may impress upon you...
Yes, yes,
we know, and I've had enough.
Now, look, you must understand
that if you give me...
We have decided to give you the summer
to complete your paper.
The summer to complete my paper.
Uh, really?
So contrary to my opinion,
two out of three of us
seem willing to allow you
a little more rope to hang yourself.
I promise you that before
the summer is over,
I will complete my database,
and my research will echo
through the halls of classical studies,
and you all will be responsible.
You won't regret this.
Have a smashing summer.
So till September, huh?
Well, I guess it could be worse.
Do you really think you can do it by then?
I don't know, sweetheart...
Thomas.
Professor Coulter.
Serena.
Thomas, don't get the wrong idea.
We really do believe that
you may have something here
with your love spell theory.
Now, look here.
Why don't you go to my house in Greece?
I don't get there very often these days.
Take your daughter,
and use your time to finish your research.
I'm sure you won't be sorry.
That's really very kind of you, Professor,
but I mean, I don't know what to say.
Ow. Say yes.
Yes. We'd love to.
Thank you very much, Professor Coulter.
You know, I had a daughter once, Serena.
She, too, was very feisty.
You remind me of her a lot.
What are they doing?
What, jumping from the bridge?
That's an age-old Oxford tradition
to celebrate the coming of the summer.
Why?
Why? Because it's fun.
And it's spontaneous, and it's crazy.
Professor Bradley.
Hey.
Get him!
Guys, what are you doing?
No! Oh, my god, no!
No, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no, no, no!
Come on in, Professor!
Come on!
Oh, my god!
No, you don't understand!
He can't swim!
Are you okay, dad?
Yes.
Are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine.
I had a bag. No, that's...
Pardon me. Thank you.
You sure you're okay?
Uh-huh.
You're sure? Yup.
You're sure? You're okay, right?
So we traveled to the
small island of Spetses.
From then on, our lives would
never be the same again.
I bet he's rich.
Look at that.
My dad hates water.
This has got to be like
a nightmare for him.
What happened to your hand?
The gorgons, she bit it off.
The what?
It's a snake-haired heathen.
It's a dark mystical figure of the sea.
Are you okay, dad?
Hey.
Hey, American, you sick on my fish?
It's not his fault.
Give him a break.
A break? A break?
I break his neck is what I break.
If you're sick on my fish one more time,
I kick your ass, okay?
I'm sorry.
Water!
He can't swim!
Everybody can swim!
Go and help him.
Dad, where are you?
American! American!
Dad!
Thank goodness you're okay.
I know. I know.
I promise, this summer, I'll learn to swim.
Even if it kills me.
Ow.
$100 please.
Excuse me?
$100?
Well, you're sick on my fish.
Hurry up. This guy's crazy.
My dad doesn't
speak very good English.
He says don't worry about the money.
Is true. No problem.
Is no problem.
Have a beautiful holiday.
Good afternoon.
Welcome to them.
Marvelous.
I am Klymeni.
Professor Coulter said to take you home.
Come with me.
It wasn't me.
For the love of god, that's...
That was me.
Come in.
This house has been closed for years.
It's perfect.
Well, um...
Uh, that's...
Whoo!
Um, is the...
Are the bedrooms
back that way?
Is that what...
That is delicious.
Another?
No.
We got...
Thank you.
Come.
I will show the bedroom.
♪
♪ wait, I need to stop ♪
♪ I need a minute
♪ just a minute's all I got from you ♪
♪ you took a town with your line ♪
♪ you know it ain't right
♪ if you do what you want to do ♪
♪ everything to say you'll see it through ♪
♪ if you do what you want to do ♪
♪ how you gonna stay alive?
Dad, what happened to
Professor Coulter's daughter?
I don't know.
Um, the first he mentioned her
was when I was with you.
He never spoke of her before.
What's that?
What does this say?
It's ancient Greek.
"What we catch we... Throw away."
"What we don't catch"...
Thank you.
"We keep."
And what does it mean?
I have no idea.
Dad, mom's bracelet.
I must've lost it along the way.
It'll turn up, honey.
Check in there.
"Sleep, sweet sleep,"
"where is sweet sleep?"
"Are you sleeping?"
"Sweet sleep, away from her.
Let her eyelids not touch and
adhere to each other."
"From every place and every house
and bring her thus to me."
♪
Young lady.
If you go that way, you
must be very careful.
Why?
It is the cove
where Professor's daughter disappeared.
A long time ago,
she asked us to treat the
place with care and respect,
so don't go there.
