04x24 - That '70s Musical

[bunniefuu]

Okay, my friends, invitations to see Fez in tonight's Spring Sing.

Charmingly illustrated by the hand of Fez.

Great, something to put my gum in.

Just kidding.

Oh, man, this concert's tonight?

Yes, it's tonight.

I've been talking about it for weeks.

Yeah, I don't know, Fez.

I mean, I'm still kind of tired from the party last night.

Party? What party?

You know, the party. You were there.

No, I do not know and I was not there.

Someone forgot to tell me.

I could've sworn you were there.

Remember when the college girl got up on the table?

Took her top off?

What?!

Yeah, that was great, man.

Wait, even Smokey the Bear was there?

Fine.

Fine, what's done is done.

The important thing is where you're gonna be tonight.

At my concert watching me.

Oh, it's gonna be such a wonderful evening.

Music, good friends and dancing.

Just like life should be.

j& Sing j& j& Sing a song j& j& Sing out loud j& j& Sing out strong j& j& Sing of good things, not bad, man j& j& Sing of happy, not sad j& j& La la la la la la j& j& La la la la la la j& j& La la la la la j& j& La la la la la j& j& La la la la la j& j& Sing j& j& Sing a song j& j& Make it simple j& j& To last your whole life long j& j& Don't worry that it's not good enough j& j& For anyone else to hear j& j& Just sing j& j& Sing a song j&

This is my favorite part.

So what do you think?

I think whatever you're on, I'll take two of 'em.

j& Hangin' out j& j& Down the street j& j& The same old thing j& j& We did last week j& j& Not a thing to do j& j& But talk to you j& j& We're all all right j& j& We're all all right j&

Hello, Wisconsin!

j& Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do j&

Perfecto.

Well, Fez, was that you?

I could've sworn I just heard Wayne Newton.

Mr. and Mrs. Forman, you came to my concert.

Well, it's the Spring Sing.

There is no place we'd rather be than the Spring Sing.

Now, Kitty, that's just a lie.

Ai, here comes my music teacher Mr. Wilkinson.

He is unpleasant.

Are you the parents of this horrible little man?

I'll have you know he's been imitating my accent behind my back.

Well, first of all, we are not his parents.

And second of all, well, the rest of it I just don't care about.

I'm moving you to the back row so that no one can hear that squawk box that you call a voice.

The back row?

But the back row is for the untalented and the ugly!

Oh, you're no fun.

Music is not about fun.

It's about passion and commitment.

Have you ever been moved to tears by the warbling timber of your own voice?

No, because I am a man.

Ohh!

Well, he just, um...

He doesn't seem to like you at all.

The British have always hated my people.

We won the w*r, buddy! Get over it!

Oh, good one, Fez.

Well, you certainly seem in high spirits.

Of course. Soon all my friends are gonna be here, and we'll be all like a family.

I wish you were my family.

Oh, we would be so happy together.

Okay, kids, it's nighty-night time!

Good night, Mom.

Night, Ma!

That's my mama!

I love you, Fez.

I love you more!

I love you the most!

Daddy!

All right, sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs put their foot in your ass.

Okay, boys, lights out.

And no more staying up till 8:30 giving each other hugs.

Aww! Aww!

See you in the morning.

j& Imagine me and you j& j& I do j& j& I think about you day and night j& j& It's only right j& j& To think about the one you love j& j& And hold him tight j& j& So happy together j&

All: j& We're happy together j&

Are you people singing again?!

Yes. Good, 'cause... j& I can't see me lovin' nobody but you j& j& For all my life j&

Both: j& When you're with me j& j& Baby, the skies'll be blue j& j& For all my life j& j& Me and you, and you and me j& j& No matter how they toss the dice j& j& It has to be j& j& The only one for me is you j& j& And you for me j&

All: j& So happy together j& j& I can't see me lovin' nobody but you j& j& For all my life j& j& When you're with me, baby, the skies'll be blue j& j& For all my life j& j& So happy together j& j& So how is the weather? j& j& Ba-ba ba ba j& j& Ba-ba ba ba j& j& Ba-ba ba ba j& j& Ba-ba ba ba j& j& Ba-ba ba ba j& j& Ba-ba ba ba j& j& Ba-ba ba ba j& j& Ba-ba ba ba j&

Well, that was... detailed.

You are one fruity kid.

Now, remember, singing is all about the use of the diaphragm.

And what's so funny about the proper use of the diaphragm?

It's the muscle you breathe with...

Below your bosom.

Oh, bloody imbeciles.

So this must be a very exciting night for you.

If the mayor likes what he sees, I'll be directing this year's Dairy Days Dance-a-bration.

Oh, that is always wonderful.

One time they had a quartet dressed as cows, and they sang "Blue Moon".

Ha ha ha!

'Cause they were cows!

Yes, I'm sure you thick-headed Americans could hardly contain your grunts.

Well, I thought it was delightful.

Hey, everybody!

Bob!

Hey, I saved seats for you and the g*ng.

I don't think they're coming.

Of course they are.

Well, you know, I asked if they needed a ride, but they said no.

When I left, they were just sitting in the basement laughing.

But the show's about to start.

Ooh, then I better get to the refreshment table.

Did you know that all that stuff was free?

Well, it says "donations accepted," but you don't gotta put nothing in.

My friends are still in the basement?

I wonder what they're doing?

Oh, I'm sure they're just... Miss Kitty, please.

I'm trying to wonder.

Ooh, guys, Fez's concert is about to start.

Which means we have three more hours without his sorry ass!

Let's eat his candy.

Yeah.

My name is Fez. I love candy.

Whore. Good day. I said, good day!

Yeah, and the best part is that idiot actually thinks I'm his friend.

Like I care. I wish he were dead.

Oh, hey, we should k*ll him.

