05x13 - Andy and Helen Have Their Day

[bunniefuu]

Starring Andy Griffith...

With Ronny Howard...

Also starring Don knotts.

Morning.

Morning.

Ah, oh, boy.

Oh, you look tired this morning.

Well, I was out a little
bit late last night.

What did you do?
Have a date?

Yeah.

What time did you go to bed?

Oh, I don't know.

I don't think my head
hit the pillow

before a quarter to : .

Mmm.

I don't know how you keep up
a pace like that.

Where'd you go

well, we started out
at morelli's.

Yeah.
Then what?

Well, we went over to her house
and watched a little "TV."

Oh.

Lights off, huh?

Yeah. It's kind of hard
on your eyes

to watch TV with the lights on.

Yeah, boy, you and Thelma Lou

stayin' right at it, ain't you?

Well, it, uh...

It wasn't Thelma Lou.

It was juanita, actually.

From the diner?

Yeah. You don't need
to mention that to anybody.

Well, I won't tell it around

but you ought not
to be takin' her to morelli's.

Everybody goes out there.

Yeah, I suppose.

Did you have a date
with Helen last night?

No.

You got one with her tonight?

Mm-hmm.

Where are you going?

Mmm, I don't know.

The movies.

Mmm. Thought so.

What's the matter with that?
We like to go to the movies.

Oh, I don't know.

It's just that you
and Helen are in such a rut.

You take her to the movies
and you buy her a soda

and you walk her home.
Good night.

Tout de suite and that's it.

I mean, you could go on
like that for years.

What do you want us to do?

Go over to morelli's

and then go to her house
and turn off the lights

and watch TV?

It beats going to the
movies, I'll tell you that.

Hi, Andy. Hello, Barney.

Hi, Helen.

Hi, Helen. Andy and I
were just talking about you.

Something nice, I hope.

Oh, the best, the best.

I understand you two are going
out on the town tonight.

Oh, well, that's why
I stopped in, Andy.

I can't make it tonight.

What?

Well, I've got all
these papers to grade.

I have to have them first
thing in the morning.

I'll probably be at it
till after midnight.

Well, couldn't you do
some tonight

and some in the morning?

I have to have them
all in the morning.

Well, listen, I have an idea.

Why don't you give me
those papers to correct?

I got nothing to do tonight.

What subject is it?

Well, Barney, it's history.

History? That's my subject!

Give me those papers.

I'll have them marked
and corrected in no time.

Well, thank you, Barney,
but I couldn't do that.

Why not? I'm glad to do it.

Well, thanks, Barney, but no.

Well, suit yourself.

History just happens
to be my subject.

I'm sorry, Andy.

Mmm, well.

Can't be helped, I guess.

You realize how little time

we've been spending
with one another?

Oh, boy. I know that.

You know, it isn't
always my fault, Andy.

You broke the last date.

You had that meeting
at the mayor's office.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You know what the trouble is?

You two are so busy
with your jobs

you don't have any
time for each other.

Well, it's true.

With both of you,
it's nothing but work, work, work.

No time at all

for the really important
things in life.

You want to work
on files or something?

I am sorry, Andy.

Yeah, well,
what about tomorrow night?

Oh, I have choir practice.

Oh, yeah. I've got
a deacons' meeting, too.

What about Thursday?

No, he can't Thursday.

Peace officers'
bowling tournament

in mt. Pilot.

Remember?

Well, he is right.

I can't get out of it.

How about Friday night?

Andy, I've got
p.T.A. Meeting.

Oh. Well, maybe
I could walk you home?

We could spend a few minutes.

Oh, that would be nice.

We have to grab a minute here
and there, don't we?

We sure do.

Well, one of these times,
I'll take you off somewhere

and we'll spend a whole day.

Hey!

Hey! You just gave me
a great idea.

You want to spend a whole
day together, right?

A whole day.
Am I right?

Okay, you got it.

You know what day?
Saturday.

I'm making you a present
of Saturday.

What?
I mean it.

You and Helen
make a picnic lunch.

Go out to Myers' lake.

Take the whole day

fish, swim, loaf.

Do whatever you want.

I'm making you a present
of the whole day.

Now, how does that sound?

Well, that's awfully nice
of you, Barn

but I can't do that.

Well, why not?

'Cause I got to work Saturday.

I got a job.

Besides, I got to drop
Opie at the movies

and take aunt bee shopping...
A bunch of stuff.

I'll do all that.
I'll do all that.

I'll take care of everything.

I couldn't make it
Saturday, either.

I've got a lot of work to do.

Well, like what?

Well, I've got to fill out
the state attendance report.

Well, do that next Saturday.

Well, I have the TV man
coming to repair the set

and I have laundry to do

and I promised to
take a load of books

over to the hospital.

Things you can't do
during the week.

I'll do all that.

