[♪♪♪]
Okay, now stepping
up to the plate
for her very first at-bat,
Michelle-chelle-chelle,
"the Babe-abe-abe-abe"
Tanner-ner-ner!
[IMITATES CROWD CHEERING]
Thank you very much.
She steps up the
plate, and digs in...
swings.
Whoa, it's a hit!
Run to first base.
Whoa, she's headed for third!
And she's going
to be safe because
she's fielding her own hit!
She's headed for first!
She's headed for first!
Whoa, she's turning
a triple into a single!
You don't see that very often.
Oh, she's headed for second.
She's stealing second!
Head home, Michelle! Head home!
She's really headed for home.
I'm home!
This game is way too easy.
[CHUCKLES]
What are you doing, Baby Ruth?
Mm, kiss and hug.
[♪♪♪]
[JESSIE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪
♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV? ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪
[♪♪♪]
BOTH: ♪ Blame it on the rain ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Rain, rain, go away ♪
♪ Come again another day ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
Great news, people.
In case anyone
wants to play with me,
I still have 20 minutes
before dance class.
Can't you see that I'm
doing our homework?
You know, there's a
country where they use
little annoying
kids for lunch meat.
Then you'd better not go there
because you're full of baloney.
Steph, why don't you
go down to the living room
and run around the
couch about 1000 times?
I'm getting the feeling
I'm not wanted here.
Make it 2000 times.
Now I'm sure of it.
Listen to this.
Yeah, yeah!
Great news, people!
I have 18 minutes
until dance class.
Who wants to play?
We'd love to, sweetheart,
but we're trying to come up
with some interesting
things for tomorrow's show.
Talk about my day.
So far, it's been fascinating.
It all started when I heard
the alarm clock and woke up.
You might want to take notes.
And then I opened my eyes,
and right in the corner
were those little eye crispies.
Uh, Steph... They were
really crunchy today.
Hold on a second.
Honey, just a second.
Sweetie, I know
you tell great stories,
and I love they way you
put in every last detail,
like the shoes people wear
or what the weather was like
or the color of the paint on
the wall. Ha, what happens
is even the simplest story
just goes on and on and on.
Gee, I wonder where
she gets that from.
Uncle Jesse, wait'll you
hear all about my day.
I know, you told me.
Eye crispies, gross.
Oh, I haven't told Joey yet.
Ah, perfect. Joey loves
a good eye-crispy story.
Becky,
what do you say we have a
nice romantic evening tonight.
I'll come over to your place,
cook up a little
chicken à la Jessé.
I'm sorry, sweetie.
I can't make it.
I have a business dinner
with Beau McIntyre.
Beau Mc... Who's Beau McIntyre?
Now, Jesse. Calm down.
There's no reason to be jealous.
He's a guest on tomorrow's show.
By the way, Jess, you
gotta catch this guy.
He's amazing. He's
only 30 years old,
he's an ex-quarterback,
a neurosurgeon,
and he was just voted
the Bay Area's most
eligible bachelor.
You're not going.
Well, I guess my
work here is done.
I really have to get
back to the station.
Yeah, and I have to get
ready for my business dinner.
The one you have no
reason to be jealous of.
Jealous, me? Come on.
The kid being jealous?
I don't think so.
I'm not jealous.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to take a long ride
until this feeling of not
being jealous passes.
And I'm sitting in class,
and the teacher says,
"Today's lunch is
macaroni surprise."
So, I raise my hand and say,
"Excuse me, but when
you say it's macaroni,
you ruin the surprise."
Steph, listen, And...
I love hearing your stories,
but you haven't said a word
about my brand-new used car.
Nice.
Now back to my day.
Wait, hold on. Steph,
this is a 1963 Rambler.
It's a classic. It's
in primo condition.
You know, people say
it's wrong to love a car,
but I don't care
what people say.
I love you, Rosie.
Mmm-mwah!
Oh, no.
What's wrong, Joey?
Nick.
Okay. What's wrong, Nick?
No. There's a nick
in the paint, Steph.
Look, I'm gonna go down
to Sid & Jean's Auto Supplies
and get a little bottle
of touch-up paint.
Comet, you wanna go for a walk?
[WHISTLES]
Oh-ho-ho.
Well, I guess I'll take
that for a "yes," huh.
I'll watch Rosie for you.
Thanks, Steph.
Okay, Comet, now,
let's not say hello
to every tree in the
neighborhood, okay?
Bye, Joey!
Hi, Rosie.
Better buckle up.
[IMITATES ENGINE VROOMING]
I need some driving music.
[ENGINE STARTS]
Whoa! Stay.
Stay.
Good car. Good car.
Ah.
P, R, N, D... R.
