07x05 - Aunt Bee's Crowning Glory

[bunniefuu]

How about this,
Clara, hmm?

Oh, good, I can use that
for the potato salad

and then I can use
my wedgwood plate

for the hors d'oeuvres.

Tell me, bee,
have you heard anything

about the new
reverend yet?

No, not a word.

Well, the one thing
I did hear was

that he was a bachelor.

Really?

Yes, a confirmed
bachelor.

But they
so often change.

I suppose so.

Oh! I've got to run on home
and shorten some skirts.

I haven't even thought
about my clothes.

Well, for the reception
at my house,

I'm planning to wear
my Navy-blue suit

with my print blouse
and my black pumps.

Oh, that sounds lovely.

And then
for the church social,

just the Navy-blue skirt
and, instead of

the print blouse,
I'm going to wear

the Navy blouse
from my silk outfit.

Oh?!

And then
for Maggie's affair,

I'm planning to wear
my print skirt,

my print blouse,
and my Navy-blue jacket.

Well, it certainly sounds
like you'll be

the best-dressed
woman there.

Oh, hi, Clara.

Boy, did we catch fish!

What are you doing
home so early?

What time is it?

It must be : .

: ? Good heavens!

I have to get ready for
my beauty appointment.

I'll call you, Clara.

Well, I must be
running along.

Do you have to go
to the beauty shop, too?

I was there this morning.

Oh.

You look real nice.

Thank you.

Goodbye, Andy.

Uh... Clara.

Well, you handled that fine.

Thanks.

Ah, you did just
a wonderful job, bernice.

It's lovely. It's
just lovely, bernice.

And with her type of hair,
it'll stay that way.

I know, and i'm
just the opposite.

No matter what I do

two days after I've
had my hair done

the whole thing's
a mess again.

Oh, I envy you, Helen.

Aunt bee,
I've never seen you go out

when you didn't look
just right.

Well, we've never
had so many social
functions coming up.

My hair's going to be
one big problem.

Say, I don't know
why I didn't think
of this before.

Of course, it's
the solution to
the whole thing.

What?
A wig.

It's the answer
for your problems.

Oh, of course.
For me?

I wouldn't even think
of such a thing.

Oh, I mean it, bee.

Oh, no, at my age?
I'd feel silly.

That sort of thing's
for glamour girls.

Oh, nonsense.

I've got a wig
that would be
perfect for you.

No, thank you, bernice.

I'm not the least bit
interested.

Okay, but you could wear it

to the function for
the new reverend.

I've got to run.
See you later. Thank you.

See you next week.

Goodbye, Helen.

That Helen is
the sweetest girl.

I suppose they're
very uncomfortable, hmm?

Huh?
Wigs.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Not at all. No problem.

If you like, I could
go get the one...

Bernice, please,
I've told you

I'm not interested.

I wouldn't consider
wearing one.

Okay.

Boy, I'll sure be glad
when this day's over.

I haven't even had
a minute to sit down.

One customer after another.

Boy, I could sure
use another girl
around here.

Are they easy to comb?

What? Oh... oh, yes.

Well, they keep their set.

You hardly ever
have to touch them.

Let me go get it for you.

Bernice, why do you keep
bringing up the subject?

I've told you repeatedly
I do not want a wig.

Now, it's ridiculous.

Let's drop the subject, hmm?

Okay.

I suppose they come
in all colors, hmm?

Say, you know, Andy,

I'm kind of looking forward
to these next two sundays.

Yeah, a new preacher, huh?

Yeah. Get a little new
blood up in the pulpit.

Yeah. Of course,
I always thought

reverend Tucker
did a fine job.

Yeah. Except I knew

every one of his
sermons by heart.

Of course, a lot of
that's our fault.

Our fault?

Well, there are so
few sins in this town.

We never gave him
much to work with.

Well... is that bad?

I didn't say it was bad.

You missed my
point completely.

No, no, what I...
What I meant was...

You're not listening, Andy.

Oh. Go ahead, Floyd.

Okay.

Now, as I was trying
to tell you...

What were we talking about?

Reverend Tucker.

Oh, yes, fine man.

Now, Andy... you can tell me.

What have you got against him?

You heard anything
about the new reverend?

Oh, no, no, but his picture's
right here in the paper.

Yeah. He's a fine-looking man.

Yeah. Bachelor, too.

I got an idea he's going to have

a lot of these older single gals
all aflutter.

You know
what I mean?

:
Yeah, zip-a-Dee-doo-dah.

Say, Beatrice...

Oh.

:
Oh...