If you do go,
be careful
what you wish for.
Wait a minute.
Babar, when's mama coming
back from vacation?
Soon, Dimitri, soon.
Agh!
You okay?
I'm good.
But it's been four years.
Long time, eh?
Agh!
♪
♪ I can't learn from
the experience I've had ♪
♪ even though for a while
I got, well, mad ♪
♪ you're just an illusion in a nightmare ♪
boo!
You are very nice woman.
Um, I'm not a woman,
and how old are you to
be talking like that?
I'm old enough.
Who are you hiding from?
No one.
Klymeni is a bit of a busybody.
Oh, really?
Yes, she's the village matchmaker.
Really?
Is that an official
position here on the island?
Well, not really.
It's not elected or anything.
Maybe it is.
By the women, I mean.
You won't need her help.
Excuse me?
Do you want to seethe
view from the lighthouse?
No.
Want to take a boat out?
Uh, no.
Come over and watch the O.C.?
Uh, no.
I'll see you later.
Bye.
Bye.
Hello.
Hello, my dear.
Um, so tell me, Klymeni,
what do you think of my father?
Your father?
Well, he's a very nice man.
Oh, honey, you shouldn't have...
Made yourself breakfast.
You good?
What?
I just wish...
Forget it.
Honey, remember now,
you're in Greece.
If you got a wish,
pray to the gods.
Your wish will come true.
But remember, you wish for an elephant...
Make sure you have a place to put it.
I know, dad.
So when would it actually Bethe
best time to meet a god?
Well, that's a good question.
Well, the best time for a
human to meet a god or goddess
would be at noon.
That's when the sun's at its highest
and there are no shadows.
Everything is shimmering.
That's when the divisions
between man and beast,
they break down.
But I don't recommend it.
Why not?
Well, I mean, you...
Let's see; You could be blinded
or worse, turned into a tree
or a very delicious balanced breakfast,
which I don't have.
Either way, an epiphany,
where you encounter a goddess or a god,
is pretty dangerous business.
What if you were to bring the man offering?
Well, I don't think I recall
encountering one literary reference
where a goddess has ever
turned down presents.
They do like presents.
Gonna finish that?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
You're the American staying
at old Professor Coulter's house, yes?
How did you know?
It's a small island.
Want me to wrap it for a present?
No, that's okay.
Uh...
Listen, Klymeni, my dad,
he really needs to find a
girlfriend or something.
Could you maybe help him with
some romance or love?
He's a bit young for me.
Dr. Bedley.
Bradley. It's Bradley.
Your daughter is very loose.
I'm sorry?
She runs around a lot by herself.
That would be another definition of loose.
By herself.
Yes, I understand.
What happened to your wife?
Um, well, she died.
Oh, I see.
I'm very sorry.
It was a couple of years ago.
I wasn't living with her at the time,
but Serena was.
They were very close.
I invite you
to the village party on Wednesday.
That's very delicate.
The stuff doesn't really adhere well.
It's about almost as old as you are.
You want to just possibly not...
Put... don't touch that!
I'm sorry.
All right, Mr. Bradley. I'm terribly sorry.
Come to the party,
and bring your daughter with you.
Okay.
I'd be happy to.
We both would love to attend.
Thank you.
♪ Hey, now, what you
got that makes you smile? ♪
♪ Hey, now, can you see
I like your style? ♪
♪ You look like you are
capable of anything ♪
♪ somethin' now 'cause I feel like ♪
♪ I want to see
♪ oh, oh, oh
♪ you're the moon and you're the sun ♪
♪ you're giving me religion
♪ now I see what god has done
♪ well, you walk like you are something ♪
♪ with your head high in the air ♪
Catch, we throw away...
What we don't catch, we keep.
♪
Hmm.
Dad, what are you doing?
Um, there was just a little...
And what are you wearing?
It's Coulter's.
I found it in the closet and...
Why are you wearing that?
There's a party.
Klymeni said that... she invited us
and thought it would be a good idea
if I took you out.
I didn't disagree.
You don't have to go if...
No, that's great.
Tell me, dad, in ancient Greek,
how do you say, "makeover"?
You look great, dad.
I feel like a jacked up monkey.
You don't need these, okay?
What are you doing?
♪
Dad, are you okay?
Other than being deaf and blind, I'm fine.
Hello, baby.
I'm Dimitri.
I know.
I was speaking to your father.
Well, hello.
May I dance with your daughter?
Hey, you can ask me, you know.
Of course you can.
Well, thanks a lot, dad.
Let's get it jiggy.
