03x16 - Mr. Monk and the Kid

[bunniefuu]

[Children chatter, dog barks]

Hey, Jamie. Jamie, what did I say?

Not so high. You're gonna break your neck.

And you know who they're gonna blame?

They're gonna blame me.

What?

Hungry.

You can't be hungry. You just ate.

Where's the other one, the, uh, the... the little guy?

Have you seen Tommy?

No.

Tommy?

[Ominous music]

Tommy?

Tommy!

(Police dispatch) All units be advised we have a missing child.

Two years old, male Caucasian.

Last seen at edgewater park wearing red Polo shirt, blue pants.

His name is Tommy grazer.

Stand by. I think we got him.

Hi, big guy.

Everybody's looking for you.

What do you got there?

What have you got there, big guy?

Oh, my god, where did you get this?

[Randy Newman ragtime theme]

♪ It's a jungle out there

♪ disorder and confusion confusion everywhere ♪

♪ No one seems to care

♪ well, I do

♪ hey, who's in charge here?

♪ It's a jungle out there

♪ poison in the very air we breathe ♪

♪ You know what's in the water that you drink? ♪

♪ Well, I do, and it's a-ma-zing ♪

♪ People think I'm crazy 'cause I worry all the time ♪

♪ If you paid attention, you'd be worried too ♪

♪ You'd better pay attention or this world we love so much ♪

♪ Might just k*ll you

♪ I could be wrong now

♪ but I don't think so

♪ 'cause it's a jungle out there ♪

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

Any word from the hospitals?

Not yet. We're still checking.

All right, we need to talk to anybody who was in the park or near the park.

We're gonna lock it down.

Sir, it's three-and-a-half acres.

Lock it down and keep it locked down.

If there's a body here, we're gonna find it, if it takes all night.

Hey, monk, Natalie. Thanks for coming.

Hey, we just got your call.

I didn't quite understand it.

You found a body?

Uh, not quite.

There's a two-year-old boy named Tommy grazer...

Not two years... 22 months.

Not quite two.

Whatever.

Anyway, um, he was, um, separated from his mother.

His, uh, guardian.

She's not actually his mother.

She runs a foster home.

It's for the record.

Yeah, for the record, stand over there.

Anyway, he was in the playground, and he disappeared for, like, 10 minutes.

14 minutes.

When we found him, the little guy had a severed human finger.

A finger? A pinky.

It was still bleeding, freshly severed.

Probably about four hours ago.

About four hours ago.

I just said that, Randy!

(Natalie) Just a finger?

Yeah, so far.

Now, we're not telling the press anything.

All we're telling them is that somebody found a body part.

We're not giving them any details.

Where did he find it?

The boy's not talking.

Maybe he hates cops.

Maybe he's two years old.

Tommy, this is Adrian monk and Natalie teeger.

And this is Mrs. Novak, the boy's legal guardian.

You can't keep us here. We haven't done anything.

Mrs. Novak, I promise you we'll get you out of here just as soon as we can.

Hi. Hi, sweetie.

My name is Natalie.

Gimme five!

Yeah!

Hey, this is my friend.

Monk.

Pretty good with kids.

Oh, it's sort of my job.

Hello.

My name is Adrian monk.

Monk!

That's right.

I'm working with the police department.

Technically, I'm here as a consultant.

Do you understand? Consultant.

Mr. Monk, he's not gonna get that.

Sort of an adjunct.

Monk, I don't know what an adjunct is.

Monk, monk!

I'd like to take him for a little walk.

See where he goes. Maybe he'll retrace his steps.

Is that okay?

Yeah.

Okay, um, would you like to go for a walk?

Monk.

Monk.

Monk!

He won't stop saying monk.

Hello!

[Singing gibberish]

[Speaking gibberish]

Where did you find that finger?

Was it over there?

Was it over here?

Um, this way.

This way? Yeah.

Are you sure?

Looks like monk finally found a friend.

Her name was Trudy.

She was 34 years old.

We never found the k*ller.

I mean, we had a lead in New York last year, but so far, it's pretty much a dead end.

Ooh! Careful.

Oh, no, no. No, no, no, no.

Tommy, don't put that in your mouth.

No, see, that is nature.

See, we never put that in our mouths.

Nature is dirty.

See? Nature dirty.

Nature dirty.

Here, look.

Here...

Okay, now look.

I'm gonna give you...

I'm gonna give you an extra wipe.

You keep it in your pocket for later.

You'll need that later. Here.

Here, put it right in your pocket and keep it for later.

Okay, let's go. All right.

Nature dirty.

That's what I'm saying.