Now, I'm not taking
"no" for answer.

Saturday, you, Helen, picnic.

The whole day alone together.

Birds and the bees.

Well.

Well, I won't listen
to any more excuses.

Whatever you have to do,
I'll do it.

That's it.
Finis, the end, final.

Now, what do you say?

Well, Myers' lake's
a pretty place.

Sure, nobody will
bother you over there.

It's just over in Stokes county
a few miles.

As for transportation

I'll have goober drive you
over there in the truck.

Well.

What do you think, Andy?

Why not?

Oh, Barney, you are sweet.

Thank you.

How fun.

Oh, look. I'd better get started
on these right now.

I'll see you Saturday.

Yes, early.

Early, early

Barney, thank you.

Sunup.

Yeah.

Well, thanks again.

Bye.

Oh, golly.

Barn, that's just about the
nicest thing I ever heard of.

All that work.

Well, I did something for you.

Now you do something for me.

What's that?

Make me your best man.

Is it going to be
a church wedding?

Or are you going to elope?

Or what are you going to do?

You want to work
on the files, or something?

What's the matter?
Is there something wrong?

Well, I don't know.

This just ain't the kind
of a vehicle that you'd use

to transport two people
that are romantically inclined.

You understand?

Say it again.

I mean...

Well, do you have any other kind
of a vehicle you can use

to take them
out in the woods, then?

Well, there's Wally's
personal car,

but he don't let nobody
drive that.

His daughter took it once.

You know his married
daughter, verdi?

Well, she run it without water,
and the radiator dried up,

and ever since then, he don't
let nobody drive that car.

What's the matter
with the pickup?

Well, I don't know.
It's just...

A gassy smell.

You know, it smells of gas.

If you was parked in
a filling station all day long,

you'd smell gassy, too.

Well...

Wash her up or spray her down
or something.

Right, Barn.

Know what else?

I'm gonna put a blanket
over the front seat.

Whenever I take the pickup out
for visitin' or anything else,

well, I always put a blanket
over the front seat.

That way you don't stick
to the leather.

You all three gonna
ride up front, huh?

Unless you want Andy
to sit in the back.

No!

Yeah, that's right.
He'd get a sliver back there.

Well, I guess
it'll be all right,

but just remember
one thing, goober.

You let them do all the talkin'.

Don't your horn in.
Huh?

Well, these are two people
heading for a rendezvous,

and it's just barely possible
that as a result,

they may get
matrimonial intentions.

You understand?

Say it again.

Just get rid of the gassy smell.

Right, Barn.

Looks like we won't have time

for anything but food.

Well, I wouldn't
say that, either.

Would you get that?

I forgot the potato salad.

Hello?

Hi, and. Listen,
is goober there yet?

Oh, hi, Barn. No, not yet.

He'll be there any minute.

He left about ten minutes ago.

How are you doing?

Oh, all right.

Boy, that was quite a list of
errands you two gave me to do.

Don't worry about it
or anything.

I mean, I'm getting it
all done, all right.

I already ran those books
over to the hospital

and picked up the stamps
at the post office.

Now I thought I'd pick up
aunt bee and take her shopping...

Get her out of the way.

Took on more
than you thought, huh?

No, I'm glad to do it.
Glad to do it.

I'd do anything to get
you two together for a while.

Listen, don't you worry
about a thing, you understand?

I don't want you to have
anything on your mind, except...

Well, you know.

Yeah, I know.

Listen, Barn,
I think goober's here now.

I'll hang up, okay?

Oh, hello, goober.
Come on in.

Morning, miss Helen.

Hey, Andy.

Hey, goob.

Truck all ready?

Yeah, it's outside.

Gassed up, all ready to go.

Hey, look at all that food.

Would you like something,
goober?

Well, maybe one
of them drumsticks.

Fine.

You know, Barney says

I got to take
real good care of you two.

Today could be a very important
day for you.

What?

Uh, nothing.

Let's, uh...

Boy, I sure love picnics.

Hey, remember a movie
called picnic?

Yeah.

Remember Cary Grant?

Cary Grant wasn't in picnic.

He wasn't?
No.

Speaking of Cary Grant,
I do him, you know.

You what?

I take off on Cary Grant.

Would you like to hear?

Ah, well, goob, we ought...

Glad to do it.

Cary Grant.

Judy, Judy, Judy.

Good, goob.

But Cary Grant wasn't in picnic.

It was William Holden
who was in picnic.

I can't do William Holden.
He talks like everybody else.

Everything's ready here.

We can go.

Sure can't do William Holden

but I can do Cary Grant.

Judy, Judy, Judy.

Nice shady spot with
a view of the lake.

Oh, this is bound to be pretty.

Let's just put
this blanket down right here.

Throw your sweater there.

About : ,
the sun will go down past them trees

and it won't be shady no more.