Tula, Ula, my nieces.
Well, hello.
It's lovely here.
Where's your dad?
He's in charge of fireworks tonight.
American.
Thank you for coming to my wedding.
Oh!
Put it out!
Put it out!
Whoa!
Dad!
Come on, sweetie.
You don't see that every day.
That party was hot.
Yeah, it was smokin'.
She was on fire.
Nice.
It was a disco inferno.
What?
Oh, that was a song before your time.
♪
You need to experience love.
I mean, the ancient Greeks
thought that love was a sickness
and that if you caught
it, it was dangerous,
and at best, it would make you go nuts.
Nuts? Dad, the way
you were dancing tonight,
that is nuts.
I mean, I didn't even
know you had it in you.
Dad, could we do it again?
Good night, dad.
Sleep tight, Princess.
Nighty night.
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
Say hello to the sand...
Dad, shut up.
I'm trying to sleep, okay?
So how's it all going?
I've got a pattern emerging.
Sequences?
Yeah, well, I don't
exactly know what it is.
I think it has something to do
with the grammatic structure, though.
It requires some kind
of irrational emotional interpretation.
I'm just... I just...
I don't know.
It's right there, but it's, like, veiled.
Truth be told, I think I'm
a little over my head.
So I'm going to Connecticut.
I really wish that you'd never got hold
of those documents, dad.
They're ruining us.
Honey, they're not ruining us, okay?
I'm ruining us.
There's a difference.
Okay.
When I said I was over my head,
what I meant was that...
Here I am trying to decode love spells,
and I'm probably the last
guy in the world who should
because I realized I don't think I've
ever really been in love.
What about mom?
Well, you know, I've been giving
that a lot of thought.
And while your mother was
a wonderful woman and a fantastic mother,
I think what I felt for her
was a deep admiration
and fear.
I was... I was afraid of her
a little bit.
Well, she could be intimidating,
but you've never been in love ever?
What, you?
What are you?
I mean, come on, what are you, 12 or some?
And a half, dad.
And a half?
Uh, you're...
You're not in love, are you?
I mean, it wasn't
that little boat boy.
Honey?
♪ Hey, now, what you
got that makes you smile? ♪
♪ Hey, now, can you see
I like your style? ♪
♪ You look like you are
capable of anything ♪
♪ somethin' now 'cause I feel like ♪
♪ I want to see
whoa!
♪ You're the moon and you're the sun ♪
♪ you're giving me religion
♪ now I see what god has done
♪ when you walk like you are something ♪
♪ with your head high in the air ♪
♪ I'm a phantom lady watching you ♪
♪ I swear
♪ hey, now, is there possibility? ♪
♪ Hey, now, are
you strong enough for me? ♪
♪ You look like you could know things ♪
♪ that I'd like to know
♪ so tell me all about it,
baby, nice and slow ♪
♪ oh, oh, oh
♪ you're the moon and you're the sun ♪
♪ you're giving me religion
♪ now I see what god has done
♪ when you walk like you are something ♪
♪ with your head high in the air ♪
♪ I'm a phantom lady watching you ♪
♪ I swear
♪ oh
thank you.
♪ Oh, oh, oh-oh
♪ yeah, yeah
♪ uh, hey
♪ hey
♪ you look like you are
capable of anything ♪
♪ somethin' now 'cause I feel like ♪
♪ I want to see
♪ want to see
♪ oh, oh, oh
♪ you're the moon and you're the sun ♪
♪ you're giving me religion
♪ now I see what god has done
♪ when you walk like you are something ♪
♪ with your head high in the air ♪
♪ I'm a phantom lady watching you ♪
♪ I swear
♪ I'm watching you
♪ oh, oh, oh
♪ you're the moon and you're the sun ♪
You speak ancient Greek?
What else?
It's the most nuanced, refined,
and most beautiful language ever written.
No one even knows it anymore.
Instantly, I thought
she and my dad would get on great.
Me making a wish compelled her to me,
but she said I couldn't
tell anyone about her,
that it was our secret.
Not at all rational.
True Greek has gone out of the window
along with all the
other important procedures
like worshipping goddesses.
Tragedy.
And someone must've taught you something,
or you wouldn't have made mean offering.
The person who taught me is someone
who definitely knows your language.
May I have the Dean's office, please?
Ratcher.
Ratcher, this is Bindey...
Bradley, Thomas.
I'm a doctor.
I work for you.
Really?
Listen, it's impossible.
I'm not equipped, sir.
This is not gonna work
unless there's... I get an extension.
No.
