01x22 - Haute Camp-Ture / After the Dock of Shame

[bunniefuu]

chris: in today's special episode

of total drama island.

you've been watching gwen,

heather, duncan, leshawna, and owen

make their way to the final five.

it's been a long seven weeks.

So we decided to give our weary finalists

The day off to contemplate how far they've gotten

And enjoy all the campgrounds have to offer.

But what happens to the campers

After they walk the dock of shame,

Board the boat of losers and leave the camp?

Where are these rejects living?

How are they spending their time?

And who do they think deserves to win the grand?

The losers are about to let it all hang out.

And you won't wanna miss a word.

Coming up on total drama island.

chorus: ♪ dear mom and dad, i'm doing fine ♪

♪ you guys are on my mind ♪

♪ you asked me what I wanted to be ♪

♪ and now I think the answer is plain to see ♪

♪ I want to be famous ♪

♪ I want to live close to the sun ♪

♪ well pack your bags 'cause I've already won ♪

♪ everything to prove nothing in my way ♪

♪ I'll get there one day ♪

♪ 'cause I want to be famous ♪

♪ nana na'na naana nana nana na nana nana na na ♪

♪ I want to be, I want to be, i want to be famous ♪

♪ I want to be, I want to be, i want to be famous ♪

(whistling I want to be famous)

Welcome to playa de losers!

the all-inclusive luxury resort

where our campers are sent

after being brutally voted out of the game

to lick their wounds and accept their fate

as reality-show has-beens.

when we are down to the two final competitors...

their fate will be in the hands

of these losers!

Ah, he is so cute.

Oh!

Get my shirt wet, why don't you?

(Giggles) sorry, noah!

Whoo!

You guys should come in. It's so nice.

Ow! Something bit me.

(Gasps) was it a shark?

Sharks don't swim in chlorinated water, brainiac.

Noah's right.

Besides,

I think I saw the sharks getting seaweed mud wraps.

(Sighs)

If it wasn't a shark, what was it?

Sorry about that.

I just had the urge to bite something,

Have you ever felt that?

Like you just have to sink your teeth into something?

Maybe that's how sharks feel, huh?

Hmm.

Okay, bye.

chris: as you can see,

our campers have made themselves comfortable

here at our luxury resort.

looks like geoff and bridgette are happy to be reunited.

dude, this resort is off the charts.

Can you believe this place is right around the corner

From that crappy campground?

Now this is what I'm talkin' about.

I could hang here for a while.

(Bird screeching)

oh, no.

Bunny!

After I got my body cast off and the stitches removed,

I started to realize this place is pretty sweet.

chris: yo, cody, need some sunscreen.

you're looking a bit pink, dude.

No, thanks.

I'm trying to get a tan.

It attracts the ladies.

I love being a loser.

This is so much more my style.

If I'd known how fab this place was,

I would've gotten my butt kicked off in the first episode.

Plus, now tyler and I can hang out.

Which one's tyler?

Yo, yo, dawg, check it out.

Being famous has totally changed my life.

I'm just kickin' it, yo, got me some fly bling too,

You like?

(Izzy coughs)

Izzy: look, someone's bikini bottom.

I think that's yours, izzy.

Oh crap, it is.

I don't care how nice this place is,

I'm not supposed to be here.

After I was kicked off,

I found out exactly what went on the night I was eliminated.

Let's see how you like it

When someone messes with your love life.

It was all harold's fault.

I should be in the final five right now.

When I find that little twerp,

I'm going to grab hold of him and wring his skinny,

Awkward, little neck!

You hear me, harold?

I know you're hiding around here somewhere.

He has to come out sometime, and when he does,

He is going to get it!

Okay, I guess what I did to courtney was pretty heinous.

It's just that duncan wouldn't stop bugging me and stuff.

But I'm so starving.

(Rumbles)

(Grunts)

This bites!

Hey, trent, slide me some baloney.

Yeah. What the heck?

Ooh, why are you helping him?

-He's a traitor, eh? -True.

But he doesn't deserve to starve to death.

And he sure can't come out here.

I learned a lot during my experience

On the island with heather.

If you're going to have a best friend

Who makes all of your decisions for you,

You should make sure they're not a total jerk.

Yeah, I was pretty shocked

To be the third camper voted off.

Apparently, I wasn't bossy,

Manipulative, or dangerous enough

To make it through.

You can't say I wasn't a team player, though.

Oh, sorry. Whoo-hoo!

Way to throw those m*rder balls!

Go, team, go.

Oh, my gosh!

We have so much to tell you since we've been here!

Can I say hi to my peeps back home?

What's up, toronto?

We're having so much fun here. This resort rocks!

Yeah, total drama island was really hard.

We even survived our first major fight.

That was so sad, but we totally recovered.

Totally.

And even though that was all, like, so majorly hard,

Nothing was as hard as when we were separated.

Aw, sadie.

