05x05 - Aunt Bee's Romance

[bunniefuu]

Starring Andy Griffith...

With Ronny Howard...

Also starring Don knotts.

Fine breakfast, aunt bee.
Fine breakfast.

Thank you.

Yes, sir, I'm glad to know
I can face the day

without the slightest chance
of malnutrition.

Yep. Me too.

That girl's gonna
make somebody a fine bride

one of these days.

Oh, pa, would you write me
a permission for school

so I can go on a field trip?

Field trip?

Uh-huh, the whole class
is going on a bus

to a bakery in mt. Pilot
to see how doughnuts are made.

Sure.

I don't know why they call it
a field trip.

We never go to any fields.

Well...

Doughnuts sound like
more fun anyway.

There.

Yes.

There's the mail.
You want to get it?

Oh, sure, pa.

"Discount days
are here again."

It's addressed
to "occupant."

Does that mean you, pa?

Means anybody livin' here.

Am I an occupant?

Sure, you're an occupant.

You live here.
That makes you an occupant.

You mean I don't have to
be grown-up or anything

to be an occupant?

No restrictions whatsoever.

You're just as much a duly
bona fide occupant as I am.

Can I have it?

What do you want with it?

Well, I'm an occupant.

Oh, yeah.

Here's a letter for aunt bee.

Aunt bee, there's
a letter for you.

There's a letter
for you, aunt bee.

Oh...

Oh, Raleigh...

Must be Mrs. Deacon
at the auxiliary.

No. That's not her handwriting.

Who in the world...?

Any return address?

It's smudged.

I can't make it out.

Raleigh?

Raleigh?

Donna Forbes... they
moved there last may.

Oh, no, but she wouldn't
be writing letters...

Not with her arthritis.

It's not an ad.

There's writing in there.

Rita aiken?

No, no. That's not
her handwriting.

Who in the world could
be writing to me?

Know how you can find out?

Open it.

Hmm, Rita aiken...

But that's not her handwriting.

It has to be from somebody else.

Want me to give you
a permission note to open it?

Well, I can't think of a soul

who'd be writing
to me from Raleigh.

Open it, open it, open it.

All right.

It can' be.

Why, I've never been
so surprised in all my life.

I never would've guessed

in a million years.

Imagine...writing to me
after all this time.

Who's him, pa?

I don't know.

But aunt bee'll tell us
if she wants us to know.

We mustn't snoop.

Okay.

It must be all of years
or more!

You never knew him,
did you, Andy?

No, I don't believe I did.

Well, you'd like him.

I'm sure I would.

So would Opie.

Yes, ma'am.

He heard I was here

and he wrote to me.

Isn't that thoughtful?

Well, that's the kind of
person he is... thoughtful.

You said you didn't know him.

I don't.

Who is it, aunt bee?

Roger Hanover.

Roger Hanover.
Roger...Hanover.

Yes. You remember seeing his
picture in my snapshot album.

Oh...

Wasn't he a old, uh...
Old Beau of yours.

No, not a Beau.

Just a boy I used
to keep company with.

Not a Beau.

Is he, um...A married man now?

No.

I think he says here
he never married.

Not married. Hmm.

We gonna have to have this Roger
over at the house.

Yes, I suppose
we should invite him.

In a few days,
when I get around to it, that is.

Mm-hmm.

Come on, ope, I'll
drop you off at school.

Okay, pa.

You won't forget to write him?

No, no, I won't.

I'll get around to it...
Sooner or later.

Hi, aunt bee.

Hi, Andy.

Turned out to be a nice
evening, didn't it?

Yes, it did.
Did you have supper?

Mm-hmm. Me and Barney
was on patrol

and stopped off at the diner

and got a little
something to eat.

Oh, did, uh...

Did you get around
to writing Roger?

Who?

Roger.

Oh...oh. Oh, Roger Hanover.

Yes. I found a few minutes
this afternoon

and I dropped him a note

and I...Invited him
for Friday night supper.

I mean, if he has the time,
that is.

Oh...

Coming to supper...

An old Beau...Not married,

writing you letters
and coming to supper.

Think maybe I better get out

my justice of the peace book?

Oh, Andy, it's just somebody
stopping by for potluck.

There's nothing
out of the ordinary.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Just another place at the table
for Friday night supper.

There's nothing more to it
than that, nothing more.