Well, you offer 'em
to all your top students.
Why, because they're paying tuition?
Is that it?
At least they are paying.
All right, so I'll tell you what.
Let me make it really easy for you, okay?
I'm... I quit.
Okay? I resign.
Resign, hey?
Well, I'm sure the board
will take your very serious offer
into consideration.
Ooh, big words for a little
man in a great, big town
with... with a comb-over.
♪ The ocean never dies
♪ just the waves and tonight
♪ the ocean never dies
ooh!
Neried!
Neried!
Neried!
Neried!
Neried!
Come on, Neried.
There you are.
Whatever it is you think I am,
I'm definitely not some pet.
Besides I'm a vegetarian.
Listen, I really need your help.
You can't just show up
and ask a goddess right out for help.
It defies the laws of gods and men.
And beasts.
Yes, and beasts.
What are you implying?
Oh, nothing, nothing at all.
It was very brave what you did yesterday
just to jumpin the water like that.
Thank you.
I like you.
You have a keen mind
and flashing eyes.
Do you want to go swimming?
Hello.
She's beautiful, isn't she?
Uh, lovely.
A Neried.
Sea nymph.
So how much do you know about them?
Um, well, they were amazing creatures,
renowned for their elegance and spirit.
Exquisite, aren't they?
You think so?
Yeah, well, sure.
Some of them had golden tails
even with jewels on them.
They were a much-sought-after prize
by the titans.
But Nerieds were also quite a handful.
Thanks, dad.
"Longing for
thee sou... from my soul."
"Longing of the soul."
Whoa, baby,
I could show you my rigging.
Oh, so hot, so hot, Mrs. Pavadovich.
Oh, yes!
Oh, ooh, I love those.
Babar!
Gorgona!
Gorgona? Where?
Professor Coulter's.
Coulter?
The American.
Legend has it
that whoever catches a Gorgona
becomes very rich, hmm?
Yes, baba.
I want you to go to Coulter's house.
Find out what the Americans know.
Hi, Dimitri.
Hello, baby.
Hello, baby?
Honey?
I'm a little concerned about how much time
you're spending alone.
Kettle? Black?
Seriously.
Now, Dimitri said he saw you swimming
in a cove that even the locals don't go in
because the currents are so unpredictable.
Dad, Dimitri
should mind his own business.
Look, I know you're a good swimmer,
but do me a favor; Stay away from that cove,
at least while you're swimming alone.
Don't swim alone, which is the whole point.
Dad, I wasn't alone today.
You weren't?
No, I was with a new friend,
a grown-up
like you.
Really?
And, dad, I want you to meet her.
I can't believe... my daughter as well.
Dad, I know it sounds crazy,
but it's different with her.
It would be more like meeting a colleague.
She wouldn't be bored of your work
because she's a classicist too.
What, there's another
classicist on the island?
Dad, she's a fluent
speaker of ancient Greek.
You can't be fluent in a dead language.
Well, she is.
And the history... mythology...
she knows it
as if it's from experience.
It's all so real to her, dad.
Where'd she study?
I don't know.
You either are or you aren't a classicist.
It's nothing you do casually or natively.
Dad, don't be such a snob.
Just meet her.
No.
No, nope, no.
Why can't you be heroic like
the guys you study?
Then just get out.
You can't kick me out when I'm walking out.
Fine. Then all right.
See you later.
See you in the other room.
I don't know why I ever try and help you.
You can't do anything to help yourself.
Seize the day, dad.
Carpe Diem?
Don't use Latin on me.
Get out!
Excuse me, miss, you
haven't seen a little...
Grouper!
Dad.
Dad!
Come on! Wake up!
Serena.
You okay?
No.
I must be losing my mind.
What exactly did you see?
A, well, a m...
Nothing, nothing at all.
A bird, a fish, a person, what, dad?
Interesting,
perhaps a combination thereof.
I'm... it was a vision, a beautiful vision.
It's just from work,
from overwork.
You mean like...
Like an ancient...
Goddess with hair and eyes and
lungs outside of her body.
Really? Come on, dad.
We're in Greece, and it's noon.
Don't play me at my own logic.
Come on, dad, it was probably just
the sun or something, okay?
The sun.
It was the sun.
Of course it's the sun.
I'm getting... you have to...
Thank you. Thank you.
It was the sun.
And guess what, dad; Lt's the perfect time
for me to teach you how to swim.
Swim?
Relax, all right, and breathe.
You can't stop breathing
just because you're in
the sea, dad, all right?
It's your breath,
and that's what makes you float, okay?