Oh, hello, Floyd.

Hello, Andy.

Oh, hi, aunt bee.

Did you see the picture
of the new reverend?

Yes. He's very
distinguished.

And did you know
he was a bachelor?

Oh, really?

I wasn't aware of that.

Something to think about.

Oh, Floyd...

Well, you got yourself
a new hat, huh?

Well...
Oh...

Ooh, you're going to
get all prettied up

like the rest of
the women in town.

Oh, aunt bee doesn't need
to get prettied up.

She's pretty as she is.

Well, I have
more important things to do

than stand here gabbing
with you two. Goodbye.

Bye.

When are you
getting home

from miss Edwards's
reception tonight, paw?

If your aunt bee
doesn't hurry up,

we may not get there at all.

Aunt bee, you coming?

I'll be
right there.

I don't know
what takes her so long.

Oh, come here--
your tie.

All you men
have to do

is shower and shave
and get dressed.

We women have to do
our hair, our nails...

Hi.

Aunt bee!

You did it!

You dyed your hair.

Like a movie actress.

No, Andy,
I didn't dye my hair.

I simply...

You've been living here
six years

and I've seen you
every day of it

and I know
the color of your hair

and that ain't it.

Andy, if you'd
just listen...

It's fixed different, too.

Of course it is.
Andy...

Even a ten-year-old boy
can tell that.

Twelve.

Hush.

Andy, aunt bee
is wearing a wig.

A what?

A wig?

I think it looks
just beautiful.

You're wearing a wig?

Oh, well, Andy, I'm only
wearing it for convenience.

That's not your hair?

No, Opie, it's...
Somebody else's.

Of cours it's somebody else's

and you just go upstairs
and take that off

and give it back to 'em.

Your own hair's fine.
We'll just fluff that up and go.

Andy, there's
nothing the matter

with aunt bee
wearing a wig.

I think it looks
very attractive.

Oh, Andy,
I'm only wearing it

because my hair's
such a problem.

No, no, no, no.

I don't want people staring
at you.

Well, what's
wrong with that?

I'm beginning to like it.

You got something to do?

Oh, Andy,
lots of women wear wigs.

I don't care
what other women do.

I don't want people
staring at us

so just go upstairs
and take that off.

You leave it on.

It looks just perfect.

Come on, aunt bee.
Let's go.

Well...

Uh...

Have a good time, paw.

Yes, yes, yes.

As a matter of
fact, I'd say

that taking an interest
in community affairs

is one of the
first requirements
of good citizenship.

Oh, how true.

A very interesting
thought.

How many times I've said
just that same thing to myself.

We must have a great deal
in common, reverend.

Have another?

Oh... let me see...

Excellent.

That's one
of the ones
I made.

Flo, you outdid yourself.

Try one with the pickles,
reverend.

I made those.

It'll be my
very next choice.

Oh, pardon me.

I'll be right back.

Uh, Clara... good food.

No complaints.

Thank you.

Oh, come right in.

So nice to see
you, Helen, Andy

bee...

You're wearing a...

Clara, you look
just lovely.

Thank you.

Looks like a nice
gathering, Clara.

Yes, it look...
It looks nice.

Well, I think you
know everyone here.

:
Yes, hi...

Hi.
Good evening.

Good evening.

Reverend Leighton

I'd like for you to
meet miss bee Taylor

miss Helen crump...

And our sheriff,
Andrew Taylor.

Reverend.
It's a pleasure.

Welcome to Mayberry,
reverend.

We hope you enjoy
your stay.

Oh, thank you.

Sheriff, huh?

Yes.

I knew you were important

the way everybody stared
at your little group.

Oh... well, I guess...

I guess that...
That's the way
it goes.

Let me take
your wrap, please.

Oh, thank you, Clara.

Excuse me.

I don't think
it does a thing for her.

Looks ridiculous.

Clara...

My hankie.

Bee, it looks lovely.

Simply beautiful.

Thank you.

Well...

Well, reverend,
have you been able

to form any impression
of Mayberry yet?

Yes. I think
it's completely charming.

And I must say,
I've never been in any town

where the women
are more fashionable.

I've done a lot of reading
on those things.

A lot of that hair
they use in wigs

comes from China.

Oh, really?

Yes.

They've got good hair
over there.

I wonder if bee's
is Chinese hair.

Well, I don't know.

Hey, bee!

Yes, Floyd?

Uh, nothing, nothing.

:
Looks real pretty.

Uh, some Chinese lady
lost a nice head of hair.

Oh, reverend, I'm afraid
you're being neglected.

