01x01 - Dancing to the Max

[bunniefuu]

(bell rings)

♪ When I wake up in the morning and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low on my chair, she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the bell. ♪

(music plays)

Hey everybody, attention please!

(music stops, kids groan)

No, no, no. I just got a telegram.

All: Ooh!

"'Dance Party' has selected 'The Max' for a televised dance contest with all those great kids from Bayside, next Saturday."

And it's signed...

(mimicking voice) "Casey Kasem!"

Let me see that. Cool, a dance contest!

How about you and I enter in the contest?

We could win it all.

Win? With you? Your feet need training wheels.

Winning, losing? Dancing is supposed to be fun.

Well, it will be fun -- if Kelly dances with me.

Well, gee, guys, I'd love to be partners with both of you.

Why don't you just go with the best dancer?

Hit it.

(music plays)

(cheering)

Wow, Slater, that was hot.

Are you kidding?

I moved better last summer when a bee flew in my shorts.

I'm waiting, "Preppie." Let's see what you got.

Move back, give him room. Hot feet coming through!

Slater, I could beat you now with three toes tied behind my back.

You think you're a better dancer than me?

Go practice first, then we'll have a real dance-off.

Wow, a dancing duel. How exciting!

Hey Lisa, my horoscope says we're destined to dance together.

My horoscope says, "Beware of dorks."

Well, I'll protect you from them!

Hey Jessie, you want to be my partner for the dance contest?

Gee Danny, I'd love to.

Actually, no. I don't believe in dance contests.

Then why don't we just skip the contest and kiss all night?

Bye, Danny.

Hmm...

Skip the date and start with a goodnight kiss?

That Danny has good ideas.

Jessie: This cannot be right.

Tell me something is wrong with this scale before I hyperventilate.

The only thing wrong with that scale is the flake who's on it.

I have grown an inch taller since lunch. I feel like a giant.

You are not a giant.

You're a bright, sensitive, popular girl.

Everyone "looks up" to you.

Thanks a lot.

I mean, what's going to happen to me if I keep growing?

Stand tall. Be proud.

And practice your slam dunk.

Before I begin I have to make a very sad announcement.

Beethoven's alive?

Very amusing, Mr. Morris. ♪ Ha-ha ha-ha ♪ No, unfortunately I have to conduct two music classes today, simultaneously.

Poor Mrs. Wickham slipped and got her head stuck in a tuba.

Well maybe they should get "Fat Tommy" to blow her out.

Good suggestion.

All right, people, today, we're going to play a piece by Johann Sebastian Bach.

A piece?

Why can't we play the whole thing?

All right people, instruments up! One bar for nothing.

One, and two, and three, and...

(playing out of tune)

Oh! Thrilling!

Bach always gives me chills.

Keep playing my little wunderkind, I'll be right Bach-- I mean, back.

(playing rock and roll style)

(playing out of tune)

Beautiful, beautiful! I'm getting chills.

Are you feeling what I'm feeling?

Yes sir, it was the fish sticks at lunch.

You are what you eat, Powers.

All right, let me hear the horns!

(plays sour note)

No chewing gum in class, Mr. Morris.

All right, piano!

(off-key)

Elegantly played, Powers. Let's hear strings and flute!

(strings out of tune)

You're moving me, you're moving me.

(resuming rock style)

Slater: All right, move it, Jessie!

Kelly: Whoo! Shake it, girl!

Zack, why don't you show Kelly what a great dancer you are?

Not now, Screech.

Go ahead, Zack, I'm dying to see you dance.

Yeah, dazzle us, Preppie.

(resuming off-key playing)

Wonderful. This is why I went into teaching.

Wonderful, wonderful. Now a little faster tempo.

Allegro con motto. Poco, poco. Yes.

Nice. A little "brighter." Yes, nice.

There you are. Lovely.

(playing fast)

Huh? Wait a minute. People, it's a little too...

Cut it back. That's a little too bright, people.