Okay.
That's what makes you float.
I got boogies.
Just lean back, dad, all right?
All right, do you remember that
song you sung to me
when I was a baby?
I don't know. Which one?
♪ The tide is high but I'm holding on ♪
♪ I'm gonna be your number one
♪ number one
that's it.
♪ Every girl wants you to be her man ♪
♪ but I'll wait, my dear,
till it's my turn ♪
♪ I'm not the kind of girl who
gives up just like that ♪
who is he?
Who is that horrible man?
The audacity of him.
That horrible man would
happen to be my father, okay?
Father?
That's your father?
What's wrong with him?
Well, he has a terrible singing voice.
I'm sorry, did you say something?
No, dad, don't worry about it.
Under no circumstances will I meet him.
But he knows so much about your mythology.
My what?
Your story.
So you're saying he studied me?
Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying.
Well, I have no need for mortal men.
And then I have to admit,
I do miss being worshipped by them.
He would worship the ground you walk on.
Okay, so legend has it
that mermaids can only grow legs at night.
I guess they're
trapped between sea and earth
in the same way they're caught
between being a godly
creature and being human.
I guess it's pretty sad, huh?
Yikes!
How does that feel?
You, beach!
She said you were an intelligent mortal.
Well, you certainly don't
live up to your description.
Dad?
Do you need some help?
No.
Your father...
Your father said I could come over...
For dinner and play.
What?
Yes, I'm invited.
He thinks you need friends.
Oh, no.
Am I too early?
You're not supposed to be here.
You do not like Dimitri?
No, I like Dimitri.
Bring your box, come in,
but don't wake him, okay?
Neried, priceless jewels.
Priceless jewels.
Agh!
Mama.
What do we have here?
Sheep's head caca.
Try it.
I'll try a little bit of the...
I think it's sauce.
Ew.
"Sheep's head" what was it?
Would you like to try some?
Oh, yeah, I'd love to...
Oh, sorry.
I'll get you another one.
So, dad, what mortals have become immortal?
Other than the ones who
have survived the sheep's head caca,
let me see.
Tithonos.
When dawn asked for him to become immortal,
she forgot to ask for
him to become ageless.
As a result, he became older and older
and smaller and smaller
until he couldn't barely speak.
He could basically only chirp.
He more or less turned into a cricket.
And then there is Dionysus
and Ariadne.
He turned her into a constellation
when she died.
I guess that's kind of immortality.
In rare instances,
there was Ino,
who turned into a sea nymph
in order to save Odysseus from drowning.
That was in the odyssey.
In the rarest of instances
when immortals try to become mortal,
there's always a poison
or a tonic or some kind of elixir involved.
In those instances,
they're usually pretty dangerous.
Why?
If their intentions aren't pure,
they could die.
Baba.
Good evening.
Good evening.
I am here for the boy.
Ah.
Dimitri, we must go fishing.
Good night.
Bye.
Ah, lamb's head caca.
May I? Oh, please.
I was brought up on this as a boy.
Oh, gross.
It's tremendously good.
Dimitri, let's go.
Are you okay, baba?
Shut up.
What did you find out?
They are very nice people.
Nice people?
Yes.
Come on.
You make me sick.
♪ The ocean and the tides
♪ they have brought you to my side ♪
♪ the ocean never lies
♪ just the waves and tonight
♪ the ocean and the tides
♪ they have brought you to my side ♪
♪ the ocean never lies
welcome to my home.
Whoa.
What's wrong?
You don't like it?
Oh, no, no, I love it.
It's amazing.
Well, it does have its charms,
but it can get quite lonely.
No, I wouldn't do that if I were you.
I'll have a soda later or something.
My dad needs help finishing his book.
He needs, like, a translator.
You must help him finish it.
I thought you were
trying to find him a lover.
Wasn't that your wish?
Not anymore.
Right now, it's his work that matters.
Otherwise, he and I are
gonna lose each other.
What do you mean?
My grandparents on my mother's side,
they want me to go live
with them in Connecticut.
What are they like?
They're a-holes.
What's an a-hole?
It means they're not very nice.
Well, if all he needs
is help with his work,
because anything else would be a disaster.
Just a translator.
You do realize that, right?
He and I
are not compatible.
In fact, I'm pretty sure we
don't even like each other.
Thank you. This
is going to be great.
He's going to love you.
You said...
Platonically, of course.
I haven't seen this book for ages.
Ow.
Sorry.
Oh.
Are you okay?
It's just someone I haven't seen
for a very long time.
