04x14 - Andy and Opie's Pal

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Andy Griffith Show". Aired: October 1960 to April 1968.*
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Andy Taylor who is a widowed sheriff raises his son in Mayberry, N.C.
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04x14 - Andy and Opie's Pal

Post by bunniefuu »

( whistling sprightly tune )

Starring Andy Griffith...

with Ronny Howard.

Also starring Don Knotts.

You new around here?

Uh-huh.

Ain't you got any friends?

This here's a genuine leather regulation football.

They played with it in a state college game.

Don't you believe me?

Huh?

Oh, I suppose so.

How many blades you got on that knife?

Nine.

You want to be friends?

Okay.

My pa is sheriff around here.

No kidding?

A real sheriff?

Yep.

Want to try your grip on a regulation football?

Sure.

You want to see my knife?

Okay.

Well, I'll discuss it with Andy,

that's all I can promise.

Yeah.

All right. Bye.

Andy?

Another call from Gomer?

Yep. He's just come from Pearson's Sweet Shop

and he's riled up all over again.

Now, Andy, there just might be something

to his complaint.

But all the years Pearson's run that store,

he's been the soul of honesty.

Well, people do change.

Now, this just could be something

for the bunco squad to handle

if there's swindling going on.

Swindling's a mighty serious charge.

Well, look at the facts.

Thursday, Gomer bought ten lucky peppermints,

all white centers.

Today, he bought more, again all white centers...

Every blessed one.

Now Gomer ain't saying that he expects to get the green one

and win the flashlight right off.

He's not being unreasonable.

All he's saying is that out of ,

he might expect to bite into at least one pink center

for a free one.

Well, I will admit that whiteys in a row

is mighty upsettin' to a man,

but I still can't believe that Jesse Pearson

would ever run a fixed peppermint box.

I don't know, Andy.

Gomer's got some cash invested

and I think there ought to be laws

to protect him.

All right.

You call Gomer and tell him

we do have laws against swindling.

Okay.

While you're at it,

tell him we got a few laws against gamblin', too.

Oh, come on, Andy.

That's not really gambling.

I mean, it's not like bingo

or something like that.

Hi, Paw.

Paw, this is my brand-new friend, Trey Bowden.

Nice to make your acquaintance.

Gosh.

This is Barney.

Howdy.

"Trey," was it?

It's his nickname, Paw.

His real name's Frederick Bowden The Third

and since he's the third

that's why they call him Trey.

Oh.

That's the French language, Andy.

That's the way they say three over there.

You know, uno, duo, trey...

four, five and so on.

That's a nice nickname.

Your father and grandfather

are both called the same thing, huh?

Except he don't have a pa.

He's dead.

He's got a mother visiting Mrs. Edwards.

I'm showing him all around.

He don't have no friends yet. Just me.

How do you like our little town so far?

Oh, he likes it real good, Paw.

He'd rather live here

then to go back to Erie, Pennsylvania, huh, Trey?

Well, nice talking with you, Trey.

OPIE: And know what else, Paw?

We was both born in the same month

and he don't like carrots either.

And guess what, Paw?

He know all about Indians

and we're blood brothers.

Gosh, look at that.

It's not real blood.

It's only barn paint.

We didn't want to make a real scratch

'cause we was afraid it'd get infected.

That's good thinkin'.

And I 'spect you boys can stick together

even better on good old barn paint.

Well, now if you'll excuse me, I've got some work to do.

But I wanted to ask you, Paw.

Can Trey come fishing with us on Saturday?

And can he stay at our house tonight?

Well, it's all right with me.

But you'll have to find out

if it's all right with his mother and Aunt Bee.

Gee, thanks, Paw.

Thanks, Sheriff Taylor.

ANDY: Now remember

you got to ask Trey's mother and Aunt Bee if it's all right.

We already did, Paw.

They said we had to ask you.

Well, that's what I call two real buddies.

I like to see that.

Yeah.

You know, it's the friendships you start early in life...

Them are the ones that really last.

Mm.

Take you and me now.

How long have we been hanging together?

Since the fourth grade.

Four-A.

Yeah. Miss Moran.

Oh, Miss Moran... Bless her heart.

Time's jumping right along, Barn.

Yeah.

Well, that's what makes friendship so good...

The test of time.

I couldn't wish them two boys anything better

then that they should become as close of friends

as you and me.

Just like that, right?

Right.

Mind you, I'm not saying

we haven't had our little set-tos.

Not for one minute am I saying that.

We wouldn't be human if we didn't.

No.

The main thing is that we can laugh off

any tiny little tiffs that pop up now and then.

Just laugh them right off and dismiss them.

Yeah. Because...?

Right. Right.