And he wouldn't let go.

Did you see him?

Yes, monk, we saw him. We were there.

I mean, every time I tried to say good-bye, he just hugged me tighter, even tighter.

And he had the most perfect little hands.

Did you notice his... his perfect hands?

Yes, Mr. Monk, he liked you.

You think so?

He kept on saying your name over and over, didn't he?

"Monk, monk, monk." Yeah, he did.

Are you ready?

Yeah. Yes, sir.

It is a left pinkie belonging to a male Caucasian about 25 years old.

So far, there's no match on the fingerprint.

The digit was severed earlier today, we figure about 8 A.M., with some kind of gardening instrument, like pruning shears.

He cut up a whole body with pruning shears?

No, maybe they just

there'll be no prints.

There's a callous.

That's true.

We think he might have played guitar.

No, not guitar.

It's at the wrong angle.

He played the violin.

There's some residue.

Sticky.

Like sap.

Tree sap.

Lumberjack.

Missing nine-fingered lumberjack.

Who plays the violin.

Should I put a list together?

Absolutely... make sure you don't run out of paper.

It's not tree sap.

We already ran it.

The main component is abietic acid.

Abietic acid?

That's violin resin.

I think that's pretty expensive resin.

So... professional, or at least very serious, violinist, 25 years of age, who is missing.

(Woman) You want to speak with my son?

(Monk) Yes.

Ma'am, we've been talking to musicians all day, and we understand that Daniel plays violin for the bay city quintet.

Yes, that's right.

In his spare time.

Well, according to your son's employer, he called in sick this morning.

He got home very late last night, and he was tired.

Is he home, Mrs. Carlyle?

Mother?

Is something... Wrong?

These people are with the police.

They want to talk with you.

Can you ask them to come back?

I'm rehearsing right now.

Daniel Carlyle?

That's right.

Could I see your other hand?

I have a concert tonight, if you don't mind.

Sorry to bother you, Mr. Carlyle.

Uh, have a nice day, ma'am.

Well, that was number eight.

He was the last one on our list.

I wonder if the captain's doing any better.

I'm sure he would have called.

Maybe I should talk to that boy again.

You mean Tommy? He's two years old.

He's not gonna be able to tell you anything.

I don't know. He found the finger.

Maybe if I spent some more time with him...

You miss him, don't you?

We're going bye-bye now. Here we go.

It wasn't my fault.

The kid walked away for ten minutes.

I mean, it could happen to anybody.

It's not my decision, Janet.

When an incident like this happens, we always remove the child till the agency can review the situation.

The kid found a pinkie. It's no big deal.

It might be an indication that you and Raymond are...

Overtaxed here.

I mean, you already have four foster children.

Yeah, well, we're doing the very best we can, Mrs. Crane.

I know you are, Janet.

Why don't you call my office in the morning and we'll see where we stand, okay?

Say good-bye.

Here we go.

May I help you?

Hi, I'm Natalie teeger, and this is Adrian monk.

And we're working with the police on the investigation.

About the severed...

Uh, right, Mrs...

Crane, Theresa crane. I'm Tommy's caseworker.

Monk!

I see you two have met before.

What happens to him now? It's a tough one.

I've been trying to place him with a family in Livingston.

It would be a perfect match, but they can't take him for two weeks.

I'll take him.

What?

What are you gonna do, adopt him?

I'll take him.

I'll take him.

Monk.

Uh, this is the last form.

Just sign here.

Doesn't have to be perfect.

Maybe it does.

Normally, I would prefer a longer waiting period, but because you and Tommy have already bonded and it's just a temporary placement, I decided to go with my instincts.

There we go.

Congratulations.

Now, before I go, do you have any questions for me?

Yes, yes, I have a couple of questions.

What does he eat?

He... eats food.

[Gibberish]

He eats whatever you eat, only smaller portions.

So he's like a person.

Exactly.

And when he wakes up...

Yes?

What do I do?

You take care of him.

You play with him.

You love him.

How... how... how do I love him?

Mr. Monk, you don't need me to tell you that.

You're off to a great start with Tommy.

[Laughs]

He likes you already, a lot.

You can always call your friend Natalie.

I think she's great.

Oh! I'll check in tomorrow and see how you're doing.

Wait a second. Wait a minute.

Wait, you're leaving? You're leaving now? Wait.

Right now, like...

You'll be fine.

Just trust yourself. [Tommy cries]

Bye, Tommy. Have fun!

Well, thank you.

Thanks. Thanks again.

[Tommy crying]

No, no, Tommy, don't cry.

I promise I'm gonna do the best I can.

