Zeus.
Poseidon.
It's been many years.
What do you see?
Thunderclouds.
But no lightning.
Stolen.
What? You think I took it?
Omnipotence has blinded you, brother.
We are forbidden
from stealing each other's powers.
- But our children aren't.
- You're accusing my son?
I haven't seen him since he was a baby.
He doesn't know me
- or even know who he is because of you.
- If your son is the thief,
I will send him to the depths of Tartarus.
If you touch him,
you will have the fight of your life.
He must return the bolt to me in 14 days,
by midnight on the summer solstice,
or there will be w*r.
And he's alive!
Percy Jackson is a beast!
You're a beast, man! Give me some.
- How long was that?
- Seven minutes.
Seven minutes?
That's crazy, man. That's ridiculous.
How do you do it?
I just like being in water.
It's the one place I can think.
I wish I could spend all day underwater
instead of this place.
Right. It's like high school
without the musical.
Every day it's the same thing. Look at this.
Good morning. I'm Mrs. Dodds,
your substitute English teacher.
Would someone please explain
what Shakespeare was trying to convey
in this line from Othello?
Percy Jackson?
Well?
I'm sorry, I don't know.
Anybody else?
- Hey, Mom, I'm home!
- I'm up here, honey!
- Hi.
- Hey, Mom.
- How was school today?
- The usual.
I think this dyslexia thing is getting worse.
Why do you think that?
I don't know. Maybe it's the ADHD.
You know, I thought this school
was supposed to make things better.
Percy, I know how hard this is for you.
- But someday it'll all make sense.
- Really?
When?
Tonight? Tomorrow? When?
Woman!
Hi, Gabe.
Where's my beer?
- It's in the fridge.
- So, what,
it's supposed to magically float
from the icebox and into my hand?
Hustle.
Come on, man.
You have to do that right here?
It's disgusting. We're in a kitchen.
Yeah, real charmer you got there. Really.
Show some respect, all right?
That's my mom right there.
This is my house.
You show some respect.
Come on.
Why do you stay with that pig?
He smells like a sewer.
He sleeps till noon every day
and he can't even hold a job.
Why do you stay with him?
He's been good to us, Percy,
in ways you don't understand.
You're right. I don't understand.
I don't get it.
Be prepared.
Everything is about to change, Percy.
Everything is about to change.
There are 12 Olympian gods.
The big three are the brothers
Zeus, Poseidon and Hades.
They attained power by overthrowing
their father, Kronos,
chopping him into little pieces.
The three gods have been rivals ever since,
always arguing, always threatening w*r.
On several occasions,
they would come down to Earth and...
- How shall I put this?
- Hook up?
They would hook up with mortals.
The children of these unions
were half god, half human.
Can anyone tell me what they were called?
Percy.
Percy.
I'm sorry. What? What, Mr. Brunner?
What is the proper name
of the offspring of a human and a god?
- Demigod.
- Exactly.
And many became great heroes,
like Hercules and Achilles.
Can you name another?
I'll give you a hint.
You have something in common.
Percy...
Perseus?
Correct.
Now, over here, we have a depiction
of Hercules defeating the Nemean lion.
Hercules k*lled the beast
with his bare hands
and took the skin as a trophy.
Percy?
Yes, Mrs. Dodds?
We need to talk.
Okay.
The next 11 labors
would become increasingly difficult.
It would take Hercules three months...
So, did I do something wrong?
Mrs. Dodds?
Hello?
Where is it?
Hey! Hey. How did you get up there?
- You stole the lightning bolt!
- I don't know what you're talking about!
Give it to me!
Give it to me! Now!
Or I will bite your heart out!
Percy!
- Release him!
- You!
Release him
or I swear I'll tear you to pieces!
I'm going crazy! I should be on medication.
Percy, calm down, okay?
Everything's gonna be okay!
Oh, God, wait! Did that really just happen?
She just turned into that thing?
A Fury concealed in our school.
I should have known.
Wait, a Fury? What's a Fury?
And why did you say
you could tear her to pieces?
- What did she want from you?
- She said something
about me stealing a lightning bolt.
They found him.
- He's in danger.
- Who found me?
- He's no longer secure here.
- Where should we move him?
We have no choice. The Camp.
What camp? Look, I'm standing right here.
If they think he's the thief,
there's nowhere safe on heaven and Earth
for him now.
Percy, take this to defend yourself.
It's a powerful w*apon. Guard it well.
Only use it in times of severe distress.
This is a pen. This is a pen!
Take him to his mother,
and don't let him out of your sight.
Okay. Percy, come on. Come on, man.
Come on!
- Are you guys crazy?
- Let's go!
This is a pen, man.
- What do you want me to do with this?
- Come on!
- Look, man, what's going on?
- Look,
don't trust anyone, okay?
Don't look at anybody, just keep walking!
Why did Mr. Brunner ask you to watch me?
- Because I'm your protector.
- Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.
My protector? Are you kidding?
What, you think because I'm like this,
I'm not capable of keeping you safe?
Maybe you're not seeing what I'm seeing.
You have crutches!
Look, I would give my life
to secure your well-being.
What are you talking about?
What's going on?
We got to warn your mom.
Come on, Perce.
Come on!
- Sally! More beer!
- Mom!