You want to get the highway folder?

Yeah.

Like when that pretty girl visited Mayberry

as Queen of the State Apricot Festival.

I thought I was going to be her escort

and instead, you met her at the city line

and you took her around.

Remember that?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I nearly forgot that little mix-up.

Well, that's all it was... A little mix-up.

With two other fellas, a little mix-up like that,

especially where there's a pretty girl involved,

it would have blown the friendship sky high.

Blooey.

Not you and me.

Rock solid.

Rock solid.

Yeah, I nearly forgot all about that.

Oh, well, I did, too.

I did, too.

I forgot it the minute it happened.

Anyway, it was years ago.

June , , on a Saturday afternoon.

Not that I'd let a picky little thing like that come between us.

We're too good of friends for that.

I agree.

Yeah.

Ah, that's all forgotten.

Thing of the past.

Wiped right out of my mind.

Not worthy of another word.

No.

That's the best way.

You know, she was a kind of a purty girl.

I enjoyed squiring her around.

Patterson's... $ . .

Huh?

$ . ... That's what I paid at Patterson's

for a brand-new shirt to meet her

while you were off squiring her around.

I stood out on that corner

under a blazing sun for two hours waiting

while you two were off gallivantin' around.

Furniture factory, beaver dam, a snack at the diner.

And don't try to sit there and tell me

you didn't take her to the diner

'cause Juanita told me all about that.

Sure, you can laugh it off

while I'm out there waiting two hours.

Shoes all shined, clothes all pressed,

looking like a dang fool!

Why should you take the Apricot Queen around?

Who eats all the apricots around here anyway?

I do, that's who!

Let's face it, Andy that was pretty dog-gone unfair of you.

I better get out there.

What's the matter?

Well, if them two young'uns

are as good of friends as we are,

there must be a whale of a fight to break up.

We're not fighting exactly.

We're just...

we're just discussing this.

We're talking about it.

Oh, oh, you mean, uh... Yeah, sure.

Good. I'm glad to hear it.

I'll-I'll take patrol.

You're going to come to our place

for supper tonight?

Yeah. Yeah, I'll be there.

Okay.

Didn't waste any time finishing their supper, did they?

One roll left.

Would you like it, Barney?

Okay, but I hate to be the old maid.

( chuckling )

( banging )

They sound like they're doing parachute jumps

off the bedposts.

It's just natural excitement.

I used to do the same thing as a boy

sleeping over at somebody else's house.

The last thing we'd want to do is sleep.

Remember, Ange? We was no older than them two

when we used to stay over at each other's place.

Yeah, yeah.

Just carry on and talk and talk and giggle.

Didn't get much sleep, did you?

Not much.

But the next day was Sunday

and Barney'd make up for it in Sunday school.

( laughing )

( loud crashing )

Mercy.

One thing... they're not talking or eating or giggling.

They're about to come through the ceiling.

I got you! You did not!

I got you! You did not!

I did, too!

Someone's coming.

You asleep, Ope?

Uh-huh.

All that to protect you against mosquitoes?

All right, come on, let's get the stuff out of the bed.

Come on.

You too, Trey.

Pa...

Trey says he's never been fishing before,

so can he and I take turns with my fishing pole?

All right. Better still, I'll let him

have one of my poles, then you can both have one.

TREY: Gee, thanks, Sheriff.

You're going to let him use your pole, Paw?

The big one?

Sure.

But you all got to get some sleep.

I know... One of you come in my room.

Okay, Paw.

No, wait a minute.

You go, Trey.

You stay in your own bed.

Trey gonna sleep in your bed, Paw?

Don't worry about it.

You'll see him first thing in the morning.

I'll bring him in as soon as he dozes off.

Now go to sleep.

Come on.

Night, Ope.

Night, Ope.

Night, Paw.

Think a little glass of milk

might help you get to sleep?

That would be swell.

You pop into bed now.

Might be a sliver of pie for you, too.

Boy!

I'll bring it right up to you, son.

Morning, Sheriff.

Morning, Trey. Did you sleep all right?

Sure did.

Sit down there.

( car horn honking )

Morning, Barn.

Where's Opie?

Don't tell me he's still in bed?

He is.

Hi, Trey.

Hi, Barney.

Hi, Andy.

Had your breakfast?

Yeah. Sure did.

Want to know what I had?

Mm, well...

Orange juice, cereal, three eggs, basted,

sausages, whole wheat toast,

cottage fried potatoes and coffee.

You didn't.

Yeah. Orange juice, cereal, three eggs...

I know. How can you eat all that?

Well, I burn it up so fast.

You know, I'm like a kid... Just active all the time.

Go, go, go. Move, move, move.