Serena, we've got to talk...
You.
Dad, this is...
Frankie.
Frankie? You're Frankie.
Frankie? Frankie, meet my dad, Thomas.
Thomas, Frankie. Frankie, Thomas.
I'm sure we've met.
Uh, dad, can I talk
to you outside for a sec?
Now, I'm certain I met your friend before,
if I'm not mistaken. Come here, listen.
That's her.
She's the one from the cove.
I thought I was having visions,
but she was clearly enacting
some new age goddess ritual,
and no wonder she was embarrassed
to be interrupted.
I thought I was nuts.
Dad, calm down, okay?
She's gonna help you with your work.
How is some Neo feminist proto goddess
looney tune gonna help me with my work?
Those people, they don't go
in for true scholarship, okay?
They're just too busy
bashing the patriarchy
and contenting themselves with
lame translations of Sappho.
Dad, shh, shh.
Find your inner goddess?
I should've wrote that and made a fortune.
Dad, will you shut up and be polite?
Shut up and be polite?
She's our guest, okay?
And you're taking us out to dinner.
Yes, first we feast.
Then you worship me.
♪
So, Frankie, you speak ancient Greek.
That's...
I find that ancient Greek
has one of the most flexible verbal
structures... or systems
that is... has...
Um... hey.
It's both active, passive, and...
And a middle voice.
And it's...
Can actually imply motive...
Pretty impressively, wouldn't you agree?
Yeah, the old verbs.
Yeah, I love verbs like"eat,"
"talk," "be polite."
What did she just say?
She... she just cited stesichorus.
You cited Ste...
She cited stesichorus in
defense of Helen of Troy.
I can't believe
you just cited stesichorus.
Mr. Mavros,
I didn't know you worked here.
I'm mooning.
That's moonlighting.
Where's the tail?
Show me the tail.
Hey, show me the tail!
What are you doing?
That's about enough.
Not again!
Why anyone
recommended that restaurant,
I have no idea.
I'm sorry how it took...
I'm sorry that was such a strange...
Oops.
Oh, oh, I'm terribly sorry.
The... you... your grasp...
Of the... of the language
was really impressive, I have to say.
I was completely...
Where did you study?
My father is a Professor,
and my mother is a mermaid.
No, marine.
A marine, yes.
My mother is a marine.
Marine.
That's a curious combination,
but it seemed to work.
I mean, you really know...
A lot.
If you want to stop by any time,
you know where we're at,
and I would love to...
to show you my stuff.
Go over
some things with you, if that's cool.
Maybe we can have her for tea
or maybe Klymeni can put...
No, that's probably not a good ide...
I guess her mom was a marine, huh?
Man, she really slips off just
like a ninja or something.
Hi, I...
Um...
Here.
You look lovely.
Oh, I've hardly met... I'm sorry.
So what is this ancient text
your daughter keeps telling me about?
I can't imagine that would
interest you very much.
Okay.
Good night.
No, I translate a kind of poetry.
Right now anyway, it's
kind of pieced together.
I adore poets.
They're such great lovers...
Of words.
This island has had glorious poets.
Yeah, well, I don't... I don't
actually write poetry.
I kind of write about it,
which is a kind of poetry, really.
It's...
Might I see it?
Yeah, sure, it's...
Fabulous.
It is actually very interesting.
It's an ancient Greek love spell.
And there's only this one section
that I'm having a little
bit of trouble with.
This was the section
that I was having a little trouble with.
When she stands, we shall
not allow her to stand.
When she sits, we shall
not allow her to sit.
When she sleeps,
we shall not allow her...
We shall not allow her to sleep.
We shall let her seek after me.
Dad?
Dad.
Dad, I had a thought, right?
I really don't think that
you should bore her
with all this spell stuff.
I'm not boring her.
I don't think I am boring her.
I mean, honey, does she look bored to you?
You have to listen to me.
She has to go home.
I want to take her home.
Maybe you could swim me home.
Oh, no, no.
I'm swimming already.
You're going home.
Too bad. You're going.
God.
You're going home.
Back to your cave, okay?
But I don't want to go.
Too bad.Go.
Go!
Oh.
Thomas.
You look so gorgeous like that,
even though you're in bed with a huge head.
The problem is, Thomas, I can't sleep
until I just let you know how much I...
Oh!
Already?
Oh, I'll be back.
Oh, oh!
♪ When your dad starts to
feel like a green squishy eel... ♪
dad, what are you doing?
Dad, dad, dad, stop it.