Hey, Mom. Mom! Mom!
Look, we gotta talk, okay?
Hey!
Can't you see she's servicing
me and my friends?
Hey. Hey! Don't talk about my mom
like that, you bald-headed freak.
No, Gabe! Gabe!
Calm down!
- Hey, nice one.
- Like I said, I'm your protector.
Yeah.
Sally, Percy has to leave now.
Like, right now.
Okay.
Look, what is happening?
Okay, I swear, I didn't steal anything!
Honey, I believe you. I believe you.
Where are you taking me?
What is this camp?
It's a camp for really special people,
- like you.
- "Special people"?
- What, am I crazy or something?
- No, honey, no.
Percy, this is about your father.
I was just out of school
and working at the Jersey shore
when we first met.
Your father was unlike any guy
I'd ever seen. He was just dazzling.
They're always dazzling.
We were really in love, Percy.
And then you came along,
and then it was just perfect.
But he had to leave.
So he did abandon us.
No, honey, he was forced to. He loved you.
Leaving you, it was probably
the most difficult thing he ever did.
Why did he have to go?
- Because he's...
- Sally, watch out!
Mom! Go straight!
- Percy?
- Mom, you all right?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Grover, you all right?
Is it me or is it raining cows?
What is that?
Get out! Come on! Come on!
Why are you taking your pants off?
What are you doing?
My job!
- You're half donkey?
- I'm half goat.
Go, Grover!
Guys, watch out, there's glass!
Come on, get out of the car!
That thing's getting closer!
- You don't even need these.
- Look, man, those are just for show.
Follow me!
This way, guys! This way!
Come on! Come on! Come on, run! Run!
Come on! Come on!
We're here!
- Mom! What are you doing?
- This is as far as I can go.
- Come on!
- I can't go through! I'm not like you!
- Look, I'm not leaving without you.
- You have to!
You're meant to!
Put my mother down!
Percy, go! You're safe inside the gate!
- What can I do?
- Listen, use the pen!
- What?
- Use Brunner's pen and click it!
Perce, are you okay?
Percy, behind you!
- Perce, you okay?
- I'm not feeling...
Percy!
Perce, I'm sure glad you're alive.
- Where am I? What is this place?
- The infirmary.
- You've been unconscious for three days.
- Three days?
So, Perce, what do you remember?
Some crazy dream. I don't know.
There was a monster. My mom was there.
You were there, too, but you were
some weird hybrid man-goat thing!
Yeah. The politically correct term is Satyr.
No.
No, no, no, no!
All of it was real? My mom's gone?
I'm sorry, Percy. I try, man, I really do.
But, frankly, I'm just a junior protector.
I don't have my horns yet.
It was my fault.
It was my job to protect you.
Both of you.
So this is Camp Half Blood.
- "Half" meaning what?
- I think you know.
"Half" meaning "half mortal, half god."
- Fire!
- Guys! Watch the arrows!
Newcomer! Hello!
Look, man, remember all the myths
about Greek gods and goddesses?
Well, they're not myths.
Look, remember what Mr. Brunner said?
Sometimes they come down to Earth
and they fall in love with mortals?
And then they have kids?
- No way.
- Yes way.
Yep, you're a demigod!
Two points for Percy Jackson!
Look, don't worry. But you're not alone.
There's hundreds in the world.
Some lead normal lives,
and some, I'm not allowed to divulge
their names, are very famous.
I'm talking about,
like, White House famous.
See, man, this place right here,
this is the place where you'll learn
to harness your powers.
You'll train to become leaders,
warriors and heroes.
I think you have the wrong guy, all right?
I'm not a hero.
I'm a loser. I have dyslexia, ADHD.
And those are your greatest gifts.
When you try to read,
the words float off the page, right?
That's because your brain is hardwired
for Ancient Greek, not English.
Like at the museum, I could read.
Yeah. And your ADHD?
You're impulsive, Percy. You can't be still!
Those are your natural
battle reflexes, man.
They kept you alive in your fight.
Look, no pitiful loser can defeat
a Minotaur.
Your blood is special.
It's the blood of a god.
This is a lot to process.
Yeah, a lot. A lot.
This is where you'll do
most of your battle training.
What's her name?
- She will squash you like a bug.
- Her name.
Annabeth. Daughter of Athena,
the goddess of wisdom.
Hey, no staring. Keep it moving.
Keep it moving. Come on.
There's someone I want you to see.
Check this out.
What are those things?
They're Centaurs.
- Wait a minute. Is that Mr. Brunner?
- Come on.
Mr. Brunner?
In my world, I'm known as Chiron.
- Are you recovered?
- Am I recovered?
You, you're not in a wheelchair. You have...
A real horse's ass.
I apologize for hiding my true form,
but I needed to keep an eye on you.
I hope you'll forgive me.
Come.
Hey, Grover!
The daughters of Aphrodite.
Okay. All right, guys.
You guys got a lot of catching up to do.
Their mother is the goddess of love,
so you know where that leads.
Hey, baby!
Satyrs.
What is this place?
Welcome home.
Your father built this for you.
This whole place is mine?
This thing's got some weight to it.
My father is Poseidon!
God of the seas.
Why didn't anybody tell me?
It was for your own safety.