It's okay, don't cry.

Don't cry. Everything's okay.

Look! Look! Look!

Ah.

[Whistles]

[Boy giggles]

Where'd you go? Where'd that kid go?

Yes, nice and neat.

Nice and neat.

Nice and neat.

911 emergency.

(Monk) You've gotta help me!

Look, I've just taken in a two-year-old boy.

My, uh, assistant isn't home, and I can't... I can't reach her.

Ohh!

Oh, god. Ugh!

Sir, what is the nature of your emergency?

It's everywhere!

It's b.M., it's b.M., it's b.M.

It's b.M., it's b.M.!

Sir, you have to stop saying b.M. Now.

Do you mean your child is soiling his diapers?

Yes!

Yes, he's soiling his... his diaper with... with, you know, b.M.

You mean you've never changed a diaper?

Hurry!

Okay, listen carefully.

There should be two velcro straps on the sides.

Find the two straps.

Okay!

Okay, I've got the straps.

Now rip 'em open. [Velcro rips]

Ohh!

[Whimpers]

Oh! Oh, my god.

Ugh, the humanity.

Okay, sir.

All right, do you have any wipes?

Yes, I've got about 2,000!

That should be fine.

Not gonna be enough.

Sir, you're gonna have to wipe your son's bottom.

Uhh... aah!

Aaaaaah!

Sir, is the boy all right?

He's fine. That was me.

Wait a... Minute.

Oh, my god, he's making more.

Is it number one or number two?

It's one!

And two, and...

Oh, my god, it's three.

It's number three!

Sir, I'm afraid you're on your own.

This line is for emergencies only.

[Piano playing]

(Man) That's right, children.

That was the piano.

[Violin playing]

♪ And that instrument was the violin.

Now let's listen to the piano and the violin.

♪

Are you sure he's okay?

Oh, yeah, he's fine.

Mr. Monk, why is he wearing a snow suit?

Well, it felt a little chilly.

There was a little nip in the air.

My gosh, he's sweating.

He is?

Oh, there you go, honey.

There you go. Okay, that's better, huh?

So what are we doing here?

You remember that guy we met the other day?

Daniel Carlyle.

Well, that wasn't the real Daniel Carlyle.

That guy wasn't a violinist at all.

He wasn't?

Hm-mmm.

I remembered something.

He said that we interrupted his rehearsal, remember?

Mm-hmm.

But the violin bow in his hand was loose.

So he couldn't have been playing.

Plus, I went to the library this morning, and I found this.

Look... bay city quintet.

That's the group that Daniel Carlyle plays with.

And he said that he had a concert that night.

Look, there's nothing on the schedule.

The bow was loose?

I think we met his brother.

But why would they be lying?

I don't know.

Maybe...

[Whispering] Maybe the real Daniel Carlyle is dead.

And the mother and brother k*lled him.

[Whispering] No, I can't believe that.

Wouldn't be the first time.

Maybe we should call stottlemeyer.

Yeah, I will, as soon as I'm sure.

Oh, my god. What is this?

Why is he wearing a helmet?

To protect his head.

It must be so uncomfortable.

Oh, he'll get used to it.

I used to wear one all the time.

Your parents made you wear a helmet?

No.

There they are.

There they are.

Here we go.

It's been 20 minutes.

What do you think they're doing?

(Monk) I don't know.

Waiting for somebody.

Here you go.

How's everything here?

Perfect, thank you, but can we get some more napkins, please?

Mr. Monk, can I ask you something?

Why did you take Tommy in?

I-i-i...

Well, he needed me, and i-i-i...

I thought...

I thought someday... You know...

I thought somehow...

Maybe he would...

Love you?

Oh, my gosh, look.

He's separating his food.

[Gibberish]... Food.

[Laughing]

Mr. Monk, look, look, look.

Natalie.

I had it all wrong.

Daniel's not dead.

He's been kidnapped.

How did you know?

We followed you.

We saw you at the pay phone.

Then we saw you go to the bank and make a withdrawal.

You must be Daniel's brother?

Jacob.

Mrs. Carlyle, when did they kidnap your son?

Wednesday.

It feels like a year ago.

(Jacob) They cut off his finger to prove that they had him.

And, um, when we went to retrieve it at the park, it was all roped off and there were police everywhere.

A young boy found his finger before you got there.

That's what led us to you.

You found us from his finger?

What are their demands?

$500,000.

And they said that if we went to the police...

They would k*ll Daniel.

That's why we couldn't tell you the truth.

[Clanging]

I'm sorry.

I just can't stop shaking.

I-I'm sorry.