♪ Hold on just a sec,
there's a dog on my desk. ♪
I'm trying to find a way
to break the spell.
What speeell!?
Dad, you know,
when you read a spell to someone,
it makes them fall in love with you.
Where does your friend live?
Not her.
She's not like other women, dad.
She's different.
I know.
♪ When your thoughts start to stray ♪
What's wrong?
Do you know, I didn't sleep a wink
all night long.
I don't know what's happened to me.
I feel like I've been trapped.
No, it was a spell.
It was a love spell.
A love spell?
Well, no wonder I feel awful.
It's a sickness, you know.
So I've heard.
Why was he trying to catch me?
He didn't cast it on purpose.
He just wanted help translating it.
Well, that's out of the question,
me helping him.
Oh.
Thomas.
Ugh.
What if it doesn't wear off?
What are you saying now?
I thought you wanted us to be together.
Yes, but not like that.
He's too weird.
You're too weird.
I can't believe I'm even discussing
this possibility with you.
I'm a goddess.
He's a mortal.
I'm not worried.
What if it doesn't wear off?
Serena!
Serena! Serena!
Dad! Dad!
Serena.
What is it?
I've been looking everywhere for her.
Who?
Your friend Frankie, who else?
That fox.
She's not a fox, dad.
That's a metaphor... it's...
It doesn't matter.
Just tell me where she is.
Dad, Frankie isn't even her real name.
She's not who you think she is.
All right, so she's
got problems with honesty.
Okay, we all got issues.
It's just a... it's a fact of life.
Just do me a favor and
tell me where she's at.
Dad, I really don't
know how to tell you this.
I'm just gonna say it, okay?
Okay.
She's a mermaid.
Really?
You're under the influence of
one of your love spells.
You're in love with a fish.
That's amazing.
Do your remember, dad, at the beach
when you blacked out?
Yeah.
You weren't hallucinating, dad.
That was her.
She's half fish, half woman.
She lives in a cave.
She can only grow legs at night.
Do me a favor and tell me where she's at.
Dad, come on.
Serena, for the first time in my life,
I feel like I have a connection to someone.
Or something.
And it... I feel it's mutual.
I just...
I really want to see her.
I don't care what she is.
You got to tell me where
I can find her, okay?
So do me a favor and just
tell me where she's at.
She's at the cove.
Of course.
Makes total sense. I'm
gonna borrow your bike.
No, I'm not, because it's
pink, and that's lame.
I'm gonna use these, but they're too small,
so I won't use those, but
I'm gonna give you them.
Love you. Dad, wait.
Love you!
♪ The ocean and the tides
♪ they have brought you...
Frankie!
♪ To my side
Frankie, I love you!
♪ The ocean never lies
♪ just the waves and tonight
I'm coming, honey.
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
I'll be right there.
Hold on, baby.
♪ When the waves hit the stone
♪ where the sea meets the land
♪ ooh, ooh
♪ hear the call of my heart
♪ and you will know
♪ where I am.
♪ The ocean and the tides
♪ they have brought you
I love...
I love you!
♪ The ocean never lies
♪ just the waves and tonight
"dear Professor Coulter,
it has all been magical.
"We love the island,
"and I felt welcome in your beautiful home.
"So I'm saying thank
you for myself and my dad.
"I found the riddle:
"'What we catch, we throw away,
"what we don't catch, we keep.'
"I don't know whether I should have,
"but here's my answer:
"'The Neried.'
"The Neried is the answer.
"Your daughter, I know she's all right.
"The last thing is, well, my
dad will finish his book,
"but do you think you could fix
it with the department
"about giving him a little bit more time?
Love, Serena."
I call this meeting to a close.
We will have a vote.
I vote against.
He has my support.
Hmm.
Little girl, you want sweetie?
Little girl, you want little box,
nice, little box
for your little girly thing?
Fresh, brand-new, you want that?
Go away.
You like ugly wing?
You like angler for ship... ship wings?
I have the set.
Leave me alone.
Tell me where the Gorgona is.
You don't want me to get
upset with you, girl.
Ugh!
Come back, little girl, or I kick your ass!
Get out of here.
I'm going to find your Gorgona.
I'm going to cut off her tail.
I'm going to chop out all of the diamonds.
And then I'm going to be having fish kebab
all night long, okay... oh.
Oh! Oh!
Oh.
Please.
Americana.
Oh, no, no, no, no!
No!
No.
Oh, thank you so... ow.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Serena!
"What we catch, we throw away. You okay?
What we don't catch, we
keep,"that's the clue.
It's the identical
structure of every spell.