Just burn it right up.

I see.

You interested in the old Roscoe, huh?

Huh?

"Roscoe."

"Revolver"... that's what the civilians call it.

We refer to it as a "Roscoe" or a "heater" or a...

"old persuader"... or a "rod" or...

What's another name for it, Andy?

"Revolver."

Well, yeah.

The important thing with any firearm is safety.

Treat every g*n as if it was loaded

and you never, never, never point a g*n

at anything if you don't intend to sh**t.

And when you're drawing a g*n...

Removing a g*n from the holster...

You do it smoothly... and safely

and when you return it to the holster,

you repeat the process smoothly and safely.

Out smoothly and safely...

back smoothly and safely.

You don't just jerk it out.

That's dangerous.

Smoothly and safely.

Wait in the car.

See, Trey, like Barney was saying,

the main thing about any firearm is safety.

Now... the chamber's empty.

But we still got to treat it as if it were loaded.

Can I hold it just once?

Well, all right, I guess so.

Now hold it with both hands, both hands.

Aim it up, up.

Now look right down there.

Right down there. That's right.

ANDY: Aim at that limb up there.

( imitates g*nsh*t )

Shot it right in two.

( chuckles )

Well, I got to go to work.

I'll see you, cowboy.

Bye, Sheriff. See you later.

I emptied all the trash, Paw.

Good. Trey get home all right?

Mm-hmm.

He sure is a nice boy.

I cleaned out my closet and put your hammer back

on your workbench this morning, Paw.

That's fine.

Sure is a pleasure doin' things for a boy

that appreciates it like Trey.

Yeah. Paw, you suppose this Saturday,

you and Barney and I could go fishin'?

You know, just us?

We don't want to forget about Trey.

Yeah.

Never been fishing before, huh?

He'll probably catch more than all of us.

I'm back, Ange.

Okay.

( clears throat )

( Andy humming )

BARNEY: I put ten gallons of gas in her.

ANDY: Good.

High test.

Fine.

Gomer says "hey."

"Hey" to Gomer.

Yeah.

You might take a look

at that traffic folder while you're here.

Okay.

Couple new police posters come in this morning.

I ain't had a chance to sort them.

Will do.

Hi, Trey.

Oh, hi, Ope.

Your pa in there?

Yeah, but he's awful busy today.

He was gonna show me how to tie a fishing fly.

Well, this ain't the day for it.

I never saw him so busy.

Must be a crime wave or something.

Well, then what do we do?

Well, I got to go to football practice.

Football?!

Yeah. It's a private practice.

We're making up secret signals

and it's only for the guys on the team.

Oh.

Well, see you.

Yeah. See you.

Oh, hi, Trey.

Hi, Sheriff Taylor.

Hey, how'd you like to come on patrol with me?

Down to see if the lake cottages are all boarded up.

Gosh! A patrol?

Yeah!

Where's Opie?

He had to go to football practice.


Well, I guess it's just me and you, then, huh?

Come on.

Paw?

Hi, Ope.

Where's Paw?

He's about to leave on the lake patrol.

The lake patrol?

( car accelerating )

He's leaving without me.

That's your buddy Trey with him, ain't it?

Yeah.

He's a nice boy.

Your pa sure likes him.

It's almost like he's got himself two boys

instead of just the one.

( chuckles )

Okay, what is it when I give the signal

, , , , , hut?

I forget. What is it?

That's our big play!

Everybody out for a pass. Boy.

Hey, look, here comes Trey, maybe we can use him.

Nah, we don't want him.

He don't know the signals or nothing.

Hi, guys. Hi, Trey.

We're having football practice.

It's secret.

Oh. Well, then I guess

I'll go home and fly my model plane.

You're gonna fly it?

Sure am. It's got a real gasoline motor.

No kiddin'?

Okay, fly your plane.

We got to get back to our practice.

Okay. Who's stopping you?

Well, why don't you go?

I ain't in a hurry.

But we are.

Who are you shoving?!

( boys shouting )

BARNEY: Hey, what's going on there?

Opie!

Opie!

Was that you and Trey Bowden scufflin'?

Well, how about that?

You and Trey, huh?

( sighs )

I'll, uh, I'll bet you're worrying

that I'm gonna tell your pa you been fighting

and then he won't let you play

with Trey no more, right?

Huh? Are you?

( chuckles )

Well, you just stop worrying

'cause old Barn understands

that even the best of friends

have a little tiff every now and then.

I'll tell you what...

Don't let this happen again, and I won't tell.

'Cause if your pa found out you two had been fighting,

that'd be the end of you and Trey. Okay?

Okay.

All right. You run along now.

Don't you worry.

Trey and Opie were scrappin' huh?