Mr. Monk...

You have to promise me one thing.

[Crying] You won't tell the police.

If you do, they'll k*ll him.

I don't know if I can promise you that.

Do you have children?

Yes, I have a son.

Well, then, you know how I feel.

Wouldn't you do anything for him?

Wouldn't you die for him?

Yes.

I would.

[Telephone rings]

[Ring]

Hello.

We have the money.

I understand.

30 minutes?

Yes, my son Jacob will bring it.

He'll be alone.

Is... danny all right?

Is he hurt?

Could I just speak to him for one...

Please, I just...

They want you to, uh, go to the ymca on vinton street.

And you'll find locker 42 there.

Inside, there'll be a note.

I can't do it.

I-i-I'm gonna mess it up.

I'm sorry.

I can't do it.

That's all right.

I'll do it.

They're expecting a man.

She's right.

We'll have to find a man.

Or... or I could do it.

Sorry.

(Man) Carlyle, have you got the money?

Yes.

Listen carefully.

Take the money from the duffel bag, put it in the trash bag, then get undressed.

Excuse me?

There's a bathrobe. Put it on.

Then go up to the roof.

You'll see a man on the next rooftop.

Throw him the bag.

Do you understand?

H-h-hold on.

Did you say get undressed?

Well, we have to be sure you're not wearing a tracking device.

Okay, here's the thing.

What if I promise you...

I am not wearing a tracking device?

What if I give you my word?

You think this is funny?

Do it, or your kid brother loses another finger.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

Uh, here's... here's the thing.

Uh, i'm... I'm just, uh, I'm not comfortable here.

Uh, I'm not... Even in high school, I couldn't change in the locker-room.

I-I got an incomplete almost every semester.

I almost didn't graduate.

Vice principal Bradley had to call my mother at one point.

What are you talking about?

Are you trying to screw with us?

Then get up on the roof in a bathrobe with the money or Daniel's dead.

Click!

How you doin'?

Rowing machine's broken again.

Uh-oh.

They don't fix anything around here.

They don't clean anything.

I mean, what do we pay our dues for?

Am I right? Right.

[Groans]

Yeah, my membership's up next week.

If they don't get their act together, I'm not renewing.

I'll go to that new place up the street.

How about you? I don't know.

Uh, could you do me a favor and go away?

[Chuckles] What?

Just for three minutes.

Really, it is a matter of life and death.

[Laughing] Yeah, right.

[Cell phone ringing]

Uhh... oh!

I'll get it, I'll get it.

[Grunting]

[Cell phone ringing]

Thank you.

Yeah, hello. Hello.

(Girl) Mr. Monk, is mom there?

Julie, Julie, listen, I took her phone.

I had a couple of errands to run.

Is Tommy okay?

He's fine.

He's... he's fine?

Don't freak out, okay?

I spilled a little grape juice on the rug.

Listen very carefully.

There are some cleaning supplies in the hall closet.

They're arranged alphabetically, then by height, then by date of purchase.

Find the rug cleaner.

Then find a scouring pad.

Then find some distilled water, Julie.

Distilled water. [Phone beeps]

Hold on a second. There's another call.

(Man) I'm waiting. Where the hell are you?

Some grape juice spilled.

You got three minutes, or Daniel's dead.

Julie, I'll call you back.

[Cell phone ringing]

Hello.

(Julie) Mr. Monk?

Everything's okay. The stain is almost out.

Thanks, Julie, i... I appreciate that.

Mr. Monk, you should see Tommy.

He's so cute.

I can tell when he grows up, he's gonna be just like you.

Just like me?

I'll see you when you get home.

[Whistling]

Hey, hey! Carlyle, behind you! Hey!

Hey!

I'm throwin' you the money, okay?

Okay?

Oh, yeah.

Hey!

Hey, what the hell are you doing?

All right, so wait, you... you threw the ransom money to the wrong man.

That's right.

Does that happen a lot?

Oh, yeah.

More than you'd think.

Really?

No, okay? Okay, no.

It's... it's unprecedented.

All right, so what happens now?

Mrs. Carlyle gave me permission to call the captain in.

He recovered the ransom money.

The kidnappers called back two hours later, thank god.

And set up another drop.

Adrian, what happened on that roof...

A mistake like that, that's not like you.

Well, I was distracted.

Natalie's daughter called.

She was babysitting Tommy.

What did she say?

I don't remember.

No, I think you do.

All right.

She spilled some juice, and Tommy was helping to clean it up.

What's funny is she said, uh, that Tommy was just like me.

And that upset you.

No.

No, I was flattered.