I miss you already!

i miss you more!

I miss you infinitely more!

Bye!

I'm in the middle of filing a lawsuit

For wrongful termination of competition.

These people are witnesses!

I was unfairly kicked off!

I didn't see a thing, man.

-You got me. -Must have missed that episode.

What's she talking about?

Didn't see it,

Don't care.

Oh, you all know what happened!

Hey, give her a break already, eh?

I got kicked off on the first--

You just would have been kicked off in another episode.

No one liked you that much.

(Sighing)

That is so not true!

Everyone likes me.

I used to be a c.i.t.

Ow!

This is a coconut.

We're in muskoka, people.

If you're going to drop props on my head,

At least make them geographically correct!

ow!

Are you tyler?

how would I characterize my experience?

Easy. It sucked.

(Growls)

My anger-management issues improved a bit.

Are you tyler?

Did I get anything out of this experience?

No.

It was completely and totally uneventful.

-He kissed a guy. -No, I didn't!

-Yes, you did. -Didn't!

Did!

Did not.

♪ Did, did, did, did ♪

♪ Did-did-did-did did-did did-did-did-did ♪

(Clears throat)

Uh, I can break this tie.

He totally did.

(Screams)

I have no comment.

Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!

I got a letter from my sister

That said there is a picture of me

In star stalker magazine! Yeah!

Both: yeah!

Hey-hey! Congratulations.

You just peaked.

It's all downhill from here, honey.

Maybe if I get an eating disorder or my boobs done,

I'll get on the cover.

so, trent, if you could say something

to one of the five remaining campers,

what would it be?

Uh, I guess I'd tell gwen that I was rooting for her

And I miss her.

I want you to be tough and fight to the end

For both of us.

I'll be watching and cheering for you back home.

The fact that gwen is so smart and independent,

Coupled with the fact that she's incredible to look at,

Is just making me nuts.

She rocks my world.

So, yeah, I'll take a skunk shot for her any day.

Hey, snagged you an extra muffin.

She's special.

And I think I'm in love with her.

Both: aww!

I just hope she's still not ticked at me

About the heather thing.

I would be. If she were me

And you were still you,

You'd be seriously maimed.

Uh, that's a little harsh.

You kissed her mortal enemy.

It wasn't my fault. I was tricked.

Yeah, right. That's what they all say.

"My lips did what they wanted.

My lips have a mind of their own.

Blah, blah, blah, blah,

Fish cakes, blah, blah, blah.

I'm a liar, blah, blah, blah.

Okay.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.

(Sighs)

Ew, izzy.

That is so gross!

What?

It's chlorinated.

Sheesh.

And there you have it.

Stay tuned to hear the answer to the question

Everyone wants to know.

What do the losers think of the final five,

And who will they vote to win?

These answers and more coming up.

Okay, you've seen how the losers are spending their time.

Now it's time to find out what they think of the final five.

Heather can kiss my butt.

It's all her fault I'm stuck in this place.

She is a scum-sucking, backstabbing witch,

And I'm gonna enjoy watching her go down!

chris: wow. tell us how you really feel.

I just did.

Just throwing a few shrimps on the barbie.

Hey, noah, that means you.

Just kidding, okay?

Well, I think heather is a total psycho.

Heather is a formidable competitor,

But I can't say I approve of her tactics.

I mean, reading gwen's diary in front of the whole world...

So uncalled for.

Heather was definitely the scariest female

On the island, but I can handle her.

Did you hear something?

There you are, you little traitor!

ow, ow, ow, ow! ah, ah!

Duh, poor sucker.

Wow.

Glad she wasn't my c.i.t.

So, trent, lindsay, give us your take on heather.

I hope I never meet anyone like her ever again.

She is really mean, like, really mean.

I'm calling my parents.

You cannot make me stay here.

That's just great!

Why do we keep losing people?

(All cheering)

Why don't you dodge this?

Ow!

I had to take the leadership role.

Hello, we're on a losing streak.

And, really, everyone else on the team

Is pretty useless.

She was pretty bossy, eh?

Oh, she was so totally bossy.

Beth, lindsay, go warm up the shower for me.

Now! Go get me some chips.

In the forest?

In the dining hall, now.

Go get my makeup bag from the cabin!

But the bees.

Now!

Telling her off was the best moment of my life.

If none of us even like her,

How did heather get into the final?

'cause she is a conniving, backstabbing, little witch!

that's why!

Who would I like to win?

i can't believe i'm saying this,

But I think I'd have to pick duncan.

Don't tell the others, though, okay?

Oh, we already know. You were all over him.

My golden lab drools less over a rib-eye steak.

And we eavesdropped again.

Oh!

Duncan?

Man, that is one tough dude.

I saw him wrestle a grizzly bear to the ground.

bunny!

Duncan, I hate that guy.

He made me pee my pants.

He drew on my face with a marker.