The sun won't hurt us, goober.

There we are.

Such a beautiful spot.

Yeah.

A nice view of the lake and all.

Can't see it when
you're sittin' down.

What?

Can't see the lake
when you're sittin' down.

Got to stand up to see the lake.

Well, goober, if we get
a real strong urge

to see the lake, we'll stand up.

Barney says everything's
got to be just perfect for you.

It's fine, goober.
Thanks.

Well, if it's okay with you,
I guess it's okay with me.

I got to be going.

Oh, well, why don't you
take a sandwich, goober?

Well, I...

Go ahead, goober,
take one. Take two.

So you don't get hungry
on the ride back to town.

Well, if you insist.

Sure is nice of you folks
to ask me to stay

and have a sandwich.

Andy!

Andy!

Over here, Barn.

What's up?

Nothing much.

Listen, Helen,
you forgot to leave the key.

What key?

The key to your house.

TV guy is coming, isn't he?

How did you figure
he was going to get in?

Boy, if you don't
mind my saying so

that was a little silly of you.

'Course, I suppose
you were pretty excited.

Well, Barney,
I left the key under the mat.

I told George where it would be.

Under the mat?

Oh. You did?

Huh. Well...

I'm sorry you had to come
all this way out.

Oh, forget that.

No harm done there.

I'm just sorry
I had to disturb you.

What are you
doing hanging around here?

They asked me to stay and have
a sandwich with them.

Take that sandwich
and go back to the truck.

Didn't I tell you times
they wanted to be alone?

Alone!

Go on back to the truck.

Go on!

Well, they asked me.

Boy.

Gee, and, I'm sorry about this.

You know I'd never disturb you
if I didn't have to.

Yeah, sure, Barn.

Well...

I'll be going, too.

Well, go on.

Oh, okay. I'll see ya.

Don't let anything
bother you now!

Mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm, mmm.

Now.

You keep doing that

you're going to make my poor
old head grayer than it is.

Hey, now, stop.

Oh, don't.

Andy!

Yeah?

Andy...

Oh...well...
Hi, and.

Yeah.

Hi, Helen.

Uh, over here, ope.

Listen, Andy,
a thousand pardons.

You know I'd never bother
you at a time like this

if it wasn't a real emergency.

What's the matter?
Is Opie hurt?

No, not that.
Here, ope.

Here. Come here.

Hi, pa.
Hi, miss crump.

Hi, ope.
Hi.

Here's the thing...

I was about to take
Opie to the movies...

Yeah.

You have any idea what's playing
at that theater today?

No.

It's two of them
horror pictures.

All the other kids are going.

The house of blood and
the beast that ate Minnesota.

I just don't want
the responsibility.

I mean, if he's gonna
get traumas

I don't want them on my head.

I called aunt bee,
and she ain't home,

so there was nothing to do

but to, well,
leave it up to you.

Pa, I seen a lot worse
pictures than these.

These ain't even
supposed to be scary.

If it's okay with you,
it's okay,

but I just don't want his warped
psyche on my head, that's all.

Well, Barn, it's like this...

Yeah?

I don't see anything wrong
with the pictures.

Gee, thanks, pa.

That's all I wanted to hear.

My job's finished.
Let's go, ope.

Let's get out of here
and let them get back

to what they were doing.

Go back and do whatever
you were doing.

What were you doing?

Barn!

Sounds pretty good.

Now you can do
what you were doing.

Come on, ope.

He's too much, you know that?

Yes, he is.

Well...

Take a walk?

Fine.

Yeah.

- Bye, and!
- Have fun!

Well...

I guess this is...
This is far enough.

I hope so.

Well, at least nobody
can walk right in on us.

Oh, you want to bet?

Let's hope not.

What's the matter?

Andy!

Andy!

Andy, you know I'd never
do a thing like this to you

unless it was
absolutely necessary.

What's the trouble, Barney?

George, come here.

Well, hello, George.

Hello, miss crump.
Hello, sheriff.

George.

Beautiful spot here.
Beautiful day.

Beautiful.
Just beautiful.

Yeah. What's the trouble?

Well, uh, Barney here thought
maybe I ought to come down.

Sure I did.
It's a big job.

I didn't want him
to take the set

all the way into the shop
unless he explained

what was wrong so you could
make up your own mind.

Go ahead, George.
Tell her.

Yeah, well, your linear
control is completely shot.

That's why your
picture's all wiggly.

Thelma Lou's was like that

and you fixed that
right in the house.

Yeah...well,
that was different.

Well, I don't know
anything about it.

Barn, I don't know why you had to
bring George all the way out here.

If he says the set's
got to go in the shop

why don't you let him
take the set in the shop?

Yeah.

It's a big job, Andy.

George, just take
the set in the shop.

Yeah.

Now don't bother us
anymore, Barn. Okay?