Won't you try one
of my chopped egg canapes?

No, no, no,
I'm fine.

Oh, I see.

The reverend was discussing
his sunday sermon.

Oh. You got any
ideas yet, reverend?

A few, a few.

Offhand, it seems like
it ought to embrace

my first impression of
Mayberry and its people.

Everybody's
so pleasant,
so natural.

No pretense.

Yes, I think that would be
an excellent idea.

Quite to the point.

Well, you-you must have
a lot of other sermons.

Well, yes, you must.

Oh, no, no.

No, I think that'd be
very interesting.

Yes, I think I'll
really be able to get
something out of that.

"Be yourself," perhaps.

Yes. "Be yourself."

I'm sure that'll
make a good sermon.

* sowing in the morning,
sowing seeds of kindness *

* sowing in the noontide
and the dewy Eve *

* waiting for the harvest
and the time of reaping *

* we shall come rejoicing,
bringing in the sheaves *

* bringing in the sheaves,
bringing in the sheaves *

* we shall come rejoicing,
bringing in the sheaves *

* bringing in the sheaves,
bringing in the sheaves *

* we shall come rejoicing,
bringing in the sheaves. *

I've known your reverend Tucker
for a long time.

A wonderful person.

I've turned to him
for counsel and guidance

on many occasions.

I've often wondered which
of his many qualities

I admired the most

and I believe it came to me
when I met so many of you

honest, sincere
and unpretentious people.

Reverend Tucker,
above all

knows how to be himself.

What a virtue that is--

being oneself.

I believe we actually owe it
to each other

to be what we really are.

No deception

no pretense
of any kind.

Floyd, quit.

I'm happy to say
that in Mayberry

I've found many
of these characteristics

and it's for that reason
I'm looking forward to knowing

each and every one
of you personally.

Let us continue
throughout our lives

to always be ourselves.

Floyd, will you move?

I have to study this.

Well, you've been
studying it.

You see?

You rushed me.

Aw, Floyd.

Didn't he rush me?
I don't know.

The two of you stick together,
don't you?

It's the reverend
and aunt bee.

Well, come away
from the window.

Don't be staring
at them.

Something's cooking
there, huh?

Oh, hush, Floyd.

Fast worker for a reverend.

He's coming over
for supper tonight, isn't he?

Oh.

Well, it's our turn, Floyd.

Everybody in
the congregation's

having him over.

Play, play,
play, play.

Hello.

Well, hi, bee.

I didn't hear you drive up
with the reverend.

Well, Clara and I were
showing him around town

and he just dropped me off.

Oh, Floyd, would you please
stop looking at my hair.

I'm just curious, bee.

I was telling somebody
the other night

that a lot of that stuff
comes from China.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Get a lot of good things
from China-- hair, noodles.

Oh. Opie, come on.

I have something
for you to do.

Floyd, will you please stop
talking about aunt bee's wig.

It embarrasses her.

I won't say anything
to the reverend.

Don't you worry about that.

But she's on dangerous ground.

You know that.

What?

Remember fluffy Johnson?

From the gas company?

Well, she had her eye
on Orville portnoy.

Who?

Night man at the bakery.

Oh, yeah.

Well, she tried wearing
those false fingernails.

You know that long look?

One day she started shaking
her finger at him

and the nail fell off.

Oh, that was a real shocker
for Orville.

Led to a fight,
and fluffy started crying

and she put her handkerchief
up to her eyes

and her eyelashes
came off, too.

All I'm trying to say is

aunt bee's got a little problem
wearing that wig

when she goes out
with the reverend.

You know, a fella likes to know
what he's buying.

"Buying"?

I mean, if this thing
should get serious

sooner or later
he's going to find out about it.

Well, yeah.

I just don't want you to have

another fluffy on your hands.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Play.

What are you planning
on greeting

the reverend in tonight,
your persian scarf, there?

Oh, of course not --
I only took the wig off

while I'm working
around the kitchen.

I'll have time to get it on
before he gets here.

I don't know why
you don't save yourself

a lot of grief
and just forget that thing.

After that sermon
this morning,

"be natural,
be yourself"?

Well, like Floyd says,
he's going to

find out about it,
sooner or later.

You don't want to be
another fluffy, do you?

No.

Family's lived in this county
for three generations --

first time we didn't use
our own hair.

Oh!

I'll get it.

Oh, that's probably Helen.

Andy, I'll only wear it
while the reverend's here.

He'll be gone
in two weeks.

And I promise I'll
never wear it again.

I hope so.

It's reverend Leighton.

What?