It's exceedingly rare for a child
to be born to one of the big three.
You're very powerful.
A threat.
A threat? Who am I threatening?
Poseidon's brothers, Zeus and Hades.
That's why your mother married
your stepfather.
His pungent odor masked
the smell of your blood
and hid you from anything
or anyone the gods would send to k*ll you.
My mother put up with that creep
to protect me?
I wish I'd known.
She sacrificed so much for me.
Now she's gone.
Why am I even here?
You're here because you're in jeopardy.
Everyone thinks you're the lightning thief.
Look, I didn't steal it.
Zeus' bolt is the most powerful w*apon
ever created.
And if it's not returned
by the summer solstice, in 10 days,
- there will be a w*r.
- This is your problem, all right? Not mine.
- This is about your world, not mine.
- This is about all worlds!
Olympians would be forced to choose sides.
Earth would become a battleground.
Mountains erupted, earthquakes,
raging fires!
The end of life as you know it.
What can we do?
I want to take you to Olympus,
convince Zeus of your innocence.
Someone's using you to start a w*r.
What are we doing here? Let's go now.
Your boldness is commendable,
but outside those gates
you would be in danger at all times.
The Fury and the Minotaur were
only the beginning.
First, we must train.
This is always a fun game to watch.
God, how do you guys wear this stuff?
It weighs more than me.
Look, trust me. Wear it or you'll get k*lled.
Wait. What? What? Wait...
Heroes! Warriors!
Fall in!
Hustle, hustle!
Dylan, Paris, stop lollygagging!
Percy. Step forward.
This is Percy Jackson!
And he's going to need a team.
We'll take him.
I'm Luke. Son of Hermes and camp leader.
Not necessarily in that order.
Where's your helmet?
No one gave me one.
Chiron, you still got your wheelchair?
Kid's gonna need it.
You're a goner, man.
I'm messing with you.
Smile a little bit. It's good for you, kid.
Anybody got an extra helmet?
Please pass it up.
Try it on.
That'll protect you. So will all of us.
Welcome to the Blue Soldiers, my friend.
All right! Everyone in position
for Capture the Flag!
First team to capture
the enemy's banner wins.
Dismissed!
Steady, steady!
Now!
Percy, I know where the flag's at.
Come on!
Keep your eyes open. Don't get k*lled.
I'm coming, buddy, I'm coming!
Sons of Ares. Watch out!
Whoa, that's a sword! That's a sword!
You guys take camp way too seriously.
Go!
Percy, get out of here! Go look for the flag!
How did I just do that?
No.
I won.
Did you really think it would be that easy?
My mother is goddess of wisdom
and battle strategy.
Do you know what that means?
I always win.
I always lose. Maybe we're both wrong.
Okay, Chiron, shouldn't we get in there
and stop them?
- She's k*lling him, man.
- You've got to be kidding.
This is the best part!
Stand up and fight,
hero.
Come on, Perce. Come on, Perce.
Go to the water.
The water will give you power.
Yeah, Perce!
- Get up there.
- All right! Yeah!
Excuse me! Excuse me!
Ladies and gentlemen,
the son of Poseidon is coming through.
A hero is coming through! Move it!
Hey, no dirty looks. Stop that.
- Sorry, I'm trying...
- Hey, Percy?
We're having a party at our place later.
And we would really love it if you came.
I'd love to come. That'd be great.
- That would be amazing!
- Awesome.
I would love to come, too, to the party.
You know? Thanks for inviting me, ladies.
Beat it, nymphs.
Wait, don't leave. Ladies... I'm available.
Wait, come on, don't leave.
I'm available! What time's the party?
- Feeling like a hero?
- More like a mutant.
I'm not gonna grow a fish tail or gills
or anything like that, am I?
Not likely.
Although a huge ego
isn't out of the question.
You know you could have k*lled me
out there?
I could have died, if I was normal.
But you aren't.
I get the sense
that you don't like me very much.
It's possible.
I mean, our parents hate each other.
Wait. They do?
I definitely have strong feelings for you.
I just haven't decided
if they're positive or negative yet.
Well, you let me know
when you figure it out.
You'll be the first.
Percy Jackson, show yourself!
Hades! Stay back!
Percy Jackson, bring me the bolt!
Be a good boy.
Hand it to me
and I will exchange it for your mother.
Percy! Don't listen, Percy!
My mother's gone!
No, your mother is still alive.
I sent the Minotaur to abduct her.
She is here with me in the Underworld.
Mom?
Percy?
What have you done with my mother?
If you ever want to see your mother again,
you will bring me the bolt!
- Chiron, I have to go get her.
- Percy, you don't have the bolt.
Look, I'll tell him the truth!
When he realizes I'm not the thief,
he'll release her.
No. You cannot negotiate with Hades.
When he finds out you don't have the bolt,
he'll k*ll you and your mother.
- This is her only chance.
- No.
Stick to our plan.
Travel to Olympus, bargain with Zeus.
Once you convince him of your innocence,
we will do everything in our power
to bring back your mother.
Okay.
Going somewhere?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm going for a walk.
- For a walk? I'm coming with you.
- No, no, I'm going alone.
- No, I'm coming with you.
- No!
You're being followed.
- You're stressing me out.
- Leave me alone.