Every little brown piece of paper
in every stupid little
bottle is exactly the same.
Listen:
"What we catch": Verb.
"We throw away": Verb.
"What we don't catch":
Verb."We keep": Verb.
The spells area catalyst to love.
They... once...
Once you are in love, the real love starts.
Love is work.
It's not a sickness
as history led us to
believe the Greeks believed.
It's rational. It's completely rational.
It's... it's... I mean, it's...
I'm in love with a fish, you know?
I mean, that takes work,
but I'm willing to do
it because that is love.
It's true love.
Serena, I'm in love.
But I got to work, which is a verb and...
I got to go, verb.
Honey, if...
Agh!
So the spell,
did it wear off?
Oh.
It's been replaced.
By what?
By silly thoughts about
the smallest things,
like the curl of his hair
just above his eyebrow.
If you want to know,
it's like swimming on a warm, cloudless day
where the sea's totally calm,
but you're rushing through the currents
the moment you catch a mid-ocean wave,
and it takes you all the way to the shore.
You've got a crush.
But that's the problem.
It's not okay?
How could we ever really be together?
He's a mortal.
I'm a goddess.
You're pathetic.
One minute, you want us to be together.
The next, we're too weird, we're
too this, we're too that.
The decision is made.
It can never be.
Look, no one's perfect, okay?
It's about you
and him.
You need each other.
What are you gonna do?
Stay in this cave your whole life?
Yes.
We do.
I see what you mean.
The answer to the
million-dollar question is "verb."
I'm sorry, you got the answer wrong.
And your consolation prize is
gonna have to be a verb.
May the two of you enjoy a
lovely weekend for two,
and may there be a lot of verbing.
I can't believe it's still working.
Legend has it that an immortal who
drinks from the well of life
can k*ll her immortality
and become mortal if her motives are pure.
And if they're not?
I will expire, disappear,
die.
I love your father.
Oh!
Don't tell me.
Verb? Right?
Noun.
Verb.
But, baba, that is where the Nerieda lives.
And you have a problem with that?
Yes.
What is the problem?
They are good people.
Good people? And that is your excuse?
For wanting to make us rich?
We're going to be rich,
Dimitri, rich, rich!
Serena?
Serena!
Grab the gold!
Come on.
Come on.
Serena!
Serena!
Serena!
Serena!
Serena!
God!
Come on, come on.
Come on.
Nerieda!
I'm gonna get you!
Yah!
Say good-bye, fish.
Agh!
Come here, you little...
Come here!
Get in there!
I'll deal with you later.
Hey, Gorgona,
it's time for me to cut off your tail.
Tell that little girl to step back
or she's gonna get it too, okay?
Let me out! Don't!
Dad!
Dad, hurry!
And so, ladies and gentlemen,
there it is.
A catalogue of conclusive proof,
using the structure of rhyme
and the specific sequencing of
verb and pronoun
as the key to unlock the secrets
of the ancient spells of Hypoclotus.
This clearly depicts the ancient Greeks
as a whimsical people, passionate,
and filled with romantic thoughts.
So that was pretty impressive.
Yes, yes, it was.
This was not a culture
that was based upon fear and demagoguery.
They were a free people...
Tell me, Donald,
have I ever told you
what lovely eyes you have?
Uh, passionate and expressive of
their romantic longings...
A civilization that thrived on
the values of humanity
and, well, love...
If you like that sort of thing.
Bravo.
Bravo.
Dad.
So every summer,
we go back to the island.
The place has a life of its own.
In his book, my dad wasn't quite sure
how he would footnote her.
I mean, she was his muse of inspiration.
Let's just say that there
aren't many classicists out there
who have done what he has done.
A very cool discovery.
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah
♪ when the waves hit the stone where
the sea meets the land ♪
before the summer is over, I
will complete my database.
I was brought up on this as a boy.
Down.
Stay there.
Stay there.
Pop up.
♪ By the string of my love
♪ feel the beat of my heart
♪ and you'll know there's no doubt ♪
♪ when I look into your eyes
♪ I can see what is true, yeah
♪ the call of the sea
♪ is forever in you
♪ the ocean and the tides
♪ they have brought you to my side ♪
♪ the ocean never lies
♪ just the waves and tonight
♪
♪ ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
♪ oh, oh, oh, oh
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah
♪ the ocean and the tides
♪ they have brought you to my side ♪
♪ the ocean never lies
♪ just the waves and tonight
♪ the ocean and the tides
Fishtales (2007)
Moderator: Maskath3