Actually, I've been thinking about calling the case worker and... Making it permanent.

Well, that's... heh heh.

That's a pretty big commitment, Adrian.

I mean, that's probably the biggest commitment there is.

Well, I figured he could do a lot worse for a father than me.

Am I right?

Absolutely.

For example, what if he were adopted by...

Uh...

Well, you know.

Mmm...

Wolves.

[Laughs] Wolves who'd probably eat him alive.

Which is something I would never do.

Right! No, of course... Not.

A-a-Adrian, I know you don't want to hear this...

I'm not giving him up.

I'm proud of you... For taking Tommy.

I'm glad you did it, but...

In your heart of hearts, I think you know you're not ready for this.

I'm not giving him up.

(Natalie) Hello?

(Monk) Julie?

[Door closes]

Mom, Mr. Monk, you have to see this.

Come here.

Hey.

[Cries]

[Stops crying]

[Cries]

[Stops crying]

So what?

What?

So he's just like me.

I-I think that's...

I-I think that's...

I think that's okay.

I'm tired of apologizing for him.

What, because he cares about putting things away and how he looks?

That's a good thing.

But, Mr. Monk, he's not even two years old.

Well, then he's in the vanguard, isn't he?

He's a new breed. He's a new breed.

My god. What if it's true?

Mr. Monk, what did Dr. Kroger say?

Dr. Kroger?

Dr. Kroger is not perfect.

Dr. Kroger makes mistakes all the time.

Last year he told me to start dating.

Dating.

Okay, you know what? Just stop.

Honey, we gotta go. It's a school night.

Ooh!

Wait, Mr. Monk, I'm s...

I just gotta say something, and I hope you don't think that I'm out of line.

But I'm a single parent.

And I can tell you, it's hard.

I mean, it's wonderful.

It's just I hope you think about what you're doing.

Mwah! I'll see you tomorrow.

Just think about it.

[Door closes]

Book.

Book.

You want me to read you a story?

Yeah.

Okay, here we go.

Okay, what do we have here?

Which one shall we read?

How about this one?

Okay, here we go.

The Princess and the pea.

"Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom..." look... what is that?

Tommy, what... what is that?

Um, lipstick.

Lipstick.

Where did you... did you...

You got that from Natalie's purse?

You took that out of Natalie's purse?

Um, no.

Captain stottlemeyer, please.

Well, could you have him call Adrian monk as soon as possible.

Tell him it's very important.

Yes, tell him I think I know who kidnapped Daniel Carlyle.

Thank you.

Okay.

Shall we read another story?

Um, yeah.

Okay.

Here we go.

Once upon a time, in the kingdom called San Francisco, there lived a brave little prince.

And his name was Tommy grazer.

Tommy lived with the wicked king and queen.

The queen was very greedy.

She loved gold, and she wanted more and more.

The queen had a plan.

She would find a young Fiddler from a wealthy family, and kidnap him and hold him for ransom.

They locked the Fiddler in a dungeon.

The Fiddler's family was very sad.

They would do anything to get him back.

The wicked king and queen needed to prove that they were serious, so they chopped off the Fiddler's finger and planned to leave it in the park.

But prince Tommy was very brave and very smart.

He liked to reach into ladies' purses.

He reached into the queen's purse and he grabbed the finger.

That's where you found it, isn't it?

Yeah.

Then Tommy made a new friend...

Named Mr. Monk.

Mr. Monk remembered something that the wicked queen said...

The kid found a pinky. It's no big deal.

How did she know the missing finger was a pinky?

The police never released that information.

And then, the most wonderful and surprising thing of all happened.

Mr. Monk discovered that he loved that little prince.

But he also realized that the little prince could never live...

Happily ever after if he stayed at Mr. Monk's house.

'Cause Mr. Monk can barely take care of himself.

So...

They're gonna have to say good-bye.

The end.

[Whispering] Surveillance says there's four kids in the back watching TV.

Where's mom and dad?

In the kitchen having a drink.

Hit it.

Police, on the floor, hands behind your head!

[Helicopter whirring]

(Man on radio) We're clear.

Go back!

Hey!

[Clang]

Daniel!

[Laughs]

[Tommy laughing]

(Monk) I got you. I got you.

Yeah!

Hello.

Hi!

This is the couple I told you about.

This is Hank and Lisa Murphy.

Hi. Hi.

Let him get dirty.

A kid should get dirty.

We will.

Okay then.

Good-bye.

[Natalie giggles]

Okay.

We want kisses too.

[Giggles]

He's so cute.

He's so cute.

He's so cute.

[Sniffles]

Bye.