Just another place at the
table for Friday night supper.

Yes. Nothing more than that.

Well...

What time you going
to the beauty parlor Friday?

: .

Aunt bee...
I got the ice cream.

Andy?

Well, excuse me.

You must be the
teenage babysitter.

I was looking...

Why, it's you!

Oh, Andy.

Aunt bee, look at you.

I declare, you look good
enough to take to Chinatown.

I lined it in red.

It doesn't show

but I think it gives
a little more style.

A new hairdo, red
lining on your jacket,

peach ice cream...

Oh, Andy, you
better go find Opie.

Roger said he'd
be here by : .

He's probably out back.

Wait a minute.

Roger, uh, said?

Yes. He phoned.

And what's more

he said he might be able
to stay for a few days.

Maybe till Wednesday. Maybe.

Mmm...you think
maybe I better

get out my old shoes and rice?

Oh, it was so good to
hear his voice again.

Now, now, try to control
your passion, aunt bee.

You're melting the ice cream.

Oh...

I'll put it in the freezer.

Ooh, ooh...

Bee...

Roger.

Bee...

How are you?

Just as pretty as ever.

You know, Roger,
you haven't changed a bit.

Oh...

A little something for you.

Sweets to the sweet.

Oh, Roger, you shouldn't have.

Yes, sir...

Just as pretty as ever.

Oh, Roger, stop that.

Now, remember, Opie,

you be on your best behavior.

Mr. Hanover's a very special
friend of your aunt bee's

from the old days.

Fix your hair.
Right there. Wet it.

He was her boyfriend,
wasn't he, pa?

That's right.

You think they might
get married?

Well, I haven't seen your aunt
bee this excited in a long time.

Is there supposed to be
a part in there somewhere?

Uncle Roger...

Uncle Roger.
Yeah.

Sounds pretty good.

Don't call him that.
It might scare him off.

Well...

Come on.

Well, now, what have we here?

Oh, Roger, I'd like you to meet my
nephew, Andy Taylor,

and his son, Opie.

Sure glad to meet you.

Hang it on the wall.

It's just a little joke, Andy.

Always time for a laugh, right?

Hello, Opie.

I told you,
he's full of the devil.

Come on, let me show you
to your room.

Oh, pardon me.

I'm just a little weak.

I...just got
over the grippe.

Get it?

The "grippe."

Oh!

I'm crazy!

Oh, Roger.

Hey, did I tell you what the
mirror said to the dresser?

No. What?

Oh! Roger!

That's terrible!

Morning, aunt bee.

Good morning, Andy.

Morning, Roger.

Take me to your leader!

I gave you a jolt
there, didn't I?

Yeah, you sure did, Roger.

Always like to start off the
morning with a little joke.

Morning, everybody.

Good morning, ope.

Good morning, Opie.

Aren't you going to come over

and shake hands with me?

Yes, sir.

Hey, Opie, do you know
why people have thumbs?

No, sir.

Because if they
didn't have thumbs

and you shook hands
with somebody

the other fellow's hand would
go right up your sleeve

and hit you right in the nose.

Ha-ha!
Is that funny?

Yeah, it's funny.

Well, Andy, what are you
going to have for breakfast?

Uh, I'm a little late.

I think I'll just pick up
something at the diner.

Want to come, ope?

Oh, boy!

Hey, Andy...

You left something behind.

I did?

Your footsteps.

Pa?

Hmm?

He sure does funny things,
don't he?

Yeah, he sure does.

You think he's really
going to be our new uncle?

Howdy, Floyd.

Ninety-two.

And it feels it.

I just looked at the
thermometer over the door...

You know what it is?

Ninety

ninety-two.

Hmm.

It's like an oven inside.

Hot.
Oh, it's hot.

Hmm.

Well, as Mark twain said,

"everybody complains
about the weather

but nobody does
anything about it."

He say that?

Mm-hmm.

I thought Calvin coolidge
said that.

No.
No, Floyd.

Calvin coolidge didn't say that.

What'd Calvin coolidge say?

I don't know.

You sure Mark twain didn't
get that from Calvin coolidge?

No, Floyd.

Mark twain lived
before Calvin coolidge.

Oh, oh, he couldn't have
got it from him. No.

Right.

But it's hot.
Oh, is it hot.

Mmm, what have we here?