We got a 1:00 demigod curfew, okay?
Leave me alone. Go to sleep or something.
No.
- Come on.
- One small victory
and you're ready to fight Hades?
- Double team.
- Really? You, too?
Look, I just found out my mother
is still alive. I'm gonna get her back.
- From the Underworld?
- Whatever it takes.
Yeah, well, maybe you'll outsmart Hades.
- Maybe I will.
- Look, man,
I can't let you do this, okay?
Look, I'm not asking for your permission.
Okay. Well, according to regulations,
if I can't stop you, I must accompany you,
'cause I'm your best friend
and your protector.
Junior protector.
Is that really necessary?
I don't need your help. Okay?
This is something I have to do on my own.
Yeah, well,
we weren't asking for your permission.
Come on, all right?
Today you tried to k*ll me.
- Now you want to defend me?
- That wasn't real.
- That was just training.
- Yeah.
Percy, that's all I've ever done,
is train and train and train.
I've grown up here. I've only been
in the outside world a couple of times.
And I've never had the chance
to go on an actual quest.
Besides, you've won one battle
and I've won hundreds.
- You're gonna need my experience.
- Good point.
You two really want to come?
- Yes!
- Yeah!
Okay. I guess we're all going.
So who knows how to get to the Underworld?
I did not think of that one.
I think I know someone who might.
Friendly Harriers inbound!
Luke?
Hey, guys.
Percy. I figured you'd stop by
sooner or later.
Everybody does,
just to get away from all that
Renaissance fair stuff out there, you know?
But welcome to the modern world.
Cool. New stuff.
- What are you guys up to?
- We're going to get my mom back.
Your dad is the messenger of the gods,
one of the only ones
who's gotten in and out of the Underworld.
Do you have any idea how?
My dad's a jerk. I've never met him.
- You, too?
- Guess we all got Daddy issues, huh?
That's because all gods are the same.
Selfish.
They only care about themselves.
But I once broke into my dad's house.
Got some cool stuff.
For you.
Flying shoes?
They're my dad's.
He has hundreds of these little guys.
He won't even miss them.
Look underneath the other one.
You see, people have gone
to the Underworld before
without having to be dead.
Hercules did it. Orpheus did it.
My dad does it all the time.
Getting in's the easy part.
Getting out, now that's tricky.
This is a map to Persephone's pearls.
Persephone? You mean Hades' wife?
Yeah, he forced her to marry him.
Keeps her prisoner.
Needless to say, she hates it there.
It's hot, he's a weirdo.
So she has secret visitors.
She keeps pearls hidden for them
all over the world,
and these pearls, they provide
a quick escape from the Underworld.
You could use them to get out.
- So, how do the pearls work?
- Easy.
You take a pearl, you step on it,
you crush it,
visualize where you want to be taken.
Right now, there's three pearls
in the United States.
This map will guide you there.
Right here is your first location.
"Auntie Em's Garden Emporium."
Once you find the first pearl,
the map will show you the next one,
and the next one,
and then you're off to Hades.
Which reminds me. You guys
might need some extra protection, so...
My favorite shield.
You might want to take a step back.
- Hey. Thanks, Luke.
- Don't mention it.
But you're gonna have to promise me
one thing.
If you see my dad on the highway to hell...
Yeah?
Kick his ass for me.
This place definitely needs
an extreme makeover.
Hello!
Hello? Anybody home in Auntieville?
Check this out. They got free sodas.
Okay. That's nasty.
The Health Department needs
to give this place an F.
Hey, guys, check this out.
Look at this.
Nice.
- Gold drachmas.
- That means we're on the right track.
Here.
How are we gonna find the pearl
in this place?
That's a good question.
Okay, let's split up. Check everything.
- Good idea.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna go this way.
Hello?
- Get out! She's coming!
- What? Who?
We stopped... Directions...
My poor husband! Help me!
Please, help me!
Check this out.
He looks just like my Uncle Ferdinand.
That's crazy.
He got the mole in the same place.
No. It's not my Uncle Ferdinand,
because Uncle Ferdinand was k*lled by
Medusa.
Percy! Annabeth!
- We're in trouble!
- Grover?
Please! We have to leave
before she finds us!
- Who?
- She's turned my husband to stone!
Grover! Where are you?
Percy! Annabeth!
- Annabeth, where are you?
- Grover!
- Come on, man, watch where you're going!
- Perce! Listen.
- Where are we?
- We're in Medusa's lair.
- Annabeth!
- Annie!
We're lost! We'll never leave!
Don't move.
Well, this is a fabulous surprise.
It's so heartening
to have such young visitors.
We get so lonely here.
Don't we?
That's why I create my statues.
They're my only company,
daughter of Athena.
- How do you know me?
- You have such beautiful hair.
I once had hair like that.
I was courted,
desired by many suitors.
But that all changed
because of your mother,
the woman who cursed me.
Who turned me...
- Don't look!
- ...into this!
They say the eyes are windows to the soul.
I hope you find my eyes
attractive.
So rude, not looking people in the eyes.
Come on.
Sneak a peek.
How are we supposed to fight something
we can't look at?
We can look at a reflection.
Okay, wait. Check this out.
All right. Good idea.
I'm gonna go get Annabeth.
- Okay, I'm gonna take care of Medusa.