He said he couldn't remember
whether it was : or :

so, to be safe,
he came early.

Well, go entertain him
till we get there.

What'll I do?

Just entertain him.

Go on.

Andy, Andy, will you
go up and get my wig?

Aunt bee.

Please do as I ask.

And don't take it off the foam.

It'll get all mussed up.

Well, how...?

Don't you let him see
what you're carrying.

Put it in something.

Anything.

Pick a card, any card.

Hi.

Hello, sheriff.

I have to go upstairs.

All right.

I'll just see you.

Two of clubs.

Hi.

You going bowling now, paw?

Ah... no.

There's a, a fella
wants to, uh, borrow

my, my bowling, uh,
ball, you know

and he said he'd come
to the back door.

Paw, nobody ever comes
to the back door.

You don't know this fella.

See you.

Psst, psst.

I need a mirror --
a big mirror.

Where am I...?

Please.

Well, uh...

Shh.

No. The ten of diamonds.

I shuffled them wrong.

Hi.

Hi.

I believe I'll
clean the mirror.

Oh?
Sunday.

Aunt bee cleaned it
yesterday, paw.

You can't have a mirror
too clean

right, rev... verend?

I guess not.

I'll see you.

Oh, here.

Now, put that thing on
and let's get out there.

Would you like
some more?

I'm just fine.

Miss Taylor, that
was a superb meal.

Well, I'm glad
you enjoyed it.

Aunt bee's the best
cook in Mayberry.

Oh, now, Helen.

Well, uh, reverend,
if you'll excuse us.

Opie has homework to do

and Andy and I have
an appointment with the dishes.

You heard the teacher.

Goodnight,
everybody.

Goodnight, Opie.

Oh, I should help.

Oh, heavens,
you did all the cooking.

Excuse us.

Won't you sit down,
reverend?

Oh, thank you.

Excuse me.

Certainly.

You know, I really
enjoyed today.

I did, too.

Miss Taylor, I haven't
told anybody else this

but I've been
offered a parish

just over in mt. Pilot.

Oh.

You know, I might
just take that parish.

You might?

Yes.

Then I can drop back
to Mayberry now and then

and visit some
of you charming people.

Hmm, well, that would be
very nice.

You know, most times
when I'm invited to a meal

at somebody's house,
it's a husband and wife and me.

It's so much nicer when there's
a single lady present.

Well...

I don't mean to be presumptuous,
but...

Well, I'd enjoy very much
coming back to the Taylor home.

Oh, well, you can't.

I beg your pardon?

No, no. I'm not myself.

No. I didn't mean
to keep any secrets.

It's just that some women

have more trouble
with their hair

and I happen to be
one of them.

What is it?

I'm trying to explain.

I didn't think
it was important

until you gave that sermon

and then I was afraid
that if you found out...

Miss Taylor, tell me.

I wear a wig.

Oh.

I didn't mean
to deceive anybody.

Oh, if you were a woman,
you'd understand.

Miss Taylor,
if you wear a wig,

I'm sure you have
a good reason.

Yes. There are all these
social events coming up.

The dinners
and the receptions.

I didn't know what to...

You don't have to explain.

No?

You're not disappointed?

No, no, I'm not disappointed
at all.

I have a nice head of hair.

I'm sure you do.

I'm so relieved.

Well, fresh pot of coffee
in case anybody wants any.

Ah, that sounds
just about perfect.

You should have
heard Andy

when he first saw me
in this.

You told him
about...?

That's right

and I'm glad
it's all over.

Oh, I am, too.

Reverend, I can't tell you
what we've been through

trying to keep you
from finding out

aunt bee
is wearing a wig.

I never wanted her
to put that thing on.

Now that it's
all out in the open

I guess you won't have
any more trouble

with designing females.

Yoo-hoo.

Oh, come in, Clara.

Uh, reverend, I just
happened to be passing by

and I wonder if you'd
care to drop over

and we can select the hymns
for next sunday's service.

I have some
wonderful ideas.

* on Jordan's
stormy banks I stand *

* and cast
a wishful eye *

* o the transporting,
rapturous scene *

* that rises
to my sight *

* sweet fields arrayed
in living green *

* and rivers
of delight. *

very nice, Andy.

That was one of
reverend Leighton's

favorite hymns.

Have you heard
from him, aunt bee?

Yes, I had a card
from him last week.

It's too bad he decided
to stay up in Raleigh.

You mean, he's not
going to take

the parish
at mt. Pilot?

No, his parishioners insisted
he remain in Raleigh.

I didn't have to tell him
about the wig, after all.