Hmm?

Well, howdy,
aunt bee. Roger.

Out for a little
stroll, are you?

I had to do my shopping

and Roger offered
to carry my packages.

Wasn't that thoughtful?

Very nice.

My pleasure.

Roger, I'd like you
to meet Floyd Lawson.

Floyd, Roger Hanover.

I'm glad to meet you.

Floyd runs the barbershop
here in town.

Oh, clip joint, huh?

Pardon me.

Uh, clip joint.

You know, you're a
barber and you clip.

So, clip joint.

You get it?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Clip joint, barber...

Oh, I see.

Say, that's pretty good.

Well, anything special
for dinner, Andy?

Oh, no.

Nothing special.

Well, then, it'll be lamb chops.

Come on, Roger.

Adios, men.

Okay.

That's goodbye in Spanish.

Also carbolic acid.

That's goodbye in any language.

Whoa-ho-ho...

Is he on the stage?

Oh, no, Floyd.

He's just an old
Beau of aunt bee's

staying with us a few days.

Nice fella.

They'd make a good match.
Anything serious?

That's just what I'm wondering.

Well, she couldn't
go wrong with him.

Oh, he's a wonderful fella.

You can see it.
He has a sense of humor.

You like him?

You want to know
the truth, Floyd?

I can't stand him.

You can't?

No.

He's always telling
them stale jokes.

Talks all the time.
He just gets on my nerves.

Oh, yeah, I see what you mean.

He's a pushy sort
of a fella, isn't he?

Very pushy.

Well, it's too hot

to get worked up about it.

Right. It's too hot.

Yeah.

Ninety-two.

Mmm, .

Everybody complains
about the weather

but nobody does
anything about it.

You know who said that?

Calvin coolidge.

Well, I'll do the dishes.

And I'll wipe.

I'll bet that's the best offer
you had today.

Oh, no.
It'll only take me a minute.

You go into the living room
with Andy.

Wouldn't think of it.

I'm the best little old
dish wiper you ever did see.

While you're doing the dishes

I'll fix the cord on that lamp.

You do that, Andy.

Oh, oh, oh, Roger.

Oh, now, please.

You're going to get
that lovely tie all spotted.

No, I insist.

You go inside and sit with Andy.

What a woman.
One in a million.

Oh, Roger.

The fellow that gets you,

he's sure going to be
a lucky man.

Oh, Roger, the things you say.

Now go on.

Now run along.
Run along.

Whatever you say, bee.

Roger!

Get, go, go, go!

Go!

She threw me out of the kitchen.

That cord you got
in your hand there

looks a little frazzled.

Let me see.

No. It'll be all right.

Those things could become
fire hazards, you know?

Yeah, but it'll do fine.

Up to you.

Wake up some night
and see your house in flames.

Wouldn't be so funny.

No, I don't imagine I'd get
too much of a kick out of that.

No.
But this'll do fine.

Aw, you don't mind me

showing you how to
do this, do you, boy?

You've got to tighten
these little ends.

Twist 'em real tight...

So you don't get a short.

It snapped off.

I guess I over-twisted a little.

Yeah.

The dishes are all stacked

and I'm going to leave them
till morning.

Oh, haven't you got the plug
on that yet, Andy?

Well, yes and no.

I tried to help the boy.

You know, it's a funny thing,
these electrical gadgets.

You have the knack for them
or you haven't.

Hey, bee, let's go and
take a little stroll, huh?

All righty.

We're going to take
a little stroll.

Ooh, Roger!

Bee.

Pa, can I ask you a question?

Well, sure.

You don't much like
Mr. Hanover, do you?

What makes you ask
a question like that?

Well, do you, pa?

Well, Opie, he's a friend
of your aunt bee's

from the olden days.

He's a guest in this house.

Why wouldn't I like him?

Then you mean
you do like him, pa?

Well, like I say, he's-he's
a old friend of your aunt bee's

and you see how much
she's enjoying herself.

Yeah, but what if he does
become our new uncle?

Would you like that, pa?

Opie, it's way past
your bedtime.

Why don't we talk about this
in the morning?

Pa, when you say
it's way past my bedtime

is it because
it's past my bedtime

or 'cause you don't want
to tell me?

You're a regular Mr. District
attorney, aren't you?

All I want to know
is whether you like him or not.