Must mean "radio."
Whoa, Rosie, whoa!
[SCREAMS]
I'm in the house,
and I'm still in the car.
Oh, my...
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Oh, my. What did I do?
Aw.
Please be a dream.
Please be a dream.
It's a nightmare.
Maybe no one will notice.
Hello, Michelle.
There's a car in the kitchen!
There is?
Oh, there is.
Did you see how it got here?
No.
Good. I'm in the clear.
Until Joey gets home
and tells Dad how he
left me alone with the car.
Then I'm dead meat.
You got it, dude.
♪ Straight up, now tell me ♪
♪ Do you really wanna
Love me forever? ♪
BOTH: ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
Hey.
I said, hey.
What do you want, squirt?
Don't call me squirt.
May we help you, madame?
There's a car in the kitchen.
Yeah, and there's a
bus in the bathroom.
Good one, Deej.
[LAUGHS]
Steph, why are
you packing a bag?
Well, uh...
we're having a dress
rehearsal at dance class,
and I need something
to rehearse dressing in.
[CAR HONKING]
Uh-oh. Gotta go, that's my ride.
Goodbye, D.J.
I'll always remember you.
Goodbye, Michelle.
Best of luck in
everything you do.
See you, Gibbler.
New Kids on the
Block. No, New Kids...
BOTH: Whoa, baby!
There's a car in the kitchen!
I told you so.
Michelle, do you know
how Joey's car got in here?
Yes, I do.
How?
Through the window.
Girls, I'm home.
Listen, I...
Have mercy!
There's a...
Th-there's... There's
a car in the kitchen.
Thank you.
How did a car
get in the kitchen?
BOTH: Through the window.
Is everybody okay?
Yeah, we're all fine.
DANNY: Hello.
But I don't think
Dad is gonna be fine.
Well, all right.
We have to break this
to him very gently, okay.
DANNY: Hey, where is everybody?
In your new garage.
We'll be right back.
Stall Dad.
All right.
Come on, Michelle. Come with me.
It'll be a lot harder for
him to cry in front of you.
Hi, guys. How's it going?
JESSE: Oh.
Fine.
Had a bang-up day.
There's a car in the kitchen!
[CHUCKLES]
[JESSE CHUCKLES]
Michelle, you're so silly.
She's not that silly.
Um, there's actually something
I would like to show
you in the kitchen.
Okay, I'm ready. Send him in.
Oh.
This is great.
I love surprises.
Let's see. It's
not Father's Day.
No.
Oh, I love this.
This must be one of those
bonus "I love Dad" days.
I don't know.
Good face, Dad.
Is everybody all right?
Where's Stephanie?
We're all fine.
Stephanie's at dance class.
Look at this house!
Look at this kitchen!
Look at this mess! I
just waxed the floor.
Where's my best friend, Joey?
Dad, let me get one
more picture of you.
This is a very serious matter.
That's okay. You
don't have to smile.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Who is it?
Stephanie Judith Tanner.
Steph, what are you doing here?
My car pool dropped me off.
I came to say goodbye.
Goodbye?
Stephanie, come in here.
Where are you going?
I'm moving to Mexico.
I'm going to start a new
life as a Mexican hat dancer.
Stephanie, you're not
allowed to cross the street.
How can you cross the border?
I have no choice.
I'm a woman on the run.
Why?
Because.
I can never go home again.
[♪♪♪]
Steph, why can't you go home?
I'm having a little problem.
Actually, it's more
like a super, gigant-o,
dinosaur-sized problem.
Steph, come over here.
Sit down and tell
me what happened.
It's too terrible.
I can't even say the words.
Stephanie, honey, you
can tell me anything.
Okay.
I dro...
I dro...
I dro...
You dropped something.
Did something break?
What did you break?
You name it, I broke it.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
JESSE: Hey, Becky, it's me.
It's Uncle Jesse!
You gotta hide me!
Oh, but... Stephanie...
Just don't tell him I'm here.
Please. Please. Please!
[KNOCKS ON DOOR] Becky!
Oh. Uh, coming.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I heard voices.
Who were you talking to?
Uh, heh. Nobody.
I'm a talk-show host,
and I was practicing talking.
You look beautiful.
Way too beautiful
for a business dinner.
Oh, Jess,
those are lovely
roses. Are they for me?
Maybe.
Well, yeah,
I was gonna come over and
apologize for acting jealous
about that McIntyre creep.
Look at this. I'm
doing it again.
I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?
Of course I forgive you.
This was very sweet.
Well, thanks for coming by.
I'll call you later
and tell you all about
my boring dinner. Bye.
Whose suitcase is that?
Uh... Well, it's
not what you think.