Okay, I just thought I was,

you know, doing what was best.

Yeah. Yeah.

Let's get in the boat, Helen.

Looks like the sheriff's kind of
sore, Barney.

Yeah, then we better
leave him alone.

They looked a lot bigger
when you caught them.

They always look
bigger in the water.

Be good. I'll fry 'em up.
We'll have 'em for supper.

Hello there, folks.
Hi.

You had some luck.

A little, yeah.

Good.

My name's Peterson.

I'm the game warden
in this district.

I'm glad to see you.

This is Helen crump.
I'm Andy Taylor.

How do you do?

Could I see your license,
please, Mr. Taylor?

Oh, sure.

Here, I got it.

What's the matter?

I must have left
my wallet in the uniform.

Oh, no.

You don't have a license?

I got a license.

I just don't have it with me.

I see, but you're supposed
to have a license with you

when you fish.

There's a fine.

Well, yeah...

Um, listen, I don't reckon
it would make any difference

but I'm the sheriff
over in Mayberry.

Is that so? Then you should
know the law, shouldn't you?

Come on, folks.

We can go up to the
justice of the peace

and set your fine.

Well...

Hello, Barney?

No, this is goober.

Barney's not here right now.

Oh, well, goober, this is Andy.

Andy who?

Andy Taylor.

You mean sheriff Andy Taylor?

Yeah, sheriff Andy Taylor.

Now, listen, goober...

You can't be
sheriff Andy Taylor.

Sheriff Andy Taylor's
out in the woods

with miss crump.

Which Andy Taylor are you?

No, goober, listen.

This is sheriff Andy Taylor.

I want you to give Barney
a message for me, okay?

All right. What is it?

All right, now listen careful.

Tell Barney that Helen and I

are over at the justice
of the peace

in siler city.

I was fishing and I
didn't have a license.

Yeah.

You really sheriff Andy Taylor?

Listen, goober.

Just tell Barney
to get over here

as fast as he can
with $ , okay?

$ . All right, Andy,
I'll do it.

Wait, Andy!

Here comes Barney
now. Andy?

Andy? He hung up.

What's up, goober?

Was that Andy on the phone?

Yeah.

Now, Barney,
you can believe this if you want to

but at first I didn't
know that was Andy.

See, I left him
and miss Helen...

Goober, what did he want?

He left a message for you.

Let's have it.

All right.

They're at the
justice of the peace

in siler city,

and he said something
about a license

and he wants you to bring
$ as fast as you can.

No.

Yeah, that's what he said.

I don't believe it.

Why don't you?

Because it's too good
to be true!

I set the whole thing up

and I never
actually believed that...

Are you sure
that's what he said?

Absolutely, word for word.

The son of a g*n...
The old son of a g*n!

He did it. He really
went and did it.

What do you think about that?

I don't know.
What did he do?

Well, they're getting married.

They are?

Why else do you think

they'd be
at the justice of the peace

getting a license
and needing money?

Don't you see?

It's as clear as day.

Sure!

Andy's getting married

and I'm the one that did it.

Is everybody ready?

I can't believe it.

I just can't believe it.

Now, aunt bee, there's no time

for that kind of stuff.

You can cry later.

But why do they have
to do it this way?

But why can't they
have a real wedding?

This is the best way.

Short and sweet and use
the money for furniture.

We've got a whole
houseful of furniture.

Opie, hurry down here, will you?

Hey, Barney,
is pa getting married?

Never mind that now.

I got the rice, Barn.

Did you get the shoes
and tin cans?

Yo!

Now, remember, the minute
we pull up there

you tie the shoes and the tin
cans to the rear bumper.

Yo!

Hey, why is aunt bee crying?

She's crying because she...

Aunt bee, will you just
stop crying?

Let's go. Come on.

Okay, let's go, everybody.

Goober, get busy
with those shoes and cans.

Come on, everybody.

Come on, hurry up.

Come on.

You old son of a g*n,
how are you?

Here, Helen.

Andy, why didn't you
let us know?

Oh, Helen...

What are you talking about?

Pa, are you really
getting married?

Here's the money
for your license.

Don't worry
about paying me back.

This is for a fishing fine.

We're not getting married.

You're not?

No.
Of course not.

Barney!

You beat anything, Barney...

Andy!

Mm.

Nice, isn't it?

Mm. A lot different
than yesterday.

Yeah, you better know it.

I wonder what kind of day

Thelma Lou and Barney
are gonna have.

Mm. I don't know.

I figure the only way we can
get any peace and quiet

is if I get him
out in the woods.

Myers' lake's a pretty place.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Andy, I dropped my fishin' pole
in the lake.

I was wondering
if I could borrow yours.

I hate to bother you
at a time like this.

Just one of them things, though.

You know I wouldn't
barge in on you

if it wasn't...

What you been doing?