Well, ope, I've tried
to bring you up

teaching you that there's
some good in everybody.

Now the same goes
for Mr. Hanover.

Besides, he'll be
leaving Wednesday,

so there's no point in
discussing it further.

Right?

I feel the same way you do, pa.

Good.

I don't like him either.

You sure are up bright and early
this morning, eh, Andy?

Yeah. I thought I'd get up
and pot some of these petunias

before I go to work.

I'm down to a half a cigar.

Down to the store
and get me a few more.

Hey, petunias.
They're tricky.

Give me that trowel a minute.

They got to be planted
deeper than any other...

Roger, I know

that we may not see
eye to eye on electricity...

But when it comes to pottin'
petunias, I'm a giant.

I got folks who come
from miles around

just to hear me talk
on pottin' petunias.

Just wanted to be helpful, boy.

I'll be back
in a couple minutes.

Roger, what happened?
Did you forget something?

Can't figure out what
I did with my money.

I'll bet I left it
in my other pant.

Don't happen to have a half dollar on
you, do you, Andy?

Um, yeah, I think so.

Hmm.

Oh, thanks.

Uh, Roger, uh...

I was just, uh, wonderin'
what your plans are.

Uh...plans?

Yeah. You was in Raleigh
and now here

and I was just wondering

where you're going to go
from here?

Uh, well, uh,
my original plan was...Florida.

Oh, Florida, yeah.

Nice this time of year.

But, uh, things are
running along so nicely here

I sorta hated
to think of leavin'.

Oh, we can't begin
to compare with Florida.

Ah, I don't know.

A fella can do a lot worse
than settling down

in a nice, pleasant
little place like Mayberry.

Especially with such nice folks

like, uh...You and bee.

Well...

Looks like we've taken up
right from where we left off.

Fine woman.

Make a wonderful wife.

Wouldn't she?

Oh, yeah, she sure would.

Yeah, it wouldn't be
any bother for us

to find a place.

Plenty of room here.

Ah, she's so attached
to the boy.

She'd probably want to stay
right here under this roof.

That'd be fine for me.

Oh, you've gone that far
in your thinking, have you?

I imagine if I was to propose
to her, she'd say okay.

Don't you think?

I don't know.

'Course, I was planning
on having a talk with you first.

I wouldn't want to do anything

that would make you feel
that it wasn't right for her.

Oh, and if I felt
that it wasn't for the best

then you'd be off for Florida?

Absolutely.

I'd respect your sentiments.

...only had the money.

If you only had the money?

Yeah. I don't know why

my regular check
hasn't been forwarded.

Naturally...

Can't leave without funds.

What kind of funds
were we talkin' about?

Oh, say, $ .

Nothin'.

Just a loan, understand?

Oh, sure. Sure.

$ , and I'll be right there
on that noon train.

Otherwise, I'd say
you've got yourself a new uncle.

$ , huh?

Just expenses.

Roger...

Yeah?

You'll find aunt bee
in the kitchen.

Aha.

I ain't ever expected to have
such a grown-up nephew.

I might have a hand
in those petunias yet.

Andy.

I think he's still on the porch.

Just go tell him.

Andy...

Just had a little talk with bee.

Andy, Roger's leaving on
the noon train for Florida.

Yeah, gotta be moving on.

Millions of things to do.

Gonna pack my bags.

I'll make you some sandwiches.

Sheriff...

You ever play poker?

Yeah.

Yeah, Roger, I, uh...

I used to play.

I used to be pretty good at it.

Well...

I guess you're a little sorry
to see him leave.

I know you was
having a good time.

Mm-hmm.
Do you know something?

I'll be glad to have my house
in order again.

I've let so many things go.

Not sorry to see an old Beau
get away again?

Andy, let you in
on a little secret.

You know when he came
into the kitchen

and wanted to speak to me?

Yeah.

I was scared to death he was
going to ask me to marry him.

And you wouldn't
have liked that?

Oh, heavens, no.

A little of Roger
goes a long way.

All those tricks and jokes...
They're fun for a while,

but you wouldn't want
to live with them

for the rest of your life,
would you?

No, no.
I certainly wouldn't.

No. Fun is fun, but there's
a limit to everything.

Yeah.
I'll go along with that.

In fact, I'll just shake on it.

Hang it on the wall.

Oh! Oh, Andy!