Where are you taking me? (playing faster)

Slow down, people! It's too fast!

People, please!

Surcease!

(music stops abruptly)

Jessie, I'm in big trouble.

What'd you do? Try to sell your parents' house again?

I can't dance. I've been faking it for years.

If you can't dance, why'd you challenge Slater?

If Kelly and Slater enter that contest, they're going to win.

That means their names are going to be on the trophy.

Together... touching.

So? So, I've got to stop them.

I can't allow them to "name-neck."

Ugh.

Jessie, you're a terrific dancer. Come on, you've got to help me.

Sure I'll help. Let's see a few of your best moves.

Come on.

(snaps fingers off-rhythm)

So, what do you think?

I think you should go with Screech.

(knocking) Come in.

Mr. Belding? My name's Casey Kasem.

I'm here to talk about the dance party at The Max.

"Details coming up, right after I return."

Just kidding.

Casey Kasem! Wow.

I heard about the dance party.

Is there anything I can do to help?

I'm the "Big Bopper" around here.

Well actually, there is one thing.

Well, sit down and lay it upon me, "Big 'C.'"

At "Dance Party" we try to get the support of the local schools.

Say no more. You want me to help you host the event.

That hadn't occurred to me.

I know.

You heard about me winning the 1963 "Chubby Checker Twist-Off."

Here's a little taste.

♪ Let's twist again, like we did last summer ♪

♪ Yeah, let's twist again, like we did last year ♪

You want me to recreate that moment, right?

Well actually, I was hoping I could borrow a school banner.

A banner? That's all?

That's all, "Bopper."

Well okay, I'll present it to you on the show.

Gee, that'd be great. But I can take it right now.

(snaps) I don't have one right now.

I'll bring it to you.

Oh, Zack, when are you going to have the dance-off?

I need to know who my partner is.

Well, Slater will be humiliated the day after tomorrow.

Are you really that much better than him?

Every summer while the other kids were playing baseball, I was at dance camp.

Wow, I can't wait.

Why did I say that?

Zack: Whatever you're doing, don't.

My darling, be my partner, and this could be you.

So what do you say? Pick you up, seven-ish?

Forget it, Screech. She's already going with me.

Lisa, is that true?

Sorry Screech, he asked me this morning. Come on.

It's all your fault. I told you to let me lead.

(dance music plays)

Whoo! You're doing great. I am?

Hey, I am, aren't I?

Okay now, here's a new step I just invented.

Awesome. Come on. Do it with me.

Slater's going to freak out when he sees this.

Whoo!

Let's take five.

Yeah, let's cool down. You're new at this.

(music stops)

Thanks.

You're a terrific dancer.

Yeah, well, I went to dance camp when I was a kid.

They actually have those?

I can't believe you're not entering the contest.

No big deal.

You're not into some strange religion, are you?

No. Then what's the problem?

Zack, I don't want to talk about it, okay?

Would you like to dance with me? I can't. I'm bigger than you.

And I'm still growing at this very moment.

Too bad. Maybe I should have asked 10 minutes ago.

Hey Jessie, let's dance.

I'm too big for you. I'm too big for everyone.

Jessie, is that you up there? Yes, it's me.

You don't want to dance with me, do you?

I can't. Everybody will laugh at us.

Zack, I do have a problem -- I'm too tall.

Well, I haven't noticed anyone measuring you lately.

That's because they can't reach me.

Zack, you don't know what it's like to be "the freak" -- taller than all the boys -- the jokes, the looks, the whispers.

Stop looking up at me! Look at the bright side.

At least you're the first one to know when it rains.

Zack!

I'm sorry. Come on, there's lots of guys taller than you.

Name one.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?

Come on, Screech, cheer up. It can't be that bad.

It's no use trying to look stud-like anymore.

I think this time it's really over between me and Lisa.

Look, you can't give up.

I heard if Byron hadn't asked Lisa first, she'd have gone with you.

I know. I started that rumor.