- Okay.
You'll make a wonderful
addition to my collection.
We'll be friends forever.
Do you mind?
No, no.
Sooner or later you will open those eyes.
The temptation to look at me is
too hard to resist.
Don't look, Annabeth!
Don't open your eyes!
Who's that?
Another demigod?
I can sense you.
Son of Poseidon.
I used to date your daddy.
- Need a hand?
- Grover. Help.
- Thanks. Okay.
- Come on. Let's go.
I hear you have the lightning bolt.
May I see it?
I don't have it!
Let me see your eyes.
I hear they're bluer
than the Circassian Sea.
Open them,
or my hungry babies
will have to open them for you.
But it would be such a pity
to destroy such a young and handsome face.
Stay with me, Percy.
All you have to do is look.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm okay.
Son of Poseidon!
Heads up.
Hey, guys! It's cool to open up your eyes!
Annabeth, that was
great, great demigod driving.
Thanks.
- We should take it with us.
- The head? Oh, no. That's sick.
If you open the eyes, they still work,
dead or alive.
You never know when something like that
might come in handy.
Yeah, you're right. But I'm not touching it.
Come on, man, just take off your jacket.
We'll wrap it up until we get some ice.
Why do I got to take off my jacket?
Because you're the protector.
Yeah, you're right. I am the protector.
So I'm gonna give you my hoodie,
not my jacket. Okay?
Come on, you baby.
Disgusting.
Yeah, just toss it up. Come on, don't...
Hey. Hey. Guys, wait.
The pearl.
One down, two to go.
Would have been nice
if Luke had warned us about Medusa.
Maybe he just didn't know.
GPS from the gods. Where to next?
Let's see.
The Parthenon in Nashville.
Nashville? Oh, great.
Home of my least favorite music.
- Let's stop for the night!
- Yeah.
- Let's stop for the night!
- Yeah.
- Good idea.
- Oh, my God.
Percy.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Nice work today. Thanks.
What happened to you?
That poor lady who turned to stone, she...
She had a tight grip.
Check this out.
Cool. Very cool.
So,
why do our parents hate each other?
They both wanted to be
patron god of Athens.
And the people chose Athena.
And our parents have hated each other
ever since.
- What's your mom like?
- I don't know.
- I never met her.
- What? Is it like this for everybody?
- Don't any gods see their kids?
- It's forbidden.
Right after we were born, Zeus decreed
that the gods couldn't have physical
contact with their mortal offspring.
- That's a stupid law.
- I agree.
Although, between us,
I think my mother speaks to me sometimes.
In times of trouble, I hear her voice
- giving me advice.
- That's happened to me!
Yeah. That's your father talking to you.
Yo, Percy! Get in here, man! This is ugly!
Right.
Hey, hurry up!
Perce, check this out, man.
You're on TV.
...surrounding the missing boy,
Percy Jackson,
and his mother, Sally Ugliano.
But their relatives have
some interesting theories.
So, Mr. Ugliano, talk to me
about your son, Percy Jackson.
No, he's not my son. He's a stepson.
He did not come from these loins.
Ever since he started with the dr*gs
and the alcohol,
- he's never been the same.
- Oh, no.
Five nights ago, he tried to k*ll me
and he threw his mother on the ground.
And his cr*pple friend then att*cked me
from behind and knocked me out.
When I woke up, Sally was gone.
She was kidnapped by Percy.
- She would never leave with that...
- Shut up, Gabe.
Great. Now I'm a fugitive.
See? That's what I'm talking about, man.
Gabe's always running his mouth.
He's just mad because
I busted him up with my crutches.
Guys,
I can't pee with her watching me.
Sorry, guys. I messed up.
I should have closed the curtains.
Come on, guys. Let's hit the road
before Homeland Security shows up.
That's amazing.
A complete replica of the Parthenon
in Nashville.
All right, guys. Let's go get the pearl.
Hey. That's your mom.
I wonder if she really looks like that.
We'll find out.
Guys, check this out. Oh, man.
It's the pearl.
- That was easy.
- Easy?
It's 30 feet in the air
and this place is filled with tourists.
I got an idea.
We'll come back after the place closes.
Come on, follow me.
Or I can just throw my crutch up there.
- I'm saying, the pearl would fall out...
- Grover!
Perce, I'm saying... It's not a bad idea!
The park's been closed for an hour.
Let's move.
Yes, sir!
- All right, this will be easy.
- Okay.
I'm gonna fly up.
I'm gonna use Luke's flying shoes.
- I'm gonna grab the pearl, and...
- Cool.
Okay, so what are we going to do?
All right, guys.
I got this.
You got what? Hey, yo, hey, listen!
- You're going to k*ll the janitors?
- Chill.
Those are working-class Americans!
Oh, man.
- Why did you do that?
- They're not dead, they're unconscious.
- Now, we have 30 minutes. Come on!
- Cool.
- Y'all, what's cracking?
- Hey.
- Luke!
- Annabeth!
How do you turn on the shoes?
Tell Percy he's got to
break into a run, okay?
He's got to build up speed,
kind of like a jet on a runway.
It's gonna take some practice.
Okay.
I got this.
It's gonna take some practice!
- I got it!
- Yes!
- Yeah, Percy!