No, I got a better idea.

Let's sing without him. j& Some people call me the space cowboy j& j& Yeah, some call me the gangster of love j& j& Mm-hmm j& j& Some people call me Maurice j& j& 'Cause I speak of the pompatus of love j& j& 'Cause I'm a picker j& j& I'm a grinner j& j& I'm a lover j& j& And I'm a sinner j& j& I get my lovin' on the run j& j& I'm a joker j& j& I'm a smoker j& j& I'm a midnight toker j&

All: j& Playing my music in the sun j& j& Whoo j&

All: j& Whoo j&

So they would rather make fun of me than come here.

Well, honey, you know, at least they're singing.

Like you'll be doing real soon. j& Happy song, happy song j&

You know, last night they went to a party without me...

A topless party!

What?! Where?!

They were the first people to be nice to me when I came to America, but maybe I'm not their friend.

Maybe I'm just a goofy foreign kid.

Well, can't you be both?

I would settle for "friend," but I don't even think I am that.

You still got "goofy foreign kid." That's something.

Well, the butts are in the seats, but not one butt is the butt of a friend.

Well, this is just rude.

They better have run out of gas or hit a deer or something.

Okay, places, everyone.

Let's show them what we've got... Teeth and cleavage!

Teeth and cleavage!

Well, that does it! Now I am mad!

All they care about is themselves and their stupid, messed-up relationships.

Boo hoo! Love hurts!

Well, they deserve it.

Aw, jeez, not another one.

Oh! Do we really have to see that foreign boy sing?

I'm not going.

I'm in too much pain from our break-up.

Even though it was months ago, it still affects every part of my life.

Me, me, me.

No! Me, me, me.

What about me, me, me?!

Me. Me.

Me. All: me!

j& Love hurts j& j& Love scars j& j& Love wounds j& j& Love mars j& j& Any heart not tough j& j& Or strong enough j& j& To take a lot of pain j& j& Take a lot of pain j& j& Love is like a cloud j& j& It holds a lot of rain j& j& Love hurts j&

All: j& Ooh, love hurts j&

All: j& Love hurts j& j& Love scars j& j& Love wounds j& j& Love mars j& j& Hurts, scars Wounds, mars j& j& I know it isn't true j& j& I know it isn't true j& j& Love is just a lie j& j& Made to make you blue j&

All: j& Love hurts j& j& Oooh j& j& Love hurts j& j& Ooh j&

Wow, I just caught the end, but that was nice!

Leo, you made it!

No, I got this at a church sale.

Hey, where's that dude and that other dude?

And that girl?

And that dude?

And the other girl?

They're not here.

It's just me alone.

Always alone.

j& Imagine me j& j& And you j& j& I do j& j& So happy... j& j& Together j&

Aw, forget it. I'm going home.

Hey, Fez.

Where the hell have you been?!

Well, we were on our way here when we passed by your music teacher's house.

And I said, "Fez hates that guy!

Let's toilet paper it."

So... So we did.

For me? And then we had to go get some dog poop, 'cause we looked at his porch and realized, "Hey, not enough dog poop."

There is enough dog poop now.

And we got you an opening night present.

Congratulations, buddy.

Ha ha ha!

Bloody hell!

Is that my mailbox?

Bloody 'ell.

Is that me mailbox? Ha ha ha!

It's dead on!

Yes, I'm sure you'll all remember this fondly as you rot in your Barca loungers, cheeseburgers clenched in your fat American fists.

You got that right, buddy.

Aw, look who has so many friends!

Don't ever leave him alone with us again.

I'm so glad you came.

Tonight wouldn't mean anything without you guys.

Oh, Fez, we wouldn't miss it. I mean... j& There's nothing more that I'd like to do j& j& Than take the stage and dance with you j& j& Keep dancin' j& j& Let's keep dancin' j& j& Shake your groove thing Shake your groove thing j& j& Yeah, yeah, whoo j& j& Shake it, shake it j& j& Shake your groove thing j& j& Shake your groove thing j& j& Yeah, yeah j& j& Shake it, shake it j& j& Let's show the world we can dance j& j& Bad enough to strut our stuff j& j& Funky sounds, wall-to-wall j& j& We're bumpin' booties Havin' us a ball j& j& Yeah j& j& Shake your groove thing Shake your groove thing j& j& Yeah, yeah, whoo j& j& Shake it, shake it j& j& Shake your groove thing j& j& Shake your groove thing j& j& Yeah, yeah j& j& Show 'em how to do it now j& j& Shake your groove thing Shake your groove thing j& j& Yeah, yeah j& j& Show 'em how to do it now j& j& Show 'em how to do it now j& j& Whoo j&

j& Shake it, shake it j& j& Shake your groove thing Shake your groove thing j& j& Yeah, yeah j& j& Shake it, shake it j& j& Shake your groove thing Shake your groove thing j& j& Yeah, yeah j& j& Shake it, shake it j& j& Ah, shake it, shake it j& j& Ah, shake it, shake it j&

Whoo!

Boy, do I know how to shake it.

Imbecile, you're on.

Well, that's my cue.

This is just like A Star is Born and I'm Barbra Streisand.

Love me!

I'm so happy to be back home with my friends. j& Some people call me the space cowboy j&

No. Nobody calls you that.

If anyone's a "space cowboy," it's me.

What? In your dreams, Forman.

I'm widely acknowledged as the "space cowboy" of this group.

And I also call "midnight toker."

Wow!

This cheeseburger is bloody brilliant.

j& Love mars j& j& Hurts j&

Aah!

Dude, come here. j& I can't see me lovin' nobody but you j& j& For all my life j&

Good, 'cause... j& I can't see me lovin' nobody but... j&

You had it.

That was your best one! j& Shake it, shake it j&

Whoo!