Well then maybe you should start looking for someone else.

I can't. I've been crazy about her since kindergarten, When I glued my face to the back of her sweater.

So you've been "stuck on her" a long time, huh?

But what's the use? The story never changes.

There's the beautiful princess, the dashing frog, And the wart he left behind.

Come on, Screech, I think you're being too hard on yourself.

(knocking) Who is it?

Can I come in? Zack?

This is the first time in 11 years you've come through the door.

Well, there's a special reason.

Here. These are for you.

Oh, they're beautiful.

We have the same kind growing in our yard.

Not anymore.

Well, this is just to say thanks for helping me.

We're not finished yet. We still have one more lesson.

(music plays) Pretend I'm Kelly.

"Oh Zack. Help me choose between you and Slater."

Voilà!

Lisa, what happened to you?

I kicked the TV and sprained my ankle.

Why?

Watching the new Revlon commercial -- they discontinued my nail polish.

That was a dumb thing to do.

Where were you "Miss Pretty Pants," when I needed that advice?

Lisa, this is terrible. I feel awful.

Don't worry about it, Byron. I'll be okay.

Yeah, but can you dance on that ankle?

Well, the doctor said there's a chance.

"A chance"?

Well, I can't take that chance. I really want to win this contest.

Byron, what are you saying?

I'm going to have to go with my back-up, Didi Garrison.

How could you do that to me?

Hey, let's "pants" him.

Better start running now, punk, or there's going to be a "full moon."

Yeah, and don't show your face around here again!

Hold me back, Slater! Hold me back! No one hurts my woman!

He's a fool, Lisa. You're hot no matter what.

You're strange, but thanks, Screech.

If you like strange, I'm your man.

Well guys, it's the big moment. What?

Zack, dance for me and help me choose between you and Slater.

Kelly, do yourself a favor, go with Slater.

Zack, what are you saying? Yeah, what are you up to, Preppie?

Well, nothing. I've decided to go with Jessie.

Jessie?

If that's what you really want, Zack.

Come on, Slater. Let's go practice.

Will you go with me? I'd love to be your partner.

Didn't your mother ever tell you not to slouch?

You're much prettier when you stand up straight.

Thanks. Oh, and one other thing.

Don't forget your high heels. You might need them.

Can I have your attention, please?

(music stops)

It's now my pleasure to introduce the star of "Dance Party."

Let's give him a "big hand."

The golden voice from the Golden State...

(mimicking voice) Casey Kasem!

(applause)

Max, thank you. And thank you for letting us use this great hangout for our dance contest this week.

Now, is everybody ready? (cheers, applause)

You know, through the years, I've been to a lot of schools.

I've met a lot of principals, but I have never met a principal who is so caring, so involved, and so hip, as your own "Big Bopper" Belding.

(cheers, applause)

Thank you, "Caseman."

Now can I have the banner? Of course.

One minute, everybody. Stand by and enjoy yourselves.

I could twist and sing. Let go of the microphone.

And now, the big moment -- the announcement of our three finalists who will all dance for you one more time, and then we'll pick the big winner with your applause.

Ready with the applause meter? Ready, Casey.

Our first finalists, the exciting "Spandex Twins"...

Kelly Kapowski and AC Slater.

(applause, music plays)

(crowd claps in rhythm)

All right, very good.

Now for finalists number two, the "Powerhouse Preppies," welcome Zack Morris and Jessie Spano.

(applause, music plays)

All right, now for our final couple, With a new dance they've invented called "The Sprain,"

Screech Powers and Lisa Turtle. Bring 'em on.

(applause, music plays)

(applause rises)

Hey, there is no doubt about it.

We have a winner. It is Screech and Lisa!

(cheers)

All right.

Well, that's a "good night" from us here at "Dance Party," everybody.

Till next time, this is Casey Kasem saying, "Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars."

Come on, everybody, let's do-- "The Sprain"!

(music continues)

Boy: Work, Casey!

(instrumental theme music plays)