- There we go!
- There it is.
- Yeah!
- That's what I'm talking about.
- Way to go.
All right, let's grab everything...
Oh, man.
Look, I got this, okay?
Hey, guys,
I'm with Park Recreational Services.
You guys have been caught
sleeping on the job. You better be happy
I'm not writing you guys up, okay?
This is the last time.
We've been expecting you, Mr. Jackson.
Not again.
Just give us the lightning bolt
and we'll let you go.
Look, I don't have the lightning bolt.
Okay. This is bad.
Hydra!
Guys, watch out!
The middle one spews fire!
You got a sweet tooth? All right! Try that!
Percy, stop! No!
How flipping awesome was that?
I just k*lled that thing!
k*lled it? You only made it worse.
- What are you talking about?
- Percy, when you cut off one Hydra head,
two more grow back.
Get back!
Distract that thing! I'll get the pearl!
Let's go!
Let's go! Come on!
Go! Open the door!
The door won't open!
Grover!
That's nasty.
We interrupt
our regularly scheduled programming
for this special report.
Scientists are baffled
by what now appears to be
a single storm cloud that is expanding
over much of Europe and Asia,
moving towards the United States.
Savage winds, rain and mammoth waves
are being reported along the coastlines
of several continents.
So far, no casualties, but countries
everywhere are preparing for the worst.
The gods are angry.
We need to get the last pearl.
Where's the next location?
Yeah.
Well, let's see.
Well, guys, we got ourselves a good one.
We're going to Vegas!
Yo!
There it is.
Lotus Casino.
I've been looking forward to this!
Look, guys,
remember, always split the eights,
never the tens, okay?
We're not here to gamble, remember?
- We got poker, we got blackjack...
- Grover, we're not here to have fun.
We just need to
grab the pearl and go, okay?
All right.
This is nice!
Okay, this place is officially dope.
Here's your complimentary Lotus Fun Book.
Thanks, but we're not staying.
Please, I insist. It's good for
everything in the hotel and casino.
Don't comp us. We're not checking in.
- Okay, that guy was persistent.
- Yeah!
Yeah, we're here for one thing
and one thing only.
That is really awesome.
Where would we find a green pearl
in this place?
Maybe on a cocktail waitress or a showgirl.
We should start there.
Can I get you something?
Try a lotus flower. They're so good.
- It's our signature dish.
- Really? Signature?
Is it good?
- Thank you.
- Yo, do we have to pay for this?
- I guess we don't.
- It's free.
That's really good.
This is the most delicious thing
I've ever consumed!
Guys, why don't we stay here for a while?
- Yeah!
- That sounds like an amazing idea.
But we're on a
time-sensitive mission right now.
- Aren't we...
- I can't remember.
I totally forgot what I was gonna say.
I think I figured it out.
I think I know why we're here.
- Why are we here?
- To have fun.
Okay. Let's never leave!
- Yeah!
- Let's stay here!
Yeah!
You're awesome!
- Thanks.
- Thank you! Thanks.
No, Percy. Don't eat the flower.
It dulls the senses,
keeps you prisoner here.
Hey, I think I'm gonna go get some air.
I'll be right back.
Okay.
- Another lotus flower?
- No, I'm good. Thank you.
Look around you. Focus. Focus!
- Another lotus flower?
- No, thank you.
- Would you like another one?
- I'm fine.
- The French Connection?
- Yeah. You seen it yet?
Yeah, yeah, I think so, on DVD.
What's DVD?
Seriously?
Whatever.
I think it's the best movie of the year.
What? Wait. This year?
Yeah, this year. 1971.
Percy, wake up.
You need to escape.
- Wake up!
- You could really use a lotus flower.
I really don't want one.
- Thank you.
- Just one.
No!
Another lotus flower?
- No.
- We insist.
I really don't want another lotus flower,
so please, leave me alone.
Is there a problem, Mr. Jackson?
No. Thank you.
Percy Jackson's awake.
Excuse me. Annabeth. Annabeth!
What're you doing with that?
Don't eat that.
- What?
- We have to go. Now.
What do you mean?
We're having so much fun!
No, no, no, we're not having fun.
Grover! Grover! Wake up!
Grover! Come on, we got to go!
What? Look, Perce,
your timing is terrible, okay?
Dude, we're heading to the chapel.
We're getting married!
- How romantic!
- No, no, no, no, no.
Hey, which of y'all did I propose to?
- Wake up!
- Yo, man, you're such a buzz k*ll.
Percy, what's wrong with you?
Why are you doing this?
Both of you need to wake up, now!
Look at me. Look at me.
You're in a trance, okay? We're trapped!
Listen to me. If you eat the flowers,
you're never gonna want to leave. Okay?
We're gonna be stuck here forever!
Oh, no. We got to go.
- Okay, I see your point! Okay.
- Let's get the green pearl!
Hold it right there!
Stop right where you are.
Move, James Dean! Out of the way!
Let's go, guys! Car! Car!
Come on, guys! Car!
Get in!
Come on, come on!
In the car, in the car! Let's go!
- Keys! Got the keys.
- Come on! Go!
- Drive! Drive!
- They're coming! They're coming!
- Come on, start driving!
- I got this.
Go!
Now, that's how you get out of a casino!