He strung my underwear up a flagpole,

Put hot sauce in them, and then fed them to me

For lunch in an underwear sandwich.

Gross!

He is beyond annoying.

Idiot!

(Crashing)

Duncan is not as tough as he seems.

Courtney told me he has a sweet side to him.

(Slurping)

Well, I think he is pretty cruel.

anyone who treats deer and trees badly

is not a friend to deer or trees.

Owen? He was so much fun.

He was kind of mean in the dodgeball game.

Oh, I know.

Game on!

(Whistle blows)

Maybe he is not so bad.

We all know who you want to win.

Yeah. Gwen's definitely my choice.

okay, but come on.

She is smart, but she is not exactly a team player.

I was a team player. It should be me.

You're here. You lost.

Get over it. (Glass clanking)

She let herself get buried alive for her team.

Goodbye, cruel world.

She was kind of harsh sometimes.

communal bathrooms, but I'm not catholic.

Not communion.

Communal!

It means we shower together, idiot.

Oh, but she played the best prank on heather.

Did you say you brought a red-ant farm with you?

Yes.

(Screams)

Oh! Oh!

Well, I think gwen is really cool.

Her and leshawna were so nice to me

When we merged teams.

I'd vote for either of them to win.

Okay, let's talk about lefonda.

all: leshawna!

At first, I thought she was real loud.

But then I realized she is my soul mate.

I can't say anything bad about her.

And I excel at saying bad things about people.

I think she is so fetch!

She has the best style.

We've been friends since the beginning.

You weren't even on the same team.

Irregardless.

noah: she locked heather in the fridge.

Anyone who can come up with something like that

Gets my vote.

Dude, you got cooked today.

Who, me? Ah, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Little sensitive.

So who do you guys want to win if you could vote right now?

Can I pick sadie?

Aww.

You'd pick me and not you?

Duh, you can't vote for yourself. That's tacky.

Kay, I'll vote for you to win, and you vote for me to win!

(Clears throat)

Girls, you have to be in the final five to get a vote.

Remember?

Oh, yeah. I don't know, then.

-Well, I think gwen should win. -lindsay: really?

But she rejected you on international tv

For someone more cooler, hunkier, and more stylish.

Thanks for pointing that out, lindsay.

Gwen is my dream girl.

I'm just not her dream guy.

But as long as she is happy, hey, I'm happy.

That's really cool, dude.

Ahh! Hurts.

Oops, sorry, man.

I can't decide between leshawna and gwen.

They're both really cool.

Leshawna, definitely.

But you'd vote for duncan, right?

Why would I do that?

Because if you don't,

I'm going to post all of your little love letters

To leshawna on the internet.

Fine. Whatever.

I'll vote for duncan.

(Stifles laugh) not.

I think owen should win.

He is a ticking time b*mb of noxious fumes.

(Farting)

Owen, definitely.

Dude can chug three liters of pop in under a minute.

He deserves the g's.

A, b, c, d, e-f-g-h-i-j-k-l-m-n -o-p-q-r- s-t- u-v-w-x-y-z.

I don't think anyone's giving duncan enough credit.

he woke up from a monster nap

and helped us win the dodge ball challenge.

(Bell dings)

Okay, that's true.

That was some sick prison strategy

He pulled out of his butt.

He had all five of you whaling on one opponent

At the same time.

I like his style.

I think gwen should win.

Ha-ha!

Okay, losers.

It is time for the most unexpected twist of all time.

Tonight, you will be voting the next camper off

total drama island.

No way!

Oh, yes.

Tyler?

Here's how it's gonna work.

There are no marshmallows.

I'm gonna ask you one by one

Who you would like to see join you here tonight

At playa de losers.

Katie and sadie, since you share a brain,

I'll ask you both.

who would you like to vote for?

Oh! I miss leshawna the most!

(Bell dings)

Oh, it would be so much fun to have her here.

Definitely leshawna!

(Bell dings)

(All gasps)

Why are you voting her off?

If you like leshawna--

-(Bell dings) -leave her in!

That's three votes, leshawna.

What? No!

You're just voting off my girlfriend to spite me.

Let go of me, you big geek!

Hey!

Oh, whoa!

Ahh!

Excellent.

Okay, onto the next voter, lindsay.

Don't worry, I'm not gonna vote for leshawna.

(Bell dings)

lindsay!

No, you can't vote for me.

You have to vote for someone who is in the final five,

Like leshawna.

-(Bell dings) -okay, come on, guys.

No one say, leshawna!

-(Bell dings) -that's six votes, leshawna.

(Squawks)

-Leshawna. -(Bell dings)

All: no!

Seven votes, leshawna.

Chris, that was a parrot.

It doesn't even know who leshawna is.

(Bell dings) (squawks)

parrot: polly wanted leshawna.

-(Bell dings) -nine!

And with that, we're down to four.

Tune in next week to see the dramatic

Almost-conclusion of total drama island.

(Squawks)