Yeah, but they hardly touched each other.

Didn't mean a thing.

I guess not.

Don't let on you know now.

Oh, hi, Paw.

What in the world happened to you?

I was in a fight with Trey.

Oh?

Guess I can't play with Trey anymore, huh?

I guess not.

You have been marked.

Careful, Paw.

Looks like the kind of hurt

that heals fast.

Yeah, but I'd better keep the bandages on

for a couple of days.

Yeah, I would.

Well, guess Trey can't come fishin'

with us tomorrow then, huh?

No, I expect not.

Oh, well, he's always horning in anyway.

From now on, it'll be just you and me, Paw.

You figure that's the way it ought to be?

Mm-hmm.

Then that's the way it will be.

Just you and me will go fishing tomorrow, okay?

Okay.

Good. Barney was coming,

but just me and you will go off together.

Yeah, but... It's okay with Barney.

He's been along enough other times.

Look, if you're trying to say

you don't want me coming along tomorrow

just say so.

Don't beat around the bush.

Okay, I guess that's what I want to say.

Opie and me want to go off by ourselves tomorrow.

Well, go off by yourselves!

I never wanted to come in the first place.

You want to be alone, be alone!

Boy, you got Barney sore, Paw.

He'll get over it.

Why didn't you want him to come?

Oh, he's always horning in.

Let's just...

let's just keep it you and me, okay?

But you promised him we'd all go together.

So what? You promised Trey the same thing.

But Barney's your friend.

Trey was your friend.

Yeah, but... well...

he sure looked hurt, Paw.

I reckon Trey was hurt, too,

when you pushed him off the way you did.

Reckon Trey's off somewhere feeling bad same as Barney?

Barney...

you come fishin' with us tomorrow, okay?

Come out here a minute, Barney.

I want to tell you something.

Barney?

Uh, Barney, I want to apologize to you.

I'm sorry for what I just did,

but I had to do it for Opie's sake.

The whole thing was just a pretend job.

See, I had to show that young'un

that you don't drop your friends just like that.

Seemed like the only way I could get it across to him

was to give him an example.

I'm, I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Well, now that you understand,

you ain't still sore?

No.

Good.

I got to say you looked hurt.

But Opie sure got the point.

You don't mind being used like that

when you're making a point for a young'un?

No, not at all.

Good.

( inhales sharply )

Of course if you and Opie really do want

to go off by yourselves,

it's perfectly all right with me.

No, no, you see...

I can understand a thing like that.

If you two want to be alone,

I think you ought to be alone.

No. See, that...

We've always done these Saturday fishing trips together,

but if you want to change all that now

and just the two of you go off, I think you ought to do it.

No, you're miss...

If you want to drop me from the group,

then go ahead and do it.

It's no skin off my nose.

Barney, what I'm trying to...

I know what you're trying to tell me.

You're trying to tell me

that you and Opie want to go alone.

Then you just go alone and see if I care!

Psst, Paw... Oh, hi, Ope.

My face is all right.

( chuckles )

It does appear so.

Paw, Trey and me, we're friends again.

Good, I'm glad to hear it.

You think Barney will make up, too?

Oh, sure he will.

We can all go fishing tomorrow.

Trey can use your pole and wear Barney's hat.

Good. We'll call Trey

first thing in the morning.

We don't have to.

What do you mean?

Well, come here.

I gave it to him to keep.

He told me this is the first time he ever had

a genuine, full-sized regulation football.

He's got something even better than that, son.

Now he's got a genuine

full-sized, regulation friend to match.

In fact, we all have.

I tell you, I'm sure glad to see you boys all made up

and friends again.

Me, too, Paw.

And boys, let me just give you a word of advice

on how you can stay friends from now on.

How's that, Barney?

Get things out in the open.

You got something on your mind

bothering you about the other fella, speak up.

Get it out in the open.

Otherwise, it'll just fester and poison your whole system.

So get it out in the open and talk it out.

Okay, Barney.

We'll wait out in the car for you, Paw.

Okay.

Come on, Trey.

That was real good sound advice you give them boys, Barn,

about getting it out in the open.

Sure, otherwise it'll just fester and poison your system.

It was real good advice.

There's nothing on your mind bothering you about me

that you want to get out in the open, is there?

About you? Of course not.

Good.

If there was, I would have talked about it.

( laughing )

What could be on my mind about you that's bothering me?

Oh, I don't know.

I just wondered if maybe there was something

about the Apricot Queen.

Well, I'll tell you something about that, Andy.

It wasn't fair.

I mean, you just went off and left me hanging there,

high and dry and it wasn't fair.

And I'd never do a thing like that.

Do you think I'd...
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