Someone's in the closet,
isn't there. Who's in there?
What closet?
It's McIntyre, is...?
Uh... McIntyre, come on out!
I got your business
dinner right here!
Jess. J-Jesse.
Just as I suspected.
Nobody's in here.
[GIGGLES]
Steph, what are you doing here?
Just hanging around.
Come on down. Let's go.
Steph has a super, gigant-o,
dinosaur-sized problem, Jess.
Oh, she does, huh?
Why don't you sit down over
here and tell Uncle Jesse about it?
Okay.
I sort of... drove Joey's car...
into the kitchen.
You're the one who drove Joe...
Steph, you can't even drive.
You're telling me.
No wonder you're
moving to Mexico.
Take it from a guy who's
been in trouble a lot.
Now, I know you're
feeling scared,
and you feel like you gotta run,
but let me tell you something.
The best way to solve
this problem is to go home
and face the music.
Was Dad really mad
when he saw the kitchen?
Well, you'll be able
to see for yourself
when D.J.'s pictures come
back from the one-hour photo.
Come on.
Let's go.
[♪♪♪]
Hey, Dad, it's almost dinner.
Do you want me to set the car?
Sure, honey, but use
the good hubcaps.
[WHISTLING]
You're in big trouble, mister.
Joey, are you okay?
You had us worried sick.
Danny, I'm fine.
In that case, you're
in big trouble, mister!
Hey, look. I know
I'm a little late,
but you're not gonna
believe what happened.
I had this little nick
in my car, right...
You don't say.
And I went to buy
some touch-up paint,
and you'll never
believe who I ran into.
Speaking of running into things,
come with me into the kitchen.
Oh, are you upset because
I took the last ice cube
and didn't refill the tray?
Something like that.
Wait, Dad. Let me
get in there first.
Danny, look, I'll
go to the store.
I'll buy some more ice.
Everything will be fine, okay?
Don't worry about it.
My car!
Rosie!
This is my punishment for
not filling the ice-cube tray?
Are you saying you
didn't know about this?
If I did, don't you think
I would have bought
a bigger jar of touch-up paint?
Danny, when I left, Stephanie
was watching my car.
What the heck happened?
Well, here's someone who
knows what the heck happened.
I was taking a make-believe
drive through the country,
and I wanted to play the radio,
So I turned the key,
and the next thing I
knew, I was in the kitchen.
I should have never left
those keys in the ignition.
It's not your fault, Joey.
I had no business
being in your new car.
It was perfect.
Well, almost.
The radio didn't work.
Now he tells me.
Go ahead, Dad.
Yell, scream, punish me.
Or if you want, I'll
just move to Mexico.
Right now I want you just
to wait upstairs in your room
until I can figure out
what to do with you.
Come on, Steph.
Here, Deej. Take
your sister upstairs.
Make sure she
doesn't skip the country.
My turn to drive the car.
You know the rules, Michelle.
Nobody gets to drive
till they're 8 years old.
[SOBBING] Rosie!
Don't cry. Be a big boy.
Come on, Steph. You
just made a mistake.
But everything's
gonna be all right.
D.J., I'd like to talk to
Stephanie alone, please.
Sure, Dad.
Hang in there, Steph.
Go easy on her,
Dad. She's just a kid.
Stephanie, I am very
disappointed in you.
How could you do this?
You could have been hurt.
You could have
hurt someone else.
What you did today
is the stupidest thing
you've ever done.
I know, that's why I ran away.
And you know better
than that too, don't you?
I know. Everything
I do is wrong!
I hate myself!
Steph... come out
from under there.
I don't deserve fresh air.
How long do you intend
to stay under that blanket?
Until I get married.
You know, it could
be very difficult
to meet somebody under there.
Then I'll just stay in my
room the rest of my life.
Well, I don't know about that.
But I do know that I am
going to have to punish you.
Bigtime.
Then I should never
get any allowance
or presents ever again.
And you should send me
away to carpenter school,
so I can build you
a brand-new house
that you can live in without me.
And you'd never have
to hug or kiss me again.
[♪♪♪]
Steph, there is nothing
you could ever do
that would make me stop
hugging and kissing you.
[SOBBING] Nothing?
Come here.
Look...
you have to know that no
matter what you do wrong,
and no matter how angry I get,
I am always going
to forgive you.
Because I love you.
How can you still love me?
I wrecked Joey's car,
and I broke the house.
Steph, those are just things.
We can always buy a new car,
or we could put up a new wall,
but there's only one
Stephanie Judith Tanner.
[SNIFFLES]
And you could never be replaced.
Gee, I never thought of that.
I think about it every day.
I love you, Dad.
[♪♪♪]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