That's how you drive!
Of course. Now that all makes sense.
- What?
- That was the lair of the lotus eaters.
They've been luring people
into their trap since ancient times.
Guys, look. Tomorrow is June 21st.
No. No, no. It can't be. Today's the 15th.
No, tomorrow is the 21st.
We were in there for five days.
- It felt like hours.
- Then tomorrow's the solstice.
Our deadline is tomorrow at midnight.
Okay, look, we've got to move it.
Where's Hades?
It's in Hollywood.
All right. I can get us there in four hours.
Maybe three.
And now,
the latest breaking news from KZLY.
An unprecedented storm cloud has grown
to cover most of North America.
Authorities in several states
are ordering evacuations,
reporting severe weather conditions.
Don't slip. Watch your step.
Wait, wait. Hold it.
"Woe to all depraved souls."
Well, I guess
there ain't no turning back now.
- Yep. Looks like we're stuck in here.
- Yeah.
Hey, Perce, who's that creepy guy
with the hoodie?
I don't know. Let's find out.
Who are you?
- We need to see Hades.
- The living are not permitted here.
Die and come back.
Okay, we won't die and come back, but...
You know what?
I think I know what he wants.
- What?
- You got to pay the ferryman.
Watch this.
Yo, my friend! What up?
Okay, guess not.
Look, you like dead people, right?
I got a few dead people
you might recognize.
Check this out. Jackson, Grant.
And look who's joining the party.
Benjamin Franklin.
Yeah, you like that, don't you?
Look, you give us a boat ride,
you take the money
and you get an interior decorator,
'cause it is too depressing in here.
All right? Here you go.
That was $170!
Wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
The drachma. The drachma!
Climb aboard.
Thanks for telling me, man, you're
burning money. We're in a recession.
- That's treason.
- Just shut up. Shut up, man. Go on.
Welcome to the Underworld.
What is all this?
The scrapheap of human misery.
Lost hopes and dreams.
Wishes that never came true.
All lives end in suffering and tragedy.
This is as far as I go.
Guys, do you hear that?
- Yeah, what is that?
- I don't know.
- Annie, s*ab that thing!
- What are we gonna do?
Back!
- What were those things?
- Hellhounds.
Yeah, well, maybe you should feed them.
They sensed the presence of another animal.
- Great, they smell goat.
- A Satyr.
I haven't had a Satyr
- visit before.
- Persephone!
What could possibly be taking so long?
Don't ignore me!
Or what? What will you do?
I'm already in Hell.
We have visitors.
Nephew.
Welcome.
You have your father's looks.
Always the lucky side of the family.
Wait. Wait a minute, wait a minute.
- You're Hades?
- Yes.
Sorry. I just didn't expect you
to look like this, man.
Kind of stylish. I like it.
Would you prefer that I looked like this?
No! No! Look, stick to
the Mick Jagger thing! It works for you!
You're very brave coming here.
Come closer.
Hey. Perce.
I can see the look of disgust in your eyes,
but this existence was not of my choosing.
I was banished here
by Zeus and your father. I am damned.
My only chance of getting out of this place
is to defeat my brothers and take
control of Olympus. But, of course,
I'll need the bolt.
- And I need my mother.
- Then we have an understanding.
You give me the bolt
and I'll give you your mother.
I need to tell you the truth.
I'm not the lightning thief.
I don't have the bolt.
I never did.
Why did you come here, then?
Well, I was hoping
that when you saw that I wasn't the thief,
you'd let my mother go.
Yes. Yes, but do you think I'm an idiot?
I'm Hades!
Now, give me the bolt,
or say goodbye to your mother!
Percy!
I thought I'd lost you forever.
No.
Zeus' master bolt.
Liar.
I swear, I don't know how that got there.
- That's not even my shield!
- No!
Luke rigged it!
He put the bolt in his shield and used us.
Luke stole the lightning bolt.
I think we're done here.
Feed them to the souls.
We had a deal, all right?
You have the bolt! Just let us go!
Summon the hounds.
- Ella tho!
- No. No Ella tho.
Lassie, sit! Sit!
No! No!
I am going to be king of the gods.
Stay back! Stay!
Stay!
All right, come on.
Go on, give it back.
Bad dog!
He won't remember a thing!
Why did you do that?
Because he's cruel and abusive!
The only thing I look forward to
is my allotted time
away from this hellhole.
A w*r of the gods would put an end to that.
And I'd be alone, with only him,
forever.
Go. Take the bolt, and your mother.
Only three?
Oh, no.
There are four of you.
Each pearl transports only a single person.
One of you will have to stay.
- All right, I'll stay. You three go.
- What? No.
No, no, no. I've achieved
- my quest. I'm staying here.
- No. No!
I've trained for situations like this.
Guys! Guys. Knock it off.
- I'm staying, because I'm the protector.
- Grover, come on.
Look, man, I don't want to hear it. Just go.
It's my duty.
It's what I'm meant for.
We'll come back for you.
I'll take very good care of him.
All right. Now move it, guys!
Each of you, step on a pearl
and concentrate on where you want to go.
Take this.
To Olympus.
Hey. Look.
Zeus and Poseidon preparing for battle.
No, no. This isn't the right place.
This isn't Olympus. This is...
This is the Empire State Building!
Percy! The entrance to Olympus is there!
Well, there's 10 minutes till midnight.
Let's move.
Percy Jackson!
Well, you weren't supposed
to make it out alive.
I can't let you take that bolt to Olympus.
I'm the lightning thief.
You hid the bolt in my shield. Why?
Well, when you said you were
going to the Underworld, it hit me.
"That is the perfect opportunity
to get the bolt to Hades."
Why would you do that?
To bring Olympus crumbling down.
Percy, let's go.
Let's go!
Well, it's too late, 'cause I'm
returning the bolt to Zeus right now.
Not before midnight.
- You all right?
- Yeah.
Luke! Why do you want a w*r of the gods?
Control.
They've been in power for too long.
I say it's time
for our generation to take over.
Remold the world in our image.
- A world of new heroes.
- You're no hero.
- Mom, are you all right?
- Yeah.
Stay here.
Luke!
Maybe they were wrong.
Maybe you're no son of Poseidon.
Yeah. I think I am the son of Poseidon.
He's got the bolt! Come on!
Let's move! We've got two minutes!
Olympus.
Percy, I can't get through.
You've got to go!
Silence!
- It is almost midnight.
- This was predestined!
- You wanted this battle!
- You have only yourself to blame!
Please! Let's be rational.
w*r is not the answer!
Time has run out.
Wait!
Wait! Wait!
My name is Percy Jackson,
and I think you might be looking for this.
Give me the bolt, lightning thief.
You're wise to betray your father.
I didn't steal it.
And I have no connection to Poseidon.
But tell me, if you didn't steal it,
then who did?
Luke, son of Hermes.
You see, he was angry at you.
All of you.
He wanted you to destroy yourselves.
You have done well.
Let there be peace.
Hi, Mom.
Annabeth, I am so proud of you.
Zeus, I have a good friend.
He's a Satyr named Grover.
He's my protector,
and the only reason
why we escaped the Underworld
is because he stayed behind.
And now you expect me to bring him back.
Very well.
I believe this assembly's business
here is finished.
Brother, please. I need to speak with him.
Just this once.
I'll meet you outside.
I'm not expecting you to forgive me.
But I want you to know that I'm grateful.
I didn't do it for you.
I did it to save Mom.
Please. We don't have much time.
How old was I when you left?
Seven months.
Look, I didn't need you there
all the time, but...
I would have liked to have seen you
just once.
Why didn't you ever come back?
I wanted to.
When I was with you and your mother,
I became less concerned
with my responsibilities.
I was becoming human.
- And that's a bad thing?
- For a god? Zeus thought so.
That's why he passed the law
preventing gods from
ever having contact with their children.
That was because of you?
But I was always watching over you.
Just because you didn't see me
doesn't mean that I wasn't there.
When you were troubled, I tried to help.
I heard you.
I know I'm not the father
you always wanted,
but if you ever need me,
I'll be there for you,
in your thoughts
and in your dreams.
I'll stand by you, Percy.
Always.
You can come visit me anytime.
Just promise me that I don't have to see
that loser Gabe ever again.
I kicked him out.
Yeah, he's gone.
He's out of our lives forever.
Finally.
- I'm going to miss you.
- Me, too.
Percy?
This is where you belong.
- Good job, man.
- Thanks, Perce.
Ready! Aim!
- Hey, whoa, Perce... Watch it!
- Hey!
You guys gonna k*ll
the man who saved the world?
Great job. All you guys, take a lunch break.
Thank you!
So, the conquering hero
returns, triumphant.
- Grover.
- Hey!
- You notice anything different about me?
- No.
You sure?
Anything that's improved about me?
No. What, you've been working out?
What, you get a new cologne?
You smell good.
- Look, man. I got my horns!
- I was seeing them the whole time.
I mean, look at that thing.
You got little horns in your head.
- Right?
- Crazy.
Zeus came through, and now
I'm Senior Protector, First Class, baby.
Congratulations. Definitely earned them.
Thank you, man.
Keep moving, keep moving!
Don't lose interest!
One foot in front of the other, and
the next thing you know, you're running!
Percy.
You left the camp.
You disobeyed my orders.
Yeah, about that.
Which is why
you're my favorite student.
You can receive all the training
in the world, but ultimately,
you have to follow your instincts.
Grace under pressure.
All right. Time to train. Go suit up.
You might be a big shot on Olympus,
but down here,
you're still just one of my students.
Move it.
Nice horns, Grover.
I'm serious, man.
We talked, we wooed, we dined,
- we had a great time!
- Well, I'm happy for you, you know?
Persephone might really like me.
I'm serious.
I think you can handle this one
on your own.
All right, Perce.
- Hey, Perce, awesome job, man.
- Hey, thanks.
- Good job.
- Thanks.
Good job.
Who's next?
I think I'd like to give it a shot.
Welcome home.
Wait!
First rule of battle strategy.
Don't ever let your opponent distract you.
Sally, open the door!
Open up!
- You changed the locks?
- Yes.
So, here's your junk.
- You can let yourself out.
- Well...
How am I supposed to move all this stuff
by myself?
Deal with it.
I need a beer.
What? "Do not open..."
That little brat.
Well, I may not live here anymore,
but I'm still the king of this castle.